The Fantastic Mr Walker
by ShinyShiny9
Summary: Hold the nunchucks, hit the bad guys, they said. It'll be easy, they said. Now there's aliens crashlanding on Ninjago, a mysterious crime ring is rising to power, and it seems like everybody on the ninja team suddenly has secrets to keep - some darker than others. But hey, nothing here the Master of Lightning can't handle! Having your hands full is all part of the fun.
1. FIRST

**Well, my timing is officially le suck. Of course I start a massive Jay-centric story just before LEGO releases a canon-shattering Jay-centric season! XD**

 **Ah, well, it'll be fun anyway!**

 **Fair warning, this story's going to ramble. It's gotten beyond the point of denial: I like fluff, and I don't care if it's cheap. There will be romance and hugs and prank wars and teenage mayhem and gratuitous cuteness and more brotherly fluff than is healthy for human consumption.**

 **Err** — **also blood violence, drug culture, character death, and several instances of amateur surgery sans anesthesia. Despite the rampant fluff, this is the most complex plot I've ever attempted, and there'll be dark elements to match. Just so y'all know ahead of time.**

 **So. Onwards towards the inevitable trainwreck! :D**

 **This is set . . . technically after Season 4, before Season 5. (There will be no Ghostie-Cole. Nope. None.)**

 **Disclaimer: Ninjago and all its ilk belong to LEGO, not me.**

* * *

 **Sept. 2**

 **3:14 AM**

* * *

The first alarm was a Klaxon.

It blared through the stillness of the night, roaring out the news that there was something to be panicked about. Soon it was joined by a chorus of every other kind of alarm imaginable; the scale-sliding howl of air raid sirens, the frantic chirp of smoke detectors, the wail of every kind of siren ever employed by police, fire, and emergency medical services, and the throaty whoop of the Star Trek red alert.

Anyone on the _Bounty_ who hadn't jolted awake at the first alarm was awake soon enough after that.

"What's going on?!" yelped Cole drowsily, tumbling out of bed with a thump and a flourish of blankets. Jay and Kai, both having fallen out of the habit of top-bunk sleeping, forgot they couldn't just jump out of bed. Meanwhile Zane was getting out of bed in a very reasonable and efficient manner, but then Kai fell on him. The tangle on the floor was getting drastic.

"Guys?" Lloyd's voice barely cut through the maelstrom of alarms. "What's going—oof!"

He'd have made it to the door just fine if the others hadn't been in the way.

The bunkroom door slammed open. Nya, framed in a shaft of light from the hallway, started to speak and then slapped her forehead wearily as she took in the valiant struggle to get disentangled and upright. Deja vu. Only now there were _five_ of them.

"There's an emergency!" she bellowed over the noise. "Get to the control room, stat!"

That said, she left them to their drowsy, bewildered efforts.

Soon enough, though, the five ninja had gathered in the control room, still in pajamas, sleepy-eyed, and with hair in disarray. They did their best to haul themselves into alertness as Nya, wrapped in a terrycloth robe, scurried about shutting off alarms. Incrementally the noise died down, until only a few fairly tolerable wailers were left. Nya ignored them, scruffing a hand through her hair and eyeing the outside display screen anxiously. There was a faint film of sleepiness over her eyes too, but somehow she was still functioning at full capacity.

"What's going on?" yawned Lloyd.

"An unknown, massive object has been detected in the planet's atmosphere," said Nya crisply, flicking switches and pulling levers. "It's descending fast. Trajectory indicates it came from beyond the atmosphere."

"You mean—from outer space? A UFO?!" There was considerable excitement.

"Well, it's definitely unidentified," said Nya. "It passed over Metalonia in a fireball about two minutes ago, and it's approaching us at a speed of about twenty-five thousand miles per hour."

"Oh my gosh!" Jay was wide awake now. "Aliens are coming in for a landing! Right here! Right now!"

"Not coming in for a landing," said Nya, shaking her head. "Crashing."

"Crashing?!"

"The standard speed of atmospheric entry is only seventeen thousand five-hundred miles per hour," Zane volunteered. "It is experiencing uncontrolled descent."

"What if it hits us?!" yelped Jay.

"Very unlikely," said Zane. "However, based on the current trajectory—" he glanced at the shifting diagrams on the display screen "—it will pass about two miles overhead, and crash about five miles from our current location."

"That's right," said Nya approvingly. "It should hit open forest, luckily, but we still need to—ah! It's close enough to get a visual!" She typed a few commands eagerly, and the others crowded closer.

The night sky blinked onto the viewscreen, thick and black. In the middle of it, a tiny streak of orange flickered. Gradually it grew larger. The camera tracked it perfectly so it seemed to hang motionless in the sky, with blazing flames streaming from its front in a killer wind.

"It's only speeding up," fretted Nya, checking various scanners.

"Can you tell what it is?" asked Cole, squinting. "It just looks like a ball of fire to me. How do we know it's not just a fancy asteroid?"

"We don't have the best scanners here on the _Bounty_ , but I'm definitely picking up some kind of unknown element making up that object," said Nya. "The readings are confirmed by the skytracker center in Metalonia, and they also got to observe its behavior on entering the atmosphere. It's definitely hollow."

"I can't believe this!" Jay was beside himself.

"What is going on here?" Sensei Wu appeared in the doorway, leaning a little more heavily than usual on his staff. Late-night arousals did not suit him.

"Aliens are crash-landing five miles from here!" crowed Jay, trading ecstatic grins with Lloyd. "This is like the most epic sci-fi movie ever! But it's _real!_ "

"We don't know that it's actually an alien spacecraft," said Cole, ever the voice of reason. "It could just be a Ninjagian satellite that dropped out of orbit or something."

"Stop spoiling the party!" snorted Jay. "You heard Nya—unknown element! Where there's unknown elements, there's gotta be aliens!"

"And the aliens are going to die pretty spectacularly once they hit the ground," said Kai. He didn't mean to be macabre, but he couldn't help it; early AM hours tended to unlock his darker half.

Jay and Lloyd both sobered up rapidly.

"But come on, they're gonna survive, right?" said Lloyd. "They always do, in the movies!"

"This ain't the movies," said Kai bluntly, folding his arms.

"But—"

"Guys!" Nya's voice broke through the impending quarrel. "It's approaching us now!"

Everyone fell dead silent. For a second there was nothing. Then Zane stiffened. The others strained their ears all the harder, knowing that they would soon be picking up what Zane's keen Nindroid senses registered first.

And then, there it was: a soft, faint rumble, like a distant murmur of thunder. Only instead of dying away, it kept building and building, rising to a full thunderstorm roar—

—And suddenly the lights went out. Pitch dark.

There were yelps and hollers and some stumbling around, muffled by the still-rising thunder of the out-of-control space object. The scream of slicing air joined the din, the crackle of electrical discharge and fire, louder, louder—everyone fell silent and still as the monstrous noise passed directly overhead, sounding like it was a mere two feet above the roof instead of two miles. The floorboards quivered beneath them, and a faint orange glow glinted against the windowsills.

The light faded. The noise started to die away. An instant later there was a blinding flash of searing yellow light, dead silent, turning the night briefly into day. Everyone gasped.

It was twenty-five seconds later that the sound—and the shockwave—hit them. The _Bounty_ wasn't supposed to be able to perform sumersaults, but in that moment it seemed to do its very best to try. There was a crunch of felling trees and a lurching impact as the massive ship lost control and hit the ground; everyone was thrown to the floor and tossed against the back wall of the control room in a tangle of limbs and startled cries.

A few seconds more. The silence and darkness returned.

"Is everyone okay?" asked Cole, just a little shaky. Nobody was about to judge him; the affirmations coming back were shaky too.

For a moment it seemed everyone was accounted for—then suddenly Lloyd asked, "Wait! What about Zane?"

There was no answer. They began to fumble about in the dark, trying not to poke each other in the eye or crash into each other. Suddenly Jay gave an _"oof!_ ", and there was a sound of someone hitting the floor.

"Jay?"

" . . . I-I think I found him," came the terrified response.

A few minutes later the _Bounty's_ backup generator finally deigned to start working, and the lights flickered dimly back on. Zane's anxious teammates were greeted by the sight of a very unconscious Nindroid.

"What happened?" asked Cole, eyes wide. "Did he get hurt when the ship crashed?"

"No," whispered Jay suddenly. "Earlier! The power outage!"

"When the ship passed overhead, it knocked out _everything_ electronic," Kai picked up the thread. "Including Zane!"

"But the lights came back on," said Nya. No further comparison was needed.

"Zane?" Lloyd shook the Nindroid's shoulder gently. "Wake up, buddy. Come on, wake up."

A terrifying moment during which there was no response. Nobody breathed.

Then, without warning, Zane twitched. He shuddered all over, his eyes flickering hesitantly open as the others all sighed in relief. "Powering . . . up . . . " Zane's voice was a little slower than usual, his eyes still shuttering lazily open and closed. They were a misty pale-blue, barely glowing.

"Are you okay?" asked Cole, tilting his head worriedly at Zane's blank expression. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine. Systems coming back online," slurred Zane. "But I see . . . static . . . "

An uneasy silence.

"For a minute there I thought you were going to say 'dead people'," said Jay, his tone hovering between anxiety and humor.

"Those too."

"What?!"

Zane gave a soft chuckle, rubbing at one eye.

"No, I am fine. It's clearing. It must have been an aftereffect of the power outage. I . . . seem to have passed out rather abruptly, didn't I?"

"That weird thing in the sky just knocked out everything!" said Kai, helping Zane to his feet. "I don't think an asteroid can do _that._ "

"No way," agreed Jay. "Totally aliens. We've gotta go find that thing! Those aliens could be angry!"

"We can't go _now_ ," said Cole.

"Are you kidding me?" Jay put his hands on his hips. "A power-killing alien spaceship crashlands a few miles from here, and you want to hang around till morning to check it out?!"

"Do you feel like stumbling around in the night getting stalked by angry aliens?" retorted Cole. "Besides, we'd never be able to find it in the dark."

"Plus it would be _much_ too hot for you guys to approach it," added Nya, going back to the control panel and channeling some of the auxiliary power to some sensors. Abruptly the main power clicked back on, brightening the lights.

"It's going to be too hot to touch for quite a few hours," continued Kai's sister, typing rapidly. "Best bet is to wait until morning at least. If there even _are_ any passengers on that thing, they'll probably be in shock from the landing and won't be moving around for quite a bit anyway."

"But not dead, right?" asked Lloyd, trying and failing to sound casual. He was a hopeless softy when it came to the little critters of nature, and aliens apparently counted as little critters of that sort.

"Hopefully not," said Nya, not sounding convinced. "But I can't say for sure. That was quite an explosion . . . "

"Yeah . . . it was . . . "

"Hey." Kai, relenting, put a hand on Lloyd's shoulder. "If they can build a spaceship that can stand outer space and travel who-knows-how far, I'm sure they could also build it to handle a bit of a rough landing. The little monsters'll be fine."

Lloyd smiled gratefully. Meanwhile Nya completed a few scans.

"There don't seem to be any spreading fires . . . no detectable radiation coming from that direction either. Looks like it's safe for now."

"Then it's settled," said Jay, rubbing his hands eagerly. "First thing tomorrow, we head out to find that spaceship and say hi to some extraterrestrials!"

"Great," said Cole. "Can't wait. Until then, I'm going back to bed."

"You're not _serious!_ "

"Hey, you guys can sit up and play backgammon if you'd rather. If we can't do anything, I'd just as soon be in bed, myself."

In the end they all went to bed; they were too excited to just hang around killing time. Naturally, though, they were also much, _much_ too excited to sleep.

"What do you think they'll look like?" Lloyd pushed himself up on his elbows.

"Oh, you know the drill. Little short green guys with antennae," said Kai. "Big heads, big black eyes, shiny silver underpants."

The others, high on adrenaline, found this funnier than was strictly merited.

"Aww, come on, be more creative!" chided Jay once the laughter had died away. "I bet they look like spaghetti and meatballs."

"Or trees! Walking trees."

"Teeny-tiny hamsters with pink hair ribbons!"

"Biker Mice from Mars!"

"Tiny Trobbit people!"

"Tiny _what_ people?"

"You don't even wanna know."

"What do you think, Cole?" Jay asked the only ninja who hadn't spoken up yet.

No reply.

"Oh, you can _not_ be asleep," scoffed Jay. "Cole?"

Still getting no reply, he swung his head down over the edge of his bunk to check. He was rewarded with a pillow square in the face.

"High-tech chickens in wigs," said Cole smugly.

The rest of the night was spent theorizing about aliens and hurling the occasional pillow.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, that's a start! I'm attempting to be relatively accurate with this story, and this chapter was one of the most research-heavy to write. I wound up researching the normal speed of reentry, the speed of sound, and even various alarm sirens. There are some very cool videos on YouTube; apparently there are actually serious siren enthusiasts out there. Yeah.**

 **So, drop a review if you're interested! Not sure when the next chapter will be; I have a lot pre-written, but I write slowly and I don't want the updates to catch up to me. A week at the very soonest, I guess?**


	2. A Wild Extraterrestrial Appeared!

**Sept. 2**

 **7 AM**

* * *

The next morning it was barely even light before the ninja were already up and dressed. Nya checked over the damage done to the _Bounty_ when it crashed.

"That's gonna be a week or two of repairs," she announced glumly. "At least one of the rocket boosters is totalled, so we can't fly. You guys will have to take your dragons to the crashed spaceship."

They gazed through the treetops at the twisting column of smoke rising from the distant woods.

"Well, we won't have any trouble finding it," said Lloyd.

Refusing to let them set out willy-nilly, Nya outfitted them with several cameras, a medical kit, and a Geiger counter (although Zane assured her that he could scan for radiation himself). They also brought along their weapons, just in case the aliens weren't friendly.

"Swords and shurikens aren't gonna do much against space lasers," remarked Kai, but nobody seemed to worry much about that. Summoning their dragons one by one, they launched off the _Bounty's_ deck, dodged a few trees, and burst out into the sunshine above.

The dragons were quick; covering the five miles was a short matter. However, as they drew within a mile or so of the crash site, smoke hung heavier and heavier in the air. Far ahead of them they could see a gigantic patch of flattened and damaged trees—but it was getting harder and harder to see _anything_ as the smoke stung their eyes.

"Guys, I think we may have to—" Cole started to cough. Abruptly his dragon vanished; Kai swooped to catch him before he could fall very far.

"Approach from the ground?" finished Kai.

"Yeah." Cole coughed again. "Smoke rises. It should be okay under the tree cover."

They landed amongst the trees (the air was indeed clearer down here) and began plowing through the woods. The leafy canopy overhead blocked out most of the sky, but the farther they went the more damaged their surroundings looked.

"The force of the explosion when the craft struck must have caused quite a shockwave," said Zane, studying the litter of snapped twigs on the ground.

"I dunno, I think they restrained themselves," said Jay. "I've heard of asteroids flattening miles and miles of forest! They must have a special ship that doesn't create a lot of damage when it hits."

"They must be really smart," said Kai, looking grim. "I hope that 'smart' goes with 'friendly'."

"By the way, Zane, if you start feeling weird or anything, say so," said Cole. "If the ship knocked you out last night, it might do it now too."

"Nothing wrong so far," shrugged Zane.

They drew closer and closer. Now small trees were also damaged, tilting crazily or leaning against other trees. The searchers' anticipation grew. The aliens could be out in the woods already . . . everyone kept a careful eye out, not keen on jumpscares.

Soon the sound of rushing water rose in the distance, and they stumbled upon a large brook cutting across their path. It didn't look too deep, but it was extremely fast; water frothed angry and white around the occasional jutting rock or downed tree. For a while they eyed this obstacle, particularly one shaky-looking log midstream that seemed their best bet for getting across.

"Hey, I'll go first," said Cole at last. "If I can make it, anyone can make it."

"You said it, not me," grinned Jay as the others backed away to give Cole room. The earth ninja judged the distance carefully, then took a running start and jumped as far as he could, landing on the nearest rock. For a moment he teetered, feet skidding, but at the last second he pulled himself together and threw himself to the log. The log groaned and rolled over slightly, but Cole was already jumping off the other end and continuing from rock to rock. He made the crossing safely.

"It's really slippery, especially the first rock!" he shouted back to the others. The others exchanged glances, trying to pick out who ran the gauntlet next.

"Ten nights of dessert says Jay falls in," said Kai, stepping up.

"Hey!"

Cole, waiting on the opposite bank, looked at the scorch marks on the ground and grimaced. In the distance he could see the beginning of total destruction . . . they were really close to the crash site now. He tuned in his ears, listening for any suspicious sounds, but all he heard was the usual array of forest noises, the rush of the brook, and the pit-pat-thump of the others jumping from rock to rock.

 _Kersplash!_

"Called it!"

"Shut _up._ "

Chuckling, Cole glanced back to find Zane helping a very soaked Jay out of the knee-deep water.

"It's _freezing_ ," said Jay, teeth chattering.

"Way to impress those aliens," snarked Kai, balancing precariously on a peaked stone. Lloyd, for reasons beyond human understanding, seemed to judge this stone big enough to hold both of them and jumped to join him. Kai yelped and just barely made it to the next rock in time.

"Keep it together, guys, we're almost there," said Cole.

They fought their way through the tangled wreckage where the main damage started. Then suddenly they were out in the open, flattened trees all around them, and a few hundred yards ahead of them lay the crashed ship.

They stood and gazed at it for a moment. The craft was crumpled and cracked, huge jagged fragments spreading like the petals of a silver flower, but it still held most of its original shape. It looked a little like a double-ended bullet. The pointed front was sunk deep into the ground, while the similarly pointed tail, angled towards the sky, sported three wrecked rocket boosters.

"Still okay, Zane?"

"Still fine. It must have been an effect of the moving ship; perhaps its rapid descent caused it to emit electromagnetic waves."

Kai paused to fasten a small camera headband onto his head, and Jay clicked on a handheld. Then the ninja approached the wreckage, breaths bated.

"Hello?" called Cole. "Anyone there?"

No reply. Zane tilted his head studiously, listening, but seemingly registered nothing.

"Can you scan for lifeforms or something?" asked Jay, gesturing at the wreck. Zane shook his head.

"I can, however, scan for radiation." His eyes flickered briefly. "Nothing above normal ambiant levels. It should be safe."

A brief pause as everyone considered what they should do next.

"There's an access hatch or something," said Kai at last, pointing to an open area near the tail. With only a second's hesitation, Cole stepped over and made to climb up the side of the ship. Immediately he cried out and yanked his hands away.

"Still hot," he said ruefully. Pulling back, he whirled into a Spinjitzu tornado and skip-hopped his way to the access hatch, landing on the edge. For a moment he shifted from foot to foot, hissing irately as the hot metal nipped at his soles; then Zane sent a wash of ice over the surface he was standing on. It melted almost instantaneously, leaving the edge cool enough to stand on.

"Thanks," said Cole. "Come on up, you guys."

He peered into the interior of the ship, eyebrows raised, then dropped through the access hatch and out of sight.

Burning with curiosity, the others followed him up. There was only room for three to stand at the edge of the hatch, so Zane was left teetering on a crumbling rocket booster. The heat didn't seem to bother him.

"It's amazing," whispered Jay, forgetting his frustration with his wet clothes. They weren't able to see much, since the hatch led to a small and unimpressive airlock, but what they could see through the opposite airlock door looked just like a spaceship interior straight out of _Starfarer_.

"Anything down there, Cole?" called Kai. Cole's shaggy head appeared below them.

"Everything's sideways!" he announced. "I think I'm standing on a control panel. And a lot of stuff's broken and tossed around and everything."

"Any signs of life?"

"Nope. But there's this weird slimy clear goo all over the place."

"Don't touch it! It could be toxic."

"Great, _now_ you tell me? I'm coated in this stuff!"

"Honestly, Cole!" Jay slid down to crouch in the airlock, peering into the main chamber and tilting his camera about. "Don't you know the first thing about exploring alien constructs? You don't know what any of this stuff could be, so you don't touch it!"

"Ugh. Well, if I grow an extra head, I guess we'll know why." Cole scraped slime from his arms ruefully and poked a toe at a pile of mangled electrical components. Then he stiffened. "Holy—there's something under here!"

Before anyone could react, he was fervently digging aside the jagged chunks of metal. The others all crowded down into the airlock, leaning over the entryway and watching eagerly. Finally Cole pulled aside one last sheet of metal, and his target was revealed: a small, transparent-blue lump of a creature. It didn't move. Two dark bulges by the top, each covered by a cloudy membrane, seemed to indicate closed eyes.

Silence; nobody even dared ask if it was alive. Cole knelt carefully down among the wreckage and stretched out a hand to the puppy-sized alien, hesitating as if it would burn his skin.

"It's warm," he said amazedly, his voice hushed. "I . . . I think it's alive!"

As if on cue, the lump of blue shuddered, the movement traveling in ripples along its surface. Gently Cole scooped his hands underneath the creature, lifting it slowly. As it came away from the floor, trails of slime seemed to drag up behind it—then these trails of slime turned out to be tentacles, six stubby ones. They sprouted from one end of the creature's oblong body, dangling limply.

"It resembles a cuttlefish," said Zane, fascination clear in his voice. "But I do not think cuttlefish are semi-transparent . . . "

"Let me hold it, let me!" Lloyd sounded like he was about to climb out of himself with barely contained excitement. He reached down, and Cole carefully handed the alien up to him.

"It _is_ warm," said Lloyd wonderingly, cradling the little creature in his arms. "And squishy. Like a plastic bag full of water."

"There's another one!" cried Cole meanwhile, and began to dig again. Abruptly there was an earsplitting squeal, and the second lump of gelatinous blue leaped up entirely on its own power. Cole gave a startled yelp and fell backwards; meanwhile the alien darted up through the air like a fish through water, plunging into the airlock and circling the others with furious shrieks.

"They can fly?!" cried Kai, as the alien caught sight of Lloyd and made a beeline for him. Still spewing a flurry of angry peeps and yowls, the alien began to drag at Lloyd's arms with its tentacles, trying to pry its unconscious fellow out of the green ninja's hold.

"Put him down, Lloyd, he thinks you're hurting him!" said Jay. Looking a little dazed, Lloyd carefully set the alien down and backed away, spreading his hands placatingly. Ignoring him, the conscious alien began to fuss over the unconscious one, giving soft warbles and hovering around the motionless form like an anxious nurse.

"Unbelievable," whispered Jay. "Aliens. We're witnessing real live aliens."

For a moment they watched. Cole, unable to see much from his position down in the main body of the ship, ran another check of the wreckage to make sure he hadn't missed any other crewmembers.

"The unconscious one," said Zane suddenly. "It's hurt. Look, one tentacle is much shorter than the others, and it's oozing clear fluid."

"C-clear fluid?" Cole looked up. "Like . . . slimy fluid?"

Zane nodded. Cole's eyes flew open wide. He stared around the control room, his breath catching, and for a moment the others were sure he was going to throw up.

"Get me out of here," he said at last, his voice deceptively calm. Jay and Kai reached down to grab his hands and pull him up into the airlock, where he sat down, still looking shellshocked. Almost compulsively he scraped at the slime—alien blood—still clinging to his clothes. He really was coated with it.

"Are you okay?" ventured Kai.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Cole lowered his head, trying to suppress a shudder. "Just . . . there was a lot of it. A _lot._ "

Jay put a hand on Cole's back. The others sat in heavy silence, watching the two found aliens—apparently the only survivors of a much larger crew. It was a glum moment.

"At least _they're_ still alive," said Lloyd weakly at last.

"But will they stay that way?" asked Jay, eyeing the still-unconscious first alien.

A few minutes later, the injured alien again gave a shudder. Its friend squealed eagerly, prodding at its side, and slowly the cloudy eyelids slid back, revealing two squidlike eyes just like the other's. Blinking drowsily, it gave a faint, woozy call, something like a throaty " _mop!_ " The other alien dissolved into excited burbles, urging the convalescent back into consciousness. Cautiously Lloyd slid closer to the two.

"It might be best not to disturb them," said Zane, but Lloyd paid him no mind. Gently he reached out and stroked the injured alien between the eyes, running his hand down its back. The more excitable of the two, seeing this seemed to be helping the patient awaken, made no move to stop him. Rather it flopped down wearily, exhausted after its bout of panic, and gave Lloyd a trusting look.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Kai at last.

"Isn't it obvious?" said Jay. "We've got to get these little guys back home and heal up the injured one."

"Take them home?! Are you _crazy?_ " Kai gave him a look of disbelief. "They're _aliens!_ We don't know anything about them! They could be evil."

"Ohhh, of course." Jay scooped up the uninjured alien and held it out to Kai. "Look how terrifying it is. Look at those cruel teeth, those evil eyes. Does this look like the face of mercy?!"

"Meep," said the alien meekly, dangling in Jay's grip. Lloyd gave a strangled snort.

"Oh sure, laugh it up," growled Kai. "You won't find it so funny when they try to suck out your eyeballs or something."

"If they had plans to hurt us, they'd probably have done it already," said Lloyd, still petting the injured alien—which seemed more than happy with the attention. "They seem pretty harmless. And we can't just leave them here!"

"I never said we shouldn't _help_ them," said Kai, fed up. "But we can't just be all, 'oh, cute innocent aliens!' and take them home like goldfish. We can't let down our guard; we have to remember what we're dealing with here!"

"You're a jerk," said Lloyd bitterly.

"It's _called_ being a realist!"

"Well then, realists are jerks."

"Listen, if you want to be a naïve—"

"That's enough!" Cole raised a hand wearily for silence. He sighed, folding his arms to resist the urge to scrape at his clothes. "You're both partly right. We do have to help these guys, it's only decent after all they've been through. Besides, let's not make this into one of those lame-o sci-fi movies where the aliens start with good intentions and turn evil after some paranoid human dorks hurt them."

Kai bristled at being implicitly filed under the category "paranoid human dorks." Lloyd stifled another snicker.

"At the same time, we _do_ have to be careful," continued Cole. "We don't know what they wanted with Earth, or _if_ they even wanted to come to Earth; we don't know what they eat, or if they have poisons or weird alien germs or anything. We can take them home to care for them, but I'm going to expect extreme caution. Quarantine for both of them for now. No getting buddy-buddy with them just yet, no discussing sensitive information in front of them, no interacting with them unless it's absolutely necessary. And Jay, for the love of Pete, stop trying to _cuddle_ it."

"I'm not!" retorted Jay. "I'm just holding the thing. Can I help it if it likes me?"

The little alien was indeed nuzzling into Jay's arms with soft, tired noises of contentment.

"It does like you," said Kai sourly. "It probably senses you're the best target to have your guts liquified and drawn out through a straw."

Jay rolled his eyes and made an exaggerated sucking, slurping noise. "Yummy!"

Cole surprised the others by laughing wearily.

"Yep, just like that, Zaptrap. Come on, let's get going."

One by one they clambered out of the airlock. Kai was looking sullen, but he still gave Lloyd a hand up so he could climb out without jostling the injured alien he held.

"Y'know, we've gotta name these guys!" said Jay, waiting his turn.

"No names," Cole called from outside. "No getting buddy-buddy."

"But we have to call 'em by _something_ ," retorted Jay. "It's too much of a mouthful to say 'the hurt alien' and 'the not-hurt alien.' Practical measures!" Before Cole could object further, Jay held up the uninjured alien. "This one shall be Meep! And Lloyd, yours shall be Mopp."


	3. It's Life, Jim, But Not as We Know It

**Wow, such a positive response to the aliens' names! Phew, I was worried about that. We're gonna be stuck with those names for a bit. :P**

 **Thank you to all guest reviewers! I'm afraid I'll have to toss replies to "Guest"s randomly into the air and hope you each catch the one belonging to you . . .**

 **Guest 1: Thanks! Staying in-character is one of the parts I try hardest to get right, but also the one I'm never quite sure if I've achieved. So that's good to hear! :)**

 **Guest 2: Cole's a maverick. I keep trying to work in his Season 4 personality, at least some hints of his oversized appetite or something, but he keeps refusing. Being responsible-leader-dude just suits him too well . . .**

 **Guest 3: Eh, yeah; definitely not his day. I guess if it was hot enough to burn him he'd have felt the heat coming off it at a distance? Hopefully, anyway . . .**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Ohh, hi there! Nice to see you again. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sept. 2**

 **10:22 AM**

* * *

They made it back to the _Bounty_ without incident. There it turned out that Nya had no concern for intergalactic safety protocols; the first thing she did was scoop Mopp out of Lloyd's arms and start fussing over his injury. Sweeping aside the litter of electronics on her worktable (she'd been upgrading the _Bounty's_ security system), she set Mopp in its place and fetched a first-aid kit.

"Alien germs . . . " said Cole helplessly as Nya began dabbing a cloth at the still-oozing wound where Mopp's tentacle had been severed.

"I'll wash my hands," said Nya dismissively, digging out a roll of gauze and tearing off a strip with her teeth. "Jay, could you hold him still please?"

Mopp struggled feebly, squealing, and Meep nearly had a heart attack all over again. Lloyd clutched at him to keep him out of the way, while Cole spread his hands and resigned himself to the prevalence of close-contact alien wrestling, at least for now. Then he went to change his clothes and shower—because speaking of alien germs, he was still coated in them himself.

"There you go, all better!" said Nya, tying off the bandages and wiping her forehead. "Hang tight little guy."

"Are you sure the bandages will work?" asked Lloyd. "Their blood just seems to be . . . water."

"I did what I could," said Nya, sighing. She studied the damp cloth she had been using to swab Mopp's wound. "I'll have to run some tests on this, see what's in there besides water."

"What do you intend to feed them?" asked Sensei Wu.

An anxious silence fell. These aliens were going to die a pretty miserable death pretty soon if they couldn't handle Earth food.

"They do not have mouths," said Zane quietly, pointing.

"Isn't it just hidden behind the tentacles?" Nya rolled Mopp gently onto his back and searched, but there was nothing that could be called a mouth anywhere to be found. Lloyd tickled Meep between the eyes until the little alien whistled in protest, but the sound seemed to come from somewhere deep inside the alien's body.

"They do not have any internal organs, either," said Zane in amazement, studying Mopp's semi-transparant form. "There is no stomach."

"And no brain!" said Jay. "How are they moving around and acting all intelligent and stuff?"

"This is truly fascinating," said Zane. "They must function in a manner very different from Earth creatures. I imagine they will cause an enormous stir in the scientific world."

"Wh—what?! No!" Lloyd looked up in dismay. "We can't just give them up to be dissected or something!"

"They won't dissect them," assured Nya. "Just run some tests on them. Think how excited everyone will be to hear that real live aliens have landed in Ninjago! The public wouldn't stand to let them get hurt."

" _Wouldn't_ they," said Kai, his expression suddenly darkening. "What if the public panicked? What if they wanted them killed?"

"What if they wanted to make a circus attraction out of them?" added Jay soberly.

"Or what if they found out which planet the aliens came from and tried to go there themselves, upsetting the balance of the aliens' ecosystem?" agreed Zane.

Another heavy silence.

"We've gotta keep them a secret," said Lloyd flatly. "At least until we know what they're here for."

Affirmations all around.

"I'll try to come up with something to throw the Metalonia skytrackers off the trail," said Nya.

Meanwhile Meep had calmed down a bit and clambered out of Lloyd's arms to join Mopp on the worktable. He studied the dressing on Mopp's injured limb, seemingly understanding what it meant, and nuzzled against his injured friend comfortingly. Mopp hummed tiredly, his gaze shifting to the humans nearby. The two aliens began to discuss—it was eerie how recognizable it was as conversation, even though it consisted entirely of alien chirps and whistles and semi-electronic noises.

"What do you think they're saying?" asked Jay.

Nya shook her head, going to the bathroom next door to wash her hands as promised. The minute the sound of running water started, Meep suddenly broke off from the babbled conversation and sprang into the air, looking around eagerly. Within seconds he was at the sink, pushing himself between a startled Nya's hands and letting the tapwater flow over him. From the worktable Mopp gave an eager warble and flopped about, clearly trying to take off too. When that didn't work, he began dragging himself towards the edge of the table. Meep leaped back to his side and began clumsily trying to lift him.

"He can't fly!" said Lloyd, darting to catch Mopp just before he tumbled to the floor. "How does that work? He's only hurt one leg . . . "

"Maybe he's weak from blood loss, or maybe something else got hurt too. Something we can't see," said Nya thoughtfully. Her hands were dripping water on the floor, but she didn't even notice. "Bring him over here, Lloyd, I think he wants water."

Lloyd stepped over and plopped Mopp gently into the sink, turning the tap on. The alien gave what could only be described as a delighted wail and rolled over, closing his eyes in bliss.

"Maybe they're water creatures," said Jay with interest.

"Do you suppose _that's_ what they eat? . . . " said Zane slowly. "They seem to become very energetic in the presence of water. And since their bodies seem to largely consist of it, perhaps it is all they need for sustenance; they could absorb it through their skins, which would explain why they do not need mouths or stomachs."

"Living on water?" Kai looked skeptical. "Doesn't really seem all that nutritious."

"Hey, why not? These are aliens we're talking about!" Jay was in no mood for skepticism. "Even in our world, we have plants that live on sunshine and water, or animals that live on chemicals spewing from deep-sea vents. If they come from a whole 'nother _planet_ , they could pretty much live on anything!"

By now Cole had returned from showering, looking relieved. He blinked at the sight of the two aliens cramming themselves into the sink.

"That's quarantine, huh?" he said.

"Ah, we couldn't keep them quarantined anyhow," scoffed Jay. "It's not like we could put them in a pen or anything, Meep can fly!"

"Well, we can put them in a room," said Cole, adamant. "At least for a while. I doubt they know what locks are, they won't be offended."

"Awwww, come on! First contact with alien life forms, let's lock them in a room!" Jay folded his arms. "You're wrecking the script of every sci-fi movie ever."

"Thank goodness, too," retorted Cole.

In the end "Team Quarantine" won. There was a small spare room in the _Bounty_ , usually filled with boxes and old training equipment and various knickknacks and paddy-whacks. They could go a few days without having to go in there, so it would do as a quarantine chamber.

"Oh wow," sighed Nya, standing in the spare room's doorway and looking around in dismay. The crash last night had made a pretty big mess all over the ship, tossing around everything that wasn't tied down, but the spare room was a _disaster_. Stacks of crates lay toppled every which way, spewing their contents; the floor was littered with wooden practice swords and tangled Christmas lights and old comic books and spare bedsheets and a broken vacuum cleaner and a collection of birds' nests. And that was just for starters.

"Well, they won't be bored in here," said Jay gamely. "Hey, they'll get a chance to learn lots about Earth culture!"

"Great. I hate to think what kind of message they'd send home after seeing _this_ ," groaned Nya.

"E.T. phone home; humans are slobs," offered Kai, chuckling.

"Awww, come on. I don't think any intergalactic treaties are going to be called off because of the quality of our housekeeping," said Jay, picking his way through the mess. "Besides, we'll clean it up soon."

"Whatever you say . . . " Cole looked around the room, his gaze falling on a large wooden washtub leaning against one wall. "Hey, how about that thing? We could fill that up for them to swim around in."

"Now you're talking," said Jay approvingly.

They filled the tub with a few buckets of water, which Mopp seemed very pleased about, and left the aliens in peace. Everyone tried to go about their business, cleaning up the mess and assessing the damage left after last night's crash, but it was like trying to do housework while pink unicorns danced outside your windows. Not really the most productive use of your time.

"What's the state of the _Bounty?_ " asked Kai.

"Both primary thrusters have some damage, and the main engine is completely shot," said Nya. "The hull is also pretty badly broken in places, and I'll probably have to strip some of it off anyhow to access the engine. We're gonna be here for more than a week at the very least."

"What about patrolling?" asked Lloyd. "What if there's an emergency?"

"Well, the communications systems are still working," said Nya. "If we get a report of trouble, you guys can head over on your elemental dragons."

"And we can probably do the regular patrol circuit on those too," added Cole.

There followed a long spell of haggling and headaching. Usually the _Bounty_ performed regular patrols of Ninjago in a "cloverleaf" pattern: they would start at New Ninjago City, circle to Ninjago's west coast and back to the city, then they would loop from the city to the northwest, then through the north, and so on. The frequent returns to New Ninjago City were necessary; there was always the most crime and drama to be taken care of there, especially lately. There had been a rash of cell phone and electronics thefts.

With the _Bounty_ out of commission, however, they would have to send one person to the city each day, and another person to perform one of the "loops." To make it fair, they had to figure out how to stagger the two kinds of patrol so each ninja got an equal amount of responsibility—and so nobody wound up patrolling on the day it was his turn to cook dinner.

* * *

After dinner, Jay subtly drifted down the hall and approached the door of the spare room. Zane was already there, fiddling with the lock. He jumped when Jay stepped up next to him.

"They're under quarantine, you know," said Jay soberly. They looked at each other for a moment. Then Jay smirked. Zane shrugged back, smiling, and they slipped into the room.

"Hi," grinned Nya, looking up from the washtub. Mopp popped out of the water with a curious " _choooo?_ " sound, and Meep warbled contentedly from inside a box of knickknacks.

"Quarantine violation. Ohhh, for shame," said Jay, laying the back of his hand on his forehead dramatically.

"Oh hush, you," retorted Nya, amused. "At least _I_ have a legitimate medical excuse—I have to check the dressing on his wound."

"With a chew toy?" said Jay, settling down next to her and raising his eyebrows at the little rubber mouse she'd been dangling for Mopp to play with. She whapped his arm with it jokingly. While Zane scrutinized Mopp, Meep suddenly bounded over to pounce on Jay's head and cling to it like a gelatinous aviator cap.

" _Meee!_ " he declared. Jay recovered from his surprise and gently pushed one of Meep's tentacles away from his eye.

"I could see this becoming a fashion statement," he joked, while Zane and Nya laughed.

"Mopp seems to be in better health now," remarked Zane, lightly scratching the injured alien's back. "The water really does have a salubrious effect upon them."

"There's so much we don't know . . . " sighed Nya. "It's exciting, but . . . almost kinda scary."

"Speaking of scary," said Jay, glancing over his shoulder to the doorway.

"I _thought_ I heard talking in here," said Kai grumpily. "This is supposed to be a quarantine zone!"

"I had to check his bandages," retorted Nya. "You wouldn't have him get infected, would you?"

Kai shook his head unhappily and stepped into the room too.

"I'm not leaving you alone in here with those things." He looked at Jay, noticed the new "headgear," and chuckled in spite of himself. "Ahh. So they're sucking your brains out already?"

"Totally. It really clears your mind," Jay shot back, earning another resigned laugh from the fire ninja.

Despite his suspicions, Kai had to smile as he watched Meep and Mopp warbling earnestly at each other, Meep still fastened atop Jay's head. Nya smiled too, shaking her head at Kai. He might be mistrustful when it came to new or unusual things, but she knew it only stemmed from his desire to protect his family. He couldn't stand the thought of anything hurting his sister or brothers, and it made him wary—maybe a little overly wary—of anything that he couldn't fully trust. But once he warmed up to someone, that devoted protection would extend to them too. And she felt sure her brother would soon be warming up to their little houseguests. Who wouldn't?

"Woah, am I late for the party?" came a voice from the door. Lloyd stood halfway into the room, fighting a smile.

"Quick, close it!" hissed Jay, gesturing. Lloyd chuckled and joined them.

"Nobody's left except Cole and Uncle Wu. Maybe I should just get them too?"

"You know Cole. He'd probably have our heads," said Jay. By now Mopp and Meep had stopped conversing, and Mopp was looking earnestly up at Jay.

" _Woooo,_ " warbled the little alien earnestly. " _Weep weep. Wurra._ "

"Aww, he's trying to tell you something," cooed Nya.

" _Churrawee!_ " insisted Mopp, waving two tentacles about like arms. Jay laughed and petted him ruefully.

"Sorry little guy, I didn't quite catch that."

Mopp looked around, frustrated, and tried warbling more loudly to Kai instead.

"Shhhh!" warned Nya.

Finding that none of the humans had the right answer to _"weep weep!_ ", the aliens soon got distracted and went back to playing. Mopp batted eagerly at the toy mouse, while Meep clambered off Jay and began trying to steal it.

"You know, we don't actually know that they're both boys," remarked Lloyd. "How do we know they're not mates or something?"

"Oh, I think they're siblings. Both male," said Nya drily, as Mopp dragged Meep underwater and attempted to wrestle him to the bottom of the washtub. Meep went easy on him, avoiding the injured leg.

"It's possible Meep might be a female," offered Zane. "He or she seems to be slightly larger than Mopp, and within the octopuses it is the female who is larger."

"Could just be a little older, or better-fed," shrugged Nya. "What do you think, Jay?"

"I think the hedge needs trimming."

They didn't have hedges on the _Destiny's Bounty_ , of course. He meant Lloyd. It had recently come to light that the junior U.S.M. had not once had his hair cut since that incident with the Tomorrow's Tea—and what was worse, he didn't seem at all keen on getting it cut now, either.

It was getting out of hand. First his mom had started making hints, then Sensei Wu, and now even his teammates were nagging, ragging, and otherwise poking him about cutting back a little on the renegade mop he called his hair. Despite warnings that it was going to get in his eyes during a battle one of these days, nobody was making any progress.

Presently the door creaked—everyone turned around, anxious—and Cole slipped quietly into the room. He was looking over his shoulder, seemingly intent on getting in without being noticed from the hallway. When he finally did turn around, he jumped at the sight of everyone else already gathered around the washtub. For a moment he stared.

"Oh," he said at last, then looked sheepish as the others burst out laughing.

"Busted!" sang Jay.

"Hey, I just figured I'd find at least one of _you_ here. I was coming to kick you out," said Cole, but gave an embarrassed smile and came over to join the group.

" _Wurrrrrrrrble!_ " Mopp clung to the edge of the tub and looked Cole in the eye. " _Garrick!_ "

"Geez. Quarantine schmorantine," sighed Cole, gingerly petting the insistent little creature. "It's not going to work, is it?"

" _Weep weep!_ " Mopp resumed his efforts at communication. " _Weep weep!_ "

"Guess not," grinned Lloyd, then backed off slightly as Mopp began to splash around. "Wow. He really wants to get his point across, doesn't he?"

"And it's probably important," said Nya. "I'm no expert, but when someone from another planet starts trying to tell you things, it's probably not about the weather."

"My mom's good with ancient languages," said Lloyd. "And she can keep a secret. Maybe she could figure out their language?"

"And we could probably trust Dr. Borg too," added Cole. "Maybe he'll take the aliens in."

"Take them in?!" Several startled glances turned his way.

"Well . . . yeah. We're not about to keep these guys forever, are we?"

"Why not?!"

"Well . . . they're . . . they're freaking aliens, geez. We can't just make them our pets—"

"Why not?!" came the indignant cry again.

"We can have pets!" Jay started in. "We used to have a ginormous dragon as a pet, in the middle of the _city!_ And ever since then you've never let us have any pets at all."

"When did I ever say we couldn't?" demanded Cole.

"Remember that nest of Bala lizards you made us send to the animal shelter?"

"Oh come on, we had no clue how to care for them anyway! The shelter could do a better job raising them like a mother lizard would."

"And that baby Kragling you wouldn't let me keep?" said Lloyd. Cole gave him a look.

" . . . It was a baby _Kragling._ "

"Yeah. It was." Lloyd shook his head wistfully—although the others tacitly took Cole's side on that particular adventure. Baby Kraglings didn't stay baby for long.

"Look." Cole dragged a hand down his face. "We're getting off track here. The point isn't that we can't have pets—the point is that we can't have _these_ aliens as pets. It wouldn't be cool if they tried to treat _us_ like pets, would it?"

"Well then, they can be guests," said Nya staunchly. "Why would we just throw them out like that?"

Cole looked around at the others for a long moment. Meep and Mopp kept up a steady chorus of " _Weep weep! Weep weep!_ "s all throughout, addressing each member of the party in turn.

"All right," said Cole at last. "We'll let them stay for now."

"Oh, come on!" protested Kai, at the same moment that Jay and Lloyd whooped "Yes!" and high-fived.

"But we still should tell Dr. Borg!" added Cole. "Science stuff."

"Fine, fine, whatever you say." Jay lifted Meep into the air exultantly. "You're gonna stay, guys!"

" _Weep weep weep!_ " howled Mopp, slapping the water with all six tentacles and sending a sheet of water over Cole.

* * *

 **Household demonstration, for the curious: Fill a Ziploc bag with water and seal it, and you'll have a rough idea of what holding an alien feels like. Use a gallon bag and you'll have an idea of the size and weight of one, too. If you use warm water, you'll get an even closer approximation. Add a little cornstarch or something to make the water about as runny as glue, and by then I deny responsibility if it squeals and tries to fly away. :P**


	4. Don't Feed the Trolls

**Thanks for all the support so far, you guys!**

 **Woah. Guest 1 and Guest 2, you both sound really familiar. And you review within minutes of each other, you both name seasons using the s# system, and you both have a thing for question marks. Are you sure you're not the same person? :P**

 **Well, let's try answering all the "Guest" questions in one stew this time!**

 **Leader-Cole is nice, but I did get used to the "goofier" Cole too, and it was great how they showed off his big-hearted side in Season 4. I actually haven't seen too many fics about Cole having a big appetite** — **except for cake** — **and I felt like it'd be nice to stick to canon. We'll see, I guess.**

 **Well, Cole and Kai are the two oldest by my headcanon (Zane's age is currently undefined, what with the rebuild), so I guess they kind of are parents, a little bit. And they're both very protective types.**

 **Nah, there won't be any alien name-changes in the future; I just meant that this is going to be a long story.**

 **Oh, Cole's hair is decidedly long! But I'm sure he cuts it regularly to keep it at a safe and reasonable length. Lloyd, not so much. XP**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Glad you're finding the aliens cute! :)**

* * *

 **Sept. 3**

 **7:30 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

The next morning, Jay heaved himself into wakefulness with the alarm, yawned luxuriously, and dragged his eyelids open, only to find a weight on his chest and a pair of dark mollusk eyes gazing into his own.

" _Weep weep!_ "

"Yagh!" Jay snapped upright, sending Meep tumbling to the foot of his bed. The little alien gave an indignant squawk, then boinged into the air, affronted, and went to circle Zane instead.

"You could've given me a warning or something!" Jay said to the others, who seemed to find his wake-up call amusing. He eyed the hyperactive alien with a measure of trepidation. "He wasn't trying anything funny, was he?"

"Just sitting there staring," shrugged Cole. "Looking down your throat now and then."

"Well, as long as he keeps his various limbs to himself," muttered Jay, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. "Where's Mopp, still in the tub?"

They went to check, and found that Mopp was indeed still swimming around in his little pool, looking somewhat forlorn. He and Meep greeted each other joyously, then began struggling jointly to get Mopp out of the washtub.

"Poor little guy," sighed Nya. "He must miss flying."

"Well, for now I can at least give him a lift," said Lloyd. He scooped Mopp into his arms, ignoring the water dripping down the front of his pajama shirt.

At breakfast, Nya filled them in on the situation.

"I've called Misako and Dr. Borg," she said. "Misako's on her way here already, and Dr. Borg wants to see you today; bring the footage you took while exploring the crash site. He says not to move the alien ship for now, but it's okay if we look at it. I think I'll take him up on that, actually—I've got to see this alien technology for myself."

Kai grimaced into his cereal, but said nothing. He knew better than to try to dissuade his sister when she set her mind to something. He'd have offered to go with her, but he had one of the patrols today, and after yesterday's scheduling tarantella he didn't dare ask for a transfer.

"I can take her. I wanted to get another look at that ship anyway," said Jay, which seemed to mollify Kai a little. Between Jay and aliens he trusted Jay marginally more.

After breakfast, Kai and Lloyd left for their respective patrols, Zane and Cole went to train, and Jay and Nya headed out for the crashed ship. They had to lock Meep and Mopp in the spare room first, since Meep kept trying to follow them and Mopp was dismayed at the thought of being left alone again.

Nya rode behind Jay on his elemental dragon, both of them weighed down with backpacks full of equipment. A sort of anticipatory silence set in. Occasionally Jay would glance over his shoulder, smiling if he happened to catch Nya's eye, but easy conversation seemed an impossibility.

As of late, Jay (to put it rather indelicately) had lost his religion. For so long Nya had been a blinding light in his world, the sun perpetually rising for the world's most devoted sun-worshipper. He had been content to adore her from a respectful distance, never making any concrete moves towards her, but basking in those moments she chose to smile upon him.

The fiasco between him, her, and Cole, however, had shattered his innocence. Seeing her tangled up in the argument, unable to make a choice, forced him to realize that she was _fallible._ She could be confused, even manipulative. She could play him, betray him, disappoint him at will.

And with that realization, with its accompanying heartbreak, the goddess toppled from her pedestal. Now she was just a girl; a smart, strong, comparatively beautiful girl, but a girl. Mere mortal.

Honestly he didn't know how to deal with it.

They said almost nothing till they got to the crashed ship, and then the conversation supplied itself as Jay explained about their first visit and the alien blood and everything else. Nya avoided actually entering the ship, but she observed its design thoroughly from the airlock.

"So many aliens," she murmured. Jay nodded soberly. Still, the awe of looking at something that came from a whole other _planet_ , never-before seen by human eyes, was far from wearing off.

After they had studied all they could and taken pictures, they headed back home again.

"I think I could get some very useful ideas from all this," said Nya, examining a quick sketch she'd made of a control panel. "Maybe I could modify it to improve the _Bounty's_ security system; I'm hoping to overhaul it completely."

"Sounds like a pretty big project," ventured Jay.

"Yeah, it is." Nya frowned for a moment, her notes fluttering in the breeze of the dragon's flight. "It could take a while."

Jay hesitated.

"You want a hand with it?" he said at last. "You know, we've never built or fixed anything together. I bet we could learn a lot from each other."

He didn't dare look back, but he could feel Nya's surprised glance on the back of his neck. There was a long pause.

"Yeah. I'd love that," she finally said, a smile in her voice.

Jay smiled back quickly over his shoulder, then faced forwards again, beaming. Hey, why not? Considering that they were both so apt with machines, it really was surprising they'd never tinkered on anything together. But tinkering wasn't romantic; besides, he'd have been too distracted by Nya's mere presence to so much as tighten a lug nut.

But now, he found he liked the thought of it. They might not be dating anymore, but working together on a project, as friends—it actually sounded pretty great. Maybe this could be the start of something new.

* * *

They arrived back at the _Bounty_ and checked on the aliens. Mopp was swimming around in his washtub again; Meep was tangled up in a string of Christmas lights.

" _Weep weep!_ " they both hollered the minute they saw the humans entering.

"That's their new favorite phrase," chuckled Jay. "Wonder what it means?"

"They seem awfully insistent about it," sighed Nya, crouching down to rub Mopp's head. "Imagine, they came all the way from outer space with a message for us, and we can't even understand it! I hope Misako can figure something out."

" _Allaloo!_ " warbled Mopp, leaning into Nya's petting. Jay went over to disentangle Meep from the Christmas lights.

"That's not what they're for, little guy," he smiled. "Here, watch this."

Meep gave a squeal of amazement as Jay plugged the string into a wall socket and a blaze of colorful light sprang forth. Mopp warbled, clinging to the edge of the washtub, and reached out longingly. Nya scooped the alien out of the water and set him down by the lightstring, and for a while she and Jay watched their intergalactic guests marveling over the glowing baubles.

Eventually they got up to leave. Seeing this, Mopp gave a wail and began to thrash his tentacles about. Nya put him back in the tub, but this didn't satisfy him either; he seemed eager to leave the room entirely. Meep, too, was intent on following the humans wherever they were going.

"Wellllllllll," said Nya slowly, looking at Jay. "They're not in quarantine anymore anyway, right?"

"Not really," agreed Jay, and plucked Mopp out of the tub again. Cole and Kai might complain a bit, but the chance to spend some downtime with aliens was just too cool to pass up.

* * *

New Ninjago City was a dirty place. Sure, it looked all glimmery and hygienic from the surface, but really get down into those alleyways and you'd feel like you'd never get the grime outta your system.

Kai didn't mind. He'd long ago accepted the grit as a part of life, like you stop noticing the chipped plaster in your own hallway. He crouched at the edge of a four-story building's roof, squinting down into the alley below. Silence was of the essence . . .

Finally his target appeared. Two figures emerged from a door far below, carrying a crate between them. One was a human, the other a Serpentine—Hypnobrai. They set the crate down on a waiting trolley, already groaning under several other large containers, then went back inside.

Kai sighed and flopped onto his stomach. He didn't know why he was even watching these guys; in all likelihood they were two perfectly normal workmen transporting goods.

But he had an itch to do _something._ For months New Ninjago City had been plagued by a wave of cell phone thefts—and lately it had gotten even worse. Now all _kinds_ of electronic devices were being stolen. It was weird: the thieves would steal a purse, take the phone inside it, then leave it behind with all the money and credit cards still in it. Same for housebreaking: they'd leave money and jewelry lying in plain sight, but make off with the most thoroughly hidden electronic devices.

Even worse, neither the police nor the ninja could find a single lead. There were rumors drifting around that it was some kind of gigantic organized ring calling itself the Technicians, but not a single person could be fingered in connection to it. People were getting antsy, and so were the ninja.

Which is why Kai was sprawled out here now, hoping that these random people who gave him a vaguely suspicious feeling were in fact involved with the ring.

The man and Hypnobrai stumbled out again, carrying a final crate. There was no more room on the trolley, so they closed the door and started to pull their load down the alleyway. As soon as the trolley moved, its wheels squeaked.

"Stoppit! Oil the damn undercarriage!" hissed the man, looking around frantically. Kai felt a smirk spread across his face. _Jackpot_. No way would two law-abiding workmen worry about squeaky wheels.

Meanwhile the Hypnobrai snapped something back, but grudgingly went over the wheels with a tiny canister. They set off again more quietly, and Kai followed, slipping from rooftop to rooftop.

It was a long trail. The two workmen seemed to have an intimate knowledge of Ninjago City's back alleyways. As they went into older districts of the city, populated by jumbled townhouses with slippery shingled roofs, it got harder and harder for Kai to keep level with them. Still, he kept pace doggedly, his suspicion growing by the moment.

Finally they approached the outer fringes of New Ninjago City, filled with businesses and factories. The two trolley-conductors walked into a sort of tunnel built through an embankment, leading to the city's heaviest industrial district. Knowing it would be impossible to remain hidden if he followed into the tunnel, Kai scrambled hastily over the embankment, hoping he could see where his targets went once they exited at the other end.

They never did.

After waiting for an agonizingly long time, Kai growled and slid down to ground level, marching right to the tunnel's entrance. He took only a second to brace before stepping up and peering down its length.

It was empty.

He ventured inside; it was basically just a long, slightly drippy, concrete-floored corridor lit by creepy yellow streetlamp bulbs. His footsteps echoed incredibly as he walked past a series of doors. More than twenty businesses had basement doors that opened into this tunnel, some of them unlabeled, some sloppily stenciled with names like "Winselhoffer's Quality Linens" or "Snow Dragon Ice Cream." Probably these had been popular employee exits, back before a glass factory had been built over the nearby parking lot.

Kai smacked one fist against the wall in wordless frustration. The trolley could have been taken into any of these doors. The trail was cold.

"Kai?"

The ninja in question nearly had a heart attack on the spot, but the only resulting sound was the soft _shnk!_ of his sword springing out to press against the intruder's throat.

" _It's me it's me it's me!_ " Lloyd, to his credit, kept his voice down. Kai blinked, registering, then drew back his weapon and shook his head angrily.

"It's not like I was sneaking up on you!" retorted Lloyd, one hand still reflexively clasped around his dagger hilt. "This place echoes so much you can't tell two footsteps from one."

Kai sighed and relented.

"Hands clear," he whispered gruffly, tapping the flat of his blade against Lloyd's knife hand. "Next time I might see you grabbing the weapon before I see _you_."

Lloyd gave a terse nod. Lesson number four hundred and . . . ehh, he'd lost count somewhere back there. Ninjas had a lot to learn. Strictly speaking Kai should have been more aware of his surroundings too, but the fire ninja already knew that and Lloyd was nice enough not to rub it in.

"So what are you doing here?" asked Kai, sheathing his blade.

"Looking for you. We're supposed to meet Dr. Borg, remember?" Already recovered from his scare, Lloyd chuckled. "I break off in the middle of my patrol and go looking all over the city for you, and this is the thanks I get?"

"Just be glad I didn't attack your hair," grumbled Kai, trying not to let the entire disappointing situation get under his skin. "There's enough of it I might have mistaken you for a short Yeti."

Lloyd laughed, unruffled.

"C'mon, let's get going. We're already late."

* * *

Jay and Nya spent some time tidying up the workroom (which, a little awkwardly, was also Nya's bedroom. Space on the _Bounty_ was limited.) Technically they were supposed to get to work fixing the ship, but Nya was too excited about her current project to resist showing Jay some of the changes she hoped to make to the _Bounty's_ security cameras. Then they got caught up in that and completely forgot they were supposed to be repairing the ship's battered rocket boosters.

Meanwhile, Meep floated around the room and fiddled with everything he could get his tentacles on, and Mopp lay comfortably on the worktable and observed everyone with a knowing look. Occasionally the two humans would stop what they were doing and watch the aliens; occasionally the two aliens would stop what they were doing and holler " _Weep weep!_ " or some other astute observation to the humans.

Things went peacefully until mid-afternoon. Then Cole poked his head into the room.

"Hey guys, a call's coming in from Kai and Lloyd," he said. "They still have to do the rest of their patrols, but they've finished talking to Dr. Borg and want to fill us in first."

"Mmhm, 'kay," said Nya, barely glancing up. She had both her hands buried in the innards of a security console, a half-dozen tiny screws clamped in her mouth as she tried to install some circuit boards. "You guysh brief me later, a'ight?"

"Sure," Cole laughed. He looked to Jay. "You coming, then?"

"Well, okay," said Jay, just a little reluctant to leave. As technical as all this had been, he'd really been enjoying it.

As Jay headed for the door, Meep boinged over to follow him, and Mopp began to squirm and protest again.

"Hey, I'm just going down the hall!" said Jay, but the aliens would have none of it. At last Jay sighed and picked Mopp up again, joining Cole out in the hallway.

"They like ya, huh?" said Cole.

"And not me. I think I'm insulted!" Nya called jokingly from inside the workroom. Jay rolled his eyes good-naturedly and deposited Mopp in Cole's arms.

"You take 'im. I'm starting to wonder if quarantine was such a bad idea after all."

Cole chuckled, although he looked a little squeamish. Evidently the control room in that crashed ship had left him with some traumas. As they headed down the hall, he looked back to the workroom door, then turned to Jay and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Jay made a "you stay out of it" face in reply. He did _not_ feel like discussing his shifting relationship outlook with anyone, much less Cole.

They stepped into the bridge to find Zane and Sensei Wu already there, trading small talk with Kai. The video screen was on, but there was no picture; apparently Kai was calling from his communicator. The connection rustled his voice slightly.

"About time you guys got here!" he called as soon as Jay said hello. The next half-hour was spent discussing the Technicians and the trolley chase. Cole was actually rather pleased with the results. If the two people had gone into one of the tunnel doors, that meant they were probably associated with one of the companies in the tunnel, which gave the ninja a finite list of businesses they could investigate for shady connections. Cole promised to do an extra-thorough patrol of the city tomorrow, too.

"So hey, not to change the subject," said Jay at last. "But what did Dr. Borg say? Did he even believe us about the aliens?"

"Did he ever!" Lloyd's voice was a bit distant from the mike, but clear enough. "He was really excited about all the pictures and videos we showed him, and he wants to see the aliens in person too."

"No tests, right?" said Jay suspiciously.

"Nahhh, nothing invasive. He just wants to see 'em and put them under a blacklight or something," said Kai. "Also, he wants us to keep a really tight eye on them. He went on and on about how this is a 'huge milestone for the scientific world!', and he wants us to film them, photograph them, write down anything unusual they do . . . " You could almost hear Kai's eyes rolling. "Basically organize an alien nature documentary."

"Hey, that sounds like fun!" said Jay. "Zane can be the narrator guy with the deep voice and super-dramatic pauses."

Zane blinked, puzzled, and Cole leaned over to murmur an explanation. Kai chuckled and continued.

"Anyway, yeah. Adventures in alien-watching, here we come. Borg also plans to do research on UFO sightings and stuff, to see if any previous sightings match what we've got. He says he'd appreciate it if we researched too, since there's a lot to go through. Oh, and we told him about the spaceship! Cole, are you still there?"

"Yep!"

"Well Cole, you are now the proud owner of—heh—a 'gently' used spacecraft."

"Me?!" Cole looked startled.

"True fact. Turns out, Ninjago actually has a whole bunch of laws covering aliens and their ships and what happens if they crash. Dr. Borg read over them all with us, it was hilarious. I don't know where they get this stuff."

"And?" cut in Jay impatiently, wanting to know why Cole got the privilege of starcraft ownership.

"Well, apparently the law is, if an alien ship crashes and the aliens aren't around or don't want it anymore—which I guess is our case—then whoever touches the wreckage first becomes its official owner. And that'd be Cole. Good thing we had that camera footage to prove it!"

"Aw, wow!" Cole chuckled disbelievingly. "It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but that's still pretty cool!"

"Yeah, don't get too happy yet," laughed Kai. "It means you've got extra appointments now. Borg wants to run tests on the metal from the ship, since it's an alien element and all that—I'm telling you, he's flipped his lid about this alien business. But since you're the owner of the ship, you need to be there when they take it into the particle accelerator."

"Wait, wait. Particle accelerator?!" Jay suddenly grabbed the mike. "You don't mean _the_ Giant Ninjago Hadron Collider, do you?"

"Do I?" asked Kai.

"Yeah, I think that's what he called it," said Lloyd.

"How could you guys not know about the GNHC?!" sputtered Jay. "It's only the most amazing achievement of science and technology Ninjago has ever known!"

"Well, I'd believe it," said Kai. "Seems like the thing is freakishly high-security. They won't even let anyone in besides Cole and just one other person."

"What?!" Jay's eyes flew open wide. "There's an extra slot? Sign me up, sign me up!"

A long silence on the other end of the line.

"Ohhhhhhh," said Kai.

"Don't tell me you gave the slot to someone else!" yelped Jay. "I would _kill_ to visit that particle accelerator! W—well, not really, but—you know what I—gah! We're talking lightspeed particle beams colliding! We're talking the most amazing and highest-security science landmark in all of Ninjago's _history!_ When would I ever get another chance to visit it, huh?"

"Well gosh . . . " said Kai awkwardly. "Sorry. If I'd known you'd be that excited about it, I wouldn't have wasted all that time talking Lloyd into going."

" _Lloyd?!_ " Jay exploded.

"I thought it wouldn't hurt to send the kid somewhere educational for a change," said Kai. "You know, like you said. Science."

"Science!" Jay was veritably foaming at the mouth; Cole and Zane had long since backed away to a safe distance. "Science! And Lloyd?! That kid wouldn't know a quark from a quasar if both of them punched him in the nose!"

There was a muffled "Hey!" from Lloyd on the other end of the line.

"What is _wrong_ with both of you?!" Jay ranted on, ignoring him. "'Oh, a science thing! Nope, we definitely don't know anyone who's absolutely crazy about science! Let's send the overgrown ten-year-old who doesn't give a _darn_ about science and couldn't do basic algebra! Sure!'"

"Jay!" Cole punched his arm and pointed to the blank call screen. Jay paused his tirade just long enough to register that Kai, on the other end of the line, was laughing helplessly. The blue ninja's eyebrows relaxed slightly from fury to puzzled suspicion.

"Jay you dork, before you say something you can't take back," gasped Kai. "I was _kidding!_ Of course we signed you up for the other slot."

A beat.

"WHAT?!" howled Jay. Kai lost the power of speech entirely, and Cole burst out laughing too.

"Kai, you—you—you—" Jay punched the control panel in helpless frustration. On one hand the news that he actually was going to the GNHC was overjoying—on the other hand, he'd just been baited into making a complete fool of himself.

"Lloyd here. Kai's on the floor." The green ninja sounded disgusted with the whole situation. "Honestly I resent that, Jay."

" _You_ resent it?!" Jay was in no mood for apologies. "You were in on this, weren't you?"

"No way. You think I'd sign up to have my intelligence insulted?" said Lloyd grumpily.

"Ughhhh." Jay pulled at his hair. "It was Kai's fault."

"Good point," conceded Lloyd. "We should get him."

"You're right!" Jay thumped the control panel again. "You hear that, Kai? You're gonna pay!"

"Yeah, yeah." Kai was catching his breath. "Wow, Jay. Just wow."

"Shut up," gritted Jay, his face red.

"Awh. I'm sorry Jay, honest—just, it's impossible not to mess with you when you put on a show like _that_." Kai stifled another chuckle. "Sorry."

"Save your apologies." Jay waved him off regally. "They won't save you. Lloyd and I are now officially on the hunt for revenge."

* * *

 **Quark: One of the tiny particles making up the slightly-less-tiny particles that make up atoms.**

 **Quasar: A freakin' gigantic black hole spewing jets of radiation 4 trillion times brighter than our sun.**

 **I think he'd know the difference. XD**

 **Particle accelerators are awesome. They're not necessarily that high-security, though** — **I know one that has regular tours open to the public and is free to use for anyone who wants to shoot electron beams at their ancient painting. :P**


	5. Life Hacks

**Holidays! *clubs inflatable snowman with roll of wrapping paper* There's holidays all right.**

 **Say, does anyone here like fruitcake? I love the stuff.**

 **Guest 1: Nothing to be sorry about! No worries. And thanks for taking the time to redo it!**

 **Heh, glad you're liking it; I have a habit of taking Jaya to bits, one way or another. :P Hasn't got me lynched yet . . . *crosses fingers***

 **Ninjagorulz: Thanks! Glad you're enjoying!**

 **Kairocksrainbows: Thanks for the review! Eh heh . . . I dunnoooo, don't forget, we're talking the _Bounty's_ primary jokester and the former prank master who managed to prank everyone on the ship, in one day, as a little kid. I'd say the deck is stacked against Kai. :P**

 **Getting an account, huh? Cool! Well, I think what you're getting is probably the Captcha code. Do you see some weird twisted-up numbers on that page? If not, there should be a little "refresh" button, keep hitting that that until you see twisted numbers. You're supposed to enter those below, to prove you're not a computer. Computers can't read messed-up numbers like that, so it prevents hackers from using an automated system to create spam accounts. ^_^**

 **Guest 2: Aww, kind words! Thank you!**

* * *

 **Sept. 4**

 **6:48 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Jay and Cole**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

"Jay!"

"Mmmmmmgh."

"Jay, wake up!"

Jay's eyes slid open grudgingly. He was greeted by the sight of Lloyd hanging off the edge of his bunk, Mopp perched upon his head, Meep hovering over his shoulder.

" _Weep weep!_ " sang Meep.

"Shhhh!" scolded Lloyd. Then he reached out to poke Jay again.

"Come on, wake up! You're gonna have to leave for patrol after breakfast, and we need to start planning!"

"Planning?" slurred Jay, blinking woozily.

"Revenge on Kai!"

"Ohh." Jay rolled over again, closing his eyes. "Wha's to plan? No big deal. Dump some water on his head while he's still sleepin'."

"You know that's not an option!" said Lloyd, exasperated. "We can't just _annoy_ him, we have to _fool_ him. It's not proper revenge unless they actually walk into it."

Besides, there was an unspoken rule in the team about not pranking anyone who was asleep. It was something of an insult to a ninja's intelligence to prey upon someone entirely defenseless; besides, sleep was valuable enough on the _Bounty_ that people needed the ability to drift off anytime, anywhere, without worrying what would happen to them in the meantime.

As Lloyd resumed poking, Jay groaned and rolled over again, regarding him with resigned, sleepy eyes.

"You're really taking this revenge thing seriously, huh?"

"I was looking forward to it." Lloyd clambered up to balance precariously on the edge of Jay's bunk. "I haven't pranked anyone since I was ten, and now I have a good excuse. And an accomplice!"

Jay smiled a little sadly. Poor Lloyd; he was trying so hard to act as if nothing had changed in the months after his father was lost, trying to prove he was still his stalwart, good-humored self. He might be breaking inside, but he was doing a spectacular job of hiding it . . . Maybe a little mischief-making would do him good. It was worth sacrificing a bit of sleep for.

"Accomplice, huh?" he said drily, sitting up. "In other words, 'if we get in trouble, blame it on Jay'?"

"Maybe." Lloyd laughed and shielded his head as Jay attempted to whack him with his pillow.

They decided to coat Kai's toothbrush with lard, which would taste nasty and leave the handle slimy. The process involved a good deal of sneaking back and forth, looking for the lard, getting something to spread it with, and microwaving it when it turned out to be too hard to work with. Meep and Mopp followed them back and forth the entire time; or rather, Meep did, and Mopp raised a fuss whenever he was left behind.

"It's getting to be annoying," sighed Jay, tucking Mopp into the bathroom sink for the third time as they finally began work on the toothbrush. "I don't mind carrying the little guy, but I need my hands free now and then!"

" _Weep weep!_ " said Mopp resignedly. He and Meep seemed to be getting discouraged at the continuous lack of understanding from the humans, and were becoming more interested in simply watching all the mysterious things that Earthlings did.

"We could always design some kind of pouch to carry him in," said Lloyd, watching as Jay deftly worked lard into the toothbrush bristles.

"What, like a kangaroo?" snorted Jay. Lloyd chuckled.

"I think you'd make a great kangaroo."

"Yeah, well. _I_ think the grass needs mowing."

Lloyd rolled his eyes, but caught sight of his hair in the mirror—now rendered even worse by leftover bedhead—and said nothing out loud.

Eventually the others awoke. Lloyd pretended to be just waking up as Jay returned from putting the lard away; they exchanged grins as Kai went to brush his teeth. There should be some outrage starting right about . . .

. . . Rrrriiiiiiight about . . .

. . . Right . . . about . . . ?

"Yagh!"

Only it was Jay, not Kai. The lightning ninja, who had been in the middle of putting his shirt on, suddenly yelped and yanked it off, tumbling off his bunk in his haste.

"What gives?" asked Cole, giving him an odd look.

"There's an eel in my clothes or something!" said Jay, fishing around inside the sleeve of his suit. Suddenly he gave an indignant groan and pulled out a toothbrush, slickery with lard.

"Ughhh. Kai!"

"Yeahhh?" said Kai from the bathroom door, unable to suppress a smug grin. "Oh, so that's where it went."

"Not funny," grumbled Jay as the others laughed. Kai chuckled and helped him up.

"Ah, better luck next time."

"You bet," said Jay under his breath.

"Let this be a lesson," said Sensei Wu from the doorway, making everyone jump. "Those who set traps for others, too often fall prey to their own spite."

"Very good point," said Jay solemnly—but he was already exchanging glances with Lloyd. The green ninja nodded back. They weren't to be dissuaded so easily.

Mopp began to fuss again as the ninja headed for the kitchen.

"This is getting out of hand, for real," sighed Jay, picking the squirming critter up. Suddenly something seemed to click in his brain. He looked down at the alien, then down at the hoodie he was wearing, unzipped as usual.

"Sayyyy," he said. Zipping up the front, he twisted around and tucked Mopp into the hood in the back. "This could work! Hands-free alien carrying!"

" _Charoo, mip mip!_ " sang Mopp. The alien fit perfectly in the cloth pouch, legs and all.

"Are you sure that's safe?" said Cole dubiously.

"Oh, he's fine," said Jay. "It's pretty deep, he won't fall out."

"I meant . . . " Cole sighed and shook his head. Jay tugged on the front of the hoodie a little to compensate for the extra weight in the back, smiling as Mopp reached up to pull at his hair.

"See, told you you'd make a great kangaroo!" grinned Lloyd.

* * *

This morning the aliens came to breakfast. For a while Mopp flip-flopped about the table, gravely announcing " _Weep weep!_ " to anyone who so much as looked at him, but eventually he and Meep both became distracted by the fascinating implements of breakfast.

"Careful!" said Zane, catching a glass of milk just before Mopp succeeded in overturning it. Mopp chirped and attempted to grab Zane's spoon on its way to his mouth.

"Seriously," said Kai, eyeing Meep. "Do these aliens _have_ to stare at us while we're eating?"

" _Glee,_ " shrilled Meep, his eyes fixed on Kai. If you've ever been stared at by a dog begging for table scraps, you know the look.

"Quit being a grouch," said Jay, picking the little alien up. "They're just curious. How d'you think _you'd_ react if you wound up on a bizarre new planet? Hey!"

This last bit directed at Meep, who had given up staring at Kai and was instead trying to fit himself into Jay's cereal bowl.

"Yughhhh, Meep! No," scolded Jay, pulling him out hurriedly as milk splashed over the table. "No! Bad alien."

" _Woooo-ooh?_ " said Meep guiltily, looking up at Jay with plaintive eyes and soggy cornflakes plastered over his face. Jay laughed in spite of himself and rubbed the little alien off with a napkin.

"No cereal, buddy. It's not for you."

From across the table, Nya watched him thoughtfully, a smile flickering across her lips.

Presently there was the sound of a door opening, and a call of "hello?"

"Misako's here!" said Cole.

"Hi Mom!" called Lloyd, trotting to the door as Misako stepped in. He smiled awkwardly as she hugged him hello; when she drew away, she tousled his hair disbelievingly.

"Oh Lloyd," she sighed. "It's worse than ever before."

"Mommmm . . . " Lloyd cringed, trying not to let the "typical teenager" tone sneak into his voice. "There's nothing wrong with it. I just brush it off to the side and it stays there."

"Well, at least wash it," said Misako amusedly. "You're starting to look like the young Leonardo DiCaprio."

"Who?" Lloyd blinked.

"Oh, and these are the aliens?" said Misako, as Meep hovered over to circle her curiously. Mopp lifted himself from the table on five legs, waving the bandaged sixth one as if in greeting.

"Amazing," said Misako, but there was something strained about her smile, and she subconsciously leaned away from Meep just the teeniest bit.

"Don't worry Mom, they're harmless!" said Lloyd, guiding Misako to the table and encouraging her to stroke Mopp's head.

"At least, they haven't harmed anyone yet," Kai amended. Misako drew her hand back a little faster than was debonair, then gave a sheepish smile. She was usually the opposite of squeamish, the sort of person who would bonk Stone Warriors between the eyes without flinching, but apparently alien cuttlefish were a little out of her league.

"You'll get used to them," said Lloyd soothingly. He gave Kai a look. "I'm gonna start doing research on those alien sightings right now. I'll bet there's not a single recorded instance of aliens hurting anyone."

"Nobody survived to tell the tale," sang Kai morosely, then dodged as Lloyd flicked a spoon at him.

* * *

"Again with the automated," mumbled Cole with his mouth full. He was brandishing a bagel in one hand and paging through a phone book with the other, pressing the _Bounty's_ old-fashioned telephone to his ear with one shoulder. Kai and Lloyd had listed all the businesses they could remember from that industrial tunnel, and now Cole was phoning them all, trying to set up a visit while he was on patrol. So far he'd had no luck.

"Hey Cole, I'm gonna go ahead and lea—" Jay walked into the room and stopped short. "Woah, what's going on?"

There were clothes and books strewn all over the floor—apparently Cole had been digging for his good suit in case he landed a meeting. The earth ninja, struggling to hear some automated options over the phone, merely waved for Jay to shut up and went back to the phone book. Jay raised his eyebrows and began poking through the mishmash curiously.

"No, I'm not an agent," Cole muttered at the auto-voice. "What does it take to get a live person on the line?!"

" _For customer service, please press 4. If you would like to place or track an order, please press 5. To hear more call-waiting music, please press_ —"

"Arrrgh." Cole hung up, tousling his hair in frustration. He took a vindictive bite of the bagel and turned around.

"Jay," he said. "Get out of my clothes."

Jay had enrobed himself in Cole's old lumberjack shirt (which came down a good deal past his wrists), and was in the process of jamming the knitted lumberjack cap over his head.

"Comfy," he said, flapping the sleeves experimentally.

Cole raised his eyes heavenwards and tugged the cap off.

"Heyyyyy!" protested Jay, swiping it back.

"Jay, we have to leave for patrol, and we're already late. This is no time for clowning."

"Awww." Jay looked exaggeratedly disappointed. "Don't leave us!"

Cole rolled his eyes again. He was turning twenty in a few months, and the others were taking it surprisingly hard; "don't leave us!" was becoming a frequent plea. He couldn't seem to figure out that it was less about the first digit of his age and more about the overly grown-up act he was pulling more and more often lately.

Before he could make any further comments, though, Kai came through with an armload of laundry. He chuckled at Jay's costume.

"Cole's a lumberjack, and he's okay—"

"He sleeps all night, and he works all day!" Jay joined in. Cole groaned.

"I knew this would start eventually. Give me my shirt back, Jay!"

Jay dodged nimbly, wiggled his fingers beside his head, and skittered off still singing about lumberjacks. Meep came into the room to see what the noise was and began to dart excitedly around Jay, batting at the flapping sleeves of the lumberjack shirt. Kai chuckled and turned to Cole.

"What's with the mess in here?"

"Looking for my suit. I was contacting those companies you and Lloyd told me about, but so far I've been having such a hard time setting up a meeting, they might as well _all_ be up to something shady."

Kai grimaced sympathetically; he felt the same way about automated systems.

"Well hey. Just walk into the place and ask to see the boss."

"You're kidding."

"Works for me." Kai smirked. "As long as the receptionist's a girl."

"I should've known." Cole rolled his eyes, smiling. "Ho ho. I bet that'd impress Skylor . . . "

"Hey, hey, don't get ideas. It's not like she—"

"Hey guys, guys, guys!" Jay bounced in, sleeves flailing. "What do lumberjacks eat for dinner?"

Cole and Kai both groaned.

"Chop suey! What's a lumberjack's favorite snack?"

"You know, I'm starting to get offended here," said Cole.

"Chips! How do you get a lumberjack out of a tree?"

"Jayyyyyy."

"Axe him politely!"

"I'm done." Cole grasped the collar of the shirt and tugged, trying to shake Jay out of it.

"Hey! Ow! Okay already!" Jay wriggled out of the shirt and cast Cole a reproachful look.

"You wouldn't make jokes if I still had my axe with me, Sparky." Cole grinned wryly.

Jay made a face. Every now and then he missed being a TV show host; he never got shushed or ignored or called annoying back then, and even jokes he _knew_ were stupid were bound to get a laugh. It had been fun.

Then again, whenever he did manage to coax a smile out of these grim-jims he called teammates, it was _soooooooo_ much more rewarding. It balanced out in the end. Not even counting how great it was to have a family who put up with you and watched out for you and teased you back instead of a studio audience full of strangers.

"Hey," called Cole from down the hall. "How many TV hosts does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"Ohh, now you're crossing a line!" Jay caught up and shoved him playfully.

* * *

Jay was glad he had the country patrol that day, not New Ninjago City. Admittedly he mayyyyy have rushed it a little bit; Cole was still probably only halfway through his own patrol by the time Jay headed home.

He found Lloyd reading in the kitchen, propped up on his elbows and swinging his feet in the air, while Meep and Mopp splashed about in the washtub (which had apparently been dragged in from the spare room to prevent water damage to the floor). Misako was perched on a stool nearby, taking notes, and a video camera was whirring on the table.

"Oh, the torment you endure for the sake of knowledge," grinned Jay, peering at the title of Lloyd's book. It was _The Essential Illustrated Guide to_ Starfarer.

"Heyyyy, this is research!" Lloyd shot back good-naturedly. "They have a complete encyclopedia of all the alien species ever encountered in the shows, movies, _and_ comics. I'm broadening my general alien knowledge!"

"Yeah, well. When you get tired of being scholarly, we still need to think up something for Kai," chuckled Jay. He was about to ask Misako if she'd made any progress, but he was interrupted by the groan of splintering wood. Realizing what that meant, he headed on-deck to lean over the ship's railing.

"Need some help?" he called down to Nya, who was prying away portions of the hull with a crowbar.

"Oh hey, you're back!" Nya looked up with a smile, dashing one arm across her forehead. "I wanted to show you something."

"In the ship?"

"No, the security system," said Nya, clambering up the jagged portions of hull to meet him. "I just had a really great idea!"

She took Jay to her workroom again. Having taken another look at the alien technology, she had found a control panel which she considered vastly superior to the old security console's layout. Jay studied it, and after spending a good fifteen minutes trying to draw out the circuitry, declared that it was physically impossible to wire a control panel to look that way. Then there was a dispute.

They spent a large part of the afternoon arguing—not with any kind of vitriol, of course, merely in the spirit of scientific debate. Still, every now and then Jay would stop for a second and wonder what the heck he was doing. When, in the last few years of his existence, had he ever dreamed of arguing with Nya?

It was actually kind of fun, though. She was a spirited opponent.

The repairs on the _Bounty_ were again completely forgotten, but hey; they weren't in any tearing hurry. Their elemental dragons got them where they needed to go just fine.

* * *

 **With apologies to Monty Python. XD**

 **Hmm, I think that's the first reference in here to fingers or other body parts not extant on LEGOs. Technically, I do write "in LEGO,"** **but it's comparatively impossible to write for very long without bringing up fingers, ears, or noses. Besides, most people seem more comfortable visualizing them as regular humans. And hey, if all else fails, the show does it too. :P**

 **Anyway! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year to all of you guys! Hope you're having a safe and peaceful time.**


	6. Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls

**Hi fellas! Hope everyone had a good Christmas, if you celebrate it. Looking forward to the new year?**

 **Look who's got brand-new cover art, too! Now you can see what the aliens look like. At least, as far as my hokey artistic skills will permit. :P**

 **Guest: Heeeeeee's a lumberjack and he's okay! He sleeps all night and he works all day! XD**

 **Thanks for the review! Interactions are my favorite part of writing. :)**

 **Kairocksrainbows: Good luck to you! If you still can't see the numbers, you may be a Nindroid. 'fraid I can't help you in that case. :P**

* * *

 **Sept 4**

 **3:05 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Jay and Cole**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Nya and Jay were still deep in discussion a few hours later, when they headed down to the kitchen for a snack. Misako, Lloyd, and the aliens were still there; it was Zane's turn to cook, so he was already circling around the kitchen looking for stew ingredients. He listened with one ear, smiling slightly, as Jay and Nya munched trail mix and argued about the design of the alien ship's rocket boosters.

"I'm telling you, the fuel intake hose connected _here_ , I saw it," said Jay, attempting to make a sketch on a napkin. "It couldn't be any longer, it wouldn't be able to handle the pressurized fuel they'd need to—"

"No, it would work if it was like _this_ ," interrupted Nya, taking the pen and altering the sketch.

"But they didn't look like that!" insisted Jay.

"Yeah they did."

"Ugh, there's gotta be a good photograph showing the rockets . . . " Jay began to dig through the collection of photos they'd printed.

"Don't suppose either of you guys remembers what the rockets looked like?" asked Nya, looking to Lloyd and Zane. Lloyd shrugged and shook his head, but Zane looked up hesitantly.

"I did have a chance to observe them fairly well," he ventured.

"Think you could sketch one out for us?" asked Nya, holding out the pen. Zane stepped over, took a napkin, and worked quietly for a few minutes.

"Something like this," he said, pushing the napkin across the table. Jay glanced up from the photographs for only a moment, then registered a double-take and nearly dropped them.

"What in the . . . " He and Nya both stared at the drawing Zane had made. Despite being scrawled on a paper napkin, it was sheerly perfect; a meticulous technical diagram of the rocket in question, down to the last bolt, with perfectly straight lines and perfectly right-angle corners. Jay looked all around the table for something Zane might have used as a straightedge. There was nothing.

"You just . . . drew this?" he said, pointing at the napkin. Zane blinked at him, puzzled.

"Err . . . yes?"

Thirty seconds later the _Bounty_ was filled with the _screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!_ of sliding metal against wood as Jay chivvied an unwilling Zane down the hallway. The Nindroid was digging in his heels, not sure he liked what this was escalating to.

"It's only a drawing Zane, quit fighting it!" scolded Jay. "It's not for a grade or anything."

"But it's nothing special," protested Zane, unquestionably nervous. "I only drew what—"

"I know, I know!" Jay steered him into Nya's workroom. "I just want to see this on proper paper."

Nya followed them into the room as Jay bustled about fetching architect's paper and a mechanical pencil. Zane sat in the chair he'd been shooed into, looking like he was sitting on a flagpole above lava.

"G'wan Zane, show us!" said Jay, handing him the pencil.

"What . . . should I draw?" asked Zane.

"Uhm, um . . . " Jay looked around and grabbed a half-assembled security camera, turning it so its open side full of tangled wires faced Zane. "Can you draw that?"

Zane gave a hesitant nod. He looked down at the paper for a moment, biting his lip, then looked up again pleadingly. Nya, understanding, took Jay by the elbow.

"Let's give him some peace and quiet, okay?"

Jay protested slightly, but allowed himself to be hauled out of the room. Nya went off to check on Mopp's bandages, while Jay continued to fidget outside the workroom door, eager to see if that spectacular napkin drawing had been just a fluke.

At last Zane let him back in, still looking somewhat discombobulated. Jay took a look at the drawing and sat down.

"And you just . . . just draw this kind of stuff? Just like that? Freehand?" he said.

"There is no particular talent required," said Zane, looking away.

"No talent?! Zane, this is amazing! People need years of experience and special tools to draw blueprints like this, and you just dash them off freehand? Think of all the designs you could draw! Think of—" Jay broke off, his eyes widening. "Can you draw organic forms too?"

"Organic?"

"Like, actual drawings. Try it! Draw—" Jay hesitated. "Draw Nya."

Zane glanced towards the door.

"I should be making dinner . . . "

"Dinner can wait!" said Jay. "Heck, I'll take over dinner tonight if I have to." He caught Zane's still-reluctant look. "Come on, no pressure! It's okay, just give it your best shot. I won't judge if you're not good at it or something."

A long moment of silence. Zane sat staring at the paper, not picking up the pencil.

"Geez!" said Jay impatiently. "Quit stalling, pal. Art like this is nothing to be modest about!"

"Not art," said Zane flatly.

Jay opened his mouth to contradict, but Zane had already picked up the pencil. Almost vindictively—and that was unheard-of, for Zane—he began to draw the pencil across the paper, leaving long dark perfectly-straight streaks of soft graphite. Jay stared, his mouth still open; for a second he thought Zane had well and truly lost his temper and was merely making angry marks on the paper.

But rapidly, so fast that Zane's metallic hand was almost a blur, the number of streaks grew. They were short and long, heavier and lighter, all perfectly parallel to the edge of the paper. More and more of them built up.

And all at once, an image sprang at Jay out of the flurry of streaks—Nya. Zane kept stroking doggedly away, his expression tight, until he had covered almost the entire surface of the paper with pencil lead.

The portrait was photo-accurate.

Jay sat in silence, not sure if his shock came more from the beauty of the picture or the method in which it had been created. Zane pushed the paper lightly across the table to him and looked away, putting the pencil down.

"That is a photograph," he said. "I cannot draw. I can only take a still frame from my memory banks, convert it to outlines or black and white, reduce it to pixels, and calculate how to transmit the pixels to paper. PIXAL moderates most of the process." He toyed with the pencil, his eyes downcast. "She and I are essentially a walking Xerox machine."

Jay said "Oh." Or at least his mouth did, but no sound came out. All at once he understood why Zane was so reluctant to draw.

"Gosh," he said at last. "Sorry. I didn't know."

"It is all right." Zane smiled ruefully. "I did not want to disappoint you, but . . . "

"No, no," said Jay. "I'm not disappointed!" He picked up the picture of Nya and looked at it for a moment. "And I take it back. I'm not sorry either." He slapped the paper down on the table and looked Zane in the eye. "Zane, most people would _kill_ to be a walking Xerox. Heck, _I_ would kill for that kind of talent! You need to use what you've got."

"But it is not talent," insisted Zane, shaking his head. "It is only copying what I see. I cannot draw anything I have not seen before, or change the angle of view, or create any kind of new image. Only copy."

"That doesn't matter," said another voice softly. Nya stood in the doorway. "It's still amazing, Zane. You should be proud."

"Yeah, what she said." Jay gave Zane's arm a light shove as the Nindroid looked away shyly. "Wait till the others see this!"

"No, wait," said Zane, looking up. "I would rather the others didn't know."

"But—"

"At least not yet," said Zane urgently. "At least until I understand it a little better."

Jay grimaced, but at last sighed and nodded. The rebuild was a touchy topic at times, especially considering how dramatically more robot-like it had made Zane in some respects. No sense forcing the matter.

"Okay, fine. But tell PIXAL she's awesome, all right?"

"She can hear you," said Zane, smiling slightly.

* * *

Zane went back to making dinner, looking a little bewildered but happy. It turned out his excitement for the day wasn't over yet, though.

Only a few minutes later Jay and Nya ran into Cole in the hallway. He was still wearing his patrol gear, tousled and scented of fresh air from the flight home—and one of his arms was occupied by a ragged bundle of brown feathers.

"What the—" Jay stopped cold. "Is that—?!"

"Shhhh!" Cole waved one hand frantically, shushing him. "It is! I found it hopping around on the forecastle."

"It couldn't be!" Nya laughed amazedly. "Is it Zane's falcon, really?"

Cole tapped lightly at the bird's side. It clanked.

"Yep." He smiled, stroking the back of the weary-looking bird's head. "Zane mentioned he'd lost his connection with the falcon after he got rebuilt, so the poor sucker must've been chasing around looking for him all this time. I guess we finally held still long enough for it to find us." He tilted his head, grinning thoughtfully, then headed down the hallway without another word. Jay and Nya exchanged glances and followed; Cole turned back to place a finger to his lips for silence.

In the kitchen, Misako was still studying the aliens and Lloyd was now reading a different book, while Zane chopped something. Cole slipped through the door and cleared his throat.

"Hey Zane, found some poultry for that stew," he said, and held up his arm to let the falcon launch. It immediately threw itself towards its master, screeching a somewhat warped but still joyous _kee kee!_

Zane stared, and for a horrible second the others thought the falcon must be one of the things he'd forgotten after all. But his bewilderment lasted only a moment, and then all of a sudden the bowl of chopped carrots he'd been holding spilled across the countertop and his arm was snapping up to give the falcon a place to perch.

"It's returned!" he whispered, his baby-blue eyes wide. "It wasn't destroyed after all!"

Cole folded his arms in satisfaction, smiling lopsidedly. Zane's falcon had gone missing during the battle with Chen's Anacondrai—and when it didn't show up for so long, they'd all sadly assumed it must have been smashed somehow. Despite his patchy memory, Zane still seemed to miss his beloved mechanical pet in a deeply personal way.

Clearly the falcon had missed him too; right now it was perched on his shoulder, much closer than it usually ventured to climb, nuzzling its feathery head fervently against Zane's cheek. Zane stroked the bird's now-ratty plumage lovingly, smiling from ear to ear.

Dinner was going to be late tonight.

Kai soon came over to see what all the commotion was about. As Zane's falcon basked in the attention and tidbits of stew meat it was receiving, Lloyd suddenly checked if anyone was watching, took Jay by the arm, and pulled him into the hallway.

"Hey, what gives?" asked Jay. "Do you have an idea for—" He sobered when he saw the grim look on Lloyd's face. "It's not about Kai, is it?"

"No, it's about the aliens." Lloyd held up the book he'd been reading. "I found a description that almost matches them. It's this old book called _War of the Worlds_." He cracked it open and showed Jay a passage describing the alien visitors in the old classic.

"You're right," said Jay, raising his eyebrows. "Just take away the beaks they mention here, and you could definitely describe them like this." He looked at the title again. "Uhh . . . Judging that it's called _War of the Worlds_ , I'm guessing they're . . . not the friendliest?"

Lloyd grimaced.

The book was enough to give Jay the world's worst heebie-jeebies. Lloyd went through it pointing out passages about hollow ships that crash-landed, the aliens' eerily familiar warbling language, giant weaponized walker machines, deadly laser-like heat rays that burned thousands of people alive, and poisonous Black Smoke that suffocated thousands more. The body count made a Hollywood action flick look tasteful; the aliens were much smarter than people, but treated humanity like mere insects to be exterminated from their newly-colonized planet. On top of that, they fed upon human blood.

"Wow," said Jay softly at last. Lloyd gave him a despairing look.

"What do we do?"

Jay peeked into the kitchen, where Meep and the falcon were studying each other with fascination, poking and pecking gingerly. Half an hour ago he'd have thought it was pretty cute, but now it gave him chills.

"I mean, it _is_ just a fiction book, right?" said Lloyd. "Maybe it's just a coincidence?"

"Yeah . . . " said Jay slowly. "I mean, they haven't hurt us yet. If they'd planned to kill us with heat rays, we would've seen some signs of it by now."

"Yeah," mumbled Lloyd. "I guess. And I mean, the ones in the book had beaks . . . "

"Yeah, and they couldn't fly," added Jay hopefully.

"And they probably didn't live on water," said Lloyd.

"Yeah," said Jay.

"Yeah." Lloyd half-crossed his arms, studying the floor.

"Okay," said Jay at last. "Let's not tell anyone just yet. But let's kinda . . . keep an eye on them, huh?"

Lloyd nodded, looking miserably over to where Misako (by now acclimated) had Mopp in her lap and was petting him. Jay winced sympathetically. Suddenly Kai's comments about having his insides sucked out through a straw seemed a little too close for comfort . . .

* * *

 **Waha! Finally, actual dramatic tension of a sort! And next chapter there may be even more . . . I swear I know what I'm doing here, folks! Uhh** — **pretty sure, at least . . .**

 **Y'know, I actually had the aliens' appearance already planned out when I read _War of the Worlds_ last summer, and then I was slightly unsettled at how similar they were to the WotW aliens. XD **

**Also, Zane's peculiar drawing skills were inspired by a Portal 2 fanfiction, "Love is a Construct." In there, the supercomputer GLaDOS can only draw blueprints and technical diagrams, and can't even "see" regular art. Zane's not quite that far gone, luckily. Also, his parallel-strokes method of drawing is based on laser etching. Look up "Laser Etch music" on YouTube and click the first video for a pretty cool time. :)**

 **And yeah, I know the Season 5 "model" of the falcon is naked metal. Can't imagine why the critter still has all its feathers on . . .**


	7. Thinking with Portals

**Welp, it's a new year! Funny, feels just like the old one. XD**

 **By the way, FFN's been acting funky lately, refusing to show reviews and stuff. If anyone's reviewed and I haven't replied, my apologies! I probably never got to see it.**

* * *

 **Sept 5**

 **2:14 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Zane's stew last night had been great, but salty. In the wee hours of the morning, Kai awoke feeling uncomfortably thirsty. He was just contemplating if it was worth it stumbling to the kitchen for a drink when he heard the sound of low speech. Blinking groggily, he looked around the darkened room and realized Lloyd was stirring and talking to himself in his sleep. He sounded oddly coherent, for a sleeptalker; curiosity piqued, Kai sat up.

Seconds later he was tumbling out of bed and bolting to clamp his hand over Lloyd's mouth, eyes wide.

"Stoppit!" he hissed. "Are you _crazy?_ "

"Mmmph!" Lloyd woke up with a start, realized that his breathing was constricted, and momentarily panicked. Kai struggled to keep him from thrashing.

"What the heck, Lloyd?!" he demanded, glaring as he finally removed his hand from the younger ninja's mouth. "You were reciting the spell to transform into an Anacondrai in your _sleep!_ "

"Wh . . . wha'?" slurred Lloyd, lapsing into grogginess as the initial shock wore off. "I was?"

"What were you thinking? You could've turned us all into _snakes!_ " Kai whisper-shouted. His hair stood on end at the thought of what could have happened.

"Nuh-uh." Lloyd yawned unconcernedly, rubbing one eye. "It wouldn't'a done anything . . . none of us is wearin' the Anacondrai tattoo."

". . . Oh." Kai sat down, embarrassed and annoyed—two things that almost always went hand-in-hand for him. Lloyd gave a drowsy half-laugh, still trying to massage his eyes into wakefulness.

"How would I even have been able to recite it?" he asked. "I've never heard it before."

"But I was there when they turned Chen and his followers into Anacondrai, and that was definitely that creepy dark-magic language. I'd recognize it anywhere," said Kai stubbornly.

"Well, it's not like I—" Lloyd froze. "Oh."

"What?"

"It wasn't the snake spell," said Lloyd, covering his eyes. "Oh no."

Kai stiffened.

"The spell for the Cursed Realm."

"I . . . I think so." Lloyd swallowed.

"You remember it?!"

"I didn't know I did, but I guess so." Lloyd leaned back on his hands, looking shaken. "That . . . could've ended badly."

"Yeah," said Kai, rubbing his forehead. "Badly." He studied Lloyd uneasily. "Seriously, for a moment there I thought you were awake. You weren't just mumbling it like a sleeptalker. You were saying it like you _meant_ it."

"I don't _want_ to open the Cursed Realm, if that's what you're thinking," said Lloyd sharply.

Kai said nothing. He watched as Lloyd slid out of bed and began pacing, his expression grim.

"So, why would it start just now, out of nowhere?" he asked. "Hey, maybe I've been doing it all along. Maybe it doesn't work if you're not thinking about it? In all the books about wizards, you can say the words of a spell to teach it to someone, and it doesn't do anything unless you actually _want_ it to."

"This isn't wizard school," said Kai, but nodded. "Give it a try, then. Don't try to make the spell work; just tell me how it goes."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go for it."

Lloyd sat down again, staring into space and licking his lips in concentration. For a moment he looked puzzled, as if he once again couldn't remember a word; then an unwilling recognition dawned in his eyes.

"Here goes," he warned. Closing his eyes, he began to carefully pronounce the words of the ancient incantation, wrapping his tongue gingerly around each syllable. Kai listened, unwilling to admit even to himself that his skin was crawling. Seriously something wrong with that language.

Lloyd reached the second line without so much as hesitating, although he was starting to feel distinctly creepy too.

"Persona . . . Demaru . . . " His voice softened and slowed a bit in reluctance. "Nyphoro—"

"Stop!" cried Kai suddenly. Lloyd's eyes snapped open.

"What, what?!"

The second he said it, breaking the continuity of the spell, something about the room seemed to change. A purple shimmer in the air disappeared with a hiss, leaving the world looking normal where he hadn't realized it wasn't. For a second, the portal to the Cursed Realm had started to open, right there in the bunkroom of the crashed ship.

The two of them sat in silence, utterly wired. After a few seconds Cole, probably stirred by Kai's shout, rolled over in his sleep and grumbled something indistinct. The mundane, familiar sound pulled Lloyd and Kai back into reality a bit.

"Well, guess that does it." Lloyd slumped. "No more sleeping."

"How about something we actually _can_ do about it?" said Kai. He didn't mean to sound so sharp, but the idea that they might all be damned to a hellish alternate dimension in their sleep set him on edge.

"Look, I don't know," said Lloyd tiredly. "I'd sleep on the sofa or something, but the kind of portal this spell creates could probably swallow the whole _Bounty_." He pushed back his bangs, sighing defeatedly. "Geez. I . . . I thought it would be over once we got rid of the spellbook . . . "

Kai winced at the despair bleeding inadvertantly into Lloyd's voice, suddenly feeling guilty. Sure, this magic mumbo-jumbo kinda freaked him out, but how must Lloyd feel? Besides, the fact that he was reliving that particular moment in his sleep didn't say anything good.

"Look." He drew in his breath. "Maybe we're overreacting."

"Yeah, maybe the Cursed Realm isn't all that bad," said Lloyd drily. Kai rolled his eyes.

"I mean about the sleeptalking. It could just have been a one-time thing. Maybe the stew made you sleep restlessly—heck, it woke me up in the middle of the night."

"Yeah . . . or maybe it's 'cos I was nervous . . . " murmured Lloyd, thinking back to the aliens he'd tacitly locked in the kitchen that evening.

"About what?" asked Kai, puzzled.

"Ah—nothin'."

Kai gave him an odd look, but shrugged it off.

"I'm serious, though. When Nya was little, she used to sleepwalk all the time if she ate something heavy before bed. One night she had three helpings of lasagna, and next morning we found her asleep in the kitchen cupboard, cuddling an oven mitt instead of her teddy bear."

Despite his worry Lloyd smiled. Kai half-smiled in reply, but sobered quickly as a thought overtook him.

"Uhh—" He held up a warning hand. "Nya doesn't need to know I told you that."

"Hmmm . . . " Lloyd's thoughtful smirk spoke of blackmail. Kai shoved him lightly.

"Or, you know, it could just be your hair." He proceeded cautiously, checking if Lloyd was ready to take teasing. "If I'd accumulated that much of it, I wouldn't sleep right either."

"Knock it off." Lloyd shoved him back. "This is the Cursed Realm we're talking about." He was still smiling just a little, though.

"Okay, okay, so let's think about this." Kai settled back, finding his mind was running much more smoothly now that he'd relaxed. Within minutes he snapped his fingers triumphantly. "I know! We just need to keep you from being able to talk."

"I think the guys might ask questions if I sleep with a gag on."

"Duct tape, then," said Kai, then chuckled and dodged a light punch. "But seriously, I've got it; nobody would have to know. See, one of my uncles stopped breathing in his sleep."

Lloyd gave him a deadpan look.

"Not like that," groaned Kai, waving. "Not _permanently._ He had that thing where you snore a lot, and sometimes you hold your breath. What's-its-name, sleep . . . "

"Sleep apnea?" volunteered Lloyd.

"Yeah!" Kai looked slightly peeved that the "overgrown ten-year-old" knew words better than he did. "Sleep apnea. They gave him a plastic thing he could put in his mouth to prevent it, and once he had it on he could only mumble. The spell wouldn't work if you couldn't talk clearly, right?"

"Yeah, that could work!" Lloyd looked considerably brighter. "Where can you get one of those?"

"I dunno." Kai shrugged. "You could ask Sensei Wu about it."

"I . . . think maybe it'd be better if he didn't know," said Lloyd. "I mean, Uncle Wu was never big on dark magic in the first place, and this one's kinda . . . personal to him . . . "

"Ohh no no. You're telling him about this one way or the other." Kai put on his best "you-do-as-big-brother-says-or-else" tone. "This is important, and he's got to know about it. If something goes wrong, explaining it to him in the Cursed Realm would probably be a _little_ too late." His voice softened. "Besides, he'll understand. Heck, I bet he'll have some kind of fancy tea that'll fix the problem right away."

"Okay, okay. I'll tell him." Lloyd sighed. For a moment he frowned down at his foot.

"You okay?" ventured Kai at last.

"Yeah . . . "

"Want to, I dunno, talk or something?"

"No . . . "

It was a conversation they'd all had multiple times before. It had gotten to the point where you could almost hear metal slamming as Lloyd's defenses went up. Frustrating—they all wanted to help if they could, they all knew how hard it must be for him. He just refused to admit it. Like he didn't trust them or something. Heck, even though the whole conversation had hinged on the Cursed Realm, somehow he had managed to not once bring up his dad . . .

Sighing, Kai leaned over and wrapped an arm around Lloyd's shoulders.

"Hey, hey. You should . . . " Lloyd yawned. "Go back to sleep."

"Yeahhh, you first."

"Who, me? _Sleep?_ After _this?_ "

"Relax," scoffed Kai. "It's not gonna happen twice in one night, and I'll be up for a while anyway—I need a drink. I'll keep an ear open and clock you over the head if you start mumbling anything funny again. Besides, you and Zane are the ones with patrol tomorrow, and Cole and Jay are going to visit Dr. Borg. I'll be able to take a nap or something."

Lloyd grumbled, but the mere mention of sleep had started him yawning again. Still muttering, he slipped under the covers and snuggled down into his pillow, closing his eyes. He opened them again when Kai stood up.

"Uhh—" He sat up partway, then hesitated.

"Any time," said Kai gently.

Lloyd gave him a grateful smile and settled down again.

"Jay and I are still getting you, though."

"Well, I'd hope so!" Kai smirked. "I'm looking forward to outsmarting you two."

Lloyd made an unamused noise in his throat and closed his eyes. Chuckling softly, Kai slipped out of the bunkroom for a glass of water.

He drank slowly, trying to keep himself awake. Lloyd fidgeted for a long time, but at last he fell asleep again, his breath mixing in with the others' even rhythm. After a long spell of nothing happening, Kai decided it was probably safe to go back to sleep himself.

Only just as he was settling down, _Jay_ started to fidget and cry out through his sleep. It was not Kai's night tonight.

* * *

Since the aliens were still locked in the kitchen, there were no warbled wake-up calls the next morning. Truth be told, Jay forgot all about the aliens at first; he was too giddy with anticipation at today's trip to the Giant Ninjago Hadron Collider. It was the first thing that popped into his head when he woke up. _And_ he'd get to hobnob with Dr. Borg, too! What more could a closet tech nerd ask for?

Kai, groggily making his bed, glanced over to a humming Jay.

"What was up with the weird nightmares?" he asked.

"Weird nightmares?" Jay blinked over at him oddly.

"You don't remember? You woke up in the middle of the night panicking like crazy. I tried to talk to you, and you started yelling that the Metalonian mafia was going to come for us because we had the bedsheets on backwards."

" _What?_ "

"That's what you said." Kai tried not to smile; Jay had been legitimately terrified last night, and he wasn't sure if this was some kind of deep-rooted secret fear of his or what. "You also kept saying we had to go save Nya, because they had her in jail already and they were going to kill her because she was in charge of the laundry."

"I don't remember any of this." Jay laughed blankly. "And I was honestly freaking out about that?"

"Dude, you were practically in tears."

"I was _not!_ " said Jay indignantly.

"You wouldn't know, you can't remember," retorted Kai.

"Well, I wouldn't have been. Imagine, panicking about bedsheets!" Jay trailed off, looking off into space for a moment, then looked at Kai askance. "They . . . don't actually have Nya in jail, right?"

"Definitely not. Especially not the Metalonian mafia one." Kai paused. "I would know. I went down the hall to check."

Jay laughed.

"It was the middle of the night, and you were convincing!" said Kai, feigning irritation. He yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Man, what a night though. I don't know what's eating you people, but it'd better stop."

At the mention of eating people Jay grimaced, suddenly remembering the aliens. He and Cole would have to carry them along while visiting Dr. Borg . . . All at once the day ahead seemed a liiiiiittle less exciting.

* * *

On the way down the hallway, Jay peeked into the kitchen. The aliens were both splashing around in the washtub again, chirping a happy melody. Jay watched them for a second, chewing the inside of his cheeks. They looked so _innocent_ , darnit! They couldn't possibly be planning to destroy the planet, right? They'd totally have started by now if they were!

Or . . .

Wait.

Wait.

What about all those other aliens, the ones who had died when the ship crashed? There must have been a lot of them. What if they originally _had_ planned to destroy humanity, but too many of them had been lost? What if these two, realizing they couldn't do it alone, were pretending to be innocent and harmless until reinforcements arrived?

What if they were sending out signals to call those reinforcements all this time?

What if the reinforcements were already on the way?!

What if—

"Jay!"

The lightning ninja yelped and jumped a good three feet when somebody rapped lightly on the back of his head. He whirled around to find it was just Cole, giving him an odd look.

"What're you so jumpy about?"

"Who's jumpy?" snapped Jay, still catching his breath. Cole shook his head.

"Whatever. Hurry up and get some breakfast, Zaptrap—I've already eaten, and Dr. Borg's not gonna wait all morning. You can stare at your aliens all you want when we take 'em to Dr. Borg."

"They're not _my_ aliens! You said yourself they're not pets!" sputtered Jay, but Cole was already heading off. Grumbling, Jay headed to the mess hall. There he found Zane munching cornflakes, the falcon on his shoulder nibbling his hair, while Nya and Lloyd seemed to be conniving over something at the end of the table.

"What's going on?" asked Jay.

"Lloyd is never having coffee ever again," said Nya, looking up wearily.

"You gave him coffee?"

"He kept nagging that he wanted to try it, and he seemed sleepy, so I made him a weak cup. And it still went straight to his head."

"Kn-nock it off," grumbled Lloyd, who was looking a little pale and shaky. He clutched the edge of the table with both hands, staring doggedly at the almost-empty cup of coffee before him. "I'm fiiiine."

"Rrrrrright. Except _this_ happens." Nya shoved a scrap of paper across the table.

"Is that his EKG?!" asked Jay, alarmed by the erratic squiggles dancing up and down across the paper.

"No. That's what happened when I asked him to draw a straight line."

Jay stared at the paper, then at Lloyd.

"Yeeeeah. Lloyd, you are never having coffee ever again."

"Just t-takes acclimation," gritted Lloyd, and gulped down the remainder of the cup before Nya could stop him. He grimaced as it went down. "How do you g-guys _drink_ this stuff? It tastes like gutter water."

"You know what gutter water tastes like?" Nya said sardonically. She happened to be fond of coffee herself.

Jay sat trying to swallow some scrambled eggs, listening to the warbling and sloshing coming from the kitchen. Those aliens were . . . perfectly happy little critters, after all . . . and even if they were just _pretending_ to be innocent, they'd keep right on pretending while he and Cole were taking them to Dr. Borg, right?

Right.

Unless they saw an opportunity to attack when they realized they were no longer outnumbered . . .

Gahhhh. Why did he _give_ himself such thoughts?

"You should probably be setting out," said Misako, coming in from the kitchen with Mopp in her arms. "Please do hurry back, though. I want to study the aliens' reaction to music—they seem to warble in a very musical way. It might be a lead to an understanding of their language."

"H—huh. Cool," managed Jay, forcing a smile. "Music has charms to soothe the savage beast, right?"

"If you want to call them savage beasts," grinned Nya, tickling Meep's side as he skittered by. Jay chuckled as if he'd been joking all along, but he and Lloyd (who was twitching in a highly caffeinated fashion) exchanged gloomy looks.

At last Jay gave up on breakfast and went to get geared up. He and Cole were both wearing large and rather dorky-looking camping backpacks (which Cole was not pleased about), into which they stuffed an alien each.

"I hope they have the good sense to keep quiet," sighed Cole, tightening the shoulder straps on his pack. "I don't want to have to explain why I'm wearing a mewling backpack in the middle of Borg Industries Tower, like some kind of . . . I dunno, hiker. Who smuggles pets. Small squeaky illegal pets. Into corporate headquarters."

"Yeah." Jay was hoping a whole bunch of other things too. "Well, they seem to stay pretty quiet when someone's holding 'em, so maybe this'll be the same."

As if to contradict him directly, Mopp blurbled from inside Jay's pack and began to squirm. Jay gulped.

Lloyd and Zane were readying for takeoff as Jay and Cole stepped onto the _Bounty's_ deck. Zane summoned his dragon and lofted smoothly into the air, his falcon circling him like a feathery satellite. Lloyd, however, seemed to be glitching. He had to try three times before his dragon would stay summoned long enough to take off. When he finally did get the ephemeral lizard under control, its wings beat at double the usual rate. And not necessarily in-sync, either.

"Awh man," groaned Cole, staring upwards as the coffee-high ninja nearly zigzagged into a tree. "And he's got the _city_ patrol. New Ninjago City is going to be the world's largest pinball machine today."

Jay was too busy focusing on summoning his dragon—which was hard when he was this nervous—to venture any kind of reply.

Zane arced off to begin his country patrol, the sun flashing off his titanium shell as he waved. Lloyd, Cole, and Jay were all heading in the same direction, but it couldn't be said they stayed in tight formation. Mostly Cole and Jay flew along and tried not to get hit by Lloyd.

"Y'know, as long as the aliens behave themselves," said Cole, raising his voice above the rush of passing air, "I'm actually kinda looking forward to this."

"Yeah?" said Jay noncommittally. He was trying to concentrate on the usual thrill of flying—but he could feel Mopp squirming around inside the backpack, probably curious about the strange sensation of dragon flight.

"Yeah—I guess that particle smashing thingy has got to be pretty cool." Cole grinned. "At least, I'd like to see if it was worth that show you put on the other day."

"Mm." Jay was only half-listening. Cole raised an eyebrow, puzzled.

"Hey." He swerved his dragon a little closer, nearly clipping Jay with one misty wing. "What's eating you?"

Gahhh. Did everyone usually use _that_ phrase _this_ much?

Jay was saved from having to answer by Lloyd suddenly plummeting from overhead, lurching his dragon into line with the other two ninjas'.

"You know, I think I'm starting to like this feeling!" he shouted across. "It's like an adrenaline high, only lasts longer!"

That said, he turned a sharp barrel roll and fluttered off again. Cole and Jay looked after him with some dismay.

"I'm starting to wonder if it was _coffee_ Nya gave him," said Jay at length. Cole laughed resignedly.

"Anyway, it'll be nice to get some scientific advice on these aliens," he resumed. "And one of my old classmates actually got a job at Borg Industries a little while ago; maybe I'll get to see her."

"Classmates?" Jay looked over, suddenly curious.

"Well yeah. I went to _school_ , you know," said Cole, daring Jay to retort that he'd gone to plenty of school himself. When Jay didn't take the bait, he continued. "Anyway, I knew her till fourth grade; her name was Mindy. We, uh . . . didn't get along that great, let's say." He chuckled sheepishly.

"Mindy, huh?" Jay looked up pensively for a moment. Then he glanced over at Cole again, smirking a little in disbelief at himself. ". . . Is she hot?"

Cole looked at him for a moment.

"Do you start _all_ your relationships this way?"

Jay laughed. His dragon twisted its head around to breathe a cloud of harmless sparks in Cole's direction, then shot ahead.

They arrived at New Ninjago City, and Lloyd split off to begin his patrol—though not before inadvertantly mowing down a skyscraper's satellite spire. Jay and Cole landed their dragons right by Borg Industries Tower.

"I _really_ hope Borg's updated his antivirus this time around," said Cole, his hands on his hips as he squinted up the tower's shining sides.

"I hope he doesn't want his assistant back," retorted Jay. "I don't think Zane can afford a lobotomy. In either sense."

They went up to the front desk and explained that Dr. Borg wanted to see them. While the receptionist paged Dr. Borg to let him know they were there, the two ninja looked around the lobby idly. There'd been some changes made since they were last here.

Jay was inspecting a fiber-optics display when he heard Cole make an excited sound.

"Mindy! Hey, hold on—it's me, Cole!"

"Cole?!"

Jay started at the sweet, bubbly voice, tinted with surprise. He turned around—and caught his breath.

* * *

 **Hee hee. Let's see where this goes . . .**

 **I guess this is as good a time as any to list out the ninjas' patrol schedule; there is indeed a method to the madness.**

 **Day 1: Lloyd country, Kai city**

 **Day 2: Jay country, Cole city**

 **Day 3: Zane country, Lloyd city (that's the one in this chapter!)**

 **Day 4: Kai country, Jay city**

 **Day 5: Cole country, Zane city**

 **Then it repeats. There's also the kitchen-duty schedule, which is worked awkwardly around this one because Nya also takes a turn cooking. Eventually the two schedules are going to fall out of sync so somebody gets patrolling and cooking in the same day, but they're hoping the _Bounty_ will be repaired before then. :P**


	8. Stand Back, We're Gonna Try Science

**Holy stone muffins! Has anyone been watching the early-leaked episodes of Season 6? I'm not gonna give you any spoilers, so no worries there. But have you guys SEEN Jay's Airjitzu suit? THERE IS A BLUE OCTOPUS ALIEN ON IT!**

 **Yeah, yeah, I know, it's probably just a weird dragon or whatever. But dannnnngit, I reserve the right to get unreasonably excited about things that resemble blue octopus aliens. Especially when they're on Jay. XD**

 **That said, anyone have opinions on Season 6?**

 **Bayboo20: Thanks for the review! I'd have sent you a PM, but I wasn't sure you'd get it, what with the maybe-possibly password issues you mentioned. ^_^'' Updates every Tuesday, at least for now!**

 **Yeah, I have a relative with sleep apnea, so I knew enough about it for a mention. Glad someone could relate to it! Kai wasn't talking about the breathing masks, though—my relative uses one of those too sometimes, but he** **also has these little plastic things he can put right into his mouth and snap over his upper and lower teeth. I think it holds the airway open or something. He definitely can't talk through it, and you also can't see when he's wearing it. W** **hich is useful here, since Lloyd doesn't want the others to know he's wearing something to keep him from cursing them all in their sleep. ;P**

* * *

 **Sept 5**

 **10:24 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

She was lovely. Truly. Bright eyes, cute smile, a trim little pale-blue dress suit that made her look like she'd stepped straight out of an anime. There was such a professional air about her; she was looking up at Cole with a hint of exasperation in her smile, as if remembering their fourth-grade squabbles, but she still shook his hand warmly and said it was great to see him again.

"And that's Jay," said Cole, gesturing. "Jay, this is Mindy."

Jay reminded himself to close his mouth. He would very much like _not_ looking like a complete dork in front of this dainty sugar-coated marvel.

"H-hi," he stammered, stepping closer. "Nice to . . . Uh . . . Uhh . . . "

So much for that plan.

Mindy giggled silently as if used to this kind of reaction.

"Nice to meet you too," she said, extending a hand. "I've heard so much about you all in the news."

"Oh, really? Well, uh . . . " Jay trailed off. Everything that came to mind suddenly sounded either stuck-up or falsely modest.

"He's always like that," said Cole helpfully. "So Mindy, what job are you holding here?"

"I'm an innovations manager," said Mindy, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "I work in the department that ensures Borg Industries is always staying on top of the latest technologies. We keep our finger on the pulse of the technology world and recruit all the brightest minds to contribute their talent to the company." She snorted amusedly. "But generic mission statement aside, if you guys know any inventors, I'd love to get introduced to 'em."

"I—I'm an inventor!" said Jay, eyes wide.

"Realllly?" Mindy raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah. And—oh—and Nya, too." Jay sobered a tiny bit, but then pushed ahead. "We both like to tinker and stuff, and we might have some pretty amazing innovations coming up! We just found a—" He caught himself at Cole's warning look. "Well, it's a secret for now. But it's going to be pretty spectacular!"

"I'm intrigued," said Mindy. She glanced away as the receptionist called Cole and Jay's names, waving towards the elevator. "Well, looks like you two have somewhere to go. Think you could swing by my office after your meeting, Jay?"

"Could I!" Jay exclaimed. "I mean—I could. Sure I could! I'd love—well, yeah. I could."

Mindy bobbed her head, smiling.

"Fifteenth floor, take the elevator, turn right at—you know, nevermind. Just ask someone for directions to—" She took out a pen, grabbed a startled Jay's hand, and wrote "Office 1513" on his palm. "See you soon, sweetie! Cole, so nice to see you again. Drop by too if you like!" Winking, she bustled off, a ream of papers clutched to her chest and her high heels clicking briskly against the floor.

Jay barely registered how he got into the elevator. Cole was shaking silently as they started ascending, and eventually Jay's head cleared enough to notice.

"Shut up," he ordered.

"I didn't say anything." Cole's voice was thick with laughter.

"Yeah, well, you were thinking it," retorted Jay. Cole shook his head, unrepentant.

"You're fun to watch, you know that?" he chuckled.

"Hmph." Jay watched the floor number steadily ticking upwards. "How come you never told us about Mindy before?"

"Never saw any reason to," shrugged Cole. "She was just another classmate."

" _Just another_ classmate?!" Jay looked at him in disbelief. "How could you _not_ notice her?!"

"Look, Jay." Cole still sounded a tiny bit amused, but his expression was earnest. "Don't let the cute and bubbly act fool you. She's cute all right, but she also has a mean streak a mile wide if you get on her wrong side. Man-to-man—be careful around her, okay?"

"As if I'd plan to get on her wrong side," scoffed Jay. "You're just harboring grudges from your grade-school enmities."

"Well, maybe I am," admitted Cole. He leaned back against the elevator wall pensively. "There was doomed to be no room for love in our relationship. Not after she put a mousetrap in my desk."

Jay gave a muffled snort.

"Now _you_ shut up," said Cole, grinning.

Dr. Borg had seen photos of the aliens when Lloyd and Kai visited, but he was still ecstatic to meet the real ones. Meep and Mopp exploded into a barrage of " _Weep weep! Weep weep! Weep weep!_ " the second they laid eyes on him, but despite being a man of science the good doctor couldn't understand them any more than the ninja could. Upon hearing that Misako was trying to decipher their language, however, he got very interested and handed Jay and Cole a bunch of papers with advice they didn't understand. Hopefully Misako would, though.

Then Dr. Borg commenced a thorough examination of the two alien creatures. He was very gentle and professional about it, taking the time to explain everything he was doing first. Meep and Mopp were cooperative, seemingly at ease.

Eventually Borg started examining Mopp's wounded leg. It "bled" a little bit, and Cole, suddenly looking queasy, edged away to watch the flickering screens across the room instead. Jay took the opportunity to bring up some of his concerns.

"Dr. Borg," he said quietly, glancing back to Cole. "About these aliens. Do you think there's a chance they could be . . . dangerous?"

"Dangerous?" The technology mogul pushed his glasses into place, looking to Jay quizzically. "In what sense?"

"Well, you know . . . a . . . world-conquering sense." Jay looked down, suddenly feeling intensely embarrassed about bringing something so paranoid-sounding up. It didn't help that Meep and Mopp were currently giggling in their warbly way over a paperweight.

But Dr. Borg nodded, no trace of judgment in his eyes.

"I considered that too," he said, and Jay smiled gratefully. "There are a great number of possibilities. They could possess superior intelligence, they could emit unknown radiation or poison, or they may even be tainted with alien germs, ones which humans possess no immunity to. There could be a plague."

"That's what Kai and Cole seem worried about too," said Jay. "Do you think they're—uhh—germy?"

"My tests haven't revealed anything outside of normal Earth microorganisms so far," said Dr. Borg. "But still, I would keep a careful eye out for quite a while." He patted Meep's head absent-mindedly. "On the other hand, that works in the other direction as well. The aliens may not be equipped to fight off the bacteria found on Earth."

"Oh!" Jay was suddenly reminded of _War of the Worlds_ , where the killer aliens were finally defeated by their inability to deal with Earth germs. "That's the other thing. They kinda look like—"

"The aliens from _War of the Worlds_ , yes," said Borg, nodding. "That was my first thought as well."

"But you don't think it means anything?"

"I think it isn't a cause for concern." Dr. Borg smiled slightly. "After all, that was a purely fictional account, and these creatures certainly seem peaceable enough. Besides, the aliens in that story, if I recall my ninth-grade English class, were noted for their spectacularly developed brains. These aliens—despite their intelligent behavior—seem to possess no brains whatsoever. I wouldn't worry about that particular brand of danger."

Jay broke into a wide smile, relieved. Lloyd was going to like that news. And what a guy that Dr. Borg was! The more Jay got to know him the more he admired him.

After the examination, Dr. Borg fitted Mopp with a better bandage for his injured leg, a high-tech antimicrobial wrap. There was a little private bathroom off the main office, and Borg cheerfully filled the sink and let Meep and Mopp splash around in it. Meanwhile he took Cole and Jay to the Giant Ninjago Hadron Collider, several miles away in an underground facility.

Cole understood none of it, but tagged along amiably as Dr. Borg showed them the ropes and arranged the tests on the alien metal. Jay, on the other hand, was in _heaven_. He had a thousand and one questions about everything, and when the spectral analyses of the ship fragment came back completely unknown—a bizarre new metal, never seen before!—it was the most exciting thing he'd seen since . . . well, since the ship first crashed on their planet. It was hard for aliens to top themselves.

A few hours later they returned to Borg Industries Tower, Jay still in a state of giddy enthusiasm. Cole, who despite his tendency to tease could be mighty considerate when he chose to, offered to grab something to eat and stay with the aliens while Jay went to visit Mindy. Relieved at not having to worry about a chirping backpack—or Cole tripping him up—Jay tracked down office 1513.

"Oh hi!" sang Mindy, opening the door to Jay's knock. "C'mon in! Cole's not coming?"

"Nah, he went to get something to eat," said Jay shyly. "Uhh . . . so . . . you wanted to tell me something?"

"Yes, I had an offer I thought you might be interested in," said Mindy. "One of Borg Industries' partners, ThinkTank Inc., is holding a competition for budding inventors. I'm guessing you've never had any of your inventions patented?"

"Uhh—no," admitted Jay.

"Well then, it's definitely the competition for you," said Mindy. She pulled a flyer out of a drawer and handed it to Jay. "All you have to do is design something new and innovative that wows the judges—and if your invention wins, you get it patented, win a cash prize, and get a deal with ThinkTank to mass-produce it for the public! Not to mention all the publicity." She winked.

"Wow . . . " whispered Jay, gazing reverently at the flyer. "I'm so in!"

Then he thought of Nya. He couldn't let her miss out on something like this; after all, she'd always dreamed of inventing the next big thing too.

"Can I—uhm—does the—well, Nya—" he blurted.

"Ohhhh, that girl who's also an inventor?"

"Well, yeah. She's, uh, she's just my sister's friend—I-I mean, I'm her sister—I mean!—" Jay sputtered himself into a verbal corner. Mindy gave a melodic laugh.

"Don't get so tense about it, sweetie. I have a boyfriend already."

"Oh." Jay blushed.

"But sure," continued Mindy, smiling. "You can both enter separately, or you can work together on a project if you want. Anything goes! I'll be your contact for anything you need to know; you'll have to register through me. The competition is technically only for friends and family of ThinkTank and Borg Industries employees, but I think I would call us friends already." She gave a playful smile as Jay blushed harder. "Good luck, and let me know if there's anything I can help out with! Deadline for entry is in two months."

"Thank you!" Jay actually managed to make it out of the office without embarrassing himself in any fashion. As soon as he was out of sight of the door, he flopped back against a wall and held the flyer out at arm's length to stare at it, grinning like an idiot.

Today just had to be the best day ever. The aliens were safe, he'd had an amazing time with Dr. Borg and the GNHC, and on top of that he'd met a wonderful girl and gotten a possible chance to be _famous!_ To actually get one of his inventions nationally recognized!

Seriously.

Best. Day. EVER.

He supposed his spirits should have been a bit dampened by the knowledge that Mindy had a boyfriend, but somehow he wasn't at all bothered. It was only a business relationship anyway, he told himself cheerfully. She was cute, but he wasn't in love or anything, just infatuated. She was going to help him help Borg Industries by coming up with the next groundbreaking innovation, that was all.

And . . . you know. Stuff could happen. Maybe they'd get to know each other better. Maybe he would fall in love for real, and live for a while in delicious torment, hiding his feelings nobly away. And then maybe she would break up with her boyfriend, and he would come for a visit—purely a business visit, of course!—and find her depressed and furious, and he would finally be able to declare that _he_ had loved her all along, and she would realize for the first time—

Jay shook his head furiously, snapping back to the real world. In his more paranoid moments he sometimes speculated what it would be like if others could read his thoughts, and in this moment he _really_ hoped that wasn't true. Just the idea of Cole knowing the kind of fantasies Jay could cook up made his face burn.

* * *

 **Well dannnng. I again do the dumb thing where I take a mega-long chapter and chop it in half. This is the front end, and the real action doesn't start till the next chapter. Sorreh. T_T**

 **But I always worry it's a bore to read a long mess of text, plus I feel like too much happening in one chunk makes it harder to keep track of the details. Besides** **, slicing and dicing chapters helps me stay well ahead of my posting schedule. :P**

 **Egh, anyway. Your thoughts on Mindy? Borg? Aliens? Cole's grade-school indiscretions? XP**


	9. You're Doing It Wrong

**Zounds. WAT are these psychos doing to Jay lately?!**

 **Urgh. Season 6 is brutal, man. I swear, this thing is T-rated and I think I'm _still_ not planning to get that rough with anyone. Hugs for Jay. All the hugs.**

 **Guest: It is? Well, whoop de do! Jay's octopus aliens confirmed! :D**

 **BlueShoe: Indeed it is, but why that line in particular? . . . ^_^''**

* * *

 **Sept 5**

 **2:56 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Cole and Jay got back to the _Bounty_ to find Kai sprawled out on the sofa, asleep. Meep, seeing an opportunity, cooed and snuggled up to him.

"Well, he's going to be happy when he wakes up," said Cole wryly.

" _Chrrrr,_ " sang Meep, nestling under the fire ninja's chin.

Heartened by the news that the aliens were most probably not dangerous, Jay went back to carrying Mopp around in the hood of his hoodie. He circled the kitchen, humming as he filled one of the basins in the kitchen sink. Kai came in soon enough, rubbing one eye and looking disgruntled.

"Can you keep your aliens off me while I'm sleeping? It's creepy," he grumbled as Meep boinged over his shoulder. Then he looked at the sink. "What are you _doing?_ "

"First off, they're not _my_ aliens. And Dr. Borg said keeping them in fresh water might be a bad idea; their insides are slightly salty, so they might gain too much water by osmosis," explained Jay. "He said to put some epsom salt in their water, but the washtub would need _way_ too much of it. So I'm gonna use the sink! We never use the left basin anyway."

"Theeeeese freaking aliens," groaned Kai, rubbing his forehead. Jay ignored him. Pulling Mopp out of the hoodie, he plopped him into the slightly-salty sink water.

"Like that, little guy?"

" _Vwip vwip!_ " Mopp seemed curious at the new environment, but pleased. Meep flopped down next to the sink and dabbled his tentacles in the water, seemingly checking if it was okay. Then he chirped and settled back, giving the humans a look that was almost unmistakably gratitude.

"Awhh, see? He likes that we're taking care of his little bro!" said Jay.

"Projection," said Kai, but he was smiling in spite of himself. Meanwhile Mopp suddenly pulled himself halfway out of the water, looked to Meep, and gave a long, keening cry. Meep perked up immediately and answered with another shrill note, in a slightly different key. Mopp gave a shorter cry, Meep gave another long one, and the conversation suddenly took off, the aliens alternating perfectly, note by note.

"They're singing," said Jay, amazed. "Misako—"

"I know, I'm on it!" said Misako excitedly, scribbling notes. She already had a tape recorder humming.

"It's beautiful," whispered Nya from the doorway.

The aliens' alternating song meandered on, rising and falling without a single break or hesitation. It seemed eerily impossible. At last it came to a close, and Mopp settled back into the water, chuffing contentedly. Meep slapped the surface lightly.

"I wonder why they suddenly chose to do a duet like that," said Misako, her voice still hushed as she switched off the tape recorder. "It doesn't seem to be a form of conversation; they're so perfectly in synchrony, like . . . like it's a natural song they're born with. Like they merge their minds and become one creature."

"Maybe it's their happy song," said Nya. Jay smiled. Maybe the aliens were having their best day ever too.

Then he remembered the competition. Pulling Nya aside, he showed her the flyer.

"Where did you get this?" asked Nya, her eyes glowing with excitement.

"From Mindy! She's an old classmate of Cole's who works in Borg Industries now; we're gonna have to register through her, since it's a competition for friends of employees."

"But we've never met her," said Nya.

"I have! And she said it'd be okay for you too. She's pretty awesome," said Jay.

For just a second Nya's face fell, and Jay felt a pang as he realized he may have said too much. Nya must think he was falling for Mindy now . . . he hadn't meant to make it seem that way. But somehow, despite the dirty feeling it gave him, he almost _liked_ that. He almost got a wicked satisfaction out of it, knowing that he could make _her_ jealous for a change.

He could see how Nya might have enjoyed Jay and Cole's jealousy over her.

But he wasn't about to be a total heel. He casually assured Nya that it was only a business relationship, and Nya chuckled understandingly and asked what he planned to build for the competition.

"Well, it depends," said Jay. "Do you want to work on something together, or did you have your own idea?"

"It'd be nice to work together . . . " ventured Nya. "How about the alien spaceship? What if we built our own miniature version of it, with the same power source and controls and everything?"

"Yes!" Jay nodded enthusiastically. "That would be awesome!"

They spent a few happy quarter-hours brainstorming, scribbling notes, piling ideas atop each others' ideas. Jay still couldn't get over how purely, unswervingly awesome this day was turning out to be.

Eventually he realized he probably should get some training in before the day was over. He couldn't resist poking his head into the kitchen first; there was _dubstep_ twanging from within.

He found Misako still taking notes, while Meep and Mopp gazed with awe at the screen of a laptop. An online song was playing, and the aliens' gelatinous bodies pulsed slightly in time with the electronic beat.

"They love music," said Misako, looking up. "Electronic music in particular. I haven't been able to convince them to stop listening to dubstep for the past half-hour."

"Maybe we could get them to tell us things by picking certain songs?"

"I'd have to teach them how to use the mouse first," laughed Misako. "And read."

Down the hallway in the living room, Jay found that Zane had returned from his patrol and was now playing a video game with Kai.

"Oh, hey Zane," he said. "Kai, sorry to steal your mission partner, but I wanted Zane to give me a hand with something."

"You can have him," said Kai wearily. "He kinda sucks."

"Awh," said Jay reproachfully, and stopped to watch Zane piloting his avatar. The Nindroid (who had been perfectly adept at video games before the whole Digital Overlord affair), now seemed to be having difficulty with the most basic of movements. Attempting to walk over to assist Kai's character, he instead blundered into a wall. Then he tried to get away from the wall, but instead all he could do was keep walking against it, smacking his character repeatedly against the bricks. Some enemies came along and began belaboring the poor guy with their weapons, but no matter how much Zane tried to turn around and fight them off, all he could manage was to keep smacking his face against that wall. At least he had his sword raised.

Jay attempted to muffle a snicker behind his hands. He couldn't help it.

"Yeah, it was funny the _first_ few times," said Kai, who was taking on a whole bunch of enemies by himself. "But after he lost the game for us _seven_ times . . . "

Suddenly there was a blare of brass instruments, and Zane's avatar slumped over dead. Seconds later Kai's disappeared under a heap of oncoming enemies and died as well.

"Eight times," amended Kai, putting down the controller with a sigh. Zane put down his controller too, trying not to look like it was getting to him. Kai noticed and elbowed him lightly.

"Ah, don't worry about it. You'll get the hang of it eventually; in the meantime, I can get some extra-intense practicing done. After this kind of training, playing with a partner who carries his own weight is going to be super-easy!"

Zane gave him a smile and got up, leaving Kai to start the game again in single-player mode. Jay hustled the Nindroid down the hall, still chuckling.

"Okay, now for something you _can_ do, buddy. I'm gonna help you hone those drawing skills, and then maybe you can help Nya and me draw blueprints for our project. Blueprints of things you've never seen before!"

"I am not sure—" began Zane, but Jay waved him off.

"I know you can do it. You just need to work up to it." He shooed Zane into a chair and handed him a pen. "Okay, here's one. Draw your falcon. Not a blueprint, an actual portrait, like with Nya."

"But this is a pen," said Zane. "I cannot vary the darkness of the strokes as I could with a pencil. It will be impossible."

"Nuh-uh," said Jay. "Plenty of artists draw with pens. They have special methods they use to make up for the single darkness of ink. Think you could figure some of them out?"

Zane sat for a while, fiddling with the pen and staring down at the paper. At last he looked up again, shaking his head. No matter how brave he tried to look, there was an inadvertant hint of "why are you _doing_ this to me?" in his eyes.

"Hey, nevermind," said Jay hastily, realizing he may have just made Zane feel worse. "Not too many people could figure that stuff out on their own anyway. Come on, I'll teach you."

He showed Zane some books and online photos, explaining techniques like crosshatching and spacing strokes. Despite having dabbled in art before, Jay had to admit some of this stuff was news even to him—and possibly beyond what he himself could do. He hoped he hadn't pushed Zane in over his head.

The Nindroid paid careful attention to all the lessons, his expression unreadable. At length he asked permission to borrow Nya's desk lamp, then used it to light his falcon strongly from one side. Then he sat down and began to ink in the strongly contrasting blocks of light and shadow now silhouetting his pet.

"That's it!" exulted Jay, watching over his shoulder. "Zane, that's exactly it! And look, you came up with the idea to light the falcon from the side all by yourself. That means you were able to imagine what it would look like! You _can_ imagine new images!"

"I—I'm not sure," stammered Zane, looking away to hide a smile. "I only realized in a theoretical sense that it would look different in strong light and shadow. I did not explicitly picture it."

"Well, picturing it is only a step away!" Jay refused to be discouraged. "You can do this, Zane. Trust me."

Zane put the finishing touches on his drawing, a quiet smile fixed firmly on his face.

* * *

Evening drew nearer. Jay waited impatiently for Lloyd to return from his city patrol; he couldn't wait to tell him that the aliens weren't dangerous, and Cole's talk of mousetraps had given him an idea for a new prank they could try on Kai. Lloyd, however, didn't show.

At first no one was surprised. The city patrol always took longer, especially now that they were doing extra-thorough patrols looking for the Technicians. Maybe he'd gotten a lead on them or something.

At first they joked that he must have gotten into trouble because of his hair or his caffeine kick, trying to mask their own growing concern and guage if the others were worried too. Gradually the jokes became more and more half-hearted, then finally gave way to a grim silence. A patrol shouldn't take _that_ long. Especially not without Lloyd calling home to explain what was keeping him.

Seven o'clock came and went. It was almost dark. Kai had made dinner, and most of them had eaten, but still no Lloyd. Misako was looking out the window; Kai was plunked on the couch, looking ill at ease.

Jay sat down next to him, swinging his legs. They would have called Lloyd themselves ages ago, but the ship's computer could only receive communicator calls, not send them, and their own communicators had a limited range. Cole leaned his elbows on the back of the couch.

"We may have to go look for—"

He was interrupted by a shout from Nya. She skidded into the living room looking disturbed.

"Guys, I got a call from Lloyd," she cried.

"Where is he?!"

"I don't know," said Nya. "He said something about ice cream."

"Ice cream? . . . " Cole raised an eyebrow.

"But it was really weird!" Nya rattled on. "He was talking all . . . strange. Like he was only half-awake, or . . . or drunk or something. He said something about having to keep moving and ended the call."

A cold silence.

"Okay," said Cole grimly. "Now we've got to track him down. Nya, you monitor the communicator line in case he calls again." Nya nodded and darted back to the control room. "The rest of us, split up. It's possible he might be at—"

"I've got it!" Kai shot to his feet suddenly. "Snow Dragon Ice Cream! The day before yesterday, when I was following those two weird guys, they disappeared into an industrial tunnel. One of the factories opening into that tunnel was Snow Dragon Ice Cream—and Lloyd was there too! He must have been checking the place out today, saw the Technicians going into that door, and followed them in!"

"Are you sure?" asked Cole.

"Almost positive!"

The others exchanged glances for a second. The Cole nodded tersely.

"Okay. Let's go."

* * *

 **Hah! Akshun! At last!**

 **I'm pretty excited for the bit that's coming up next. :3**

 **Anyway! Continuing the tradition of listing weird things: Rooms on the _Bounty!_ Some of these have been pictured in-canon, some of them are my headcanon only. Immuna put a star* on the canon ones. **

**There's a long hall that goes down the middle of the ship. At the end of this hall is Sensei Wu's room*, a tiny laundry room, and Nya's bedroom/workroom. There's a bathroom somewhere on the hall as well.**

 **There's also the ninjas' bunkroom*, with two bunkbeds and an extra bed for Lloyd. There's a separate bathroom connected to the bunkroom as well.**

 **The central control room*, with that fancy computer and front windshield and all.**

 **The living room*, which is also where the TV/game center is.**

 **The one spare room, which is small and full of junk.**

 **The mess hall*, where they eat meals. Connected to the kitchen, natch.**

 **An armory, where they keep their weapons, combat gear, etc.**

 **And a training room*, where they keep the carousels, dummies, weights, and other training equipment.**

 **Then there's the kitchen, which seems to crop up quite often in this story. There's an island/table thingy in there, and a double-basined sink with one of those extendable rinse-hose things. Feels like I haven't seen those in forever . . .**

 **There's also the "belowships," a lower level where they keep the engines, generators, and water, septic, and fuel tanks. (And bilgewater, if they happen to be at sea.)**

 **Anyway! That's the tour. And** **I realized, while writing up this list, that I have no idea where Misako sleeps in all of this. You're an enterprising soul, Misako. You sleep on the clothesline, don't you? :P**


	10. Where's Waldo? Stealth Edition

**So, we hit a nice even ten! Man the time flies. Just wanna say an extra thank you for all the reviews; you guys have been awesome! Thanks for the time, effort, and kind words. ^_^**

 **This might also be a good time to reaffirm that I don't own Ninjago, and that I am not, in fact, reaping any gold from this endeavor. So LEGO, don't sue me. And the Sky Pirates rummaging through my yard with shovels can go home already.**

 **Guest: Thanks for the review! Aww, toy amoeba-octopuses for the win.**

 **Wow, that makes three of us then! I did not realize there were so many people out there who worried about mind readers; I thought it was just me. Which proves that I'm not a mind-reader myself, I guess. XD**

 **Argh, not sure how to feel about 60; it was epic all right, but it was seriously painful to watch too. Skybound's been . . . ehh. It started really well, but then it fizzled.**

 **luv it: Haha, coffee highs are a little different, I think. You don't get hyper, you just get jittery and very . . . very . . . unreasonably happy. Just, everything-is-awesome-and-hilarious happy. It's bizarre. XD**

* * *

 **Sept 5**

 **7:54 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: Lloyd MIA**

* * *

They reached the industrial district of New Ninjago City on their dragons, then walk-jogged the last half-mile to Snow Dragon Ice Cream. The building was dark and silent, seemingly closed for the night. Zane studied the structure.

"The heavy machinery for making the ice cream is probably in the basement," he said. "They must store the ice cream in large freezers before it is shipped; that would probably be the first floor, where the goods can easily be taken to a loading dock. The second and third floors, judging by their closely-spaced windows, must be office space."

"Okay. First floor," said Cole. "Then we can split up."

They jimmied open the personnel door on the loading dock. Just as Cole was about to push it open, Zane laid a hand on his arm.

"Be careful of security cameras," he whispered. "They are probably trained upon the door."

"Well what do we do then?" asked Cole. Zane looked around, then pointed upwards at a tiny ventilation window above the door.

"We're not gonna fit," said Kai. Zane shook his head and waved to his falcon, which was perched on a telephone wire nearby. A flutter of wings, some murmured instructions, and the falcon disappeared through the tiny window. Moments later it returned, its beak full of wires.

"Heh. Not bad," said Cole.

"Good to have you back, my feathered friend," murmured Zane, ruffling the falcon's crest. The falcon chirped and returned to its telephone wire, reluctant to rattle about indoors.

Pushing open the door, they found that the first floor was one vast room, crammed—as Zane had predicted—with row upon row of giant walk-in freezers, all humming steadily. The air was chilly, scented faintly of sugar and vanilla and chemical fruity smells.

"Aha! I can disable the security system first!" whispered Jay, darting towards a door labeled "SECURITY." A few minutes later he poked his head out again, looking puzzled.

"The security system's already off!" he whispered loudly.

"You sure?" asked Cole.

"Positive! All the camera feeds are dead, the console is powered down, everything."

Kai clicked his tongue in grim satisfaction. A non-functioning security system definitely pointed to some fishy business going on in here.

Meanwhile Cole powered up his communicator. If Lloyd was here, he should be well in-range by now.

"Lloyd," he whispered. "Come in, Lloyd!"

For a long time there was only the buzz of a dead line. Then there was a sudden rustle as someone answered.

"Hello? . . . "

"Lloyd!"

"Yeah, it's me."

Lloyd offered no further information, so Cole spoke up again.

"Where are you?"

"Noooo idea." There was an odd shuffling, scraping sound, and something thumped faintly.

"Lloyd, are you okay?"

"Mmhmm."

He didn't _sound_ okay. He sounded weird.

"We're here at Snow Dragon Ice Cream," said Cole, exchanging grim looks with the others. "Is there somewhere we can meet you?"

"Ehhhh, I dunno. Head upstairs or something, I guess? . . . Feels sort've upstairs, anyway." There was the distinctive sound of yawning. "Huh. I'm in a dead-end."

"Lloyd? Where _are_ you? What are you doing?"

The connection shut off. Everyone looked at everyone else.

"Okay then." Cole took a deep breath. "Upstairs."

Silently they set out. They'd only gone about ten paces, though, before the sound of a door slamming froze them in their tracks. Three or four gruff voices mingled together with approaching footsteps. Judging from the sound of it, the group of people was traveling past all the rows of freezers—and they would soon be passing the one where the ninja stood.

Cole swung his hands out in a "scatter, scatter!" motion. He and Kai both skidded to the end of the freezer rows to hide. Jay turned around and around in place, panicked, until Zane grabbed him by the arm and yanked him straight into one of the freezers.

Barely had Zane pulled the door shut than the group walked by that very aisle. They were discussing a recent sports game, innocent enough stuff, but the fact that they were clomping around in a supposedly-closed factory meant nothing good. One of the voices was much too sibilant—a Serpentine. The others sounded human.

Kai and Cole held their breaths. The little group passed uneventfully by, heading for the opposite side of the room.

And then they stopped. Evidently once they got upstairs they would have to get down to business, and they were reluctant to end their conversation just yet. They stood around by the door to the stairwell and casually debated the merits of various ThunderBlades teams, oblivious to the two ninja trading desperate looks nearby. Were Jay and Zane going to be okay in that freezer, not knowing when it was safe to come out? . . .

At long last, somebody grumbled, "Eh, we're late," and the door slammed. Kai and Cole didn't even wait to check if everyone really was gone; they bolted down the aisle.

"Which one was it?!" demanded Kai, looking up and down the long row of freezers. He and Cole dashed down the aisle throwing them open, sending the interior lights blinking on one by one.

"Aha!" Cole gave a muffled yelp and caught himself just before reflexively throwing the freezer shut again. "You guys! Coast is clear!"

Jay had already bolted outside, his teeth chattering. Tendrils of icy mist swirled from the glowing inside of the freezer—and Jay's breath.

"Are you okay?" asked Kai as the blue ninja seemed to bundle into himself, his arms wrapped tightly around his shivering body.

"Freaking—m-minus—twenty—degrees," Jay managed, shaking tiny icicles from his hair. "They were—c-c-considerate enough—to put a therm-m-mometer in there. And all the while _this_ dude—" he pointed accusingly at Zane "—is just chillin' in there. Literally!"

"My apologies," said Zane meekly. "I forgot you are more sensitive to cold than I am."

"Ya think," mumbled Jay, blowing into his fists. Cole and Kai exchanged glances, then shrugged and wrapped their arms around him to help him warm up faster.

"G-geez," stammered Jay, but absorbed the warmth gratefully. Zane tilted his head, puzzled. He was still trying to piece together the methodology of hugs, and this one was destroying all his heuristics.

They got moving again. After listening at the door the Technicians had gone through, they carefully swung it open and scampered up the stairs. A stairwell was a _terrible_ place to be caught.

Reaching the second floor, they again listened at the door. No voices in the immediate vicinity. Holding his breath, Cole pushed the door slightly open and peeked through. Nobody there. But he heard voices off in the distance, in a cubicle or office somewhere. Lots of them.

The others piled in from behind. Wary of approaching too close to the Technicians meeting that must be underway, they slipped off in the opposite direction.

"We need some kind of logical plan!" hissed Jay, not daring to raise his voice above breathing volume. "We can't just go looking through offices willy-nilly!"

The others looked around, trying to pick a pattern out of the blocks of offices built around the edges of the level and the maze of cubicles built into the center.

"Okay," whispered Cole. "Kai, Zane, you take the cubicles. Jay and I will—"

He never finished. A shaft of light suddenly burst from an office a few doors down.

"Yeah, yeah, keep yourssssssselves in one piece," someone shouted from within. "I'm gonna get the ssssssucker activated."

"Oh snap!" gritted Jay. The Serpentine's voice was coming in their direction.

"Change of plans! Hide!" ordered Cole.

The nearest available place was another office. Zane threw open the door, and everyone whisked through—except Kai, who seemed to be rooted on the spot, staring towards the approaching voice.

"Kai!" yelped Cole softly. "What _gives?!_ "

Kai shook himself as if waking from a trance and bolted after the others. They shut the door and leaned against it, listening to the sound of footsteps passing by outside.

"Why are we hiding?!" whispered Jay impatiently. "We could take this one guy, geez!"

"We can't afford to let them know we're here," Cole whispered back. "Not until we find Lloyd. Preferably not at all. If they know we've been snooping around, they're going to start holding their meetings somewhere else! As it is, we can come back here to spy on them whenever we want."

Jay rolled his eyes grudgingly and turned to Kai for backup. Then he stopped. Kai was slouched back, glaring over his shoulder as if he'd suddenly developed a deep and personal hatred of the wall—although more likely his beef was with the Serpentine on the other side.

"Kai?" asked Jay, puzzled. "Do you—"

Suddenly there was a howl of rage, bone-chillingly close. Everyone froze—it must have been in the adjacent office.

"The prisoner has essscaped!" roared the Serpentine, thundering past their door again. "Lock everything down! Find him!"

A muffled commotion started up outside the office as the other Technicians spilled out of their meeting room. The ninja looked at each other wide-eyed. Prisoner. _Lloyd_.

Then there was a metallic crash right by their ears. Everyone jumped.

"The door!" Cole reached out to rattle the knob. "It's locked!"

"They must have locked down the entire facility," said Zane. "Every single door in this building has probably been electronically barred now."

Silence. Grim looks. The babble outside continued, now more diffuse and purposeful. The Technicians were searching the building—room by leisurely room, battering down the locked doors—and they would eventually get to the office where the ninja were hiding. Or worse, the one where _Lloyd_ must be hiding. There was no way for them to get out of the room without breaking down the door themselves, which would make enough noise to alert the entire posse. Even if they did somehow batter it down and make a break for it, they would be slowed every step of the way by more and more locked, bolted, barred, or metal-grated doors.

This did not look good.


	11. The Creepypastas Made it Look Easy

**Guest: Thanks! And good prediction about that door! I had to tweak a little bit of the later dialog to account for that. ;)**

* * *

 **Sept 5**

 **9:26 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: Lloyd MIA**

* * *

"Weapons ready," gritted Cole. "When they come in to search this room, it'll be easier for us if we hold the doorway."

"But what if they find Lloyd first?" asked Kai. Cole looked away silently. Kai hung his head, but pulled out his katana and swayed into the ready stance, resigned.

Then there was a muffled thud. Everyone tensed. Were the Technicians at the door already?

The thud came again, now mixed with a shuffling sound. It wasn't coming from the door after all, it . . . where _was_ it coming from?

"What's going on?" whispered Jay as the four ninja slowly backed into a tight formation in the center of the room, weapons drawn. "What _is_ it?"

The commotion outside seemed to fade away as their ears strained to pick up this more immediate, unknown threat. It almost seemed to be coming from—

Suddenly there was a crash, a metal grating flew out of its socket in the ceiling, and a familiar bundle of green tumbled out, landing hard on the office's desk. A cloud of scattered papers fluttered down as the figure sat up, shaking out a mop of blond hair.

"Lloyd!"

"Oh. Hey guys." Lloyd nodded hello as if falling out of AC ducts was perfectly standard practice.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" asked Cole.

"Pretty good, how're you?" shrugged Lloyd, sliding to his feet. He took a step, then wobbled violently and fell back against the desk, grumbling under his breath.

"Lloyd?" The others drew closer. Something was definitely off.

"Gimme a sec." Lloyd covered a yawn. "They don't make . . . oxygen like they used to."

He shook his head hard; he seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open. The others exchanged uneasy looks. Zane stepped forward and gently held Lloyd's head steady, pulling back one of his eyelids.

"Heyyyyyy," drawled Lloyd, swatting ineffectually in the general direction of Zane's arm. There were raw marks on his wrists and hands—he must have broken or sloughed off some kind of restraints. The Nindroid checked Lloyd's pulse and reaction time, then pulled back and confirmed what everyone already suspected.

"He's been drugged."

Kai muttered a few words probably never before uttered in an office space.

"Okay." Cole ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, we've got to get out of here."

Suddenly they all realized that the buzz of the searching Technicians seemed much closer now. Lloyd's noisy entrance must have alerted them to look in this area of the building.

"What do we do?" asked Jay, panicky. Cole grimaced.

"Hold the doorway."

"Ehh." As the others fell into battle stances again, eyes trained on the door, Lloyd broke away and began to meander around the edges of the room. "There's like . . . eighty of them. An' they have really weird weapons."

"Well what do we do then, come out with our hands up?" asked Kai bitterly.

There was a sudden rattling, scraping sound. Everyone whirled to find Lloyd dragging the cover off another AC duct, this one built into the wall.

"Come on," he said, yawning.

The others hesitated. They had no way of knowing where those ducts led, if they could support five humans' weight, and whether they were wide enough to crawl through. But on the other hand it was almost certain that they would open into _some_ place the ninja could escape from. Not to mention the Technicians would never think to look for them in there!

Lloyd had already disappeared into the shaft, drowsily purposeful. A moment more of uncertainty; then the door to the office jolted violently. The hinges creaked.

"Go!" mouthed Cole. Zane slipped into the narrow metallic tunnel as Cole guarded the door, motioning for Kai and Jay to go next.

A Serpentine accent again mixed into the grumbled conversation outside. The Technicians were taking their time, not yet aware that this room was the one they wanted. Jay was about to scramble into the AC shaft, but he looked back and saw that Kai had once again frozen, staring through the door with blazing eyes. What was _up_ with that?

"Move!" hissed Jay, grabbing Kai's arm and shoving him towards their escape route. Kai twitched angrily, but nodded and clambered in. Jay dove in next, heart pounding; behind him he could hear Cole sliding into the duct and pulling the cover back into place. They were almost home free!

The shaft was cold and narrow and strongly scented of dust. It proceeded horizontally for about five feet, then turned straight upwards for five, then turned horizontal again. Jay squeezed through the first bend with some difficulty—it was a tight fit, you had to twist just the right way—then scrambled up to the higher level and crawled after the others, following the noise of hands and knees shuffling over metal.

Behind him he heard a stifled sound of dismay. Then a lot of scrabbling and thudding.

"Cole?" He looked over his shoulder.

"I'm stuck!" Cole's voice bounced up to him.

"Guys, wait up!" Jay shouted ahead. The others' shuffling stopped. By some miracle, Jay managed to twist himself around, crawling back to the vertical section. Cole was halfway up, wedged in the first right-angle bend.

"Something's caught my clothes," he said breathlessly. "I can't move!"

"Well, you'd better!" said Jay, feeling his heartrate speeding up even more. When the Technicians got into the room, they would hear Cole struggling and know to look down the grate. And where Cole was right now, he could still be shot.

"I _can't_ ," said Cole. His voice was tight with panic, and his breath was rapidly becoming shallow and much too fast.

"Dangit Cole, you can't be claustrophobic!" hissed Jay. "You're the Master of Earth!"

"Well we're not underground." Cole sounded like he was coming unglued.

"Pretend we are! Pretend you're in a nice tunnel somewhere!" said Jay desperately. "Pretend—"

"Shut up Jay, just please shut _up_." Maintaining patience and warding off a full-blown panic attack were mutually incompatible tasks, and Cole seemed to be failing at them both. Claustrophobia is no joke.

Setting his teeth, Jay groped down and grabbed Cole's hand, tugging vehemently. "Come on! Just relax Cole, you're fine. It's only the tension keeping you stuck, you need to relax and take it slow. The tunnel is much wider up here! It's just that one narrow bit, I swear. Come on. I'm right here Cole, it's only a few feet and you'll be safe! Come on!"

He ran out of words. Cole had stopped struggling. He was shivering and breathing hard, eyes squeezed shut; it was pretty clear the walls were closing in on him even more than they already had.

"Dangit Cole . . . " whispered Jay. He could hear the Technicians still crashing at the door. They'd break it down any second now, and Cole still couldn't move. Jay snatched at straws.

"Okay, listen pal, I am serious. Pull yourself _together_ , all right? Buck up already!" He yanked at Cole's arm again, hoping fervently that he could anger him into reacting. "What kind of wimp panics the minute they have to climb in a stupid tunnel? Call yourself a ninja? You're a—a disgrace to ninjas, that's what!"

"Jay . . . " The word was oddly drawn-out.

"Ohhh, and now you're gonna _cry_ about it, are ya?" Jay bit back tears himself. "Well fine! Stay there! Get shot! I'm not gonna stick around and wait for you to give us away." He let go of Cole's hand roughly and wriggled back only a foot or two, trying to make it sound like he was going all the way down the shaft. Then he held his breath and waited.

Too many moments slipped by. Cole didn't follow. Jay closed his eyes and let his forehead drop against the back of his hands. Perfect. His brother was about to die, and the last thing he'd ever said to him was insults.

"Cole," he called softly, wondering if he could still take it back—

—But before he could even start to wriggle forward, there was a shudder of motion, a long growl of tearing fabric, and suddenly Cole was bursting into the higher section of the shaft, safe. His head cracked against Jay's none too gently; gasping, he flopped down to catch his breath.

"Cole!" Jay felt dizzy with relief. Or maybe it was the blow to the head.

"Huh," mumbled Cole. "You're right, it _is_ wider up here. Practically roomy. I thought you were lying about that."

Jay let out his breath slowly.

"I'm sorry." He felt like it needed to be said.

"Eh, no. It helped."

"No it didn't."

"Juuust shut up, Jay." Cole's voice was almost back to normal. Jay rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything the shaft echoed with the crash of the Technicians finally breaking into the office. Both the ninja fell deathly still; Jay felt his stomach twist as a slew of possibilities spilled into his brain. What if the Technicians noticed the papers Lloyd had scattered? Or the ceiling grating that had fallen behind the desk? Or what if Cole's struggling had knocked loose the wall grating?

But the sound of movement and irate conversation lasted only a few seconds, then drifted out of the room. A distant thumping began as the searchers started on the next door. They were safe!

Snorting softly with relief, Jay prepared to miraculously turn around again. He was preempted when Cole suddenly fumbled through the dark, grabbed his arm, and squeezed as hard as he could—which for Cole, was pretty darn hard.

"Thanks," he whispered.

Jay winced, an inadvertant "ow" escaping him, but smiled and punched where he estimated Cole's shoulder would be. Then he twisted around to rejoin the others.

"Is everything okay?" Kai's voice echoed softly from up ahead. Jay realized that the entire fiasco must have been perfectly audible down the length of the air duct; maybe he was imagining it, but he could've sworn he could _feel_ Cole's face heating up behind him.

"Eh, it's all good now," he said casually. "Let's keep moving before those creeps hear us. How's Lloyd?"

"Stoned," said Kai grimly. "He's awake, but he's just kinda been hanging around in his own little world all this time."

"I have him by the foot." Zane's voice echoed even more than usual. "Otherwise he would probably have continued without us."

Jay stifled a growl. Somebody was going to pay dearly for this; you messed with one ninja, you messed with all of 'em.

They crawled along for a while. From up ahead Lloyd's scrabbling suddenly became much more vehement.

"Drop-off," he announced, and from the sound of it slid casually right off the edge.

"Hey! That could lead all the way down to the circulation pump!" called Kai sharply. There was no reply. Zane, next in line, sighed and slipped down the descending shaft too. His metal hands and feet made a spine-twisting screeching sound as he braced himself between the two walls of the shaft, slowing his descent.

One by one the others followed. The drop seemed endlessly long.

"Come on." Lloyd's voice echoed eerily from below. There was a sudden crash, and the shaft grew brighter as Lloyd kicked out a wall grating.

One by one they reached the opening and tumbled out. Jay was struck by a brief wash of agoraphobia—after so long shimmying through a tiny metal tunnel, the room seemed so _big!_ The fear quickly passed, though, to be replaced by pure relief. Confident that the Technicians were still hunting cluelessly around on the second floor, they all stopped for a moment to rest. Cole glanced ruefully down his back; his shirt was torn open from top to bottom, flapping loosely around his torso.

"We are in the basement," announced Zane, looking around. They had landed on a metal catwalk of sorts, built into the wall. Below them glinted a maze of convoluted machinery and giant vats full of ice-cream-in-progress, some of them churning slowly to prepare batches for tomorrow. The scent of cream, sugar, and flavoring was near-overpowering here.

"Well, at least we know the company isn't _just_ a front for a creepy criminal ring," sighed Cole. "They really do make ice cream."

"Are you kidding?" said Jay. "Snow Dragon is one of the _best_ ice creams! I'm pretty sure they're the only company in the whole world that makes watermelon sherbet."

"Mehhh. Give me cake any day."

"They make birthday cake ice cream too," offered Kai.

". . . You have my full attention."

Meanwhile Lloyd was swaying patiently off to one side, regarding everyone with groggy eyes and yawning occasionally.

"Come on," he mumbled, bringing the moment of levity to a sharp end. He looked up and down the length of the catwalk, found there were no other AC ducts, and seemed inclined to climb back into the one they'd just exited.

"Woah, woah." Cole tugged him back gently. "There's more to life than cooling ducts, buddy. We're gonna take the stairs, 'kay?"

"Uhhh, yeah . . . about that . . . " said Kai.

Looking around, the others realized for the first time that there _were_ no stairs leading up to this catwalk. Just breaks in the railing where stairs should have been.

"Well how does _this_ work?" demanded Jay.

"The catwalks must not be in active service," said Zane. "They were probably deemed unsafe and the stairs removed to prevent access."

It was only now that they also noticed how dangerously the catwalk was creaking under their weight. Everyone subconsciously drew a little closer to the wall.

"Welllllll," said Jay at last. "Now what?"

Lloyd settled back against the wall, looking like he'd love to fall asleep. He'd done fine in the half-conscious fixation of traveling from air duct to air duct, but now that the pattern was broken he seemed at a complete loss. Zane peered over the railing and declared it too high to safely jump down—especially with Lloyd in his current state.

"I know! There," said Kai suddenly, pointing. At the far end of the catwalk there was a machine apparently used for packaging the ice cream. It was pretty tall; they'd be able to climb down it.

"Okay, let's move then." Cole crouched down next to a half-asleep Lloyd and shook his shoulder lightly. "C'mon, squirt. Just a little further."

Lloyd muttered something, his head nodding. Cole shook him again, to no effect.

"Jay?" Cole looked up resignedly. Jay sighed. He'd hoped it wouldn't come to this—

Lloyd awoke with a yelp as a jolt of electricity passed through him. Jay lowered one sparking hand.

"Sorry, pal. You awake now?"

Grumbling and rubbing his eyes, Lloyd clambered to his feet.

"Wharrever. Come on. We still have to find the level boss . . . They're hiding them, y'know? They think we don't know. But we're onto 'em!" He caught at the railing for balance. The others exchanged pained looks. Stepping forward, Zane gently nudged Lloyd in the right direction until he started to walk.

They proceeded quickly down the catwalk, which continued to creak and bounce horrifically under their feet. They were too eager to get out of there to slow down, but they stayed far apart to spread out their weight.

Jay, in the very back, knew no situation so intense that he couldn't be distracted by heavy machinery. He couldn't resist peering down over the railing as they walked, watching the slowly gyrating paddles folding sweetened cream over and over themselves. Above one particular vat he stopped.

"Oh hey! This is where they make the watermelon sherbet!"

Cole, just ahead of him, stopped and glanced downwards as well. A large tank was slowly feeding thick maroon syrup into a churning vat of pinkish-red slurry.

"Yeah?" said Cole, unimpressed. "Could be strawberry or something."

"No way. You smell that watermelon?" Jay took a deep breath.

"Smells like chemicals," said Cole.

"You have no taste," said Jay hotly. He straightened up to continue, pushing off the railing—which gave way. Jay yelped, windmilling furiously for balance as the broken railing crashed into the mixing vat below. For a second he thought he could catch himself; then he fell.

"Gotcha!" Entirely by reflex, Cole managed to catch Jay by the ankle, leaving him swinging hard, upside-down. For a second they were both equally startled. Then Cole blinked, looked from Jay to the vat below, and gave a hint of a smirk.

"Decisions, decisions . . . " he singsonged.

"Not funny!" Jay was suddenly all too sharply aware of his insults barely half an hour ago. "H—hey!"

Cole chuckled and gave a quick tug, tossing him safely up onto the catwalk.

"I thought you _liked_ watermelon."

Jay gave him a dry grin, relieved.

"Wise g—"

Apparently tossing ninjas onto this particular section of catwalk exceeded its weight limit. With a screech, the rusty metal snapped away and dumped them both into the syrup tank below. The tank groaned and toppled over in turn, flooding the floor with artificial watermelon and coughing ninjas.

"Guys!" Kai, Zane, and a woozy Lloyd hastily clambered down the packaging machine.

"Are you all right?" asked Zane, stopping at the steadily-spreading border of the syrup spill. Cole rubbed one eye, grimacing.

" _Dangit_ this stuff burns. You just _had_ to have your watermelon sherbet, huh Jay?"

"Ughhh . . . " Jay tried to lift his arms, drawing long strands of pinkish slime from the floor. "I think it's time for a new favorite flavor."

"Can you two clowns please be serious?" Normally Kai would have laughed, but right now he was as tired and anxious as any of them. Lloyd was nodding off on his shoulder, his eyes dull, and the Technicians would probably be coming down to investigate the racket within minutes. "Great. After all that trouble we went to staying hidden, they're gonna know there were more of us in here after all. Lloyd couldn't have destroyed that much on his own."

Sighing, Cole and Jay clambered to their feet.

"Guess we don't need to be stealthy now," said Cole. "Straight out the back door."

The basement exit was now blocked by a thick metal security gate. Zane backed up, intending to Spinjitzu it into submission, but Jay raised a hand.

"One sec." Shaking leftover syrup from his sleeves, he squished over to the doorframe and tapped up and down the edge for a minute, his expression intent. Then he poked at one particular spot and sent a stream of electricity gushing into the metal. A faint mechanical whir, and the door retracted smoothly into its slot.

"And you couldn't have done that _before_ we climbed into those AC ducts?" said Cole wearily.

"Hey, I'd have to do this every time we came to a door," retorted Jay. "Would you rather stand around waiting for me to hack into the stairwell while a posse of angry Technicians wanders around? And me panicky and hitting all the wrong spots? And possibly setting off alarms? And—"

Cole sighed and raised his hands in concession.

They slipped out into the concrete tunnel, Kai nudging Lloyd before him. Luckily there were no Technicians guarding the tunnel—at least not that the ninja could see.

"We're out!" whispered Jay, his voice echoing faintly. Lloyd shook himself from his daze and squinted around groggily.

"We're out?"

"Yeah, Lloyd. We're pretty much home free."

"Phew," said Lloyd, and passed out as if someone had flicked a switch. Kai grabbed his shirt before his head could hit the wall. The others blinked in silence.

"I feel like wringing some necks," said Cole hollowly. Kai gave a growl of agreement, adjusting his hold on the younger ninja.

"Now's not the time. I'll fly him home."

Cole nodded.

"Just hang on a sec. I'll go out first and make sure there's nobody around to see us. When you hear my whistle, that means the coast is clear for the rest of you to follow."

A chorus of quiet affirmations. Cole pattered to the end of the tunnel and disappeared; seconds later there was a bright tan flash as he powered up his dragon. The others waited, beginning to feel tired and achy as the adrenaline wore off.

Lloyd squirmed and mumbled something the others couldn't hear. Kai raised his eyes heavenwards, reddening, and tried to keep the unconscious teenager from sliding to the floor.

"Seriously, kiddo," he murmured, brushing Lloyd's too-long bangs back from his eyes. "If this is your idea of revenge on me, I think I'll stay on your good side."


	12. And They Don't Even Have Pockets

**Howdy folks! No guesses about what Lloyd was saying last chapter? Heh, okay then!**

 **And now it comes time to drag out a headcanon that reallllllly should have ended with "Saturniidae" . . . That's one of my earlier stories, and technically it doesn't even occur in the same "universe" as this one. But for some reason I've decided to drag over this one subplot, even though it probably doesn't even belong in an innocent world like Ninjago . . .**

 **Ahh. Dinna question mae madness! *mixes test tubes with mad furor***

 **Oh, and by the way folks; let me know if the snarking in here ever gets to be too much. I love writing banter, but I know how fast it can kill the fun if it starts to seem mean-spirited. So please feel free to give me a heads-up if it ever starts bugging you! I'd rather know _before_ it starts making anyone uncomfortable. **

**Or if anything else is getting on your nerves, for that matter. I'm open to concrit!**

 **Kairocksrainbows: Thanks!**

 **A Big Fan: Oh wow, thank you! So glad you're having fun.**

 **Huh, so I write a convincing drunk/drugged person then, huh? Man, and I've never even seen a really wasted person in real life. XD Thank goodness, too . . .**

 **Welllllll, I didn't break up Nya and Jay** ** _just_** **so I could pair Jay with Mindy . . . Not** ** _just._** **I'm not a huge Jaya fan myself, but I do have some plans laid out for those two. Sorry I can't tell you more, I don't want to give it away to everyone who reads this . . . but if you're willing to stick around, I hope you'll like what I've got planned. ^_^''**

* * *

 **Sept 6**

 **7:14 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Jay and Kai**

 **Status conditions: Lloyd out of commission**

* * *

It had been a rough night. Misako, understandably, was shaken to hear her son had been drugged with who-knows-what by who-knows-who. Nya and Sensei Wu were worried too; Nya drew a little of Lloyd's blood, and she and Zane ran tests on it.

"Barbiturates," said Zane grimly. "The compounds were formerly quite common in sleep-aid medications, but their usage has decreased in recent times due to their potentially dangerous nature."

"Dangerous?" Cole's brows lowered.

"It is possible to overdose on them," said Zane. "Too large a concentration in the blood can result in coma or even death."

"Do you think he's . . . "

"No, he should be fine," said Zane. "If he was able to remain conscious before, the dosage would not suddenly become more intense later. He is only sleeping off the effects now that he can afford to."

"Though the coffee probably helped," said Nya. "Judging by how much barbiturate is still in his blood, the initial dose must've been pretty hefty. He wouldn't have woken up so early or been able to escape if he hadn't been hyper-stimulated on caffeine beforehand."

"The old ninja luck, huh?" said Jay weakly.

"What I want to know is what they were drugging him for in the first place," growled Cole, looking over to the sofa where Lloyd was sleeping. Misako was dozing in a chair nearby. "Didn't the guy say he was going to go _activate_ something when he found Lloyd was missing?"

"I hate to ask," said Kai. "But does he still have both his kidneys?"

The others stared.

"They do that," he said. "They knock you out and steal one of your kidneys to sell to people who're willing to pay for organ donations."

"Holy . . . "

Cole went to ask. Fortunately, all of Lloyd's internal organs seemed to be in place.

None of them had gotten much sleep last night, but they were too strung-out to nap. Kai and Jay didn't seem much inclined to start out on their patrols. For now, they all just waited.

Jay wandered into the training room, half-heartedly munching a bagel. One of the old spinning-dummy carousels had broken down more than a week ago, and everyone kept nagging him to fix it; as of now he had a vague notion that he might tinker with it a bit. Maybe.

In the training room he found Kai, abusing a punching bag. Life as a punching bag is never easy, of course, but Kai seemed to have particularly sadistic intentions towards the bag today. He kept whacking it, letting it swing as if to give it false hope, then ripping into it again.

Jay watched from the corner of his eye as he dragged out his toolbox and started spreading tools around.

"Soooo, question," he said at last. Breathless, Kai turned around and shrugged for him to continue.

"Back in the offices up there," said Jay. "A couple of times you froze up weirdly when there was a Serpentine talking." He flinched as Kai's eyes narrowed dangerously, but continued all the same. "I could be wrong, but I think it was the same snake every time. Was it someone you know?"

"What makes you think I'd know a snake?" growled Kai, turning away again.

"Well hey, Serpentine have gotten pretty respectable these days," Jay ventured. "I hear a lot of 'em are even living aboveground and taking regular jobs."

"And then there are the ones in the electronics-stealing rings, which are obviously the ones I know personally," snarked Kai. Jay rolled his eyes.

"I'm just sayin', you were definitely acting like someone recognizing someone. Someone they didn't like."

Kai dealt the unfortunate punching bag a few more cuffs.

"If we're going to be dealing with the Technicians, we're gonna have to know what's what," said Jay, hoping it wouldn't occur to Kai to switch targets.

Kai stopped swinging. For a moment he stood with his fists still raised, glaring at his feet; then he sighed and dropped his stance.

"Okay, fine. I guess it would come out eventually anyway."

"You do know him?" Jay put down his wrench.

"Yeah. His name's Nash." Kai kicked lightly at the base of the punching bag, his back still turned. "Not all the Serpentine aboveground got 'respectable' jobs, Jay. A lot of Venomari especially. Venomari spit sells big on illegal markets."

"Venomari spit?!" Jay grimaced. "Who handles that stuff on _purpose?_ "

"You'd be surprised," said Kai hollowly. He finally turned around and sat down, leaning back against the punching bag, but avoided looking in Jay's direction. "It only gives you nightmare hallucinations if you get it in your eyes. If you apply it to your skin, it gives you a kind of trippy, floaty feeling, pretty much just gets you extremely high. On the other hand, do this—" Kai made a syringe motion next to his arm "—and in a few hours your insides will turn to slush. Including your brain. It will drip out through your ears and nose."

"Ick . . . " Jay wondered why he was asking, but he did anyway. "What happens if you swallow it?"

"Nothing, actually. The venom is protein-based, so it disintegrates in stomach acid. You might throw up a little." Kai twitched one foot idly. "This is messed-up, but I was actually kind of relieved to hear it was barbiturates they gave Lloyd. When I first saw him, knowing Nash was there, I thought they had dosed him with slobber. That stuff is addictive."

"Slobber? . . . "

"That's what they call it. Or 'scale juice,' depending where you live."

Jay was quiet. Considering how much Kai knew about this stuff—too much—he was starting to draw extremely painful conclusions.

"Anyway." Kai let him draw whatever conclusions he wanted. "Nash was a boss, and one of the top providers. And he was a cold operator; brutal. I don't know how he went from slobber trafficking to electronics theft, but now that he's with the Technicians, we need to watch out. _Especially_ if he . . . if he knows I'm one of you."

More silence. Jay chewed a mouthful of bagel doggedly, wondering what to say. Kai fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes distant.

"The others should probably know," he said at last. "We need to be ready, in case I become a liability or something. And . . . maybe it'd be better if they knew beforehand, instead of hearing it from Nash."

Jay pieced together the question woven somewhere into Kai's tone.

"You want me to tell them?"

"If you'd be okay with that." It was a surprisingly humble request, for Kai. "Lloyd already knows a little about it, and judging by the way he reacted, I . . . " He grimaced meaningfully.

"Sure, I get it," Jay nodded. "I can break it to them."

"Thanks," said Kai quietly. By mutual agreement the conversation ended. Jay drew in his breath, trying to shake off the heavy atmosphere, and glanced down at his half-eaten bagel.

"Breakfast?" he offered.

"Sure."

Jay chucked the bagel across the room; Kai caught it in one hand and began munching resolutely. After a moment he smiled.

"Do I taste watermelon?"

Jay made a face. He and Cole had both showered twice and changed clothes, but they were nowhere _near_ getting rid of the sharp bubblegummy scent. They were already getting tired of hearing about it.

A few minutes later, Nya poked her head into the room.

"Lloyd's waking up."

They trotted into the living room to find the green ninja stirring in his sleep, shaking his head slowly. Meep jumped eagerly into his arms, purring; the soft impact made Lloyd twitch and open his eyes.

For a second he blinked, unfocused. Then, so suddenly that he seemed to teleport, he was alert and upright, feet planted wide, dagger already drawn. Despite himself Jay couldn't help but feel a little proud for all their sakes; two or so years of training the kid hadn't gone to waste.

Meep gave an indignant yowl from where he'd been tossed by Lloyd's sudden movement. Looking around, Lloyd registered that he was on the _Bounty_ and slowly lowered his dagger. He looked mildly startled for a second when Misako and a few of the others hugged him.

"How did I . . . get here?"

Lloyd's memories of last night were patchy. He got through the entire explanation in the time it took for Zane to check him over again. He remembered checking out the industrial tunnel where he'd found Kai, and he remembered seeing lots of people going into Snow Dragon. Suspicious, he'd snuck in after them—and had actually managed to explore the second and third floors for quite a while before getting found and cornered. There'd been a scuffle, something had been stabbed into his arm, and from there on it was good night nurse. He remembered pretty much nothing after that except the fixated notion that climbing through air ducts would get him out.

"I must've been doing a lot of it . . . " he murmured, digging into his pockets. "I have a ton of stuff here I don't remember picking up, so I must've been going through offices and rooms collecting things."

"Well, what possessed you to go into that building in the first place?" demanded Cole. "Especially without telling _anyone_ first? You know the rule about reporting unplanned maneuvers!"

"I had to move fast, okay?" sighed Lloyd. "There wasn't time to call in beforehand. And then once I got inside, I guess I . . . forgot."

"Right. Plus you knew we'd tell you not to go in there alone, and it was easier to get forgiveness than permission, amirite?" said Cole. Lloyd ventured a nervous grin.

" . . . Maybe?" He spread his hands winningly. "Come on, I got a lot of intel! You have to admit it was useful."

"Useful, maybe. A good idea?"

Lloyd shrugged.

"Probably not."

"Not even _probably_ ," said Cole. "Honestly. If you hadn't called home, if you hadn't randomly mumbled something about ice cream, if Kai hadn't thought of Snow Dragon—we might never have found you. Do you even realize what that means? Who knows what those guys were planning to do to you! They had you drugged and trapped for a reason, you know. Or you might have died in those vents! Or they might have—"

"Okay, _okay!_ " protested Lloyd, looking embattled. "I'm sorry, geez."

"Arrgh. You better be." Cole sighed, reaching over to scruff up Lloyd's hair. "How about this doesn't happen again, huh? I have enough of a headache with Kai on this team."

"Heyyy." Kai snorted indignantly. Meanwhile Lloyd grumbled something indistinct, probably about the Green Ninja knowing what he was freaking doing out there, and began to dig crumpled pieces of paper out of his pockets. He looked one over, then blinked.

"You guys, I think this is a weapons diagram."

"What?!" The others perked up at once.

"Let me see!" said Jay eagerly. Lloyd quickly drew the scrap of paper back out of reach.

"Hold up a minute. If this turns out to be useful, do I get out of trouble?" He grinned at Cole. Cole grinned back.

"No."

"Ahh. Worth a shot." Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Lloyd flattened the crinkled paper against his knee and held it out. "It looks like some kind of instruction manual . . . "

It was. It seemed to be a kind of training pamphlet, listing out several weapons and the correct situations and manner in which to use them. There were a few diagrams as well.

"This is insane," said Jay, amazed. "Are you sure these are _real?_ Do they really have weapons like this, or is this all like, hypothetical 'let's-try-to-develop-these' stuff?"

Lloyd shrugged, shaking his head.

"I don't know. I saw a lot of weird crates up on the third floor, but I don't remember what was in them."

The weapons were a bizarre lot. There were instructions for standard stuff like firearms and smoke grenades; however, there were also things like blowpipes and dart guns and what seemed to be a modified Taser. Worst of all, there were weird devices you'd think would never work: a contraption that could throw weights on a chain and instantly tie your target's wrists, something called a "bite applicator," another item pleasantly entitled "pile driver" (most likely _not_ your friendly local construction vehicle), thick foams that you could spray on to immobilize enemies, something called Shleesh, and various gases that could cause sleep, confusion, temporary blindness, or death.

"We're so in over our heads," groaned Jay.

"Don't get panicky," scolded Cole. "It looks bad, sure, but at least now we know what we're up against. We can train to be prepared for this stuff!"

Jay shook his head morosely.

"So, what else have you got, Lloyd? More great news?"

Lloyd began to dig into his pockets again, pulling out handfuls of papers and knickknacks. At length he ran out of handspace, plunked down on the living room floor, and just began tossing everything into a pile.

"Do you have an alternate dimension in your pockets?" asked Jay, as the assortment on the floor grew impossibly large. Lloyd chuckled.

"This is like Christmas," he said. "Even I don't know what I'm getting." He switched to a new pocket. "Okay, for some reason I have somebody's business card. Annnnd an invoice for ice cream orders. Business card, pencil, thank-you note . . . Mints." He snorted, regarding the handful of slightly sticky candies. "I _really_ wasn't thinking about what I was collecting."

"Not surprising," said Kai. "It looked like you were pretty much walking and talking in your sleep back there."

"Hm." Lloyd twitched a corner of his mouth back wryly. Then he looked up, one hand still in his pocket. "Wait. I wasn't saying anything weird, was I?"

"Uhh . . . it depends on what you mean by 'weird'," said Cole.

Lloyd eyed him for a moment, but said nothing. There was something a little uneasy about his expression as he continued emptying out his stash.

"Here's something," said Zane, carefully unraveling a smushed and twisted piece of paper. "It appears to be a communication of some sort, addressed to someone called Cap. 'We have enough room left for maybe two shipments. We need to find a new place ASAP. If we're really scraping for a location, go ahead and take any friendly spot even if it's not near the tunnels. That should be your last resort, though.' It's signed, 'Silica'."

"Code name, obviously," said Cole, waving. "But tunnels! Hoho, now this is news! So that's why they've been so hard to track down . . . They're traveling underground!"

"But the tunnels must not be too extensive," said Zane. "There are apparently many 'spots' not near the network."

"Still, still," said Cole. "Hmm. 'Friendly spots.' How's this for a theory? The 'shipments' are batches of those electronics they steal—there must be a lot of them. And the 'friendly spots' are factories and warehouses owned by companies that sympathize with whatever the Technicians are up to! Enough that they're willing to provide storage space for stolen goods."

"And Snow Dragon is one of them?" Jay sounded disappointed.

"Guess so. Either way, this'll sure give the police something to chew on."

"See?" said Lloyd. "Told you I knew what I was doing!"

"Hey, don't get smug. You're still in trouble, remember," retorted Cole, smacking Lloyd's arm lightly. The younger ninja sighed.

"So what's our next step?" asked Jay, when they'd determined that Lloyd's pockets contained no more clues.

"Talk to the police chief on your patrol," said Kai. "After all that noise we made last night, the Technicians have probably cleared out of Snow Dragon like magic—but it still wouldn't hurt to do a search of the place. And investigate the people in charge."

"And those tunnels," said Cole. "We should find them."

"I can make some . . . arrangements that could help with that part," offered Nya, smiling thoughtfully.

"But we cannot simply go charging off to find their secret headquarters," Zane spoke up. "Are we prepared to deal with weaponry of this caliber?"

Cole looked at the weapons pamphlet again.

"Not yet we're not. But we can work on that."

The meeting drifted to a close. It was already scandalously late in the morning, so Kai and Jay would have to prepare quickly for their patrols.

"So . . . " ventured Lloyd, trying to look casual as he swept his pocket contents into a box. "What _was_ I saying back there?"

"In the factory?" Cole shrugged. "I dunno, weird stuff."

"What stuff?"

Cole raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of dark secrets are you so worried about spilling?"

"Love life, obviously," said Jay, linking his hands behind his head.

"Or he's been backsliding into his candy-stealing habits and he has a hidden stash," offered Kai.

Lloyd grumbled under his breath, but said nothing concrete; he had a feeling this was the others' vengeance for the scare he'd given them last night.

Jay delayed just long enough to take Lloyd aside and tell him that Dr. Borg had cleared the aliens' names; then he threw on his patrol gear (which would soon enough be smelling like watermelon too) and whisked out for the city patrol. Meep and Mopp warbled plaintively. They couldn't understand why they'd been ignored so much lately.

Lloyd hung around the armory surreptitiously as the two ninja geared up, waiting for Jay to leave. Kai was just a few minutes behind Jay, heading for the country circuit; he was already halfway gone when Lloyd suddenly called, "Hey, wait up!"

"Yeah?" Kai turned in the doorway.

"Uhh . . . " Lloyd shuffled uneasily. "Look, about last night . . . Come on. What _was_ I saying?"

Kai snorted. He wasn't sure why Lloyd chose to pester him about this—he was not particularly known for his mercy in such matters. Meanwhile Zane would probably have given a straight answer right away.

"You heard Cole," he shrugged, smiling up his sleeve. "Stuff. Mostly just nonsense about oxygen and video games . . . and then a couple things I wouldn't really be willing to repeat."

Lloyd's face fell.

"So I _was_ saying the spell?"

"The what—Ohhh." Kai sobered. Teasing the kid about saying something potentially embarrassing was one thing; the Cursed Realm was another entirely. He'd forgotten about that.

"Heck no, you weren't saying _that_. Nothing like that."

"Phew." Lloyd sighed, relieved.

"Speaking of, you still have to talk to Sensei about that," said Kai.

"Yeah, I'll talk to him." Lloyd looked elsewhere.

"Whennnn?"

"Soon?" said Lloyd, grasping at straws. He sighed defeatedly when Kai folded his arms and gave him a "cut the nonsense" look. "Okay, fine. Today. Promise."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," warned Kai.

"Okay, okay . . . " Lloyd gave him a weary look. "Hey, you don't like being told what to do either, do you?"

"Yeah, yeah." Kai adjusted his katana strap over his shoulder. "Cut us some slack if we're all a little jumpy today, all right? You scared us."

Lloyd reddened, giving a cross between a scoff and a groan; he wasn't really one for mush. Kai smiled and shoved his shoulder gently.

"Seriously. I know I'm one to talk, but—don't do stupid stuff. Who'm I going to pick on if you're not around?"

"Pick on Jay." Lloyd studied his foot intently to hide his grin.

"Eh. He's getting too good at standing up for himself." Kai ruffled Lloyd's hair, then turned to head out the door again. "Later, short stuff; take it easy. At least until we know you're not getting any weird side effects or something."

"Yeah, about that."

Kai turned back once again, raising an eyebrow.

"Not like I'm worried or anything," said Lloyd very carefully, cautious about sounding anything akin to a wimp. "Just out of curiosity . . . "

Kai twirled a hand in an impatient "go on already" motion.

"Well . . . " Lloyd shifted from foot to foot, embarrassed. "Is it a normal aftereffect of barbiturates if you smell watermelon all the time?"


	13. Socially Awkward Ninja

**Hiya!** **How'd Valentine's Day go, fellas? Hope you all had a good one!**

 **A couple of guest reviewers commented on the hints about Kai's history with illegal Venomari spit. It was the subplot from one of my older stories, "Saturniidae." Thought I might as well explain it here,** **since it's not a secret plot point or anything:**

 **After Zane died in Rebooted, Kai wasn't _just_ fighting at that slither pit. The fights didn't pay very well, he got mixed up with the wrong crowd, and before he knew it he was making extra money by hiding illegal "slobber" from the authorities when the dealers needed it hidden. Lloyd eventually found out about it, freaked out, and Kai's been keeping it a secret from the others ever since . . . **

**Jay doesn't know that, though. Right now he thinks Kai actually took the stuff.**

 **All good? Great!**

 **Guest reviews!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Eh, no thanks, no drug-injection episodes for me thanks. Drugs are creepy, and people under the influence of 'em are even creepier. Brrrr.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Yayz, a fellow Conya fan. Seems like the pairing's kinda off the table by now, though, what with him being a ghost and all . . . Rats. And yep, that was the quote! I never did quite understand what having pockets had to do with stealing things. XD**

 **BriarDIEZ: Awwh man, you caught me! I'll let you in on a little secret: I'm consciously writing this entire story with the intent to soak Cole as much as possible. I kid you not! This sucker is gonna get drenched every possible chance that exists. It's my mini-protest against ghostie-Cole. ;)**

 **Dragongirl15: H'lo again, then! Thanks for another review. Nah, it's not gonna be Greenflame; I write them as extra-close brothers. The so-called BroTP, y'know?**

 **And yep, Kai's got a bit of a dark spot on his past there. As covered above. :)**

 **Aw wow, thanks for the recommendation! Much appreciated. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sept 6**

 **12:58 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Kai and Jay**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

It was a good hour before Lloyd finally talked himself into approaching Sensei Wu's door. He knocked, and upon the quiet answer of his uncle and teacher, slipped inside. The room was dim, the blinds pulled most of the way down, and the air was permeated heavily with the sharp, dusty scent of tea leaves. Various boxes and bags of the stuff were huddled in the corner, next to the Sensei's ever-present tea kettle. Other than that, the only furniture in the room—if you could call it furniture—was a tatami mat for sleeping and a small rug for meditating. Wu was currently sitting on that rug, his feet tucked atop his knees.

"What is it, nephew?" he asked, glancing up at Lloyd wavering in the doorway.

"I . . . needed to ask you about something."

Wu inclined his head to the space before him, and Lloyd took the invitation to settle down, sitting on his feet. Sensei gave him a slight, significant nod, and Lloyd nodded back in understanding. For a while they said nothing, letting the silence flow around them.

Lloyd resisted the urge to fidget. He knew his uncle believed these silences calmed the mind, allowed you to speak more wisely and openly, feel a greater connection; in his experience, though, they just made him more nervous. He really wanted to get this over with.

"What troubles you, Lloyd?' asked Wu at last, opening his eyes. Lloyd stiffened, suddenly wishing he had used that silence to plan his approach. Dangit.

"I, uh . . . Well, I've been sleeptalking, Sensei."

"Yes?"

Lloyd wasn't sure if that was an "okay, go on" or an "and you're telling me this _why?_ " He gave in to the urge to fidget, tugging at the edge of his sleeve.

"And Kai heard me the night before last, annnnnd I . . . I was . . . saying-one-of-the-spells-from-the-spellbook."

"Clouse's spellbook?" Sensei Wu gave no indication of having been startled.

"Yes Sensei." Lloyd swallowed. "The one to summon the Cursed Realm."

A moment of silence. Lloyd studied the patterning of the floor. It was a very nice floor, actually. Enchanting.

"You know the spell in its entirety?" said Wu at last.

"I think so," said Lloyd. "Enough that it works. I tried saying some of it last night, and the portal started to open."

"You knowingly recited the spell?" Now there was a touch of sharpness to Wu's tone.

"I know, it was foolish." Lloyd looked away.

"Not just foolish," said Wu. "Dangerous. For the others—and for you. Dark magic is like a creeping blight. The more one uses it, the more it takes root in the heart; the more it becomes a part of you. Merely uttering the words too often can turn them into your masters."

Lloyd lifted his gaze to meet his uncle's eyes.

"I can stop it," he said earnestly. "I'll do whatever it takes to stop it. Kai says I could wear a mouthguard at night so I can't talk clearly. That would work, wouldn't it?"

"It can quell the symptoms," said Wu. "For now, for safety, that is certainly what you should do. But you must ultimately overcome this at the _source_ , Lloyd. You must find what is causing this and heal there."

"Yes, Sensei."

The silence grew uncomfortably long, and Lloyd squirmed again. Was that it?

"Lloyd." Wu was clearly waiting for an answer—but what had the question been? Lloyd found himself again studying the floor, mentally pleading for this to be over soon. The Sensei's keen gaze sliding over him seemed physically cold.

" _Lloyd_." Suddenly a firm hand rested on the teenager's shoulder. "Look at me."

Lloyd looked up dutifully, and was startled at the unexpected gentleness of the Sensei's eyes.

"Are you trying to take your father's place?"

Lloyd's mouth fell open.

"I'm sorry, perhaps that question wasn't . . . answerable," sighed Wu. "But subconsciously, that may be what you are trying to do." He studied his nephew with sad eyes. "You have said so little about the loss of your father, as if you are hiding from his memory. I know you are trying to be strong, but . . . "

Lloyd said nothing.

"Are you sure you want to do this alone?" said Wu softly. "Because, remember, I am always here if you need me. I will listen if you need guidance, if you need to talk; you can come to me about anything at all."

Lloyd lowered his head. He trusted Wu; respected him as his Sensei, loved him deeply as his uncle. They had always been close—a year ago he would have blurted out everything that was on his chest and probably wound up embarrassing himself to boot. But now, the tiniest flicker of bitterness suddenly flared to life in his heart, and his tongue was stilled.

"Thank you, Sensei," he whispered at last. "I'll remember."

And no more than that. His thoughts weren't for sharing, no.

Wu sighed softly and pulled his nephew into a hug.

* * *

Jay had an extensive talk with New Ninjago City's police chief. He had to explain every single detail of their adventures last night, and go over everything they had learned from Lloyd's collection as well. Then the chief wanted to discuss optimal collaboration strategies for the ninja and police to track the Technicians down—which Jay had a bit of a trying time with. Strategizing was more of Cole and Zane's forte.

At last the blue ninja disentangled himself from the police station and headed out into the city. Buying himself a soda, he plunked down on a park bench and doused his throat with caffeine and artificial orange, glumly considering the long day still ahead of him. City patrols took _forever_. Maybe he could cut some corners, trim it a little short . . . Heck, the Techs were probably going to lie low for a while now, and he just wanted to go back home and spend some time with Meep and Mopp and start working on his contest entry with Nya . . .

Suddenly it hit him. His head was slung way back over the back of the bench, eyes lazily roving the sky, and at that moment he realized he was practically sighting right up the side of Borg Industries Tower. Pushing himself upright, he twisted around and eyed the gleaming metal-and-glass fortress. Maybe . . . a visit would be warranted?

He argued with himself for a moment. On one hand, he was already going to be here all day; visiting Mindy was just going to delay him more. But on the other hand, he only got the city patrol once every five days, so this was a comparatively rare opportunity to drop in without anyone asking where he was going . . .

Then he thought of Mindy's bubbly smile and made up his mind.

Jay could be blindingly creative when under pressure. By the time he was approaching the door of Office 1513, he had a good excuse for visiting already all worked out. Several, actually, if he played his cards right.

Mindy lit up in a smile when she saw him, and Jay's heart did several things that really shouldn't have been anatomically possible. She assured him that she wasn't at all too busy and offered him a chair.

"So, what brings you here?" she asked pleasantly.

"Well, I was in the area," said Jay shyly. "And I thought you might like to look at these before we start, to make sure they're okay . . . "

He pulled out some hasty sketches he'd made of the alien ship from memory. Mindy seemed enchanted with the idea. Seeing this, Jay brought up another idea he'd had.

"About this ship," he said. "Since we plan to make it a completely functional rep—ahhh, model, we could technically send it into orbit for real. What do you think about that?"

"I think it's fantastic!" beamed Mindy. "Yes! Borg Industries has several communications and research satellites up in space already, so we have permission to launch and lots of free orbital paths up there. I'm sure I could get the necessary permissions for you to have an orbit of your very own! Let me just make a note to remind myself to look into that."

Turning to her computer, she began to rifle through windows and type rapidly. Jay sat and grinned for a while, swinging his feet.

Eventually he noticed that Mindy seemed to be breathing in a little more deeply than was normal, her eyebrows knit in slight puzzlement. His cheeks immediately grew hot; he'd gotten acclimated over time and forgotten that he still smelled like some OC friend of Strawberry Shortcake's.

"I'm sorry," chuckled Mindy, looking up from her computer. "Do you have candy with you, or are you just into very avant-garde cologne?"

Jay felt his embarrassment vanish like a soap bubble.

"Heh, no," he chuckled. "Just a little slip-up with some flavoring."

"Well, don't take this the wrong way," Mindy grinned, "but I could definitely stand to bury my face in you for a while."

Jay laughed.

"I could definitely stand that too," he said, then started a little bit. _Take it easy!_ scolded a little voice in his head. _Now you're just hitting on her!_

Glp.

To his relief, though, Mindy only laughed in return, clearly not too bothered. If she wasn't taking this as flirting, at least not any kind of flirting that threatened her existing relationship, it must be okay.

After a few minutes of cheerful conversation, Mindy brought up their last visit.

"I'll admit I was kinda surprised that you were visiting here with Cole," she remarked. "Don't you two hate each others' guts?"

"Uh—" Jay stared.

"I looked you up a little after meeting you," said Mindy, half-smiling. "Plenty of material. You guys are in the news a _lot_ , you know."

"O—oh," mumbled Jay automatically, while his brain flew into a maelstrom. That whole . . . disaster . . . had reached the _news?_ Oh crud. He should have thought about that. Great, just fantastic. Now he and Cole would be eternally documented in the public eye right alongside all the other cheap-dirty-thrill "celebrity feuds." Peachy. He hoped the tabloid hacks hadn't been blowing it any worse out of proportion . . .

Actually, scratch that; he hoped they'd fabricated every _last_ detail of it. Whatever they came up with _had_ to be less embarrassing than the truth.

"So?" said Mindy, breaking Jay's long silence.

"Oh, uh," Jay shook his head, returning to the real world. "Nah, that's all in the past. We're cool now."

"Oh." Mindy looked a smidge disappointed.

"You, uh . . . didn't get along with him so great yourself, I hear?" ventured Jay, with a small smile. Subject change would be nice right about now!

Mercifully, Mindy took the bait.

"Don't even start," she smiled, rolling her eyes. "You'd have to be a superhuman to get along with Cole. Especially in the third grade!"

"What was he like?" Despite his best efforts Jay smirked; he got the feeling he'd have plenty to tease Cole about after this conversation.

"Meh. Pretty much the same as he is now, I'm guessing," shrugged Mindy. "Pushy, crude, not too bright. Fond of highlights, _way_ before they became a hairstyle standard." Her mouth twitched into a delicate grimace. "That is, 'surprise' orange highlights. Rendered with the acrylics from art class."

Jay chuckled.

"Luckily for me, though," continued Mindy, winking, "he was also as gullible as they come. The stories I could tell you!"

A little lightbulb went on in Jay's head.

"You think you could tell me some?" he ventured. "I could use some good prank ideas right now, actually."

"Who for?"

"Eh, Kai."

"Ohh." Mindy chuckled. "The roadrager."

For a split-second Jay felt weirdly defensive. It seemed odd to hear a comparative stranger knocking his family and not say anything. But then again, it was true—and it wasn't like he hadn't called Kai that much and worse himself. Plus he didn't want to sound like some overly-sensitive neurotic who got offended over every trifle . . . He shook it off and returned his attention to the conversation. Mindy, to say the least, was an expert.

* * *

Jay had to cut his visit shorter than he'd have liked (Mindy told him he could come again whenever he wanted), but it was still painfully late in the evening by the time he got back to the _Bounty_. The others had probably eaten dinner already, so he headed to the kitchen, knowing a plate would be saved for him. He was pretty ravenous, even if it was Cole's turn to cook, and the lack of sleep last night was really starting to catch up to him.

Halfway down the hall he could already hear the dubstep. Chuckling softly, he poked his head into the kitchen and found the laptop again open, Meep and Mopp chirping along to some electronic altercation. Lloyd was propped up on his elbows drawing cartoon ponies, and the aliens were watching the process with fascination. Misako was sitting off to the side, videotaping Mopp's futile attempts to apply pencil to the floor tiles.

Then the aliens caught sight of Jay. Both yowled joyously; Meep hurled himself across the kitchen to clamp himself atop Jay's head, while Mopp flailed about on the floor, trying to roll himself in that direction.

"Well, we know who the favorite is," chuckled Misako. Jay, laughing, pushed Meep's tentacles out of his face and bent to scoop up Mopp.

"Hi guys. Hi, Misako. Feeling okay, Lloyd?"

"Yeah, thanks; I'm fine. Spent most of the day helping Nya and Zane tidy up the spare room," said Lloyd. "We found some stuff in there that can help us train for the Technicians!"

"Cool," said Jay, grabbing his hoodie from beside the sink and slipping it on. Mopp burbled happily and clambered over his shoulder to get into the hood. "So what about the alien-studying? Did you learn anything new?"

"Well, they're into art," said Lloyd, "but actually making it kinda baffles them." He held up several pieces of paper, scrawled with completely irrelevant pencil lines, half of them running right off the edge of the page.

"Hmm." Jay squinted at a welter of red, orange, and purple. "Looks like Kai."

Lloyd gave a snort.

"Funny, they drew that one while Kai was in the kitchen."

"Ha! You see? I understand their artistic vision," said Jay, reaching up to pat Meep on the head. Lloyd chuckled, but Jay couldn't help but give him an odd look; there was something vaguely distant about his manner. The blue ninja glanced questioningly at Misako, who gave a slight nod, looking pained. Something clearly seemed "off" to her, too. Did it have anything to do with last night? The barbiturates?

Maybe he just needed cheering up. Jay pried Meep off his head and shooed him back to Lloyd.

"Soooo, speaking of Kai," he ventured, raising his eyebrows significantly. Lloyd looked up, brightening.

"You have an idea? I've got a few, but none of them seem to be just right . . . "

"I've got a few I think might be perfect," grinned Jay.

"Awesome!" Lloyd's lopsided smile merged into an all-too-familiar smirk, and Jay wondered momentarily what he'd even been worried about.

"So when can we—" Lloyd broke off and chuckled as Jay stifled a yawn. "Strategy session tomorrow, I guess?"

"That'd be good," admitted Jay. "Ugh. I'd be in bed already if I wasn't so hungry. Is dinner at least not poisonous?"

"Surprisingly edible, actually." Lloyd poked a pencil gently at a sulky-looking Meep, coaxing him to get over Jay's rejection and join him in drawing.

Misako switched off the dubstep. Jay sat at the countertop drowsily munching Cole's approximation of tuna casserole, watching as Meep and Lloyd both drew on the same piece of paper. Lloyd sketched tiny stick figures and cartoons, while Meep, pencil gripped staunchly in one tentacle, scribbled blithely over drawings, blank paper, and linoleum alike. Clearly they weren't going to be communicating with the aliens through pictograms any time soon.

Mopp cooed and draped himself over Jay's shoulder, cuddling against the side of his head. Jay patted him absent-mindedly. Meep began to chirp as he drew, Mopp responded, and soon they were warbling merrily along through their alternating duet again. From across the room Misako smiled and quietly angled the camera in their direction.

Presently there was a flutter of wings, and Zane's falcon alighted on the edge of the counter. Peering around, it looked over its shoulder and chirped shrilly. Zane poked his head into the kitchen shortly afterwards.

"Scouting party?" grinned Lloyd. "The dubstep was starting to get to him," he added when Jay gave him a questioning look.

"PIXAL is fond of it," sighed Zane, settling down across from Jay. "She replays the ones she likes, and I can hear them in my head."

"Wow," said Jay, grimacing. Having a significant other stuck inside your brain was apparently not all it was cracked up to be. Not that it was cracked up to be much in the first place. That reminded him, though!

"Hey," he said, looking over his shoulder at Meep's drawings. He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Think you could draw like that, Zane? Just random scribbles?"

"I could replicate one that the aliens drew," offered Zane.

"Make your own?"

Zane shook his head reluctantly.

"Eh, that's okay. Let's try something else." Jay looked around, then grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil from the floor. "How about this. Could you take something that's not pink—say, this glass of water here—and draw it so it is pink?"

"Easily," said Zane. "I only have to remove the yellow and cyan components of the image, leaving magenta."

Jay shook his head, impressed.

"You really do just have Photoshop in your head, huh?"

"I suppose so . . . " said Zane. Glancing cautiously at Lloyd and Misako, he crooked his arm around the paper to shield his work and began drawing.

It only took him a few minutes to create a perfect magenta-wash image of the water glass. Feeling mildly accomplished, he looked up to show it to Jay. Then he smiled and decided to wait for tomorrow. Jay, his head pillowed on his arms, had already fallen asleep sitting up.


	14. You Had One Job

**Over** **one hundred reviews! You guys! You're fantabulous. ^_^**

 **Thanks for being so generous with your feedback on this story, and for all the sweet comments, PMs, everything. Really, I can't thank you enough.**

 **Angel Star Ninja: True dat. They can barely trust Lloyd with a mouthful of caffeine. :P**

 **DJ: D'you mean she's good at giving burns, or that she _should_ burn? If the second one, 'ey, watch it pal, that's Jay's crush you're talkin' about. ;P Heh, but seriously though, she was telling the truth. Cole _was_ gullible as a kid** — **he and Mindy were constantly pranking each other, and he fell for everything** — **and Kai _is_ a roadrager. You've seen how he drives in Rebooted. XD So hey, maybe she's just very honest about her opinions? Or maybe not. Ya never know . . . **

**Kairocksrainbow: Thanks! And yeah, I hear the next season's gonna be about Cole. Can't wait! Heh, to be honest I didn't put a lot of thought into coming up with my username, it was just something I used as a placeholder while guest reviewing . . . And I guess having pockets could be** ** _useful_ while stealing stuff, but I doubt it'd be _necessary._**

 **Guest: Yep, I've seen Skybound! What about it? :)**

 **guest: Because LLOYD IS BRONY! 8D Heh, I dunno about Kai, but he could be a Brony too. I could see him following along with the show just to keep Lloyd company. :P And yeah, he's voiced by the same guy as Flash Sentry. Morro from Season 5 was voiced by the same guy as Twilight's big brother, Shining Armor! XD**

* * *

 **Sept 7**

 **3:22 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Cole and Zane**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Seeing as he was in a natural sleep and not a drug-induced stupor that night, Lloyd found himself again waking up with Kai's hand clamped over his mouth. For a second he blinked, processing; then he realized what had happened and sighed defeatedly.

"How lightly do you _sleep?_ " he mumbled as Kai loosened his grip.

"In situations like this?" Kai gave a weary snort. "Very lightly."

"Sorry . . . " sighed Lloyd, pushing himself upright.

"Not your fault, kiddo."

Lloyd shrugged, eyes downcast.

"I'll have the mouthguard by tomorrow night, hopefully," he said. "Uncle Wu knew a place."

"Great. We can all get some more sleep then," yawned Kai.

"He says I've got to get rid of the habit itself, though," said Lloyd, picking at the edge of the bedsheet.

"Eh, one step at a time. We'll figure it out," Kai mumbled. Now that he was acclimated to this situation, he was comparatively relaxed about it. He eyed Lloyd curiously, wondering what he seemed so troubled about.

"You okay?"

"Mm? Uh—yeah." Lloyd shook out his head and squared his shoulders, offering a smile. Then he glanced over to Kai's bed and blinked. "Hey . . . You sleep on the _top_ bunk. How do you get down here so fast without breaking your neck?"

"Huh. Good question, actually." Kai leaned back on his elbows. "I can't really remember how I got here, but I'm not even sure I touched the floor in-between. Heck, maybe I just jumped from up there like a lemur."

He swiped one hand through the air demonstratively, then shook his head when Lloyd started to crack up. The kid had absolutely no threshold for humor; the others could trade wisecracks for minutes on end with perfectly straight faces, but Lloyd could be counted on to lose it at the first hint of a joke. Hopelessly un-cool—but somehow it was still one of the things they all loved about their little brother.

"You're just jealous of my fantastic lemur skills," he deadpanned, then stifled a yawn. "Ugh. Wanna get a drink or something?"

Lloyd nodded, still chuckling silently as he slid to his feet.

In the kitchen they were startled to find the lights already on.

"Nya?" Kai squinted as his eyes adjusted.

"Oh, hi," said Nya drowsily, looking up from the kitchen table. She had a glass of warm milk in front of her, and Meep was half-passed-out on the tabletop next to it. Mopp was soundly asleep in the hood of Jay's hoodie, which Nya was wearing backwards.

"What're you doing up?" asked Lloyd, meandering to the fridge. His hair flopped into his eyes, but he couldn't be bothered to push it back.

"Eh, I dunno. Had some stupid nightmare," mumbled Nya. She made an "I'm-too-old-for-this" face when Kai wrapped an arm around her, but made no effort to pull away.

"It didn't have anything to do with the Metalonian mafia, did it?" asked Kai, pulling back and ruffling her hair.

"What? No." Nya laughed. "It was about the ship coming to life and trying to kill me when I tried to fix it. I only just started seriously on the repairs today, I must be feeling guilty."

"The ship takes its revenge in cruel ways, huh?" sighed Kai, plunking down in a chair. He surveyed the aliens with a modicum of distrust. "You sure cuddling those jelly octopuses is the best way to get past it?"

"Oh come on, I woke them up anyway when I came here for the milk," said Nya. "They're very sympathetic."

"Hmph," muttered Kai.

They all sat and drank milk for a while. Conversation was stilted; they were all half-asleep.

"What're you all doing up?" asked a drowsy voice suddenly. Everyone looked up to find Jay leaning against the doorframe.

"You too?" sighed Lloyd. "This is getting weird."

"Mm." Jay was still too close to asleep to register much of what was being said to him. He noticed blearily that Nya was wearing his hoodie, though. Swaying in the doorway, he processed this for a while, wondering _why_ in all creation he was suddenly blushing so hard.

* * *

The next morning, a sad percentage of the _Bounty's_ occupants were reluctant to wake up. Luckily Cole and Zane, the only ones who had gotten a decent night's sleep, were also the day's patrollers.

Meep, who had gotten into the bunkroom again, bounced about on Jay's bed and crowed shrilly. Groaning, Jay opened a bleary eye.

" _YoooOOOO!_ " scolded Meep, whapping his nose repeatedly with one tentacle. " _Eeeee!_ "

Jay reached out drowsily and hauled the little alien closer like a teddy bear. For a moment this bewildered Meep beyond all reaction; then he snuggled closer to Jay's chest, cooing.

Jay, who had only fallen halfway back asleep, was dimly aware of Cole and Zane leaving for breakfast and Kai going to take a shower. It was a good few minutes later that the penny dropped. Jay sat bolt upright.

"Lloyd!"

Lloyd was still curled up in bed, nowhere near awake.

"Lloyd!" Jay shoved Meep aside and scrambled out of his bunk. "Lloyd, wake up!"

"Whaaaaa?" The green ninja blinked up at him reluctantly, his hair partially draped over one eye.

"Get up kid! Now's the perfect opportunity to get Kai!"

"Oh!" Lloyd sat up, immediately alert. Then his face fell.

"Uhhh . . . you know Jay, I don't know . . . "

"Come on!" said Jay impatiently. "We tried and failed once, we have to prove we can do it!"

"But does it have to be _now?_ " asked Lloyd. "I . . . He was pretty nice to me last night."

"Oh, come on!" Jay put his hands on his hips. "It's not like either of us _weren't_ nice to him just before he started all this. Revenge is independent of context!"

"Well . . . "

"We're catching up on the backlog, and he knows it. If it's bugging you that much, you can give him a hug or something afterwards."

"Somehow I doubt he's going to be in a hugging mood," said Lloyd, but chuckled and swung out of bed. "Okay. Let's do this!"

Time was of the essence. They carefully slid the bunkroom door open just a bit and balanced a bucket of water atop it. Everyone could see not to enter from the outside, but Kai would be none the wiser until too late. Then they hid around the corner of the hall with a box full of feathers they had emptied out of Jay's pillow. Kai didn't show for quite a while.

"How much longer?" whispered Lloyd at last.

"How would I know? And shhhhh!" retorted Jay. Lloyd elbowed him in good-natured impatience, and Jay elbowed him back, grinning. The tension of anticipation was almost as delicious as the payoff was going to be—he'd forgotten how much fun it was goofing around like this. Maybe they all needed to take a break from the serious stuff a little more often.

Eventually Kai, still drying off his hair, headed for the hall. At the doorway he stopped and raised an eyebrow. Everyone was usually pretty good about closing doors on the _Bounty_ , since the motion of a flying ship would cause them to flap about if left open. Still, every now and then someone would get careless and leave a door yawning out into the hallway. But open _two inches?_ He was pretty sure that wasn't even a position the door could hold on its own.

Gingerly he poked at it. It didn't give as readily as it should. Smirking, Kai shook his head and went to push open the window instead. He clambered a few feet along the side of the grounded ship, opened another window, and slipped silently into the hallway. Jay and Lloyd were still stationed at the corner, waiting.

Taking pity, Kai waited a few seconds, giving them an opportunity to turn around and notice him. When they didn't, he shrugged and tapped Jay on the shoulder. The blue ninja whirled around with a yelp; Kai solemnly took the box from his hands and overturned it atop Lloyd's head.

"Better luck _next_ next time," he grinned, and pattered off. It took a second for Jay to recover from his surprise.

" _Oh for_ —!" He gave a chuff of fury and scowled at Lloyd, who had feathers slipping down his shirt and consequently wasn't good for much at the moment. "This can't go on!"

"I know," Lloyd managed between spasms of giggles. "I know. We've _definitely_ got to get him now."

"You had your chance, Kai!" Jay shouted abstractly down the hallway. "This could've ended peacefully, but you blew it! Now it's WAR!" He jabbed a finger towards the ceiling and stormed off. He was greeted by a sluice of water—Kai had taken the bucket down from the door and waited for him to come around the corner.

"You fell for _that_ too?" Kai feigned disappointment. Then he tossed the bucket aside and took off, laughing, as an unamused Jay set out for him in earnest.

* * *

After Zane and Cole left, the others went to get the day's training out of the way. Sensei Wu was seated in the corner of the training room with his tea, waiting peacefully. Now that the threat of the Technicians had ramped up and they were beginning new training, he evidently intended to supervise their progress. Nya was hanging from the chin-up bar bolted into the corner, looking hopeful.

"Let us warm up with standard sparring," Wu said. "Nya, care to join us?"

"Love to!" said Nya, dropping to her feet. "Lloyd?"

The green ninja nodded, pushing his cowlick firmly into place.

"You're going to have to start wearing a headband or something," said Jay. Lloyd rolled his eyes and selected a light katana to spar with. Nya picked up a pair of S-blades.

"Guess that means you and me," said Kai. He stepped forward, twirling a pair of sai deftly around his hands. Lloyd glanced over with some envy; he'd been trying to talk Kai into teaching him how to do that for ages. He'd tried teaching himself, but had discovered he was fond of keeping all his fingers.

"Kai." At Wu's reprimanding tone, Kai immediately stopped spinning the blades and smiled sheepishly. The Sensei did not approve of theatrical touches; fancy tricks, he always said, distracted one from learning what was actually useful.

"Introductory stance, please," said Wu. "Make corrections as necessary."

Kai and Jay both fell into the ready stance, pausing for a moment to size each other up. Everyone on the _Bounty_ still had some areas they could use brushing up in, or perhaps that they'd gotten a little sloppy in. Observing each others' technique helped them correct flaws in their own. Jay tucked in his elbows a bit more (always a sticking point for him), while Kai straightened his back.

"Tighter on the free hand," he said, jerking his head. Jay pulled the hand that wasn't holding his nunchucks more neatly behind his back.

"Good," said Wu. "Begin!"

Soon the room rang with the clash of weaponry. Wu switched his attention from one sparring pair to another, offering advice and corrections.

Eventually he turned to Nya and Lloyd. Jay and Kai continued to feint and parry back and forth, but loosened up slightly knowing they weren't being watched. Kai glanced over his shoulder to make sure the Sensei's attention was still on Nya's footwork; then he smirked and began to throw in some extra flourishes, swinging each sai around his wrist before thrusting.

"Show-off," mouthed Jay, smirking back in spite of himself. Kai rolled his eyes and went back to more or less normal sparring.

"About Nash," he suddenly murmured when a lunge brought him within whispering distance. Jay shook his head and waited for the next moment when they drew closer together.

"Not yet. I have to find a good time to break it to them."

"What, like _after_ we've already met him?" Kai whispered fiercely, under the clatter of nunchucks against steel.

"Dude, you want it done on your own time, do it yourself," said Jay, only mildly miffed. He could understand Kai wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

Kai was opening his mouth to reply, but just then the Sensei's voice broke through.

"Kai, Jay!"

That was all he needed to say. Both ninja immediately tightened their sagging stances and chorused "sorry Sensei!" They fell to work even more enthusiastically than before to compensate.

"Eyes on your target, Jay, not your weapon, not your feet," said Wu.

"Come on, I was wide open like four times back there!" sang Kai, slashing a nunchuck handle aside lightly. "You really need to get better at pressing advantages."

"Dare I ask why you allowed yourself to be 'wide open' four times?" said Wu drily. Jay laughed at Kai's put-out look, then put a little more energy into his next swing.

"Good!" said Wu, raising his eyebrows as Jay forced Kai back a step. "Maintain your form, do not get sloppy. Good—good—excellent!"

Jay beamed; Sensei Wu didn't exactly hand "excellents" around like Snickers bars. Kai, irked, began to apply himself in earnest. For a few seconds he and Jay clashed in perfect equality, matching blow for blow, motion for motion. Then Kai suddenly found an opening and dove for it. Forcing Jay to dodge aside with one blade, he swung a leg under his ankles, sending him tumbling to the floor. Seamlessly the fire ninja kicked Jay's nunchucks from his hand, dropped into a pinning hold, and pulled back his sai. He couldn't resist one final twirling flourish before slamming it down.

"Match!" announced Wu, as the blade's edge halted perfectly just at the surface of Jay's throat. The Sensei sighed. "Unnecessarily theatrical, Kai, but—good work."

"Yeah, good match," said Jay breathlessly as Kai stood and offered him a hand up.

"Thanks." Kai sheathed his blades, looking pensive, then glanced to Wu. "Sensei?"

"Yes Kai?"

"Well, I've been wondering," said Kai. "You always say that we have to have perfect form during sparring matches, because if we develop bad habits while training we won't be able to shake them in real battle. Well, what about the final stroke? In sparring matches, we always stop just short of cutting the opponent—it's become a really strong reflex to stop the blade before drawing blood. Won't we reflexively do that in a real battle too?"

"Most probably," said Wu, unruffled. "But do you object to not immediately killing all your opponents?"

Kai reddened. He hadn't thought that question through all the way.

"N—no, Sensei. I just meant—well—what if we _have_ to kill our opponent? Wouldn't it be dangerous to hesitate?"

"You can take a life with one stroke," said Wu quietly. "But there is nothing you can do to give it back. The choice to kill is not one to settle by a thoughtless stab. In that hesitation, that moment when your blade lies at someone's throat, your conscience speaks the loudest. And when you must choose in cold blood to drive the blade through—then you will kill when it is necessary. And _only_ then." He looked around at the solemn faces of his students. "Do you understand?"

A chorus of subdued affirmations. Kai looked miserable. Jay was wondering if there was something he could say to smooth it over for him—he'd put his own foot in his mouth enough times to be sympathetic—when the scream of alarm sirens suddenly pierced the air. Everyone jumped.

"More aliens?" cried Lloyd, and they all scrambled to the control room.

It turned out to not be more aliens, though. Just the current ones.

"I'm terribly sorry," shouted Misako over the racket. "I was trying to teach them language on the computer, but they began to tinker with one of the sirens instead."

"That's okay, I'll get it," laughed Nya, heading to the wailing instrument and shooing aside a euphoric Meep and Mopp. "Sorry little fellas, the concert's over!"

She flicked some switches, but the siren didn't shut off. Looking puzzled, she tried again, then fiddled with a few other controls, trying to shut off the siren's electrical supply. Nothing worked.

"What gives, sis?" Kai shouted, his hands over his ears.

"I dunno, but they must've screwed something up _good!_ " Nya shouted back, flustered. The others looked bewilderedly from aliens to Nya—the former cuddled lovingly up to the siren, the latter punching buttons and getting progressively more irritated. Finally, pushed beyond her limits, Nya stomped over to the siren and dealt it a kick. It shut off.

Three other sirens switched on. Nya sank her head into her hands.

"Ma didn't lie!" Jay hollered directly by Lloyd's ear. "Violence really isn't the answer!"

* * *

 **A/N: Ergh. I've been trying to maintain a balance here; on one hand, these guys are still teenagers, and I want to let them act their ages a little, goof off now and then. On the other hand, they _are_ ninja charged with protecting all of Ninjago, and I want to show how much training, discipline, and expertise that involves. In the end, I wind up with a vibe that I fear is dreadfully close to a completely different show about ninjas. XP**

 **Heh. This chapter was written wayyyyyyy before Season 6 came out; I was not aware that Lloyd being the most giggly member of the team was about to become canon. XD**

 **Also! I think I've found some fairly accurate representations of alien speech! The _Katamari Damacy_ soundtrack has some strange noises that approximate what I had in mind; there's a link to it on my profile, if you want to get an idea of what the aliens sound like! ^_^ I've also put up a few other videos with story-related content, just for the heck of it. **


	15. What Does the Mopp Say?

**Heh; just for the record, I like** **both dubstep and 80's rock just fine.**

 **This'll be the last alien-licious chapter for a while; I've gotta get serious with a couple of the other non-alien subplots. The little guys'll still be making regular appearances, though!**

 **And thanks again for all the support, everyone! Real live fanart, even . . . I can't believe it! I'm in heaven here. ^_^**

 **Oh, and does anyone out there have skills as a beta reader/editor? My friend HailsStorm is looking for some editing help with her story. Talk to Hails if you're interested! :)**

 **o~o~o~o**

 **Guest: Heh; is it that long? Only a week. ^_^'' As it is, I'm catching up to my backlog at an alarming pace . . . I may have to slow down the update schedule eventually.**

 **o~o~o~o**

 **Dragongirl15: Thanks for the review! Yeah, it's after Season 4. I can handle Titanium Zane and Garmadon's loss, but I'm not about to deal with Ghostie-Cole. :P**

 **Well thank you! We'll see about those aliens . . . Weeeee'll see.**

 **Sorry girl detective, but nope** ** _._** **;P Jay is one of my least favorite characters; in the past I actually disliked him. I've warmed up to him with time, but one of the reasons I'm writing this story is to see if I can get into his head a little and get to like him better.**

 **Besides, I never really understood the concept of getting jealous over fictional characters. I can get having a crush on a character** — **I've totally been there** — **but actually wanting them for yourself? Iiii dunno, I just find it a little creepy. No offense.**

 **As to Jaya, gracious, I don't dislike it! I dislike the way people act about it. No pairing in all creation could be worth the amount of anger, hate, and illogical screeching that Rebooted triggered. I was never super-into Jaya in the first place, but the fandom's behavior after Rebooted pretty much killed any appreciation I had for it.**

 **Season 6 cleaned up nice, though. I like that they made it a more mutual relationship, instead of Jay just throwing himself at a largely indifferent Nya.**

 **o~o~o~o**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Ahhh . . . but what if I told you they might _not_? Maybe they'll never get him! Kai's a sly one, y'know. He knows allllllll their tricks . . . alllllllways one jump ahead . . .**

 **o~o~o~o**

 **mangamaker314: Hi there! Don't know if you're reading this, but here goes. Thanks for the links! I kinnnnda wish you'd asked permission beforehand instead of after the fact, but I do appreciate you coming all the way out here to contact me. I think FFN ate the links, though, I couldn't get them to work. Sorry about that; FFN doesn't like URLs very much. ^_^''**

* * *

 **Sept 7**

 **11:26 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Cole and Zane**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Nya finally got all the sirens to shut up. It involved disassembling them. She made some tentative passes at putting them back together, but soon grew discouraged at the welter of wires and gears. Jay didn't know what to make of them either.

"Want to start working on our invention?" he offered, hoping to make her feel better. Nya cheered up at once; she and Jay took the aliens and absconded to the workroom.

"We'd better get cracking, the deadline is two months," said Jay, pulling Mopp out of his hood and looking for a place to set him down. The alien suddenly made a strange electronic rumbling sound, vibrating in Jay's grip. The blue ninja almost dropped him.

"What in heck is that?" he asked, startled, as Mopp swung his tentacles and rumbled again. Meep hollered an ascending " _vwweeeeeep!_ " from across the room.

"That," said Nya, looking on in disbelief, "is dubstep."

"What?"

"That's one of the dubstep songs they're always listening to." Nya made a face. "I've heard it so many times I actually recognize it by now."

"So, they wanna listen to dubstep, huh?" said Jay, as Mopp growled like some kind of goblin cat.

"Please, no," groaned Nya.

Chuckling, Jay set Mopp down and went to flick on the radio instead, keeping the volume down. Meanwhile Nya began to rummage around in her paperwork.

"So I have some rough sketches and blueprints," she began. "But I'm not sure what we should build it out of. Do you think a carbon-steel framework would work? We might have a tough time shaping it . . . "

"Actually," said Jay, "I'd been waiting to tell you that. While I was on patrol yesterday, I got something I think we could use."

Nya raised her eyebrows, interested, as Jay disappeared down the hall to the bunkroom and returned with a large plain box. Grinning, he pulled it open and spilled its contents onto the worktable. Nya gave something dangerously akin to a squeal.

"You're _kidding_ me! NanoKlix?"

"The one and only."

"But . . . oh wow. How did you get a hold of them?"

"I asked . . . asked around at Borg Industries," said Jay tactfully. Really he'd just asked Mindy. "They were the ones who developed the technology, after all—I made a deal that we'd be free publicity for them if they let us build the framework out of these."

"Fantastic," said Nya, grinning excitedly as she began to fiddle with the carbon-nanofiber construction pieces. "I've been wanting to work with these ever since Borg Industries announced they were working on the _formula_ for them."

"Me too," said Jay, picking up a few pieces of his own. Handling them was kind of a rush—every inventor, designer, and general science geek in Ninjago had been drooling over the concept of NanoKlix for months. Borg Industries never failed to impress; the pieces were lightweight but incredibly strong, with just the right flexibility, and came in various shapes and sizes. The little modules could be combined in an almost infinite number of ways, giving a satisfying _click!_ and holding firm when you pushed them together.

"This is definitely going to be able to stand the speed of takeoff," said Nya, pressing down on the top of the little tower she had built. "Let's get to work!"

A while later, Kai poked his head into the workroom.

"Who's dying, and why?" he asked.

"Very funny," snorted Jay. He and Nya had been singing along to some corny old-fashioned song on the radio as they worked, and admittedly Jay's singing was far from the best. Meep groaned, rolling onto his back. 80's rock clearly did not suit him.

"So what are you guys doing?" asked Kai, leaning against the doorframe.

"You mean besides making horrible 80's-like noises?" grinned Nya. "We're building the framework of our spaceship!"

Kai surveyed the early stages of the ship's skeleton.

" . . . You're building it out of Tinkertoys?"

"Tinkertoys?!" Jay looked up, indignant.

"Isn't that what those are?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jay huffed. "This is one of the most advanced construction systems in modern times! Borg Industries worked forever on the formula, and all the top scientists and inventors in the world are dying to use this stuff! It's pure _science_."

"Ohhhh." Kai nodded. He watched for a bit as Jay and Nya carefully consulted the blueprints, adding more pieces here and there. At length he shook his head.

"I can't shake it. It still looks like Tinkertoys."

Jay fixed him with a glare.

"Well, it _does!_ " protested Kai.

"Blasphemy!" growled Jay, and chucked a few connected pieces at Kai's head. The fire ninja ducked, stifling a grin.

"'Blasphemy'? Really?"

"He's got a point, you know." Nya came to Jay's defense, although she was hiding a smile too. "These are way too advanced to be called a toy."

"Geez. I call 'em like I see 'em," shrugged Kai, and disappeared before any more attempts upon his skull could be made. Jay grumbled, going to fetch the pieces he'd thrown.

"Tinkertoys. Hmph!"

Nya giggled, and without thinking Jay made a face. She shoved his arm playfully as they got back to work; Jay ventured to elbow her back gently, wondering at himself. Afterwards he eyed her shyly a time or two, a little surprised at how natural it felt to goof around with her. Once he forgot about trying to impress her all the time, it really wasn't so bad.

* * *

Zane came back from his patrol first again. He stopped by the kitchen to get a snack for his falcon and found Kai making dinner. As the falcon chirped gleefully and worried down a hotdog, Zane looked over his shoulder in the direction of the workroom.

"What is that noise?"

"That," said Kai, smiling wearily, "is Jay singing."

"Singing? . . . " Zane raised an eyebrow. He listened for a while. "I . . . cannot seem to pick out a melody. And it does not maintain any standard key."

"Of couse it does," said Kai. "It's the key of J."

"I thought they only went up to G . . . "

"They do, but it's not like Jay lets that stop him." Kai chuckled and leaned closer to the Nindroid conspiratorially. "If you go over there, make sure you tell him those spaceship materials look like Tinkertoys."

"Oh?" The Nindroid studied Kai's mischievous look, processing. "Is this a joke?"

"Heh; you could say that."

Zane nodded, looking pleased with himself for having figured it out. He took his falcon on his arm (with half a hotdog still jammed crosswise in its beak) and headed down the hall. Kai muffled his laughter, keeping his ears pricked; sure enough, soon there was a distant call of "Blasphemy!" and an indignant squawk from the falcon. Only seconds later, Jay stormed into the kitchen with Mopp fastened to his head and pointed at Kai.

"You put him up to that, didn't you?"

"Now what makes you think that?" asked Kai, trying and failing to look sober.

Zane's drawing assignment for that night, since he was so spectacularly endowed with mental Photoshop, was to edit a pair of bunny ears onto Kai's head.

* * *

In the evening, after the dishes were washed, Jay settled down on the kitchen floor to watch the aliens drawing. Lloyd plunked down next to him with a notepad. They were trying to brainstorm ideas for outsmarting Kai, but they were working in a very limited sphere here: besides the rule about not messing with anyone who was asleep, a large proportion of jumpscare pranks were also out of the question. When you lived on a ship where 75% of the occupants carried deadly weapons 65% of the day, jumping out at people unexpectedly could result in injury or death roughly 50% of the time. Lousy odds. They also had to balance out considerations about what would be too complicated, too mean, not mean enough, and what ran too big a risk of catching an uninvolved party in the crossfire.

All things considered, it was pretty amazing how many ideas they managed to compile.

"Aren't you guys taking this a little too far?" asked Cole good-naturedly, grabbing an apple for dessert. "So he messed with you a little on the spur of the moment, geez. Is it worth this massive an effort?"

"It started out perfectly reasonable," said Lloyd, writing studiously. "But it escalated."

"Like an escalator factory," agreed Jay grimly. "It's war."

"Seriously, guys. There's better ways to spend your time."

"Geez, there you go again, being prematurely twenty." Jay chucked a pencil in Cole's general direction. "Don't leave us!"

Cole dodged, chuckling, and crouched down to see what Lloyd was writing. Meanwhile Mopp waved a crayon under Jay's nose.

" _Leeeeeeeeeef!_ " announced the alien.

"You have good handwriting, little guy," grinned Jay. "For an ancient Sumerian."

" _Leeeeeeeeeef!_ " insisted Mopp again.

"No, that's a crayon." Jay turned his attention more fully to Mopp, tugging the stick of wax gently out of his grasp and holding it up before him. "Crayonnnnnn."

"C'mon Jay, really?" Cole looked over. "Misako's been trying for days and hasn't made any progress. Maybe they just can't learn English."

"Of course they can," retorted Jay. "I _know_ they can. They're intelligent!"

"So are we, and I don't see _you_ learning to speak MeepMopp."

"That's just 'cos I haven't—" Jay's head snapped up. "Wait. Did you just admit I'm intelligent?"

"Uh—slip of the tongue," said Cole, hiding a smile. "Won't happen ag—"

"Shush," interrupted Jay, holding up one hand and closing his eyes. "I want to savor this moment."

Lloyd and Cole chuckled. Jay's mock nirvana lasted only a few seconds; then Mopp bonked him on the nose with an art utensil.

" _EEeeeeEEEEEee!_ "

" _Crayon,_ little guy." Jay resumed his efforts. "Crayonnnnnnnnn."

Kai, who had just stepped in through the door, eyed Jay oddly.

"Sooooo . . . Jay thinks he can get his aliens to talk," he said.

"They're not _my_ aliens!" said Jay, irritated at the persistence of this fallacy. Kai looked him up and down—Meep clambering atop his head, Mopp practically in his lap, both of them fumbling for the crayon Jay held—and nodded ironically.

"Uh-huh."

Jay snorted, but was distracted when Mopp again waved the crayon at him.

" _Eeeeeeeee!_ "

"Okay, let's try colors instead." Jay picked up another crayon. "Red. This one's _red._ "

" _Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!_ "

"Well, we may as well face it," said Kai to the others. "Those aliens are officially his kids."

"Hate to say it, but you're right," said Cole, as Jay continued listing out colors to the squealing aliens. "I mean, not like that'd be so bad in and of itself, it's just . . . " Cole shook his head, scooting closer to the others and lowering his voice. "We still don't know all that much about those aliens, and it's only been a few days. There's still a chance they might turn out to be dangerous, or they might have to leave, or who knows—they might even die. I . . . dunno if it's a good idea, Jay getting so attached to them."

A sober silence.

"It's a little late to do anything about that, isn't it?" said Lloyd.

"We'll just have to wait for the alien germs to kick in," said Kai darkly. Lloyd gave him a look. "Well _whaaaat?_ Don't tell me those little slimebags look sanitary!"

"Now you're taking it too far the other way," said Cole. "They're not _that_ bad."

"Yeah, you'd like 'em if you got to know 'em a little more," said Lloyd, reaching over to grab Mopp. The alien, who had been studiously watching Jay's lecture on colors, gave an indignant squawk and flailed in Lloyd's hands.

" _Eeeeeeeeeeee!_ " he squealed with even more vehemence, reaching his tentacles back towards Jay like a toddler being carried away from the candy aisle.

"Hey, c'mon, spend a little time with Kai for a change!" said Lloyd. Mopp found the prospect unpalatable. Glowering at Lloyd with one eye, he fixed the other on Jay, bunched himself all up in pure exertion, and gave a strained howl of " _Eyyyyyyyy-eeeeeeeeeeee!_ "

Lloyd almost dropped him.

"Wait . . . " he said slowly. "Are they saying . . . _Jay?_ "

" _Eyyyyy-eeeeeeee!_ " repeated Mopp. The ninja all looked at one another. Lloyd handed Mopp back.

"Say 'Jay'," said the lightning ninja cautiously, hardly daring to hope.

" _Eeeeeeeeee!_ " The alien looked earnestly up into his face. That wasn't proof of anything, though.

"What about you?" Jay tapped the alien between the eyes. "Can you say 'Mopp'?"

" _Mop!_ " chirped the alien immediately.

"And your big brother is? . . . " Jay pointed to Meep, eyes wide. The others watched in silent suspense.

" _Eep!_ " said Mopp without hesitation. Swallowing, desperately biting back a grin, Jay pointed to himself.

" _EeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE!_ "

"THEY CAN TALK!" Crayons and paper flew all over the kitchen as Jay exploded to his feet. "They can talk they can talk they can TALK!"

Everyone who wasn't already in the kitchen came rushing in to see what was happening. Jay had slipped on a handful of crayons and was now sprawled out on his back, still whooping; Cole and Lloyd were speechless with laughter and even Kai, despite trying to maintain his disapproval, was grinning lopsidedly. Meanwhile the aliens seemed equally euphoric at finally being understood, screeching and flailing and in Meep's case richocheting all over the room.

"What about Nya? Say 'Nya'!" whooped Jay, rolling over and scooping Mopp up.

" _Ahhhh!_ " sang Mopp, and Meep, not to be outdone, echoed " _eeee-aahhhhh!_ "

"And me?" asked Lloyd. Mopp gave an adorable " _Oyyyy!_ " that sounded like a radio being tuned. Lloyd laughed delightedly. Meanwhile Jay, sitting up, leveled a finger at Cole.

"I told you, didn't I? I told you I could teach my aliens to talk!"

" _Your_ aliens?" Cole laughed, venturing in all the chaos to rub Mopp's head. "Okay, so how about 'Cole'?"

This put a bit of a damper on things.

" _. . . glurp?_ " ventured Mopp.

"Aw c'mon, say 'Cole'," coaxed Jay.

The aliens looked shy. Meep made a puzzled bubbly noise.

"Heh. Guess it serves me right for avoiding 'em." Cole smiled ruefully.

"It's probably just a harder sound for them to say," said Jay, in a glorious enough mood to be extra-nice. "Give 'em a little more time to practice, they'll get the hang of it."

Cole chuckled, scratching Mopp's nose. Bit by bit he seemed to be overcoming his aversion to aliens—so long as they kept their internal fluids to themselves, that is.

Misako was delighted to hear that there was a chance of teaching the aliens to speak, even if it was only through strangled vowel-sounds. A lot of the evening passed by in fussing over the aliens, trying to teach them everyone's names and common household words. Soon the critters began to look a little overwrought from all the attention, and Jay (surprisingly authoritative) shooed everyone except Misako off.

As he headed to bed that night, he swung by the kitchen one last time and found Meep and Mopp cuddled up next to each other in the sink, singing their duet. He stood and listened; when the aliens were done, they chirped and pulled themselves out of the salty water, balancing on the sink's edge to greet him.

"You sure showed 'em today, huh?" he murmured proudly, scratching them both between the eyes.

" _Weep weep,_ " said Mopp drowsily.

"Yeah." Jay chuckled. "Now I guess it's our turn to figure out a little of _your_ language. We'll get there." He yawned and gave the aliens a nudge, indicating they should get back in the water. "Get some sleep, squirts. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

" _Eeeeeeee,_ " crooned both aliens softly in unison, and despite the fact they were both dripping wet, Jay could no longer resist scooping them into a hug.


	16. Good Luck, I'm Behind 7 Proxies

**Bahhhhhh. *Wades through knee-deep fluff* What is all this? I was supposed to get serious with the plot in this chapter! *trips* Jay? What are you doing under all this fluff? Gerroutathere.**

 **Ergh, let's see. We have the introduction of a subplot that I won't be able to follow up on very well but that it's too late to remove, some foreshadowing disguised as fluff, and the nudging along of three other subplots. Nothing major, but I guess it'll have to do . . .**

 **A** **ngel Star Ninja: Well, I guess by process of elimination she is, yeah. Unless Misako wants to volunteer. XD By the way, thanks for sticking with this story! I know that you aren't big on OCs, and what with Meep, Mopp, and Mindy, and more hinted at, I guess it's getting a little OC-ish in here. ^_^''**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review!**

 **mangamaker314: No worries! Yeah, I found your Scratch profile, but I had a little difficulty getting the images to work. I did get the Ninjago Memes 2 one running, eventually. Thanks for reading, then! Appreciate it. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sept 8**

 **7:04 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

"So, who had the nightmares this time?" asked Kai groggily at breakfast.

"Me," said Cole. "You should know. You wound up on the floor only a few minutes after I did, and we compared notes."

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. You dreamed of killer manta rays with chainsaws for teeth." Kai yawned. "Anyone else?"

No affirmitives.

"Well, so the Nightmare Fairy restrained herself last night," said Kai. He raised an eyebrow at Lloyd, who was fiddling with his mom's camcorder. Squinting through the viewfinder, the youngest ninja swung the lens around to Jay, who had Mopp in his hoodie as usual. Jay noticed he was on camera and pulled a face.

"You're wrecking the film!" laughed Lloyd.

"Sorry man, reflex." Jay shrugged.

"What, realize you're on camera, look as dorky as possible?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"I think that's your natural personality trying to shine through," chuckled Lloyd, swinging the camera around to the rest of the table.

"Yeah?" Jay snorted. " _I_ think the tree needs pruning."

"Ohhh, for—are we still doing that?"

"Heck yeah," said Kai. "Your hair's not growing any shorter, and we're still not out of green puns."

Lloyd turned away from the camera long enough to make a face himself. Jay chuckled ruefully.

"I gotta be honest, kiddo, I don't miss being the youngest."

"Yeah, well you'd think—" Lloyd suddenly stopped, realization dawning on his face. "Wait. _Wait._ I'm not the youngest! Zane is!"

"Whaaat, you mean because of the rebuild? That doesn't count," said Cole.

"Yeah it does! It totally does!"

"I guess it kind of does." Nya looked the Nindroid over with a new fascination. "Wow. Zane's technically an infant! That's a lot to take in before breakfast."

Meanwhile a grin was spreading across Lloyd's face.

"I have a little brother . . . " he said slowly.

"Donnnn't let it go to your head," warned Jay, wagging a spoon at him. "You're not moving up in the pecking order; he's still way older than you brain-wise."

"No, no, I've got it; it averages out," Cole laughed. "They're twins!"

"What? . . . " Poor Zane was listening to this conversation in utter bewilderment. "I am not an infant. I may have been recently rebuilt, but my mental capacities are—"

Kai chuckled and patted his arm.

"Relax, relax, we're only kidding around. It's kinda far-out, but it doesn't really change anything."

"It changes a _few_ things," corrected Lloyd. "I get to take on official older-brother duties now!"

"What . . . does that mean?" asked Zane, trying not to look apprehensive. He wasn't quite sure what this whole "pecking order" thing was about.

"Lotsa stuff." Lloyd took a mouthful of cereal. "There's, like, practically a contract for it. I might have to give you a little more of a hard time now, but I've also got to look out for you extra, and teach you things, and stuff."

"Oh." Zane considered. "That does not sound so bad. I . . . suppose I could use a little enlightenment where video games are concerned."

"Welp, that's what I'm gonna do then!" Lloyd scooted closer to the Nindroid, beaming. "Don't worry, buddy. I'm gonna be the best big-little-twin brother you could ever ask for."

"He's had great role models," said Kai with a straight face.

"Yeah!" Lloyd nodded. "I know exactly what not to do."

There was a shout of laughter, and some crumpled napkins were chucked at Lloyd's head; Zane observed the chaos with a vaguely puzzled smile.

* * *

Lloyd and Kai had to leave for their patrols right after that. Jay lurked around the doorway of the armory as they went to gear up, oddly quiet. Lloyd was still grinning over the prospect of older-brotherhood (finally!), but was also a little distracted. He kept a careful eye on Kai as the red ninja took out the box with his patrol gear. However, he was caught entirely off-guard by the spring-loaded snakes in his _own_ gear box.

"What the heck?!" he demanded from the floor, festooned in several polka-dotted snakes. Jay facepalmed. How had Kai caught onto _that_ one too?

"Karma much?" said Kai, struggling not to laugh. Lloyd groaned.

"I have reallllllly lost my touch . . . " He disentangled a snake from his hair ruefully. "Good thing Cole wasn't here to see this."

"Well hey, keep trying guys. You'll get it _someday_." Kai chuckled, pulling Lloyd to his feet. "Maybe. Possibly." He dodged as the green ninja aimed a light punch at him. "A slight possibility?"

"Hey, hey, hang on," interrupted Jay. "If you moved the snakes, they had to jump out at _you_ first. We did get you!"

"Hey, we did!" Lloyd brightened.

"Nope." Kai shrugged dismissively, going back to rummaging in his gear box. "I was expecting them, so no joke."

"No you weren't."

"Yeah I was. I saw you putting them in."

Lloyd and Jay exchanged a dubious glance, unwilling to let go of a possible victory.

"Why should we believe you?" said Jay at last, folding his arms.

"Because I have a springy snake, and I can strike you down with it." Kai was busy disentangling his weapons belt, but he waved a stray snake at Jay with his spare hand.

"I have no fear of thy paltry serpent," scoffed Jay. "I shall proclaim again, you fell for it!"

"Thou lie'st." Kai looked up just long enough to pull back the tail of the snake and shoot it in Jay's direction. Surprisingly, it hit. Jay gave an overdramatic yowl, spun around, and keeled over, one arm slung over his forehead.

"Darn. I meant for that to be a warning shot." Kai surveyed the supine ninja regretfully. "Guess you get his bunk now, Lloyd."

Lloyd tried his very best to look unamused, and failed. He and Kai continued gathering up their weapons and communicators and various other gear, stepping over Jay as necessary.

"Mind rolling over in your grave, sir?" asked Kai politely. "You're on my mask."

"Sucks for you."

Probably the most sarcastic voice from beyond the grave ever. Kai, rolling his eyes, stepped over and prodded the lightning ninja with one toe.

"Come on," he said. "Up."

"No." Jay settled back more comfortably. "I'm dead."

"Oh you're dead, are you?" said Kai, hands on hips. "Well then, you're coming with me. To the salt mines!"

Passing by the armory, Nya raised one eyebrow as Kai plodded past her, dragging Jay by the ankles.

"Prisoner of war?" she asked drily.

"No, I'm dead," said Jay, his hands tucked behind his head. "He's taking me to the salt mines."

"To the salt mines!" growled Kai.

"Salt mines?" said Nya. "You know, I hate to break this to you, but you're not going to get much mine work out of him if he's dead."

"Shhhhh. I'm waiting to see how long before he realizes!" Jay stage-whispered.

"Oh, we have systems in place for that," said Kai off-handedly. "We bring these guys back to life artificially. Zombie miners, you know? Best kind. Never go on strike."

"Wait, wait, what?" Jay started to kick. "Hold on a second, I'm not going along with this if I'm actually gonna have to _work!_ "

"Too late, pal. To the salt mines!" Kai started to drag the struggling ninja along again. "Stop squirming, you're dead."

Nya shook her head, chuckling. Off in the corner Lloyd was cracking up muffledly. Par for the course.

"What is even going on here?" said Cole, appearing in the hall with a cup of coffee. "Kai, Lloyd, why are you still here?"

"Because Jay's dead!" said Kai.

"Jay, stop being dead." Cole sighed. "Would it kill you all to act like adults for a bit?"

Groans all around.

"Don't leave us!" protested Nya.

"Yeah, we've already lost Jay," said Kai, finally letting go of the lightning ninja's ankles and going to retrieve his mask.

* * *

After Lloyd and Kai left, Jay slipped away to work on the spaceship with Nya some more. They were both too excited to wait for afternoon; Jay hoped he could worm out of training for a little while.

Meep and Mopp were not impressed by the proceedings. They seemed to be in a hyperactive mood today, flopping around the room and tossing things about.

"Shhhhh! You'll attract attention!" protested Jay as the twosome began to sing their duet—but apparently once they started, there was no stopping them. Jay sighed and spread his hands, glancing to Nya regretfully.

Sure enough, Cole soon poked his head in through the door.

"Oh, there you are." He looked at the aliens, who were still alternating blithely from note to warbled note, then surveyed the mess on the table. "Kinda deep into the Tinkertoys, huh?"

"You _too?_ " Jay groaned. "Blasphemy!"

Cole rolled his eyes and leaned aside as an allan wrench boomeranged past his head.

"Yeah, yeah." He slouched against the doorframe, yawning. "C'mon, we should get to training."

Jay studied the drowsy-looking ninja.

"Dude, you can barely stand upright."

"It's not _that_ bad." Cole yawned again. "I just missed a little sleep last night with the stupid nightmares, and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet."

"Well, it's no good training when you're in that condition," said Jay sagely. "You've gotta be alert, you know!"

"Ohhhh, I know what you're trying to do," grumbled Cole. He sighed and rubbed at his eyelids, clearly weighing his options. Nya and Jay snuck a hopeful glance at each other.

"Ah, fine," muttered Cole at last. "You talked me into it. Just a few minutes!"

"Sure thing." Jay nodded off-handedly, trying not to let his elation show. As soon as Cole was out the door, though, Jay and Nya turned to each other with grins and exchanged a silent high-five.

"Wake me up in half an hour at most, okay?" Cole's voice drifted down the hallway. "I mean it. No stalling around so you can mess with your Tinkertoys!"

"BLASPHEMY!" Jay shouted back, shaking his fist.

"Oh, for . . . " In the distance the bunkroom door thumped shut. Nya giggled and grabbed a screwdriver.

"Okay, we got lucky! Let's make it count."

A knowing glance and a smirk passed between them as they set to work. After all, the term "half an hour" could be open to a surprising degree of . . . creative interpretation.

* * *

Cole was not amused when he found himself awoken a full _three_ half-hours later. He was grouchily effective all through training, trouncing Jay thoroughly every time they sparred. Zane and Nya didn't fare so well against him either—even when, as practice for the Technicians' immobilizing spray-foam, Zane froze his feet to the floor. Cole was good at stationary combat.

"Geez," groaned Jay when training finally ended. He felt gingerly at a bruise he'd contracted on his temple. Zane grimaced sympathetically; he didn't bruise himself, but he was pretty sure a few bolts were going to need tightening. Judging from his somewhat distracted expression, PIXAL was giving him an earful about it.

"We're getting there!" Cole, in a much better mood by now, swiped at a shallow gash Zane's shurikens had left across his cheek. "We need to start focusing more on techniques just for the Technicians, though. The blinding gases and stuff. When Lloyd and Kai get back from patrolling, we can train again."

Jay muttered something about those two staying away for a long time if they knew what was good for them. Cole whapped his arm reproachfully.

They went down to the kitchen to get something to drink. Mopp was in the sink as usual and Meep was crawling around in the cereal cupboard, making noises of discovery. Within a few minutes it came to light that the aliens had a very strange understanding of bottled sports drinks.

"What _is_ this?" demanded Cole, trying to pry Meep away from the plastic bottle.

"I believe he has mistaken it for one of his own kind," said Zane. "Probably because there is liquid inside."

A long string of experimenting and general fooling around began. The aliens eventually figured out that plastic sandwich bags filled with water were in fact _not_ their baby cousins; after that they found a somewhat unsettling joy in smacking the bags until they burst open. Nya brought out a bag of water balloons she'd found while cleaning out the spare room, which intrigued the aliens even more. They chased the colorful rubber blobs back and forth across the kitchen floor, tweeting delightedly and shrieking like banshees if one happened to pop.

In the midst of all the chaos, Misako poked her head into the kitchen.

"Jay, a video call just came in for you," she said.

Jay cast a wistful glance back to the others, who were filling more water balloons for the aliens to play with. Then, however, he realized that there were very few people who would know the _Bounty's_ number . . .

Sure enough, it was Mindy.

"Hi there, Jay," she called as soon as she saw him. Jay swallowed, hoping desperately he wasn't blushing at the sight of the pretty face on the video screen. She was wearing a soft-pink business suit this time, bringing out her eyes.

"How're those Klix-things holding up?" she asked.

"Oh, they're great!" said Jay. "Thanks again for setting us up with those, the building is going amazingly."

"You'll have to send me some pictures," said Mindy, smiling coyly. "But Jay, I wanted to ask you about something else."

"Uh . . . y-yeah?" He hoped it wasn't something foolhardy, because ten to one he would do it.

"Well see, Borg Industries is holding a kind of employee formal, and everyone is allowed to bring a friend from outside the company. I asked Nico"—that was her boyfriend—"but he can't stand anything that might involve technobabble." She gave a tinkle of fond laughter. "So I got to thinking . . . Well . . . We're friends, aren't we?"

Jay slipped his hands under the control panel and gripped the edge as hard as he could, willing himself not to grin like an idiot. This was just _too_ good to be true. Way too good. Were all his fantasies coming to life?

"I'd love to," he said, managing to control his smile down to something reasonable. "But, uh . . . when is it?"

Calculations shot through his head. Ideally it would be Saturday, when he had the city patrol; then he wouldn't have to tell anyone that he was going.

"Heh, well—sorry about the short notice—it's tomorrow, actually."

Ohhhhhh. Tomorrow. Tomorrow Jay did have patrol, but it was in the country. Cole had the city one. Shoot . . .

. . . Maybe he could somehow talk Cole into switching patrol circuits? Cole would be happy to get the shorter, easier patrol, so maybe he wouldn't ask questions. Maybe?

Jay snuck a glance up at Mindy again, shivering slightly as he met her brilliant eyes. For those eyes, he'd risk that and way more.

"I think . . . I think I can work something out."

* * *

 **A/N: Ooh la la, Jay. Goin' for it, aren't we?**

 **Say, how are you guys feeling about this whole Mindy situation, anyway? Just so I can get a feel for how some future developments are going to go over. Don't feel like you have to be polite about this at all; I'm ready for honest opinions. Lay it on me. :]**

 **Next chapter, we get some Kai and Lloyd shenanigans!**


	17. The Princess is in Another Castle

**Yosh! Finally some actual plot and action and ninja-ing! Ha haaaa . . . *careens into doorframe***

 **Angel Star Ninja: Mindy's pretty important, actually. I can't tell you why though, that'd ruin the surprise. ;P But yeah, I guess you could say her purpose just now is to be a love interest for Jay. He and Nya have agreed to stay just friends, remember? So technically he's "free" . . . and he's got the hots for Mindy _bad_. :P**

 **As to Nya, nah, you're probably not the only person to like her. I dunno, personally I think she's pretty okay. I kind of ignored her during the early seasons, and then after Rebooted I was pretty ticked with her, but during Season 5 I got to like her quite a bit.**

 **JayaForever421: Woah, woah, woah! Mindy couldn't _steal_ Jay if she tried** — **he's a free man. This is after Season 4 but before Season 5, so Jay and Nya are currently in awkward avoidance mode, like in the show. They're on friendly terms and working together on the spaceship project, but no romantic strings here! Heck, Jay could go date Gayle Gossip now. If he was into older women. XD**

 **BriarDIEZ: He's leeeeea-vinnnnnng . . . well, unless there's an opportunity to clown around that he can't resist. Which happens often. XP**

 **Lydia: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure . . . after all, he only fell in love with Nya 'cos she was hot, and Mindy's a lot hotter. :P But yeah, I did hear about Cole! And he's gonna have a ghost scar, too. :3**

* * *

 **Sept 8**

 **1:55 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Lloyd was almost finished with his country circuit when his communicator buzzed.

"What's up, Kai?" he asked, slowing his dragon slightly.

"How do you stand with your patrol?"

"Only a couple miles left. Why?"

"I dunno . . . " There was a smirk in Kai's voice. "I've got an . . . interesting lead going here. Wanna come join me?"

Lloyd felt a smile twitch across his face.

"I thought you told me not to do stupid stuff anymore."

"Well, I _meant_ without adult supervision."

Lloyd gave a strangled snort at the thought of anything involving Kai counting as supervision by an "adult."

"For your sake, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Kai made an annoyed noise. "Are you coming or not?"

"Sure, I'm game."

"Great. Meet me on the roof of the Gargan's department store."

Lloyd hung up, grinning; there was a reason he and Kai were each other's favorite mission partners. Kai liked someone he could drag with him into a fantastic and possibly pointless imbroglio, but not too many of his teammates fit the bill. Cole liked thrills but was usually too square and responsible to pursue them; Zane would go along with anything but lacked zest; Jay was also pretty compliant, but tended to drag his heels, panic when things got intense, or just complain a lot. Lloyd was the perfect mix of willing and eager.

As for Lloyd's side of it, he just liked a chance to do something crazy. And Kai, while providing the handy excuse of (snicker) adult supervision, was _good_ at crazy.

Twenty minutes later Lloyd was on the department store roof. Remembering the Snow Dragon tunnel, he landed about fifteen feet from Kai, held up his hands peacefully, then made a vaguely jazz-hands gesture, making absolutely _sure_ Kai saw him coming this time around.

"Very funny," grunted Kai as Lloyd dropped to his stomach beside him. In retaliation he reached over to push the green ninja's hair back unnecessarily far, squinting as if unsure it was really Lloyd under there. Lloyd batted his hand away, chuckling.

"So what's the big lead?"

"Those two guys I was following, last time I was on patrol here?" murmured Kai, nodding down into the backstreet below. "I just saw the human one a while ago."

"Are you sure it was him?"

"Positive. I'd know him anywhere."

"Awesome," grinned Lloyd. "Where is he?"

"He's in that pub. He should be coming out soon, and then we can follow him!"

Lloyd nodded and settled himself down more comfortably. He and Kai lay in wait for a while, watching the door of the pub. Several people went in and out, but Kai said none of them were the right guy.

"You sure he didn't go out through a back door or something?" said Lloyd, sighing.

"There _is_ no back door; only a side one. I'd have seen him," said Kai. Equally bored, he rested his chin on his hands and let his mind wander. "That mouthguard of yours works, by the way."

"It does?"

"Yeah. You actually started mumbling while Cole and I were both awake last night, but I don't think Cole caught on."

"And no Cursed Realm opening?" said Lloyd anxiously.

"Well, we're here, aren't we?"

"Phew." Lloyd smiled, relieved.

"It's going to be hard to keep it under wraps for long, though," said Kai. "What with everyone waking up from nightmares every night, someone's going to hear you garbling and get suspicious pretty soon."

"Yeah . . . " Lloyd looked away, unwilling to recall the talk he'd had with Sensei Wu. He deflected the subject. "What _is_ up with these nightmares, anyway?"

"Eh, they often seem to come in waves," shrugged Kai. "Something about the alignment of the moon, maybe. Or maybe because we're used to the ship swaying underneath us, and now it's—" He stiffened, his eyes snapping into focus. "That's him."

Lloyd peered carefully over the edge of the building, studying their target. The man, oblivious to being watched, set off down the narrow street. Lloyd and Kai glanced at each other and followed.

They slipped from rooftop to rooftop, keeping their quarry just in sight, helping each other on the broader gaps and higher climbs. Eventually the fellow went in through the back door of a large building—an electronics store.

"Bingo," murmured Kai.

"In broad daylight," said Lloyd, appalled.

Swiftly the two ninja swung down from the roof, landing with barely a sound and pressing close to the wall. Kai angled his head, listening through the propped-open back door. The guy was shuffling and knocking about in the back room. Eventually his footsteps receded.

Kai poked his head through the door, then gestured for Lloyd to join him. With one last cautious look around the alleyway, they whisked inside.

The stockroom was empty, except for shelves full of boxed electronics and a large trolley that stood in the middle of the way, stacked with multiple plain cardboard cartons.

"He's trying to make off with a whole _shipment_ of electronics this time!" hissed Kai, shaking his head. "Keep a lookout, I'll see what he's swiping!"

Lloyd nodded and watched both doors tensely as Kai dropped down next to the trolley, snatched a box, and looked around for a boxcutter. Then he smacked himself in the forehead and slit the tape with his dagger.

"Woah," he breathed. "It's all cell phones! Look at this!" He began going through another box; also full of brand-new smartphones, each in their own cardboard shelf packaging.

"Why are they all different brands?" whispered Lloyd, dropping to a crouch next to him.

"He must've just grabbed random phones and stuffed 'em in!" said Kai. "And he wants to just walk out with all these? Talk about your audacious!"

"What do we—"

"HEY!" A sudden loud voice caused both ninja to leap to their feet. "What're you doing?!"

It was the miscreant himself. Kai and Lloyd looked at each other for the barest second, then lunged. Lloyd whooped "Ninjaaaa-GO!" and threw himself into a Spinjitzu tornado—the trolley crashed onto its side, scattering boxes across the floor—and by the time Lloyd stopped spinning he had the guy's arms pinned behind his back. Kai clamped a hand over his mouth and a dagger blade to his throat.

"You thought you could get away with it?" He glared the struggling man in the eye. " _Really?_ "

"What is going _on_ in here?" demanded yet another voice. The store's manager had come rushing in at the noise.

"We caught this wise guy trying to clean out your store, sir!" said Lloyd over his shoulder, keeping a firm grip on his captive.

The manager looked put-out.

"That's one of my employees!"

Kai and Lloyd looked at the manager. Then at each other. Then at the workman. Then they both hastily let him go. Lloyd felt blood rushing to his face already.

Thiiiiiiiis was one of the inevitable less-fun parts of hanging out with Kai.

* * *

Two thoroughly mortified ninja were walking down the alleyway a bit later that afternoon. Neither of them said anything for a while.

"'I'm _positive_ it's the right guy!'" snarked Lloyd at length. "'I'd know him anywhere!'"

"Geez, gimme a break already," Kai snapped. "He looked _identical,_ okay?"

"Sure thing!" Lloyd threw out his hands as he walked, raising his eyes heavenwards. "A perfectly respectable guy, who's been employed at the place for five years, bringing _in_ the usual Wednesday electronics delivery! Definitely looks just like that shady character back there!"

"Don't pretend you weren't suspicious too!" said Kai, his face red. "I mean, the guy was taking all the alleyways! And who knew they shipped cell phones all tossed together in one box? I always thought each company shipped their own model only. It sure _looked_ fishy."

Lloyd grumbled.

"Whatever. This is just great. Just wait till the police hear about this."

Kai slumped. The ninja had a pretty good relationship with the city's police force, but there were always a few doom-and-gloomers foretelling the brutality and abuse of power that would arise from partnering with ninja who didn't need search warrants. This little fiasco was not going to go over well.

"Maybe the guy won't report this? . . . " said Kai without much hope. "You know, people always drag their heels."

"Yeah, sure." Lloyd let out a breath through his nose, trying his hardest to dial down the vitriol in his voice. He didn't want a full-out fight. "I'd totally procrastinate about reporting an unprovoked assault by the city's supposed protectors."

"It wasn't an _assault_." Kai was also visibly trying to take the edge off his tone. "We can tell them it was just a . . . a precautionary interrogation that got a little out of hand."

"Yeah, yeah." Lloyd shrugged. "Same thing, fancier packaging. We might as well go and tell them . . . " He stopped dead, his gaze going distant. Kai kept walking, not noticing; Lloyd stood rooted for a moment. Then he lunged to catch up, grabbing his teammate's shoulder.

"KAI!"

" _What?!_ " Kai whirled around, startled.

"Those cell phones! All different brands in one box!" Lloyd all but shook him. "They're the stolen cell phones in new packaging!"

Kai's eyes lit up. They turned around and tore back to the electronics store, arriving just in time to see the employee scurrying off down an alleyway. He looked over his shoulder, saw them, and took off like a shot.

"After 'im!" cried Kai.

Their quarry was fast. He kept a healthy distance between himself and his pursuers all the way out to the edge of New Ninjago City, again heading for the industrial district. He darted into a trainyard and dove between two lines of boxcars. Kai and Lloyd pounded after him, Lloyd nearly wiping out as they skidded around the end of the train.

But their suspect was nowhere to be found. Kai swung a hand breathlessly and they split up.

Lloyd loped along one of the trains, on the alert. Then he saw it: one of the boxcars had its door slightly open. Darting over, he grasped the edge and hauled, trying to pull the heavy door aside.

Then it slammed open, and two figures sprang out, roaring. One was a Serpentine, who dove at Lloyd's shoulder and tackled him to the ground. The other was the man from the electronics store.

"Hey Kai!" Lloyd hollered, driving his knee into the snake's midsection. "Jackpot!"

The snake fell off him, winded; Lloyd rolled to his feet and faced the human. The man snarled and reached for a pouch fastened to his belt.

"Not this time!" snapped Lloyd, unsheathing his katana. Seeing that things were getting serious, his opponent yanked the snake to his feet, and they both ran for it.

Kai joined Lloyd in chasing the two Technicians. Their targets dashed towards a ledge at the edge of the yard, glanced back at the two ninja, then jumped right over. Without so much as looking where they were going, the ninja skidded after them.

There turned out to be a large coal bunker down there; both the Technicians and the ninja wound up tumbling and sliding down the sloping mountain of coal. Lloyd concentrated on keeping his katana away from his body so he wouldn't impale himself.

As soon as they reached the bottom, coughing and spitting coal dust, everyone scrabbled to their feet. Kai dove for the Hypnobrai, while Lloyd bore down on the human again. The man cursed, fumbling in his pockets. Clearly he was not well-armed.

"Hands in the air," said Lloyd tersely, backing him up against a wall. He couldn't strictly fight an unarmed guy, but he could definitely hold him good and steady. He placed the tip of his katana only a hair's breadth from the man's throat, looking him in the eye. "Now. How about some answ—"

A sharp cry rang out, simultaneous with a none-too-healthy-sounding thud. Lloyd started, but kept his opponent at bay, sliding his eyes only for a moment to check on Kai. The fire ninja had fallen to his hands in the coal, and the Serpentine stood over him with a large wooden block, preparing for another blow.

"HEY!" barked Lloyd, swinging around and charging for the snake. The human made a break for it as soon as Lloyd's blade left his throat, and the Hypnobrai took off like a shot in the other direction.

Lloyd let him go. Eyes wide, he dropped down next to Kai and put a steadying hand on the red ninja's arm as he slowly pushed himself upright, clutching the back of his head.

"I'm fine!" he gritted, waving his other hand vehemently at Lloyd. " _Get them!_ "

Lloyd bit his lip, but nodded and stood up.

No matter how much he searched the trainyard, however, he couldn't find a trace of the two Technicians. They seemed to have stark vanished.

He returned to the coal bunker, where Kai was still sitting and rubbing the back of his head. He gave Lloyd a baleful look as the green ninja plopped down next to him.

"Nice going. We could've taken them in for questioning and everything!"

"Well, excuse me for stopping to check on you," said Lloyd, a bit miffed.

Kai sighed and waved his hands in apology. For a while they sat in glum silence.

"Well hey. At least it wasn't a total loss," said Lloyd eventually. "Now we know those guys really were up to something shady! I guess being a long-time employee doesn't stop a guy from becoming a Technician. Makes sense, even—I guess they'd want members with established connections to the technology business."

"Yeah . . . " Kai suddenly broke into a smirk. "Ha. I _told_ you I recognized that guy."

"Yeah, and we still got ourselves into a heck of an embarrassing situation," retorted Lloyd.

"Well yeah, but was I _wrong?_ "

Lloyd rolled his eyes, trying not to smile.

"Wellllll, was I?" Kai elbowed him, grinning.

"Fine, fine, you weren't wrong," groaned Lloyd, pushing himself to his feet. "You were right all along, I'm sorry I ever doubted you, all the rest of that stuff. Happy?"

"It'll do." Kai lay back against the coalheap, his hands tucked smugly behind his head. Lloyd chuckled, but Kai's coal-streaked clothes reminded him that he wasn't looking much better himself.

"Uh . . . " He looked down at his gi. "Do you think we could set it up so my mom doesn't know about these stunts? . . . "

"Forget that." Kai pulled a wry face. "Let's set it up so Sensei doesn't know either."


	18. Get Dunked On

**Y'know what, fellas? I have been told that when publishing a first book, 100,000 words is the advisable upper limit. I accidentally put all my pre-written material for this story through a word count, and I'm well over 100,000 already. With less than half the plot actually written. Heck, I'm halfway to 100,000 with posted material alone, and nothing of import has even _happened_ yet. Heh . . . Good thing I'm not looking to get this published . . . X_X**

 **Whether you guys want to stick around for more than 300,000 words, though, or whatever the heck this is going to end up being** — **that's up to you. Not bored to death just yet, I hope? ^_^''**

 **JayaForever421: Thanks! Heh, to each their own, I guess. I find it okay, but I never really got into the chemistry much.**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Well, at least at the current moment, yeah . . . You never know how these things will go. ;)**

* * *

 **Sept 8**

 **3:37 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Jay figured he'd better get the patrol negotations over with as soon as possible, preferably before Lloyd or Kai got home and created extra variables. He found Cole in the bunkroom, trying to whittle a stick. Feigning disinterest, Jay clambered into his bunk and flopped down with a book for a while.

"Say," he said at last, very off-hand. "What do you say we switch patrols tomorrow?"

"Switch?" Cole looked up. "Why?"

Hmph. Well, not like Jay hadn't expected that one.

"Eh, I dunno. I don't really mind the city one, the country gets kinda boring."

Which was true. Sorta.

Cole wasn't having any of it, though. He squinted up at Jay for a moment, clearly trying to figure out what in the country Jay might be avoiding or what in the city he might be after. Then he smirked.

"Ohhhhhh. Got something at Borg Industries, huh?"

"Yeah, kinda." Jay shrugged with practiced casualness. "They were having a science event, I was hoping to go."

"Hmm . . . Not that I'd mind the shorter patrol, but what about the Technicians?" said Cole. "The city needs a more thorough patrol than ever these days."

"I'd be thorough," assured Jay. "I'd stay over extra and everything."

"Well, sure then. Can't say no to that." Cole chuckled, putting aside his carving. "Have fun; say hi to Mindy for me if you see her."

"Uh—s-sure thing."

Cole looked up at the tiny skip in Jay's voice.

Uh-oh.

"Waaaaaaaaaait." The earth ninja smiled suspiciously. "I remember you were awfully interested in Mindy the other day . . . This 'event' wouldn't happen to be _with_ her, would it?"

Jay said nothing, but he knew his face must be giving him away. Shoot. So much for getting through this without any teasing.

"What?! Oh, wow." Cole sat down on Zane's bunk, laughing. "You and her? _Wow._ Oh no." He covered his eyes. "Jay and Mindy! FSM forbid the two of you have kids. The world isn't ready for that level of annoying."

"Shut up!" Jay smiled in spite of himself. "It's not like _that_."

"Suuurrrre it's not."

"I'm serious! We happen to have a cordial business relationship," said Jay loftily.

"Ohhhhkay, if you say so." Cole shook his head, chuckling, and began to rummage around in the closet. Jay flopped back and rolled over, knowing this was only the eye of the storm. Sure 'nuff:

"So when's the wedding?" asked Cole, hiding a grin.

"Geeeeeez. Whenever it is, I'm probably not gonna be in it. She's already got a boyfriend."

Cole whirled around as if Jay had just pulled out a revolver and fired into the ceiling.

"She's _taken?!_ "

"Ah, come on. I know you're not crazy about her, but it's not _that_ hard to believe a guy would like her, is it? I mean, have you _seen_ her? She's—" Jay broke off, blinking oddly at the look Cole was giving him. "Uh . . . what?"

"She's TAKEN." Cole flailed his hands, looking appalled. "As in, not free. As in, already in a relationship. And _you_ are _trying to score!_ "

Jay felt his insides drop out.

Oh.

Heck no.

He saw where this was going.

Oh shoot.

" _Well!_ " Cole folded his arms.

"Uhhh—" stammered Jay. "Uh, it's—we're—"

"Get out. Look who's _stealing somebody's girlfriend._ "

"I'm not stealing her!" Jay sputtered. "We're not dating! We're not going out! She doesn't even know I like her! We're just _friends!_ "

"Sounds familiar," said Cole bitterly.

"Shut up! This is nothing like—"

"Yeah, yeah, said every hypocrite _ever_."

"Shut up!"

"So what happens when _he_ finds out, hmm?"

"SHUT UP!"

Jay hurled himself off the bunk at Cole—which, considering that he was on the top level, resulted in a pretty forceful crack of skull against floor. Cole hissed in pain and levered himself sideways, trying to pin Jay underneath him; they wound up tumbling across the room and smacking into the opposite wall.

"What're _you_ so ticked about?" gritted Cole. "If anyone's got a right to be mad it's me!"

"Oh, I'll give you something to be mad about!"

The scuffle was broken up, however, by a shower of cold water crashing down over the two ninja's heads. Jay had just pulled back, so Cole got the worst of it. A significant amount of water went up his nose; he threw Jay off and rolled over to snort his sinuses clear, coughing. Meanwhile Jay sat up and looked blankly at Zane, who was standing there with an empty bucket, trying to look threatening. It produced an effect rather like a kitten attempting to menace a German Shepherd.

"I will not let you start that again," he said resolutely.

"Dude, this is—"

"No!" Zane made a motion as if intending to hit Jay with the bucket, but lost his nerve halfway through. The poor Nindroid really wasn't cut out for confrontation.

Cole, who had since recovered his breath, blinked silently between Jay and Zane a couple of times. Then he smacked his forehead, flopped back on his hands, and started to laugh tiredly.

"Oh . . . Shut up," muttered Jay. Zane shook the pail warningly.

"This is great," said Cole, flopping back the rest of the way. "Unbelievable. Oh man. Great job. I will _never_ let you hear the end of this, Jay. Never, ever, ever."

Jay gritted his teeth, but didn't feel like crossing Zane and his bucket. At last, doing his best to ignore his sputtering older brother, he got up and stalked out.

"You've still got the city patrol!" he heard Cole shouting as he slammed the door.

In the kitchen he toweled off his hair as best he could with a dishcloth, then sat brooding over a can of soda and ignoring Mopp, who was throwing unwashed breakfast spoons onto the floor. Eventually though, he looked up and saw Mopp was attempting to hurl a glass as well, and thought maybe he'd better address this.

"No," he said, taking the glass away. "No throwing."

" _Oooowa._ " Mopp looked up at him plaintively. Jay softened, sighing.

"Kind've an attention hog, arencha?" he murmured.

" _Eeeeeeeee!_ "

Jay leaned on his elbows and held out a spoon for Mopp to play tug-of-war with, his eyes distant. Meep swished in from the next room and pushed himself under Jay's hand, asking to be petted. Jay obliged absent-mindedly.

"You don't think I'm a hypocrite, do you?" he asked.

" _Choop!_ " Meep blinked up at him.

"Ugh . . . " Jay let his forehead rest on the faucet. Honestly, he might have lost his temper to cover up his guilt, but he knew Cole had more than a point. He wasn't _trying_ to steal Mindy, but he was definitely getting way more friendly with her than Cole had ever gotten with Nya. And probably more friendly than was technically appropriate for someone already in a relationship.

Well, there went that dream. He had to be stricter with himself from now on. No more lurking around her office, no more unnecessary phone calls, no more compliments and lively conversations. Business relationship _only_. This was gonna hurt.

" _Eeeeeeee?_ " A wet tentacle slapped the side of his head. He snapped upright to find Mopp gazing at him soberly with his wide cuttlefish eyes.

" _Eeee,_ " crooned the alien, reaching up to pat Jay's chin. Jay found himself smiling, just a little. Gathering up the spoons from the floor, he began to wash the breakfast dishes.

" _Cheep cheep! O-ka-ree!_ " sang Mopp.

"Easy for you to say," said Jay heavily. "You're not the one who has to go to that formal tomorrow. Just think, I'm gonna have to just hang around watching Mindy and avoiding her like some kind of loser."

" _Woff._ "

"No kidding. And I'm stuck with the longer patrol too. If Zane wasn't so worked-up about all this, I'd go over and sock Cole in the nose."

"Thank you for restraining yourself."

Jay turned around to find Zane in the doorway. Shrugging, Jay gave a perfunctory nod and turned back to the dishes. Zane stepped up to the counter, and for a moment neither said anything.

"I apologize for the bucket," said Zane at last. "I . . . suppose it was out of line."

"Eh, forget about it."

"I just . . . I couldn't think what else to do," said Zane, sensing that Jay was still out of sorts. "All I could think was that I wanted to stop you." He traced the edge of the counter, eyes downcast. "When . . . When I faced the Digital Overlord, the two of you were still enemies. I may not remember everything from before that, but I remember how hard it was for the rest of us, watching you fight. It was . . . difficult, facing him, knowing the team was falling apart and I would not be there to try to help you."

Jay stared at him, a soapy plate dripping in his hands. _That_ had escalated quickly!

"Then when I came back," continued Zane, "you seemed to be friends again. I didn't know what had happened, but I was glad it did. So today, when I thought it might be starting again, I simply . . . " He shrugged.

Jay drew in his breath, put down the plate, and leaned over to give Zane's shoulders a quick one-armed hug.

"Seriously? It bothered you that much?"

Zane shrugged again, looking as confused as hugs usually left him.

"Geez." Jay went back to the dishes. "Well, don't worry about today, pal. We weren't starting anything. It was just a stupid argument, nothing big."

"That is what Cole said. He seemed to find it amusing . . . "

"Oh, did he," said Jay.

"But that is why I wanted to apologize. I guess I overreacted."

"Nahhh." Jay smiled ruefully. "It's fine. You really need to get a little more attitude into ya anyway."

Zane raised an eyebrow, but smiled back.

"Should we try another drawing exercise?" he asked as Jay finished up the dishes.

"Mm, nah." Jay scooped up Mopp, shook him off lightly, and slipped him into his hoodie. "Let's work on your video game skills."

* * *

Jay picked a player-on-player fighting game so Zane wouldn't have to worry about pitiless AI enemies.

"Okay, so that button controls the—" Jay raised his eyebrows as Zane began to maneuver. "Oh, so you already know?"

"I've been practicing a little," said Zane. "But I have not made much progress."

"That's 'cos you didn't have me teaching ya!" said Jay, sitting back. "Okay, I'll go easy on you. Take it slow for now."

"Can I ask you something? . . . " said Zane as they selected characters.

"Hm? Sure." Jay pushed one of Mopp's tentacles out of his face, his eyes on the glowing screen. "I'm an open book; ask me anything."

"How do hugs _work?_ "

" . . . Anything but that." Jay considered, then snorted ruefully as he realized there were actually plenty of questions he'd rather not find himself answering. "Okay, so maybe I'm not a totally open book. Let's say some of the pages got gummed together."

Zane looked at him blankly.

"Nevermind." Jay chuckled. "Ask Lloyd. He's better at talking about the squishy stuff anyway, and as next-older-up it's his job now."

"Squishy? . . . "

"It's an expression."

A few brawls later (Zane was admittedly still pretty inept), Cole trotted into the room. Jay didn't look up, but when the current round was over he selected three-player mode. Cole picked up a controller and joined.

Technically they were both supposed to be coaching Zane, but it was only a matter of minutes before they had started beating each other up instead. On-screen, that is. Zane's avatar scurried about and ventured to chuck an attack or two at his opponents (when he managed to face in the correct direction), while Jay and Cole's avatars threw each other all over the stage and kicked each other off platforms.

"Ha! Die!" blurted Cole triumphantly, knocking Jay's life counter down a notch. Jay's teeth dug into his lower lip, but he didn't look Cole's way, much less say a word. Mopp screeched excitedly and kept hitting him in the head, making it difficult to concentrate.

The brawl intensified. Meanwhile Zane was still circling around looking like the third wheel, trying to jump up the platforms and occasionally even succeeding. The noise and motion of the others' fight, plus the music, the swirling arena background, and Mopp's hysterics were making him even less competent than usual.

The game was set to occasionally float power-ups through the stage, but Cole and Jay were much too busy beating the tar out of each other to pay much attention to them. Suddenly, though, Cole froze.

"There! OH NO!"

It was one of the most powerful bonuses in the game, the kind that meant your rivals were pretty much screwed, and it was floating right around the head of Zane's avatar. The other two ninja yelped in dismay—and Zane, still looking lost, blundered straight into it.

"Oh, _come on!_ " Cole and Jay burst out laughing as Zane's character suddenly acquired a massive tank. They both sat back, accepting premature defeat.

"Go for it, Zane!" urged Jay. "It's temporary! Go go go!"

Zane, bewildered and elated, began to drive around frantically, firing in completely irrelevant directions. The others shouted advice and protests, only increasing his hyperactivity; the next thing anyone knew, he'd driven himself straight over the edge of the stage and died.

"Zaaaaaaaaaaane!" Jay covered his eyes and flopped back. "Come ON!"

Zane shrugged, smiling lopsidedly at his laughing friends. He didn't seem to mind.

"Okay, now we _really_ need to get to work on you," chuckled Cole, setting up another game. "Because honestly Zane, you really _do_ suck."

"Can't PIXAL help you out or something?" asked Jay, propped up on his elbows.

"She shouts advice in my ear," said Zane.

* * *

Two games later, there was a sudden sharp rapping at the window. Zane's head perked up; he'd been the only one to notice it. The rapping came again, and Zane got up.

"Somebody's outside!"

The others paused the game. Zane opened the window and looked out, then drew back hastily. Suddenly Kai tumbled into the room. Lloyd scrambled after him, almost falling headfirst; he righted himself and shook his head hard, nearly disappearing in a cloud of coal dust.

"What the—?!" Everyone looked with disbelief at the two smudgy ninja. "What happened to you?!"

"Shhhhhhh! Keep it down!" hissed Kai. "We'll tell you, but only if you keep anyone over twenty-one from seeing us before we get cleaned up."

"What?!"

"Thanks," said Kai, not waiting for a full agreement. He pulled out a box and handed it to Cole.

"A smartphone?" The earth ninja stared. "Guys, what the heck—"

Suddenly there was a soft tap from the hallway.

"Coast is clear!" said Kai. He gave Lloyd a small push towards the door. "You first. I am not explaining this to your mom."

He and Lloyd disappeared, leaving only a smartphone and a trail of dusty footprints. Zane looked around, bemused. For once, the others looked just as confused as he did.

* * *

 **A/N: One thing in this chapter is based on personal experience. And I'm hesitant to admit which. :P**

 **You dirty girlfriend-stealer, tho, Jay. You'll get what's coming to you. Harrumph.**

 **In other news, moar fluff upcoming! Despite my already stupid ginormous word counts, I've layered in a big glob of unnecessary fluffy stuff that wasn't previously there. I felt a little guilty about it, but by now I've decided it's not actually too tragic** — **it gives me a chance to flesh out some subplots that I'd thought would be poorly defined. Or at very least nudge along some of those running jokes.**

 **Plus I just found that this kind of plot-light cutesy stuff actually has a name** — **the sentimental novel! So there you go, it's a recognized genre. There's my excuse, folks. :P**


	19. We can haz kittehz?

**Hiya folks! I hope you had a happy Easter!**

 **Speaking of, in Poland the Monday after Easter (aka today) is called _Smigus-dyngus_ , and it's a day where everyone runs around trying to soak everyone else. You fellas want to join me in introducing Cole to this tradition? He seems to be hiding under the bed, and I don't think he's wet enough yet. *pokes under bed with broomstick* Come out here and take it like a man, pal. You can thank me when Season 5 rolls around.**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Haha, no, it's not like that** — **Cole knows perfectly well that Jay is just friends with Mindy. He's just ticked off because _he_ was just friends with Nya before the Perfect Match fiasco started. Jay basically turned around and did the exact same thing that he blew up at Cole for doing. Not only that, Jay would very much _like_ to be more than friends with Mindy, while Cole had no such designs on Nya at first, so Jay's been doing even worse. And believe you me, Cole's gonna let him hear about it. ;P **

**BriarDIEZ: Yep, you got it! XP Care to join me?**

* * *

 **Sept 8**

 **5:25 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai (completed)**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Soon (but not soon enough for the curious occupants of the _Bounty_ ), Kai and Lloyd were reasonably clean and in their casual outfits. Nya, who had met them outside the ship and had been the one notifying them when the hallway was clear of adults, settled down on the living room floor with the others and waited expectantly.

"So," said Kai, scruffing up his still-damp hair. "There was this one guy . . . "

The explanations took a while, but it would have gone significantly faster if the others didn't keep interrupting.

"Wait," said Jay, snorting. "You jumped the wrong guy?"

"He turned out to be the _right_ guy," said Kai. "But in the end we lost both him and his partner."

Lloyd smiled faintly. "We." Kai could be all kinds of annoying, but when it came right down to it, he took equal blame for everything that went wrong, even when he didn't have to.

"Eh, it was my fault. But we're thinking the Technicians might have an entrance to their tunnels somewhere around the trainyards," he said. "That's the only way they could have disappeared so fast."

"Well, I guess that's sort've a lead," said Cole, sighing. "But overall, that was kinda pointless, wasn't it? You tailed a guy, got in trouble with a store manager, chased the guy, and lost him."

"That wasn't all, though!" said Kai smugly. They'd been saving the best for last. "We may have a lead on what the Technicians are doing with those electronics they steal."

"Reselling them!" blurted Lloyd. "We found all different makes and models of smartphones packaged in the same box back in that electronics store. Think about it! The Technicians could be stealing everyone's phones, storing them in 'friendly' businesses and warehouses, repackaging them in new boxes, and selling them to electronics stores like they're brand-new!"

Silence as the others digested this notion. Mopp, still snuggled in Jay's hoodie, looked around the room curiously, wondering what had triggered the strange pause.

"They could be doing that," said Cole slowly. "But _why?_ I mean, you could probably make a ton of money that way—you steal the smartphone for free, then you sell it for a good few hundred—but that is a _heck_ of an inefficient way to do it! Who thought it was a good idea to form a huge ring to go around snitching electronics one by one?"

"I don't know," admitted Lloyd. "But hey, what if they're doing something to the phones before they resell them?"

"Doing something?"

"You can do fancy programming stuff on phones, right?" said Lloyd. "What if they're programming these smartphones with spyware? Or viruses? Or . . . or password-stealing thingies? There could be hundreds of evil smartphones out on the market right now! Maybe they're funneling money out of people's bank accounts, or stealing their identities!"

"Woahhhhh," said Jay.

"You know, that's a really plausible theory," said Nya, impressed.

"That's also where this comes in," said Kai, pointing at the smartphone he'd handed to Cole. "We wanted to test one of these phones for ourselves, so we went back to that electronics store and bought one from the new shipment."

"Wait, you went _back_ there?" Cole grinned. "And after that whole incident, the manager let you in?"

Lloyd and Kai exchanged a sheepish glance.

"He, uh . . . " Kai rubbed the back of his neck. "Didn't recognize us."

That got a laugh.

"He still wasn't too happy about letting us in, though," chuckled Lloyd. "We were getting coal dust all over the carpet, and I guess we didn't look like people who could afford a smartphone."

"And we _couldn't_ ," said Kai. "We spent all our pocket money and used credit for the rest, and if we have to pay it off, it's going to clean out the _Bounty's_ entire budget for two months."

"Yikes," said Nya, grimacing. "Uhhh, let's try to test this thing _without_ wrecking it, shall we? The store had a return policy, right?"

"Yep. We made sure to ask."

"Okay then," said Jay, already prying the smartphone's box open. "Damage-free testing. Got it. This is going to be awesome! I've always wanted a smartphone." He pulled the sleek device out of its styrofoam nest and sighed wistfully. "Man. Too bad we couldn't afford to switch out our crummy old communicators for a couple've these . . . "

"Before you go trashing our 'crummy old communicators'," retorted Cole, "find me a smartphone that could handle intense heat and cold, take barrages of dirt and electricity, be waterproof, keep working after violent impacts, have a battery life of three months, and not blow up when Kai touches it."

The sad part was, he wasn't even joking on that last one. Higher technology tended to do stupid things around Kai.

"That reminds me, you're not touching this thing," said Jay, holding the smartphone unnecessarily far away from the fire ninja. Kai rolled his eyes.

"Just kick the thing already, would you?"

" _Boot_ ," corrected Nya, scooting closer eagerly as Jay pressed the power button. He offered her a smile and held out the phone so she could see too. Mopp gurgled and reached over his shoulder, trying to get in on the action.

"Okay," Jay said. "It's started a 'set up your device' routine. You know, the kind where you choose your timezone and password and stuff."

"Ohh. So then, it _is_ brand-new?" Lloyd's face fell.

"Not necessarily," said Nya. "It's really easy to return a phone to factory settings—that'd make it _look_ brand-new. But it still could have belonged to someone before."

"Is there some way you could tell if it had been reset like that?" asked Cole. Nya squinted at the phone appraisingly.

"Hmmmm . . . "

About half an hour later, Nya had the poor smartphone hooked up to more wires than you'd think would be possible for such a small device. She swore none of them would do permanent damage; they were only a temporary patch-through to the _Bounty's_ central computer. With the superior processing power and some fancy programs, she was able to lay out the smartphone's entire programming and examine its database. Jay watched with respect as she typed furiously away, lines and lines of green code scrolling up the control room's large display screen. Most of the others just looked impressed but bewildered.

"Aha!" whooped Nya all of a sudden, slamming her hands down on either side of the keyboard. She punched a few more commands in eagerly, then looked up with an enormous grin.

"I've found it! There are traces of manipulation in the history—this phone has definitely been used before!"

"Yes! We have a lead!" cheered Jay, as Kai and Lloyd high-fived triumphantly.

"So then, that's what this is all about?" Cole wrinkled his forehead. "They're snitching electronics and reselling them? Why not just steal brand-new electronics by the crateload? Then they wouldn't have to go to all the trouble of resetting them."

"Hmmm . . . " Nya frowned up at the mass of code on the screen. "Maybe the reset is actually important. Like Lloyd said, they could be inserting malicious programming into these phones before reselling them. If they're doing that anyway, returning to factory settings would be hardly any extra trouble. It might even help the new code get embedded."

"So, if there was . . . evil stuff in the phone," said Kai, waving abstractly at the gutted device, "would you be able to find _that_ too?"

"Um . . . " Nya looked from the phone to the code again. "It would take some time. But yeah."

"You sure you want to take that on?" said Cole. "I mean, you've already got repairing the ship and security system to worry about, plus those Tinkertoys—" he ducked the coding dictionary Jay chucked at his head "—and then there's the extra training we're doing. You sure you can handle it?"

"I've got it, I've got it," said Nya, waving him off. "Let me get a start on this thing while I still have it laid out in my head."

"Good luck then," said Cole. "As for the rest of us, speaking of training . . . "

Groans all around.

"We've already done our daily allowance!" protested Jay.

"And we actually _fought_ two of those guys, isn't that even better?" added Kai.

Cole sighed, looking like he was trying to figure out his options. Just then Sensei Wu appeared in the doorway.

"Ah, Kai, Lloyd, I see you have returned," he said. "Rest up from your patrols, then all of you please report to the training room. You must prepare for the Technician threat."

"Awh, but Sensei—"

"Preparedness is everything," said Wu sternly, and strode off.

"Ha," said Cole under his breath. The others heaved long-suffering sighs.

"Sensei's pet," muttered Kai.

* * *

Lloyd grabbed a quick post-patrol sandwich. He found Cole in the mess hall, scribbling something on a long slip of paper. Probably training strategies.

"Where is everybody?" asked Lloyd. Cole shrugged.

"Not sure. Nya might be working on the smartphone, but I think she and Jay just went to work on the Tinkertoys again."

From somewhere on the ship came a muffled shout of "BLASPHEMY!", and something thudded against the wall. Cole raised an eyebrow, impressed.

"Anyway, Zane's hanging around with them for whatever reason, Sensei's meditating, your mom's with the aliens, and I _think_ Kai's calling Skylor. Not like he'd let on."

Lloyd chuckled. It was a well-known fact that everyone on the _Bounty_ loved teasing Kai about Skylor, and nobody knew why. Maybe it was just fun watching the normally cool and cocky Master of Fire going all to mush. Or maybe it was the sheer beauty of being able to mess with him without significant danger of retaliation, since he didn't dare get too rough with Skylor watching. At any rate, Kai usually did his best not to let anyone know when he was going to video-call the Master of Amber, to prevent concerted efforts from the others to embarrass, annoy, and-or undermine him.

"I oughta find Zane . . . " Lloyd murmured, tucking into his sandwich a little quicker.

"Aw, come on." Cole grinned. "Whatever you're planning, don't tell me you're dragging that poor bucket of bolts with you."

"Hey, I'm the BLT now," said Lloyd with his mouth full. "That's one-third older brother, so I'm obligated to be a bad influence now and then."

"Poor Zane," said Cole woefully.

"Eh, he needs bad influence."

It was only a few moments after Lloyd had left that Cole suddenly looked up again, bewildered.

"BLT? . . . "

Meanwhile in the workroom, Jay and Nya were studiously fastening spaceship compenents together, while Zane worked on a sketch nearby. He didn't mind Nya seeing, since she already knew about the whole drawing thing.

"You know, you really should show some of your pictures to the others," said Jay, glancing over at Zane's methodical parallel strokes. "They'd be super-impressed."

"I don't know . . . " Zane murmured, his eyes on his drawing. "Maybe not yet."

Jay opened his mouth to argue, but suddenly Lloyd popped in and took Zane by the elbow.

"Sorry guys, I need him," he said, and disappeared with the Nindroid in tow. Jay and Nya looked at each other and shrugged.

"Poor Zane," sighed Nya, looking at the half-finished picture. "He's still so nervous about the whole Titanium thing."

"Don't see why," said Jay. "It's pretty awesome."

"Still." Nya shook her head. "It seems like he has trouble with PIXAL sometimes. It must be difficult, having to share one brain. Sometimes he seems distracted, and I think I even heard them arguing once. And think about not having an imagination anymore! It must be terrifying."

"Ah, he has an imagination," said Jay confidently. "He just needs to tap into it again. He can already do stuff like draw Lloyd in a hat or me in glasses, and that's halfway there."

Nya gave a snort.

"You in glasses? Really?"

"I look awesome in glasses," said Jay smugly. "No, I'm serious. Lookit this." He deftly worked a few NanoKlix into an oversized pair of glasses and put them on. "See? I look super-educated, huh?"

"You _look_ like a giant robotic spider is attacking your face. Here, gimme that." Nya took the glasses without waiting for permission and reworked them deftly into a ring, which she placed atop Jay's head. "There. I now crown thee, King of the Alien Realms!"

"Oooh." Jay lifted his head proudly, causing his crown to fall off. He feigned dismay, then smirked when Nya sputtered with laughter.

"Here," he said, fetching the crown from the floor. "Interplanetary custom clearly states that the ruler of the alien hordes must fit the crown. Therefore, it must be you who are Queen of the Alien Realms!" He crowned her solemnly.

Nya struggled to get a hold of herself.

"Very well, vassal," she intoned, and grabbed the crown before it could slide off her head in turn. "My first command as queen is that we get back to work!"

"At once, milady." Jay bowed.

"No, I'm serious." Nya sobered up. "This ship needs to be built on deadline, I have the _real_ ship to fix, the smartphone code needs reading, and it's my turn to make dinner tonight."

"Wow." Jay grimaced. "Queens have it rough."

Nya flicked a three-stud L-connector in his direction.

"Hush, you."

* * *

"Hotshot," said Skylor. "Don't look now."

Kai grimaced, knowing that some kind of nonsense was doubtless playing out behind him. He tapped the control panel idly, waiting for the appropriate amount of time to pass before turning around.

"What is it this time?" he asked.

"Looks like a demonstration," said Skylor.

"Ahh." Kai nodded and turned around. Lloyd and Zane were indeed circling around the back of the control room, waving picket signs reading "Stop the Cat-astrophe!" and "Think of the Kittens!"

"Very funny, you guys," said Kai. He pointed at the door. "Out."

Zane looked to Lloyd, who shook his head firmly, grinning.

"Okay, fine." Kai turned back to the camera. "Just ignore them, Sky."

"We won't be ignored!" interrupted Lloyd, marching up next to him and brandishing his sign. "Freedom of speech! She's gotta know the truth!"

"The truth about what?" asked Skylor amusedly, as Kai dragged a hand down his face and began to chivvy Lloyd towards the door.

"Cats, of course! He _shaves cats._ Just, all the time!" Lloyd grabbed at the control panel, trying to dig in his heels. "Think about your future, Skylor! Do you want to be married to a cat-shaver?"

"It depends." Skylor struggled not to laugh. "Why does he shave them?"

"I don't," said Kai through his teeth.

"Don't listen to him! He'll give you a kitten! An adorable—" The rest of Lloyd's sentence was lost as Kai finally succeeded in tackling him to the floor. They fell out of the camera field, but Skylor judged from Zane's expression and the occasional yelps of "ow, hey!" that there was quite a scuffle going on.

Finally Kai resurfaced, victorious, having fixed Lloyd in a chokehold. Minus the actual choking part, of course.

"Sorry, Sky," he said breathlessly. "I swear, no cats have been shaved aboard this ship. Sorry you have to put up with these maniacs."

"It's fine." Skylor chuckled. "Teach him a lesson for me."

"Gah, no!" Lloyd squirmed furiously, still pinned back by Kai's arm. "Zane, it's up to you now! Run for help!"

"But I thought you said this was a mission and we had to stick together . . . " The Nindroid looked puzzled. He was aware that Lloyd must know at least three techniques that could get him free right now.

"Don't worry about me! Save yourself!" insisted Lloyd.

Zane looked confusedly up to Skylor—who was giggling too hard to offer any advice—then shrugged and decided to play the part of the loyal accomplice.

"I will not leave you."

"Then you can watch him suffer," said Kai sinisterly, and began to noogie Lloyd without mercy. "Okay, funny guy. Tell Skylor the truth about those cats, and maybe I'll let you go."

"Never!" Lloyd struggled valiently. "Not the hair, geez! That's just underhanded!"

"There's not really much else to aim for." Kai clicked his tongue disbelievingly. "Man. Are you sure you don't lose things in here? I feel like some hairbrushes have gone missing lately . . . "

At this point Zane saw an opening and suddenly dove at Kai, whacking him courageously over the head with his picket sign. The sign tore through the middle, coming to a halt halfway down Kai's forehead like a bizarre headband. Kai stood still for a moment.

"Oh dear," said Zane. Lloyd clenched his teeth, struggling not to laugh, as Kai very deliberately pushed the sign off.

"One minute, please," he said measuredly to Skylor. Then the fiasco resumed in earnest.

"You clowns . . . " Skylor shook her head good-naturedly and grabbed some paperwork to complete while she waited. By now she was quite used to her phone calls with Kai being interrupted by shenanigans—honestly she kind of enjoyed them. It distracted her from the lawsuits that had been swamping Chen's House of Noodles ever since she turned the place around.

* * *

Jay and Nya were still clipping NanoKlix together studiously, wondering how long they could keep getting away with it. Suddenly there was some crashing in the distance, and Lloyd came careening down the hall, dragging Zane by the arm.

"Come on come on come on!" he yelped, and the two of them disappeared into the bunkroom.

"Uh-oh," said Nya.

A few moments later Kai came chugging down the hallway after them. He stopped at Nya's door.

"Which way'd they go?" he demanded. Nya and Jay looked at each other, then pointed in opposite directions.

"Oh, thanks a lot!" grumbled Kai, and steamrollered off again. Swooping into the bunkroom, he found Cole folding some of his shirts.

"Where are they?" he demanded again. Cole considered his options.

"Hey Lloyd," he called over his shoulder. "Is it okay if I tell Kai you're hiding in the closet?"

There was a yelp, and the closet flew open, spilling Lloyd and Zane and an assortment of clothing out onto the floor.

"Traitor!"

"Well, I didn't _tell_ him." Cole laughed resignedly as Kai sprang at his two targets. A brief scuffle, a few cries of "ow!", then Lloyd and Zane somehow got disentangled and shot off down the hall, laughing breathlessly. Kai was so caught up in pursuing them that he nearly bowled Wu right over when the sensei stepped out into the hallway. At the last minute the fire ninja realized he was on a crash-course and braked furiously, skidding so hard he fell back onto his elbows.

"S-sorry, Sensei!" he panted, grinning sheepishly up at his teacher. Lloyd and Zane swarmed about at the end of the hall, anxious that Kai was about to get in trouble.

"You seem to have regained your energy," said the Sensei, smiling faintly. "Perhaps it would be wise to begin training now?"

There was a chorus of muffled "awwww!"s, but it was soon followed by some subdued "Yes Sensei"s.

"And Kai?" said Wu.

"Uhh—y-yeah?"

"Skylor is still waiting on the line."

"Oh!" Kai scrambled to his feet. "Thanks, Sensei."

Lloyd and Zane headed resignedly to the training room, still catching their breaths.

"I still do not quite understand the purpose of that," said Zane.

"It's part of the contract," said Lloyd. "All younger brothers are obligated to annoy older brothers as much as possible."

"They are?" Zane blinked confusedly.

"I'll explain later. Come on, we have a detour to make."

Kai returned to the control room, grumbling half-heartedly.

"Sorry, I've got to hang up in a second, Sky," he said. "Sensei wants us to get to training. I'm really sorry those clowns interrupted, I—"

"No, it's okay," Skylor cut in gently. "I needed a good laugh. Besides, we can meet in person soon, right?"

"You know it." Kai smiled. "As soon as I can make it. And no annoying blond hairballs this time, I promise."

"Awww, go easy on him," laughed Skylor. "He's a cute little guy."

"Really?" Kai snorted lightly. "You want him?"

"Oh, come on, he can't be that bad . . . "

"One little brother, completely free," coaxed Kai. "No no, better, I'll pay _you_ to take him off my hands."

"What, so he can mess up our conversations from the _other_ end of the line?"

They both laughed.

"Seriously, though, hotshot," said Skylor, her voice growing gentle again. "It's really sweet how you put up with them. I know my father would never have tolerated that kind of thing . . . " Her smile faltered for a moment, then returned. "So hey. I don't mind a couple interruptions, honest; just lets me know I picked a good guy."

"Aw, w-well . . . " Kai blushed furiously, rubbing the back of his head. "When you put it that way . . . "

Just outside the door, Lloyd and Zane exchanged knowing looks and a silent high-five.

"Do you get it _now?_ " asked Lloyd. Zane nodded contentedly.

"I get it."

* * *

 **A/N: May I direct your attention back towards the beginning of the chapter, where the only actually important content is located? These freaking cell phones, man. Manipulation, and password-stealing thingies, and eeeeeeevil. N' stuff.**

 **By the way! The extra fluff has already started, but some of the upcoming parts might be a little . . . edgy. Hopefully still within the T rating, but, uh . . .**

 **. . . You guys have heard of "lemons," right? So . . . well, what would you say to it if this story had one? Not a super-explicit one or anything, but like, pretty heavily implied. I've never written one before (heck, I don't think I've even _read_ one before), but I've really been wanting to try . . . Would you guys be on-board for that?**


	20. Make Life Take 'em Back

**Edit 04/03/16: To anyone anxious about the lemon mentioned in the previous chapter, no worries, it was an April Fool's joke. No actual suggestive content here!**

 **In other news, uwaa! So many guest reviews! :o**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Guest 1: Don't worry, I promise it won't be too bad! Just stick with me, pleeeease? You can skip any parts you want to skip.**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: I'm powerless to stop them! They break physics itself with their adorableness. And yeah, it definitely won't be explicit. I think you'll find it won't be tooooo bad . . .**

 **Wo, didn't see that rant coming. No worries though, I don't mind rants, as long as they're civil and language-free! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, anyway. Thanks. ^_^''**

 **I do enjoy FirstFandomFangirl's stories! I'd agree they're getting a little OC-heavy, but hey; author's choice. Can't force people to write what you want. Sure do miss dem brotherly fluffies, tho.**

 **There, uh . . . uhm . . . is . . . kinda . . . gonna be romance in this story . . . later on . . . Sorry. But it won't be too central to the plot, if that's any consolation!**

 **Eh, yeah, I kind of understand. I'm a Christian myself, but I don't like to be too pushy about it; I realize that can make non-Christians feel resentful.** **You have to understand, though, a lot of Christians are just really passionate about their faith, and they feel it's important to express that to others. I guess they don't realize what it feels like to be on the other side, so their way of expressing it may not be the most effective. I have seen a LOT of people be "turned off" by it. I've been "turned off" myself, a few times. It makes me sad.**

 **But if you want, I can point you towards some positively lovely fanfictions that are really good and maybe even fluffy, but don't focus too heavily on any of those things you mentioned. Just say the word and I'll send 'em your way!**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **JayaForever421: Hey, I'm kind of in no position to judge. :P Strap yourself in, then! Here we go.**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Eeeyup, me! Writing a (heavily implied, non-explicit) lemon. No holds barred on this story! None.**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Guest 2: Uhh, well . . . I hesitate to explain . . .**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Eris: Because of her dad! Back when Chen owned the place, he had that whole evil factory thing going. He broke, like, ALL the human-rights laws, plus a ton of food sanitation laws. So now all the freed workers are suing the company into the ground, Ninjago's food-quality inspection bureau is breathing down Skylor's neck, nobody wants to eat there anymore . . . She's having a pretty rough time. :S**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Guest 3: Oooh, interesting theory! I dunno, though, Nya is onnnnne heck of a skilled code-reader; she could probably find anything those Technicians cooked up. We'll have to see what she discovers. :)**

 **o~o~o~o~o**

 **Ilene: Heh, it does sound similar, but no, that wasn't intentional. ^_^'' It's a pretty common turn of phrase when someone's annoyed at something they were talked into.**

* * *

 **Sept 8**

 **6:40 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai (completed)**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

The rest of Jay's day, in his opinion, was lousy. Training went poorly; they only had the paper from Snow Dragon to go by, so they spent more time arguing about what the Technicians' weapons would actually be like than they did training to face them. Any attempts they did make to practice ended in comparative failure.

Worse, Sensei Wu picked Jay and Cole to put away the equipment when they took a break for dinner. Sometimes Jay could have _sworn_ Sensei knew exactly who wanted to avoid whom.

He put up with Cole whistling "Sorry I Stole Your Girlfriend" for a while. At "Bird Dog," however, he lost patience.

"Would you knock that off?"

"Knock what off?" Cole smiled innocently. "No, actually, I was going to ask you for some tips. How _do_ you lure a girl out of an established relationship in three days?"

"I dunno, you tell me," said Jay darkly. "Listen, I'm only gonna tell you once more, dirtclod. There is _nothing_ going on between me and Mindy."

"Geeeeeez, I know that," scoffed Cole. "I mean, I'm the one who introduced you to her. If I thought I was actually complicit in some kind of cheating scandal, I'd have warned her boyfriend already."

Jay tried not to think about what would probably have followed in such a case.

"Nice to know whose side you're on," he muttered. "But hey. Either way, _you've_ got nothing to be mad about, so you can get off my case already."

"I'm not mad. Do I look like I'm mad?" Cole shooed Meep off a stack of training mats. "Heck no. I'm just getting even."

Jay groaned.

"Besides, everyone keeps complaining I'm no fun anymore!" continued Cole cheerfully. "This is fun."

"Are you _only_ interested in the kind of fun that involves driving me up the wall?"

"Of course not." Cole grinned. "Just especially."

"Greaaaaaat." Jay growled, tossing a tangled kusarigama into the repair pile.

"I'm set for months, you know." Cole dug into his pocket and pulled out a long slip of paper. "I have at least forty-four songs to use, and I keep thinking of new ones."

Jay stared at him for a moment.

"You are _actually_ keeping a list."

"Sure am."

Jay shut his eyes and very deliberately summoned a ball of lightning in one hand.

"Ah, ah!" Cole held up his hands, smirking. "You know the rule, no powers indoors!"

Which was true. In the interests of not having charred walls, exploded lightbulbs, and broken floorboards all over the ship, the ninja were forbidden from using elemental powers inside, except in special training sessions supervised by Sensei Wu.

Jay wasn't really feeling rule-abiding right now, though. He drew his hands apart, building a larger and larger charge between them.

"Is that electricity I hear?" Wu's muffled voice drifted from somewhere else on the ship. Jay started, then hesitated for a second, still brandishing twin fistfuls of static.

Then Meep suddenly sprang out of nowhere, grabbing eagerly at the pale-blue tendrils of light circling Jay's hands. Attracted to the alien's watery form, the electricity shot straight into him, sending up a bright white flash.

"No!" gasped Jay. He'd been intending to give Cole a pretty solid jolt, and that was easily enough to kill a tiny alien. For a second the two ninja waited, frozen—but Meep only shook off the charge as if it were nothing. Then he poked at Jay's arm, looking disappointed at the sudden disappearance of the pretty lights.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief. Then he turned angrily to Cole.

"Look what you did now! I could've killed him!"

"Look what _I_ did? You're the one making the lightning, and you _know_ you're not supposed to be using powers indoors!"

"Well, whose fault is that?!"

Cole opened his mouth to snap back, then suddenly shook his head and held up his hands, sighing.

"Woah, woah, woah. Let's not go there, okay?"

"Don't you tell _me_ to forget about it, this is your fault—"

"You want Zane to come in here with another bucket?" said Cole flatly.

Sobered by this very real possibility, Jay fell silent.

"It's still your fault," he muttered at last. Cole sighed again.

"All right, all _right_ , I'm sorry, okay?"

Jay blinked, disarmed.

"I was only teasing," said Cole. "C'mon."

For a moment Jay weighed his options; at last he rolled his eyes and shrugged in grudging concession.

"Ah, forget about it," he muttered, and found himself struggling not to return Cole's smile. "But it's _still_ your fault. Just be glad the aliens are lightning-proof."

"I don't know if 'proof' is really the word," said Cole, nodding towards Meep. Jay looked down to find the alien searching up his sleeve, trying to figure out where he kept the fascinating electric sparkles.

"You like it, huh?" Jay turned over one palm with a small handful of static—not enough to harm even an alien this time, just in case. Meep gave a yowl of approval and batted eagerly at the tiny lightning bolts.

"I don't think he even feels them," said Cole with interest. Jay glanced up, then rolled up a small handful of lightning and flicked it in Cole's direction.

"Ouch!" Cole rubbed his shoulder and gave Jay a "you'll-pay-for-that" smirk. Resigned, Jay smirked back. He knew he could still look forward to at least a week of ragging about Mindy, but he had to admit it probably wasn't worth starting a fight over. He'd put up with it.

Besides, the pendulum always swung the other way eventually. The next time Cole got into any kind of trouble, he would be _in_ for it.

* * *

Nothing else went right that day either. Just before dinner, Lloyd dragged Jay off to the kitchen.

"Come on, now's our chance to prank Kai!" he said. "I checked the list, and our next idea is to dip his fork in vinegar. The table's already set, so we have a clear shot!"

"Sounds good," said Jay, as Lloyd began to rummage in the cupboards. "Hey, if we move fast, we could probably rub it onto the rim of his glass as well."

"Shoot." Lloyd emerged from a cabinet. "I don't know how fast you plan to move, but you might have to make it to the store and back before dinnertime. I don't think we have any vinegar."

"What? I saw some just a few days ago!"

They pawed through the cupboards for a few moments more, but there was no time to conduct a more thorough search. No vinegar was to be found.

"Well, fine. We'll improvise." Jay darted to the refrigerator and dug into the fruit drawer. "Ha! We can juice one of these instead!" He tossed a bag of citrus fruit onto the counter.

"Are you sure nobody needs them?" said Lloyd.

"Neh, it's fine. I think Nya wanted to make lemonade, but it's way past the season for that anyway." Jay dug eagerly into the bag, then grimaced as he pulled out a rather grimy-looking fruit. "Yick, I forgot. Somebody dropped the groceries in the mud that day. Lemme find a cleaner one . . . "

It was a bit of a scramble, and Lloyd was not pleased when the juice got into a scratch he'd obtained during training, but they managed to apply the sour juice to Kai's glass and fork without being detected.

Or at least, they couldn't figure out _how_ they had been detected. Somehow, one way or another, Kai's fork got switched with Lloyd's and his glass with Jay's. The two ninja didn't realize till everyone had started dinner; they exchanged chagrined looks across the table, but said nothing.

* * *

 **Well, there you have it. One heavily-implied lemon, slightly dirty.**

 **Heh . . . April Fool's?**


	21. That Escalated Quickly

**Awh man. You guys are fantastic sports, you know that? Thanks so much to everyone for putting up with my shenanigans. ^_^**

 **Wellllll, now that the fun and games are over, it's time to get serious! We have bypassed the extra fluff, and by golly things are going to start happening in earnest now. Whee! :P**

 **BriarDIEZ: Thank you, thank you! *bows***

 **Kairocksrainbow: Ahhhh, so I guess the "O_O" face was just you playing along? ;) Eh, yeah, I'm not big on April Fool's Day either, but I thought I'd give it a try this one year. It was a little nerve-wracking, I don't know if I wanna do it again. ^_^'' Anyways, thanks for the review! So you like Meep, huh? I'll admit he's kinda more fun to write about, since he isn't stuck in the sink or being carried like Mopp is. :P**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Woah. XD That must've been an anxious few quarter-minutes!**

 **Dragongirl15: Ha, I'm honored! X3 Man, in hindsight I feel kinda bad about asking people to choose between sticking with their standards and sticking with the story. If I've lost readers, I guess I deserve it. ^_^'' Glad I haven't lost you, though!**

* * *

 **Sept 9**

 **1:02 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Jay and Cole**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

That night, exhausted after the extra training, most of them went to bed early. Jay was too achy to fall asleep, though; at last he got up to get a drink.

He stepped out into the hallway, shut the bunkroom door softly behind him, and nearly had a heart attack when a dark form suddenly sprang at his face. Then he realized it was just Meep, wandering the halls.

"You little fiend," scolded the lightning ninja, loosening his death grip on the doorknob. Chuckling softly, he set off down the darkened corridor, Meep trailing alongside.

Turning the corner, he stopped and raised his eyebrows. There was light filtering from under the control room door. Nya was still up fiddling with that smartphone?! Wow. Typical Nya—once she really got into something, she'd forget that time was even a concept.

Shaking his head, Jay decided he'd better go over and see how she was doing. Maybe he could sort of gently hint that she should get some sleep.

Before he could make a move, however, a soft electronic melody echoed from the direction of the control room. It was the ringtone of an incoming call on the _Bounty's_ main computer. Jay knit his brows. Who'd be calling at this hour? Especially considering how few people knew their number.

From the control room came a crash—Nya must have knocked something over—then some muffled exclamations. Jay raised his eyebrows, stifling a chuckle; he hadn't thought Nya's vocabulary ventured into those particular regions.

Then a sudden thought struck him cold. Who could possibly be calling—except Mindy?! She'd told him she was something of a night owl. She must be calling to ask if he was coming to the formal tomorrow! And Nya was going to answer!

Oh no ohno ohno. Nonono. Those two couldn't meet each other! He'd heard about what happened when girls sensed a possible rivalry! Heck, he'd _seen_ what happened when guys sensed a rivalry. Cue the anime sweatdrop.

Okay, so he had a little more faith in Nya's maturity than his own. She'd doubtless take it with grace, and there wasn't really much chance of a rivalry in the first place—he was currently in a romantic relationship with _neither_ of them. But still, he had a feeling a conversation between Nya and Mindy could end up hurting either or both girls, and he didn't want that. What to do?

The ringtone stopped. Jay's heart plummeted. He held his breath, waiting to hear Mindy's bubbly voice.

He got something even worse. Following Nya's "hello!" came a raspy, throaty "Good evening, Misssssss Nya."

Serpentine.

Nya was getting a phone call from a Serpentine?!

Heart pounding, Jay slowly lifted one foot, aiming to edge closer. He was too far away to hear the conversation clearly, but the hallway's floorboards were creaky. He wasn't sure if ninja stealth beat out samurai senses.

The sibilant rumble of the Serpentine's voice continued to mix with Nya's lighter tones. The conversation seemed to be serious, but not at all tense. What was going _on?_

Then Nya's voice suddenly rose a little.

"Sure, I can show them to you. Give me a second, I have them in my workroom."

Oh snap.

Realizing he had about two seconds to get himself the heck outta sight, Jay looked around frantically, then grabbed Meep by the leg and yanked them both into the nearest doorway—the hallway bathroom. Leaning back against the door, he clutched Meep and tried to control his breathing. The alien squirmed and looked up at him curiously, and Jay wished fervently that these critters had mouths you could clamp a hand over. If this dork decided to babble now, he was screwed.

Mercifully, Meep kept quiet. Nya's footsteps pattered by in the hallway, the door to her room clicked open and shut, then she pattered back in the other direction. Jay licked his lips nervously. What was she _doing?_

After a few minutes he ventured to slip back out into the hall. The muffled conversation was still taking place in the control room, and for a second Jay considered bursting in and confronting Nya about it. But what if that put her in danger? . . . His insides went cold as he remembered what Kai had told him about Nash. What if . . . what if there was a connection? What if the crazy Serpentine had somehow tracked down Kai's sister? It wasn't a long shot, considering that he knew Kai. What if he'd realized that the ninja were getting uncomfortably close to cracking the Technicians' secrets, and now he was threatening Nya to keep them away?

Jay listened for a moment, chewing his lip. It really didn't sound like a threatening conversation . . .

. . . What if she was _in cahoots with the Technicians?!_

At this point Jay silently smacked himself in the forehead. The late hour and dark hallway must be getting to him. Nya had even more willpower (aka stubbornness) than her brother, and all his fierce loyalty—she'd never go along with any shady dealings.

. . . Would she?

He would never have thought Kai would get mixed up with drug-dealing Serpentine, and look how _that_ went.

Hanging his head, Jay turned back to the bunkroom. This was too big an issue to barge into at one AM; he'd have to think it over and figure out some way to approach Nya tactfully.

Boy, sleeping was going to be tough tonight.

* * *

Obviously Jay had nightmares. He woke up hitting the floor from the top bunk, and for a moment all he could do was thrash, still convinced that Serpentine had overrun the _Bounty_ and he was the sole survivor. They were coming for him, coiling their scaly tails around his neck—

"Jay. Jay! Wake up!"

Oh no wait, those were the bedsheets.

Sitting up, Jay blinked through the darkness and saw Lloyd leaning over him. The green ninja reached over tentatively to pat his shoulder, not sure if he was done flailing.

"Just a dream," he whispered bracingly.

"Argh." Jay rubbed one eye and looked around. The others were still there, safely asleep. Phew. Not so bad; he could tolerate the kind of nightmares that were obviously not true the minute you woke up. The lousy kind were the ones where it took you half the morning to realize it had been a dream.

"What are you doing up?" he whispered to Lloyd, though he had a decent idea.

"Same as you."

They both sighed.

"We can make a job of this," said Jay at last. "The floor inspection society."

"Yeah." Lloyd thumped the heel of his hand appraisingly on the ground and nodded. "Good floor. Very . . . floorlike."

"A little too hard, though," said Jay.

"We'll have to dock points for that."

Jay laughed hollowly and licked his lips, still thinking about Serpentine. Nya's phone call had reminded him of Nash, and the fact that he still hadn't told anyone about Kai's involvements with Venomari spit. He should really get around to that . . . Cautiously he snuck a glance over at Lloyd. Kai had mentioned that the kiddo already knew something about this situation, so maybe it would be easiest to start with him?

Before Jay could speak, though, there was a flurry of motion and a harsh clatter. Zane, without any kind of preamble, had rolled out of bed. Shaking his head blearily, he blinked from a tangle of blankets, his eyes glowing a soft, frightened blue in the darkness.

"A new member joins the floor inspection society," sighed Jay, as Lloyd crawled over to disentangle the bewildered Nindroid from the bedsheets.

"Am I awake?" asked Zane, shying away. The falcon fluttered down from his headboard, alighted on his shoulder, and pecked his ear.

"Oh . . . I guess I am." Zane rubbed his head. Lloyd laughed softly and gave the falcon a reproachful tap on the beak.

* * *

Jay was uncharacteristically quiet all through breakfast that morning. First off, he was groggy from the lost sleep last night, especially after all that training. Second, he was dreading the formal this afternoon. Third, he was freaked out about Nya's phone call, and he still didn't know what to do about it.

He snuck a glance down the table to Nya, who was cheerfully doodling sketches for their spaceship. She seemed so at-ease, how could there be anything shady going on? . . .

"Oh!" Nya suddenly looked up, and Jay jumped, hoping she hadn't noticed him staring. "Forgot to tell you guys, I finished checking through that smartphone's coding."

"How long were you up? . . . " asked Kai. Nya pretended she hadn't heard.

"In the entire thing, I only found one piece of coding that didn't belong in a normal smartphone."

"And?" asked Lloyd hopefully.

"It's junk." Nya shook her head. "It's just this tiny little lump of code that couldn't do _anything_. I don't even know why they would put something like that in there!"

"Maybe it's a leftover," said Jay. "Maybe they have some kind of code that executes and then self-destructs, but it leaves behind that tiny bit. Or . . . something?" He shrugged awkwardly; coding wasn't his strongest suite.

"Yeah, I guess that could be it." Nya looked glum. "Either way, I'm done with the smartphone, and I have it all fixed up again, ready to return." She looked to Cole. "I have some other errands in New Ninjago City too; do you think you could fly me there and pick me up in the afternoon?"

Jay gulped. Considering that Cole wasn't actually the one with the city patrol anymore . . .

"Sure, I can drop you off." Cole didn't bat an eyelid. Jay blinked over at him surprisedly, but Cole merely raised his eyebrows like, "Well, what?" and went back to his breakfast. Was he . . . trying to cover for him? Jay felt a little twist of warmth go through his insides.

All the same, this was getting out of hand. The more Jay tried to keep Nya from hearing about Mindy, the more suspicious it was going to look when she inevitably did hear about her. Now was a good time to be honest.

"Actually . . . " Jay took a deep breath. "I'm the one with the city patrol today. We switched."

"Ohh." Jay braced, waiting for Nya to ask why, but instead she seemed preoccupied. "Oh, that's a problem, though. One of my errands was to pick up more gasoline for the _Bounty's_ generator, and I don't know if we should be carrying explosive fuel home on the back of a lightning dragon."

"I can pick up the gasoline," said Kai. Nya gave him a deadpan look.

"Because carrying gasoline on the back of a _fire_ dragon is _so_ much safer."

"Relax, it wouldn't blow up!" Kai waved a hand. "Those big containers are spark-proof anyway, and I could use a little excitement."

"You just have a death wish, don't you?" said Nya, exasperated.

"Forget death wish, he just wants an excuse to see Skyyyyyy-lor," sang Cole.

"Geeeez. Okay, so maybe I do," said Kai, rolling his eyes. "I was gonna go see her anyway, might as well be useful while I'm out there."

" _Really?_ " Nya snorted. "You couldn't just go to the city to visit her, you _have_ to try get yourself killed in the process?"

A squabble began. Nothing the others weren't used to—Nya was never too happy with Kai's daredevil ways, despite her own recklessness. Zane, yawning, caught his drowsy falcon just before it could topple off his shoulder.

Jay went to wash his breakfast dishes. He lingered a little bit extra with Meep and Mopp, knowing he would be away for most of the day. Cole came to put his dishes away too.

"I'm impressed," he said. "Didn't think you'd have the guts to be square with Nya about that."

"Yeah, well. Whatever." Jay didn't look up. "But, uh . . . well . . . thanks. F-for trying to cover for me, I mean."

"What, you mean helping you dig a hole under yourself?" Cole gave a snort of laughter. "Any time."

Jay rolled his eyes, smiling. There were moments like this when, despite everything, Cole actually did seem like a pretty okay older brother to have.

"'ey." Cole elbowed him on his way out. "Have fun at the formal. Try to take a good cold shower just before, or something. You don't wanna get _too_ obvious, Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl."

Annnnnnd there the moment went.

* * *

Jay was a little delayed in gearing up for patrol, since he had to pack a backpack with some fancier clothes. Kai and Nya had finally squabbled themselves to a standstill; it was arranged that Kai would indeed fetch the gasoline from New Ninjago City, flammability be darned. Meanwhile Jay would be dropping Nya off at the garage where she kept the DB Xpress, and Cole (who would be done with his patrol _much_ sooner than Jay) would swing by the city on his way home to pick her up.

It was a mess. Jay was looking forward to the day when the _Bounty_ was repaired and they could just go back to their usual cloverleaf patrols.

"If you blow up, I'll laugh," said Nya sourly, sitting on a trunk full of weaponry. Kai snorted and tightened the buckles on his gi.

Meanwhile Jay fiddled with his weapon belt, eyeing Nya. She still hadn't asked why he'd switched patrols with Cole, and now that he was no longer panicking about that, he wondered: what kind of errands _did_ she have in New Ninjago City? Errands that she needed the entire DB Xpress to run?

It could just be groceries, of course. Returning the phone. Undoubtedly getting supplies to fix the ship, too. But what if . . . what if there were also some Serpentine affairs in the mix? . . . _Technician_ affairs? . . . It was ridiculous, of course, but now he couldn't shake the idea . . .

Jay looked around. Kai was still here, and Lloyd was lurking in the doorway too, but maybe he could ask some _super_ -subtle questions. Or at least see if she was nervous or . . . or _something._

"So, uh," he began, hesitant. "The _Bounty'_ s low on gas, huh?"

"Yeah." Nya gave a frustrated sigh. "The generator is drawing way more gasoline than it normally does; the crash must have caused a leak in a fuel line or something. Just another thing to fix."

"Oh." Jay pulled on the top layer of his patrol gi. "Well that sucks. So, uh, what else are you— _what the freaking freak?!_ "

He'd just jammed his hands into his pockets, and both had met with something mushy and slimy and cold. Yelping, he yanked his hands back out and stared at the strange grayish glop now coating them.

"Oh, _come on!_ " groaned Lloyd. Jay turned to him, silently demanding an explanation.

"I didn't tell you about that?" Lloyd smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I burned some oatmeal this morning, and it wasn't any good for eating anymore, so I, uh . . . kinda stuffed it into Kai's shoes. I guess I forgot to clue you in."

"Ughhhhhh." Jay looked around, but Kai had already disappeared. "This is getting out of hand! How does he _do_ it?" He began to dig oatmeal out of his pockets, grumbling. Nya stifled a laugh.

"You two are having an awfully hard time taking my brother down a peg. I hate to think what this must be doing to his invincibility complex."

Jay gave a frustrated groan, casting a scowl at Nya and Lloyd and wherever Kai had gone and the world in general. Then he glared at the two dripping handfuls of cold mush he'd managed to scoop from his pockets.

". . . Where's Cole?"

What with one thing and another, he forgot to ask Nya what her errands were about.

* * *

The city patrol dragged on. Occasionally Jay glimpsed the hulking form of the DB Xpress in the streets below, but it was always doing something entirely innocuous: waiting at a red light, parked in front of the grocery store, heading for the hardware store. He wasn't so paranoid as to start _following_ her.

Once he glanced up and spotted a bright-red elemental dragon in the distance, with two tiny figures on its back. He considered going over to give Kai a hard time, but decided against it. The poor guy got enough grief as it was.

Besides. Thinking of Mindy made him remember how it felt to be on the receiving end of the ragging.

At last he realized he'd have to cut off for the formal, and there arose the awkward question of changing into his suit. He examined a phone booth, but couldn't comprehend how Superman managed it; in the end he slipped into one of the bathrooms in Borg Industries and changed in one of the stalls. He was well and truly fed up with everything by the time all this was done.

The party was . . . well, a mixed bag. Jay had spent enough time on a TV set that he was comfortable in a suit, but mingling with all these science and technology moguls left him a little shy. The conversation wasn't all that tech-oriented, either, and overall it was more boring than he'd have hoped.

And of course, Mindy. He had to chitchat with her, she'd _invited_ him for Pete's sake, and he struggled so furiously to stay distant while not acting unusual that he wound up making a complete idiot of himself—which was probably pretty usual, actually. She didn't seem to suspect anything.

"I'm still waiting on pictures of that spaceship," she said playfully, scooping a glass off the refreshments table. "How's it coming along?"

"Oh, uh, great," said Jay. "We're having a little bit of trouble finding time to work on it, though. We both have training, I have patrol, and Nya has fixing the ship."

"Mmm." Mindy swirled her drink. "So, tell me about this Nya."

Jay froze, his mouth halfway open. Um, um, umm . . . oboy. Shoot. One of the few things as dangerous as two sort've-rival girls meeting on video chat: describing one of these sort've-rival girls to the other. Talk about a landmine!

But then he realized this was actually great. He could talk freely about Nya—he could tell Mindy all about how awesome she was—and it would just prove that he wasn't trying to threaten her boyfriend. She'd _want_ Jay to not be tooooo interested in her. And best way to convince a girl you're not too interested is to praise another girl to her! Ha, take that, Cole.

"Oh, Nya," he said, putting on his "extra-casual." "Maybe you've heard about her in the news too? She's Kai's sister. Great at building stuff, tinkering, inventing, computer programming—"

"That's all out of my league," laughed Mindy. "I recruit inventors, but that doesn't mean I understand what they're inventing."

Jay started to explain a little bit about the kind of work he and Nya did, trying to make it as clear as possible to the layperson, but he saw that Mindy's eyes were glazing over. Honestly that irked him a little. Maybe it wasn't high drama or anything, but he was really excited about this stuff! Even his teammates, who put up with his technobabble on a regular basis (and complained just as regularly), still made some effort to show that they cared about his projects. If only because they cared about him.

"Sorry, am I boring you?" he broke off to ask.

"Oh! No, no, please continue," said Mindy. Jay hesitated, not really believing it.

"Oh FSM," somebody suddenly said. "I think there's a crash down there."

Jay's head snapped around. A fancily-dressed couple was standing by one of the giant floor-to-ceiling windows, peering into the distance. Without thinking Jay drifted over to them and saw that there was indeed a snarl of traffic forming in the streets, around what looked like an overturned eighteen-wheeler.

"Something going on?" asked Mindy, joining him.

"Yeah, there's been an accident." Jay turned to her with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to duck out for a while. It's my patrol today, and part of patrol duty is to help the city services handle any crashes."

"Oh. Well go ahead," said Mindy. She seemed peeved. As Jay hastily wove his way out of the room, he again experienced a flash of irritation. By the time he made it to the ground floor it had consolidated into a sort of grumpy defensiveness.

"Sorry, but I've got a _job_ , you know," he muttered to no one in particular as he bolted out onto the sidewalk. If Mindy had issues with him fulfilling his ninja duties, tough!

It was only then that he realized he was still in his fancy suit. Dangit. Well, maybe his assistance wouldn't be needed. If it was, he'd work things out once he got there.

He powered up his dragon and flapped hastily towards the site of the crash, still grumbling. He'd always said those big trucks shouldn't be allowed to drive through the city! Just seeing them trying to squeeze through the intersections was enough to give you a heart attack. They caused more accidents than every other kind of vehicle put together, and—

He reached the crash site and landed, aghast. That eighteen-wheeler must have been trying some kind of truly _insane_ maneuver—it was lying in two pieces, the trailer crumpled on its side with a lamppost impaling it and the cab almost upside-down. Caution tape and barricades were already set up all around the scene, and ambulances and police vehicles were flashing on every quarter. Jay jogged over to the barricade to see where he could help out.

Then his heart stopped.

The truck hadn't crashed on its own; there was a mangled, flaming wreck where another vehicle had been. And hanging off the twisted pile of metal was the front bumper of the DB Xpress.


	22. Get Rekt

**Hm, being a little facetious with the chapter titles, aren't I? Ah well. XD**

 **Guest: Awwwwwwwh, thank you! ^_^'' Ha, well, Jay doesn't really want any drama, he's trying his best to** ** _not_** **make anyone jealous right now. But I'm sure he's not suffering too much; having too many potential love interests must be a rather nice problem to have. XP**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Kai says nevarrrrrr! If those two want a victory, they better** ** _earn_** **it. XD Thanks for the support! My offer to point you to some good fanfics still stands. :)**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Nya YES! Yep. o.O Yeah, never really celebrated it either. Fun fact, Mopp's the smarter one! Or at least, he gets better-educated because he's not tearing all over the ship being a goof like Meep is. XD**

* * *

 **Sept 9**

 **2:35 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Jay and Cole**

 **Status conditions: Nya's status unknown**

* * *

Jay was under the barricades and in the midst of the chaos without even realizing how he'd gotten there. He skidded up to the wreck of the DB Xpress and circled it frantically, looking for heaven knows what. Then he whirled around and began to weave among the wreckage and emergency vehicles, heart pounding. This ambulance was empty—this one had its doors closed—where was someone he could ask? Where was Nya?!

"Hey! Gerroutta the way!" someone bellowed. Jay turned and saw a fireman waving at him impatiently—they wanted to start hosing down the flaming remains of the Xpress. Stumbling aside, Jay watched as a wave of firefighting foam washed over the blackened metal. He felt like he was going to be sick . . .

Swallowing, he lurched into a dash again, circling to the next stand of emergency vehicles.

"Jay!"

He looked up and saw Cole, streaks of soot on his face. He looked as panicked as Jay felt.

"Where—"

"I don't know!"

They exchanged despairing looks and turned to keep searching.

"Hey, what're you doing in here?" called a policeman.

"Where's Nya? Have you seen her?" called Cole.

The policeman looked puzzled for a moment, then nodded off to one side.

"You mean her?"

"Nya!"

Jay gasped in relief. She was fine. Kai was there too; apparently they'd only just found each other, because they were still stumbling a little for balance and it didn't look like that kind of death hug could be sustained for more than a few seconds. Jay impulsively jolted forward half a step, then pulled back, hesitant about intruding. Cole, rolling his eyes, shoved him unceremoniously into the two siblings and layered himself on afterwards. He disapproved of squeamishness in hugging.

"G-geez, you guys," said Nya shakily from the center of the pileup. "I wasn't even in the thing, I'd gone into the store for a soda." She smiled wanly at Kai as he held her at arm's length, looking her up and down as if convincing himself she really was intact. "Sorry I scared you for nothing . . . "

"Dear eff ess em. For nothing, she says." Kai closed his eyes and reeled her into another hug. "Do you even realize what could have _happened?_ "

Jay and Cole exchanged an ironic smile. So much for this morning's name-calling.

"Kinda scared me too," said Nya, swiping one knuckle under her eyes surreptitiously as Kai let her go. "I'd just walked into the store, and all of a sudden it's _scrreeeeee_ -kaboom, and I look outside and this giant truck flies by and wipes the DB Xpress off the face of the planet." She looked sadly over her shoulder at the wrecked vehicle, now covered in mounds of fire-retardant froth. "There goes my baby. It wasn't even a year old . . . "

"We're just glad you're all right," said Cole.

"What happened to the truck driver?" Kai had regained some of his composure by now, and was now progressing (predictably) into rage mode. "If he's still alive, I'll kill him."

"Kai," said Cole reproachfully, even though they all knew he didn't mean it. The fire ninja tended to talk big at times like this; if the guy was injured, Kai would probably be down on his knees helping him. Probably cursing at him all the while too, but hey. You couldn't ask _too_ much.

With Kai still staying protectively close to Nya, they started to wander around looking for the truck driver. At last they found him, strapped to a gurney and being lifted into an ambulance. There was an oxygen mask over his face.

"Is he okay?"

Yep, typical Kai.

An EMT looked at them oddly, probably wondering what they were doing here, but nodded.

"He's got some broken bones and a punctured lung, but he should heal up okay."

Meanwhile Nya edged closer to the guy, hoping to wish him a safe recovery.

"Hi, sir," she said, a little subdued as she took in the bruises all down one side of his face. Jay stepped up next to her just in time to see it: the half-conscious man's gaze drifted to Nya, and suddenly fixed on her. Then his face, behind the oxygen mask, suddenly contorted into the most horrific expression of rage. Nya started and stepped back, and without thinking Jay swung a protective arm up in front of her.

"Wh-what was _his_ problem?" murmured Nya, watching the gurney being slid into the ambulance. Jay said nothing. Behind him he could hear the EMT talking with Kai and Cole, saying that it was amazing the guy was injured so little, he must have been going like eighty miles an hour . . .

Why would a truck be going eighty in the middle of the city?

Jay swung around and dashed towards the wrecked truck. Over his shoulder he could see Cole turning to look after him, then following.

Ignoring him, Jay dodged between firefighters and police officers and medical personnel, disregarding various demands as to what he was doing here. Worming his way right to the back of the overturned tractor-trailer, he yanked at the loading door, forcing the crumpled metal to roll open. A bunch of battered cardboard cartons spilled out, jumbled from the force of the crash. Hands shaking, Jay tore one of the cartons open.

Smartphones. All different brands.

He looked up just in time to see Cole standing over him, staring at the mangled shipment.

"Technician," whispered Jay. "He _wanted_ to kill her."

Cole let himself sink back against the half-open door of the truck. He and Jay stared at each other in silent terror for a moment. Then they both looked back to Kai and Nya.

"Let's . . . tell them later," said Cole. "They're not ready for this kind of news. Plus the truck driver is still close enough to murder, and if Kai hears this, he _will_ murder him."

" _I_ might murder him!" said Jay hotly. Cole gave a sympathetic grimace.

Things simmered down a bit. They helped out with the cleanup and traffic redirection, Cole and Jay split the remainder of the city patrol, they told the police their suspicions about the injured guy, and Kai took Nya around on his dragon to re-do some of the errands.

"Got everything?" called Cole, landing his dragon in the city's central park. He plunked down next to Jay on a park bench so they could wait for Kai.

"What a day, huh?" he sighed.

"Yeah." Jay kicked his heels, his eyes downcast.

"Freaked out?" said Cole.

"K-kinda . . . "

"Me too."

A bit of silence.

"He wanted to _kill_ her," said Jay softly. "How are we going to tell her this? 'Oh, hey Nya, forgot to mention, that guy was trying to murder you! Wild, huh?' . . . How's a person supposed to handle that kind of news?"

"I know, it's gonna be rough," said Cole, wincing. "But we can try to break it really gently. And you know—Nya's a tough cookie. It's not exactly the first time people have tried to kill her." He laughed humorlessly. "Seems like someone's _always_ trying to kill us all."

"It feels different this time," mumbled Jay. "What if we're in over our heads?"

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Think about it!" Jay shook his head. "Think how much they must know. They know it was us in Snow Dragon Ice Cream—or at least, they know it was Kai attacking one of them yesterday. They know Kai has a sister. They know what she looks like. They know his sister has a DB Xpress. They know what _it_ looks like. And they see she's in town, and they decide hey. She's with the ninja. Let's kill her." Jay sank his face into his hands.

Cole was quiet for a bit.

"Well hey," he said. "I don't know if it's any consolation, but they didn't _plan_ to kill her."

Jay gave him a dubious look.

"There are . . . uh . . . Well, much simpler ways of finishing someone off," said Cole. "And even if they wanted to make some kind of dramatic statement, they wouldn't have used a _full_ truck. It wasn't premeditated. It was just that one sicko driving the truck for a delivery and making a split-second decision."

"I . . . guess that's good . . . " Jay slouched, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

"Hey. Come on." Cole nudged him. "I know it's all dramatic in our heads right now, but honestly this is just another blip on our radar. Come on, we've fought the _Overlord_ , twice. Talk about hopeless-looking situations! And it turned out okay. We can handle this."

Jay sighed, letting his head swing back.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess so."

They sat in silence for a while.

"Sooooo," said Cole. "How was the formal?"

"Oh, for the love of—" Jay was in no mood for banter just now.

"Have a good time with Mindy? Does her boyfriend know you've been _messin' with the same girl, same girl_ —"

"Just shut up, Cole, _please_."

Cole, rolling his eyes, fell silent. After a few moments, Jay lifted his head to blink at him amazedly.

"That has got to be the first time in history that you actually shut up when I asked you to."

"Yeah, well." Cole fought back a smirk. "You asked nicely."

"You mean all these years, all I had to do was say 'please' and you'd have given me a break?!"

". . . Probably not."

Jay kicked him in the shin.

* * *

It was only later that Jay suddenly realized now would be a good time to tell Cole about Nash. But again he was stymied; just at that moment Kai and Nya returned, landing in a whirl of flame.

"We've got the groceries, and some really dangerous-looking six-inch screws," Kai called, handing the bags down to Nya before dissipating his dragon. "Still need the gasoline." He looked to Cole. "Uhh . . . "

"Sure, I'll take it," said Cole.

"Oh, so you've had enough thrills for the day?" said Nya, smacking her brother's arm playfully. Kai made a face. Apparently a few hours running errands together had worn off most of their earlier scare.

As they tried to sort out who was going to carry which purchases home, Nya approached Jay.

"Think I could ride home with you?" she asked.

"Uh—" Jay fumbled. He was distracted by the sudden urge to give Nya another hug; he was nowhere near over the incident himself. Nya chuckled.

"If I hang out with my brother much longer, we're gonna start fighting again. And after everything that's happened, I'd _really_ like to be nice to him for as long as possible."

"Sure." Jay grinned. Even so, he felt a little thrill go through him when Nya climbed up behind him and grabbed his waist for balance. Probably just because it was so surprising to be touched that way.

Soon they had the gasoline and were flying back to the _Bounty_ , three abreast.

"So," Nya called above the rush of wind. "I forgot to ask. How come you guys switched patrols?"

"Yeah, how come we did?" added Cole, smirking.

"Ugh." Jay sighed. "Nothing much. There was just a science event at Borg Industries."

"Ohhhh, that explains the suit. How was it?"

"Yeah, how _was_ it?"

Jay gave Cole an unamused look.

"It was okay. Kinda boring." He glanced over his shoulder at Nya. "Okay, can I ask _you_ a question now?"

"Sure."

"Why were you video chatting with a Serpentine last night? . . . "

He felt fairly safe asking—considering what the Technicians had just pulled, he was pretty sure Nya was _not_ in cahoots with them—but he should have taken Kai into consideration. One of the grocery bags went up in flames.

"Dude, those were the Twinkies," said Cole morosely.

Kai had bigger concerns.

"You were video chatting with a WHAT?!" he yelped, staring across at his sister.

"A Serpentine." Nya rolled her eyes. "You remember I said I had contacts who could help us find the Technicians' tunnels? I know a Constrictai or two in the mining business—they're great at tunneling, you know? And they've agreed to keep their eyes open and do a little extra digging around."

"What is my sister doing collabing with _Serpentine?_ " growled Kai.

"They're doing us a favor, you jerk!" Nya scowled across at him. "They're perfectly lovely people . . . Er, snakes. Snake-people."

"Then why are you talking with them in the middle of the night like you've got something to hide?"

"One, because they work the night shift. Two, because I knew I could expect that kind of reaction from you, you—you humanist!"

"That's not what that means," said Cole. He was muffling laughter. Jay gave him a scandalized look.

"Relax," said Cole, as the argument between Kai and Nya continued. "This just means that things are back to normal."

Jay drew in his breath slowly and tried to let his anxiety go. Cole was right; they'd handled dangerous people before, and they'd had near-misses before. They'd come out on top, they always did.

* * *

Nya and Kai were still at loggerheads about Serpentine and other unrelated issues by the time they got back to the _Bounty_. Ignoring them, Cole started to lug the heavy gasoline canister down to the ship's engine room. Jay went over to help, but was suddenly tackled by an ecstatic Meep.

" _EeeeEEEEeee!_ "

"Oh, hi pal. Nice to see you too." Jay pried the critter's tentacles from his face, smiling in spite of himself.

"Hey guys!" Lloyd popped in, carrying Mopp.

"Oh look," said Cole. "Hair."

"With a Lloyd underneath it," agreed Jay.

"Oh, you're right. Sorry kid, didn't notice you under there."

"Hilarious, you guys." Lloyd rolled his eyes, then looked Jay up and down. His suit was rather the worse for wear. "Woah. Did something happen out there?"

"Oh, all kinds of fancy things. Wait till you hear it," sighed Jay. He reached over to pet Mopp. "Were the aliens good?"

Mopp, cooing, rolled onto his back to distribute Jay's petting and began to warble a strange electronic tune. Amazingly, Meep joined in with a backbeat. Jay stared from one alien to another.

" . . . Is that the theme from Green Hill Zone?"

"I believe it is," said Zane from the doorway. Lloyd cast him a nervous glance.

"Now, where would they have learned that?" Cole looked sternly to Lloyd. "You two weren't just playing video games all day, were you?"

"Of course not," stammered Lloyd, reddening. "We were training too."

"Yeah? How long?"

". . ."

"Lloyd."

" . . . M-maybe half an hour? . . . "

Cole scowled at the sheepish younger ninja for a moment. Then he sighed, relenting, and dragged him over to administer a punitive noogie.

"Cut it out!" protested Lloyd, laughing. "You know he needs video game practice!"

"Ohh, the sacrifices you make for your little brother." Cole gave his hair a final scruff and shoved him gently back upright. "At least tell me you made some progress."

"Tons. Right Zane?"

"I can reach the end of the level," said Zane shyly.

"Not bad, not bad," said Cole. "Well, glad you had your fun while you could, because after today, we're gonna want to _really_ kick the training up a notch."

Cole didn't lie; by the end of the day they were all run pretty ragged. Cole called off tomorrow's patrol circuits for the sake of training extra, and for once nobody complained. The intensity of the near-miss convinced them all to get serious here.

Kai and Nya seemed back to their old selves. Except just before they went to bed, Jay caught the fire ninja (when he thought nobody was looking) giving his sister one last snuggle and planting a quick kiss in her hair.

* * *

Jay sat bolt upright in the dead of night, nearly hitting his head. He couldn't remember what he'd been dreaming; all he knew was that his heart was pounding and he felt majorly unsettled. Rolling out of bed, he stumbled to the kitchen, hoping to get some juice.

" _Gloop?_ " said Mopp from the sink. Jay mumbled a hello and wandered to the refrigerator, but Mopp began to warble so plaintively that he didn't have the heart to ignore him. Scooping the alien up in one arm, he leaned back against the counter and petted him absent-mindedly, yawning. As the soothing motion lulled the alien back to sleep, Jay's own eyes began to slide slowly closed.

As soon as he slipped out of full consciousness, his nightmare suddenly returned full-force. Suddenly he was the Technician truck driver, huddled in the cab of the eighteen-wheeler, sighting the red trim of the DB Xpress far ahead. His jaw tightened, his hands gripped the wheel, his foot jammed down the accelerator—there was crashing, glass splintering, metal crumpling, fire, blood splattering across the street—

Jay snapped awake, unwittingly dropping Mopp, and lurched for the kitchen sink. Oh god. He was going to throw up . . .

His stomach twisted again, threatening reverse function but refusing to commit. Breathing slowly, he leaned on his elbows, trying to calm down. There was a soft patter as Meep landed on the countertop next to him, chirping in concern. Then there was a tug on the leg of his pajama pants. Rocking back slightly, he saw Mopp had pulled himself across the floor and was now hugging his ankle, gazing up at him worriedly.

" _Eeeeee?_ "

Jay took another deep breath, feeling his insides finally settling.

"Hey. It's okay." He swallowed and crouched down shakily to scratch Mopp's head. "Sorry, little guy."

"Jay?"

His head snapped up. Nya was standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay?" She squinted at him through the light. "You don't look so good."

"I-I'm fine." Jay looked away. How long had she been standing there? He hoped she hadn't seen him come so close to tossing his cookies like a wuss.

"Nightmares again?" Nya picked up Meep and sat down on the floor, facing Jay. "Me too."

Jay ventured to look her up and down, assuring himself again and again that she was okay.

"Don't be so worked-up about it," she said gently. "It's over; I'm fine."

He swallowed. Eventually she would have to know. For her own safety.

"Nya," he blurted. "That truck driver was—w-was—"

"Aiming for me. I know."

"You knew?!"

"I figured it out pretty fast." Nya looked down at Meep, stroking the drowsy alien. "Trucks don't do eighty in the city."

Jay swallowed again.

"You're taking it _really_ well," he said at last.

"No, believe me, I'm scared too." Nya settled back, sighing. "But I'm more scared for you guys. You're the ones who go to the city every day to patrol, putting yourselves in harm's way again and again. I know I can always come in to help as Samurai X, but that doesn't stop me from worrying. I could sit here all night telling you all the horrible things I imagine happening sometimes."

"Really?" whispered Jay.

"Yeah. But I know I can't let the worry take over. I know you're all tough, and you watch out for each other; I know you'll watch out for me too. None of us have anything to be afraid of."

"Wow." Jay smiled weakly. "I feel like a wimp now."

"No, no, Jay!" She took his hands, tugging gently until he looked her in the eye. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just—I know what it's like to be scared for someone. And I'm really sorry I did that to all of you today. And . . . and I just wanted to say, thanks for caring."

"Mmh," stammered Jay, blushing.

A bit of silence.

"M-maybe we should get back to bed," said Jay at last.

"Eh." Nya chuckled. "Why bother? Now's a perfect time to work on our invention."

"But what about training? Tomorrow's going to be another crazy day—"

"And it's not like lying awake in bed is going to help any. You think you'd be able to sleep?"

"Heh. Probably not."

They put the aliens back into the sink and pattered softly to the workroom.

"No soldering, I guess," said Nya, slipping her bathrobe off and putting a work apron on. "No hammering. No power tools."

"There's always the framework," said Jay.

"Yeah, and the propulsion system. We still have to design that."

As they slipped back into the comfortable conversation of inventing and designing, Jay realized that he'd forgotten what the nightmare was even about. Truth be told he could probably have fallen back asleep.

. . . Ehhh, nah. He didn't want to miss this.

In the end though, he woke up the next morning (slouched against the folded Samurai X suit) to find Nya asleep at the worktable, her head pillowed on her arms. So much for that.


	23. One Does Not Simply Subdue an Alien

**Woohoo! Past 200 reviews! Thanks so much for the support, fellas. ^_^ And so many theories and suggestions coming in over the weeks! I always love to hear how you guys think the story will play out. :)**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Awww, thank you! Yep, Kai is. He never really let go of the old "everyone hates snakes!" mentality from Season 1, and his experiences in the Slither Pit after Rebooted didn't help. It's a sad reality** — **even the most caring people can have their prejudices. In Kai's case, he's biased partly _because_ he cares** — **snakes tried to hurt his family, and he has a hard time forgiving them for that.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Kinda more learned, yes. XD And thanks! Man, I'm pretty blown away at how much people have been reviewing. :3**

* * *

 **Sept 10**

 **7:35 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

"Do I want to know?" asked Kai at breakfast. Yesterday's shock had worn off, as shock often does, and now most of them were a little cranky, aware that a long day of training lay ahead. But Nya and Jay, happily oblivious to the world, were sitting across from each other and building an appalling construction out of forks and juice bottle caps.

"Can you guys do your table art or whatever later?" asked Cole. "We need to start planning out training strategies for today."

"Come _on_ , not during breakfast!" protested Kai.

"Yeah, during breakfast."

"Geez, you're so serious lately," grumbled Lloyd. "Don't leave us!"

Just at that point Jay slammed his fist down on the tines of a fork. The handle snapped up and hit the tines of another fork, which catapulted backwards and hit a few other forks, and suddenly the entire contraption he and Nya had built was in domino motion, clattering and tossing silverware every which way. Cole gave a startled cry as a butter knife splashed into his orange juice; the others ducked for safety.

Meanwhile, the flipping forks settled into an amazingly regular pattern, catapulting each other around the table.

"YES!" Jay threw his fists into the air. "We have achieved perpetual motion!" He dodged a few whirling forks to exchange a high-five with Nya. "Now we just need to translate this construct into the spaceship!"

"You don't say," deadpanned Cole. Another butter knife landed in his juice glass. He eyed Jay dangerously for a moment, but eventually just pushed the glass aside so further knives would miss it.

" _Oooooo_ ," said Meep, watching as the forks continued to fly.

* * *

Sensei Wu was again settled in the corner of the training room with his tea as the ninja and Nya warmed up for the long day.

"Okay," said Cole, smacking the punching bag grimly. "First a standard warmup. Regular training. Then we'll move on to some Technician-specific techniques. We're gonna have to be in perfect shape, and we're gonna have to be ready to meet each of their attacks without even—" At this point he happened to brush against the jammed training carousel. The contraption creaked and jolted violently, throwing out all its weapons simultaneously and smacking Cole back against a wall. The others winced.

"You okay?"

"Great, just great," grumbled Cole, rubbing his head. "Jay, would it kill you to fix that thing?"

"Probably, considering what happened to you just for touching it!"

Cole gave him an unamused look.

"Okay, okay, so I'll try to get to it today." Jay offered him a hand up, sighing. "Yeesh."

They sparred in pairs or against the training equipment for most of the morning, coached by Wu. Soon enough Jay found himself facing off against Nya. He hadn't had much experience in fighting her before, but oddly he didn't feel awkward or shy about it. She was quite the firebrand.

"Where did you get this much practice fighting hand-to-hand?" he asked, impressed. Then he dodged hastily as Nya swung a mace at his foot.

"What practice?" she grinned. "This is natural-born talent."

"Oh." Jay hesitated, rolling a smart-aleck reply about on his tongue—normally he'd have gone straight ahead with it, but maybe he wasn't _completely_ comfortable sparring with her after all. Nya, meanwhile, took advantage of his distraction to hit him in the arm.

"Ow! Hey!" Irked, he swung back with his nunchucks. Nya blocked, grinning, and they clashed extra-swiftly for a few seconds.

"Halt!"

They both froze, looking surprisedly at Sensei Wu.

"Again, please, only less recklessly," he said.

Exchanging puzzled looks, they resumed sparring, now a little tense and _very_ conscious of proper form under the Sensei's eye. After a minute or two he separated them again.

"It may be wiser for you to spar with different partners," he said. "Your techniques are very similar."

"They are?" Jay snuck a glance at Nya, and found she was sneaking a glance at him.

"Yes, you have many of the same strengths, and almost exactly the same flaws in your style," said Wu. "You cannot learn much from your sparring partner if they are making the same mistakes."

"Oh." Jay, a little disappointed, turned away to look for someone else to fight. Nya, however, stood her ground.

"Wouldn't it be _better_ for us to train together, Sensei?" she asked. "If we're so evenly matched, whoever corrects even one flaw gets an advantage, right?"

"Certainly."

"Well then, if we spar, we'll be trying _realllllly_ hard to find those advantages!" said Nya brightly. "We'll be concentrating on correcting our own form, like we would in battle!"

"Hmmmm." Wu stroked his beard for a moment, smiling to himself. "Well, all right then. You can keep each other as partners for now; if I see your form improving, we may keep this arrangement."

"Thanks, Sensei!" Nya flashed first him, then Jay, an exuberant smile. Jay smirked back and swung into the ready stance.

They kept a grueling pace. By lunchtime they were all exhausted, and tempers were wearing thin. You'd think that sparring and jumping around on training equipment would be the perfect way to let off steam, but that only worked if you were sloppy about it. When you were constantly under pressure, maintaining your stance, tracking every little detail of your technique—well, it was just plain exhausting.

Lunch was short and quiet. Jay and Nya spent most of it fixing the training carousel.

Soon enough they were all back in the training room. Sensei Wu had left them to their own devices by now, and Nya had managed to skip out to work on repairing the ship. Some folks got all the luck.

Weary but determined, the rest of them started warming up again.

"Getting tired, squirt?" said Cole.

"Who, me? Never." Lloyd looked indignant.

"Well, that makes one of us."

"I am not tired," offered Zane.

"Okayyy, two of us."

"Just watch, I'll take you on," grumbled Lloyd, digging in a box of supplies they'd collected for Technician training. He tugged out a pair of handcuffs and snapped one end onto his own wrist. "I'll take you handicapped! They have those weird bola things that they can throw to tie up your arms, right?"

"Uh, Lloyd . . . "

"I think I've worked out how to undo them," said Lloyd, twisting his arms behind his back and deftly cuffing them together that way. "If I can get out of these, the Technician bolas should be no problem!"

"You . . . _do_ realize we don't have the key to those cuffs, right?"

Lloyd looked up, startled. Cole was dead serious.

" _Shoot._ "

Cole chuckled.

"Want me to get those offa you?"

"No, gimme a sec." Lloyd twisted his wrists irritably. "I'll work this out. That's the whole point."

"Welllll, if you're sure," said Cole, and began digging for a handicap of his own. Meanwhile, Jay was kicking the training carousel he and Nya had fixed.

"C'mon, get going," he ordered. With an almighty groan, the machine started to rotate.

"Ha! It works!" crowed Jay, then cringed as the carousel gave a screech. "Just, uh . . . needs a little oiling." Stopping the machine again, he fetched an oilcan and popped open the mechanics.

Lloyd was still in difficulties. He was attempting to pass the handcuff chain under his feet to bring his arms in front of him—not an easy task—and was having trouble keeping his balance. Meanwhile Cole had selected a blindfold, to simulate an encounter with the Technicians' blindness gas. Kai, the team's expert on blindfolded fighting, was trying to give him advice.

"It's all in the ears," he said. "Tilt your head a little, it helps you pinpoint sound better. Listen for breathing, footsteps, clothes rustling."

Cole stumbled, waving his scythe around abstractly.

"I'm gonna kill someone," he groaned.

Sighing, Kai stepped in to relieve Cole of the scythe.

"How about you work with a staff for now, huh?"

"Okay." Cole took the proferred staff and flailed it about as well. "Great. I'm gonna kill someone with a blunt impact!"

"Don't kill anyone." Kai ducked. "Seriously."

"I feel like I'm after a pinata." Cole turned around in circles, jabbing with his staff. Meep, who had just wandered into the training room, squealed indignantly and dodged.

"Oh, the alien's here?" Cole swung his staff quasi-jokingly after Meep. "Alien pinata time!"

"You leave him alone!" warned Jay, as Meep bounded to safety at his side.

"Hey, get that alien outta here," said Kai. "The last thing we need is the little twerps spying on our combat techniques."

"Oh, go on," scoffed Jay. "What, you think they're scanning us for weaknesses? Sending secret intelligence back home?"

"No, he's got a point," said Cole. "At the very least, they could be learning violence."

"Mehh. If I was worried about them learning, I wouldn't let 'em near Kai," said Jay, burying his head in the carousel's mechanics again. "They'd learn to be grouches."

"Ha, ha, ha, hilarious," said Kai acidically. When Jay wasn't looking, he lit a tiny fireball in his hand and brandished it at Meep, glaring.

"Hey, you know the rule! No powers inside the ship!" called Nya's distant voice. Kai raised his eyebrows, quickly extinguishing the flame.

"How does she do that?" said Jay, impressed.

Meanwhile Cole had just blundered into Lloyd.

"Oh, hi kid," he said, poking him with his staff. "Listen, you sure you don't want me to get those cuffs off?"

"No way." Lloyd, giving up a modicum of his pride for the sake of preserving the rest, flopped onto his side and finally succeeded in swinging the handcuff chain under his feet. "Ha! Got it!" Scrambling upright, he brandished his cuffed fists. "Fight me!"

"I'll cream you, pal," protested Cole.

"What are you, chicken?" Lloyd was apparently feeling pugnacious. "Come on!"

"Wellllll, okay," sighed Cole, and swung the staff. Lloyd dodged as best he could; the jingling of the handcuffs gave him away constantly.

"Stop going easy on me!" he scolded. "No Technician would go easy!"

"Geez," said Cole, but brought down the staff a little more vehemently. Lloyd threw up his hands to block, and succeeded in catching the staff with the handcuff chain. Moving fast, he gripped the staff in both hands and yanked it out of Cole's grip.

"Ha! You're going down!" he whooped, and dove in to finish Cole off.

Cole wasn't out of tricks, though. Grabbing blindly at the one thing he could locate—the jingling cuff chain—he yanked hard, throwing Lloyd off-balance. As the green ninja stumbled, Cole swung him around and pulled him backwards. With one arm he lifted the chain as high as he could, forcing Lloyd's hands into the air; he wrapped the other arm firmly around Lloyd's chest, pinning him back.

"And now?" he asked, grinning.

Lloyd squirmed for a moment. Then he attempted to hook a foot around Cole's ankle and pull his feet out from under him, but Cole was rock-solid. Getting a little desperate, Lloyd tried to simply kick him in the leg, but Cole was wearing shin guards.

"Oh, come on!" protested Lloyd at last.

"Hey, like you said." Cole was trying not to laugh. "If I were a Technician, I wouldn't go easy on you."

"If you were a Technician, I'd be dead by now!"

"Hmm." Cole shrugged. "Well, let's pretend I'm a Technician who's taking prisoners."

"Oh, come on. A Technician who's taking prisoners, wearing shin guards, too strong for me to shake off, _and_ all while my wrists are bound? What are the odds of that?"

". . . Admittedly, slim."

"Right. So knock it off already!"

"Mmmm . . . nah. Not just yet."

Lloyd growled, baffled. He let go of the staff in hopes of giving his hands more freedom, but that didn't help either. Cole gave his arms the tiniest bit of slack, teasing him.

"Squirmy little critter," he remarked. "Thrashes like a fish."

"A Lloydfish," laughed Jay. He was ostensibly still oiling the training carousel, but really he was watching over his shoulder. Kai and Zane had unabashedly stopped sparring to observe the fiasco.

"The greater hairy Lloydfish of the northern waters," said Cole. "Very rare."

Lloyd lost patience. Tugging his hands down as far as they'd go, he let twin golden flames snap to life in his palms.

"Hey! Hey there!" Nya's voice echoed from belowships. "No powers inside the ship!"

Defeated, Lloyd killed the energy flares.

"No, really. How does she _do_ that?" whispered Jay. Kai shrugged.

Meanwhile, Lloyd was trying a few last yanks, hoping that Cole's arm was getting tired.

"Aw, c'mon, Lloydfish." Cole shook his blindfolded head. "Give it up."

"No," said Lloyd stubbornly.

"Don't make me convince youuuu . . . " Cole twitched his fingers against his captive's ribs. Lloyd started and kicked reflexively, his eyes widening.

"Ooh, let me help, let me!" Jay scrambled to his feet.

"No!" yelped Lloyd. "Okay, okay, I give up!"

"Awww," sighed Jay, while Cole chuckled and let go of the handcuffs. Lloyd sprang to a safe distance before stopping to rub feeling back into his wrists, eyeing Cole balefully. The earth ninja pushed off the blindfold with a sheepish smile.

"Heh; sorry for giving you a hard time there, kiddo. Couldn't resist."

"Ah, it's fine." Lloyd rolled his eyes. "I'll get even."

"Wowww." Kai looked over bemusedly. "He's getting to be a vengeful sort of Lloydfish, isn't he?"

"You're driving me to it!"

"I know, I know." Cole laughed ruefully. "Come on, let me get those cuffs." Grabbing the chain in both hands, he snapped it with one effortless tug. "You'll have to ask Nya to file off the bracelets, though."

"Mm." Lloyd still looked a little sore, but had to smile when Cole ruffled his hair.

"Aww c'mon, don't be like that. You'd have clobbered me if we were allowed to use our powers."

"And you know it." Lloyd shook him off playfully and tried to get his hair back into order. "But you're still paying for that."

"Okay, okay. But honestly?" Cole went to retrieve his staff. "Considering how much trouble you and Jay are having with Kai, I'm not all that scared."

Jay and Lloyd both groaned.

* * *

Whatever levity might have existed soon disappeared under the grind of continuous training. And, in the case of all Technician practice, continuous failing. Whenever they tried to go up against the Technicians' weapons, the weapons won every time. Luckily nothing lethal happened, but the results were often fairly painful.

As the hours dragged by, they tried a change of pace. Zane had researched the Shleesh stuff the Technicians supposedly had—apparently it was an aerosol lubricant, usually used for industrial machinery. The paper Lloyd had stolen from Snow Dragon indicated that the Technicians sprayed it on the ground instead, creating an impassible slick; they themselves had special shoes that allowed them to walk on the stuff.

After getting Nya's permission to activate his powers indoors, Zane generated his smoothest possible ice sheet across the floor. Jay tested the surface dubiously with one toe. Lloyd took two steps and wiped out.

"Maybe . . . maybe let's not use the sharp weapons here," he said.

It was a disaster. They tried to spar hand-to-hand, but nobody could stay upright for more than ten seconds, not even Zane.

"Well," said Kai from the floor. "We're screwed."

Cole skidded violently and grabbed at Zane for balance—rather pointless, since the Nindroid was on the way down himself. They had been the last ones standing; by now everyone was sprawled out on the ice, too tired and bruised to keep trying.

"So, so, screwed," agreed Jay. "If we can't even handle _this_ , imagine trying to fight someone who isn't slipping!"

A chorus of defeated sighs.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Everyone was too disheartened to talk much. Afterwards they tried to get back to training, most of them looking like they wanted to but couldn't.

"Okay, come on," said Cole bracingly, trying to rally their spirits. "I know it's been a long day, but we can do this. We're getting better, little by little."

"It doesn't feel like it," said Jay tiredly. "It feels like we're getting worse."

"It feels like we've been failing non-stop, _all day_ ," said Kai. "Nothing we try works. How is figuring out all the ways we're _not_ ready to face the Technicians going to help us?"

Cole looked around despairingly. Jay caught his eye for a moment, and for a second he knew they both felt just like he had, back on that park bench in New Ninjago City.

They were _so_ in over their heads.

Jay took a deep breath. He didn't feel like taking this lying down.

"All right." He pushed himself to his feet. "Come on people, we're better than this. Think like a . . . uhh . . . like a salmon!"

"What's fish got to do with this?"

"Well, look at these salmon. You've seen the videos of them jumping up waterfalls, right? When they're little they swim all the way down to the ocean to live, and then when they get older they swim back up the river to lay their eggs. And they're not all that bright, but they know exactly where to go and when to go there, and they jump up these fancy waterfalls and everything, and there's bears and fishermen and sometimes they build dams, and then they . . . " Jay trailed off, bewildered. " . . . I was going somewhere with this."

"Something about jumping straight into a bear's mouth?" said Kai.

"Ah, he's right though." Lloyd picked up the thread. "Come on guys, we're ninja. Don't tell me we're going to quit just because it's been a long day!"

"Yeah!" Jay shot him a grateful look. "I've seen this happening back on the TV set. By the end of a day of filming, everyone is dead beat; people can't make it two lines into their script without flubbing it, and everyone is like, 'this scene is impossible!' And then the next morning everyone comes back for a new start, and bam! You get it perfect on the first try."

"So what you're saying is, we should give up and try again tomorrow," said Nya.

"Arrrrgh." Jay ran a hand down his face. "Just . . . you get the point. Be inspired, or something!" He waved about abstractly.

Sighs all around.

"Okay, okay." Cole got to his feet. "I know, guys. Come on. Just a little longer."

Sparring went poorly. Technique overall was sloppy, and tempers were running ever-shorter.

"Match!" called Jay, striking what he thought was a decisive blow.

"No it's not, that was out of bounds," retorted Cole.

"Was not!"

"What are you, blind?"

"It was in-bounds!" Jay turned to Zane. "Come on, you've got the super Nindroid vision! Call it."

"Uhh—" Zane shook his head regretfully. "I was not watching."

Both ninja groaned. Then they traded glares.

"It was in-bounds," said Jay, folding his arms.

Meanwhile Kai, frustrated at losing three matches in a row, switched to training against the equipment. The catch was, Meep was hanging around on the training carousel Jay had just fixed, draped over the head of a plywood enemy.

"Hey, gerroff," grumbled Kai, making an impatient shooing motion. "We need that equipment."

" _Meeeeeble . . ._ " Meep only clamped himself more firmly to the top of the training dummy. Kai surveyed him wearily, then reached over and poked him with the handle of a katana.

"Shoo!"

" _Warroo!_ " Meep was looking ever-more displeased (maybe he was picking up on the atmosphere in the room), and his tentacles only wrapped more tightly around the head of the training dummy. Clearly he did not intend to be moved.

But on the other hand, Kai clearly intended to move him. The others stopped what they were doing, eyeing this battle of wills with interest. When poking didn't work, Kai tried to pry Meep's tentacles off one by one. That failed too; as soon as he let go of one to grab another, the first would snap back into place. At last, losing patience, he grasped hold of Meep's oblong body and tugged, intending to haul this clingy little creature off by hook or by crook.

This was the last straw. Meep gave an indignant yowl, coiled back, and spat a spray of thick black slime all down Kai's front. Kai yelped and fell backwards. The others froze—they'd all seen _Jurassic Park_.

After a tense second though, Kai gave an angry " _what_ the—" and sat up, clearing the stuff from his eyelids. Everyone relaxed, some of them stifling chuckles.

"You okay?" asked Jay.

"Fine," said Kai through his teeth. "Just _fine_."

"Intriguing. That must be a defensive mechanism—ink, like that of squids and octopuses," said Zane. "He must have been feeling threatened."

"I'll give him something to feel threatened about," muttered Kai, heading to the kitchen to get cleaned up. A few of the others trotted after him, eager for an excuse to get out of training for a bit. Meep, satisfied that he had proved his point, sprang off the training dummy as if he'd never much cared for it and circled Jay happily.

"Seriously. I've just about had enough of these freaking aliens," said Kai, skirting the washtub still shoved off to one side of the kitchen and going over to the sink. Mopp poked his eyes out of the water in the left basin and burbled peevishly. Kai, ignoring him, pulled the faucet over to the right basin and began washing the black sludge from his face.

"It's kinda cool, though," said Jay. "Who knew they could do that? They're even more like octopuses than we thought!"

"Yeah, well," muttered Kai into the sink. "They can go be like octopuses somewhere else."

"He was just defending himself, geez," said Jay. Meep, looking complacent, settled comfortably on his head. Kai turned around to retort, not noticing Mopp. The little alien was reaching a tentacle out of the water to grasp the extendable hose next to the main faucet—and Kai had made the mistake of leaving the water running. As soon as Mopp's grip tightened, the secondary faucet kicked in and sent a sluice of cold water down the back of Kai's neck. The fire ninja yelped and jumped away. Whirling around, he fixed Mopp with such a glower that the alien hastily ducked underwater.

"Why, you _little_ —"

Mopp stayed submerged, but one tentacle rose slowly out of the water—bearing the secondary faucet, which proceeded to squirt Kai in the face. The others shouted with laughter.

"Bad Mopp! No!" scolded Jay, struggling to sober up as he came over to help. "Let go of that."

Meep jumped off Jay's head just in time to dodge the shower that soaked the lightning ninja in turn.

"You see what I told you? These freaking aliens!" growled Kai. The struggle to disarm Mopp continued.

"What in heck is going on in here?" asked Cole, coming into the kitchen. "What's so funny? Kai, Jay, why are you—uhhh, Lloyd, _what_ are you doing up there?"

Lloyd, who had clambered onto the countertop to reach the top of the fridge, grinned and tossed something. Cole shut his eyes reflexively as a water balloon shattered against his forehead. Hair plastered down almost to his eyes, he blinked through the water dripping off his eyelashes, looking resigned.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"Now we're even!" sang Lloyd, hopping down from the countertop.

"Yeah?" said Cole darkly. "Well, how about—"

At this point Meep saw fit to dump a saucepan full of water atop Lloyd's head, and Mopp managed to soak both Kai and Jay simultaneously. The others looked at each other silently for a moment. Cole cracked a grin.

Five minutes later the kitchen was a bedlam of laughter and flying water. All the sponges and unbreakable containers were called into service, plus the basket of water balloons that'd been stored on top of the fridge. Lloyd was chasing Nya around the table (or maybe she was chasing him?), Cole was wrestling a surprisingly combative Zane for possession of a water balloon (which soon solved the situation by exploding in both their faces), Mopp was still manning the sink hose like a deranged firefighter, and Meep was tearing around the room dumping water on anyone who came handy. Kai attempted to tell Jay what he thought of all this, but broke down laughing in the middle of a sentence and wound up getting smacked in the nose by a wet sponge. Sensei Wu stood in the doorway and looked weary, while Misako peeked over his shoulder and hid a smile.

Finally Cole, chasing after Kai with a half-empty bucket, slipped and fell backwards into the washtub. In his rush to scramble upright the tub overturned and sent a tidal wave of water across the floor. Soon everyone was slipping and skidding helplessly, until finally they all ended up in a tangled, laughing, soaking-wet heap in the middle of the kitchen. Mopp pulled himself from the sink and Meep threw himself from the ceiling to join the pileup.

"That was awesome," gasped Lloyd, waving one hand in exhausted bliss. Even the disapproving cough of Sensei Wu couldn't dampen their spirits; they were still chuckling breathlessly as they began to sort themselves out and get to their feet.

"I think now would be a good time to clean up the kitchen," said Wu. "To be honest, I would have expected more maturity from most of you. Please take steps to prevent permanent water damage, if you can."

That said, he strode off, staff clicking against the floor. Misako shot the younger set a wink before following him.

"We're in trouble," said Kai glumly.

"Was totally worth it," parried Jay, rubbing Mopp's head.

"Heh. Yeah. Kinda was."

* * *

Still, after the kitchen had been mopped up, dried off, and set into order (a process that lasted well into the night), Cole hunted down Jay. He found the lightning ninja with teeth already brushed, perched on the lower bunk and petting a drowsy-looking Meep.

"Look, Jay—we need to talk."

Jay looked up grimly, knowing by his tone that nothing good was to come of this. Cole sighed.

"Jay, what happened tonight—we can't have that happening again. You've got to keep better control of those aliens."

"What're you blaming it on the aliens for?" asked Jay, already on the defensive.

"They started complete chaos, Jay."

"Oh, fine. You're gonna hold it against them now?" Jay gave him a betrayed look. "You were having fun too!"

"I—" Cole closed his mouth and sighed, a rueful smile flickering through in spite of himself. "Yeah. It was fun. But what if an emergency call came in just then? What if we had to get to our battle stations?"

"Don't look at me, look at Lloyd. He's the one who really started it," retorted Jay. From across the room Lloyd, waiting for his turn to brush his teeth, looked miffed at being thrown under the bus.

"Lloyd would know to stop goofing around if an emergency came up," said Cole. "Do you think your aliens would?"

"They'd calm down if I told them to," insisted Jay.

"Would they?" asked Cole, giving him a steady look. Jay shrugged and looked away, sulky.

"Fiiiiine. So I'll try to keep them in order a little more. They're smart, I can teach 'em what's what."

"Great. I know you can." Cole gave what he hoped was an encouraging smile and got a grudging nod in return. As he turned away to join the toothbrush queu, though, he heard a muffled insulting noise behind him.

"Real mature, Jay," he said, rolling his eyes.

"It wasn't me, it was Meep!" protested Jay. Cole rolled his eyes again, but at last sighed, turned back, and sat down next to the lightning ninja.

"Sure, blame it on the alien," he said, smiling wearily.

"I swear!" said Jay. "Come on Meep, do it again."

Meep tucked his tentacles in, looking uncooperative.

"Aw c'mon, don't leave me in the lurch!"

Meep rolled his mollusk eyes and grudgingly obliged, blowing a long raspberry. Despite his best efforts Cole laughed.

"Great," he said, with exaggerated irritation. "So you've trained them with a healthy disrespect of authority already."

"I did not train them," said Jay coolly. "I can't help it if they know what they think of you."

"Awh." Cole forced a chuckle, but to be honest that stung. The frequent reprise of "don't leave us!" wasn't completely lost on him; there were times that he hated being in charge. He hated it when he had to stop being the others' friend to be their leader, tell them things they didn't want to hear. Days like today, when he was caught between pushing the team's limits and cutting them some much-needed slack. Secretly he was always a little afraid that the uneasy balance would end someday and he would become nothing more than a begrudged authority figure, no longer accepted as their brother.

But if that day ever came, it wasn't today. Perhaps catching the flash of hurt in his friend's eyes, Jay swayed to bump his arm against Cole's, giving him a teasing smile.

"Like I said, they're _smart_."

Cole grinned and elbowed him back, then reached over to scratch between Meep's eyes. The little alien leaned into the attention and gave an approving burble, followed by another indignant raspberry when Cole stopped scratching. This time both ninja laughed.

Meanwhile, Lloyd was edging towards the alarm clock.

"Oi, hands off that thing," called Kai.

"Aww, come on. Just an extra hour?"

"Forget it." Kai burrowed under the covers, sighing comfortably. "I already gave it an extra two."

* * *

 **A/N: Hoosh, that was long. Have a last hurrah, guys; starting with the next chapter, the fluffies take a backseat and the soup's on. *Prepares large stewpot, eyeing Kai significantly***

 **In other topics, the bola (sometimes called bolo) is basically just two weights on a long string, if I understand correctly. Ranchers in Latin America would throw it to tie up cattle's legs.**

 **Oh, and Shleesh isn't real, by the way; we're kinda stuck with friction in the real world. Salmon are real, though. And octopuses. And the rare Northern Lloydfishes.**


	24. Nailed It

**Here we go! Nyeh heh heh. I've actually reached a part I was looking forward to about thirteen chapters ahead of here, so I'm writing hard and building up the reserves a little bit! We might get away without a hiatus for a while yet.**

 **Did you guys hear about Prince, though? So sad. He was one of my mom's favorite artists, and I liked a lot of his songs too. "When Doves Cry" is the best.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Well thanks, glad you think so! Eh, I guess I put a lot of time into this story, but I don't know how hard I work. XP I just write whatever's fun.**

 **mangamaker314: Hi again! Nah, I don't think he has a mullet; just imagine Lloyd's usual hair, but much more overgrown. XD As to Kai, can't tell you that one! He seems to be doing a pretty good job keeping himself dunk-free so far though, eh? And no specific ideas for Cole and cake as of now, but you never know; something might crop up. Thanks for the review!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: And allow me to point out that they're vastly superior to the Southern ones. The Southern ones are not nearly as hairy, and they are not huggable. XD**

 **walnut: Awwwwww! You're meltin' me here. X3 Thank you! Y'know, I'm kinda surprised that the show has never had Jay and Nya work together on any mechanical stuff. They're supposed to both love tinkering, so they totally have common ground there! Haha, you know, I didn't notice before you mentioned it, but I guess the aliens did pick up a bit more attitude over time. Hanging around with these ninja hooligans must have corrupted them. XD**

* * *

 **Sept 11**

 **12:16 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Kai's manipulations of the alarm clock were all in vain. They didn't even have a chance to start developing nightmares that night before a completely different alarm snapped them all awake.

"More aliens!" hollered Jay, falling on his head.

"No, that's the police pager!" Zane threw off his sheets, not noticing when they landed on his falcon. "There must be trouble in the city!"

Nobody but Kai noticed Lloyd surreptitiously prying out his mouthguard. Cole was already halfway out the door. The others skidded one by one to join him, disorganized but alert. Meep was throwing himself against the door of the control room, dying to get inside where the beautiful noise was coming from. Mopp could be heard wailing jealously from the kitchen. As soon as the door was opened, Meep hurled himself into the room and glomped onto the activated siren, where he stayed even after Nya shut it off. Jay tossed a blanket over him so the police wouldn't see him.

There was indeed a call coming from New Ninjago City's police headquarters. The ninja crowded around the mike eagerly.

"What's the trouble? Is it the Technicians? Are they attacking? Did you find them?"

"Not yet, but we might soon!" You could hear the grin in the police chief's voice. "We have a lead, boys. You know that truck driver that you identified as a Technician?"

"As a WHAT?!" exploded Kai. Nya, Jay, and Cole glanced at each other and all edged a little bit away from him.

"We've been keeping him under surveillance in the hospital," continued the police chief, not noticing the outburst. "And this morning he tried to escape—even though he's certainly not in any condition to. He got so worked-up that they had to give him a sedative, and when he fell asleep he started sleeptalking. Turns out there's supposed to be a Technician gang meeting tonight, and he was kind enough to mention the location!"

"What? That's awesome! Why didn't you tell us sooner?" said Cole.

"Ahh, well, we worried it might be just random babbling, or even a trap. Didn't want to drag you into it until we had better evidence," said the chief sheepishly.

"And now you do?"

"Yep. We've been keeping an eye on the alleged meeting place—this office building downtown—and my officers have definitely picked up some shady-looking activity just now. People have been drifting into the building by ones and twos for a couple of hours now, and nobody's coming out. Kinda late at night to be catching up on extra office work, no?"

"Yeah!" The ninja traded excited glances.

"So, you boys want to come help us out?"

"Do we ever!"

"Great. If you could split up before you get here . . . "

While Cole and the police chief quickly worked out the plan of action, Kai dragged Jay aside.

" _What_ is this I'm hearing? Technician?" he hissed. "What do I not know?"

"Uh . . . " Jay gulped.

"This guy was trying to freaking murder my sister, and you don't even tell me?!"

"You were flipping out badly enough as it was." Nya stepped in. "We figured it wasn't something you needed to know."

"Not something I needed to—"

"Kaiiiiii." Nya ushered him back a few steps, getting him a safe distance away from Jay. "Breathe."

"Breathe?! You were almost—"

Cole had finished with the briefing, and the others were already swarming out of the room to gear up. Jay hastened to join them. Glancing over his shoulder, he glimpsed Nya with her hands on Kai's arms, speaking earnestly in a low tone. Probably she was telling him something like she'd told Jay in the kitchen last night.

In the hallway Jay nearly tripped over Mopp. The alien had apparently dragged himself out of the sink and out of the kitchen in search of the glorious siren and excitement.

"Back in the sink, squirt!" said Jay hurriedly. He dropped Mopp off and skidded to the armory. A few minutes later Kai loped in too. He looked subdued, but he was definitely breathing.

"You gonna be okay?" asked Cole.

"I'm good, I'm good," said Kai. He shook his head hard and brought himself more fully into the present moment, smiling wanly. Whatever Nya had told him had apparently thrown in him for a loop. Jay tossed him a weapons holster and a sympathetic look, and Kai nodded in return and began to gear up. The eager anticipation sizzling through the room caught up to him quickly, and soon he looked just as excited as everyone else.

* * *

"Okay!" Cole shouted once they were en route. "We'll approach the building from five different sides and converge on the most likely entrance. We'll have to land our dragons and approach from a distance to avoid being seen." He looked around. "It's gonna have to be a _long_ distance."

The wingspan, brightness, and general mojo of an elemental dragon depended on the rider's level of arousal. Right now they looked like a squadron of fluorescent jumbo jets.

Soon they split up to take their positions. Jay was posted to the north-northwest of the office building in question. He slotted his dragon neatly between two buildings and let it disintegrate, landing lightly on his feet. Then he set off at a rapid patter, zigzagging through streets and alleyways towards his target. Every nerve inside him seemed exquisitely tuned for this moment.

The office was surrounded by a lot of alleys. No doubt that was helpful to the Technicians, but hey, it was helpful to ninja too. Finding an alley leading towards the building, Jay winged a quick salute to a police cruiser lurking nearby, pulled on his hood, and melted into the shadows.

He met no one. Several times his quivering senses picked up muffled footfalls or conversation—possibly from inside the building, even—but there was never anyone he could track down.

At the corner he spotted a slight wrinkle in the darkness. Jay clicked his tongue softly to announce his presence, and the darkness shifted closer and melted into Lloyd.

"Seen anyone?" he whispered.

"Not a soul. I hear them, though."

"Me too. You think they can hear us?"

"Nah."

Lloyd pushed off his mask, then made an annoyed sound as his hair flopped down over his forehead.

"It's going to be the death of you," Jay whispered as Lloyd tried to undo the chaos his hood had created. The green ninja grumbled indistinctly in his direction.

Loping farther down the alley, they reached a dimly-lit corner. Another alley intersected here, leading along another side of the office building. Presently the sound of a dog barking started in the distance, and Jay and Lloyd both pricked their ears. Sure enough, it followed the distinctive _yip yip, arroo! Yip yip!_ pattern meaning "disclose your location."

Yeah, they communicated through dog barks in the city. Wrist communicators are all well and good when you have verbal information to share, but just _try_ describing to someone which particular tree you're hiding in or which building you're perched atop—especially when you have to whisper the whole thing through a rustly radio connection. Way too risky.

Lloyd cupped his hands around his mouth and gave the answering _arrooooooooooo, bark bark!_ call. Then he looked quizzically over his shoulder to Jay, who had just collapsed into silent snickers.

"You look like a sheepdog!" he managed. Lloyd raised his eyes heavenwards.

"We're going to have to come up with a new signaling system soon," he whispered. "Animal control has been doing a great job, there aren't too many stray dogs wandering the streets anymore."

"You think _that's_ a problem?" Jay whispered back. "Zane says barn owls are going to go extinct soon, the way things are going. What'll we use in the country?"

"Ugh, I'll be glad when _that_ call's retired. It makes my throat hurt."

"Hey! I can hear you clowns from four stories up!" hissed a third voice.

"Shhhhhh!" Jay and Lloyd both whispered fiercely. Kai dropped softly down next to them, shaking his head.

"Is this a mission or a tea party? Focus, you guys!"

"You focus!" retorted Jay.

Suddenly Lloyd's communicator vibrated, and he hastily answered.

"I have found a back window which I believe would be the ideal entry point," Zane's soft voice filtered through. "I would have signaled through the bark system, but I think my voice would echo."

"Good call. They might take notice of robodogs," Cole came through on the other line, his voice tinged with anticipation. "Okay boys, assemble in back with Zane. You ready to crash this little party?"

"Heck yeah." Kai smirked. "I'm only, like, the world's top authority on party-crashing."

"Never got invited to any, huh?" said Cole.

Kai blinked.

"Oooh, he got you," snickered Jay. Kai chuckled in concession and pulled his mask over his face.

"Let's say I got invited to a ton of 'em, but turned down the invitations just so I could crash them later."

"Yeah, let's go with that." Cole sounded amused.

They assembled by the back window, which led into a little supply room off the building's main lobby. As per agreement, the ninja would go in and see what they could discover by sneaking around first. If they got caught or found there wasn't much to learn, the police would come barging in for support. Cole had a police walkie-talkie jammed into his belt for that purpose.

"Okay, game time!" Jay jimmied the lock on the window, zapped the security system before it could go off, and slipped into the supply room. One by one the others slid after him. Cole pressed his ear to the door.

"Sounds like nobody's in the lobby," he whispered, his voice no louder than a breath. "Let's go."

Holding up one hand for the others to wait, he slowly turned the knob, easing the door open. He poked his head out and looked around. The building was structured like the main room at Chen's palace, with an open center and balconies all around the edges. Hopefully the Technicians weren't looking down into the lobby.

After a moment Cole shrugged and slipped out, quickly ducking under one of the overhanging balconies. The others followed swiftly. Jay crowded in next to Kai behind a stand of decorative potted plants, peering around the darkened lobby. The slick marble floor looked cold in the dim light, and the reception desk and scattered furniture seemed almost to loom threateningly. A gigantic spiraling staircase sprouted from the center of the lobby, branching off "bridges" to each floor. Typical fancy office space.

The ninja kept their breathing down; at any moment, a security camera might spot them. Or a patrolling security guard, friendly to the Technicians, might track them down.

Ninja-ing was a _rush._

"There." Zane had been circling cautiously about under the balconies, but now he was pointing way up to the fourth floor, his eyes fixed on one particular room. "I see a light, and hear voices."

"That's just the angels coming for you, Zane," Jay whispered. He couldn't resist. It was just too easy to take out of context, especially with Zane gazing skywards. Lloyd muffled a sneeze of laughter.

"Keep it together, guys," said Cole, though he sounded amused too. "Funny, Zaptrap. Save your breath for all those stairs."

"Uhh—You think they'd notice if we took the elevator?" said Jay, pointing across the lobby. Cole smacked the back of his head playfully, already pattering towards the spiraling central staircase.

"Well, okay then!" Jay shrugged and followed the others. "So you guys aren't into skipping leg day."

They loped softly up the four stories of stairs, slowing as they reached their destination. One of the conference rooms was indeed occupied, light shining from under the door and rough voices drifting from within.

"Sounds like a pretty grumpy collection of angels," muttered Kai. Cole motioned for them to get into a ready formation.

For a while they listened to the conversation. Something clicked softly in Zane's head as he began recording. Pretty soon though, it became evident that they were too late—the meeting was just in the process of wrapping up. There went any hope of finding out secret info . . .

There were some growls of "all right, that's it then," and a general shuffle towards the door began. The ninja all tensed, preparing. Smiles of grim anticipation flickered across a few faces. In this moment, none of them remembered yesterday's disastrous training sessions, how tired and hopeless they'd all felt less than twelve hours ago; battle fever left no room for doubts.

The double doors to the conference room swung open, bathing the balcony in light. The ninja were caught square in the middle of it, and the Technicians in the doorway froze, staring at them. Cole flicked out his scythe.

"Evening, gentlemen."

All Valhalla broke out. The Technicians, both human and Serpentine, outnumbered the ninja by a ridiculous proportion—but only a few of them could fit into the doorway at once. The ninja, taking advantage of this, plowed grimly forward into the sudden surge of angry bodies, hoping to keep them penned up in the conference room.

"Seriously Cole, how cliche can you get?!" shouted Lloyd over the roar of enemies, busily whacking away.

"Okay, next time _you_ come up with the greeting!" Cole shouted back.

"I will!" retorted Lloyd. He ducked a pair of metal knuckles and kicked their owner backwards. The guy, a short stocky snake, blinked woozily up at Lloyd for a second.

"HEY!" he bellowed suddenly, pointing. "It's _you!_ "

A whole bunch of heads turned his way, and several Technicians saw Lloyd and gave angry howls.

"It's the brat who got away from us in Snow Dragon!"

Nearby, Jay dropped out of his Spinjitzu tornado, hands on hips.

"Ohhhh," he said. "So that was _you_ guys?"

Those Technicians didn't do themselves any favors.

Chaos reigned for quite a while. Despite the ninjas' efforts to keep the Technicians in the conference room, the fight soon spilled out onto the balcony, spreading all over the level. Cole was fighting with one hand and shouting over the walkie-talkie with the other, while Zane guarded his back. Several of the Technicians had gathered in front of a different room as if to guard it, and Kai was bearing down on them in a whirling funnel of fire. Jay was still pinballing around the conference room, flinging overturned chairs at fleeing Technicians.

Stopping for a moment to get his bearings, he saw Lloyd out on the balcony, being swarmed by a seething mass of opponents.

"Woah, Lloyd!" he shouted, dashing over to assist.

"I'm really popular today!" Lloyd joked. Only the tightness of his smile showed just how hard he was being pressed at the moment. Also, his mouth was bleeding.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just bit my lip. For some reason everyone wants to punch me in the mouth around here."

"Weird." Jay flung two handfuls of electricity at the nearest Technicians and looked around for his teammates. Cole and Zane had gone over to help Kai fight the guys guarding that other room, and the police were probably still battering at the doors outside, so it looked like it was going to be just Lloyd and him for now.

They tussled grimly onwards, aware that more and more Technicians were disappearing by the moment. The few remaining opponents faught all the more viciously; soon it was down to just two Technicians, a female snake fighting Lloyd and a human guy fighting Jay.

"They must know all the emergency exits! We're losing them!" growled Jay, by now grappling hand-to-hand with his opponent on the floor.

"Maybe the police will catch them on their way out!" Lloyd called back, then yelped. The moment of distraction had cost him; the Hypnobrai he was fighting slammed him back against the wall.

"Hey, not so fast!" snapped the green ninja, grasping the Serpentine's broad flaring hood to hold her off. The snake hissed furiously, her red eyes locked on Lloyd's. Mesmerizingly her swirled irises began to shimmer, coaxing, leaning slowly closer, trying to worm into his brain. With a gasp Lloyd clapped one hand over the snake's eyes, blocking the hypnotic effect.

"Nice try!"

The Hypnobrai stood oddly still for a moment. Then her long forked tongue swished out in a hiss, flickering across Lloyd's face.

"Wh-what the— _eww!_ " A stunned Lloyd let go of his opponent. She tore off down the balcony, heading for the stairs. Lloyd tried to follow, but just at that moment Jay's rival managed to throw him. The blue ninja tumbled straight into Lloyd, and they went down in a tangle of limbs. With furious energy they struggled to untangle themselves.

"She _licked_ me!" sputtered Lloyd. Jay gave a whoop of laughter.

"It's not funny," said Lloyd, though he was already chuckling himself. He and Jay both scrabbled to their feet and took off as fast as they could towards the stairs, hoping to catch up to their fleeing opponents. A strange whooshing sound seemed to be coming from several floors below, something like a fire extinguisher.

"The stairs!" yelped Lloyd suddenly. Ahead of them the floor glinted with a slickery shine; clearly the Technicians had doused the stairs in Shleesh behind them as they went down.

The ninja were going too fast to reliably stop. Without so much as glancing at each other, they both whooped "Ninjaaa, GO!" and jumped, landing on the stair railings instead of the steps. Gravity and momentum took over, allowing them to grind-rail all the way down the spiraling balustrade. Jay whooped; he was barely keeping his balance and could expect major friction burns on the soles of his feet, but the ride was exhileratingly fast.

They both launched straight into Spinjitzu tornados as soon as they reached the bottom, striking the floor already spinning. Then it turned out that the Technicians had also sprayed Shleesh onto the entire lobby floor, and that Spinjitzu went absolutely _wild_ on a friction-free surface.

"Jay!" shouted Lloyd, ricocheting off the wall. "Get them!"

"I'm getting, I'm getting!"

The Technicians were already by the door. Lloyd and Jay, despite having almost no control over their spinning (and speeding up by the second) somehow managed to suck in a Technician each. They pinballed wildly for a moment, and succeeded in knocking over every potted plant in the lobby, overturning every armchair, and utterly demolishing the reception desk—but at last they bumped into each other, flinging the two Technicians to the ground and leaving them stranded where the floor was slipperiest.

The ninja themselves were hurled violently out of their Spinjitzu funnels, tumbling and sliding in opposite directions until they crashed against the wall, incredibly dizzy and thoroughly ecstatic.

"WoooooooHOOOOOO!" cheered Jay, throwing his fists over his head. "Forget training! We're awesome!"

Lloyd flopped back, laughing breathlessly. Meanwhile the two Technicians were still trying to get away, but without the special Shleesh shoes they weren't able to get anywhere. Regular motion is impossible without friction.

"Hey, hey, not one move!" Jay, still sprawled on his back, shook his nunchucks in their direction. "You stay right there and taste the fruit of your own villainy! The slippery, villainous fruit!"

"You make no sense," chortled Lloyd.

"What kind of a party are you guys having down there?" Cole's voice echoed from four floors up. "Just thought you should know, while you were messing around, we found a massive stash of stolen electronics up here! That's what those guys were guarding!"

"Did you catch any of 'em?" Jay shouted up.

"Ahhh, no. They all got away," said Cole grudgingly.

"Well, we caught two!" Lloyd pulled out his kusarigama and swung the chain around his head, tossing it to wrap around the railing of the second-floor balcony. Hanging onto the chain for balance, he managed to haul himself to his feet.

"And hey, tell the police not to come in here, Cole! It's gonna be crazy enough just getting _ourselves_ out."

* * *

Admittedly it wasn't a perfect sweep, not by a long shot: almost all the Technicians had gotten away, ducking off down alleyways, climbing up fire escapes, maybe dropping down sewer holes or into the secret tunnels somewhere. Those few Technicians that the police had managed to apprehend on their way out of the building had proved to have plenty of fancy tricks—in the end the police had only managed to catch one.

Still, the ninja were in pretty good moods. Compared to their training, this had turned out incredibly well.

"Smug, aren't you?" said the police chief, grinning ruefully. There was a little friendly competition between the two branches of Ninjago City defense, and admittedly the ninja had done way better this time.

"Eh, we had a better of idea of what to expect," said Cole graciously. "You guys weren't so bad; we're just glad nobody got hurt."

"Be glad we're covering for your collateral damage, too," snorted the police chief. "Considering what you did to the fourth floor and the lobby, you'd be going to jail longer than the Technicians if we weren't."

Cole laughed sheepishly.

"Uh, heh, yeah . . . Kinda strong stuff, Spinjitzu. It works, though!"

In the background there was a crash. Now that the crisis was resolved, Jay, Lloyd, and Zane were goofing around on the frictionless lobby floor, swinging each other in circles and taking running slides. Zane had just plowed into the remains of the reception desk.

The police chief raised an eyebrow at Cole. The earth ninja chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'll, uh . . . see if I can reel them in."

"Okay, bud." Chuckling, the chief turned away. "Oh, and hey, let us know if you find some method of removing that Slushy-whatsit stuff from floors. We want to return those stolen electronics to their owners, but we can't get them back if we can't make it to the _stairs_."

"Will do," said Cole. He went to the lobby and edged carefully to the border of the glossy Shleesh surface, then jumped aside just in time to avoid being run over by Jay. The lightning ninja hit non-slippery floor at high speeds and went sprawling.

"Oh hi!" he said cheerfully, rolling over to grin up at Cole. "Join in!"

"You guys, come on." Cole sighed. "Can't we all pretend to be responsible adults for _one_ night?"

"Oh no. Not _this._ " Jay covered his eyes overdramatically. "Don't leave us, man!"

"Don't leave us!" called Lloyd from the other end of the lobby.

"This has nothing to do with me leaving," grumbled Cole. "You know we can't go looking like total clowns in front of the police force all the time. They're not going to take us seriously!"

"Fine, fine, okay already," sighed Jay, holding up his hands. "Geeeeez. You'd think they'd be impressed enough with how AWESOME we were tonight. Outnumbered twenty to one at least, and we set 'em all on the run, caught three, stole back their loot right from under their noses, _and_ made sure they'll never use this place for their meetings again!"

Cole had to chuckle.

"Okay, okay, so we did do pretty good. Nice work, guys."

Jay gave a satisfied "hmph!" and settled back on his hands. After a moment he glanced to Cole and nodded at the lobby.

"Sure you don't want to try at least _one_ slide?"

Cole shook his head, smiling.

"Come on, just _one_ ," agreed Lloyd, managing to glide over and join them. "To the opposite wall and back."

"Mmm . . . " Cole hesitated for a moment. Before he could make up his mind, Zane finally disentangled himself from the reception desk.

"You guys," the Nindroid said, looking around. "Where is Kai?"

* * *

 **A/N: Ah, blast me, another long chapter. My concision sucks. XD**

 **Just of note, I thought I'd list out the secondary weapons the ninja generally carry on missions. Some of these are important later, and I don't want it to look like they just pull out whatever they need whenever. Most are based on what they have tucked in their belts in Season 5.**

 **Kai: Dagger**

 **Cole: Dagger**

 **Lloyd: Dagger if alone, kusarigama if Cole or Kai is accompanying (we know for fact he can use a kusarigama, from the start of Season 4)**

 **Jay: Shurikens (not sure if he can throw them, but he does carry them)**

 **Zane: What appears to be a pair of strange single-edged knives. I'd appreciate any insight anyone could give on that one.**

 **Nya: She'll use whatever she gets her hands on. Some of her favorites include twin katanas, a blowpipe, a fan, and anything you can throw.**


	25. When the Beat Drops I'm Like

**Whoop de do! Let's see, there was that one conversation about Kai's past back in . . . *checks* . . . Chapter 12. Time to follow up!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: He's just leavin' and leavin'. T_T Heh, well, Cole and Lloyd's roles seem to shift in the show sometimes, but I like to stick with the "boisterous but capable leader" Cole from earlier seasons and give Lloyd a chance to be the baby of the family a little longer. He's still quite competent if you get on his bad side, though. As to Kai, who knows? That maniac's always trying to pull something. :P**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Could be! You never know**.

 **walnut: Awh, thanks! Updates are every Tuesday, if that helps. ^_^'' Heh, I can't take much credit for the weapons** — **the Season 5 costume designers chose 'em! The black Vengestone suits really do have those weapons tucked into the belts. :) No worries, Shleesh is a pretty weird name** — **I just based it off the Polish word for "slippery." :P It would be pretty fun to have around in real life though, doncha think? Great on doorknobs. XD**

 **Lydia: Well thanks, glad you didn't mind. :) Yeah, I guess I've seen longer chapters too, but I'm not really a fan of those. They can get to be a drag to read. I know some people do like 'em, though!**

 **Eris: Heh; he mighta just walked out on his own two legs, ya know. Have a little faith in the fireball. ;)**

* * *

 **Sept 11**

 **2:58 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai MIA**

* * *

Kai was in a considerably less bubbly mood. When he'd seen that the Technicians were escaping, he'd locked onto one and followed him relentlessly, down the fire escape, out of the building, through the twisting alleyways surrounding it. The guy was quick and agile, but Kai was like a shark on a bloodtrail. As the chase continued in circles and zigzags, he only drew closer.

At last the guy skidded up to a side door in a dilapidated abandoned building. He tried to open it, but it was stuck; cursing, he rattled the knob frantically, sneaking a look around. No sign of his pursuer yet . . .

Kai dropped down next to him.

"Boo."

One blow, and the guy was flat on his back. Kai pinned him, dagger at the ready.

"Talk fast," he hissed. "I want some answers about this Technicians business."

The man struggled and spat, but Kai didn't flinch.

"I know a few things," he said, holding the dagger's edge to the man's throat just hard enough for it to feel sharp and cold. "All I need are a few extra facts. Talk now, and I _might_ not hurt you."

Not that he actually would, and not that he actually _did_ know very much, but he didn't expect skepticism from this guy just now.

Just then a sharp _crack!_ rang out through the alleyway. Kai felt a searing pain go through his dagger arm, then something suddenly pulled him back, dragging him right off his opponent. His gaze jumped to his arm—there was a long, narrow strip of leather wrapped tightly around it. Kai's eyes widened as he followed the strap back to a carved handle. There were not too many people out there good with a whip . . .

Sure enough, at the other end stood Nash, grinning darkly.

"Beat it, Rinker," he grated. The Technician Kai had been fighting scrambled to his feet, gave Kai a hiss as Serpentine as any Serpentine, and vanished into the battered building. Meanwhile Nash twitched the handle of the whip, allowing it to uncoil from Kai's arm. He was carrying a lumpy duffel bag over his shoulder, but he tossed it aside now, clearly preparing for a brawl.

Kai only had eyes for the snake now. Nash hadn't changed much. A new scar or two, maybe. But still green and dark-green, slightly taller than the average snake, muscled a little more like a Constrictai than his native species. And a swift death to anyone who suggested that he was a mutt. The protruding bone spikes on his lower jaw were still filed down to make him look sleeker; the sharp alligator ridges still bristled above his three gleaming yellow eyes. His fourth was still scarred shut.

His right front fang was still chipped, too. And if Kai could be sure of one thing, both fangs were still oozing with poison, accustomed to dealing out death.

"Nash." Kai got up, dragging one sleeve under his chin. "Couldn't find a nasty enough hole to die in?"

"Wow." Nash snorted. "I wasn't expecting a warm reunion, but that'ssss a bit much."

And he still talked weird too. Or rather, he notably _didn't_ talk weird. You never realized how antiquated Serpentine speech patterns were until you met a snake who talked like your average human hood. Only with hissing.

"So, Red Shogun. You and your team of idiotsss managed to route us tonight," continued Nash, as Kai unsheathed his katana and dropped into a warning stance. "Impressssive. Somewhat. But you do realize, any electronics you found were only a tiny fraction of what we currently have?" His eyes narrowed. "And you're still going to pay in blood for them, someday."

"What do you even want with them?" growled Kai. "You were never the type to stick to petty theft. What, you decided you were too good for the slobber business?"

"I could ask you the sssssame thing," grinned Nash. The long whip suddenly flickered towards Kai, giving a sharp _snap!_ as the metal-capped tip came down. The fire ninja leaped nimbly aside, then lifted his katana and lunged. Nash ducked Kai's slashing blade and flicked out his whip again. For a moment they circled each other, sinuous leather and flashing steel dancing between them. Neither could score a hit.

"Clever job finding us, though," remarked Nash. "So who sssquealed on us?"

He drove the butt of the whip handle at Kai's head. Kai ducked and swung, aiming to slice the strap off. Instead he took a chunk out of the handle.

"Awh, you have no faith in us," he snarked. "Didn't think we have the brains to figure it out all by ourselves?"

"Frankly?" The whip whirred by Kai's shoulder and bit a fragment out of the wall behind him. "No."

Finally Nash swung low, and Kai jumped a little too slowly. The whip coiled around his ankle and pulled, sending him sprawling. Snarling he scrambled to his feet, prepared to deal out retribution—but Nash took that moment to reach into the duffel bag he had discarded. As Kai put out one hand for balance, Nash threw, and something flashed through the air. A sharp slash struck at Kai's sword arm, yanking it back, and he felt something heavy graze the side of his head. The bola, he realized. But it'd only caught one arm! No harm done, he wasn't bound.

But before he could recover, Nash stepped up and planted one foot on Kai's other hand, grinding it into the tarmac. Kai gasped and struck out with his katana, but Nash grabbed his wrist mid-swing, wrenched it back, and forced the blade from Kai's loosening fingers. Then he fetched him a kick in the stomach, sending him crashing back against a wall.

Kai felt the air jolt out of his lungs all at once. His head smacked against the unforgiving brick. For a second the world darkened and spun.

When everything came back into focus, he was just in time to see Nash bind his wrists deftly together with the bola, tug them painfully above his head, and slam the weights at the ends of the device against the wall. Something crunched, and even when Nash stepped back the tension on Kai's arms stayed. There must have been some kind of gripping device in the bola weights that could fasten them to brick.

"Ssssorry if that was a bit rough," smirked Nash. "You drove me to it."

"Why are you doing this?" Kai glowered, tugging at his restraints. "What do you even want with all those electronics?"

Nash chuckled. He'd never been one to let too much information slip.

"Oh, being a Technician is only a side job, a bit of a vacation," he said. "I plan to go right back to the honorable sssscale juice trade when all this is over." He tilted his head, smiling condescendingly. "We always need some more mules. When are _you_ coming back to us?"

"Never!" snapped Kai, looking away. Too many unpleasant memories were coming back all at once, and the foreign sensation of being trapped and helpless wasn't improving matters. "I never wanted any part of the business, you know that. I could do with never seeing any of you creeps again."

"Awww. An' you'd just walk away from us all?" Nash wrapped his whip around one wrist absent-mindedly. "Away from old Fang, and Morty, and Jones and Meezlum and Pug?"

"Wh . . . what makes you think I'd care?" said Kai. "All but two of those are dead anyway."

"From their memories, then." said Nash, waving as if it were all the same either way. "And don't be naïve. Two is . . . eh, let's sssay overoptimistic."

Kai's head snapped up.

"No."

"Yeah." Nash shrugged. "They got rebelliousss. Questioned a few too many orders, ya know?"

"You . . . sick . . . " Kai's eyes blazed.

"Come on, what did you expect?" said Nash. "You knew them yourself, you saw they were little rebels in the making. Essspecially Pug. It's amazing he lasted as long as he did."

"You could have just let them go!" Kai dug his fingers into the brick behind him as he struggled to keep his voice from cracking. "You could have dismissed them!"

"Ahh, you know it doesn't work that way . . . " Nash tilted Kai's chin back to look him in the eye. His acidic breath brushed the ninja's forehead as he lowered his voice. "C'mon, did you think that anyone could just _leave?_ Nobody _leaves_ this trade, not alive they don't. Not them. Not me. And no, not you."

"Forget it," gritted Kai, shaking away the scaly finger tucked under his jaw. "Just try me. I'm not getting mixed up in your dealings ever again, Nash. I'm clean and I'm going to stay that way. I owe it to my family."

"Fanssssy words!" Nash rolled his eyes. "Your family is the exact reason you _would_ do exsssactly what I tell you, as long as I . . . pulled the right sstrings, I think you humans say?"

"Try me," snapped Kai again. Nash gave a lopsided smirk.

"Believe me. I will."

He reached over and brushed the damp, scruffy hair away from Kai's forehead. There was something all too purposeful about the way he did it . . . Against his own will Kai began to thrash against his restraints, his breath rattling in panic. Red-spattered images flashed into his mind, people, Serpentine, lying in pools of their own blood and dissolved brains, melted eyeballs dripping from sockets—

"Woah, eassssy." Nash gave a short laugh. "I'm not going to bite you . . . "

He drew back and reached inside the duffel bag, producing something that gleamed metallic and plastic. There was a soft click, and Kai's eyes went wide.

* * *

The others had been looking for Kai for quite a while now. Jay was loping down an alleyway when he heard shuffling and scraping. Peering cautiously around a corner, he stopped in shock. Kai was slouched against a wall, his arms pinned back with a tangled set of cords, his fists engulfed in flame as he tried to burn his way free.

"Woah, Kai! There you are! Are you okay? Give us a warning next time, geez! We've been looking for you all over!" Jay approached. "Mannn, what happened to you? Lemme get you out of there."

"Do me a favor and kill that bat first," said Kai.

"Wh—what?" Jay followed Kai's gaze and saw a strange crossbow-like object lying on the ground. He stepped closer, squinting, then started back when something within the device suddenly _moved_. Eyes wide, he drew near again, only to see a small brown furry form thrashing at the center of the construct, its wings pinned wide.

"But . . . " he stuttered.

"It's rabid," said Kai. "It's going to die soon enough anyway; put it out of its misery."

"Rabid?" Jay crouched down to look closer and realized the bat was frothing at the mouth, long strands of saliva trailing from its fangs. It lifted its ugly snout, snarling, slobbering, its dark, crazed eyes roving over Jay's face. A sudden wash of horror overtook him, and he hastily pulled out a shuriken and slit the creature's throat.

"Thanks," said Kai. Jay turned around, opening his mouth to ask what the _heck_ all this was—then froze when he saw a dribble of blood slinking down Kai's forehead. Suddenly he realized what the Technicians' "bite applicator" was.

"Oh crud," he whispered, dropping to his knees next to Kai and brushing back his hair, revealing two jagged, oozing tooth holes. "Oh wow. Oh man. We need to get you a rabies shot. Like now. Hold still, I'll get you loose."

"No big rush," grunted Kai. "It's not like rabies kicks in after five minutes."

Jay looked up to reply, then started when he saw that Kai had tears in his eyes.

"Kai? . . . "

"Just cut me loose." Kai didn't look up. Now this was on-par with witnessing paranormal activity; Kai didn't cry, period. Jay swallowed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Kai gritted. Jay shook his head helplessly, but began to work away with his shuriken edge. Kai glowered across the alleyway, his jaw tight.

"There were these two twins in the slobber-trading business," he rasped at last, without prompting. "Jinty and Pug. Way too young. They weren't cut out for the job, but it was all they knew—all their dad had raised 'em for."

"Yeah?" said Jay cautiously, still sawing away.

"Yeah." Kai gave a snort, lowering his head. "Should've known Pug would do something stupid. He was only a kid . . . "

There was something so raw and aching and _furious_ in his voice that Jay didn't dare ask. He finally worked his shuriken all the way through one of the binder strands. The second Kai's hand swung free he brought it up to scrub roughly over either eye. He shook his other hand loose as soon as possible and stood up brusquely, clearing his throat.

"Okay." He stretched out the muscles that had been strained the wrong way for too long. "Let's go."

"Are you . . . gonna be okay?" ventured Jay.

"I'm great," said Kai, already setting out. Jay grimaced, but followed without question. He knew better than to press for answers.

"Thanks a lot," said Kai over his shoulder. "Looks like I'll be telling the others about Nash myself."

* * *

It was grimly silent in the waiting room of the 24-hour clinic. Wu and Nya had joined the others, but nobody had much to say. Kai was in the back somewhere receiving his rabies shot.

"How does this even work?" said Cole at last. "This bite applicator thing. Anyone would know to get a shot after something like this happened, so it's not like it actually hurts anyone. Why would they even use it?"

"Because it's frightening," said Zane quietly. "Being bitten by a rabid animal, thinking about what would happen if you didn't get treatment, wondering if the shot will work—it spreads fear. It is a mind game."

"We're dealing with some twisted people," sighed Nya.

"Don't say that! You're giving them what they want," protested Lloyd.

Meanwhile Jay had been fidgeting in his chair, chewing his lip. If _ever_ there was a time to bring up Nash, it was now. He could still spare Kai the worst of the reveal, if he talked fast.

"You guys?" he said at last. "About this guy who was fighting Kai . . . "

"Yeah?" Everyone turned to Jay.

"Well, uh . . . " Jay gulped. Words always came easily to him—except at times like now, when he really needed them. "I think it was this Serpentine called Nash. Kai knows him from before."

"Kai knew a Serpentine?" Cole tilted his head. "He doesn't like them very much."

"Uhm, w-well, yeah," stammered Jay. "A-apparently, you can use Venomari spit as, like . . . some kind of hallucinogenic drug. Annnnd apparently this Nash guy was a boss in a ring of people selling this . . . stuff."

" _Kai took drugs?!_ " Nya all but screeched.

"I-I dunno, I—" Jay backed away a little. He'd expected consternation from the others, but he still hadn't quite been prepared for the horrified looks most of them were giving him.

"He didn't _take_ them." Lloyd's voice cut through the rising hubbub. Now everyone turned to him. "He was a middleman who held onto the stuff sometimes, when the main dealers needed to hide it."

"Kai is a _drug dealer?!_ "

"Was, not is." Lloyd was starting to sound embattled. "And he wasn't a _dealer._ He didn't buy or sell or trade or obtain or process the stuff. Just . . . hid it, sometimes."

"And that's any better? Oh my god," groaned Nya, covering her eyes and sliding down in her chair. "I should've known! I knew he couldn't have been making that much money from the slither pit. I knew it. Dear FSM. Drug trafficking . . . "

"That clears up a lot, though," said Jay, looking a little shellshocked himself. "All this time I thought he'd been taking the stuff. I was wondering how he wasn't having any problems, since he said it was so addictive . . . "

Nobody said anything. The others looked majorly unsettled. Lloyd shook his head, plucking up his courage.

"I know, it creeped me out too when he first told me. And he's not proud of it, I can tell you that much. But Nya, he did it for you. He couldn't have supported the two of you with just the slither pit money."

"We'd have managed! I was working too! And he couldn't have taken any other job? He couldn't have at least _told_ me before he dug himself into that business?!" snapped Nya. "All that honor he pledged himself to! The whole ninja code! To heck with all that? Really?" She slid further down in the chair with a despairing groan. Jay patted her arm timidly.

"I gotta agree there," said Cole heavily. "That's . . . man. I knew Kai was a hothead, but I thought he could stay out of _real_ trouble."

"Look," said Lloyd. "I know he's got to face the music. And I understand if you guys don't like what he's done. It's up to each of you to figure out how you're going to take this. But I know that, even if I don't like the choices he makes sometimes, Kai's still my brother. He's still one of us. And—and I'm gonna stick by him." He squared his shoulders defiantly, preparing for the worst. Some silence.

"Lloyd is right," said Zane, speaking for the first time. "We cannot turn our backs on our brother because of one mistake. We should at least hear him out first—I am sure he must be on the straight path now."

A few nods; some softening expressions. Lloyd shot Zane a look full of gratitude.

Another heavy silence. Cole shifted.

"So, this Nash guy?" he said. "What are we up against?"

"I dunno," said Jay. "Kai says he was a really nasty operator. I . . . I think he killed a guy. Some kid named Pug."

"Killed _several_ guys," said a jaded voice from the door. The others looked up. Kai was standing in the doorway.

"I went through all that, and they don't even give me a sticker for being a good patient," he joked half-heartedly. He looked at each of his teammates, waiting for judgment. They in turn snuck glances at each other, not sure how to react, or how to even look at Kai now. The silence grew painful.

"Perhaps we should go home," said Wu gently. "Kai, you can tell us anything we need to know when we get there."

* * *

 **A/N: Well. Mood whiplash, much? About time this schmoe made an appearance, though.**

 **The scene introducing Nash went through a lot of reworking. I hope it wasn't too vague? When you know the whole backstory, it can be kinda hard to give just enough hints without giving too much away either.**

 **Nash basically looks like Lizaru, only with the above-mentioned alterations. There's a link to a pic of Lizaru on my profile, if you want to get a basic idea. Maybe wunna these days I'll get around to actually drawing Nash himself, too . . .**


	26. In Underground Ninjago, Drugs Take YOU

**Hiya, folks, and welcome back to another episode of Ninjago: Breaking Bad . . . no, wait a minute. XP**

 **Funny thing, last week I stumbled on a video of the "Top 10 Worst Anti-Drug Commercials," and one of them was about a drug dealer turning into a snake. In Ninjago, half of the drug dealers ARE snakes. Literally.**

 **Whoof, I've gotta pick one of the extra-creepy PSAs and make Kai watch it, though. That'll teach him.**

 **Say, as long as I'm already yappin', can I just ask if there are any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans out there? Even a passing interest in the 2012 series? Because there is this gorgeous, gorgeous fic called "Logic of the Soul" by Poetique823, and it begs to be read. I mean, it's everything that I would normally dislike in a fic** — **dirty, angsty, dwelling on isolation and depression and suicide, at times incredibly gory** — **but oh my glob this person can WRITE. She writes all of this stuff with genuine sensitivity, not just for cheap, heartless drama. If you don't mind some mature elements, and if you know the turtles, give it a spin!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: No kidding. Pretty miserable thing to find out about your family. And yeah, they're lousy, believe me. The worst part is that they don't just kill you and get it over with; they do it slowly, melting away your brain and making all your loved ones suffer. Plus the drug lords charge insane prices, and people need to feed their addiction so desperately that they'll pay just about anything. They'll give up their last cent to get another high.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks! Good to hear. Almost, eh? *applies feels more harder* XP**

* * *

 **Sept 11**

 **6:40 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

The sky was starting to turn gray over the forest by the time Kai finished telling them all he knew about Nash, and about his connections to slobber-trading in general. It had been a hard discussion for all of them, and the fact that they were all running on about two hours of sleep didn't help.

"I know I've let you all down," said Kai quietly. "And I've done things you probably aren't okay with. I . . . understand if . . . "

"But you're out of the business now?" said Cole. "No more hiding this . . . scale juice?"

Kai nodded firmly.

"Hm. Well, if this guy has switched from scale juice to Technician, maybe you can give us some useful insider information." Cole grimaced. "Not that I like what we've been hearing so far, but hey. Useful."

"Oh, great, so it all goes away now," said Nya bitterly. "Hey, he's been responsible for teenagers dropping out of high school and parents letting their children starve, but that's not important. Just as long as he's not doing it anymore!"

"Nya . . . " said Lloyd, but nobody heard him.

"No, seriously. How _could_ you, Kai?" Nya's eyes were icy. "What happened to that honor you talked so much about?"

Kai said nothing, his eyes fixed on the tabletop. The others looked like they'd love to be gone right now.

"That was your first choice, huh? You couldn't have been a construction worker or a cashier or even a freaking taxi driver, oh nooooo, you had to choose the most damaging possible career! Were you consciously _trying_ to spit on the concept of honor?"

"Believe me, I stopped believing in honor when—" Kai closed his mouth abruptly. You could see the anger bubbling to life in his eyes, but he still had enough wits about him that he didn't want to use Zane's death as a bargaining chip. Especially not in front of Zane.

The fire ninja took a deliberate breath and tried to even out his voice.

"It doesn't look like that when you're in it," he said. "It's not like some guy strolls up to you and says, 'hey, want to help kids drop out of high school?' They ease you into it. When it first started, I was—was desperate." His voice dropped as if he was ashamed to say the word. "I hadn't gotten a paying fight from the slither pit in weeks, and we were already months behind in rent. Then some decent-looking guy walks up to me, holds up a paper bag, and offers me this insanely huge sum if I agree to keep it hidden for three days. I barely even knew what was in the stupid bag! I took it. Three days later the guy takes his bag back and gives me this massive wad of cash—what was I supposed to think?!"

"Think?" Nya's eyes blazed. "How about thinking about Dad? About Mom? They would want you to be a—a _street-sweeper_ before you ever stooped to that!"

"They wanted a lot of things that didn't happen," muttered Kai.

"You—" Nya's voice cracked. Getting up, she stalked to the door, slammed it, and was gone. The others flinched at the crack of wood against wood. Kai merely slid down in his chair, his gaze still boring through the tabletop.

"We should . . . get some sleep," said Cole at last. "This'll look clearer when we're fully conscious."

Nobody bothered to protest that the sun was just _rising_. One by one the others drifted out of the room, some of them casting Kai sympathetic or disappointed glances. He didn't notice either. Cole clapped his shoulder glumly on his way past, but Kai shook him off.

Most of them stumbled off to bed. Jay edged a little down the hallway to Nya's door; he could hear muffled sobbing coming from the other side.

"Nya?" he called softly. He knocked ever so gently on the door. "Nya."

No reply. Jay sighed and leaned his head against the rough wood for a moment. Then he turned and went to bed as well.

Lloyd went looking for Kai. He was the most acclimated to this situation—Kai had told him the basics of his slobber-trading past before. It had come as a shock to him too, but by now he'd more or less wrapped his head around it, and he figured Kai could probably use some company.

He found the fire ninja in the living room, plunked on the sofa. He looked battered, and not very communicative.

"Kai?" Lloyd leaned over the back of the sofa. The fire ninja didn't look up.

"Kai." Lloyd didn't take hints all that well. Kai gave him a warning look, but the younger ninja somehow took this as an invitation to climb over the sofa back and settle down.

"Lloyd," Kai said. "Get out."

"How 'bout, no."

"I'm serious, kid. You stay in here much longer, and I will probably bite your head off." Kai covered his eyes wearily. "I'm pretty sure we can both do without that."

"Woah, take it easy," murmured Lloyd. "Nya's just a little in shock right now. You remember, I didn't take it all that well either. I'm sure you guys'll work it out, once she calms down . . . "

"I don't care," said Kai flatly. Lloyd winced, but said nothing. He knew that wasn't true, but Kai's first response to pain was usually anger. It was how he protected himself.

"C'mon. I know it looks bad right now, but it's gonna—"

"Could you knock it off?" Kai's voice sharpened. "I just found out that one of my friends is dead. I don't want to hear that things are going to be okay right now, all right?"

Lloyd blinked, startled. Kai gave an impatient snort and turned away, letting his eyes go distant as if Lloyd wasn't there. Silence fell for a while. Lloyd eyed the red ninja's glazed expression, his elbows resting on his knees as he twirled his dagger moodily between his fingers.

Even after all this time, Lloyd still hadn't registered the slobber situation fully. Most of the time the whole dirty secret had been shoved way to the back of his mind, and it hadn't felt like it really applied to . . . well, to _this_ Kai. This was the same Kai joshing him about his hair, grumbling about training, playing video games, joining into water fights, turning all of Lloyd and Jay's pranks around to blow up in their faces. And the same Kai had broken the law and hung out with murderers? How had he seen that much and still kept so much will to live, to just be a teenager?

He wondered what Kai's nightmares were like.

After what felt like forever, Kai gave a short sigh.

"Go on, get out," he said, nodding at the door. "I'm not exactly easy to live with at times like this."

"No kidding," said Lloyd frankly. "But this doesn't really feel like a good time to be nicey-nice and express your opinions politely."

"Don't encourage me." Kai gave the faintest hint of a laugh. He still didn't look Lloyd's way, but the green ninja edged just a little closer.

"So . . . this guy was called Pug?" he said carefully. He saw Kai's jaw tighten, but the fire ninja shut his eyes and took a deep, slow breath.

"Yeah. Jinty and Pug, the twins."

"You knew them?"

"Sort of. Everyone knew the twins." Kai gave a pained smile. "Even in that nest of cutthroats, people still tried to look out for them a little. Especially Pug. It was a full-time job trying to cover for the little snot, keep him quiet, distract Nash and the other bosses from his yapping if we had to . . ." He glanced up to Lloyd for a second. "He was younger than you, you know that?"

"Wow." Lloyd winced, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah. Wow." Kai swallowed. "Too young to get self-preservation through his thick skull. Kept trying to change things. Make things better. Appealing to the better nature of people who didn't _have_ better natures." He let out his breath sharply. "Look where that got him."

"I'm sorry . . . " said Lloyd.

" _You're_ sorry." Kai abruptly flopped back, driving the heels of his palms against his eyelids. "Arrrrgh. I should have done something. I should have said something. Anything. All those times I didn't speak up. I could have saved him. I could have. I _didn't_."

Lloyd swallowed, feeling tears pricking at his eyes. There was so little he could do.

"Look, Kai," he said at last. "I know how you are. I'm sure you were doing everything you possibly could back there. You always do. I guess . . . I guess there just . . . wasn't anything that could be done."

"Ugh. I know, I know." Kai sighed, dragging his hands down his face. "I'm just beating myself up here. Honestly, it wouldn't have helped if the Prime Minister of Metalonia stepped in. When Nash wants you dead, you die. There is nowhere to hide."

"Nowhere?"

"Heck no. The slobber trade has its scaly fingers in every nook and cranny of the world. If you try to desert, they'll find you. They'll _do_ things to you. And then they'll drag you back."

Lloyd felt chills shoot down his spine.

"What about _you?_ "

"I was afraid you'd ask." Kai looked away. "Me too. I was never very deep into the business, and I eased out sort of gradually. For now they probably haven't needed me. But if they decide they do . . . Well, I'm screwed."

Lloyd said nothing.

"Worse, it puts you all in danger," said Kai thickly. "They know I'm with you guys. They know we're tight, and they wouldn't think twice about hurting you to get to me. I'm being a liability just by lying here talking to you."

Lloyd digested this notion uneasily.

"Geez, Kai," he said at last. It came out more exasparated than he'd meant.

"Ohh, don't give me that!" Kai shook his head angrily. "I _know_. I know I should never have gotten mixed up with those psychos. You think I don't tell myself that? You think I _like_ being a danger to all of you? You think I _like_ what they nearly did to my sister?"

Lloyd held his tongue, knowing a step in any direction would probably land on a mine. Kai seethed for a moment, glowering at the ceiling.

"Idiotic Life Choices 101. Great job there. A-plus for me," he growled at last. He waved at Lloyd. "Go on. Tell me I'm an idiot."

Lloyd shrugged. Kai made a frustrated noise and rolled over, turning to the back of the sofa.

"Just go."

Lloyd didn't get up. There was silence for a long time, except for the angry hiss of Kai's breath. At length Lloyd shifted.

"Kai." He tapped his shoulder.

"Scram."

"Kai."

". . . What?"

" _Kai._ "

"Well, _what?_ "

Seeing that the red ninja wasn't about to turn his way, Lloyd shrugged and held out his arms anyway. After a moment Kai lost patience and rolled over.

" _Well_ , what do you—o-oh."

"Hug," said Lloyd firmly.

"But—"

"Not taking no for an answer."

Kai looked at him for a moment. Then he sat up and sank against the younger ninja, wrapping his arms tightly under his shoulderblades.

"Okay, so it's a mess," murmured Lloyd. "But we've handled worse."

"I reallllly hate being a liability," Kai grumbled into his shoulder. "That's not what I signed up for, you know? S'posed to be the other way around."

"I know." Lloyd snuggled closer. "It's okay. You've spent a ton of time protecting the rest of us, we can repay the favor now. The others'll get used to the whole slobber thing. We'll figure the Technicians out. We'll beat this guy. We can do it for Pug."

Kai grumbled some more, but it was indistinct enough that Lloyd was pretty sure he felt better. At least a little.

"Quit being so nice to me, would you?" he said at last. "I feel like a heel."

Lloyd laughed softly, but bit his tongue on the joking response he'd had ready.

"So . . . " he said when Kai finally pulled back. "What was Pug like? What was _all_ of it like?"

"Ah, you don't wanna hear that kind of stuff," said Kai.

"No, I do," said Lloyd. "Uh—at least, if you don't mind talking about it? . . . "

"I . . . guess not . . . "

Kai was hesitant at first, but the more he talked the more he warmed up to the subject. Even with the relatively scanty experience he'd had with New Ninjago City's slither pit and slobber-trading circles, he had noticed things, gotten to know people. Kai was like that.

Lloyd listened, his knees drawn up to his chin. Admittedly, the topic _did_ unsettle him just a little. He might have been acclimated to the knowledge, but it was still weird to think about Kai tangling with prizefighters and drug dealers. It was even weirder to realize that, even in those dark unholy circles, Kai had found some hints of goodness. He talked about some gang members who looked out for each other, some who had families; some stories were even sort of funny. It sounded like he'd almost been friends with some of those guys.

The ninja were such a tight-knit group, it was already a little strange to think of having close friends outside the team. And with hardened drug dealers? Bizarre.

Not that it was all cute stuff, though. Not by a long shot. As Kai relaxed, the stories got progressively grimmer. Some of the things he seemed to regret having said as soon as he said them. It was a business built on ruining people's lives, after all. There had been extortion, brutality, violence, death.

Luckily a good deal of that part was lost on Lloyd. The near-sleepless night was affecting him too, and as he listened to Kai's rambling his eyelids grew progressively heavier. Soon his head began to nod, and eventually it sank to his chest. For a while he would open his eyes and mumble for Kai to keep going if he stopped talking, but soon that stopped too. Kai lay with his hands tucked behind his head, letting his last sentence trail off. He cast a sad smile to the sleeping teenager and tilted his gaze to the ceiling.

"Didn't hear you come in," he murmured.

Misako started slightly in the doorway, then recovered and stepped farther into the room. Kai watched her from the corner of his eye; he knew she'd been listening for quite a while. At length he looked to the ceiling again.

"You don't mind your son hanging around with me?" he said softly.

A bit of silence. Misako sat down on the other end of the sofa, next to Lloyd.

"No," she said at last. "No, there are much worse people he could be hanging around with. I know I can always trust you to look out for him."

"Always." Kai's gaze flickered away as Misako drew her sleeping son closer. "I screwed it up once. I won't let there be another Pug."

* * *

 **Kai may not take drugs. But he does function on a toxic cocktail of testosterone, adrenaline, and oxytocin. It's a wonder he's not crazier.**

 **I like to think that he gets along best with Lloyd because Lloyd's the only one equipped to deal with his moods. Tsk.**


	27. Kai Look, an Alien!

**Okie-doke, fellas, let's come up for a breath of air this chapter, shall we? Before we get sucked back down into the gloom tarpit. I mean really, it's filthy down there. Tastes like 370-million-year-old dinosaurs.**

 **Guest reviews!**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **mangamaker314: Hooooooo doggy, character deaths? I'm just warming up here! I'm gonna ease into this gradually** — **first this Pug guy we've never seen before dies "off-screen," then maybe I'll bump off someone we _have_ met before, then I'll progress to on-screen deaths, heck, I might even kill off a major character or two . . . Hide, Ninjago characters. Hide yo wives, hide yo kids.**

 **Eh heh; all hyperbole aside, though, it _will_ get pretty grim in places. It'll eventually swing back to the happy fluffies, more or less, but there will always be some darker moments sprinkled throughout. **

**Neh, I've got a different age headcanon. Lloyd is on the younger end of 16, Jay and Nya are 17, Kai is in the second half of 18, Cole is 19 and about to turn 20 (don't leave us!), and Zane is utterly undefined now because of the rebuild. Technically he's less than a year old. XP At any rate, I need to keep them in teenager range to excuse all these hijinks they get up to. Grown-ups are borrrrrrrr-ing. :P**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Yesh, yesh they are. :3 Starting with Season 5, the structure of the team's closest friendships started to be rather forcefully defined. XD**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Kairocksrainbow: He doesn't take 'em, he makes 'em. :P They're all natural hormones. Testosterone leads to male body development and behavior (often blamed for the drive to be "macho" and attract females), adrenaline is released when you're excited or stressed (like when you drive like Kai does), and oxytocin is the "nurturing" hormone, involved in stuff like social bonding and trust.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **walnut: No, you're fine! Thanks for the critique, I'd much rather hear what people think than be left guessing. :) As to future content, I've got a bit of a mixed answer, I guess: there will be more happy fluffies for sure, but there will _definitely_ be some more heavy moments too. I mean, I've still got Nya brooding in the corner over there. Gonna have to do something about that. And like I said in the first chapter, eventually there's gonna be blood and madness and skillful employment of a switchblade, and so help me there _will_ be a plot, if it kills me. Sound good? **

**That said, if you enjoy "heavier" content, maybe give "Saturniidae" a spin? I'm not particularly proud of that one, and I'll admit there's not too much plot to it, but it's angsty as all get-out. ^_^''**

* * *

 **Sept 11**

 **12:30 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

They all woke up with that weird disoriented feeling you get after falling asleep at an unusual time.

"Our sleep patterns are going to be whacked for _days,_ " moaned Cole. Zane burrowed further into his pillow, groaning as his falcon battered at his head insistently. It wanted food. Jay was still out cold, one arm draped over Meep.

Over in the living room, Kai awoke from drowsing, his neck sore from leaning against the sofa arm, and poked a toe at Lloyd. The green ninja stirred, then awoke with a start.

"Was I asleep?!" he gasped.

"Yeahhhh." Kai sat up and stretched, giving him an odd look.

"I didn't have my mouthguard on! You should have woken me!"

"I thought it'd be okay," said Kai, getting up. "You were snuggled up with your mom most of the time anyway, I figured she'd stop you from sleeptalking."

"I—w-what?" Lloyd went bright-red. Kai gave him a shrug and the faintest hint of a teasing smile before disappearing into the kitchen. After a moment Lloyd felt the tiniest smile twitch across his face too. Maybe it wasn't the best way of dealing with this situation, but pushing everything away and returning to normalcy looked reallllllly good right now.

The others seemed to feel the same way. Things were a little awkward as they rummaged around the kitchen, foraging a late lunch, but nobody brought up their discussions from that morning. A few hesitant glances were cast in the fire ninja's direction, but you could feel how much everyone wished last night had never happened, so they could go back to having—just Kai.

Kai, most awkward of all, tried to make toast. The toaster exploded.

"What the heck?!" Everyone whirled around to stare at the smoking ruins of the appliance. Kai regarded the various small parts spread at his feet.

"I'm not _that_ bad with technology."

Some hesitant smiles.

" _Oooooooh,_ " said Mopp, hanging over the edge of the sink. Meep poked at a screw that had bounced across the kitchen.

"Did I hear an explosion?" Misako poked her head into the room. She saw the destroyed toaster and looked dismayed.

"Oh no. Not again!"

"What?"

"You remember the other day, the aliens were fiddling with the alarm sirens and caused them to get stuck on?" Misako sighed. "While you were all out at the clinic, I caught them fiddling with the toaster. I forgot to tell you about that, I'm sorry."

"Wow. They have some knack for taking stuff apart," said Cole. Kai cast the small creatures a jaundiced glance.

"Good thing Nya and I have a knack for putting stuff back together!" said Jay gamely. Everyone began to gather up the various scattered toaster components. Kai and Nya reached for the same piece; Nya looked up for only a second, then immediately turned away. Kai hung his head.

* * *

It was a day for serious talks. Sensei Wu took both Kai and Nya aside seperately for earnest discussions. Both of them looked just a tad salty under the eyes afterwards, but Kai at least seemed a little more at peace. Cole, Zane, Jay, and Lloyd got together, and agreed that for now they would do their best to treat Kai just as they had before. There was nothing to be achieved by making him an outcast, and if the slobber trade ever did call his name again, he would be much stronger to resist it if he knew he still had his brothers' love.

On the slightly less serious end of the spectrum, Lloyd had a talk with Misako about _please_ not snuggling him in front of his friends, Misako took the opportunity to bring up his hair again, and Jay—perhaps the most ambitious—took Meep and Mopp in hand.

"Aliens," he said solemnly. "Please to pay attention."

" _Eeeeeee?_ " Mopp tilted his gaze endearingly. Jay, reminding himself to be stern, held out the box of exploded toaster parts.

"Do not do this," he said, emphasizing each word. "Breaking stuff is bad."

" _Aaaah?_ " The aliens looked guilty, and Jay was reasonably sure he'd gotten through to them.

"Yes, bad," he said. "You understand?"

" _Aaahhh._ " Meep pulled a twisted heating coil from the box of toaster parts, surveying it sadly. Jay felt his heart melt.

"Aw, hey, no need to be gloomy about it. Just don't do—"

" _Aaahhh_ ," interrupted Mopp, pulling a few other parts from the box. He proceeded to hit Meep with them. Meep willingly returned the favor, squealing delightedly. Jay facepalmed.

"You little dorks," he sighed, smiling. "Okay, fine, don't kill each other here." He tugged the parts out of the aliens' tentacles and put them back in the box. "Just, try to keep it in mind, okay? No. More. Breaking things."

Meep and Mopp both chirped ambiguously, probably not caring a bit. Jay shook his head and patted them both.

"Guess we'll just have to keep a better eye on you. If you can't keep your tentacles to yourself, could you at least do me a favor and try to be extra-nice to Kai for a while?"

" _I?_ " Meep cast a prejudiced eye towards the living room, where Kai was.

"I know, he's not your favorite person," sighed Jay. "But he's going through a tough time right now, y'know? And you guys are great at cheering people up."

Mopp groaned like a malfunctioning refrigerator, clearly not enamored with the idea.

"At least be a little more patient with him?" said Jay. "Come on. Do it for me?"

The aliens looked at each other and visibly slumped, relenting.

" _Oo'ayyyyy,_ " said Meep. Jay raised his eyebrows. Despite having an electronic buzz to it, the phrase was remarkably recognizable as "okay."

"You guys are getting pretty good!" he smiled. "Thanks."

Meep skittered off to play somewhere, and Jay slipped Mopp into his hoodie.

"Yep, you're really getting the hang of things," he said fondly.

"Jay?" Nya poked her head into the room. The lightning ninja looked up uneasily; she sounded ticked. Was it about Kai?

"I forgot to tell you earlier," she said. "Guess what I found in my room."

She took Jay to the "workroom" half of her quarters and showed him their spaceship—or what remained of it. While they had previously finished the framework and started work on the internal components, now the entire thing was lying in scattered fragments all over the worktable and floor.

"What happened?" Jay stared, horrified.

"I have some theories . . . " Nya squinted at Mopp. The alien chirped awkwardly and made himself as small as he could, nearly disappearing into the folds of Jay's hood.

"Mopp?" Jay fished him out—with some difficulty—and held him up. "Got something to say for yourself?"

" _Mlrblemmmble . . ._ " Mopp squirmed, looking away. Jay looked at Nya and heaved a sigh.

"We leave these hooligans alone for one night . . . _one_ night!"

"We'll practically have to start all over again!" said Nya.

"Honestly, Mopp," said Jay. "And Meep too, in his absence."

" _Awwww._ " Mopp sagged, becoming so limp he nearly slipped out of Jay's hands. " _Errrrrr._ "

He looked the picture of remorse. Jay and Nya exchanged a glance.

"Do we forgive him?" said Jay.

"I think we have to." Nya smiled ruefully, rubbing the alien's nose. "I guess it's not _that_ bad. Some of the pieces are still fastened together, and we won't have to work everything out as we go along now. We can still make it in time for the contest."

"Okay, you've received official pardon," Jay told Mopp. "But don't either of you do that again, a'right? No more disassembling stuff!"

" _Yeeee_ ," agreed Mopp contritely.

"Awwww, go easy on the little guy," said Nya. "Look how sorry he is."

Jay hesitated; he almost pointed out that Kai was sorry too. But Nya seemed to be feeling better for the first time in the day, and he didn't want to ruin her mood again. Maybe things would sort themselves out if he just let Nya distract herself from the situation for a while.

"I'm gonna go find Meep," he said at last, heading for the door. "He's gotta face the music too."

* * *

Lloyd and Zane went out for their patrols, even though it was pretty late in the day. The countryside was two days behind schedule by now, and the city might contain lurking Technicians. Cole wanted to haul the others off to train, but Nya excused herself, saying that she _really_ had to get serious about repairing the damage to the _Bounty_. Jay got the distinct feeling that she also didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of sparring—or refusing to spar—with Kai.

They trained with medium vigor, accompanied by the clanging of Nya working on the engines underneath them. Afterwards they all scattered into random corners, Cole to read, Kai to play video games. Jay wandered across Misako's video camera and decided to give it a spin.

He pattered around the _Bounty_ filming random things. Misako was in the kitchen lecturing the aliens on English, and Jay lingered and filmed for a while. Then he followed a bored Meep out of the kitchen, leaving an indignant Mopp to receive more education. Baffled by doorknobs, Meep bounced himself against the hall door until Jay opened it and let him outside onto the deck.

"Hey, wait up!" laughed Jay as the little alien streaked over the ship's railing and vanished. It turned out he was heading for Nya, who was still at the bottom of the ship working on the engines.

"Hi little guy!" she said, giving Meep a pat that left motor-oil prints atop his head. Jay smiled hopefully; for better or for worse, Nya seemed to be back to her old self. She was also dressed appropriately for the greasy job, in ragged sweatpants and an old "I Heart NNC" T-shirt that came halfway down to her knees. Her hair was pinned back with bobby pins, and there were smudges of oil on her cheeks. Jay tilted his head from behind the camera, oddly intrigued. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't seen Nya neatly dressed.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"I don't even know," sighed Nya, not looking up from the wrenches she was grappling. "I can't understand it. I've checked over all the fuel lines, I've practically taken the engine apart, I've _actually_ taken the generators apart, and I can't find anything wrong with any of them. But we're _still_ using way too much gasoline! It's like everyone decided to turn the heater on full-blast and leave all the lights on, all the time. But we're not doing anything unusual, power-wise . . . " She shook her head woefully. "When did our ship become such a gas guzzler?"

"Hmmm." Jay put on his best reporter voice. "Well, as an expert in this field, could you tell us about your plan of action from here on out?"

"Huh?" Nya looked up, puzzled, and realized she was on-camera. She rolled her eyes amusedly at first, then looked down at herself and yelped.

"Ack! Hey! Put that camera away!"

"Woah, woah, what?" Jay took a step back as Nya reached for the lens with an oily hand.

"Get rid of that footage!" Nya waved her hands. "I'm not going down in recorded history looking like this!"

"You look fine," protested Jay. Nya put her hands on her hips.

"Honest, you do."

"Gimme that." Nya reached for the camera again.

"No, stop! You'll get oil on it!" Jay backed away, trying to hold the camera out of her reach. Nya swiped, trying not to laugh, and somehow it devolved into a session of keep-away—difficult and probably unsafe in the tiny space around the ship's engine, but hey. Offended by the chaos, Meep retreated to the outside.

"He-hey, hey, you know if we break this camera it's just gonna be another thing to—" Jay stumbled over Nya's toolbox and pitched over backwards. Nya cringed at the noise of tools and ninja hitting the floor. A beat.

"The camera," announced Jay, holding it aloft, "is all right!"

Nya dragged a hand down her face, further smudging the grease smudges.

"And _you_ , wise guy?" she asked, smiling. Jay propped himself up on his elbows.

"I've been worse!" He grinned lopsidedly up at her, then blinked in surprise when she reached down to trace a stripe of motor oil down either side of his face.

"Heyyyyy . . . "

"Hmph." Nya gave him a mock-smug look, then chuckled and offered him a hand up. As Jay reached to take it, looking up into her smudged face and bright eyes, something stirred inside him. It was . . . It was nice being here. With her. Seeing her smile.

He didn't want to push anything. No repeats, no way. He'd bowled her over with his affections once before, and he realized now he had to leave her a choice in the matter. He wanted to leave _himself_ a choice in the matter too.

But suddenly forgetting about Mindy seemed so much easier . . .

* * *

Working together, Jay and Nya got the engine and generators in working order. Jay couldn't figure out what was wrong with the fuel usage either. It seemed like it must be related to the fact that the ship was lying on the ground now instead of flying, but how could that possibly increase power intake? You'd think it would decrease it.

"Well, at least they're working," sighed Jay, wiping his hands on a rag. "How long do you think repairs are gonna take?"

"I don't know, about a week? Maybe more, maybe less if we really push it."

"Can we last that long?"

"The septic tank is fine, it can last another three weeks at least. It's the water supply I'm worried about. We've been using so much water lately, taking care of the aliens and having water fights and everything, we're running a little low. We'll be fine if it rains within the next week, though."

Jay made a face. The system that collected and purified rainwater on the _Bounty_ always left it with a weird powdery, soapy taste; they filled their tank with water from a purification plant whenever they could.

"Maybe we should just hurry up and fix the ship instead," he said. "I guess the rocket boosters are next?"

"Yep," said Nya. She paused. "Or . . . well, we could always work on our _other_ ship . . . "

"The teeny-tiny one?" Jay smirked.

"That's the one."

Jay considered, then nodded eagerly. Their contest entry was urgent too, after all, and he was ready for a break.

They headed inside. Meep had long since left them, and Mopp was napping in the kitchen sink. Nya started laying out the blueprints they'd drawn while first building the ship's framework; with these, they'd be able to rebuild it much more quickly.

Meanwhile, Jay went to put Misako's camera back. Passing by the living room, he noticed Kai was still engrossed in a video game. He was really focusing—his jaw was set, his brows knitted. Probably he'd been struggling all this time to beat Lloyd's high score in _Fist to Face IV._ The green ninja was uncharacteristically sadistic when it came to FtF scores: somehow he had a natural knack for the game, but he always made sure to get a high score only a _liiiiiittle_ higher than Kai's. Then when Kai, after days or weeks, managed to claw his way back to the top, Lloyd would sit down, casually play a single game, and knock him back down to second place. It had been going on like this ever since Lloyd was a tiny squirt in a black hoodie.

Shaking his head, Jay turned to continue down the hall. Then he registered a double-take and turned back. He'd just realized that Meep was sprawled out on the floor next to Kai, gazing up at the flashing TV screen. Even as Jay watched, the little alien turned his glance to Kai for a moment, then carefully edged himself a little bit closer to the fire ninja. Jay muffled a snicker with one hand, wondering if Meep had started on the other side of the room and worked himself all the way across without Kai noticing.

The "Victory!" riff blared. Kai looked at his score and flopped back with a groan. He had achieved _his_ highest-ever score, but he still hadn't topped Lloyd's. It was short by only two points.

" _I?_ " Meep scooted a little closer and looked up at him earnestly, patting his knee. " _En._ "

"You think you're so smart, _you_ try play this thing," said Kai, but he sounded more amused than irritated.

" _Ennn_." Meep twittered a note-for-note replica of the _Fist to Face_ opening theme.

"Ergh . . . Well, maybe _one_ more time." Sighing, Kai picked up the controller again and started another game. Meanwhile Jay slipped away, grinning from ear to ear. Just before he left, though, he caught sight of Kai reaching down to scratch briefly between Meep's eyes.

One, like Nya, he seemed to be feeling at least a little better. And two, somehow Jay got a sense that the number of complaints about aliens was about to go down . . .

* * *

 **A/N: Hot dang, Kai, this is supposed to be Jay's story. You march your angsty tail right out that door.**

 **. . . I'm not gonna lie, the little spiky ball of passion and contradictions is pretty fun to write. I can see why he's usually the first choice for fanfic authors (and the scriptwriters!) to pick on.**

 **Soooooo, next chapter we go back to the angst for a bit.**

 **HOWEVER!**

 **If anyone feels like some extra quasi-fluff-ish stuff, I'm posting a bonus chapter separately. It'll be the start of a small collection of "companion" one-shots that don't fit properly in the main story.**

 **So, yeah! A scrap of Lloyd's city patrol circuit, and some long-distance Kailor. I'll be posting it on Thursday under "Backstage with Jay." Check it out if you like!**


	28. You Are Tearing Me Apart, Nya

**Baaaaaack to the drama we go!**

 **Not like the last chapter was _completely_ pointless, tho. At least two important plot thingies were buried in there. *checks* Actually, make that three. **

**Angel Star Ninja: Thanks for the review! And for the one on "Backstage with Jay" too. Lloyd is most certainly a Kailor shipper! When there isn't a whole tournament and Zane's life at stake, he rather enjoys seeing Kai going all twitterpated over that gal. XP**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Guest: Heh, thanks! Well, Mindy's going to appear a few more times in relation to the spaceship project and maybe some other things. There's not really competition anymore, tho; Jay has to keep his hands off her, she does have a boyfriend already! And he's pretty darn sick of hearing Cole reminding him of that. :P**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **walnut: Jinkies. X3 Thanks!** **Hmmmm, mixed feelings on the aliens, huh? I'm interested to see how you'll feel about them when things develop further.**

 **Awh man, I'm flattered you'd ask! If you want to develop your style, I think the most important thing you can do is read. Just barrels and barrels of books. It definitely doesn't have to be all classics (I love me a good trashy ghostwritten series), but some solid classic fiction certainly can't hurt. If it's still popular decades or even a century later, it's probably because it's really good and not just because kids like underwear and vampires. Anyway, the more you read, the more you** **get a feel for how words go together, what sounds good, what moments stick with you. Sometimes you can even learn from books you _don't_ like; it helps you figure out what doesn't work.**

 **Don't be afraid of English class either; practice (rigorous practice!) is vital. In grade school I was homeschooled with a curriculum that was heavy on writing, and my mom could be a pretty demanding teacher, enforcing proper English and making me** **completely** **rewrite stuff when it wasn't up to scratch. It weren't fun sometimes, but it worked! (Thanks, Mom.) And I've had some pretty great high school and college teachers too, who helped me hone my style.**

 **It's also helpful to have a story you're excited about. Once you're comfortable with your style it's technically possible to sit down and plug away at a story that bores you to tears (I'm looking at you, senior English-class essay), but when you're starting out it helps to have a plot where you just can't wait to write the next part. It's easier to learn the technical stuff while you're having fun.**

 **As to the nuts and bolts of how I write this particular story . . . well, it's kind've embarrassing. XD I have a rough outline of the plot (some parts are still dangerously under-construction), a large collection of fluffy or dramatic scenes I couldn't wait to write, and now I'm just slogging along in chronological order, merging the main plot with pre-written snippets whenever I reach them. And editing. Sometimes a little editing, sometimes a lot.**

 **Heh; sorry about the long answer. ^_^'' Did that cover your question?**

* * *

 **Sept 11**

 **7:00 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd (completed)**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

It was pretty late by the time Zane arrived back from his country patrol; it was dark by the time Lloyd returned from the city. He found Kai in the kitchen, on the phone.

"What was that all about?" he asked as Kai hung up.

"Just the clinic. They were nagging me about my second dose of rabies vaccine."

"Second? . . . " Lloyd's eyes widened. "Did the first one not—"

"It _worked_ ," said Kai. "You're supposed to get four doses. I need one the day after tomorrow, one a week from today, and one two weeks from today. Otherwise I turn into a slathering werewolf and eat all of you."

Lloyd gave him an unsettled look.

"I know, I know," sighed Kai, scruffing back his hair. "Sorry."

"Rough day?" ventured Lloyd.

"It was okay, I guess. Keeping my mind off things and staying out of Nya's way." Kai gave a humorless smile. "It works for now."

"Well, this might help with the first one." Lloyd handed him an envelope. "From Skylor."

"Oh." Kai looked at the slip of folded paper, oddly unenthusiastic. "You saw her, huh? Cool, thanks."

Then he tucked the envelope into his pocket and said nothing more about it. Lloyd raised an eyebrow, but figured he'd better not pry.

"You want us to leave you alone for a while?" he asked instead.

"Uh, alone?"

"The prank war."

"Oh." Kai's face fell. "Uh, sure, I guess. If you want to . . . "

Clearly he'd been expecting something like this—and to be perfectly honest, the urge to treat him differently now was pretty strong. It was kind of daunting to imagine joking around with someone who had such questionable acquaintances. Almost like it wouldn't be safe.

Lloyd bit his lip, pulling a bowl from the cupboard, and reminded himself firmly that this was the exact same Kai from forty-eight hours ago. Just because they knew a little more about him now didn't change anything.

"It's not like anything's different," he said gently. "We just figured things were a little rough for that kind of stuff right now."

"Oh." Kai rubbed his ear. "But it's not called off permanently or anything?"

"Not unless you want," said Lloyd. "We can just give you a day or two. Till things . . . you know, blow over a bit."

"Thanks," said Kai quietly.

Lloyd shrugged, smiling, and began ladling himself some leftover stew. After a moment he chuckled.

"You just blew your only chance to escape our vengeance. On _purpose._ "

"Shows how much I think of your vengeance," said Kai, smiling faintly.

"Hmph." Lloyd tossed the ladle into the sink. "We'll make you eat those words."

* * *

Apparently the others really hadn't eaten dinner together that night, because Cole soon joined Lloyd in the mess hall with his own bowl. Or maybe he was just going for seconds; you never knew with Cole.

"Any news in the city?" he asked.

"Not a single electronics theft reported _all day_ ," said Lloyd proudly. "That hasn't happened for more than two months! We must have really put a dent in the Techs last night."

"Good to hear," said Cole. "But I'm guessing they're only lying low. They wouldn't just give up; not that easily."

"I know, I know. But at least they know what they're messing with." Lloyd took another bite of stew. "We really need to track down those tunnels. Once we do that, I bet we can rout 'em within a week."

"Good point. Nya was talking about those Constrictai friends of hers, right?"

"Yeah, I'll ask her about that."

Meanwhile Zane appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, you're home, Lloyd?" He brightened. "Now we can get started on the quadratic equation."

"Zaaaaaaaaaane." Lloyd gave a muffled groan. "Not during dinner . . . "

"You said you could learn better while doing something else. Eating counts."

"I didn't actually mean it," muttered Lloyd, stirring his stew resentfully as Zane disappeared in search of a pencil.

"Uhh . . . what am I missing here?" said Cole.

"We made a deal," sighed Lloyd. "You know, I'm sort of Zane's older brother now, but he's still sort of my older brother too. So we both have to teach each other things. And you know how the whole dumb prank war started because Jay said I couldn't do algebra? Well, now Zane's teaching me. All the high school I missed because of the Tomorrow's Tea? Turns out I wasn't missing _much_."

"Wait." Cole shook his head. "Lemme get this straight. You're teaching _him_ how to be annoying and get into trouble, and he's teaching _you_ higher mathematics?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Woah," said Cole, watching as Zane plunked a stack of textbooks down on the table. "Somebody's getting gypped here."

Lloyd shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I guess. But I don't mind."

" _You_ don't—" Cole snorted amusedly. "Unbelievable."

* * *

After disentangling himself from Zane's algebra lecture, Lloyd poked his head into Nya's workroom. He looked curiously at the spaceship framework she and Jay were fastening back together.

"Hey, I thought you were done with the Tinkertoys part of it," he said.

"BLASPHEMY!" growled Jay, chucking a ruler. It missed by a mile and hit a shelf instead, knocking over a couple of books. Lloyd raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, that is some _lousy_ aim—"

At this point a rising domino-reaction of books finally reached the end of the shelf, knocking a bookend onto Lloyd's head.

"Ow!"

"Vengeance!" declared Jay grimly, and shook his fist.

"Yeesh," snorted Lloyd, rubbing his head. "So, anyway, I wanted to ask—Nya, have you heard anything about the Technician tunnels from those mining Constrictai you were talking with?"

"Not for a while, no," said Nya. "Good point. I'll give them a call tonight."

"Okay then!" Lloyd turned to leave, then looked back. "Oh, and Jay—Kai says it's still on." He grinned significantly. Jay gave an answering grin, but when he turned back to work his smile vanished. Nya's expression had abruptly darkened, her thoughts clearly dragged back to the subject she'd been working all day to forget. Hoping to draw her attention back to lighter topics, Jay tried to make easy conversation. No dice; her mood seemed to have taken a permanent dip.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he ventured at last.

"Nothing." Nya's voice was crisp. Jay bolted in another piece, trying to figure out what to say.

"Are you, uh . . . are you sure?"

"I'm _fine_."

Jay winced, wishing for a moment that Lloyd hadn't opened his big mouth. Couldn't he have figured out not to mention Kai in front of his sister right now?

At the same time, it wasn't like tiptoing around the topic forever was going to work either.

"Look, Nya." Jay at last put down his screwdriver, sighing. "I know you're mad, but—"

"Don't even _start!_ " Nya exploded. "I don't want to hear about _it,_ and I don't want to hear about _him!_ "

"W—woah, hold on," stammered Jay.

"No, no I won't hold on." Nya tightened a bolt so hard it groaned. "What is there to talk about? My brother, the _last_ person in the entire world I would ever expect to let me down, just turned out to be a common criminal. And he doesn't care—not about the lives he's ruined, not about the laws he's broken, not about what our parents would think, not—" her voice wavered "—not about what I think, either. And what's worse, none of _you_ care about anything either!"

"That's not true." Jay swallowed. "We—"

"—Yeah, right." Nya folded her arms, not looking at him. "You all just want to brush it aside and go back to normal, pretend nothing ever happened. Like everything's okay!"

"So do you!" Jay found himself pointing out. "All day you've been acting totally normal—"

"—and _not_ treating Kai like nothing's happened!" snapped Nya. "I'm not going to just close my eyes and pretend he hasn't done anything wrong!"

"And _what?_ We're supposed to all give him the cold shoulder? Throw him out or something? How is that going to help _anything?!_ " Jay spread his hands. Somewhere in the very back of his mind he was realizing, terrified, that this was a full-scale fight. The working portion of his brain, however, was seething furiously and trying to come up with the next angry line. "And who's letting who down here? It's not like _you're_ exactly being a nice supportive sister!"

"Maybe he doesn't deserve one!" Nya shook her head furiously. "Ughhhh. And here I thought I could at least count on _you_ for a little understanding!"

Jay clamped his teeth over any further replies and turned sharply back to work. He made not an iota of progress, however; within a few minutes he gave up. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath.

"Nya." He took another deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. He regretted most of that already. "Look, I'm sorry . . . "

"Save it," muttered Nya, her gaze fixed on—or through—the blueprints.

Jay chewed his tongue. She did have a point. Kai had the others, he'd be fine. Nya was having just as hard a time with this, if not harder: she'd spent her entire life trusting Kai completely, and all at once that trust had been blown to smithereens. She needed someone on her side right now.

"I get it, okay?" he said quietly. "It's freaking me out too. I can't blame you for being ticked with him. But do you really want to just . . . I don't know, cut him off?"

"I don't know." Nya sank her head into her hands. "I don't know, I don't know. I just . . . I can't believe this . . . "

Hesitantly Jay edged closer, reaching out a hand and placing it on her shoulder. She didn't look up, but she definitely didn't draw away either.

"I-I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again," she mumbled. "Can we really just . . . just let him get away with it? How are _you_ guys doing it? Don't you care?"

"We do, honest we do," said Jay. "Nobody likes this, Nya. Trust me, we all wish it could just go back to the way it was. But we've gotta face it: Kai's screwed up."

"That's one way of putting it," muttered Nya.

"But he _knows_ that, you know?" said Jay gently. "It's not like he wants to be a criminal or anything; he knows it was a mistake. He promises he's never going to do it again, and he's really sorry."

"Yeah? Could've fooled me . . . " Nya's voice was growing progressively more unsteady. Right now Jay would have given his left eye to have the guts to hug her. Barring that, he settled for patting her shoulder comfortingly.

"C'mon, you know that's not true," he murmured. "He's still crazy about you. You know he does care about you, and about your parents, and everything. He just . . . y'know, he's Kai. He says stuff he doesn't mean."

"I know." Nya drew a shaky breath. "I do too." She swallowed, forcing a wavery smile. "So did both our parents. G-guess we had no choice . . . "

Something in Jay's brain misfired, and the next thing he knew he had drawn Nya into his arms, letting her bury her face in his shoulder. She burrowed against him, her fists clutching the back of his hoodie.

"I hate this," she mumbled brokenly.

"Me too . . . " Jay whispered.

After a long while Nya drew back, looking drained but surprisingly composed.

"I guess I should talk to him," she said.

"Are you sure?" said Jay. "I mean, I get that this is pretty rough. If you still need some time, it's totally—"

"No, I'm ready." Nya set her jaw. "Whatever he says can't be any worse than this."

* * *

Jay went to hunt down the others. He found Kai in the hallway, looking ill at ease.

"Uhh—" Jay stopped. "Did you hear any of that?"

"Hear it? For a while back there we could hear you guys all over the _ship_."

"Ohh." Jay gulped, reddening. "Well, uh, Nya's coming for ya."

"Coming for—"

"To talk, I mean." Jay shook his head. "So, like—uhm. Are you even ready for this?"

Kai spread his hands glumly, indicating he was as ready as he'd ever be.

"Yeah, so, uh—great. Good luck. Keep it together." Jay tried to smile encouragingly, already backing away. "I'll get the others out of here, huh?"

"Thanks." Kai sounded grateful on several different levels.

Jay plowed into the bunkroom, where the others were getting ready for bed.

"You guys, we've gotta scram," he said.

"What?! But—" Cole was already in his pajamas. Jay, ignoring protestations, took Zane by the arm and steered him towards the door. Then he began to hustle the others along as well.

"What's going on?!" demanded Cole, resisting as Jay tried to drag him out of bed.

"You heard that thing a little while ago?" said Jay, tugging doggedly on Cole's arm.

"Uh . . . yeah."

"Well, there's gonna be another one. But this time _Kai's_ gonna be in it."

"Holy fizzims." Cole scrambled out of bed without any further prompting.

Once comfortably out of earshot, they flew their dragons in circles through the crisp night air, a few hundred feet above the glowing patches of light the _Bounty_ 's windows made in the forest. Nobody said very much, but their dragons seemed unusually roary.

Jay found a thermal. Letting the spiraling warm air carry him higher and higher, he watched the others become glowing colorful specks below him. His tension seemed to drop farther away with every meter he rose, the occasional jet stream whipping violently through his hair and clothes, battering his dragon back and forth. He loved high flying. He was lightning, after all; the closer he got to the sky, the happier he felt.

He kept rising, relishing each wingflap. For a moment he thought he could touch outer space—he'd always wanted to—but he suddenly realized that it was _freezing_ up here. Also, it was actually getting difficult to breathe.

For a second he waited, letting himself struggle for oxygen. It was a scary feeling, but also kind of amazing—to know he had gone _that_ high, all on his own power.

At last, a little light-headed, he swung his dragon's nose towards the ground, folded back the wings, and let himself drop. Chilly air screamed through his ears, trails of vapor streamed off his dragon's jaw, clouds disintegrated as he plowed through them. Vaguely he wondered if he'd remember to stop before the ground hit, but this was one of the few times when he just couldn't worry.

He had just drawn level with the others when he pulled his dragon out of existence. He allowed himself to flip over until his feet were underneath him, then re-summoned his dragon with an explosion of electricity. He felt all his insides lurch downwards as he jolted to a violent halt, air snapping beneath his outspread wings like a crack of thunder.

"I hate it when you do that," grumbled Cole. Jay snorted, his dragon tossing back its head and screeching. He felt frozen to the bone, and his face was prickling from wind burns, but that had been well worth it. Someday when things settled down, he wanted to take Nya up that high.

It seemed like a long time later that a glowing red form materialized below them. Kai's dragon came flapping up to join theirs.

"Coast is clear," he said. "Sorry you guys had to do that."

"No problem," said Cole. "So what's the situation?"

"Ehh, I dunno. I talked at her for a while, then she talked at me for a while, then I talked at her again."

It was hard to figure anything out from Kai's voice. Jay squinted at his dragon—there was something weird about it, that was for sure—but Kai quickly pulled his mount into a nosedive and shot back down to the ship.

"Well that was informative . . . " murmured Cole.

"I sense it went fairly well, actually," said Zane.

"You think?"

"He is in too good a mood for it to have gone badly."

"Word," said Lloyd.

When they got back, Jay slipped away to find Nya.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Been worse." Nya looked even more worn-out, but Jay thought (or at least fervently hoped) that she seemed a little calmer too. She laughed weakly. "You might want to worry more about Kai . . . I kinda went to town on him."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Nya fiddled with some loose parts to avoid meeting Jay's eyes. "The first thing I did was ask him how he'd like it if _I_ was desperate for money and went to work in the red-light district."

Jay's stomach lurched at the mere thought of it. He could only imagine what a hot knife it must have been for Nya's brother.

"I didn't know it felt like that for you," he said softly.

"Kinda, yeah," said Nya. She noticed Jay's stricken look and hastily waved her hands.

"No, no, don't feel bad about it. I shook him up good with that first line, and we finally started talking like reasonable human beings for a change."

"So . . . you've worked it out?"

"I guess. I still can't really wrap my head around it, but we're kind of . . . at an understanding. I guess it can only get better from here." Nya rubbed her temples tiredly. "It was a miserable time, but it had to happen. And I'm glad it's over with." She looked up with a wan smile and reached over to squeeze Jay's hand. "Thanks for talking me into it."

"S-sure thing," stammered Jay. He wondered if it would be pushing his luck to try hugging her again. It probably would.

"Well, g'night. Hang in there," he said at last, and drifted off to bed.

The lights were already out when he got to the bunkroom, except for a faint light coming from the bathroom where Lloyd was brushing his teeth. Kai was ostensibly asleep—any ninja with half a month of training could tell he was pretending—but he gave up pretenses and opened one eye when he heard Jay walk in.

"Can you take your jellyfish somewhere else?" he asked reproachfully. Jay looked to the foot of Kai's bunk, where Meep was nestled down, purring.

"What's not to like?" said Jay, but took Meep away anyhow. The alien draped himself across the lightning ninja's shoulder when he lay down, grumbling alienishly. Jay waited for a few minutes, then gave him a nudge.

"Go on," he whispered.

Meep hopped off his shoulder and disappeared. After a few seconds Jay heard the alien purring renewed, accompanied by a drowsy grumble from Kai.

"No alien blobs here. Shcram."

For all that, though, Meep didn't come back—and the purring continued.

* * *

 **A/N: Ever had one of _those_ conversations? The ones you know have to happen but you wish wouldn't? ****They suck, believe me.**

 **Y'know,** **I think this story is going to get happy and non-angsty for a while again. I don't know about you guys, but I'm lookin' forward to it! The plot will continue to grind forward though, never fear.**


	29. What Homeworld Thinks of Fusion

**Yayyyyyyyyy fluffies! *tumbles exuberantly down the stairs***

 **Angel Star Ninja: No worries, it's all uphill from here! They've sort of said everything they wanted to say, Nya's slowly coming to accept what she's learned about Kai, Kai's patiently waiting for her to come around . . . They'll work it out eventually. :)**

 **Guest 1: Thanks! Yeah, things always come to a head eventually, misery or not. :S Haha, I'm pretty sure Kai really doesn't like Meep all that much. He just sort of grudgingly acknowledges that aliens are okay sometimes, when they're being particularly nice to him. :P Ohhhh, I see! Heh, sorry about that. Yeah, she's getting a little impatient, actually. Jay hasn't been keeping her updated as conscientiously as he might. XD**

 **Guest 2: Well, I can't make any promises. ^_^'' I like Kailor too, but right now there are kind of some obstacles to it . . . most of them imagined, but still. There'll definitely be some rocky patches, if nothing else. Say, ever heard "Fire Meet Gasoline," by Sia? I can never shake the feeling that it'd be the perfect song for those two. P:**

* * *

 **Sept 11**

 **10:49 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd (completed)**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Although they had gone to bed for real this time, it was a while before most of them went to sleep. After their weird pattern the day before, most of them had trouble drifting off—except Cole, who would have happily kept a ten-hour sleep schedule if he wasn't stuck with the ninja lifestyle. He was out cold within minutes.

One by one the others drifted off too, until only Jay remained. He rolled over and over in his bunk, wrapping himself up in his bedsheets, but his eyelids didn't grow even the tiniest bit heavy. As the minutes wore on, he drifted in and out of a waking dream, getting no actual rest value out of it.

At last he rolled over and swung his head over the edge of the bunk.

"Cole," he whispered.

"Mmmmm?" Cole gave an unwilling groan, prying one eye open.

"What if there were turtles?"

Cole blinked the glue from his eyes and squinted at Jay blankly.

"What?"

"What if there was another universe, somewhere out there, and it had _us._ But instead of us, we were turtles! What if there was _that?_ "

Cole stared for a moment, his still-sleepy brain processing this tidbit.

" _This_ is what keeps you awake at night?" he said at last.

"It's not keeping me awake, I was already up and I just now had that thought," said Jay.

"Well, stop having it," mumbled Cole, rolling over and pulling his pillow over his head.

"But _what if we were turtles?_ "

"Then that would be great."

"But I don't want there to be another me that's a turtle!"

"It would be awesome, trust me. Turtles are _silent_."

Jay made an annoyed noise in his throat. Realizing that sleep wasn't about to happen, and that Cole wasn't coherent enough to discuss the grim reality of turtle AUs, he slid out of bed and padded to the door. Maybe some late-night video games would wear him out. Meep whisked up next to him as he slipped the door open, evidently satisfied that Kai was asleep and more interested in being where the action was. Or maybe just where Jay was. There was a flattering thought.

Once out in the hallway, Jay realized that a light was still burning in the central control room.

"Nya? . . . " He peeked around the door.

"Oh, hi Jay," said Nya, looking up. She was laboring over the tangled innards of one of the sirens she'd taken apart a few days ago.

"You're still up?" said Jay, slipping into the room.

"Yeah. I was gonna call the Constrictai miners, remember? I figured this was easier than setting the alarm and dragging myself out of bed at midnight." She yawned, stripping coating from a wire. "You have patrol tomorrow, though. You need sleep."

"I can't," shrugged Jay. "You, uh . . . want some company?"

Nya seemed to hesitate, but her smile afterwards was genuine.

"Sure. I'd love that."

* * *

The night seemed to fly by. Studiously Jay coaxed Nya away from her memories of that evening, hoping he could help her move on. They discussed turtles, worked on their spaceship to their hearts' content, got distracted when the aliens began to sing their duet again, tried to teach the aliens how to build card houses, failed miserably, played three rounds of Go Fish, and programmed a pair of floppy drives to play the Peanuts theme song. It was unclear why they chose to do so; they may have been more sleepy than they were willing to admit.

Twelve-thirty found them camping in the control room, somewhat drunk on sleep deprivation. They were again trying to fix the broken sirens, but they weren't making much progress—mostly because they were laughing themselves sick over _Starfarer_ fanfictions in the meantime.

"How culd yo do ths to my, Alexia?!" intoned Jay, blowing his nose overdramatically into an oily rag. "Yu never loved my!"

"No!" intoned Nya, clutching her heart. "I stil lovr yu, Frtiz!"

"Frrtizzz." Jay broke character, choking. "I . . . I can't."

"Silence, Frtiz!" Nya chucked a loose wire at the back of his head. "Don't be jealous of the beautiful Alexia's beautiful pronunciation skills. Frtiz."

Jay, still laughing, flopped sideways across the swivel chair and allowed himself to lean all the way back, till his head dangled almost to the floor. For a while he hung that way, watching Nya fiddling with siren components. It was good to see her smiling for real again. They'd been struggling to keep up a fake normalcy all day, but after that had violently disintegrated—after they'd let themselves be dunked into the full extent of misery and let it run its course—he could see the promise of better times glinting in the distance.

"Rrrrgh." Jay snapped out of his thoughts at Nya's frustrated growl. She tugged at a singed wire. "This circuit keeps blowing! It worked fine before . . . "

"Try a germanium and a silicon 3A diode, in parallel," said Jay idly.

Nya, eyebrow raised, inserted the named components.

"You're right, it works!" she said, surprised. "Not bad . . . "

"Eh. Sorta comes intuitively," said Jay, drawing out a twist of blue lightning between his finger and thumb.

A bit of silence. Nya put together a few other bits and pieces.

"Y'know, I don't give you enough credit," she said at last.

"It's nothing much," said Jay, blushing slightly. "I mean, you should hear Zane talking about ice formation. Or Cole—well, he's all dirt between the ears, but he does know a lot of stuff about rocks and soil structure and stuff. It just—"

"Not even just that," interrupted Nya, shaking her head. "I mean about everything."

"Uhh—" Jay tilted his head, rocking the upside-down world.

"I mean, I've known you for ages, and I never even knew you were this good at building things," said Nya, fiddling with a tiny screw. "And I definitely didn't know you could, well . . . be there for someone, like that. Like you were for me, like you are for the aliens. You're more serious than I gave you credit for."

"Ahh, d-don't mention it," stammered Jay, swinging right-side-up and hoping his blush would get mistaken for blood draining to his head. "It's not like I've ever, y'know, acted like anyone worth taking seriously."

"Still." Nya gave him a quick smile. "I'm . . . glad I got to know you better."

"H—hey, right back atcha," said Jay. Inside he felt like he was going up in fireworks, and it was all he could do not to blurt out something embarrassing and probably uncalled-for. Somehow he restrained himself to just smiling back and sliding down to join Nya on the floor, grabbing a pair of pliers.

But it was good to be here. With her. _Really_ good.

* * *

An hour later Jay jolted awake to the sound of the central computer's ringtone. He looked around frantically for a second, scattering siren components about, and realized Nya had been snoozing in the swivel chair nearby. She was now also blinking her way awake, already fumbling for the "answer call" button.

"Wait, wait!" Jay grabbed a dozing Meep and shoved him under a nearby tarp to hide him. Nodding, Nya punched the button, and the video flickered into view on the screen. It was a bit dark and grainy, but you could clearly see the stocky form and glowing eyes of a Constrictai.

"Good evening, Misssss Nya," he said. "Err—did I catchhhhh you at a bad time?"

"Haha, no, no, sorry," laughed Nya, rubbing her eyes. "We were just dozing off there. Hi Scrubble! This is Jay."

"Evening." Scrubble nodded amiably.

"Hi." Jay smiled, surprised at how natural it felt to be sitting up past midnight chatting with a Serpentine. Who was underground, too, from the looks of it.

"So, how's the wife and kids?" asked Nya, settling back and covering a final yawn.

"We're all fine, thanksss. But I thought you'd like me to cut right to the chase, ma'am—we may have found the tunnels."

Nya gave a startled screech and nearly fell backwards out of the swivel chair. Jay caught her by the shoulders. She blinked up at him for a second with a sheepish smile, then shot back upright.

"You found them?! That's wonderful! Where?!"

"We're not _sure_ just yet." Scrubble sounded like he was trying not to laugh. "But we always do preliminary sssoundings—"tapping," we call it—to check what the digging ahead will be like. We were tapping in a side tunnel about an hour ago, and there seems to be a rather exssssstensive open space a little deeper underground."

"So you think the tunnels are nearby? Can you dig towards them?" asked Nya eagerly.

"We're already on it," said Scrubble. "Right now we still need mosssst of our—ahem—snakepower on the main job—"

"Of course, of course, I understand," said Nya. "Don't skip out on your job to do this!"

"—we have a few extra handssss, don't worry," said Scrubble. "Anyway, a few of the boyssss have agreed to stay after the end of their shift and dig full-time. We esssstimate we should reach the tunnels in eight hours or lesssss."

"Scrubble, you are the absolute best," said Nya giddily. "All of you!"

"Hey, we want thosssse Technicians caught as much as you do," said Scrubble drily. "We use a lot of electronic equipment in this operation, and we _lose_ a lot of electronic equipment to _their_ operation. If you ninja are willing to go down there and trouncccce them for us, we'll gladly do the digging part of it." His stubby fangs glinted white through the fuzzy darkness of the video. Jay assumed that was a smile—but the tiny hint of derision in the way Scrubble pronounced "ninja" wasn't lost on him. Old habits died harrrrrrrd.

"Well, either way we wouldn't stand a chance without you," said Nya. "We owe you one."

"Noted," said Scrubble. "For now, we're going to keep digging. I'll contact you once we know for sssssure what we find down there."

"Thank you!"

The video fizzled out. Nya and Jay turned to each other for a second, then gave twin whoops and spun each other around the room.

"Finally! Ha ha! Finally a—oww!" Jay let go of Nya's hands and jumped back, favoring one foot. There were still some loose siren components lying around. Nya tried to steady him, but instead he stumbled into her and somehow succeeded in dragging them both down. They wound up sprawled on the floor side by side, laughing helplessly. Meep surveyed them from his spot underneath the tarp, vaguely disapproving. They had woken him up.

"What are we so excited about?" giggled Nya, rubbing her face. "We don't even know for sure that those are the Technician tunnels. It could just turn out to be an old limestone cave or something."

"Don't say that, you'll jinx it!" protested Jay.

"It could totally be a limestone cave," said Nya, just to be contrary. "Limestone." She giggled again, then shook out her head and got hold of herself. "Okay, I'm starting to think the word 'limestone' is funny. Definitely time to get some sleep."

"Ugh, me too." Jay yawned, dragging Meep over by one leg and tucking him under his arm. "Say, should I tell the others about this?"

"Could you wait for me? So we could tell them together?" said Nya. She nudged him playfully. "Knowing you, you'll get all excited and tell them we've found the tunnels for sure, instead of bringing up the limestone."

"Okay, okay, I'll wait." Jay considered, then snickered. "You're right, it does sound funny."

Nya sat up, laughing tiredly.

"We realllllllllly need sleep."

They crept quietly down the hall, hoping not to wake the others at this unholy hour. At the bunkroom door they were forced to part ways. Somehow they were both a little reluctant.

"Promise you'll wait?" whispered Nya. It was such a rare flash of vulnerability; something prickled warmly in Jay's chest.

"I promise," he whispered. "G'night . . . "

"Night."

A beat.

"Liiiiiiiiiimestooooooone," whispered Jay sinisterly, and they both muffled their laughter all the way to bed.

* * *

Despite everything, Jay was still the first to wake up in the morning. He was just too excited. Squinting at the alarm clock, he settled back down, deciding to wait the few minutes until the alarm rang. Zane, he noticed for the first time, was curled up on the floor. Poor sap must've had a nightmare and forgotten to get back into bed.

In the bunk below him, Cole began to stir.

"No . . . " he mumbled. "No!" The stirring became more vehement. Jay swung upside-down to check on him, then dropped lightly to the floor and nudged the earth ninja.

"Chill out, Cole. Easy," he murmured.

"No!" Cole jerked away so violently that Jay yanked his hand back, startled.

"Blood all over the place . . . " the earth ninja slurred, shaking his head.

"I know, man, I know." Jay patted his arm, not wanting to stir him up further. "Easy. It's all fine, don't worry. Go back to sleep."

Just then the alarm clock went off. Cole shot bolt upright, hitting his head against the top bunk. Jay winced. Meanwhile Cole, gasping, looked around with wild eyes for a moment, registering where he was. Jay waited patiently for reality to sink in. Around them the others dragged themselves awake, groaning, as the alarm continued to beep. Lloyd stumbled to his feet and groped for the snooze button, then looked with sleepy bewilderment at Zane on the floor.

"You 'kay?" said Jay at length.

"Yah . . . Ugh." Cole rubbed at his head gingerly and cast Jay an awkward, bleary glance. "I . . . wasn't saying anything stupid, was I?"

"No stupider than usual." Jay smiled and nudged him gently. Meanwhile Meep bumped his way through the half-open door, attracted by the alarm tone, and glomped himself to Jay's head, chirping a greeting. Then, noticing that Cole seemed unsettled, he jumped on the earth ninja instead. Cole caught him reflexively, but stiffened and gave a violent shudder. Jay quickly figured out what he'd been dreaming about.

"You've got some serious traumas, pal," he said sympathetically.

"I do _not._ "

"Take it easy. He's not bleeding, promise." Jay took Meep back, disentangling the affectionate critter's legs from Cole's pajamas. Cole rubbed his head again, grumbling away his embarrassment.

"Next time we change the sheets, I want the top bunk. My skull's wearing out," he said. Then he suddenly blinked at Jay as if seeing him for the first time.

"Wait. Did I just dream it," he said, "or were you asking me about _turtles_ last night?"

"I, uh . . . may have mentioned something along those lines," said Jay carefully. Looking back, he wasn't quite sure what his train of thought had been. Or why an alternate universe full of shelled reptiles had unsettled him so much in the first place.

"Wow. Middle of the night, and you wake me up to worry about turtles," said Cole, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "What goes _on_ in your head, Jay?"

"It's—science." Jay huffed, folding his arms. "And philosophy. And—and stuff."

"And turtles." Cole chuckled.

"Ohhh . . . hush, you. Now hurry and get up, Nya and I want to tell you guys something." Jay stood up to leave, then turned back to address the room as a whole. "Oh, and Nya says we're running low on water, so it's Navy showers from here on out."

Groans all around.

"Hey. It's that or drinking chalk-flavored roofwater," said Jay sternly. "So unless you like that stuff—!"

And with this ultimatum, he swept off.

* * *

Over breakfast, the _Bounty's_ two inventors shared their news. Everyone was extremely excited at such a huge possible breakthrough—although nobody could quite figure out why Jay and Nya collapsed into laughter in the middle of trying to explain about limestone caves.

Technically Jay and Kai were supposed to go out for their patrols. However, few earthly forces could have convinced them to leave—not with news like this on the way. Everyone fidgeted and paced, hoping every second to hear the musical ringtone of the _Bounty's_ computer. Nya turned the volume all the way up, but she still didn't dare go outside to work on repairs.

Itching for something to pass the time, Lloyd dragged Jay aside for another valiant attempt at pranking Kai. They figured things had settled enough by now.

"Not that I make a habit of looking ahead or anything," said Jay, as Lloyd unscrewed the top from a superglue tube. "But what if we can't get it off again? It'll be kind of annoying to have it fixed permanently to the sink."

"Relax, Nya's got nail polish remover." Lloyd squinted in concentration, trying to squeeze glue onto the handle of Kai's hairbrush. "I made sure to ask, that stuff removes superglue like—why is this not coming out?"

"The tips always get clogged," said Jay glumly. "That glue is useless now."

"Ugh," muttered Lloyd, squeezing the tube harder. "Come on, there's tons of it still in there! I've just gotta—"

The tube burst open. By great good fortune no glue splashed into Lloyd's eyes, but it did succeed in coating his hands and the hairbrush he was holding.

"Oh . . . shoot." Lloyd, wide-eyed, hastened to yank the hairbrush out of his gluey hand. Instead he stuck his other hand to it as well. "Yikes! Get it off!"

Jay, not thinking, grabbed the brush and tried to pull it free. Obviously he got stuck to it as well. In the natural panic that arises from realizing you're stuck, he succeeded in fixing his other hand to Lloyd's wrist. Things continued to escalate.

After a few moments Kai came into the room, probably planning to brush his hair.

"Woah!" he stopped, startled. "Uhh . . . guys?"

"Not. A. Word," gritted Lloyd.

Kai's mouth twitched, but to his credit he didn't laugh.

"Uhhh . . . " he said at last, as Lloyd and Jay continued to struggle. "Should I get Nya?"

"No!" yelped Lloyd, somehow managing to affix them both to the doorknob. "We've got this!"

"Iiiii don't think you've got this," said Kai, watching the proceedings with a mix of fascination and unease. "Seriously. Don't feel like this is a big deal, I can totally get her. She and I are pretty cool by now."

"That is not the point," Lloyd hissed. By now he and Jay had accumulated several toothbrushes, the toothpaste, the exploded glue bottle, a book, the aforementioned doorknob, and of course each other. Lloyd kicked the door in frustration, and that stuck as well.

"Yeahhhhhh." Kai backed towards the hallway. "I'm getting Nya."

* * *

I _warned_ you guys about these fusion dances!" grumbled Nya, dabbing nail polish remover judiciously over the trapped ninjas' hands. "You're lucky I got polish and remover for a fancy event and only used them once. I should have enough to get you free of everything."

"This is really getting disappointing," said Kai, watching. "You didn't even give me a chance to screw it up _for_ you this time."

"Apparently they thought this was better than having to deal with you," said Nya. Her tone was what you'd call acerbic, but there was the tiniest hint of teasing in it. Lloyd and Jay, despite their embarrasment, caught each others' eyes significantly.

Eventually Kai wandered off. Lloyd cleared his throat.

"Say, Nya," he ventured. "Do you think maybe . . . you could help us come up with some way to prank Kai?"

"Really?" Nya smirked. "Two guys, having so much trouble pulling off _one_ successful prank that they have to ask a _girl_ for help?"

"Hey, I don't see what being a girl has to do with it," said Lloyd, shrugging. "And you know Kai best! You'd be a perfect accomplice."

"You're just trying to make us get along again, aren't you," said Nya flatly.

"Uhh—" Lloyd blinked, taken aback at how quickly she'd seen through him. "Sorry . . . "

"No, it's fine," sighed Nya. "That's . . . kinda sweet of you, really." She was quiet for a moment, brushing on more polish remover. "You know what, maybe I will help you. My dork of a brother realllllly needs a comeuppance by now."

Now _that_ sounded like their typical sibling-to-sibling attitude. Jay and Lloyd beamed at each other.

"Okay, jokesters," said Nya at last. "That should do it."

"Phew," sighed Lloyd, stepping back and flexing his hands. "That's a relief. Thanks, Nya."

"Sure thing," said Nya, smiling wearily.

Jay didn't say anything. Nya raised an eyebrow at him.

"You've been awfully quiet all this time. Everything okay?"

Jay shrugged, nodding. Nya and Lloyd looked at each other, then back at Jay with wide eyes.

"You _didn't_ . . . " said Nya.

Jay looked away, clearly (and silently) furious. Lloyd sputtered into laughter.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," he groaned, as Jay gave him a death glare. "Oh my gosh Jay, how did you manage that? Did you _bite_ the glue?"

The lightning ninja glared harder.

"Oh, Jay," sighed Nya, rubbing her forehead. "C'mon. Let me see."

Jay backed away, blushing, but Nya advanced upon him doggedly and gently pried his mouth open.

"Okay, your tongue is stuck to your teeth," she said. "Gosh, Jay, I don't know what to do now. I'm not sure if I should be putting nail polish remover in your mouth, that stuff is nasty."

Jay gave a muffled growl, his face still bright-red.

"I guess for now you'll have to wait for it to work free," said Nya. "Don't pull too hard or anything, we don't want any injuries. If it doesn't come free on its own, I'll have to think of something else. Think you can handle it for a while?"

Jay groaned, hanging his head, but nodded. He was going to be hearing about this.

* * *

 **A/N: Hehe. Did you ever hear that story about prisoners (or sometimes it says new military recruits) being forced to dig holes and then fill them right back up again? I do that to myself sometimes, plot-wise. I've been throwing dirt back into this hole for chapters an' chapters now, and I just can't seem to fill it. XD**

 **It'll fill up eventually, tho. Ohhhhh yes it will. *applies hints more harder***

 **Floppy drive music is a thing, by the way. Check my profile for links!**

 **Also, I finally threw together a picture of what Nash looks like! Roughly. I hadn't even been sure what he looked like myself, before drawing him. XD But anyway, link to that is on my profile too!**


	30. Your Argument is Invalid

**Guest: Yeep! Thanks for the review. ^_^ Hehe, Cole's pretty smart-alecky for someone who's barely awake, eh? XP**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Yesh! Both references spotted! I would give you cookies, but we're online and the most I could really do is toss punctuation about. XP**

 **Elveron294: Thanks very much! Haha, well, I'm a _part_ of Freawaru321, anyway. There are three of us on there. And until recently, I didn't even have a large involvement in the parodies** — **my channel partners would put them together, show me the first draft, then mostly ignore my suggestions. XD The latest one, "Nobody Loves Jay," is the first one where I was really heavily involved** — **what did you think?**

 **mangamaker314: I did go a bit heavy on the references, didn't I? XD Well, there'll still be fluffies in later chapters! I'm not that good at writing grim stuff, fluffies are nicer. And yeah! AU is Alternate Universe. You can find some pretty good Ninjago fics that are entirely AUs . . . and also some not-so-good ones, admittedly. :P**

 **Mrcitizen: Aww, you saw that on my profile? :3 That's an interesting thought . . .**

* * *

 **Sept 12**

 **8:14 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Kai and Jay**

 **Status conditions: Jay unusually quiet**

* * *

The others tried to be nice. Really they did. They restrained themselves to only _occasionally_ asking annoying questions. "What if there were turtles?" being a perennial favorite. Cole also had plenty of theories about who Jay would be seeing on his city patrol, and seemingly no concern whatsoever about the items that were subsequently thrown at him.

Time crawled by. The predicted limit passed, and the Constrictai miners still didn't call.

"We're kinda wasting time here," said Cole idly, looking around. Everyone was lounging in the control room, sprawled on swivel chairs, on the floor, against the control panels. "Maybe we should—"

"No!" protested Lloyd. "No training!"

"I was going to say play Monopoly, but okayyyy," said Cole. He quirked an eyebrow at Jay and Nya. "Well, what about you guys? You wouldn't rather be working on your Tinkertoys or something?"

Jay made a furious noise in his throat. Cole blinked innocently.

"What's that you say?"

Growling again, Jay shook his head and looked pleadingly to Zane. The Nindroid shrugged apologetically. Jay turned instead to Lloyd, who spread his hands.

"Not my line, Jay. I couldn't really get behind it, y'know?"

Jay sighed gustily, looking downtrodden. Nya took pity.

"It is blasphemy, you know," she said, looking up from a coding manual. Jay gave a "hmph!" of victory and nodded, chucking a rolled-up navigation chart at Cole's head to cement the point.

"I'm gonna miss this when you guys are done with that spaceship," said Cole.

More time passed. Kai sighed and rubbed absently at the healing bite wound on his forehead. Lloyd eyed him surreptitiously.

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Just kind of itches. These freaking bats, seriously."

Lloyd swung his feet for a moment, wondering if it would be okay to ask.

"So . . . what does it feel like?" he ventured at last. "Getting bitten by a bat, I mean."

"Pretty cool." A hint of Kai's usual smirk appeared. "It's like these two little needles, you just see them coming at you, _shk!_ —" he made a stabbing fang motion "—and then you can feel them sliming around under your skin."

Lloyd shuddered appreciatively.

"You should worry about bats, Lloyd," said Cole. "They like to fly into people's hair, you know. You'd be prime real estate."

"Psh." Lloyd rolled his eyes. "And you say you aren't running out of hair jokes."

To be fair though, his hair was definitely not getting any shorter; it was nearly brushing the floor as he hung upside-down in a swivel chair. When he sat back upright, the entire mop swished into disarray and tumbled almost down to his eyelashes. Jay shook his head in morose silence, but Cole said just what he was thinking:

"That hair is gonna be the _death_ of you."

"I can see just fine." Lloyd waved impatiently, trying to straighten out his mane.

Just then the computer ringtone started up. Nya leaped to her feet.

"It's them it's them it's them!"

Everyone scrambled up to the call screen as Nya eagerly punched the "answer" button.

"Hello?!"

"Misssss Nya?" Scrubble's shadowed form appeared on the video screen. "We think we've found your tunnels."

"YES!" A barrage of ecstatic cheers went up from everyone except Jay. Scrubble blinked.

"Are you humans always thisssss noisy?" he asked, rubbing his forehead.

"You found them? You found them?" asked Nya eagerly.

"We believe ssssssso." Scrubble sounded tired. "Ssssorry about the delay. We had to slow down for the lassst few feet, because there turned out to be reinforced concrete around the tunnels. The tunnel itssself is lined with metal walls, too. We had some difficulty getting through."

"Metal walls?"

"Yes, it appears to be a very sturdy underground corridor. It sssseems to go a long way in both directions, but we didn't explore it much. That'sssss your job."

"You bet it is!" Cole grinned eagerly. "When can we start?"

"Tomorrow at the soonest. You musssssst first obtain the permission of King Skales to pass through our land. I have already sent word through our mine foreman, and the king will be prepared to meet you tomorrow."

Kai made a disapproving noise in his throat. Nya surreptitiously kicked him in the shin.

"Scrubble, you are amazing," she said. "Thank you so much again to all of you."

"Yes, yesss, our pleasure," said Scrubble, half-grumbling. "Is that all, Missss Nya? I would really apprecccciate some sleep."

"Oh gosh. Sorry! Sure, that's it. G'night Scrubble. Thanks again!"

Nya ended the call and attempted to kick Kai preemptively in the shin again. It didn't do any good.

"What is all this?" he grumbled. "How well—"

Nya gave him a piercing glare.

"I think you're not in any position to lecture _me_ about associating with snakes," she said tartly.

"Did he say _King Skales?_ " Lloyd chipped in. "Is he still their king? We need to get approval from _him?_ "

"Not you too!" groaned Nya.

"Don't tell me you're going to stand up for _him!_ He—"

"No, I'm with Lloyd—" Kai interrupted.

"Oh great, are you _both_ bigots now?!"

"But it's a nest of _snakes!_ "

"Do we know this Skales from before? . . . " Zane ventured bewilderedly, and the room continued to descend into chaos. It was amazing how noisy the argument managed to get even without Jay participating. Not coherently, at least; he made plenty of vehement noises and waved his arms about as necessary.

Cole nearly got dragged into the dispute himself, but soon he remembered himself and started to call (rather uselessly) for quiet.

At last, realizing shouting wasn't about to work, he decided to put his foot down—literally. It wouldn't have worked if the _Bounty_ was in the air, but since it was currently in contact with the ground, when Cole stamped his foot, the entire ship lurched. The walls creaked, trees swayed outside the windows, and everyone was thrown to the floor. A startled silence fell like magic.

"Now then," said Cole sternly as the mini-earthquake died away. As if to emphasize the sudden quiet, something crashed in another room. Cole glanced over his shoulder guiltily, but quickly regained his composure and grew stern again.

"Okay, now there's gonna be a talk," he said.

Sensei Wu appeared in the doorway.

"What is going on in here?"

"Sorry, Sensei," said Cole, nodding respectfully, but refusing to be fazed again. "There was just a bit of a dispute here."

The Sensei nodded in understanding and remained in the doorway, ready to observe and mediate if necessary.

"Okay, you guys," said Cole. "I'm not going to name any names here, and I'm not going to look at anyone in particular. This goes for all of us, okay?"

Some mumbled affirmations. Several of the party, knowing they were the ones who would normally have their names named, looked a bit sullen. Cole took a deep breath.

"So, we're about to descend into Serpentine territory," he said. "We need to get the permission of the Serpentine king to go into a Serpentine mine. And I know that doesn't sit well with some of you."

A few of the others looked like they were about to speak, but Cole held up his hands for silence.

"Now, I'm not going to ask you to change your opinions," he said. "I'm not going to nag you. It's not my place to force you to change. However! You guys all know this—the Serpentine are a peaceful people now. And I'm sure we would all like it to stay that way. When we go down into their territory, I'm going to have to ask all of you—again, not naming any names!—to keep it civil."

"You want _us_ to keep civil?!" blurted Kai. "Remind me who it was who kept saying how much he _hated_ snakes?"

Cole barely flinched. He drew in another deep breath.

"I know. I'm not saying I was any better about this. It was easy to talk trash about them back then. But I'm not saying it was _right_."

"Ohhhh, great. Here comes that line about 'once you get to know them, you realize they're all people just like us'," groaned Kai, making an "on and on and on" motion with one hand.

"Kai." It was more reproachful than threatening. Kai twisted his mouth aside, looking away.

"It's true, though," said Cole gently, looking around at the others. "Come on. I can see where you guys are coming from. I know we used to be enemies. I know we were all brought up to think the Serpentine were evil. And I know some of us have had really lousy experiences with them in the past—distant and not-so-distant." He almost pointedly _didn't_ look at Lloyd and Kai.

"You want to talk lousy experiences?" Lloyd shook his head indignantly. "I was lucky Skales didn't _eat_ me, back when I was a kid! He's done nothing but clash with us on every turn. And now we have to go ask him for _permission_ to walk through his land?! He'll kill us on sight!"

"Come on, we've already been—" Cole stopped. "Ohhh, Lloyd, you weren't with us that time. And Zane, I guess you don't remember it, huh?"

"I think not," said Zane sheepishly. "Remember what?"

"We visited the snakes once before," spoke up Nya. "While we were fighting the Digital Overlord. Lloyd, you were—uhh—well, not with us." She gave Lloyd an apologetic glance, hoping she hadn't brought up any painful memories of his dad. "But anyway, we met Skales. He's got a wife and a kid now."

"He's got a _kid?!_ " yelped Lloyd.

"Yep. Skales Junior. They seemed like a really sweet family," said Nya.

"You would say that," muttered Kai. Nya looked inclined to smack him, but Cole cleared his throat.

"Nya's right. The Serpentine are living peacefully underground, and even Skales seems to have settled down. Now, I'm not asking that you guys suddenly become best friends with the snakes or anything. But you have to admit—they've been trying. They gave people shelter when the Digital Overlord attacked. They joined us against Chen's Anacondrai. They sacrificed their time and energy to dig up the Technician tunnels for us. They didn't have to do any of that, but they did. Even though _they've_ been brought up to think _we're_ the bad guys. Do you think you can give a little back?"

Silence. Everyone looked everywhere else.

"Well spoken," said Wu softly. Cole gave a slight nod of thanks, his eyes still sweeping over his teammates.

"We'll be civil," mumbled Kai at last, looking at the floor. Lloyd nodded faintly, Jay with a little more conviction.

"I do not have a problem with remaining civil," said Zane.

"Thanks, fellas." Cole smiled gratefully. "Nya? Heh; I guess I don't need to convince _you_ to be polite."

"Actually, I don't think I'm coming along," said Nya. Jay made a dismayed sound in his throat.

"Aw, why not?" Cole looked at Nya, surprised. "We could really use a Samurai on the team. Besides, you seem to know a few of the Serpentine, you might be able to help us get along—"

"I'd love to come," sighed Nya. "Really I would. It sounds like it'll be really exciting. But the _Bounty's_ been grounded for ten days now, and I _have_ to get it fixed up. I've been putting it off for too long as it is; with you guys out of the way, I'll finally be able to get some serious work done on it. Besides, somebody has to stay behind to handle incoming calls and all the technology—and respond to any emergencies. We can't just all go run around in tunnels and leave Ninjago unguarded!"

Kai looked satisfied that his sister was going to stay out of harm's way, but Jay shook his head in silent disbelief. As the meeting broke up and Nya tried to explain to Zane all the things he'd forgotten from their first visit to the Serpentine's kingdom, the lightning ninja stayed close by Nya's side, his eyes morose. Meanwhile Sensei Wu stepped up to talk quietly to Cole.

Lloyd disappeared. Kai, finding he wasn't involved in any of the conversations, decided he might as well leave for his country patrol. As he headed down the hall, he heard rummaging coming from the spare room. Poking his head in through the door, he found Lloyd digging through a box full of books.

"Found it," said Lloyd, barely glancing up. "Wow. All these years, and we still have it."

Kai stepped closer as Lloyd held out a tattered-looking picture book. The title on the front read _Little Jack Rabbit_.

"Uncle Wu read me this," said Lloyd softly. "That first night when you guys took me in. When I was little." He flipped the book open to the last page and snorted ruefully. "'Never trust a snake.'"

"Huh," said Kai. They were silent for a bit.

"They wrote freaking _children's books_ about snakes being evil," said Lloyd. "And even Uncle Wu believed it."

"I am not always right, Lloyd."

They both jumped. The Sensei stood in the doorway, his staff in hand.

"Even I have done things I am not proud of," he said quietly. "I grew up hearing the same stories you two did—hearing that the Serpentine were our sworn enemies, monsters, mindlessly evil creatures. But I do not mean that as an excuse—I merely want to show that even those of us who think they are wise may still harbor foolish thoughts." He blinked sadly at the book Lloyd still held. "I regret my part in spreading that hatred."

"But it wasn't that far off, Uncle, was it?" said Lloyd. "Snakes screwed me over all the time when I was little. I know it was the old war and stuff, and they were falsely accused, and they thought _we_ were evil, but . . . well, it's just hard to believe they're _not_ bad."

"I know," said Wu. "I realize you have both had painful experiences with Serpentine."

Lloyd's glance flickered to Kai, who hung his head silently.

"Honestly, I saw humans being just as brutal as Serpentine in the slobber trade," he said after a minute. "It just . . . " He gave a frustrated sigh, shaking his head. "Agh, I don't have an excuse. I'm a bigot, that's all. Period."

"Perhaps we all have been," said Wu. "But times have changed. We have all learned new things—even I. It is up to us now to move firmly into the present, instead of wallowing in the past. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sensei," said Lloyd quietly. Kai nodded. Sensei Wu nodded back and left them in peace.

The two ninja sat next to each other in silence for a while. Lloyd studied the cover of _Little Jack Rabbit_ again.

"Man. And this book actually meant a lot to me," he said at last. "Awkward."

"Yeah?" said Kai.

"Mm." Lloyd chuckled. "Not to get mushy on you, but this was the first bedtime story I ever heard. I still remember that night. It was . . . you know." He shrugged, looking away embarrassedly. "A little kid likes feeling loved for a change."

Kai, feeling a rapid onslaught of creeping nostalgia, leaned forward trying to catch Lloyd's expression. Lloyd looked away harder, then scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Real gooey. And then a few days later I get captured by snakes and nobody bothers to come for me for _three weeks_."

"Ouch." Kai winced guiltily. That'd kinda been his fault. Lloyd gave him a teasing grin, and eventually the red ninja smiled back and ventured a retort.

"Hey, we came for you eventually, didn't we? I seem to remember hopping around inside an _erupting volcano_ trying to save your sorry butt. And what did I get for my troubles, huh?"

"True Potential," said Lloyd, not missing a beat.

"Psh, that? I bet I could've—"

"Also an awesome little brother whom you love very much." Lloyd for once maintained a perfectly straight face.

Kai opened his mouth to offer the next wisecrack, then closed it again. He made a show of searching for an answer, eyeing the ceiling and the corners, then turned back to Lloyd and spread his hands as if to say "you got me there."

"What?! Oh, for—" Lloyd shoved him, laughing. "Don't _agree_ with me! Of all the mushy—"

Kai pulled him into a hug, laughing as well.

"Ah man, you were such a little brat," he said fondly, attempting to noogie Lloyd's scruffy mop of hair. "I forgot how much you'd changed."

Lloyd wriggled his way free, grumbling good-naturedly. He swept his hair back into place and sobered most of the way.

"I guess if I can, Serpentine can too, huh? . . . "

"I . . . guess so." Kai smiled resignedly.

"And it can't be that bad being civil, right?" said Lloyd.

"Sure. I mean, we just chat really quick with Skales, maybe with a mining snake or two, and then we're in the Technician tunnels!" Kai smirked. "It'll be awesome. They won't know what hit 'em."

"Yep. Besides—Skales with a wife and kids!" Lloyd snorted amusedly, sliding to his feet. "This I've gotta see."


	31. Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight

**. . . That's all I can lay claim to, really. XD**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Well, we'll see if he does! They're gonna be doing their best to meet as few snakes as possible, after all. :P**

 **Elveron294: Well thanks! "Morro Can Swing His Sword" was entirely mine, actually. :3 We only collaborate heavily on the parodies; the music videos and shorter funny videos are made by one person, with at most a bit of feedback from the others. ^_^**

 **Lydia: Yeah, there are definitely lots of other Serpentine kids! They showed up briefly during Rebooted while the Nindroids were attacking. I think Skales Junior's name is really Skales Junior, though! He's probably next in line to be snake king, and princes are often given their fathers' names. Maybe when he takes the throne he'll be Skales II. XD**

 **LiaLia15: Woah, thanks for the fancy review! And the marathon read. I would PM you, but you seem to have it disabled. Anyways! No hard feelings, I guess the summary doesn't look like much. I'm bad at those. :P I'm sorry to say that I probably can't be trusted, tho** — **es** **pecially not with character deaths. NO ONE IS SAFE. *flourishes scimitar* Anyways, glad you're enjoying it! Updates are every Tuesday. :)**

 **Eris: Heh, c'mon, didn't you watch that one Season 1 episode called "Never Trust a Snake"? The ninja were mad because they had to train all day and instead little brat Lloyd got a bedtime story from Wu. And the story was "Little Jack Rabbit." I was kind of blown away too, that this kind of thing goes on in Ninjago. Back then though, the Serpentine were just convenient villains, kinda like the wolves in Grimm fairy tales, so it was just the order of business to talk trash about them. Then they had to backpedal in Rebooted. :P**

* * *

 **Sept 12**

 **10:57 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Kai and Jay**

 **Status conditions: Jay unusually quiet**

* * *

The others were gradually working themselves up into a tizzy about the upcoming tunnel mission. Jay, still enforcedly mute, was starting to feel left out.

"Okay, we're going to have to pack really well," said Cole. "Light but thorough. We don't know how long we're going to be rattling around down there. Oh! And Jay, you'll have to tell the NNC police chief that we won't be patrolling the city for a day or few. Kai—"

"Eh-hem." Jay tapped him on the arm.

"What, Jay?"

Jay shook his head mutely and pointed at his mouth, then waved his hands about.

"Ohhh." Cole blinked. "Huh. Well, okay. I guess I can go and talk to the police chief myself . . . "

Jay shook his head again, humming vehemently.

"It might be unwise for him to patrol at all." Zane put in his two cents. "City patrols often require communication with the citizens. Besides which, the Technicians might be on the move again. Should an emergency arise, Jay would be unable to call us for reinforcements."

Jay nodded in agreement, looking pleased as punch.

"But . . . " Cole looked around.

"Don't look at me, I just patrolled yesterday," said Lloyd cheerfully. "So did Zane."

Zane opened his mouth, probably to say that he would be quite all right with taking another patrol, but Lloyd elbowed him surreptitiously in the arm. A chance to gang up on Cole was a rare treat.

"But it's my turn to cook dinner tonight." Cole tried another tack. "I won't be back until—"

"That's all right, I can make dinner tonight," offered Misako. "I'll make you all something special before your mission."

Clearly she'd learned fast about the nature of Cole's cooking.

"But . . . " Cole's eyebrows twitched in irritation. For a while he stood with his arms folded, clearly trying to figure a way out of this. Jay beamed innocently, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Jay did take _your_ city patrol last time," said Nya, sounding like she was trying not to laugh. "Come on, it would even be fair for you to do his now."

Cole heaved a defeated sigh.

"Jay Walker, you suck." He bit back a rueful smile. "Fiiiiine, I'll do it."

Jay silently swung one fist in a "YES! Win!" motion.

"I saw that!" Cole pretended to glare. "If you're so smart, you can stay here and _you_ do all the packing. Wise guy."

Jay spread his hands, his eyes bright with silent laughter. Who'd have thought enforced muteness could have its benefits?

* * *

At first he'd thought he could slack off and cram in lots of work on his invention with Nya, but it soon turned out to be much too difficult to work without being able to talk. Reluctantly he started gathering supplies instead. They always had a stock of lightweight but nourishing rations saved up for missions like this, and Cole was going to pick up some extras after patrol. They'd also need canteens, first-aid supplies, their communicators, compasses, binoculars, hand-crank flashlights, and all manner of other necessities.

Jay set up five backpacks, sighing to himself. He did realize Nya was safer staying at home, but he wished it were six. Really he did.

As he trotted down the hall carrying a large box of provisions, a bola suddenly shot along the floor and wrapped itself around his ankles, sending him sprawling. The box flew out of his hands, scattering protein bars and packets of beef jerky all over the hallway.

"Ack!" Lloyd clapped his hands over his mouth guiltily. "Sorry Jay! I didn't know you were gonna be there."

Jay shook out his head, then looked back at the weighted cord tangling his feet.

"Hey, you got it!" he grinned. Lloyd had been trying to master the bola ever since they learned the Technicians used them.

"Heh, I guess," said Lloyd. Then he laughed. "Hey, _you've_ got it!"

"Huh?" Jay blinked, then realized he could talk again. "Hah! Awesome. Never thought I'd say this, but thanks for knocking me down!"

"Well, I was the one who got you into that mess in the first place," said Lloyd sheepishly.

"Oh yeah." Jay tossed a bag of trail mix at Lloyd's nose. "Forgot about that."

Chuckling, Lloyd started to help gather up the spilled provisions. Nya poked her head out of the control room and came over to help.

"So, the Walker speaks, huh?"

"Yep." Jay looked around. "Oh hey! Since we're all here anyway—Nya, about pranking Kai? . . . "

"Yeah, now's the perfect time to plan!" said Lloyd.

"Well, okay," laughed Nya, scooping up a double handful of protein bars. "Hmmm, let me think . . . Okay, first off, the best kind of prank has to be personalized, right? The kind that would only work for your target."

"Right," said Lloyd approvingly. "But we've been trying all kinds of those, and none of them work. He always sees them coming somehow!"

"Well, here's something," said Nya. "Have you guys ever noticed that Kai is always up early on Friday mornings? Even before the alarm?"

"Oh yeah . . . " said Jay. "So there's a reason for that?"

"Well, I don't think this is a secret or anything, so I'll tell you," said Nya. "There's this really dumb wilderness-survival-zombie-reality-show thing that Kai's crazy about."

" _Walking Survivors?_ " offered Jay. "He talks about it sometimes. He says it's great for learning wilderness skills."

"Yeah, that's his excuse," said Nya, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "Anyway. Thing is, this show is normally on cable or something. The only time it airs on regular networks is realllllllly early on Friday mornings. Like, four AM. That's why he always wakes up really early on Fridays—so he can watch it."

"Ohhhh," said Lloyd. "So you're thinking, something to do with that?"

"I'm thinking, yeah," said Nya. "He probably thinks you guys don't know about it, so he wouldn't be on his guard then. Also, I'm pretty sure he usually gets a soda and snacks while he's watching it. So! That's all the hints I'm gonna give." She winked. "You guys take it easy on him, all right? Nothing toooooo mean."

"Sure thing." Lloyd grinned. "Thanks Nya! We can definitely work with this."

Chuckling, Nya tossed the last of the powdered pemmican into the provisions box and stood up.

"So, now that you're talking, Jay, do you want to cram in some work on the spaceship before you guys leave?"

"Love to!" said Jay eagerly. "Here, lemme just put away this food—"

"You might also want to call Mindy first," said Nya.

"Wh—what?" Jay started.

"Yeah, she called just now." Nya nodded towards the control room. "I told her you'd call her back."

"I—uh—I—" Jay stammered, fumbling the box of provisions. Nya didn't seem to notice; she gave him a nod and disappeared into her workroom.

Oboy. So she'd met Mindy, huh? . . .

Jay stood in the hallway for a moment, chewing his lip. At last he put the provisions down with the backpacks and went to call Mindy.

He took a few moments beforehand to prepare himself. Remember, he told himself sternly; she _has_ a boyfriend. She may be cute, and she may be sweet, and she may be impossible to ignore, but if you can't ignore her, you can at least keep that to _yourself_.

Steeled in resolve, he dialed Mindy's number. Hey, maybe now that he'd convinced himself that she was unavailable, now that he'd patched things up with Nya a little bit, maybe he wouldn't even find her that attractive.

"Oh, hi Jay!"

Nnnnnnope.

"Hi Mindy!" He was smiling already; he couldn't help it. "So, uh, what's up?"

"Just wanted to check in about how your invention's going," she chirped. "I'm _still_ waiting on those pictures, hon."

"Ohhhh. R-right. Sorry about that, I keep forgetting," said Jay sheepishly. "I'll send you some today!"

"So how's it coming?"

"Pretty good. Uhh—we had a couple of, um, setbacks, but it's nothing we can't get through. Although we might have a little bit of delay over the next few days, too—we're going to be away on a mission."

"A mission?"

There it was again; that same faint note of pique he'd heard when he had to leave the Borg Industries formal. Once again he fought back a wave of annoyance.

"Yeah," he said firmly. "We have a very important mission, taking down a very nasty bunch of crooks."

"Oh, really?"

He was probably imagining it, but he couldn't ignore the feeling that she was being condescending. Like you'd talk to a preschooler who was pretending to be a superhero.

"Yeah, really," he said, a little more combatively than he'd intended. "I mean, you've _heard_ about all the electronics thefts lately, right? I bet Borg Industries is even losing a lot of money to those electronics thefts, huh?"

"I've definitely heard some things," admitted Mindy. "Actually, I've been getting all kinds of product ideas from people offering theft-prevention software. If Borg Industries can put out some of that software quick enough, we might actually stand to make something offa this."

"Yeah, well, you better move _really_ fast," retorted Jay. "Because those thefts aren't gonna be going on much longer."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Woah, okay, okay," Mindy chuckled. "Take it easy, hon, no need to get snippy. I believe you."

Jay blushed, subsiding. He suddenly realized he'd probably overreacted.

"Uh, so, yeah," he said at last. "Um, pictures."

"Send a few?"

"Y-yeah. And we'll finish the spaceship on time, don't worry."

"Thanks, Jay," said Mindy. "Good luck with your mission, 'kay?"

"Uhh—yeah, th-thanks."

Jay hung up and slapped a hand to his forehead. Wayyyyyyyy to make a complete idiot of himself. What was it about her that got his goat so bad? Maybe it was just some kind of sour-grapes reaction?

Ugh. Either way, that settled it. Hot, yes. Flirty and cute, yes. Eye candy, oh, yes. Good date material? No. That Nico guy could totally relax. Now if he could just convince Cole to stop singing "You Say She's Just a Friend" at random intervals . . .

Sighing, he fetched Mopp from the kitchen and went down the hall to Nya's workroom. She looked up cheerfully from the blueprints, already tinkering at something with a screwdriver.

"That was quick," she said. "C'mon! This should go much better now that you're not making random humming noises at me all the time."

Jay laughed sheepishly, taking his place across the worktable.

"Go figure, huh? You said all that nice stuff about me being more mature than you expected, and then first thing I do the next morning is glue myself up like some dork."

"Par for the course," retorted Nya, laughing. "I don't even notice that kind of thing anymore; I got used to living with _all_ of you dorks." She snuck a glance at him, smiling. "So last night still stands."

"Awh." Jay looked hastily to his work, blushing all over again. He couldn't help but wonder what Mindy would say in Nya's place. Which reminded him . . .

"Oh," he said. "We should probably take some pictures of the framework, before I forget."

"Pictures?"

"Yeah, uhh—well, Mindy wants to see the ship in-progress, you know?" said Jay awkwardly. "And since she's sponsoring us in the contest and everything, I guess she kinda has a right to see it and stuff—"

"No, you're right," said Nya. "We should probably keep her posted. Here, I'll get a camera. Keep Mopp out of sight, 'kay?"

Jay nodded and set the gurgling alien down on Nya's bed. Mopp promptly rolled himself up in the blankets like a small alien burrito, warbling contentedly. Meep zigzagged into the room and joined him in blanket bliss; soon the two of them were wandering around under the covers as two chirping lumps, evidently thinking they were intrepid cave explorers.

Jay sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Nya circled around the skeleton of the little spaceship, snapping photographs from different angles.

"That should do it," she said at last.

"Thanks, I'll send them later," said Jay, taking the camera. He chewed his tongue, wondering if he should say something more about Mindy, but at last he opted to just get back to work. He and Nya fitted pieces together quietly for a bit.

"So," said Nya at length. "I finally got to talk with Mindy a little. I feel kinda bad about not getting to know her better, seeing as she's sponsoring me without even knowing me and all. She seems nice."

"Yeah, she's . . . she's pretty nice." Jay felt like he had suddenly been handed a case full of live grenades. "But, uh, she's not really into technical stuff. So, not very much to talk about conversation-wise, y'know?"

"I dunno, I thought you two got along pretty well," said Nya, not looking up.

Jay felt his heart do multiple stupid things. Kinda like when Mindy smiled, but better. What was Nya getting at there? She . . . she wasn't trying to figure out his and Mindy's relationship status, was she?

"Well sure, we get along, but not like _really_ well," he blurted without thinking. "I mean, it's not like we _could,_ she already has a boyfriend and everything!"

Now Nya looked up. Jay stopped. Oh _shoot_. Him and his big mouth . . . he could have smacked himself.

"I mean, n-not like you were asking about that or anything," he stammered. "N-no idea why I mentioned that, haha . . . totally irrelevant information, didn't mean anything by it, not suggesting any . . . thing . . . "

He trailed off. Nya was still looking at him, an odd expression on her face. Jay sighed, letting his head drop.

"I'm sorry. There I go again, huh? We'd just barely started acting normal around each other, everything was going great, and now I go and bring up dating again and wreck it. I don't mean to pressure you, honest, I—I just—"

"No, hold on," interrupted Nya. "I . . . well, you caught me. I guess I kinda _was_ wondering how close you and Mindy are. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been using dumb subtle tricks like that."

"No, it was my fault," insisted Jay. "I—"

"No, no, it was—"

"But I—"

"Wait, woah." Nya held up one hand. "Uh, how about we stop apologizing here and just talk like normal human beings for a second?"

"Uhm." Jay gulped, fiddling aimlessly with two loose NanoKlix. "Look, I was okay with us being friends, really. I know I put too much pressure on you before, and I don't want to do that again."

"I know," said Nya quietly. "I have to say, I liked that. It's been nice to hang out with you and not feel like I _have_ to date you. I mean, not to say I didn't like dating you before, just . . . well, you were so crazy about me, I felt like I didn't even have a choice about liking you back. It felt like it'd be cruel not to."

"I know, I—"

"Ah!" Nya stopped him. "No apologies." She smiled at Jay's sheepish look. "It's okay. I've let you down a lot, on my end of it. That whole . . . _thing_ happened . . . and I guess we were both kind of stupid about it. I think we should both move on."

"I know," said Jay, trying to remain offhanded. "I understand."

"Hold on. See, the thing is . . . " Nya drew in her breath. "Well, now that we've been hanging out like this, I feel like I got to _really_ know you. I got to see you as a _person_ , not just the cute guy who's crazy about me so we have to date. And . . . well . . . you're pretty cool. We like the same things, we understand each other's jargon. We can relate on a lot of stuff we never even talked about before."

Jay stared mutely, eyes wide. Avoiding his gaze, Nya bit her lip sheepishly.

"I do realize this is kinda horrible of me. I started all that fuss, broke us up, put you and Cole through all that drama, and you finally decided you were okay with just being friends. And now that I can't have you, the minute it looks like you might be interested in someone else, suddenly I want you back." She gave a weak laugh. "Wow. Putting that in words, I sound like the villain of some cheap romance novel."

"H-hold up a sec." Jay struggled not to sound excited. They had _just_ been over that whole "pressuring her to like him" thing. "Are you—well, what exactly are you saying here?"

"Look, I-I don't want to make things awkward . . . " Nya rubbed her thumbs together, still looking away. "I just . . . would you want to try it again?"

" _Would_ I?" Jay reached across the table and grabbed her hands. "You're serious? You really want to try again?"

"Do you?'

"Heck, yes!" Jay was entirely beyond hiding his excitement by now; he was pretty sure there must be anime stars in his eyes. "Would I ever!"

Nya couldn't hold back a grin. Jay grinned back, and they both started to laugh giddily, still holding hands tightly across the table.

"Oh gosh, I'm scared, Jay," said Nya between giggles. "What if it doesn't work out again?"

"Don't worry, we'll take it slow this time!" Jay pulled her around the end of the table and swung them both around in a circle. "We'll ease into it onnnnne step at a time, no pressure, getting real comfy in every stage. Heck! We'll both be old and gray before we even kiss! That's how slow we'll take it!"

"That's not funny." Nya shook herself free and shoved him playfully. "Jay Walker, are you making fun of me?"

"I dunno! Am I? You tell me!" Jay threw his arms into the air, then swept Nya into a hug and spun around, both of them still laughing. From the bed, Meep and Mopp observed them solemnly. Meep waved one stubby tentacle and burbled as if to say, _and this, Mopp, is what happens when humans lose their minds. Rather sad, isn't it?_

The humans themselves were paying less than zero attention to the aliens just now. Jay could feel Nya's breath tickling his neck, her heart beating against his ribcage; his own heart felt like it was about to turn inside-out from joy.

"So . . . for now, do we just go on just the same?" he said, nuzzling against Nya's hair a little.

"I guess. Just, you know—kinda going forward knowing we don't _have_ to just be friends." Nya gave him a final squeeze and pulled back. "Is that gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, definitely." Jay pressed his hands to her forearms, allowing himself to gaze into her eyes for a moment. "Aw man, now I really wish you were coming with us . . . "

"Yeah, me too." Nya smiled ruefully. "The stupid _Bounty_ really needs fixing, though."

"I know." Jay sighed.

The moment was broken by a strangled cry of _eeeeeeEEEEEE!_ coming from the direction of Nya's bed. The aliens had managed to mess up the bedclothes to the point that they were sliding off Nya's bed, and Mopp was on the verge of sliding with them. Meep was hauling desperately at his smaller friend, trying to keep him on the mattress.

"Whoop, easy there," said Jay, and came to their rescue.

"How did they manage to make this much of a mess in that few minutes?" said Nya, picking her blanket up from the floor. "I'm going to have my hands full keeping an eye on them while you guys are gone. They always get depressed when you're away for too long."

"Awwww. You guys miss me?" grinned Jay, rubbing the aliens' heads fondly.

"It's all cute until they take apart the toaster in protest," said Nya.

"They're just taking after their dad," said Jay, straight-faced. "Heck, I took apart a couple of appliances myself, back in my day."

"Experimenting on junked appliances is one thing; at least you weren't taking apart your mom's electric mixer."

"Uhh, well . . . actually . . . "

"Jay Walker." Nya laughed. "I'm appalled."

"Yep. I have a dark and sinister past as an assassin of electric mixers," said Jay, popping Mopp into his hood and standing up. "Gimme a wrench and I'll tell you about it while we work."

* * *

 **A/N: Annnnnd the Jaya-shaped hole is officially refilled. *leans on shovel, mopping forehead***

 **What can I say? The plan all along was to let those two have a little space so they could rebuild their relationship _right_. Mutual respect, equal desire to be a couple, lots of common interests. No morra this "Jay's infatuated, Nya's lukewarm" stuff.**

 **That said, there's this song by Billy Joel called "For the Longest Time." I'm trying to imagine Jay singing it to Nya all shyly, getting flustered on the sassy parts, and I may or may not be squeeing slightly. These crazy kids.**


	32. Move Over, Bad Luck Brian

**I mean, this Walker guy is all _right_. But y'know who's _really_ fantastic?**

 **Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu guys!**

 **Thank you so much for over 300 reviews! I'm just floored at how sweet and generous all of you are being with your time, not only reading this meandering little trainwreck but also leaving such encouraging feedback. I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am!**

 **Mannnnnn, though. What if this reaches 500 reviews someday? I don't even know what I'd hafta do. How does a Truth or Dare the Author sound to you guys? XD**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Heh; you have excellent taste. XD I'm afraid there's going to be a bit of a delay, but will it tide you over if I tell you that Lloyd** ** _will_** **eventually meet Skales Junior? At the very _least_ briefly. **

**Guest/JayaForever412: Thank you!**

 **Elveron294: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. :) As to the questions, nope! Jay is one of my least favorites** — **that's partly why I decided to write about him! For the challenge. Right now my favorites are Lloyd and Cole. Just, this bundle of adorable sassy ghostiness . . . I can't even. X3 Favorite ships are Ronya (Ronin X Nya), Lloydille (Lloyd X Chamille from the Tournament of Elements), and to a degree Conya. I'm pretty okay with Kailor, Jaya, and Garsako. I also "broship" Greenflame and Bruise.**

 **LiaLia15: No worries! I just thought it might be more comfortable for both of us to chat over PMs. If you're okay with this though, so'm I! If you do want to change the PM settings, try going to "Account" and then "Settings." There should be an option near the bottom to enable or disable PMs; don't forget to hit "Save." :) At any rate; glad you liked the Jaya!**

* * *

 **Sept 12**

 **2:43 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Kai and Jay (Cole subbing)**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

The hours whipped by as the two inventors worked feverishly on their spaceship. Jay still couldn't look at Nya without feeling a burst of joy go through him. He'd thought finding the tunnels and defeating the Technicians was the most exciting thing that could possibly happen, but now he felt like the really interesting part would start _after_ that . . .

Zane came over for some drawing practice. If he noticed that Jay and Nya seemed a little loopier than usual, he didn't comment; he was trying to teach himself how to draw things from angles he hadn't seen before. It wasn't going all that well.

"It's sorta . . . Cubist," said Nya, studying his artwork. "You know, uh, like Picasso."

"Is that good?" asked Zane. Clearly he was making a mental note to look up Picasso. Or actually looking him up already, who knew what went on in his head.

"It was good for Picasso, that's for sure," said Jay.

"Hmmm." Zane studied his drawing thoughtfully. There were several limbs attached in the wrong places, and the head was facing in a direction that probably wasn't anatomically possible, but honestly it did look a little Picasso-ish.

Meanwhile, Nya glanced out the window at a distant flash of red.

"Oh, Kai's back."

Jay stiffened.

"Yikes! If Kai's back, Cole's gonna be back soon too! I haven't packed our stuff!" He fumbled with a couple of tools, spilling NanoKlix off the edge of the table. "Sorry Nya, I've gotta get to work! Cole's already gonna give me a hard time about not patrolling, if he finds out I didn't pack either, I'll never hear the end of it. I'll come back when I've got it done, 'kay?"

"Sure, sure! Go!" Nya made a hastening motion. "Do you want some help?"

"I'm good, thanks!" Jay was already scampering down the hallway.

He worked furiously for a few minutes, slinging protein bars into backpacks willy-nilly. Once he'd run out of rations, he headed out to look for the flashlights. Hopefully Kai would already have gone to the bunkroo—

Jay skidded to a halt in the hall, mentally groaning. Kai was still in the doorway.

"Oh, uh, hi," said Jay as brightly as he could manage, hoping Kai wouldn't think to squeal to anyone about the unfinished packing.

"Hey," grunted Kai, his voice strained. Jay blinked. Suddenly he realized that the fire ninja was leaning heavily on the doorknob, his teeth clenched. He was standing on one foot, barely touching the other to the floor; the ankle was swollen and slightly purple.

"What the—" Jay's eyes widened. "Dude, you're hurt!"

"I _know_ ," gritted Kai, gripping the doorframe. He tried to put his right foot down a little more heavily, then jolted all over and quickly lifted it back up again.

"What happened?" demanded Jay.

"It's not important—"

"Not important?! What—"

"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" Kai began to lurch down the hall, leaning a hand against the wall. "I can't let Sensei know about this."

"Say what?! How do you plan to keep this a secret? You can barely stand!" Jay caught at Kai's arm to support him, looking him over worriedly. "Okay, I'm getting Nya and the first-aid kit right now."

"No, don't!" Kai caught at his wrist, his grip unnecessarily tight from pain. "Forget that, I know a better way. I know Sensei has a special tea that heals injuries extra-fast. I know it could heal my ankle, and I know he's got some stashed in his room. And you're gonna help me get it."

"You want to _break into Sensei's room?_ " Jay stared at him in dismay. "Forget it!"

"Come on already," hissed Kai. "If he finds out about my ankle, he'll make me stay at home for the tunnel mission. I'm not going to sit this one out! I can't!"

"Well, you probably should," said Jay, shaking his head vehemently. "I don't care how fancy Sensei's tea is, it couldn't heal _that_ leg well enough to run around on by tomorrow! You might hurt it perm—"

"Jay, come on." Kai stopped and took a deep breath, hanging his head. "Please."

". . . Arrrrrgh." Jay looked away, trying to harden his heart. He made the mistake of catching the fire ninja's eye.

"Please?" said Kai again. The others might tease him about his ego, but honestly—watching his pride crumble enough to plead kind of hurt.

"You seriously have a death wish, don't you?" Jay heaved a sigh. "You're going to owe me _so_ big."

* * *

Jay ran some subtle reconnaisance. Sensei had gone out meditating in the woods somewhere. Misako was reading a book, Nya was still working on the spaceship, and Lloyd and Zane were playing video games. When he was reasonably sure none of the others were around to see, Jay helped Kai limp down the hall and slip into Sensei Wu's room.

"I still can't believe this," groaned Jay under his breath. The musty tea scent and soft light in the room did nothing to slow down his pounding heart. "This is stupid on SO many levels."

"Stop complaining and help, would you?" groaned Kai. He was sitting awkwardly on the floor with his bad ankle stretched out, rummaging through the boxes and bags set in the corner. Some strange-looking plants were spread out to dry on a tea towel; Kai picked up a sprig and sniffed at it experimentally.

"Nope . . . " he mumbled, and went back to the boxes.

"Be careful how you push those around," Jay fretted. "You know how Sensei is. He doesn't miss a thing. We've gotta leave this room _exactly_ how we found it, or he'll know. Heck, maybe he'll know no matter what we do! Maybe he can smell our fingerprints or something!"

"Jay, will you shut up with the paranoid yapping and _help_ already?" snapped Kai.

Jay bit his tongue on an angry reply. Kai was drenched in sweat, breathing unevenly; he looked ready to hurl. It was asking too much to expect him to be good-tempered as well.

They found the tea at last, in a small battered box. Cursing their lack of foresight, Kai only just _now_ set on some water to boil. Jay set to work bandaging Kai's swollen ankle as they waited for the tea to steep.

"I'd ask how you got this, but I'd probably be sorry I did," he sighed. Kai grunted, his teeth clenched.

"Are you sure it's not broken?"

"Yeah, yeah." Kai shuddered as Jay tightened the bandages.

"Sorry." Jay finished as gently as he could and sat back, sighing heavily. They were silent for a moment, the only sound the soft hiss of the water heating. Jay almost forgot to be panicked.

"Thanks for doing this," said Kai at last. Jay looked at him sidewise. He knew this had to be hard for Kai, relying so heavily on someone else—especially someone younger. His face was still a little tight with pain, but there was also a miserable look in his eyes that had nothing to do with that. A weird combination of shame, defiance, and a rare regret at his own recklessness. Jay reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

"No problem." He cracked a smile. "But you're still going to owe me like crazy."

"I know, I remember." Kai managed to smirk back. "Heck, I might even be nice to you for a day or two."

"Ugh, no way. I wouldn't know what to do with it."

Kai chuckled shakily.

Eventually the tea was ready. Kai poured a cup, sniffed at it cautiously, and took a sip. Then his eyes flew open wide and he spat it out again, dropping the cup.

"Kai?" Jay looked at him, alarmed. Kai tried to answer, but ended up retching instead.

" _What_ . . . " he finally managed, one hand still over his mouth, "is _in_ this stuff?!"

"Is it bad?"

"Horrible!" Kai groaned, still coughing as he looked at the tea box. "Did I pick an emetic by mistake or something?"

"What if it's poison?" asked Jay anxiously.

"No, this is the right stuff . . . " Kai groaned again. "Oh my gosh. This is going to suck."

He poured himself another cup and surveyed it with a pained expression, then slowly began to sip at it. Jay set to work drying up the spilled tea (luckily the cup hadn't broken), eyeing Kai cautiously all throughout. It looked like every swallow was a struggle against the gag reflex.

"I swear this stuff has side uses as an emetic," gasped Kai, finally finishing the entire dose. Shaking his head, Jay washed that cup as well and reached down to help Kai to his feet. Or in this case, foot.

"Man oh man," he murmured, slinging Kai's arm over his shoulders. "You just love making life tough for yourself, don't you pal?"

"Don't make me talk," mumbled Kai through gritted teeth. "I'll throw up on you."

* * *

Kai guessed the medicinal tea would probably start to work in twelve hours at most. He stayed in his bunk reading a book for a long while, his bandaged foot hidden under the covers.

Meanwhile Jay tried to finish the packing. Unfortunately, Cole returned home minutes later, and that made wandering around collecting supplies a no-no.

"Awh great, so you can talk now?" The earth ninja feigned irritation when Jay said hi. "I bet you got your voice back like five minutes after I left."

"You bet." Jay grinned. "Sooooo, how was that city patrol?"

"Wise guy." Cole grumbled off to the kitchen, looking for a snack. As soon as he opened the cupboard, Meep leaped out at him in an explosion of pretzels.

"Yagh!" Cole tumbled backwards among a shower of snack foods. "Jay!"

"Whoops." Jay appeared in the doorway, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry about that. I was, uh, teaching the aliens how to play hide-and-seek. They're pretty good."

"Ohhh, so that's how you've been spending your time?" Cole glared, plucking Meep off his head.

"Nag, nag, nag. Geez!" Jay disappeared before any further questions could be asked.

"Jay," Cole's voice drifted from the kitchen. "Your alien has been tearing open every bag of snacks we have."

Gulping, Jay hastily ducked out of earshot.

* * *

Kai's leg was already a lot better by dinnertime. He covered the bandages with his pants leg and somehow made it to the mess hall without anyone noticing his limp.

Dinner went by uneventfully—Misako had indeed cooked up a lovely meal. Kai ate slowly and asked for seconds, doing a crossword puzzle in the meantime. He was hoping to hold out until everyone else had gotten up and left.

Sensei Wu returned midway through the meal and joined them, chatting peacefully (if a little unclearly). He was always a bit blissed-out after these long nature meditation sessions.

"Sensei, what happened to your hands?" asked Zane suddenly.

"Ah, this," smiled Sensei Wu, ruefully turning over his hands to reveal the dark blotches all across them. "Yesterday I was out harvesting Silver Luckweed for a medicinal tea. It is a very unusual plant—it only grows in soil above lodes of buried silver. Miners used to look for it to tell where they could find precious metals—that is why it is called Luckweed."

"But why would it stain your hands?"

"The plant absorbs silver leaching into the soil and creates silver nitrate, which deters animals from eating it. It also stains skin several hours after contact. It is harmless though, and the stains will go away after a while."

"Wow. Plants do some seriously weird things to avoid getting eaten," said Cole.

Kai was looking ill all over again. As the others finally left, Jay shot him a questioning look. He lingered behind until even the Sensei was gone.

"What's wrong? Is your ankle acting up?"

"The ankle's doing great," groaned Kai. "But you heard what Sensei said!"

"What, about the plant? So what?"

"That plant that he was drying in his room—that must have been the Luckweed. And I touched it!" Kai held out his hands despairingly. "It's going to stain me too, and then he'll know I was in there."

"Ohhhhhhh." Jay gulped. "Shoot."

"Ugh. Why did I touch that stupid plant?" Kai let his face drop into his arms. "All that trouble, and now I'm just going to get busted anyway."

" _We're_ going to get busted," corrected Jay glumly.

"Nuh-uh." Kai lifted his head and shook it. "Not you. I'm not dragging you down with me."

"Come on, Sensei's not dumb. He'll know you couldn't possibly sneak into his room on a bad ankle, not without anyone helping you," said Jay. "He's gonna catch us both eventually, no matter what we do! I'd rather face the music now than have to go through one of Sensei's 'now we are serious' interrogations."

They both shuddered. Kai still looked stubborn, though.

"My ankle's a lot better now," he said. "Sensei won't know how bad it used to be. He can't be _sure_ I couldn't have done it on my own."

"And what, you plan to lie to him?"

"W—well, no . . . " Kai stammered. "I just . . . won't mention you."

"Forget it, pal." Jay waved a hand. "I knew what I was signing up for, I agreed to it, and I'm not bailing on you now. Period."

"I'm telling you, I'm _not_ letting you get into trouble because of me!"

"And I'm not letting you get in trouble alone!"

"The debate is closed," said a quiet voice from the doorway. Kai and Jay fell silent, their eyes meeting in resignation. Then they both sighed and turned to the Sensei.

* * *

"I don't even know who it was," sighed Kai. "They'd snuck out the back of an electronics store, and when I tried to follow them they ran for it. They started to run in a rocky place, some rocks slid away from under my feet, and I ended up spraining my ankle like an idiot."

"How'd you make it home?" Jay couldn't help asking.

"Honestly, I don't know," said Kai. Maintaining an elemental dragon while in pain was almost impossible.

"So, you thought my tea could help you," said Wu. "Why did you not simply ask me for it?"

"I . . . I thought you would say I wasn't healed enough, and you'd make me stay at home for the tunnel mission," mumbled Kai.

"Would I do that if there was not a good reason to?"

"I . . . " Kai hung his head. Next to him Jay looked away, wincing. Wu was focusing all his questions on Kai, but this conversation was painful for both of them.

"Am I the enemy, Kai?" said Wu quietly. "Am I someone with unreasonable demands that you must work around? Do you feel like you must hide things from me in order to do what's best for you?"

Kai shut his eyes, swallowing hard.

"Kai." Wu put a hand on his shoulder. "I am not angry. But I will admit I am disappointed in the two of you."

"It's not Jay's fault." Kai looked up hastily. "I badgered him into it. He didn't want to do it, Sensei, it was all me, I—"

"Wait," said the Sensei. "Kai. I understand that you want to keep your brother out of trouble, and I admire that. But neither of you is in trouble."

"W . . . we're not?" Kai blinked.

"I think you understand what you've done," said Wu. "Can I have your promise that you will come to me the next time something like this happens?"

"Yes, Sensei," said Kai fervently. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," said Jay in a small voice.

"Never mind, then. It is all right," said Wu, squeezing Kai's shoulder. "I'm just glad you are not severely injured. Do you mind if I check your ankle to make sure it is healed?"

"Uh—s-sure. Thanks." Kai sat down on the mess hall bench and swung his leg onto it, unwinding the bandages. Wu crouched down to feel carefully at his ankle, testing the muscle, bone, and tendon. Jay plunked down on the other end of the bench with a relieved smile. That had ended so much better than he'd thought it would.

"That tea is really amazing," ventured Kai, smiling wanly. "I can see why it's not available on the general market, though. Tasted nasty."

"There is that, yes," said Sensei. "Also, if prepared incorrectly, it can be extremely poisonous."

"Oh." Kai blanched. "Uh—"

"No, you are fine," said Sensei Wu. "If it had been poison, we would certainly know by now."

"Oh." Kai looked slightly dizzy.

"And that," said Wu, "is why you do not take any of my teas without asking."

At last the Sensei was satisfied with his examination.

"You seem to have healed well," he said. "You should be able to go on the mission safely. The tea does an incomplete job, however, so try to be gentle with that leg as much as possible until it is fully healed."

"Yes Sensei." Kai stood up. "Uh—thank you. A-and sorry again."

The Sensei nodded, smiling slightly through his beard.

"It is getting late, and you all have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. You may go."

Kai and Jay bowed respectfully and slipped out the door.

Once they were out in the hallway, they both simultaneously breathed sighs of relief.

"Urgh." Kai covered his face with his hands. "Sensei really knows how to kill a guy . . . "

"I'm glad I wasn't in your shoes," admitted Jay. "Hey, thanks for sticking up for me."

"Least I could do," said Kai. He fell silent, looking at his feet.

"You okay?" asked Jay.

"Ah, I dunno." Kai grimaced. "Just . . . I've been screwing up a _lot_ lately. The slobber trade, the whole thing with Nya, Cole telling me off about the snakes, now this . . . "

"You're a trainwreck," agreed Jay glumly. Kai gave him a "gee, thanks" look. Jay shoved him gently, rolling his eyes.

"I was just kidding, geez. We all screw up now and then." He grinned. "You just do it in concentrated chunks."

"Ha, ha." Kai elbowed him in return, and for a moment they nudged each other back and forth playfully. Kai finally pulled back, letting Jay have the last push.

"Ah, I'm going to bed. Sensei's right, we have to be in top shape tomorrow."

"Gonna be awesome, huh?"

"Heck yeah." Kai smiled. "What, aren't you going to bed too?"

"Uhh—still have a few things to take care of," hedged Jay. Actually, what with one thing and the other, he still hadn't finished packing all their supplies.

"Well, okay. 'night, then." Kai stopped by the bunkroom door. For a second he hesitated; then he coughed awkwardly. "Uh, and by the way—sorry if things got a little, you know, awkward back there. Sensei seems to have this weird idea that I need a father figure or something. Dunno where he gets it from."

Jay looked Kai up and down for a second, remembering the look in his eyes as Sensei Wu put a hand on his shoulder and told him it was all right.

"Yeah," he said at last. "How crazy is that."

* * *

Jay waited till he was pretty sure everyone was asleep. He took the opportunity to email those spaceship photographs to Mindy, then began to sneak back and forth gathering up the last of the supplies. He hoped Cole hadn't noticed the half-packed backpacks lying around.

When he got to the spare room, however, he stopped in dismay. The backpacks were lying flopped on the floor, clearly empty. The ninjas' communicators were neatly lined up in a row before them, and Meep was settled in the corner, studiously putting all the provisions back in their original box.

"Meep!" Jay stared.

" _Eeeeeee!_ " said the alien, gesturing his tentacles proudly. Evidently he thought he had done Jay a great service by tidying up all those protein bars lying sloppily in bags all over the room.

"Meeeeep," groaned Jay, dragging a hand down his face.

" _Ahhh?_ " Meep looked concerned. Jay sighed; he didn't have the heart to get angry, especially considering how hard it must have been for Meep to use his stubby, imprecise little tentacles to stack provisions neatly in a box.

"See, the thing is, pal, we _want_ the food out of the box," he said, gently shooing the alien aside. "G'wan, go and keep Mopp company, all right?"

He redestributed all the provisions, then found that many of the other supplies had mysteriously gone missing. Meep apparently had some unorthodox ideas about where things belonged. There followed an unplanned stealthy scavenger hunt all over the ship, trying not to wake the others. Freaking aliens . . . and just on the night he really needed sleep, too.

Finally he found everything. Pausing in the hallway to run a mental checklist of supplies, he sighed tiredly. What a day. It felt like it had taken forever for the wait to end, but now they were finally about to make another strike at the Technicians. Who knew what lay ahead of them tomorrow . . . he hoped they wouldn't be underground too long. He couldn't wait to get back to Nya.

Bone-tired, he tiptoed into the bunkroom and flopped gratefully into his bunk. It grumbled indistinctly and pushed him out. For a moment he lay sprawled on the floor and blinked up at this anomaly, but then he remembered that Cole had wanted to switch bunks.

"You suck," he mumbled under his breath. He climbed into the lower bed, settled down, and sighed. The springs sagged a bit in the middle of the mattress, and even though the sheets had been washed and probably swapped, the pillow still smelled faintly of that weird shampoo Cole always used.

A soft bumping sound came from the door, and a pale form drifted into the room, chirping ever so quietly. Jay smiled and shifted a little to take Meep in, ready to forgive and forget—but the alien drifted right on past him and disappeared into the top bunk, where he usually slept. Jay huffed and settled down again, feeling unloved and righteously sorry for himself.

Within seconds though, there was a scuffle from overhead and Meep suddenly darted back into sight. The little alien swished to the lower bunk and swiveled one mollusk eye at Jay, checking if he had the right ninja this time. Then he chirped approvingly and nested himself into the blankets.

Jay felt a slightly smug smile creep across his face.

"Somebody's got good taste," he murmured, and tucking Meep under his arm, fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Ahh, don't mind those two, they love each other to bits. They just have messed-up ways of showing it.**

 **Apologies to the late Brian Jacques for stealing the "staining plant" theme. I forget which book it was in, but in that one it was actually a trick to catch a thief** — **they pretended that handling a certain plant would cause stains to appear on your hands later, and the only way to get rid of them was with a special liquid. But it was actually the "cleaning" liquid that would cause stains, and when the thief tried to wash his hands he would be marked out.**

 **Silver Luckweed isn't a real plant. But silver nitrate really does stain your skin several hours later. I had a scare after Chemistry lab one day. :P**


	33. You Shall Not Pass

**Angel Star Ninja: He'd better! He got Jay into that trouble in the first place. XD Ooh, and by the way! Look who's heeeeeeere in this chapter~! :3**

 **Elveron294: Well, thank you kindly! Hee hee. He's an** ** _earthy_** **guy. Yeah, Kai's pretty awesome too! All the ninja have their good points. Heh, you saw that one, huh? My channel partners are a bit peeved; I'm always the one putting up videos that require a "mature language/content" warning beforehand. XD And you may have a point there! I've noticed everything's been getting much more lively now that summer's hit. Fun times!**

 **Ninja Pony: Aww, thank you! Glad you're having fun. :)**

* * *

 **Sept 13**

 **6:30 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg**

* * *

"Today's the day!" sang Lloyd as the alarm went off. Jay sat up eagerly, and promptly smacked his head against the bunk above him.

"Ohhhhh, you just had to switch bunks, huh Cole?" he groaned under his breath, rubbing his scalp.

Just at that moment Cole swung out of bed, found the floor wasn't where he expected, and landed with a startled "oof!" in a flurry of blankets. Jay burst out laughing.

"Okay, I hate to say it, but you deserved that a _little_."

"Deserved it? I haven't even done anything yet." Cole glared at the ceiling sleepily. "Is this because of the freakin' turtles again?"

"No. It's because you exist." Jay leaned over the edge of the bed to plop his pillow unceremoniously onto Cole's face. "And by the way, take your creepy pillow back. It's got your creepy shampoo all over it."

"Ewwww, no thanks." Cole threw it back. "You've already been drooling on it all night."

"So? My drool isn't as creepy as your shampoo!"

"Jay. Pause for a moment and think about that sentence."

Meanwhile, Lloyd was attempting to club a groggy Kai into wakefulness with a pillow.

"You can't sleep in! Today is tunnel day!"

"Tunnel days are for sleeping." Kai burrowed farther under the covers.

"No sleeping! We have Technicians to punch! It's gonna be awesome."

"I sense success in our future!" said Zane brightly, as his falcon hopped excitedly about on the headboard. The poor critter hadn't yet realized it was going to be left behind—underground tunnels were no place for a bird.

"My drool is not creepy." Jay and Cole were still bantering on their way out of the bunkroom. "I will lick you and prove it."

"Please do not lick me."

"You should lick his shampoo," said Zane. "That would provide a definitive comparison."

"I am not licking his creepy shampoo!"

"And believe me, I wouldn't let you. Yuck."

* * *

Kai and Jay were both a little woozy during breakfast—Kai had apparently had a particularly nasty bout of nightmares—but they couldn't stay groggy for long. The team's excitement was escalating by the minute; breakfast was one long jittery sequence of bantering and waving silverware. Actually eating came second.

The final checks and the goodbyes started. Lloyd hugged his mom and patiently promised several times to be careful out there; he was grateful that she'd chosen to say her farewells in private. Not only was it the sort of thing that made teenagers awkward, he also worried how it might make the others feel—Jay being the only other one of them with a surviving mother.

Meanwhile, Jay and Nya got together for one last fervent session of spaceship construction. The NanoKlix were practically flying. For good measure, Nya was simultaneously going over the details of falcon care with Zane, who was a little anxious and suddenly remembered a whole bunch of last-minute things he had to explain to her.

"Don't worry Zane, I promise I'll be the best falcon-sitter that ever was," said Nya patiently, tightening bolts at a furious pace. "You can relax."

"Guys, we have to leave in like ten minutes!" Cole called from the hallway. "Is this _really_ the time to be working on your Tinkertoys?"

"BLASPHEMY!" Jay grabbed up a twisted handful of NanoKlix, bolted them furiously into a boomerang shape, and hurled it across the room. It glanced off the door, smacked against the opposite wall, and vanished; it could be heard clattering off walls all down the hallway. Then there was a startled "ouch!" from Cole.

"Vengeance!" Jay shook his fist in the air before diving back to work. "Nya, where's the three-stud L connector?!"

"Here, here. We're almost done! We can get the framework finished before you leave!" said Nya excitedly. "Zane, help us out, could you? Hand over that X-joint."

A few minutes later, Kai materialized in the doorway.

"Uh, guys, Cole says we've gotta leave like—"

"DONE!" whooped Nya and Jay simultaneously, high-fiving.

"Yes! We did it!" Laughing, Jay tried to high-five Zane as well. The Nindroid took a moment to catch on, but responded wth a will.

"Okayyyyyy," said Kai. "Well, anyway, we leaving for those tunnels or not?"

"Okay, okay, keep your hair on," said Jay, waving dismissively and stepping back to look over the finished framework. As Zane trotted out the door, the lightning ninja lingered by the worktable for a second, trying to catch Nya's eye. She gave him a smile.

"Come back safe and soon, okay?" she said quietly. Jay nodded, then reached over to give her hand a quick, fervent squeeze before following Zane.

Smiling bittersweetly, Nya turned to begin tidying up the scattered building equipment. Her expression shifted just a little bit when she saw Kai still standing in the doorway.

"What," she said, not harshly, but a little guardedly.

"I just wanted to say goodbye," said Kai, fiddling with the doorknob.

"Oh."

A moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Look, I—I'm sorry about the last few days," said Kai. "And everything."

"Don't worry about it," said Nya. "Just . . . be careful out in those tunnels, okay?"

Kai nodded, chewing his tongue. All of his life and all of Nya's, their family hadn't really been the type to say "I love you" or anything like that. They'd never really needed to put it into words; by now it felt downright weird to think of saying it out loud. But a part of him wanted to, wanted the reassurance of making it official, wanted to make sure Nya knew, if the worst should happen, that he hadn't been angry at her when he left.

"Yeah, I'll . . . I'll be careful," he sighed at last, and turned away.

"Hang on," said Nya suddenly. Kai turned back just in time for her to throw her arms around him.

"Awwh, sis . . . " Smiling, he wrapped his arms around her in return. For just a moment he thought of when they'd both been little kids, back when Nya had hugged him like this all the time, called him "big bruvver," looked up to him like he was the world's greatest hero. Back when he'd promised himself to live up to that, whatever it took. He could have cried.

Nya gave a little sigh, drawing away.

"In all the stories it's always that _one_ time you don't say goodbye properly that they don't come back," she mumbled, tucking back her hair to avoid meeting his eyes. "So now you hafta come back."

"I'll come back." Kai ruffled her hair back up again, gave her a smile, and loped off to join the others.

* * *

They shunted Kai through the clinic for his second dose of rabies vaccine. Then they found an out-of-the-way manhole cover where they could slip into the sewers without attracting too much attention, after which it only took a few minutes to locate a wandering Serpentine. He was a little suspicious, but when they said they had business with King Skales he pointed them in the right direction.

Soon they were within sight of the heavy stone doorway that led to the Serpentine's underground kingdom. A soft yellow light glinted from beyond it, generated by sunlight lanterns.

Subconsciously their steps all slowed a little.

"Remember, guys," said Cole. "Just be civil. We only need to speak to Skales, then the mining Constrictai, and we'll be on our way!"

"Relax. You won't even know I'm here," said Kai.

A Fangpyre suddenly shot from the stone doorway and down the tunnel, heading towards the sewers. When she caught sight of the ninja, she screeched to a sudden halt and regarded them, wide-eyed. Cole opened his mouth to ask if they could come in, but before he could say anything the snake had already turned and scurried onwards.

"Not very popular, are we?" said Jay glumly.

"Are they _all_ gonna act like that when they see us?" Lloyd sounded unhappy.

"'ey. Chin up, guys. A little staring never hurt anyone." Cole adjusted his backpack firmly and headed for the door. One by one the others followed.

Once they stepped through the door, Lloyd forgot to be apprehensive. He'd never seen the Serpentine's underground world before.

"Is this _real_ grass?" he said amazedly, testing the springy turf beneath his feet. "How do they do it?"

"It must be those lanterns," said Zane. "That is quite a fascinating technology. I wonder how they irrigate these plants."

"It almost feels like we're aboveground," said Lloyd. "This is so cool!" Then he seemed to realize himself and reddened a bit. "Uhh, I mean—it's, y'know. It's interesting."

Jay chuckled fondly. Lloyd was still such a ten-year-old sometimes.

Meanwhile, Cole carefully took in their surroundings. They were indeed attracting a few stares from the local Serpentine going about their business, and occasionally some snakes huddled together and began to whisper vehemently to each other after the ninja passed. It was a little unnerving, but at least the gazes didn't seem to be particularly hostile.

Beside him he felt Kai stiffen.

"What's wrong?" he murmured from the corner of his mouth, pretending to look elsewhere.

"Nothing," said Kai tightly. As they continued to walk, however, Cole saw the fire ninja's gaze constantly sliding to the sides, his jaw tight. Cole tried to look where Kai looked, and eventually he began to get the strangest feeling that he was seeing the same snakes over and over. It was hard to tell—humans weren't good at differentiating Serpentine—but he could've sworn they were being followed.

At last he saw a shadowed green form shoot from behind one rock and disappear behind another, keeping level with the five ninja. By the way Kai started, Cole knew he'd seen it too. The two of them exchanged glances. Cole's was questioning, but Kai's was full of a surprising amount of dread.

"Excuse me," said Zane quietly, keeping a casual expression. "Please do not look startled; we must not give ourselves away. But I believe we are being followed."

"What?!" whispered Lloyd.

"I know," Cole murmured, just loud enough for the others to hear. "Just keep walking. It could just be some curious kids too scared to follow us in the open."

Kai gave a muffled despairing snort, but said nothing.

They kept walking, but the group tailing them didn't seem to give up. Every now and then they could see someone whisk through the shadows.

Then the ninja reached a narrow paved path. On either side of it lay fields of some strange crop, dotted with sunlight lanterns. There were no hiding places.

Their shadowers finally broke cover: a group of Serpentine stepped out from behind rocks and hillocks, collecting squarely in the ninjas' way. They were all Venomari.

"Look what we have here," drawled one of them. "The Red Shhhhogun returns."

Kai looked away. The others all snuck glances at him, realizing these must be snakes who knew him from the slobber trade.

"Aren't you going to ssssay hello?" jibed another of the party.

"Look, we're not looking for trouble," said Kai lowly. "Just let us get through, all right?"

"Actin' like he doessssn't know us!" The snake pretended to be wounded. "Can you believe it, boyssss?"

"Ohhhhh, he's too good for us now," lamented another.

The ninja exchanged glances again.

"Ignore them," murmured Kai heavily. "It's me they're after; no reason for you guys to get involved."

Nodding, Cole turned and firmly began to walk. He strode right up to the Serpentine and kept right on going like a steamroller; the snakes parted to let him and the other ninja through. However, as the group of humans continued down the path, the Serpentine kept level with them, circling, weaving, sneering and winking their slitted yellow eyes.

"Don't you know where he's been?" rasped a short snake.

"Don't you know what he's done?" sang a tall one.

"Bug off," said Cole tersely.

"You'd never keep his company if you knew . . . " One of the snakes sauntered audaciously next to Kai, nearly rubbing shoulders with him, and twisted his head to lock his four eyes with Kai's two. "About time you came back, Red Shhhhogun. Shall we make this easy for you by telling your little friends where you've been?"

Kai faltered for a moment, grimacing. At last he shook his head and pointedly brushed past the snake, continuing onwards. The Venomari caught up with him again and shoved him roughly. There was a sharp whisper of metal as Lloyd rattled his katana, itching to pull it out, but Kai shook his head at him vehemently.

"Don't," he said.

The tense silence was broken by a startled cry and a thud. Everyone whirled around to find Jay sprawled on the ground, a crimson stain blooming over the arm of his gi. A grinning Serpentine stood over him with a switchblade.

"Welp." Cole drew his scythe grimly. "That's torn it."

The others went for it like a pack of German Shepherds. It probably would've made better tactical sense to cluster back-to-back, since they were already surrounded, but they were all too excited to bother with that.

"Jay! Stay down!" ordered Cole, stepping over to guard the blue ninja's back. "Don't try to stand with that. Are you okay?"

"Am I _okay?_ Let me stand up, wouldja? I feel like a sitting duck down here!"

"That's why we're here." Cole kicked a snake in the stomach.

"Oh fine, I'll just sit here and bleed to death quietly—" Jay ducked as a snake's jaws snapped shut inches from his head. "Yikes!"

"Do _not!_ Let them bite you!" shouted Kai, bounding through the fray like a galloping bear. "You hear me?"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Jay zapped the offending snake until he keeled over, twitching. "I'd rather not end my life as a protein shake."

"Ugh, Jay, really?" Cole grimaced in between swipes of his scythe.

Meanwhile, Lloyd and Zane had settled back-to-back, alternating weapons, ice, and energy balls.

"Zane!" yelped Lloyd, as one of the snakes blew a spray of venom at the Nindroid.

"Not to worry," said Zane coolly, wiping his face. He caught the snake with a left hook almost as an afterthought. "I have no circulatory system, so I am quite immune to the venom's effects."

"Well, the rest of us aren't!" Cole leaped aside as another spray of venom barely missed him. "Everyone be careful!"

"They only have enough venom for one squirt a day, they'll run out soon," growled Kai. "Aim for the noses, the creeps are weak there!"

Suddenly a new voice bellowed above the fray.

"What is going on here?!"

The Venomari seemed to lose nerve all at once. They abruptly darted away from the humans, milled about for a second, then scattered, leaving two of their party lying unconscious. The ninja, startled at the sudden reversal, turned around and saw Skales heading rapidly towards them.

"Oh . . . snap," gritted Cole under his breath. Standing here with weapons brandished, two battered snakes lying amongst them, the rest fleeing—this _had_ to look bad. And Skales looked angry. If they'd just accidentally started the third Serpentine War . . .

"Are you hurt?" Skales slithered up to their party. "I trust none of you have been bitten?"

The ninja stared at him. Lloyd in particular could probably have been knocked over with a feather.

"We're, uh . . . " Cole searched for words. "We're sorry sir, we didn't want to fight them—"

"Yes, yes, I expect they attacked you first," said Skales impatiently. "Those snakes are not any of our own." He noticed Jay's blood-soaked arm and clucked irately. "I believe you need medical attention."

"Eh, I'm . . . fine." Jay tried to sound tough, clenching one hand over the gash in his upper arm to stem the bleeding. Still, there was a tiny inadvertent waver to his voice—even though he _knew_ it took much more damage than this to bleed to death, there was always that panicky section of his brain that didn't care about facts.

"Nonsensssse, you're in no condition to travel." Skales tapped at Jay's chest commandeeringly, causing Kai to twitch, reining in his protective reflexes. "Come with me, all of you."

The ninja exchanged uneasy looks, but sheathed their weapons and gathered to follow.

"Uhhh, what about . . . " Cole nodded at the downed snakes awkwardly.

"Leave them." Skales sniffed. "They'll recover."

As the ninja followed the snake king, he shook his head morosely, clearly annoyed with the situation. "I suppose I musssssst apologize for your unfriendly welcome to this place. Unfortunately, even our society must deal with some young hoodlums. Some of the Venomari have developed some . . . unsssavory careers aboveground. They cut themselves off from our society to do so, but we cannot deny them the right to live in their own homes. I sssssuppose they saw you and decided picking on humans would be easy sport."

Lloyd had been watching his old enemy with curious eyes, but now he spared a raised eyebrow for Kai too, surprised that he hadn't even had to elbow him to stop him saying something snarky. The fire ninja looked unusually subdued.

"Ahhh, and here's Lloyd."

The green ninja jumped, realizing that Skales was looking him over with a hint of a snakish smirk. Clearly Lloyd wasn't the only one who remembered their old escapades.

"You seem to have grown," said the snake sardonically.

"Yeah." Lloyd couldn't resist a challenging smirk back. "Older and wiser."

"And ssssomewhat taller." Skales raised an eye ridge. "You're going to need a bigger treehouse."

Lloyd blinked, caught off-guard. He could almost have sworn Skales was teasing him.

* * *

Soon they were in Skales' house—a surprisingly humble and cheerily-lit home, its rooms hollowed out of the underground chamber's wall. Skales, ignoring the ninjas' protests that they had first-aid supplies, had gone off to fetch "the medicine snake." Meanwhile his wife Selma, a pink Hypnobrai, was searching for something to wash Jay's arm with. The ninja had been left alone in the front room, seated on cushions around a low table.

"You holding up okay, Jay?" asked Lloyd at last.

"G-guess so." Jay tried to keep a handle on his panicky fantasies—the term "medicine snake" did not soothe him. He attempted a smile. "A-at least the creep had a good sharp blade. Barely even felt it." Hesitating, he twiddled his fingers shyly. "You guys didn't have to do that, y'know."

"And just let them get away with it? Yeah, right." Cole whapped his undamaged arm gently. "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us."

Kai sighed gustily, leaning his elbows on the table.

"I'm sorry, Jay. This is all my fault."

"It's more of mine. If I'da' dodged faster—"

"You wouldn't have _had_ to dodge if they hadn't attacked us. And they attacked because of me." Kai traced the edge of the table morosely.

"Ehh." Jay shrugged. "So you have friends in some really low places. At least _you_ didn't start the fight. I didn't know you were even able to keep your mouth shut that long!"

"That was impressive, yeah," said Cole.

"Ha, ha." Kai smiled ruefully.

At that point Selma came sweeping back into the room, carrying a bowl of soapy water. A small snakelet scampered in on her heels, red eyes wide.

"Hi!" he chirped. "I 'member you! You're ninja! Didja bring more bad robots this time? Why's that one shiny?" He rapped curiously at a startled Zane's head, then darted around the table to pepper the others with more questions. "Didja see me fightin' Chen's snakes? Davy was there too! Are there more of you? Can I look in here?" Without warning he reached for Lloyd's backpack.

"Woah, hey!" Lloyd started, still processing the sudden appearances of this mini-Skales.

"Junior," said Selma reproachfully. "What did we learn about manners?"

"Mamaaaaa . . . " The little snake sighed, but subsided.

"Junior remembers quite a bit about your first visit here," said Selma, beginning to rinse the blood from Jay's arm. "He was excited to hear you were coming."

"Your arm's leakin'," observed Skales Junior, watching Jay with interest. Selma shooed him aside gently, so he climbed up on the table instead.

"I'm six!" he announced, almost bumping noses with Cole.

"Junior hun, we don't climb on the table."

"Whee!" Junior threw himself dramatically to the floor. Then he scooched under the table on his stomach and reappeared next to Lloyd.

"Hi!" he said brightly.

"Hey there." Lloyd was surprised to find himself smiling. He hadn't thought the son of his former nemesis would be such a cute little hooligan.

Junior squinted at the green ninja thoughtfully for a moment, probably wondering why he hadn't seen him before. Without warning he reached up to pat Lloyd's head. The snakelet's face took on an expression of awe.

"You're _furry,_ " he said.

Several of the others choked. Lloyd's mouth twitched as well.

"Why d'you have so much soft stuff on your head?" demanded Junior, digging through Lloyd's hair as one would paw through a sock drawer.

"Junior, I don't think he likes that," said Selma, giving Jay's arm a final dab and wringing out the washcloth.

"Am I gonna get soft stuff on my head too?"

"Probably not, dear." Selma smiled patiently.

Junior reluctantly disentangled himself from Lloyd's hair and tugged the amused young ninja's sleeve instead.

"Did Mommy show you the egg?"

"Junior," said Selma. There was just a tiny bit of edge to her tone.

"You always show everyone the egg, Mommy! You hafta show them!" Junior abruptly darted across the room and yanked aside a curtain, waving excitedly.

"Junior—"

"It's gonna be my little brother!"

There was a little alcove behind the curtain, lit by the warm orange glow of heat lamps. A small stone nest seemed to be built into the floor, and a smooth pill-shaped egg rested neatly in it. Selma muffled an annoyed hiss and tried to look civil.

"Yes, well, I suppose you know now. We're expecting a second child."

"Oh! Congratulations," said Zane, smiling. He seemed the least ruffled by this sudden revelation. "A boy?"

"We ssssuppose so," said Selma. She was clearly more guarded now—evidently her friendly opinions on humans weren't _quite_ strong enough to overpower the suspicious maternal instinct.

"Ev'ryone says it's gonna be a boy," said Junior, nodding sagely. "We know because he kicks so much!" He tugged at Cole's arm. "Come on, you wanna feel it?"

"Junior dear, let them resssst," said Selma firmly. The ninja exchanged awkward glances, knowing full-well that she didn't want them close to the egg, and probaby would have preferred they didn't know about it at all. It was uncomfortable being the mistrusted minority for a change—gave you some sympathy for the Serpentine who tried to find work aboveground and put up with this feeling every day.

They were saved from further awkwardness by the arrival of Skales senior, medicine snake in tow. To Jay's discomfiture, she was a Venomari herself. She introduced herself briskly as Shleena and got to work.

"Let me sssssee," she said, taking Jay's arm in her scaly hands. "Hmmm; a very clean cut. Was this a knife?"

"Sw—switchblade," said Jay, mentally cursing himself out for stammering. He felt like he'd caused enough trouble for his team today without looking like a coward in front of the snake king and his family too.

"Ahhh, one of the scale juice thugs." Shleena shook her head knowingly. Then, without warning, she flicked out her narrow forked tongue and drew it swiftly over the still-oozing edge of Jay's wound. Jay stared, eyes wide.

"Keep your hair on," murmured Kai. "They do that."

"Indeed." Shleena apparently had good ears. "It is the gift of the Venomari to smell their own venom on the blood of others. I was tesssting your bloodstream—it is not unheard-of for thugs to coat their blades in venom."

"A-and . . . that would cause the thing where your insides turn to mush?" Jay managed a nervous chuckle.

"You would melt from the inside, yes," said Shleena. "But do not worry, your wound is clean. I expected as much; the young ones seldom have the nerve to use the dripping blade." She bared her fangs in a grin that left the ninja wondering what exactly her opinions on this trend were.

"Uhh . . . So . . . " Jay hesitated as Shleena began disinfecting his wound. "What happens if a Venomari bites his tongue?"

"Jayyyyyy," groaned Cole.

"What? I was curious!"

"How do you even come up with questions like this?"

"No, he's got a point," said Lloyd. "I always wondered that too."

Cole threw up his hands in concession and cast Shleena an apologetic look.

"Venomari are immune to their own venom, of course," said the medicine snake. "If they were not, they would die from storing it in their own bodies. There is a large gland _here_ —" she opened her jaws very wide and jabbed a finger at the roof of her mouth "—just below the brain, which produces a powerful antivenin. It flows in our blood at all times."

"That's pretty cool," said Lloyd frankly. Shleena gave another terrifying grin.

"It's a living."

Aside from the unorthodox blood test, Shleena's medical practices were quite standard. She disinfected Jay's wound, dabbed on a little topical anesthetic, sutured it up neatly, and bandaged it, all within about fifteen minutes. Jay was initially horrified by the size of the needle and surgical thread—they were meant for tough, thick snakeskin, after all—but luckily the anesthetic was also extra-strong to work through a scaly hide. He didn't feel a thing.

He thought he might not mention that to the others, though. It did look super-hardcore—and they did seem suitably impressed.

* * *

 **A/N: Junior's not really six, y'know. He was allegedly hatched after Season 2, and I refuse to believe that six years went by between Season 2 and Season 4. It's just that snake years are much shorter than human years: in human years, Junior is less than two years old. Serpentine mature very quickly and have short childhoods, but they live very long lives after that. Poor blokes.**

 **Man though, spellcheck is ready to take me out to the dueling grounds because of all the snake speech in this chapter. XP It also will not tolerate Junior "scooching" under the table, but it does suggest that he smooch, scorch, or scotch under there instead. I don't think I like any of those options for a six-year-old. XD**


	34. Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions

**Whoo, doggy. Feels like last chapter's reviews were one long string of "OMG Junior is adorable!" I'm very glad right now that I didn't make plans to kill this character off. XD**

 **Jay is getting jealous, though. He's complaining to me that it's supposed to be _his_ story, but first Kai and Lloyd keep hogging all the attention, and now he gets his shoulder carved open and nearly dies and gets sewed back up with a freakin' knitting needle, but everyone just ignores him and coos over the baby snake instead.**

 **Give it up, Walker, you're in competition with a six-year-old. Nobody is in their league. XD**

 **Extra thanks to Skylark Starflower for helping me come up with ideas for Serpentine careers!**

 **mangamaker314: Good call! Best to avoid real names online. I did try to base Junior off small children I've seen in real life. One or two things he says are direct quotes, actually. ^_^**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Haha, maybe the word for him would be "hyperactive." It's only cute for the first five minutes or so, b'lieve me; after that it's just exhausting. ;P**

* * *

 **Sept 13**

 **10:39 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded**

* * *

Once Jay had been properly bandaged up, Skales had a quick discussion with the ninja about their mission, then led them off to the mining district. Skales Junior was so dismayed at the idea of being left behind that they allowed him to tag along; he darted from ninja to ninja, chattering eagerly. Skales, apparently used to this kind of thing, talked over him patiently as necessary.

"The Constrictai have a proud heritage of mining, metallurgy, and archaeology," he said, leading the little group down a well-worn path. "Admittedly, their tribe had the easiest time integrating into peaceful society. Most of their work is currently done in partnership with human mining companies."

"Yeah?" said Kai. "So what do the other races do?"

Whup, there it was. That tiny mocking edge that often slipped into Kai's tone whenever he talked about snakes. Cole gave him a warning look, but Skales either didn't notice or decided not to take the bait.

"Some of us have had a harder time than others," he admitted. "But most of us have found some way to integrate. Of course, some snakes from all tribes take regular jobs, such as accounting or shopworking. Others seek specialized employment, suited for our talents. Despite some initial suspicion from the human population—understandable, I ssssuppose—many Hypnobrai have become trusted and successful hypnotherapists. With the patient's cooperation, we can cure almost any mental condition."

Lloyd, having experienced some Hypnobrai techniques, gave an inadvertant snicker at the thought of a swirly-eyed snake sitting on an armchair with a notebook, hissing "tell me about your childhood." Luckily, Skales didn't notice.

"Meanwhile, many Fangpyre make quite a comfortable living creating authentic snakeskin bags— _not_ from the actual skins of snakes, of course," he added, when some of the ninja gave him shocked looks. "They bite plastic handbags. They also do custom car detailing by biting vehicles—I hear there is quite a flourishing demand for the 'reptilian' look in the automotive world, and the gas mileage is ssspectacular."

"That explains that one biker gang I met last week," said Cole. "Man. I thought they just had really awesome paint jobs."

"Yes, they do create quite an impressive effect," said Skales, puffing up his chest.

"And the Venomari?" said Kai.

Skales deflated somewhat.

"Yes, well," he said crisply. "They have had a bit of difficulty. There are, of course, certain . . . _temptations_ . . . specific to their tribe. You will find, however, that most of them remain perfectly ressspectable members of society."

"Oh really," said Kai. Jay jabbed him with one elbow surreptitiously, but the fire ninja only raised his eyebrows as if to say, "What? I'm not being _un_ civil!"

Skales seemed to be getting a little miffed now. His hood flared slightly, and he coiled his tail a little tighter to his body as he slithered.

"Our culture does not condone the use of Venomari venom as a recreational drug," he said. "We understand its harmful effects to health and society, and we do not appreciate the misuse of a venom with a long, honorable history in war and hunting. We no more approve of Venomari scale juice providers than _you_ approve of your _human_ drug dealers." He cast them a baleful look with one red eye to emphasize.

"Of course, we understand," said Cole hastily. He shot Kai a dirty look, and the fire ninja, fortunately, shut up.

"Most of the Venomari remain underground in snake society," said Skales, seemingly placated. "A few of them, however, participate in scientific research, seeking alternative uses for the venom. There are even some who become organ donors—when they die, their antivenin glands are extracted, and the antivenin is used for research or to save those who have been bitten by other Venomari. We understand our duty to be ressssponsible with our powers."

Kai may not have been the only one who felt like rolling his eyes at that. They all couldn't help but feel that Skales was painting a rosier picture of snake society than the complete truth, but they didn't want to say anything. Human-snake relations were still shaky enough—no sense creating animosity. Besides, it was nicer to have snakes trying to make themselves look good than trying to kill you.

"Well, here we are," said Skales, stopping in front of a massive round door set into the rock. "One moment."

He tapped at a little electronic microphone next to the door, and the thump of an activating speaker followed almost immediately.

"King Ssssskales?" it rasped. The ninja cringed at the high-pitched distortion that came with the long S.

"Yes, I've brought the ninja," said Skales. "Is the foreman there?"

"He'll be out to meetcha in a minute. I'm sssssorry your highness, we're havin' a little bit of trouble. Jammed equipment."

Annoyed, Skales argued with the security guard for a moment, but it did no good. At length he shrugged at the ninja, and they all stood around for a bit and awkwardly attempted to make polite conversation. Except for Skales Junior, who attempted to climb up on his father's shoulders.

"Daddyyyyy, you're too slippery!" he protested, draping himself woefully down Skales' back. Skales hoisted him up to a comfortable piggyback position, barely missing a beat in the conversation. He was clearly well-practiced in the ways of fatherhood. Jay had to admit privately that it was rather sweet; he remembered his own dad carrying him like that when he was little.

"Why're ya goin' to the mines?" demanded Junior, peering at the ninja from over Skales' shoulder.

"They're on a mission, Junior," said Skales, clearly trying to head him off this course of inquiry.

"Is it fun? Can I come too?"

"Uhh, well, actually—"

"Oooooh, I know!" Junior scrabbled excitedly higher, mounting to Skales' shoulders. "I can help ya fight! You're gonna fight bad guys, right? I can fight!"

"Uhh . . . " Cole searched for a way to let the kid down easy.

"I helped fight Chen's army, ya know! I was brave!" Junior leaned eagerly forward over his father's head. "Can I come? Can I? Can I can I can I?"

"Junior—" Skales tried to pry the youngster's hand off his eye, where it had inadvertantly landed. "Junior."

"Ah, you know what?" Cole came to the older snake's rescue. "It's actually going to be pretty boring down there. No fun at all."

"Really?" Junior peered at him suspiciously.

"Yep. Pretty much just walking around in the dark an' stuff."

"Ohhh." Junior subsided, looking disappointed.

"Thanksssss," murmured Skales under his breath, finally peeling his son's hand from his eyelid. Cole shrugged, half-smiling.

Finally the speakers popped again.

"Sorry your Highness," said a new gravelly voice, a little flustered. "Comin' out to meetcha."

There was a heavy rumble. The ground vibrated beneath their feet, and the huge mine door swung ponderously open, releasing a burst of warm, dusty air, scented heavily of earth and metal and gunpowder. From beside him Jay heard Cole draw in his breath almost hungrily; he supposed this must be an enticing smell for an earth master. Personally he just got a vague sensation of dread.

"Good mornin'." A Constrictai in a hard hat lollopped his way out the door. He was a head shorter than the ninja, built in the typical stocky Constrictai frame; his orange and black scales were smudged with dust.

"Jammed beltsss, your Highness, jammed belts," he drawled, wagging his head.

"Well, never mind," said Skales. "Would you be so good as to lead these ninja down to the tunnels? Afterwards, I'd like to speak to you. That's the fourth equipment failure this month."

"Yessir, your Highness sir." The foreman bobbed his head and waved for the ninja to follow him. "C'mon, swubs. After me."

A little hesitantly, they all stepped into the dimly-lit mouth of the mine. Skales came with them for a few feet, then led Junior off to one side to wait for the foreman's return.

"Good luck on your mission, ninja," he called.

"Byeeeeeeeee!" Junior shouted unnecessarily loud, his voice echoing down the tunnel.

It felt like the journey had finally started. The ninjas' hearts beat quickly as they followed the foreman through the mine, acclimating to the hot, gritty air. Jay was excited enough to forget he'd been uneasy. The place was full of sound and movement: tunnels branched off from the main passage every few feet, minecarts rumbled by, the clamor of machinery and pickaxes drew closer and farther away.

Some snakes suddenly darted out of a side passage, whooping "fire in the hole!" Seconds later the ground shook as charges of dynamite blew away the next segment of rock.

"Woah," breathed Lloyd, inadvertantly stopping to gaze at the fire rolling down the empty tunnel.

"'eyyyyy." Cole hustled him along playfully. "You know what they say about looking at explosions."

As the fire died away, the snakes bustled back towards the tunnel.

"Mornin' Doug!" one shouted as he passed. "How's the jam?"

"Grungy," the foreman called back. "King Ssskales is pitchin' another fit about it."

Some good-humored groans from the miners. Some of the ninja looked oddly at Jay, who had suddenly started to choke with silent laughter.

"What's so funny?" whispered Kai.

"His name is _Doug,_ " Jay managed to gasp. "A mining snake called Doug! _Dug!_ "

"Oh, for—" Cole raised his eyes heavenwards, then shook his head fiercely. "Hey, sober up, wouldja? You're gonna get us in trouble!"

Jay clamped his hands over his mouth dutifully and tried to think of other things. They continued deeper into the mine.

"That'ssss where we're working on a merger," said Doug, pointing down one tunnel. "We're digging towards a human mine, and they're digging towards us. Within a few months, we should have a connected mine syssssstem providing coal, iron, copper, and sssome precious metals, simultaneously." He grunted. "That isss, if the whole project doesn't fold from losing so many pressure meters. Give those Techniccccians an extra smack for me, all right?"

"Uhhh . . . sure thing," said Cole.

"Hmph." Doug glanced back at them. "You humanssssss are awful quiet. Scrubble ssssaid you were the noisy type."

Cole shrugged, not sure how to answer that. He and the other ninja exchanged awkward glances. Doug might think they were being silent out of rudeness, but they weren't sure what kind of conversation they could start. Who knew what topics it was impolite to ask snakes about, or what might be taken as an insult?

It didn't help that Jay was still twitching with occasional spasms of silent laughter. For good measure it was spreading to Lloyd.

"Pipe down back there," muttered Cole wearily. He glanced ahead to Doug. "Well, uh, I don't think we introduced ourselves yet. I'm Cole, that's Kai, this is Zane—"

"Sssssave it, save it," scoffed Doug, waving back at them. "I can't tell ya swubs apart anyway. 'xcept by the hair, maybe. Shaggy, Spiky, Shiny, Short, and Scruffy, that'll do for ya."

Cole raised an eyebrow.

"Scruffy." Jay stifled another bout of snickers and elbowed Lloyd. "I like it."

"Ha." Lloyd was less amused this time.

Eventually the walls began to spread out around them, and soon the little group stepped out onto a ledge.

"Main central," said Doug proudly. "The hub of our mine."

Jay heard a few breaths catch beside him, matching his own. It _was_ pretty breathtaking: they were standing on the edge of a gigantic black chasm, shielded only by a scanty metal railing. A network of tracks stretched across the abyss, leading to other parts of the mine, while other rails led sharply downwards, disappearing into the darkness. Minecarts roared down tracks, wheels thundering; others crept slowly up from below, groaning and rattling chains. Snakes bustled about loading and unloading ore from the carts, their calls mixing in with the roar of equipment, the screech of brakes, the crash of minecarts halting, all of it echoing weirdly in the massive cavern.

"That's really impressive," said Cole frankly. Doug puffed up a little.

"Not our work, of course," he said, his fangs flashing in a self-deprecating grin. "Mother Nature built the chasm, we just plassstered some minecart tracks up and down it."

"How far down?" asked Lloyd, peering over the railing.

"Roughly eight hundred feet," said Doug. "That's where we're headed."

"Really? Cool!" Lloyd looked around. "Uhh . . . so, how do we . . . "

"Hop in the cart, swubs," said Doug, waving at the nearest empty minecart.

The ninja exchanged unnerved looks. A moment's hesitation; then Cole drew in his breath and grabbed the edge of the cart, preparing to climb into it.

"Woah, woah." Doug laughed. "Easssssy, Shaggy, I'm jussst messin' with you. We have to wait for the elevator."

The ninja blinked at him for a moment, startled. Then Cole laughed.

"Had me going for a second," he said, hopping back down.

"I noticcced." Doug's eyes crinkled mischievously. Odd—it was so much Cole's style of humor, psyching people out. Maybe it was an earth thing.

"Awwww, I bet it would have been fun to ride a minecart down," said Jay. "Can't we still do that?"

Just then another empty cart whooshed in from a higher part of the mine and slammed violently against the buffers, scattering dust and rubble every which way. Jay winced.

"Uhh . . . forget I said anything."

The others laughed, finally relaxing.

The elevator arrived, nothing more than a platform with a railing and a hydraulic lift system. Doug ushered them on and began to deftly work the controls, sinking them down into the dark, echoing abyss.

"Anyone 'ere under eighteen?" he hollered over the choosh of hydraulics. Looking a little anxious, Jay and Lloyd raised their hands. Zane hesitated, but then went with his physical age and raised a hand as well.

"Good then." Doug pointed at Cole and Kai. "Shaggy, Spiky, you'll 'ave to stay behind."

"What?!"

"Miners only beyond this point." Doug's fangs flashed again. A few beats as the ninja processed the pun; then a few appreciative groans. Jay and Lloyd high-fived in mock triumph, grinning. They were both pretty tired of Kai and Cole reminding them about all the cool stuff that came with the age of majority—Kai had been known to purchase scratch-off lottery tickets just to show off that he could.

At the bottom of the abyss were more tunnels, lit by the warm orangey glow of worklights. Doug led them down one of these tunnels, past more bustle and activity. The ninja snuck fascinated glances to the sides, watching Constrictai tunneling into and out of the walls with their distinctive "rolling dive."

Cole was grateful when they finally reached their destination, though. Jay was still sputtering muffledly every time passing snakes hollered "Hi, Doug!".

"Here we are, swubs!" announced the foreman, pointing to a side passage. "That 'un leads to the place where Scrubble's team found the new tunnel."

As if on cue, another Constrictai suddenly popped out of a nearby wall, earth and gravel showering from his scaly head. He shook it from his eyes, then caught sight of the ninja.

"'ey, you made it!" he called, darting over. The ninja were momentarily confused, again having difficulty telling snakes apart. Jay caught on first.

"Scrubble?"

"That's me!" The snake looked them over appraisingly. "Where's Missss Nya?"

"She isn't with us," said Kai guardedly.

"Ohhh. A shhhame. I was looking forward to seeing her in person again," said Scrubble. Jay saw the fire ninja stiffen slightly, not keen on the notion of a Serpentine getting friendly with his sister.

"She did send you this, though!" said Zane, suddenly pulling off his backpack and digging into it. He pulled out a long, flat box, rather like a box of chocolates, and handed it to the Constrictai. "To thank you and your teammates for all your help."

"Welllllllll." Scrubble peeked under the lid of the box and grinned. "Candied crickets! That's mighty thoughtful of her."

Kai let out a sharp, angry breath; you could almost see twin puffs of smoke snorting from his nostrils.

"Take it _easy_ , Kai," whispered Jay. "He's married!"

"Oh." Kai relaxed just a little.

"One for you too, Doug!" called Scrubble, holding out the box. Soon a whole passel of mining snakes had gathered around, growling appreciatively and digging into the box with thick, scaly hands. Scrubble wormed his way out of the group and rejoined the ninja, shaking his head.

"Savages. No mannersss at all; I was lucky to get even one!" he grumbled.

The ninja tried not to stare or otherwise double-take. Scrubble was still chewing, and the mouthful crunched in a most unnerving manner. Candied _crickets_ . . .

"Sorry, did you want some?" said Scrubble.

"Uhh . . . nnnnno, we're fine," said Lloyd.

Scrubble nodded and stumped off down the tunnel, waving for the ninja to follow him. "Thanks for bringing them, Doug!"

The foreman tossed back a two-fingered salute, heading back the way he'd come. Scrubble raised an eyebrow as Jay gave a final muffled sneeze at the foreman's name.

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine," said Cole wearily. "It's, uhhhh . . . a side effect of the arm bandages."

"Oh." Scrubble looked puzzled.

"Your foreman has a really . . . appropriate name," said Jay, ignoring Cole's irritated look.

"What, Doug?" Scrubble laughed. "That's not his real name. His real name's Gollagar; we just call him Doug as a joke, because he digs."

Cole smacked himself in the forehead silently, while several of the others gave Jay amused looks. The lightning ninja looked disappointed.

"Awwh man . . . Suddenly it's not as funny anymore . . . "

The tunnel grew smaller. It was still fine for the short Scrubble, but the ninja had to bend down a little to get through. The walls looked less polished here, too; apparently the Constrictai had just been plowing through the earth and rock however they could to access the Technician tunnel. Eventually they reached cracked concrete, studded with jagged metal bars. It looked strange appearing suddenly in the midst of the natural rock.

"There it is." Scrubble pointed to an unimpressive piece of sheet metal. "We covered up the hole to maybe keep the Techs from noticccing it, and we've been keeping guards on this tunnel all the time. Jussssst in case."

"Good policy," said Cole. He pulled away the sheet metal and peered down into the swimming darkness. "Woah."

The ninja exchanged glances, gearing up for the true descent. There could be a whole squadron of Technicians standing silently in the dark down there, waiting for them. They had to be ready.

"Good luck, ninja," said Scrubble.

"Thanks." Cole nodded, then slipped down into the blackness. One by one the others followed.

Jay went last; at the last moment he turned back, teetering on the brink of the jagged portal into Technician territory.

"Hey, Scrubble?" he said. "What exactly is a 'swub'?"

"Sssomeone who's new to the job," said Scrubble.

"Oh." Jay chuckled. "That's not so bad."

Then, taking a deep breath, he slid down into the metal-scented darkness.


	35. Peanut Butter Jelly Time

**Mannnnn, the memes just get worse and worse, huh? XD But hey, this was definitely a meme, and where else would I get a chance to use it? Even as it was I would've been using a different meme, if I hadn't sawed this chapter in half to make it shorter.**

 **Apologies if I missed replying to any reviews on the last chapter, by the way; I've been experiencing a bit of what the Polish call "snapping off of the head." :P**

 **Angel Star Ninja: It's kind've a dangerous policy, you know. You kind of want to pay attention to where the things are blowing up. XD**

 **Zoodirektor: Thanks! It was a lot of fun pulling together different science-y stuff I'd heard about snakes.**

 **TitaniumNinja12: Aww, thanks! That's very sweet. I don't know that I'll ever write a real book, though** — **I'm bad at coming up with my own characters and situations. And as you can see, my concision sucks; books are supposed to be 100,000 words or less. ^_^'' Haha, coming up with memes for the titles is fun. I'm always on the lookout for new ones, so if you know any, I'm all ears!**

* * *

 **Sept 13**

 **11:58 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded**

* * *

There was a faint echo as Jay landed, his feet thumping lightly onto the cold metal floor of the tunnel. It was pitch-black for a second, before a dim flame sputtered to life in Kai's hand. Then it flared up into a full torch.

"You know, mines can have flammable gases in them," said Cole. "We might want to be careful with fire."

"Greaaaat, thanks for telling me _now_ ," said Kai.

"At least there's no welcoming party," said Lloyd.

They took a moment to look around. The tunnel was circular, made of dull plated metal. In either direction it seemed to stretch on endlessly, yawning darkly where Kai's light didn't reach. Jay suppressed a shudder.

"Do you think Scrubble's gone?" said Lloyd under his breath, glancing up to the hole they'd dropped in through.

"Probably," whispered Cole. "Uh, why?"

Lloyd looked sheepishly to Jay, who looked back with equal discomfort. Then Lloyd reached over his shoulder and pulled open the flap of his backpack. A small blue form shot out, squealing.

" _What the heck?!_ "

A matching squeal came from Mopp, whom Jay had just fished out of his own backpack.

"You _brought the aliens?!_ " shouted Cole.

"Shhhhhh! Scrubble might still be in earshot!" hissed Jay.

"Are you people _crazy?_ " Kai wasn't any happier about this than Cole. "You don't bring aliens on a freaking mission!"

"We had to!" Lloyd held protectively onto Meep, who sensed that he was the cause of the disturbance and had glommed onto the green ninja anxiously. "They get depressed and disassemble stuff when Jay isn't home for a long time—Nya wouldn't have been able to keep them in order. They'd have taken the ship apart!"

"I might take _you_ apart!" said Kai hotly.

"Dude, I thought you _liked_ the aliens now!"

"I do not!"

"Woah, woah, hollllllld on, hold on, let's settle this civilly," interrupted Cole, holding up his hands. "Let's all be quiet for a sec."

"They're going to get us all killed!" snapped Kai.

"You too, Kai. Shush. You'll get your turn." Cole dug a hand into his hair, sighing heavily, and looked to Jay. "All right. Give me one good reason I shouldn't send you right back home, right now."

"'cos I don't know the way?" Jay ventured a joke, then cringed when Cole gave him the "get serious or get out" look. The earth ninja could still inspire a certain degree of respect when he was in hardcore leader mode. "Okay, okay! Well they won't be any trouble, I swear. I mean, they made it all the way down here in our backpacks without making a sound!"

"Yeah," added Lloyd. "There was the fight with the Venomari, and that long time in Skales' house, and all those cool sounds in the mine, and they never tried to squeal or get out or anything. Jay taught 'em to stay quiet when you shush them."

"Ohhhh, so _that's_ why you were playing hide-and-seek with them yesterday," said Cole.

"Yep! They know all about hiding now, got so good I couldn't find them anymore, heh heh . . . heh . . . " Jay trailed off, seeing that Cole wasn't looking too mollified. Neither was Kai.

"This isn't a Sunday-school picnic!" The red ninja started on his case without prompting. "We might be fighting for our lives down here, we can't be babysitting some dumb aliens at the same time! And what if the Technicians see them? We were supposed to keep them secret!"

"They'll hide the minute we tell them to," insisted Jay. "And they won't get in the way!"

"What, _them_ behave? You can't even keep them from taking the toaster apart!"

"That's because I _wasn't_ there at the time!"

"Guys, guys, come on!" protested Lloyd. "We've just started on our most important mission in forever. We can't fight!"

"We've just started on our most important mission in forever, we can't look after dumb aliens," retorted Kai.

A moment of resentful silence. Cole sighed.

"Right now, I guess we have no choice," he said. "I can't even send you guys home. How would we explain to the mining snakes that you have to come back minutes after you started? We can't have the entire mining community finding out about the aliens."

"Yeah," said Jay, heartened. "Guess it's settled then! Don't worry about a thing. They'll be no trouble at all."

"I hope so," said Cole. "For _your_ sake."

Jay gulped.

They set off down the tunnel, heading towards a faint draft Zane detected. Kai's flame cast a dancing light across the walls, creeping shakily forward as they walked. Their footsteps bounced back towards them, creating an eerie pattering whisper. Honestly it was no different than walking down a somewhat dark, metal-plated hallway, but somehow Jay couldn't stop thinking of the tons and tons of rock pressing down above their heads.

The group was silent—not unusual, they had to be stealthy and listen for approaching Technicians—but it was a heavy, rather sullen sort of silence. The aliens seemed to sense that they had caused an unpleasant situation; Mopp rode quietly on the top of Jay's backpack, and Meep stayed close by his shoulder. Neither of them chirped or showed more than a cursory interest in their surroundings.

"Shouldn't there be a door or something?" ventured Jay at last. "I mean, they have to get into these tunnels somehow, otherwise they wouldn't be much use, would they?"

He chuckled hopefully. No reply.

Presently something loomed up ahead. Kai held his light forward, sending a warm orange pall over a metal handcart, the kind you'd find in a big hardware store.

"Well, guess that means this tunnel is being used," said Cole. "Good sign."

"Still no doors, though," said Jay.

And the conversation died again.

At last something happened. It wasn't a door, though; it was a fork in the tunnel. Awkwardly, they didn't come across the fork, instead coming _down_ one of the tines of the fork. They were now faced with the choice of going onwards down the merged tunnel, or backtracking down the other tine of the fork.

"The draft comes from that way," said Zane, pointing down the merged path.

"Sounds good," said Cole. "All in favor?"

Some muffled "sure"'s from the others. A noncommittal grunt from Kai. Cole looked around, clearly unhappy about the tense atmosphere.

"Say, how long have we been walking?" he said. "Did anybody bring a watch?"

Nobody had.

"Zane?" Lloyd looked to the Nindroid. "You have an internal clock, don't you?"

"Errr . . . I . . . "

"You do, don't you?"

"I do, but . . . " Zane gulped. "You see, one of the upgrades in my Titanium form was a connection to a very accurate satellite clock. Unfortunately, down here the connection doesn't work."

"You mean you don't have your _own_ clock?!"

"I do, but I . . . uh . . . never set it." The Nindroid looked thoroughly ashamed of himself. "It's blinking zero-zero-zero."

"Ohhhhhhh, fan _-tastic!_ " groaned Kai. "So we're stuck down here without any way of telling what time, day, or month it is! Some great planning skills on this mission!"

"Hey, you leave him alone." Lloyd plowed willingly into his new role as protector of younger sibling. "You didn't think to bring a watch yourself."

"Oh, forget it," snapped Kai. "This has got to be the worst-planned plane crash of a mission ever. Why don't we just turn around and go home right now?"

"Kai," said Cole. "Come on."

There was nothing particularly sharp about his tone, but there was plenty of significance to it. Kai let out an angry breath, his eyes fixed on the floor. The others waited.

"I'm sorry, okay?" he mumbled at last. "It's just—you guys aren't taking this seriously enough. You don't know what we're up against."

"Yeah we do," said Jay.

"Do you?" Kai gave him a bleak look. "I don't think you do. You remember that truck driver who almost killed Nya? The one whose sleeptalking led us to the Technician meeting?"

The others exchanged glances.

"Yeahhhh . . . " said Cole cautiously.

"Remember how I was a little late joining you guys that night?" said Kai. "After talking to Nya, I called the hospital. I knew the Technicians would eventually guess how we found their meeting. They would figure that truck driver must have blabbed somehow, and if Nash was in charge of things, they'd punish him for it. I told the hospital to move that guy to another facility, secretly, change his name if they could. Falsify the records if they could. Keep policemen guarding his old room as if he hadn't been moved. And they did all that. And do you know where that guy is now?"

Silence.

"In a grave," said Kai.

More silence.

"Someone snuck in through the window, right past the guards, and plugged him full of Venomari spit," continued Kai. "They found him in the morning melted all over the bedsheets. _That's_ what we're up against."

Nobody said anything for a while. Lloyd, to be perfectly frank, looked like he could use a hug. Jay wouldn't have objected to one himself.

"Damn," said Cole at last.

"Yeah." Kai looked away. "I mean, not that I cared all that much. This guy tried to run a semi over my sister. But that's just another one I couldn't save. These creeps don't play around."

"You did what you could," said Lloyd softly. Kai shrugged, his eyes downcast.

"If it's so dangerous," said Jay at last, "Are you sure you want to walk into this on a bad leg?"

"You have a bad leg?" Cole raised his eyebrows. Kai flinched, biting his lip.

"Ah, it's not that bad," he mumbled. "It's not important. I'll be fine."

"Hey. Not to get snippy," said Cole, "but walking into this kind of mess on a _bad leg_ seems like some _really_ bad planning."

"I know what I'm doing," said Kai, lifting his chin. "I wasn't about to miss this. I know these guys. I know what the dangers are. I wanted to be there to . . . to keep you guys focused, you know? Make sure you knew what we were facing."

"Well, I think you've given us a pretty good idea," said Cole.

Kai sighed, scruffing up his hair.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to go for the shock factor, honest. Just . . . we need to be careful, okay?"

The others shuffled quietly in place.

"Well, hey," said Cole at last. "Nash isn't the only boss of the Technicians, is he?"

"I . . . guess not?" said Kai. "Honestly I don't know."

"Well, I'm sure there must be others," said Cole. "You remember, that note Lloyd found in Snow Dragon was between Cap and Silica—there's at least two people handling things, collaborating. And I'm sure anyone not from the scale juice trade must be a lot saner."

"Yeah, I . . . guess . . . " said Kai.

"Nash left _you_ alive, didn't he?" added Jay. "He was probably under a superior's orders. Maybe he's not even a high-level boss or anything."

"And either way, we can't let them rattle us!" said Lloyd. "That's what they want. We have to stay cool about this."

"I know, I know." Kai raised his hands in concession. "Got it. Staying positive."

"Right. Chin up everyone, we've got this." Cole rubbed his hands together briskly and looked up and down their two possible paths. "You know what, let's take a break here. It must be past lunchtime."

Grateful for a distraction, however brief, everyone started to pull off their backpacks and settle down. Lloyd lit a battery-powered lantern so Kai could extinguish the flame in his hand.

"I'm sorry I didn't set my clock," ventured Zane.

"It's okay, buddy. Not a big deal," said Kai. All the vitriol had drained out of his voice.

"PIXAL says she told me so . . . "

"Does she now." Kai gave a faint snort.

They dug into their backpacks for the wrapped sandwiches they'd brought for the first lunch. Soon the tunnel was full of the smatter of unwrapping plastic wrap and the musky scent of peanut butter. The tension had noticeably dropped, but they were still quiet, a little downhearted. Kai still looked on edge.

Jay nibbled at his sandwich, scratching idly between Mopp's eyes to distract himself from the silence.

"What if the aliens starve?" said Cole. "Don't they need to have water? There's no water down here."

Jay, about to take a drink from his canteen, froze mid-swig. Then he soberly lowered the canteen and screwed the top on.

"I'll save my water. I can pour it on them if they need it," he said.

"I'll save mine too," said Zane. "I do not need to drink much."

"Thanks," said Jay. He hesitated. "Uhh—I'm sorry too. About bringing them."

"It's in the past," said Cole wearily. "Let's all let bygones be bygones, huh?"

Jay smiled wanly. As the others continued to eat, he looked discouragedly down at his sandwich. Peanut butter wasn't all that appealing without anything to wash it down with.

For a moment he weighed his options, wondering if he dared when things were this precariously tense. Finally, biting the bullet, he pulled the pieces of bread apart, tugged off one corner, and stuck it filling-first to Kai's face.

"H—hey!" Kai jumped, startled, then glared. "Are you _serious?_ This is no time for clowning."

"Why not?" Jay stuck out his tongue. "We're not being attacked, and I need something better to look at than your grumpy face."

Kai gave an irritated snort, wiping jam from his cheek. Jay looked around carefully, taking stock of the others' reactions. Zane was eyeing him anxiously, Cole seemed to be ignoring the whole situation, Lloyd might have had the tiniest hint of a smile on his face. Settling back, Jay began rolling tiny balls of bread between his fingers, flicking them into the air for Meep and Mopp to bat at.

"So," he said. "What do you call it if you get together with your friends and eat peaches, plums, and cherries?"

No reply.

"A pitty party."

Some rolling of eyes. A deep sigh from Cole. Jay chewed the inside of his cheek, searching through his stock of terrible puns.

"What kind of jokes do farmers tell?"

"Jayyyy—"

"Corny ones. How does the man in the moon cut his hair?"

Everyone tried to ignore him.

"Eclipse it!"

" _Jayyyyyyy!_ " Now there was a chorus of groans. Jay beamed. Much better!

"What happens if a frog parks their car illegally?"

"Jay, all right, we get it!" blurted Kai. "You want us to cheer up. Fine. We're cheered up. You can stop with the lame jokes now."

"Lame?!" Jay feigned offense. "You think my jokes are lame?"

"Don't try to deny it."

Jay calmly stuck another half-slice of bread to Kai's face.

"You're just jelly."

The others were clearly hiding amusement by now. Lloyd was twitching in silent fits of giggles. Kai, sighing wearily, wiped his face again.

"Aren't you going to _eat_ that sandwich?"

"Nah, it's no good without a drink."

"Then let me have it."

"Ahh . . . fine. Greedy." Jay handed over the remaining slice of bread. Kai made a motion as if about to bite into it—then abruptly plastered the entire slice into Jay's face. Jay blinked his one uncovered eye in surprise.

"Heyyyyy . . . "

The others burst out laughing, even Kai. Jay made a show of being miffed, struggling not to grin; he was so pleased he didn't know what to do with himself. Every now and then he got lingering doubts, little whispers in his head telling him he didn't pull his own weight in this team, took more than he gave. Whenever he could put his talents to work cheering his friends up or ending arguments—it made him feel a little more useful, at least.

"You're a dork, Jay," said Kai good-naturedly, as they began packing up and shouldering their canteens. "You're lucky I wasn't in a scragging mood."

"Ah, I knew it'd be fine," scoffed Jay. "I can feel the crowd, you know?"

To be perfectly honest, he hadn't been _entirely_ sure he wouldn't get himself scragged. But close enough.

"You brought _that_ too?" said Cole, as Jay fished his hoodie out of his backpack. "Okay, wise guy. What did you have to leave behind to make room for all the alien gear?"

"Nothing," said Jay smugly, putting the hoodie on over his gi and slipping Mopp into the hood. "Everything important is still in there. I'm just a really snug packer."

"Are you now?"

"Better believe it. I was the champion of the school Tetris club back in the third grade."

". . . That explains a lot, actually."

"Explains a lot? Excuse _me_ , Tetris is an honorable pursuit!"

In the midst of the others' laughter, Zane lifted his head.

"I hear something."

Dead silence fell at once. The tunnel air suddenly seemed to grow colder as they all strained their ears. Far in the distance, rough voices were echoing, metal was clanging.

Technicians.

* * *

 **A/N: Welp, told you we'd get around to the off-screen death of characters we've seen before! Out you go, psycho truck-driver dude. The long warmup continues.**

 **But for now, a good old-fashioned ninja fricassee. I'm gonna have to add some more fighting to make the next chapter long enough . . .**


	36. So Close!

**Woohoo, extra fighting for you guys! That was fun to write.**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Uhh, do what? ^_^''**

 **Eris: On the upside, at least it's painless. He was asleep anyway, so he didn't feel a thing. Still, poor sap. It wasn't even his fault, he was sleeptalking . . .**

* * *

 **Sept 13**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded**

* * *

Lloyd slammed a hand down on the battery lantern, plunging the tunnel into pitch darkness. They all sprang softly to their feet, backing into a tight formation, judging each others' position by breath, warmth, and sheer intuition. Weapons whispered out of holsters. Through the darkness Jay heard a brisk _shlp-shlp_. Kai was licking the edge of his blade, testing its sharpness. Jay allowed himself a silent sigh of envy; Kai knew all the cool tricks.

"Do you think they heard us?" Zane's voice was barely above a breath.

"Probably not," Cole whispered back. "They're making too much noise. We'll have the advantage of surprise."

They waited silently, listening as the distant sounds echoed creepily down the tunnel. There were voices, footsteps, what sounded like wheels rolling over the tunnel floor. They seemed to be taking _forever._ Jay shifted his weight slightly from foot to foot, feeling sweat collecting on his forehead. Would they hurry up already? It felt like the darkness was crushing him.

Then he felt Mopp squirm behind him, and his heart plummeted to his feet. He'd forgotten to hide the aliens. It was too late now; all he could do was hope they knew enough to stay out of the way, and that the Technicians wouldn't notice them.

Not notice two squealing, semi-transparent, animated tentacled blobs.

Sure!

A faint glow shone down the fork of the tunnel they hadn't yet traveled, reflected from around a nearby bend. The ninja fixated on it, breathing slowly and evenly in preparation as the voices and noise drew nearer. It sounded like only a few people and Serpentine. They could do this.

Then the light swung around the bend, and the Technicians with it. There were four humans and a snake, pulling two carts amongst them. They caught sight of the ninja and froze.

"Ninjaaaaa-GO!" All five ninja hurled themselves down the tunnel, blazing in five bright Spinjitzu colors. In the cramped space, it was almost impossible not to brush against each other, and Jay soon felt the thwack of an opposing spin on his right as his Spinjitzu funnel crossed with Kai's. The force hurled them both apart, reeling and stumbling. The others were having similar difficulties; luckily the tenpin-tumbling effect did just as much to knock over the Technicians. Within seconds everyone was sprawled on the floor, and a full-scale brawl broke out.

"Does this seem strange to you?" said Zane measuredly, twirling a shuriken in either hand. "I do not see any bladed weapons."

One of the larger guys aimed a punch at the Nindroid's gut. He dodged smoothly, receiving only a light graze on the shoulder. Sparks flew as metal screamed against metal.

"They do have brass knuckles, however," Zane called. "We seem to be facing blunt weapons only."

"Sounds good to me!" gritted Cole, circling and weaving with another one of the Techs. Not wanting to distract him, Zane gave a terse nod and returned his full attention to his own opponent. Bringing the spinning shurikens to a halt and fixing them firmly in his grip, he bore down on the Technician, driving him back with short, threatening jabs. The man danced back anxiously. Unlike Jay's small backup shurikens, barely more than beestings, Zane's weapons were two rotors of powerful, impeccably weighted blades, gleaming at each razor-sharp edge. You didn't mess with them.

Cole's opponent looked nervous too. He circled cautiously around the earth ninja, seeming hesitant to get close. Cole smirked a little, sizing him up, then dove for a weak point on his chest. The man fell back with a gasp, and Cole followed, prepared to pin him and put him under with a neat tap to the jaw, as Sensei had taught them.

The Technician proved to have some tricks up his sleeve, however. Bringing his head up sharply, he fetched Cole a fairly significant blow to the forehead with his own.

"Ow!" Cole faltered, momentarily blinded by the impact. "Dude, that's your _own_ brain you're—"

The second's hesitation cost him, as the Technician flung himself sideways and rolled them both over, forcing Cole to the bottom. Simultaneously his hands closed around Cole's throat.

Technically Sensei had taught them how to deal with this kind of attack too, but none of them had ever gotten very good at it. Cole choked for a second, grasping at the Technician's arms and struggling to lever him away. He would probably have succeeded, but his efforts were interrupted by Lloyd sailing in from stage right and tackling the Technician halfway across the tunnel. He didn't stop to check if he'd knocked the guy out; he levered himself to his feet and returned to Cole.

"You okay?" he panted.

Cole was sitting up, gingerly twisting the pressing feeling away from his windpipe. He tried to look unruffled.

"I had it under control," he said. " . . . But thanks."

Lloyd hauled him to his feet, and they quickly backed against each other, ready for another assault. However, the guy Lloyd had tackled, and another guy he had been fighting earlier, both seemed to be skittering farther away from the main fight, looking a little overwhelmed. Cole and Lloyd glanced to each other, then exchanged a nod of understanding and plunged off after the two escapees.

"Gerroffame!" growled Jay meanwhile, rolling over and over grappling with one of the humans. When they came up against a wall, Jay used their momentum to slam the Technician to the floor, rolling to his feet. Suddenly the lone snake—a Fangpyre—came roaring in from behind. Jay let him come up against his shoulder, then swung him around and sent him stumbling backwards over the handcart Kai pushed into his way.

"Eat that!" Jay shook his fist after the snake, then whirled to kick back the first guy, who had by now clambered back to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a third Technician aiming a strange, bulky device at Kai.

"Look out!" he shouted. Kai turned, startled. The Technician's device made a strange _shhhhak!_ noise, and suddenly the top swung back and sprang forward blindingly fast, like a stamp in a factory. Kai ducked, but it probably wouldn't have been enough. He was saved by a block of ice hurtling in and knocking the Technician and his device aside. The machine's stamp slammed into the tunnel wall just by Kai's shoulder, and fell away leaving a metal bar lodged halfway through the wall. It had punched as neatly through the plate metal as a staple through paper.

Kai sat frozen for a second, his eyes fixed on the two-inch-wide projectile that had barely missed him.

"Son of a Skulkin." He looked up to Jay and Zane with a shaky smile. "So that's a pile driver."

Jay shook off a shudder and turned back to the battle. Some kind of chaos was playing out between the others a little farther down the tunnel. By the time Jay, Kai, and Zane reached them, the last of the Technicians were sprawled on the floor, unconscious. Jay barely noticed; his attention jumped immediately to Lloyd. The youngest ninja was flung back on his hands with blood coating his chin. Cole crouched next to him, one hand on his shoulder, asking something in an urgent, low tone.

No matter how many times you saw something like this happen, the cold shock never wore off.

"What happened?" barked Kai.

"I'm _fine_ —" Lloyd broke off to wipe his chin resentfully as more blood slopped over his lip. His eyes were watering, and he looked furious about it.

"What _is_ it wif these people and hitting me in the mou'gh?" he mumbled, one hand cupped over his lips. "Shum wise guy stuck a _knife_ in there."

"Knife?!" yelped Jay. "What if the blade was—"

"Ish _fine_ , ish _fine,_ " slurred Lloyd, pulling up the front of his gi and sopping at his chin doggedly. Finally he pulled the bunched fabric from his mouth and gave the others a reassuring smile. He spoke carefully, trying not to aggravate the bleeding. "It's okay, you guys, really. They stuck it hilt-first. I think they wanted to knock out my teeth or something; the blade just nicked my gum. I don't think cutting me was the point."

"Knock out your teeth?" Cole knit his brows.

"Yeah, pretty sure they cracked one, actually." Lloyd felt gingerly at his cheek, grimacing. "Ow. Man, I suck. The only knife in the entire posse and I have to get in its way."

"Can I see?" said Cole.

"Nahhh, it's a bloody mess in there." Lloyd pushed his hand away gently. "'sides, there's not much you could do. It'll stop in a minute."

"Are you sure you're okay?" said Kai.

"I'm finnnnnnnne, guys," said Lloyd. Jay could see from his eyes that he was starting to find the fuss a little funny, though he didn't say anything. Something you learned quickly in this trade was that making fun of others for caring was the best way to encourage them not to.

"Okayyy," sighed Cole, ruffling Lloyd's hair and standing up. "Everyone else all right?"

Affirmations all around.

"Well, not a bad job," said Cole, looking around at the downed Technicians and scattered electronics. "I guess we should head in the direction they were coming from—from the sound of it, there was a door just a little farther down this tunnel."

"Shouldn't we go back to get our—"

Zane was interrupted by a sudden brisk shuffle from farther down the corridor. The ninja quickly focused their attention in that direction; seconds later there was another metallic _shhhak!_ A metal rod burst from the darkness and drove itself into the floor inches away from Zane's foot.

"Someone's there!" Lloyd scrambled to his feet, summoning a fistful of whirling energy. The green light flooded down the tunnel and revealed two human forms, cast in sharp shadows. As soon as the light struck them they bolted like cockroaches.

"Get 'em!" called Cole, and without another thought the ninja dashed down the tunnel after the fleeing Technicians.

The tunnel curved a few times. They couldn't keep their targets in sight, but they could hear their rushing footsteps up ahead. Besides, there was nowhere else for them to go.

Then the confusion of clattering feet seemed to lessen slightly, and eventually they realized it was only their own footsteps they were hearing. They slowed, panting slightly. Finally they stopped. Dead silence fell.

"Where'd they go?" whispered Lloyd urgently, holding his light high. "They can't have just disappeared."

"Maybe they're holding still as well?" Kai murmured.

"This does not make sense," said Zane suddenly.

"What doesn't?"

"We didn't pass a door. We have run far enough that we should have passed the door that we heard the first group of Technicians coming in through."

Silence as the others digested this notion.

"You're right," said Kai. "Weird."

"We should go back," said Lloyd. "Maybe the doors are well-camouflaged and we just missed it. That would explain how the other two disappeared, too."

As the little group turned around to backtrack, Jay realized with surprise that Mopp was still clinging staunchly to his shoulder, half-in half-out of the hoodie. Meep had also kept the pace all throughout the mayhem, although the little alien looked a bit tired. Jay let him perch on his other shoulder to rest, petting him reassuringly. Maybe he'd give the aliens some water soon—

"Cole?" Lloyd, near the front of the group, looked over his shoulder. "What's up?"

The earth ninja was lagging behind, suddenly looking tense. He was shifting his gaze around the tunnel slowly, his expression intent, as if he heard something the others didn't.

"Something's wrong," he said softly.

"What?" The others turned back. "What do you hear?"

"No, I feel it," said Cole, his eyes growing wide. "Like something's about to—"

Suddenly everything around them seemed to sing out with a dull thunder. In a blurry half-second of confusion, the ground rolled, the tunnel walls buckled inwards, earth and stone showered in from every direction. Jay realized vaguely that this must be an explosion—just before the floor slid away from beneath him and plunged everything into darkness.


	37. Did He Died?

***Shakes ketchup bottle experimentally* Eh, there's still a little in there. The special effects budget is holding out longer than I'd expected. *Applies as needed***

 **Angel Star Ninja: Because when you're a Technician, it's cool to hit Lloyd in the mouth. But Jay, not so much. Poor Lloyd unwittingly earned himself that distinction. :P**

 **Elveron294: Well thanks! I'm not really handy with writing 'em myself, but they're necessary now and then, it's a freakin' ninja series. Thanks for watching the parody! Eh, just for future reference though, could you please not swear too hard in reviews? If I find a guest review with strong language, I kinda feel honor-bound to delete it, and that's not fun for either of us. ^_^''**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Fuhgeddaboutit**

 **Status conditions: Well, they can't _all_ be dead, the story's not over yet!**

* * *

Everything hurrrrrrt. It hurt really bad. Jay had the general sensation that if he moved, or opened his eyes, or in any way came closer to being fully conscious, it would start hurting a whole lot more. Armed with this knowledge, he made a tactical decision to stay half-conscious for as long as possible.

" _Eeeeeeee?_ "

Clearly that wouldn't be very long.

Groaning, he tried to ignore the insistent patting sensation on his forehead. Apparently an alien was trying to smack him into consciousness. Vaguely some part of him registered surprise that the aliens were even here, though he couldn't figure out why . . .

Then he remembered that they'd just gone through an explosion, and sat bolt upright. He came up against the ceiling midway through the attempt and fell back again.

He'd been right, everything _did_ hurt a whole lot more with the sudden movement. He barely noticed it, though; he looked around frantically, trying to take in his surroundings. It was pitch-dark.

" _Eeeee! Weep weep!_ "

There were two chirping voices, which was heartening. Jay shakily lit a fistful of electricity, and immediately wished he hadn't. The crackling white-blue light illuminated a jagged, tiny, low-ceilinged space, studded with boulders. It was like the inside of a rubble heap. Inadvertantly he shrank into himself a little. So _trapped . . ._ How had none of these boulders crushed him?

" _Wrrrrrm_ ," said Mopp sternly. Jay tore his gaze away from his surroundings to stare down at the aliens, still a little dazed. Amazingly, considering that they were both squishy and had insides the consistency of kisiel, both the aliens seemed fine. If a little dusty.

Then his foggy brain landed on the thought of the others.

Oh no.

Forgetting all about his claustrophobia, Jay scrabbled up onto all fours, his heart revving in his chest. They'd been crushed! All of them! There was no way these boulders could have missed anyone else! Oh no oh no oh no oh no—

"Guys!" he yelped hoarsely. "Kai? Lloyd? Cole, Zane! Anyone? Anyone!"

"Jay?" A nearby layer of rubble fell away, revealing a small gap, and Zane poked his head through. His eyes were flashing like baby-blue turn signals as he blinked rapidly, clearly frightened.

"Zane!" Jay threw his arms around him. The Nindroid shifted back a little, startled.

"You're okay," said Jay breathlessly. "The others—?"

"They are here," said Zane. "They are all unconscious, but alive. I think nobody is severely injured."

Blowing out a long, relieved breath, Jay motioned for Zane to back up, then squirmed through the narrow gap to join the Nindroid, pulling Meep and Mopp with him. This other space was a bit bigger, although it still felt terrifyingly close to being buried alive. Even their voices had an odd muffled closeness to them, like speaking into a mailbox.

Jay checked over the others with the electric light. Kai had apparently been partially buried with rubble, but Zane had already dug him out. Lloyd gave Jay a bit of a turn, with blood all over his face, but then the lightning ninja remembered that his mouth had been bleeding beforehand. It seemed to have stopped now, so he should be fine.

"We probably should not rush waking them," said Zane. "They might have internal injuries."

Nodding miserably, Jay settled back on his haunches, turning the light down a little. He didn't want to see too much of his surroundings. Without a distraction, he kept feeling like the ceiling would slam down and crush him at any moment.

"That was because you were glad to see me, right?" ventured Zane after a moment.

"Wh . . . what?" Jay blinked. "Ohh—heh—that. Uh, well, yeah, I guess glad might be the word. Relieved."

"Thank you; that's helpful. Lloyd said it was most effective to observe others' behavior to learn the reasons for hugs," said Zane. "So I am trying to collect a database of proper times."

Despite everything, Jay almost smiled.

Now that he was properly informed, Zane took it upon himself to hug everyone as soon as they woke up. He got no objections, although he did get a fair bit of groggy confusion.

"Is everyone okay?" said Cole, once everyone was more or less awake.

"I feel like I went through a gravel grinder, but otherwise fine." Kai glanced up at the ceiling with some disbelief. "I can't _believe_ we survived that."

"There must have been another open space underneath the Technicians' tunnel," said Cole. "The explosion opened up the floor and dumped us into it, then dumped a bunch of rocks on top of _us._ It is pretty unbelievable, yeah."

"They knew we were coming," said Kai. "And we walked right into it."

"Man, what a bunch of dummies we are," sighed Cole. "But at least we're live dummies."

"But what do we do now?" asked Jay anxiously. "We're trapped down here! We might as well not have survived, if we're gonna slowly suffocate in this tiny hole. I would like to not suffocate!"

"Relax, Jay," said Kai. "We can probably just dig our way back up."

"Uhh . . . " Cole tested the rocks above him carefully with one hand. "I wouldn't do that. Some of these boulders are just barely balancing above us. One wrong move and—"

"D-don't," blurted Jay, his voice skipping.

A moment of uneasy silence.

"So what do we do?" asked Zane.

"I . . . I don't know," said Cole hesitantly. He looked around, chewing his lip. "There must be something."

"'Must be something'? Something?! 'Something' is getting crushed under ten tons of rock!" burst out Jay.

"Jay, easy," said Lloyd, but Jay ignored him. Once he got himself established into a solid track of panic, he made a point of not stopping till it had run its course.

"We're hooped no matter what we do, aren't we? Trapped in this tiny space, running out of air, rocks about to cave in on our heads any moment! And even if we do survive, even if we do get out of this hole, what then?! We left our backpacks behind! We have no food! Barely any water! No survival tools! How are we supposed to escape from SIX MILES UNDERGROUND?!"

"Jay," said Kai. "You're using up the air and scaring the aliens."

Jay groaned and sank his head into his hands.

"Take it easy, would you?" Kai's voice softened. "We're _alive_. When Nash's crew tries to bump you off, that's a huge accomplishment by itself."

"Oh, you just say the nicest things . . . " Jay mumbled despairingly.

"I mean it, though. At least we still have a chance. And if—once— _once_ we get out, they won't have a clue that we're coming! That's in our favor."

"We're six miles underground, Kai," said Jay. "We're not gonna get out."

"It's probably two miles at the very most, and not with an attitude like that we're not," said Cole. He was already tapping at the confines of the space, scooting gingerly over the uneven floor. "Keep it together, guys. If there was an open space underneath the tunnels, there's probably more open spaces nearby. Pockets don't just open up for no reason."

Jay gnawed at his fingers morosely, trying to resist the urge to pull at his hair. Death was looming large and black in his vision, seemingly inescapable. What he would _give_ right now to be in a nice gigantic open meadow and just run around in circles . . .

" _Chooooooo_ ," said Mopp softly, clambering to his shoulder and patting his cheek. Jay petted him unthinkingly. Cor, he hadn't thought he'd go out like this.

"I found something!" Cole's voice was full of barely-restrained jubilation. "There's a hollow space beyond here!"

"How _far_ beyond there?" asked Jay, looking dubiously at the wall of rubble Cole was focusing on.

"Not too far, or I wouldn't be able to feel it. I'm gonna try to dig through to the other side!" Cole looked back to the others. "Uhh . . . be alert, okay? I'm going to be as careful as I can, but I can't guarantee the ceiling won't, uh . . . do stupid things."

Jay groaned. Looking tense, the others sat a little closer together to watch as Cole began to dig, carefully scooping away dirt, wiggling rocks out of their spots one by one.

The surface layer came away easily enough. Then the rocks grew bigger, more firmly lodged. Some of them seemed to be weight-bearing. One rock was stubborn; when Cole pulled it out, the ceiling gave a sinister groan. Everyone cringed, waiting . . . but for now the boulders held.

Cole continued in silence, slowly, sweat beading on his forehead. The others sat there, their nerves ready to snap as the ceiling continued to give the occasional heavy grumble. A small shower of pebbles suddenly spurted from between two boulders, and Lloyd shied away so violently that he slammed back against Jay's shoulder. For a second their wide-eyed gazes met; then Jay glommed unabashedly onto the younger ninja and held on for dear life.

The air in the tiny space was getting ominously warm and sleepy-feeling. Nobody dared urge Cole to dig any faster. By now he'd progressed several feet, and was halfway into the hole pawing away like a rabbit. A rabbit with an acute knowledge of physics and its own mortality.

Then Cole gave a muffled bark of triumph, and there was the sharp clatter of rubble showering away.

"Is everything okay?" called Kai. Cole slithered back into the tiny space, covered in dirt and grinning like a mad dog. A wave of cool air followed him.

"Let's get outta here," he said.

You could feel a burst of stifled elation go through everyone. They didn't dare cheer—it seemed like even a feeling of excessive excitement might bring the roof down.

"You go." Jay unglommed himself from Lloyd and gave him a nudge towards the tiny escape gap.

"N-no, you." Lloyd managed a game smile. "I'll last a few more seconds."

Smiling gratefully, Jay squirmed into the small tunnel and began to wiggle his way through, pushing Mopp before him. Rocks scraped his cheeks and caught at his clothes, but it only lasted for a few feet; then he felt the space open up around him. Lighting another fistful of electricity, he found himself in a narrow tunnel, stretching out farther than he could see before him. He took a grateful gulp of air. Compared to the tiny space underneath the rubble, this felt downright cavernous.

Lloyd plowed into him from behind. They both laughed shakily, then moved aside a little to make room as the others scrabbled out, one by one, Cole going last.

"Whoo!" The earth ninja flopped down in a cloud of dust. "Well. That was a thing. Everyone still okay?"

Dizzy affirmations all around. They stayed put for a while, recovering from the ordeal.

"Here's one question," said Cole at last. "That explosion was definitely on purpose. They must have planted charges behind the tunnel walls to make a trap. But how did they know we were coming?"

A thoughtful silence.

"The Venomari thugs," said Zane suddenly. "The ones who attacked us in Skales' kingdom."

"Of course!" groaned Lloyd. "If their boss switched to working for the Technicians, all the other slobber dealers must be working for them too! When they saw us down in the snake kingdom, they must have figured out why we were there and gone straight to the Techs to set up a trap."

"Shoot." Cole scruffed gravel out of his hair. "That was a really fast job they did. These guys must have experience."

A few defeated sighs.

"We'd barely even started the mission," said Kai heavily.

"No kidding. All that preparing, then we spend what, an hour or two in their territory, and then we walk straight into a trap and nearly get killed." Jay slid down the wall. "We fail so bad . . . "

"Heyyyyyyy, hey. Like Kai said. We're _alive_ ," said Cole. "I'd still rather be a live dummy than a dead one."

"How about a trapped one?" said Jay glumly. The spacious feeling of the tunnel had faded away by now, and he was again starting to feel a smidge claustrophobic.

"Oh, I wouldn't say trapped . . . " Cole squinted at the nearest wall, running his hand up and down the surface. Then he grinned. "These are bore marks. We're in another mine!"

"Another one?"

"Yeah, this isn't the Serpentine one—judging how quiet it is, this one's abandoned. But where there's a mine, there's a way to the surface!"

"You mean we can get out?" Lloyd perked up. Cole waved a hand ebulliently.

"No problem."

"All right!" Lloyd scrambled to his feet. "What are we waiting for? The sooner we get out, the sooner we can go after the Technicians again!"

"And . . . they do still think we're dead," said Kai. "They won't see us coming."

"See? We practically have the upper hand by now!"

"There we go, that's the spirit," said Cole gamely. "Just a bit of a detour through a nice mine here."

Squinting down the long stone corridor ahead of them, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted "hello!" His hollow voice shot out into the darkness, leaving silence. Then an eerie collection of echoes began bouncing back, layered over each other, surprisingly loud.

"Sounds pretty big," said Cole. "Definitely a mine."

Just then a heavy rumble sounded from behind them, and the ground vibrated beneath their feet. Disturbed by Cole's shout, the pile of rubble they had just climbed out of suddenly collapsed in on itself, spitting jets of dust. Everyone shied away a little as the tiny hollow space that had saved them was violently obliterated.

The rocks quickly settled. The dust cleared. Nobody said anything for a few moments, although Jay eventually realized that he'd caught hold of Kai's arm when the rumbling started. He let go hastily.

"Yeah." Cole broke the silence, smiling wanly. "I'd say so far our luck's been pretty good."

* * *

 **A/N: These guys are good at psyching themselves up, aren't they? It's a necessary skill when you fail as epically as they do. :P**

 **Say, going forward: Do you guys prefer two average-length chapters, or a single really long one?**


	38. Unpopular Opinion Puffininja

**Man, you guys. Thank you so much for over 400 reviews! I can't tell you how much it means to me. Life's really been fracturing my ribs lately, and I appreciate your kind words at a time like this more than I can say.**

 **Thanks for all the feedback on the previous chapter, too. The results were kinda tied, so in the end I went for a longer combined chapter.**

 **Tachonite is iron ore, by the bye.**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Careful there, they may be a little bruised still. ^_^''**

 **Elveron294: Thank you! :)**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Nnnnnope**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth and light bleeding, various minor injuries, trapped underground (Hoosh, now it's starting to look like the Oregon Trail down here!)**

* * *

In comparatively optimistic spirits, they set out down the passage, stepping over rubble and the occasional abandoned mine tool.

"This is kinda creepy," said Lloyd, eyeing an overturned hard hat. "So, why did they abandon this place anyway?"

"Eh, the usual," said Cole. "Unleashed an ancient evil sleeping deep beneath the ground, killed the Balrog, ended up laying a curse on the entire mine." He chuckled at Lloyd's unamused look. "No, but really. They probably just ran out of stuff to dig. I'm guessing that this is the old Cooper tachonite mine, and it shut down decades ago."

"What if they sealed off the entrance?" said Jay anxiously.

"They probably did. No big deal, nothing we can't bust through when we get there."

"But if it's sealed, what if we run out of air?"

"There's plenty of air. It's a really big mine."

"But if it's so big, how long will it take us to get out? We have no food and almost no wa—"

"Jay." Cole looked over his shoulder. "Relax, okay?"

"Well excuse me for having legitimate concerns!"

"You're not excused," retorted Cole good-naturedly. "I'm disappointed in you, Zaptrap. Not even a joke about a tachonite mine being the kind where they only dig on taco night?"

"I'm not about to joke about food when I might be about to starve to death!"

"Yeesh, even _I_ haven't started worrying about food yet—"

At this point they were interrupted when Kai, leading the way with a handful of flame, suddenly stopped.

"There's a drop-off here."

The tunnel did indeed grow narrow and slant very steeply ahead. It was precariously close to a vertical drop. Kai held his light as far down the shaft as he could, but he couldn't light more than a few feet. Lloyd threw down a few energy balls, but they always fizzled out quickly, not far enough to tell much.

"I hope there's not carbon dioxide down there," said Kai grimly.

"I hope there's a _floor_ down there," said Jay. "Like, soon."

Zane picked up a small stone and tossed it down the shaft. Some sketchy clatters echoed up, as if it were rolling, but no distinctive "clack!" of landing.

"Wellllllll, now what?" said Kai. "I mean, even I don't think just jumping down there is a good idea. It could go on for miles."

Meanwhile Jay tried to shoo Meep away from the drop-off as the little alien peered curiously down into the depths. Then the blue ninja registered a double-take.

"You guys! We can send Meep!"

"Send him, what good is that?"

"He can tell us if it's safe!"

Despite Kai's disbelief, and the others' somewhat dubious looks, Jay took the little alien in hand and began explaining what they needed him to do. Meep listened, tilting slightly like a curious dog tilts its head. He seemed to understand.

"Hey, how about this then." Kai looked around for a moment, then picked up a broken pickaxe handle and lit the end on fire. "Do you think your overgrown Swedish Fish would know enough to carry this with him?"

"Sure, but why?"

"Well, even if he can't tell us anything, at least we'll know if there's carbon dioxide." Kai handed the guttering torch to the alien, who grasped it willingly, looking curiously up at the flame. He seemed to understand he shouldn't touch it, though. Honestly he looked rather intrepid, holding it aloft like a tiny water-filled explorer.

"Why're you so hung up on carbon dioxide, anyway?" asked Lloyd, as Meep swished the torch experimentally. "Isn't it pretty much everywhere?"

"A little bit, sure," said Kai. "But it's heavier than air, so sometimes lots of it collects in the lowest place it can find—like the bottom of a mine. You get into a pool of that stuff, and you'll drown in midair."

Some unnerved looks.

"What is it with you and being morbid today?" said Cole.

"Well, it's true. But flames can't burn without oxygen, so if he comes back up with a lit torch, it's safe."

"You be careful, little buddy," said Jay, petting Meep fervently between the eyes. "Don't take chances! Come right back the moment anything seems fishy, all right?"

Kai gave a soulful roll of his eyes.

"I just hope he knows enough to come back at all."

With a chirp of farewell, Meep dropped out of sight, trailing a streak of sparks. The ninja peered down the shaft after him, but the torchlight was no longer visible; only a faint yellow glow shining on one wall of the tunnel.

"Meep?" called Jay. Mopp, perched on his shoulder, gave an anxious cry. From below echoed a reassuring " _tweedle tweedle!_ ", followed by a familiar electronic note. Mopp answered with another note, Meep called back, and the aliens began to sing their alternating duet over long-distance, filling the steep shaft with strange echoing harmonies. Meep's end of the song eventually grew a little distracted, and there was some faint scrabbling.

Even before Jay could start worrying, though, Meep's echoing echoing voice drew closer again. The little alien suddenly shot back into sight, torch blazing before him. He popped out of the shaft like a Wack-a-Mole and greeted his friends with a perfect replica of the _Fist to Face_ "Victory!" riff.

"I don't _believe_ this critter," said Cole. Meep solemnly presented him with a pebble, indicating that there was indeed a floor down there.

"Hah! You did it!" Jay swung the alien around proudly, nearly singeing himself on the torch. "Good boy, Meep!"

Mopp, equally proud, clambered down Jay's arm to whap Meep approvingly on the head.

"Well, the torch is still burning," said Kai, rolling his eyes again at the hoopla. "And nothing exploded. So I guess that means it's safe to breathe down there, at least."

"How's the landing?" asked Jay. Meep, nested comfortably in his arms, began to babble fervently and flail his tentacles, providing a commentary rather like that of a six-month-old first presented with pureed sweet potatoes. He finished it all up with a vehement " _ooooiiiiii-yup!_ "

"Annnd . . . what did all that mean?" said Kai.

"Uh . . . " Jay reddened. "Well, uh . . . I think I recognized some of it . . . " He glanced awkwardly to the alien. "Think you could repeat that more slowly?"

"The drop is about four meters," interrupted Zane quietly. "Or twelve feet."

"You understand them?!" Jay looked at him incredulously.

"No," said Zane. "But my internal timer is working, even if my clock is not. I timed how long he took to leave and return. Then, assuming that he free-fell to the bottom and returned at a rate of half a meter per second, I multiplied the gravitational constant by the square of his mass, added approximately three Newtons of air resistance, subtracted the . . . " He trailed off as he saw the others looking progressively more bewildered. "Well, I did some calculations. PIXAL also did her own calculation based on the sound delay of Meep's chirps, and it also worked out as roughly twelve feet."

"Nice job," said Cole. "Pays to have a Nindroid or two come along!"

"Don't forget the aliens," said Jay. "They couldn't have done any calculations without Meep going down there. I knew it was a good idea bringing them!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, hooray for the aliens too." Cole blinked innocently as Jay gave him a glare. "What?"

"Well, let's get going," interrupted Kai impatiently. "We just wasted a ton of time running tests on a drop that wasn't even dangerous."

"Hey, you were the one saying you didn't want to jump down there," retorted Cole. "We're in perilous territory here. Every step's gotta be a careful one." He glanced down the shaft, rubbing his hands. "I'll go first."

"Are you sure? I might be a bit more durable," said Zane.

"Nah, twelve feet isn't too bad, and you don't really breathe much. Just in case there actually is something nasty down there, better to send someone who would notice."

"Wait, is this safe—" began Jay, but Cole waved him off.

"Only one way to find out."

Backing up slightly, he motioned for the others to move out of the way and took a deep breath, sizing up the steep drop. Then he took two steps over the edge and vanished down into the darkness.

The others clustered anxiously around the mouth of the drop-off, listening. There was some indistinct shuffling and thumping, then a muffled whoop from Cole.

"Are you okay?" called Kai.

"Yeah, it's fine!" Cole's voice bounced up. "Hah! We were worried for nothing. C'mon down, it actually turns into a slide a few feet in, and then there's a little drop at the end and a smooth floor. Nothing to worry about!"

"Is that all?" Jay shouted down. "Nothing else?"

"Uh, nothin'. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing at all?" persisted Jay.

"Whaaaaaaat, don't you trust me?"

"No!"

An annoyed noise from Cole.

"Fine, fine, so there's like a foot of water down here, that's all. Kinda cold, but no big deal. It softens the landing."

"I knew it!"

Snorting, Jay tucked Mopp firmly into his hoodie and jumped down next. He made a point of landing sloppily, sending a sheet of water over Cole.

"This is why I don't trust you!" he said, scowling up at the dripping ninja.

"Nice," grumbled Cole. "And what do you _mean_ you don't trust me?"

"Just what it sounds like." Jay deftly swept his feet out from underneath him. "Thought it'd be funny if we got a cold shock, huh?"

Just then Zane slid in, sticking an impeccable upright landing with barely a splash. He tilted his head curiously at Jay and Cole, who were both still sitting where they'd landed. Then he decided there must be some logic to this and plunked down to join them. Cole shook his head, trying not to smile.

"Zane, you dork," he said fondly, getting up and helping the confused Nindroid to his feet.

Kai came down next, attempting a square landing and failing utterly. Lloyd somehow managed to submerge himself completely, resurfacing coughing but exuberant. Even Zane started to laugh; now that Lloyd's hair was wet it flopped down well past his eyes. Lloyd pushed his bangs back, grinning.

"Very funny. I hope this isn't sewer water."

"What?!" Jay sputtered. "Yeugh!"

"It seems clean . . . " said Cole. Zane's eyes flickered brighter for a second, sending out twin blue beams.

"Scans indicate low bacterial load," he announced. "PIXAL detects various trace minerals, however, including sodium, potassium, calcium, and magnesium."

"Annnd that means? . . . " said Kai.

"This is groundwater," said Zane. "The same you would obtain from a well."

"Oh, well then! We've just solved our water problem," said Cole. He started slightly as Meep performed a graceful porpoise leap next to him. The aliens were both swimming in happy circles, showing their true octopus-like natures with undulating pulses of their tentacles.

"Plenty enough for the aliens too," said Lloyd, ducking as Mopp splashed at him playfully. "I bet their home planet was covered in oceans, and it's been forever since they got to swim around all they wanted."

"I don't know about the salt, though," fretted Jay. "This water probably isn't salty enough to balance out their bodies, they might start taking on too much water, they might have cells lysing . . . "

"Just listen to him, would you?" said Kai.

"Like an old mother hen." Cole shook his head woefully.

"Well, excuse me for not wanting them to die down here!"

"Relaaaax. They managed just fine with totally fresh water for a day or two when we first took them in, didn't they?" said Cole. "We'll be out of here before anything can happen to them."

"You better be right," muttered Jay, scooping Mopp out of the water protectively. "I still don't trust you."

"Seriously, what is _up_ with that?"

* * *

The five ninja splashed along through the water for a few hours. It varied in depth, sometimes sloshing around their ankles, sometimes almost up to their waists. The floor was slimy underfoot; pretty soon they got so used to slipping that they stopped finding it funny. If you fell, the nearest person would just haul you back to your feet without missing a beat in the conversation. Or not, depending on how recently you'd last wiped out.

A cold breeze blew across their faces regularly, and Jay tried to focus on that instead of the miles of rock overhead. No matter how long he stayed down here, he never got used to it. Rather the opposite, actually.

On the other hand, Meep and Mopp seemed to be doing perfectly fine, the lucky dogs. Occasionally they had to pull themselves over the floor a little bit in shallower water, but they showed no desire to go back to being carried.

In one stretch of shallows Zane tilted his head.

"Do you hear something?" he said.

"Hear what?" said Cole. Everyone stopped, waiting for the glugging of their footsteps to die away. In the silence you could hear the faint moan of the wind blowing. Jay shuddered for what must have been the tenth time that day.

Then suddenly, mixed in with the moaning came a soft shuffling, scratching noise.

"Is that? . . . " Lloyd looked around keenly.

"It's coming from there." Cole nodded towards a small hole in the nearby wall. "Let's have a look."

Cautiously he approached the chink in the rock, trying not to make a sound. The shuffling from inside it continued, accompanied by a soft peeping noise. Cole hesitated, then drew his dagger and tapped the hilt lightly against the wall.

"Anybody home?"

There came a demonic screech, and an enormous black rat came hurtling out of the hole, hissing and flailing through the air like an amateur flying squirrel. Cole gave a startled yelp and tumbled backwards. Meanwhile the rat landed in the water with a splash and swam away at an absolutely motorboat pace, hissing furiously all the while.

" . . . Well." Cole stared after the rat for a moment. Then he laughed. "Well, so we know there's a way in, at least. And I guess we've solved our food problem too!"

"You want to _eat rats?!_ " spluttered Jay.

"Why not? It's better than starving."

"Yeah, rats are actually pretty good!" said Lloyd eagerly. "If we find enough wood down here, I can cook them up really nice."

He got the full complement of strange looks.

"Whaaaat?" he said. "I was seven years old when I ran away from Darkley's Boarding School, and it's not like I had any money. I got _really_ good at catching and cooking rats."

"You were living on _rats_ out there?" said Kai.

"Yeah, I must've eaten a million. At first I was chasing them down by hand, which was really kinda hopeless, but then I figured out how to make these neat little traps, and I baited them with bits of garbage and stuff, and—" Lloyd broke off when he saw the look on Kai's face. "Hey. Don't start getting all drippy on me!"

"Who, me?" said Kai, endeavoring not to look like a piece of his heart had been unceremoniously knocked out.

"Come onnnnnn." Lloyd scoffed. "Even I'm not sorry for me. They were pretty good eatin'."

"You seriously ate them?" Jay still seemed to be in the initial horror mode. "Rats?!"

"Geez!" Lloyd rolled his eyes, starting off down the tunnel again. "I know they have a bad reputation and all, but there's really nothing wrong with them if you just—"

"Nothing _wrong_ with _eating_ them?"

"They're pretty hygienic if you—"

"Hygiene?!" Jay dragged a hand down his face as if not believing what he was hearing. "Unbelievable! What else did you eat, baby pandas? Orphaned puppies? Kittens with disabilities?"

"Uh . . . what?" Lloyd looked back at him oddly.

"Rats are not for eating!" Jay waved his hands as if this should be the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you _know_ how intelligent they are? How sensitive and civilized?"

Lloyd looked at him in silence. So did everyone else.

"I would know these things!" he said indignantly. "When I was growing up in the junkyard, my pet rat was my best friend in the whole world!"

"Ohhhhhh," chorused the others. Lloyd sighed.

"Oh boy."

* * *

About half an hour later, the little group was still on the move, significantly noisier than before.

"How could you? How. _Could_ you?!" Jay was ranting. "Rats are highly intelligent, affectionate, respectable creatures! Poor old Choo was more loyal than any dog, and probably smarter too! And you just _ate_ them? By the brace? They're not chicken drumsticks! They deserve better!"

"I had to eat." Lloyd was unamused by Jay's outrage.

"Well you don't have to go bragging about it _now_ , then! Eating rats by the million, I can't even—"

"All right, all right," said Lloyd wearily. "I'm sorry I ate your pet rat's family or whatever, okay?"

"You just _better_ not have eaten his family," muttered Jay. "Youuuuuu . . . I bet you're the reason he was an orphan!"

Lloyd, resigned, merely rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Kai chuckled.

"Yep, that's our Lloyd. Heartless destroyer of rat worlds."

"I'll eat your family and make you watch," agreed Lloyd, grinning wickedly. "If you're a rat, that is."

"You _horrible person_ ," Jay growled.

"Aww, but I'm reformed now!" Lloyd placed a hand on his heart. "I understand how wonderful rats are, and I solemnly swear I will never eat another rat. Take that as a sign of my good intentions! I'm giving them up forever . . . even knowing how _tasty_ they are."

"Can we just please not talk about this anymore?" groaned Cole from the front, over Kai's laughter and Jay's protestations. "Just, any of it."

"I refuse to drop this subject!" Jay pointed accusingly at Lloyd. "You're supposed to be the animal lover! _You_ were the one who nagged the mayor till he made the NNC animal shelter no-kill! _You_ were the one who nearly cried when Nya used to kill ants off the counter with a sponge. Stupid _ants!_ "

"I was nine years old," said Lloyd, reddening. "And I didn't cry."

"Pretty sure you did," said Kai.

"I did _not_."

"It was out of remorse at the memory of the thousands of rats you slaughtered, wasn't it?" said Kai solemnly.

"I have no remorse!" Lloyd tried to glare, but wound up chuckling at the ascending collection of furious noises Jay was producing. "The only good rat is a roasted one."

"Woah, don't you think that's a little extreme?" said Kai. "I mean, I'm sure they must be good fried too."

"Guys!" Cole turned around and caught Jay by the back of the shirt just before he could mow Lloyd and Kai to the floor. "Quit baiting him, okay? Enough's enough. And that's even coming from _me._ And on the other end of the line, Jay, keep your shirt on. With any luck we will be out of here before we have to eat any rats, and freaking out will not bring back your pet rat's roasted family."

"Roasted—Is there not _one_ civilized person in this entire team?!" growled Jay. "That's it, I don't trust any of you."

"Well, hooray for you," said Cole. He sounded a bit saltier than he'd probably intended.

"Get your priorities straight, would you?" said Kai as they continued walking. "There was a tiny seven-year-old kid wandering around in the wilderness, scrabbling to catch enough food to survive, and you feel sorry for the _rats?_ "

Jay huffed and looked away, folding his arms. It did dawn on him that he'd probably overreacted, but admitting it would just make him look stupider. If he kept a sulky silence, maybe he could give the impression that he'd been in the right.

"Aw, c'mon, Jay," coaxed Lloyd, catching up to him and nudging his arm. "We're sorry."

Ahhhh, _crud._ Why'd the kid have to go and apologize? Now he really looked unreasonable. Stewing, Jay glanced to the aliens for sympathy, but even they seemed to be eyeing him judgmentally. He blew out an angry breath.

"Yeah, whatever, whatever, just forget about it."

"We were just kidding." Lloyd looked a little hurt, but when Jay didn't reply he shrugged and drifted away again. Jay mentally cursed his stupid over-active panic center that always landed him defending indefensible positions. Why couldn't he be like Kai, who seemingly never felt he'd made a mistake getting angry?

The fire ninja in question yawned. They were all starting to feel the effects of running around, fighting Technicians, getting buried alive, and stumbling through mines for hours.

"How long till we get out?" asked Lloyd after a while, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "We don't seem to be going any higher."

"There's probably a vertical shaft . . . somewhere . . . I guess . . . " said Cole. He sandpapered one hand over his eye, sighing. "We need to rest."

As if in answer, the ground started to slope slightly beneath their feet. The water grew shallower and shallower, and eventually they all stepped out into a medium-sized chamber hollowed out of the stone. Six different tunnels, including their own, led into the chamber from six different directions.

"A junction!" said Cole. "Perfect. We can rest here."

"You want to spend the night underground?!" protested Jay.

"Sorry Sparky, but it looks like we're not getting out of here for a while," said Cole. "And it must be midnight or something above-ground. We need to sleep."

"But . . . here?" said Jay miserably, looking around. The dark mouths of the tunnels yawned from six different directions, some of them spitting cold breezes and creepy Gregorian hums. He'd just as soon camp in a graveyard. On Halloween. During the zombie apocalypse.

"Well hey, the floor is dry," said Kai. "That's somethin' special already."

Jay made his most miserable face. The others were already settling down, searching for any patch of rock that might be a little less unforgiving than the others. Even Meep was pulling Mopp across the floor, getting him out of the water. Jay sighed and picked the injured alien up to help out.

"Not the warmest down here . . . " remarked Lloyd.

"Yeah. Curl up to minimize your surface area, I guess," yawned Cole, tugging down the sleeves of his gi. "Hopefully it'll get a little better once our clothes dry out."

"Uhh . . . " Lloyd looked around, clearly also unhappy about their camping site, but said nothing more.

"All right, one time over before bed," said Cole. "In order of injury. Kai, how's the leg?"

"Pretty good. It was starting to get a little sore back there, but nothing serious."

"'kay, you can rest it up now. Jay, your arm holding up okay?"

"Oh." Jay had actually forgotten about his shoulder wound. He tugged aside the neck of his gi now to check. "Yeah, I think it's fine. Stitches are holding. Not infected or anything."

"And Lloyd, how's the mouth?"

"The wh—" Lloyd started and spaced out for a moment, like he'd just remembered something. Then he shook out his head. "Oh, uh, my tooth? I guess it's fine. It still kinda zings, but nothing's bleeding. 's fine."

"It's been hurting all this time?" Cole tilted his head in concern. "Can I take a look at it now?"

"It's just cracked or something," said Lloyd. "It's not like there's a dentist anywhere down here, looking at it won't help."

There was a slight note of impatience to his tone, as if his mind was elsewhere, but nobody noticed. They were all acting a little wacky by now.

However, as soon as some minor quarrel started about which was the best way to angle yourself to minimize the wind chill, Lloyd surreptitiously pulled Kai aside.

"Kai," he whispered. "I don't have my mouthguard."

"Oh no." Kai groaned softly. "It was in your backpack?"

"Uhhh . . . y-yeah, I . . . " Lloyd looked away, sighing. "No, not even. I forgot to bring it at all."

He braced for a new variant of the "great planning" spiel from earlier, but Kai only sighed.

"S'fine, kiddo. I didn't think we'd be spending the night down here either."

"I'll last a night or two, right?" said Lloyd hopefully. "Maybe I've stopped doing the sleeptalking . . . thing."

"'fraid not," said Kai. "You were doing it only last night. Getting kinda pushy about it, too."

"Pushy?" Lloyd's insides went cold.

"Yeah. I mean, you were about as coherent as a Dawin trap break, but you were really _loud_. I thought you might wake up the others, so I went over to stop you, and you nearly gave me a black eye."

Lloyd said nothing. The cave seemed to spin around him. Wu had been right . . . the dark magic _was_ taking over. Even as the mouthguard prevented him from activating the spell, it only made him more determined to use it. Where was this going to end?

"'ey, relax." Kai nudged his shoulder. "I've just thought of something. Even if the others do hear you with the mouthguard one of these nights, you can just tell them that it's for sleep apnea. I mean, it's kinda true, right? That _is_ what the mouthguard is for. Usually."

"Y . . . yeah, yeah." Lloyd shook himself out of his thoughts and decided to let Kai think he was just worried about the others finding out. He couldn't bring himself to tell his best friend that he was inadvertantly completing his path to the Dark Side in his sleep.

"S-so, what do I do for tonight?" he said. "You think I should stay awake?"

"Nah," yawned Kai, settling down sleepily. "Can't go stumbling around down here sleep-deprived. Just stay close to me, okay?"

"Close? . . . "

"Yeah, somewhere I can roll over and muffle you fast if you start talking. I'll sleep lightly."

"Oh." Lloyd settled down in his current spot.

They all had a rather uncomfortable time of it. The floor was hard and unrelentingly cold, and the breeze running down the tunnels seemed to particularly like hugging the ground. It was at least a half-hour before everyone could stop shivering enough to fall asleep, except for Zane, who drifted off immediately. Still, one by one the others began to drop into a snooze, most of them curled tightly into themselves.

Lloyd tossed for a while, chilly and disheartened. His tooth hurt more than he was willing to let on, his mind was filled with thoughts of the Cursed Realm, and he was honestly afraid to fall asleep. Now that everyone had shut off their elements, it was absolutely and completely dark down here, nothing but the black void and the groaning wind and the cold, hard floor beneath him. He tried to listen for the others' breaths, but the breeze usually drowned them out. For all he knew, he might be all alone down here. Or stranded in outer space.

"Kai?" he finally whispered, swallowing his pride. The fire ninja was apparently already asleep, though.

"Anyone?"

No dice. He stifled a sigh, weighing the notion of just rolling into someone and claiming it had been an accident in the morning. It was so _cold_ . . .

Then something warm and squishy bumped into him, nearly scaring him out of his skin.

" _Ob-la-dee? Oi?_ " It was just Mopp. Meep boinged through the darkness and plopped onto Lloyd's side, nestling down comfortably. With a grateful smile, Lloyd reached over to pet him, then snuggled Mopp under one arm. The aliens were pretty small, but at least they were warm and alive and an assurance that he wasn't really alone down here.

"If anyone complains about you guys coming along again," he whispered, "Immuna punch 'em."

" _Oooo._ " Mopp patted his chin approvingly. Lloyd chuckled softly and shut his eyes, daring to drift off to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Tsh. Lloyd, you dork, subtlety is lost on this crew. The aliens are the only ones who speak subtlety.**

 **Jay's pet rat was called Choo for a rather convoluted reason. Any guesses? :P**


	39. Death Feels More Like a Memory

**Well, it's not really a meme, but it's at least a pretty big pop culture phenomenon. :P**

 **Thinking about it, Jay would make a pretty good Hamilton in some ways.**

 **And to anyone who didn't review but wants to know the naming heritage of Jay's rat: Pikachu. :)**

 **Angel Star Ninja: He's like a terrier, you know? They bred 'em to hunt rats, and in the process they created an adorable tiny-winy doggy-woggy. X3**

 **Ninja Pony: Heh, sorry, nope. The aforementioned Pikachu. ^_^'' That might be a good meme for the list of potential chapter titles, though! I'll keep it in mind.**

 **Guest: Oh gracious, no, it was written _long_ before the incident in France. I would never use events like that for fanfiction fodder; those are real lives and real tragedies, not something you trivialize by mixing it with goofy LEGO stories. But anyways. Thanks for the other comments, that's very sweet of you to say! Haha, I dunno about a thousand. I don't think anyone could get that many reviews without posting at least eighty chapters or so. Or writing for Twilight. XD**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth, various minor injuries, lost in abandoned mine**

* * *

Jay had no idea what time it was when he awoke, gasping, from some nightmare about giant boulders slowly crushing him again and again. He had felt every one of his bones being ground to dust, his innards squishing, and then suddenly a sea of blood had rushed in to drown him—

Groaning, Jay pushed himself from the floor. These nightmares were really getting intense lately.

He lit a fistful of electricity and looked around. Everyone else was still asleep. He probably hadn't been out for very long, he shouldn't wake them. For good measure Meep and Mopp had left him at some point.

Groaning again, Jay killed the light and rolled onto his stomach, hoping to fall back asleep. The others could say what they wanted about carbon dioxide and groundwater and whatever else. Jay was relatively sure that the first thing to collect at the bottom of a mine was misery. There were just great filthy pools of misery lying around down here, and he was definitely at the very bottom of one. He lay there and nursed that thought for a while.

He rolled onto his back again. His thoughts were frolicking into more morbid corners, and he knew there was probably some rough climbing ahead tomorrow if . . . _if_ they found a way out. He had to be alert. He had to sleep.

Over onto his stomach again. Over onto his side. The floor was cold any which way. He pressed his fists to his eyes. _Sleep-sleep-sleep-sleep-SLEEP_ —

With a defeated growl, he rolled over until he hit a wall. That just made him imagine what would have happened if he'd missed and gone rolling off down one of the tunnels. He squirmed, kicked his legs up the wall till he was nearly balanced on his shoulders, tried to stuff himself tightly between the wall and floor, hoping something would give him some sense of safety from the ceiling. This place was just slimy with misery.

A rock dug into his shoulderblades. Huffing, he sat up, chucked the rock angrily away into the darkness, and flopped back against the wall.

"Wrow!"

Apparently the rock had hit someone.

"Whass goin' on? We under attack?" It was Cole's voice, mildly panicked but hardly awake.

"Shut up and go back to sleep," said Jay grumpily.

"Whaaa? . . . " It was pitch dark, but he could hear Cole sitting up. "Is it morning already?"

"Who knows?" said Jay. "Go back to _sleep._ "

"Why are you up?"

"Just _sleep!_ "

Some shuffling around.

"What is _with_ you lately?" demanded Cole. He sounded fully awake now. "Ever since we got down here you've been acting totally wack."

Jay muffled a frustrated noise, folding his arms.

"Wh—whatever. I'm just tired, okay?"

"Don't give me that," said Cole. "You've been acting weird right from the start." He snapped his fingers suddenly. "You're scared of the Technicians, aren't you?"

"No!"

"Don't try to deny it. I get it now! You were freaking out about them ever since that thing with the truck, and then Kai was going on about how bloodthirsty they are and stuff—"

"I'm NOT scared!" barked Jay.

A bit of silence.

"I just—I'm not big on being underground, okay?" Jay sighed. "It's . . . getting on my nerves."

Yeah, that sounded convincing.

"You don't like it down here?"

"What, and you do?" he snorted.

"Well, yeah. It's pretty neat," said Cole. "I mean, I know I'm not the fairest judge, but these tunnels feel really cozy to me. I've never been in a place I feel so . . . connected to, before. I can feel all up and down the passages, I can feel the earth above and below us. I know you can't do that, but . . . well, what's not to like?"

Jay said nothing.

"I guess this just feels like a boring old tunnel to you, huh?" said Cole.

"Nope," said Jay bitterly. "Not at all."

"Then what does it feel like?"

"Like a _grave_ ," said Jay. "Like I'm trapped. Like I could lose it and hit all the walls and it wouldn't make any difference, I'd still be stuck down here, and I'll die in the dark and—" His voice cracked, and he hastily closed his eyes. Crud. Why had he said all that? He looked like such a wuss now.

"Well, there you go," he said defiantly, his voice shaking. "The wimp can't even handle being underground for a day or two. Hilarious."

"That bad?" said Cole softly.

"I'm losing my mind down here." Jay let his forehead drop to his knees. "I'm pathetic."

"Woah, woah, hey. Wait a minute." There was some more shuffling around. "Man, turn on the light for a sec, would you?"

"No." Jay had started feeling rather grateful for the darkness, actually.

Cole gave a huff, but eventually fumbled his way over to Jay anyway. The blue ninja felt him settle down next to him.

"Dude. I had no idea you hated it that much down here. You should've said something."

"To _you?_ " groaned Jay, his head still resting on his knees.

"Get out of here. You know I wouldn't make fun of you for _that_."

"Well, everyone else seems to be doing just fine," muttered Jay. "I just . . . I should be able to handle this."

"Hey, it's different for everyone, you know? I guess I should have seen this coming . . . I mean, you're lightning; you're happier in the sky, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I guess." Jay swallowed. "I-I shouldn't have come . . . "

"Naww, you're fine. Your aliens let us check down the shaft before jumping down ourselves, remember? And you did a great job snapping Kai out of it earlier so he didn't keep grouching all day." Cole fidgeted. "Look, I-I'm not good at this kind of thing, but, just . . . don't go insane on us, okay buddy? It'll be okay. Hang in there just a little longer."

Jay mumbled abstractly. He sat in silence for a while, grateful for a little company at least.

"How likely is it that the ceiling would fall in? . . . " he finally said.

"What, this one?" Cole laughed slightly. "Not in a million years."

"Mines cave in all the time," said Jay, unconvinced.

"Yeah, where they're unstable. But the rock here is _super_ stable. I can feel it."

"Seriously? You can feel that kind of stuff?"

"Sure. I felt the explosion in the Tech tunnel before it even happened, didn't I? If there's any shaky tunnels around here, I'll tell you guys right away. And if it's really dangerous, we won't go through. But here? Totally safe. I promise."

Jay sat back, letting out a long breath. That did a little bit for the crushing feeling, at least. A little.

"You sure?" he said at last.

"Man." Cole yawned. "It bugs you that much?"

Jay shrugged, then realized it was pitch-dark and made a noncommittal sound. He still wasn't too keen on making his paranoias public.

"Welp, fine then," said Cole. Abruptly he slung an arm around Jay's shoulders. "You're stayin' with me."

"What? Uh, no. Gerroff."

"If it's the ceiling you're worried about, next to me is the safest place you're gonna find. No mine is gonna dare fall in on _my_ head."

"But . . . " Jay clamped his mouth shut on any further protests. Cole was warm and sturdy, and—not that anyone on the team _ever_ said anything, of course, but—he always gave the best hugs. You'd think he'd be the kind to crush ribs, but he knew his own strength; he could hug you right down to your soul. The veritable warm chocolate-chip cookie of hugging.

"That gonna help?" said Cole drowsily.

"Y—yeah," mumbled Jay, feeling a grateful smile fighting its way across his face. " . . . Thanks."

"Eh. 's what I'm here for," said Cole. "Keeping you lunatics sane."

"Uhh—"

"Yes, I do realize what I just said. Now hush up and sleep."

Jay settled in, closing his eyes. He hated to admit it, but he did feel a lot safer sitting next to an earth master. Back when he was little, he'd known that there weren't really ghosts or monsters hiding in the dark, but he'd still never felt _quite_ entirely safe unless he was sequestered under his blanket. Same thing now. He _knew_ the walls couldn't really close in and crush him, but . . .

He decided to focus on nice things instead of the rock overhead. Things like flying his dragon, and snowball fights, and summer thunderstorms, and Nya . . . Yeah, there was his reason to hang on. He'd promised Nya he'd come home safe. And they'd just decided to make another try at being a couple, too, and he wasn't about to let a little insanity get in the way of that. No way.

He wondered how Nya would like it down here, if she had come along. Would she have been angry about the aliens, or would she have stuck up for him? How would she have handled the cave-in? Would she have nailed the landing after the shaft slide? He was willing to bet she'd have stuck it perfectly.

Suddenly Cole started beside him, and his hand closed down on Jay's arm.

"Shhhhh," he whispered vehemently.

"Wh—what?" Jay reflexively lowered his voice to a whisper too. Then he heard it: a distant scuffling, pattering sound coming from one of the tunnels they were sitting right next to. He felt like he'd just been dunked in ice water.

"Someone out there?" he breathed, trying to keep his use of S's to a minimum. Those were the easiest to hear.

"It couldn't be a Tech," Cole murmured back. "They couldn't be down here . . . I think . . . "

The scuffle came again.

"Too big to be a rat," Jay whispered. Even though it was too dark to see, he glanced questioningly in Cole's general direction, wondering if he should turn on his electricity.

"No light," Cole whispered, as if reading his mind. "Let me try to feel the ground."

Scrunching his brow, Jay waited. He could hear Cole's breath even out, as if in concentration.

"Only one," whispered the master of earth at length. "Walks on two feet. Short steps, light body. It's really small."

Jay's skin crawled. He'd suddenly conjured up some gruesome mental images of horrific little wizened mine goblins, with snaggly teeth and sightless eyes and evil dark magic they used on intruders. All they needed now was a glowing lure on their foreheads.

"It's around the bend from us," Cole continued. "You can turn on a _little_ light. _Quietly_."

Licking his lips, Jay carefully pulled a small blue strand of electricity between his finger and thumb, struggling to keep it from fizzing or popping. Even the tiny thread of light seemed to illuminate the entire chamber in a hearty glow. Nodding his thanks, Cole scooted over to Kai and began to shake him lightly, one hand ready to clamp over his mouth in case he woke noisily. Jay waited, his heart thumping. He would have tried to wake the others meanwhile, but he assumed Cole only wanted Kai awake, so that he could tell the others in case Cole and Jay went looking for the mine-goblin and . . . eh . . . best not to think about that.

Cole, apparently wanting to take no chances, woke everyone except the aliens. They all grew alert and silent at once as they heard the shuffling sounds continuing. Once a peculiar garbled squeak accompanied them.

"Wanna go get it?" murmured Cole. Some quiet nods. Jay felt for his nunchucks and shurikens. He was scared spitless, but it's not like that had ever stopped him before.

They switched to Kai's fire, which was silent and easily adjustable, and crept quietly down the proper tunnel. The floor slanted upwards instead of down, so there was no water collecting here. Around the bend they could still hear the shuffling sounds.

As they rounded the corner, the shuffling abruptly stopped. Whatever-it-was had apparently caught sight of the light. Then there was a rapid pattering of feet, as if their quarry was running away.

"Hey, wait up!" Cole shouted. "Show yourself!"

Some scrabbling and a thud. Another garbled squeal.

"I think he's fallen," said Cole over his shoulder. "Come on!"

They made a quick break down the tunnel. Kai's light flickered erratically over the gray stone floor—and then suddenly fell upon a small pale figure. At this exact moment the creature gave an unearthly screech and hurled itself at them.

"Holy frick!" Kai tumbled backwards. His katana flashed out of its sheath, ready to defend him, but Zane lunged forward at the last second and grabbed the blade before it finished its swing. Luckily it didn't do any damage to his titanium hands.

"Kai, stop!" he protested. "That is Skales Junior!"

"Wh . . . _what?_ " Kai stared after the small form, which had leaped off him as fast as it had leaped on and whisked off down a tunnel. "It couldn't be!"

"I think it was!" Cole was already following the snakelet. "C'mon, we can't let him get lost down here!"

Lloyd followed on his heels. Now that they knew what they were after, he didn't worry about the sharp jet-engine whine as he summoned twin globes of green energy. The entire tunnel system blazed into sharp white light.

"Ow, Lloyd," protested Jay, shielding his eyes.

"Sorry." With a sheepish grin, Lloyd dimmed the lights a bit.

Skales Junior had landed himself in a dead-end tunnel. As Cole and Lloyd approached, they were greeted by a bristling snakelet, backed up against the wall and crouching in a defensive posture very much like that of a cat. He was hissing like a pressure washer, his tiny fangs bared and his hood flared out as far as it would go (which was not very far).

"You gerraway from me!" he snarled, making a threatening swipe with one small clawed hand. His head weaved from side to side like a hunting cobra's.

"Woah, woah, Junior, it's us," began Cole, holding up his hands soothingly. Skales Junior evidently interpreted this as a gesture of war, because he made a small lunge at the earth ninja. He lost his nerve halfway through and scrabbled back to his place against the wall, hissing furiously.

"Y-you'll never take me 'live!" he declared, and crossed his eyes.

"Uhhh . . . " Cole stopped, bewildered and a little unnerved, as the tiny snake clenched his fists and bunched up his shoulders, crossing his eyes so vehemently that his whole head shook from the effort. "Are . . . are you okay, little guy?"

"I believe he is trying to hypnotize you," said Zane.

"Oh." Cole had to smile. "Woah there, tiger. You don't have to hypnotize us. We're friends! Remember?"

He reached out a placating hand, which Junior promptly bit.

"Yow!" Cole yanked his hand back. Junior made a dash for it, whisking past the earth ninja with a surprising level of agility. Lloyd, lost in the general mayhem, simply dove to sweep the snakelet up off the floor.

"ARRRRRGH! You lemme GO! I'll chew off yer toes, ya big—" The little snake descended into a stream of what were apparently Serpentine invectives, flailing all four limbs in the full range of sixty-four planes of motion. By chance he happened to strike Lloyd in the head.

Within seconds his thrashing slowed. Then he fell still. Still panting, he squinted his red eyes at Lloyd, seemingly looking straight through him. Slowly he reached up to pat at his head.

"You're . . . you're the furry one," he said slowly. "You're wunna the ninja!"

With a squeal, he attempted to throw his arms around Lloyd.

"C . . . can't you see?" Lloyd stared down at him, horrified.

"Nuh-uh. S'too bright!" Junior was still pawing futilely towards the green ninja, his arms too short to bridge the distance.

"Oh!" Everyone shut off their various light-producing powers at once, except for a soft glow from Zane's eyes. Lloyd set Junior down, and the little snake looked around.

"It is you!" he whooped, and threw himself at Lloyd, this time successfully. "Hai, ninja! I thoughtcha were the bad guys!"

"What in the world is he doing down here?" demanded Kai.

"And how did he get down so far?" agreed Zane. "His parents must be worried sick."

"He's the son of King Skales, the entire snake kingdom must be worried sick!"

Kai registered a double-take.

"Ohhh, fantastic. I just nearly ran a sword through the heir to the snake throne!"

"Just out of curiosity." Cole interrupted the commotion wryly. "Are Hypnobrai bites poisonous?"

* * *

Soon enough they were back in the junction chamber. Junior was prowling curiously around a drowsy Meep and Mopp—unfortunately, it was inevitable that he would have to see the aliens—while the others tried to do something about Cole's hand. It wasn't that badly damaged, and as far as they could figure Hypnobrai bites weren't poison—but Kai said they were probably pretty germy. All their disinfectant and first-aid supplies had been left behind in their backpacks.

"Are you sure about this?" Kai tilted his katana, running a flame up and down the flat of the blade. "It doesn't look that bad. Maybe it would be fine."

"But maybe it wouldn't," said Cole. "And once it starts getting infected, it'll be too late."

"I can't even promise this won't just make it worse," said Kai unhappily. The blade of his katana was glowing a dull orange at the edges now, sending up wisps of steam. Cole set his jaw and held out his palm, the glove spotted with small beads of blood.

"Just do it, okay?"

Kai sighed. Then he drew in his breath, took Cole's hand, and pressed the flat of the hot blade to his palm. There was a nasty sizzling sound, and Cole twitched, gritting his teeth. Kai yanked the blade away hastily.

"That—that should do it," he said, subdued.

Cole grunted and gingerly peeled off his glove, flexing his fingers.

"Heh. Had to be my weapon hand, too."

Junior was watching from nearby, Mopp already fastened atop his head. The snakelet looked awestruck.

"Whyja do that?" he demanded, pointing.

"To kill germs," said Cole tersely. He was (excusably) a bit miffed with the kid.

"Germs? . . . "

"Let's just say, there are tiny critters living in your spit."

"Critters?" Junior clamped his hands over his mouth.

"They're fine in your spit," said Cole wearily. "They're not fine in my hand. We had to kill them, or they'd probably make me sick."

Junior edged closer, eyeing Cole's hand as if he suspected this was some kind of black magic.

"Did that hurt?" he said.

"Actually, yes."

Junior's eyes widened. Then he abruptly plastered himself onto Cole's side.

"Wh-what the—"

"I'm sorry I bit youuuuuu . . . " Junior nuzzled the side of his head into Cole's ribs contritely. "I didn't know."

"Oh. W-well." Cole looked away awkwardly, trying not to smile. "Eh, I guess you were just defending yourself. It's fine." He gently disentangled himself from the little snake. "So, uh, how did you get down here again?"

"I was trying to follow you guys!" said Junior. "Grown-ups _always_ say stuff is borin' when they don't want me comin' along!"

"This is why I will never have children . . . " said Kai under his breath.

"But there were all these miners up there!" continued Junior. "I had to keep hidin'. And then I lost you, and while I was tryin' to find you, I saw a rat! So I tried to hypnotize it, but it ran away. So I tried to chase it, and then I chased some more rats, and then I fell down this big hole and got down here!"

"And you've been wandering around lost ever since?" blurted Jay. He could barely handle these tunnels with his teammates beside him, he couldn't _imagine_ staying sane down here all alone.

"Lost?" Junior tilted his head. "A'm not lost. The hole's back that way." He pointed.

"No kidding?!" said Cole eagerly. "You could find it again?"

"Sure."

A stifled whoop from several of the others.

"Can you take us to it?" said Cole. "We could realllllly use the shortcut out of here!"

"Okay. Follow me!" Without further ado, Junior scampered off down one of the tunnels.

"Woah, wait up!" called Lloyd. "We have to get our stuff!"

"Oh," echoed Junior's small voice from the distance. The patter of his footsteps drew closer, and a pair of red eyes glinted from the dark maw of the tunnel. He lurked there, watching as the ninja hastily gathered up their canteens, weapons, and aliens. In the midst of the ecstatic scramble Cole glanced back to Jay.

"You gonna be okay?" he murmured.

"Huh? Oh." Jay reddened. "S-sure, I'm fine. Uh . . . sorry about wussing out on you back there, I—"

"Ah, don't worry about it." Cole gave a dry chuckle. "Heck, you freak out about stuff all the time."

"Freaking out is different," mumbled Jay, embarrassed. "That's a logical reaction."

"You think panicking is logical?" Cole snorted.

"When there's danger, yeah! _You're_ the illogical ones if you can't figure out when you should be panicking."

"Your mind is a strange and wonderful place, Jay," said Cole fondly, pulling his glove back on. "But seriously. Tell me if you start spazzing out again, okay? Don't feel like you have to—y'know, play tough or anything."

"I'm fine," said Jay doggedly. He really wasn't, not entirely, but he'd rather not make that known. Right now the creepy crushing feeling was at a tolerable low, ignorable if he focused on nice things. He'd manage.

Kai lit a flare in his hand, and they began to follow Junior down the tunnel. Jay paused for just a moment at the mouth, steeling himself. The junction chamber suddenly seemed a lot more inviting than the smaller confines of the passageway. Come on, he told himself, juuuuust a little longer . . . They'd get out. They would. He'd see Nya again, and fly his dragon, and feel the rain . . . but not if he didn't go through just a few more tunnels.

Then Kai's light began to vanish around a bend, and Jay suddenly found bolting after the others a whole lot easier.

* * *

 **A/N: "Finger and thumb" are really just the opposite prongs of the clamp hand, of course. Really!** **I think I can sustain my blissful delusions a** **s long as I don't need anyone to give a thumbs-up. XD**


	40. Name the Fallen Child

**Woot! It's the big four-oh! Forty and sporty, eh?**

 **Man, the way things are going, I'm starting to think I won't be able to wrap this up in less than 100 chapters . . . I blame Jay for this. His rambling ways have rubbed off on me. XD**

 **In other news!**

 **You guyyyyys, there's this YouTube channel called Kitten Academy, and it's awesome. They have a 24/7 livestream of foster kittens they're raising for adoption. NON-STOP KITTENS. Need I say more?**

 **And if you're in the Illinois area, you can adopt their kittens too!**

 **Beware the kitten addiction, though. I think I've already lost hours of** **my life watching those little darlings tearing around pouncing and wrestling each other. I can never shake the feeling that this is totally how the ninja roughhouse when Sensei's not supervising.**

 **. . . Boy, they'd kill me if they knew I said they fight like kittens. XD**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Heh; one of my favorites. ^_^'' And I'm sure Junior appreciates the hugs! Smol snakelets such as him take every hug they can get.**

 **Elveron294: Awww, shucks. Thank you! :3 I did have a lot of fun writing that last chapter.**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth, Cole lightly wounded, various minor injuries, lost in abandoned mine, in custody of lost snakelet (Hoo doggy! The status list is gonna be as long as the chapter at this rate.)**

* * *

"Junior, wait up!" called Kai for the fifth time. "You're going to get separated from us!"

"Sorry!" called Junior, also for the fifth time, and came pattering back into the glow of Kai's flare. "You guys are slowwwwww."

Kai snorted, but said nothing. The others said the same thing. Nobody wanted to mention that Kai, who was currently leading the group, really _was_ going pretty slowly—and limping noticeably. Apparently his leg had gotten worse with rest instead of better. That didn't look promising, but hopefully they would be out of here before it became an issue.

"How do you find your way in the dark like that?" Lloyd asked Junior curiously.

"Hm?" Junior looked around. "Oh. I guess it is kinda dark."

"I think snakes don't need light as much," said Kai. "I've seen slobber thugs walk through a pitch-black room full of furniture without even grazing their shins. They use touch and scent a lot more than we do. And you know how some of the non-sentient snakes can hunt by sensing heat? A little of that carries into Serpentine too."

"You can see our heat?" Cole raised an eyebrow at the little snake.

"Yup!" said Junior proudly. "You guys are all really warm! 'xcept for him." He pointed at Zane. "He's a'most as cold as the rock."

"Really?" Jay felt at the Nindroid's wrist. "Woah. You're a lot colder than usual!"

"I am conserving energy," said Zane. "Normally I produce a little extra heat to match human body temperature, but it isn't necessary for my survival. I get the heat from burning food, just as humans do, so becoming colder reduces my need to eat."

"Ohhhhh." Jay sighed. "I bet you're not even hungry, huh?"

"Only slightly."

"Lucky dog." Cole sighed as well. "Man, not to make things worse, but I could really go for some bacon and eggs right now."

"Or a bowl of oatmeal, and a nice mug of coffee," agreed Jay woefully.

"Or a kitten with disabilities," said Kai, smirking. Jay gave a muffled huff in the back of his throat, but decided he wouldn't allow himself to be baited again.

"So Lloyd, what would you want?" he said instead.

"Probably a dentist."

"You want to _eat_ a—"

"No, wise guy. I want this tooth out." Lloyd ran his tongue along his cheek gingerly.

"It still hurts?"

"Eh, kinda. It's getting worse, I think. Starting to get pretty annoying."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "Annoying" might not be quite the word; now that he paid attention, he noticed Lloyd wincing periodically, his breath catching. That tooth must be getting borderline agonizing.

"Hang in there, buddy." Cole tousled his hair wearily. "We'll be out of here soon."

"M'okay." Lloyd glanced ahead. "Junior!"

"Whoops!" Junior came bounding back to join the group once again. Meep had been attempting to herd him back to the others all this time, squealing reproachfully. Clearly he made an excellent chaperone.

Watching the snakelet wrestling playfully with Meep, Jay bit back a sigh. He wished they could have kept the aliens hidden somehow. It's not like they could expect a six-year-old to be good at keeping a secret—and even if they asked him to, that would just make him curious and more likely to blab. As it was, he seemed to accept the aliens' presence with complete equanimity, as if they weren't even worth a mention. Maybe that was just how six-year-olds looked at the world; Jay couldn't quite remember, himself.

"So where's this hole you fell down through?" asked Kai, squinting around dubiously.

"It's, uh . . . it's here . . . " Junior turned around in a circle and scratched his nose, his small face scrunched in thought. "Mmh. This way?"

"I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this," mumbled Kai. Meanwhile Junior bounced out of sight again, followed by a frustrated Meep.

"Founnnnnnnnnnnnd it!" sang the snakelet's voice. The ninja all jumped.

"Yes!" whooped Jay before he could stop himself. Everyone gathered around Junior, who was standing proudly by a crevice in the wall.

"This is it?" said Cole, tilting his head. "It's really . . . small."

"It was a small hole," said Junior. " . . . I think."

"You _think_ ," said Kai. The mood dampened a little as the ninja considered this new puzzle. The hole certainly looked like it would fit a tiny snake, but it didn't look suitable for a ninja.

"I could fit," said Jay at last. "I'll go up and get help! This connects to the Constrictai mine, right? I bet a couple of Constrictai miners could tunnel down here in no time."

"Are you sure you'd fit?" Cole squinted at the tiny space. "Maybe we should send Junior. He made it down, he'd make it back up."

"And what, get distracted by a rat again?" Jay glanced back to where the snakelet was tumbling around on the floor with the aliens and lowered his voice. "I mean, his attention span's not the greatest, you know. Maybe he'd forget we were down here. Or maybe he couldn't get the miners to understand what he meant. Any number of things could go wrong!"

The others exchanged hesitant looks. Cole stepped over and tapped at the mouth of the crevice, then shouted "Hello!" up the shaft.

"I think it gets bigger higher up," he said. "I guess it would be safe . . . Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Okay with it? I'm great with it! I'll be fine! Lemme at it!" blurted Jay. He sucked in his lower lip, hoping he hadn't sounded too desperate. He was going wild here. This shaft was the way _out_. Right here in front of him, right in reach, almost dripping with the scent of freedom. If the others didn't let him climb up, so help him, he was pretty sure he'd fight them for it.

Cole gave him a thoughtful look. Maybe he picked up on the tightly coiled ball of anxiety quivering inside Jay's stomach, maybe he didn't; one way or another, he finally nodded and stepped away from the opening of the shaft.

"Okay, Sparky. Be careful, okay? Don't get stuck."

"And don't _you_ get distracted by a rat," joked Kai. Jay only gave him an enormous grin, overcome with elation. Almost free. Almost out. All he had to do was scrabble up this shaft, get help for the others, then he could bolt out of that Constrictai mine like a rabbit with its tail on fire. Sunshine . . .

He slithered eagerly through the shaft opening, scraping against a bend in his haste. He was a good deal more wiry than the other ninja, which worked to his advantage in this tight environment.

The shaft angled upwards sharply, then leveled out, then upward again . . . Jay wriggled furiously higher, bracing his limbs against the walls, hooking his elbows over ledges, probing ahead of him with one hand. It was slow progress, and he realized he was going to wear himself out if he kept going at it this vigorously, but he couldn't bring himself to calm down.

"You doing okay?" he heard Kai's voice echo behind him.

"I'm great!" he hollered back. Then he laughed at how strange his voice sounded in this long, narrow space.

The others were sitting around the opening of the shaft, keeping one eye on Junior and one ear on the shuffling overhead, accompanied by cheerful and pointless commentary.

"It does get wider up here, ya know?" Jay called. "Pretty comfy, actually. Smells like sand, though. The rocks are a different color . . . Ooh! This one sparkles!"

"He's in a good mood," remarked Kai, half-smiling.

"And the acoustics up here are incredible!" Jay's voice echoed back. "This could be the world's best concert hall if it were a little roomier."

"Just focus, Jay," Cole called up, sighing. "You're gonna wear yourself out."

"Oh yeah? Well then. Nothin' like a song to keep you going!"

"Please no."

" _You were the spark, the spark in my hearrrrrrrt . . . My darling Meliiiiiiiiine . . ._ "

"Stop that."

" _Your name was a THOUsand caroling bells!_ "

The strains continued, exclusively in the key of J. Cole stood it for as long as he could. Eventually he poked his head into the shaft and hollered, "Jay, if you don't cut that out, so help me, I'll tell Mindy you're wandering around singing love songs to some girl called Meline!"

A beat.

"You do that," Jay's voice bounced down. The singing resumed. Kai shook his head at Cole glumly.

"Nya's middle name is Meline."

"Ohhhh." Cole sat back, pulling at his hair. Then he blinked. "Wait, Nya?"

Meanwhile, Jay was still clambering higher, humming amiably to himself. The shaft was full of kinks, but he was pretty sure it was on average upwards. The bends just kept him from falling a long way if he slipped. Man, as soon as he got out of here, he'd fly his dragon straight up to the ionosphere and—

His hand struck rock. He thought it must be a sharp bend, and felt in every direction to find which way the tunnel continued. Then he lit a handful of lightning to check.

It was a dead-end.

He felt like one of those cartoons where a terrible thing happens and the screen shatters like glass and the fragments fall away, leaving only blackness. For a moment he stayed frozen, staring up at the cold light of his electricity dancing against the rock. Then he snapped off the lightning, shut his eyes, and drew in a shuddering gasp. He was going to throw up. Or cry. Or some highly unpleasant combination of the two.

Shaking slightly, he curled back against the rock behind him, clenching his fists against the opposite wall. So close. He had felt _so close_ to freedom. Plunging back into the cold, terrifying reality of being trapped under miles of crushing stone . . . he couldn't take it anymore.

There was a shuffling, then a curious chirp by his ankle. Meep must have followed him up the shaft, thinking it must be very fun if it made Jay so happy.

" _Eeeeee?_ " inquired the alien, poking his foot. Jay was too numb to acknowledge him.

" _Eeee? Wurr-woo._ " Sounding puzzled, Meep squeezed himself in between Jay and the wall and squirmed effortfully up to his chest. " _Eee-eee._ "

He patted uneasily by the unresponsive ninja's ear, trying to make eye contact. He couldn't understand why the master of lightning wouldn't open his eyes.

"I can't do it," whispered Jay. "I can't go back down there. Not again."

Meep cooed soothingly, stroking his cheek. Jay choked.

"I can't do this. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't . . . "

He pulled his fists from the wall, grabbed Meep, and let his forehead sink to the top of the alien's head, just behind the eyes.

"I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can'tdothisIcan't—"

Some tiny part of his brain wondered distantly if he might just be a character in someone's slobber trip. Suspended in a little cocoon of stone, in the dark, clutching a gelatinous extraterrestrial, slowly losing his mind . . . This couldn't be reality.

" _EeeeeeeEEEE_." Meep sounded firm now. " _Oo-ayyy. O'wayyy._ "

"It's not okay," mumbled Jay unhingedly. Meep chirped and plastered all six of his tentacles around the human's neck, nestling himself tightly under his chin. Closing his eyes, the alien began to give a soft, steady electronic whir, like the hum of an aquarium filter.

"It's not okay," mumbled Jay again, but almost subconsciously his arms shifted to hug back. He could feel Meep's warm, watery form quivering slightly, making the throaty _wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_ travel up his jaw.

He took a long, shuddering breath, hugging a little tighter. Gradually, unexpectedly, a deep sense of peace washed over him. Maybe it was just the final screws in his head popping loose, spilling a pleasant insanity all over his brain . . . but insanity or not, it felt good.

"H-hey." Sighing shakily, he finally opened his eyes. "It's . . . it's just a bunch of tunnels, right?"

Meep purred harder in agreement.

"A-and they won't fall in. It's safe. There's . . . there's still a way out. It'll just take longer to get to it. A little longer. We can make it. _I_ can make it."

" _Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . ._ "

Jay swallowed and forced himself to say it.

"It's . . . gonna be okay."

It actually wasn't all that hard to say. Meep finally stopped purring and instead bobbed in the alien equivalent of a nod.

" _Oo-ayyy_ ," he insisted solemnly. Jay chuckled weakly and stroked his back.

"You're a lifesaver, little guy."

Gradually he became aware of the others' voices echoing distantly up the shaft. They sounded worried. Jay twisted as far around as he could in the narrow space.

"I'm fine!" he shouted down. Then he began the laborious descent. On the last few feet he accidently kicked something soft—apparently Lloyd had attempted to follow him up.

"Sorry, did I kick you in the head?" Jay asked, trying to see below him.

"Eh, it's fine, I barely felt it. Plenty of padding," chuckled Lloyd.

Unable to turn around, they both wriggled out of the shaft feet-first.

"What happened? We were starting to worry," said Kai.

"Yeah, well." Jay shook sand from his hair wearily. "It's a dead-end."

"What?!"

"Yeah. There's no way up." Jay was amazed how calmly he could say it. Everything just felt . . . really normal. Like he was reporting that they'd run out of peanut butter.

"You've got to be kidding!" groaned Kai.

"Juniorrrrrrrrr," said Cole, eyeing the little snake suspiciously. "Is this not the right hole?"

"I don't know," said Junior. He looked around, scratching his head. "Maybe I _didn't_ fall down this one?"

"Then which one _did_ you fall down through?"

"I . . . don't know," said Junior again. "I dunno . . . where . . . it is . . . " His red eyes suddenly snapped wide open in horror. "I'M LOST!"

"Wowwwwww. Reality finally strikes," said Kai bitterly.

Meanwhile Junior seemed to be descending into panic.

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no . . . How am I gonna get home? How are Mama and Daddy gonna find me? What am I gonna do? AGHHHH! I'm stuck down here forever!"

"Woah, easy, easy," said Cole soothingly. Junior looked to be on the verge of legitimate hysterics. "It's fine, Junior. We can find another way out, and then we'll get you right back to your parents, okay?"

"A-are you sure?" gulped Junior, his breath still shallow.

"Sure. You just have to be good and stick close to us for a while."

Junior immediately glommed himself to Cole's side again.

"Uhh—doesn't have to be _that_ close," said Cole awkwardly.

"So, back to the original plan," said Kai as they set out.

"Are you gonna manage?" asked Cole quietly, tilting his head towards Kai's bad ankle.

"I'm fiiiiiine, I'm fine." Kai waved, clearly miffed that someone had brought the topic up. "Ugh. Great detour. Really productive. I knew we shouldn't have followed the kid!"

"Kai," said Lloyd sharply. "He's _six years old_."

"My point exactly!" Kai looked around. "Annnnnnd he's gone again."

"Ju-nior!" Cole shouted into their general surroundings. "What did we say about sticking close?"

"Sorry!" There was some shuffling in the middle distance. "AHA!"

Everyone jumped as a sleek gray rat came streaking by, screeching. Junior was close behind it, bounding on all fours; it seemed like an entirely normal method of motion for him. He skidded wildly, following the rat's every zigzag, then suddenly threw himself headlong into a pounce. His jaws snapped closed over the nape of the rat's neck, and he lurched back onto his haunches and violently shook the unfortunate creature, as a dog shakes its prey. Then he tossed back his head and gulped his catch down whole.

The ninja said nothing for a minute.

"Holy . . . fizzims," said Jay faintly at last.

"Serpentine _are_ entirely carnivorous," said Zane, although he also sounded a little unnerved. "I guess they still have the hunting instinct."

"Are you sure you should be just swallowing rats like that?" said Jay, caught between despair and fascination. "You don't know where it's been!"

"So?" Junior popped upright and trotted to join the ninja as if nothing unusual had happened.

" _So,_ it could be dirty or something. What if it makes you sick?"

"Nah, it won't," said Junior. "It was kicking."

"Uh . . . kicking?"

"Yeah." Junior looked up at the blue ninja as if he were being rather dense. "Like my mama says. _If it can kick, won't make you sick. If it lies still, it prob'ly will._ Everyone knows that one."

"Yeah, didn't your ma ever teach you these important things?" said Cole reproachfully.

"Uh, _no_." Jay huffed. "She taught me nothing of the kind."

"That's a good policy, though," said Lloyd reflectively. "The dead ones probably died of disease or poison or might be rotting already. If it's lively enough to kick, it's probably healthy."

" _Please_ tell me you don't approve of this policy!" groaned Jay.

"And Serpentine do have much stronger stomachs," said Zane. "After all, they can digest the bones. Germs are probably not a concern for them."

Jay raised his eyes heavenwards and said nothing.

"Wish I coulda 'ipnotized that one, though," said Junior ruefully, sinking his hands into the pockets of his little sailor shirt. "I was practicin' allllll this time, and I still can't do it!"

"You can't use hypnosis?" said Cole, remembering Junior's fruitless attempts when they first found him. "Why not?"

"Daddy says I'm still too little."

"Hypnobrai aren't born—uh, I mean, hatched, with hypnosis?"

"Nahhhh. We usually learn it when we're 'bout six," said Junior. "Mama and Daddy say it's okay, an' I'll learn when it's the right time, but I've _gotta_ learn it before my li'l brother hatches." He twisted one corner of his mouth aside. "He's gonna think I'm stupid or somethin'."

"I'm sure he'll understand," said Lloyd, straight-faced.

"But I wanna learn it!" insisted Junior. "Maybe there's more rats . . . "

As Junior prowled circles around the small group, his tongue flickering, Kai shook his head impatiently.

"As if looking after the aliens wasn't bad enough already," he muttered.

"Kai, be nice," said Cole. "Serpentine culture is just different from ours, okay? You can't just go telling the kid he's weird or something when that's how he's been raised his whole—"

"He's gone again."

"What?! Already?" Cole looked around. "Junior!"

"Argh!" Junior came skidding back. "Sorry!"

Without warning he scaled up Cole's back and attempted to perch like an ermine on his shoulders. He was unnervingly fast when he climbed, rather like a lizard: he might look like a chunky bundle of scales, but he still had all the quick, sinuous movements typical of reptiles.

"Is there really no middle ground for you?" sighed Cole, attempting to pry the snakelet off his head. "Just, you know. Walking next to us?"

Junior didn't seem to hear; he was squinting off into the darkness, still lapping keenly at the air.

"I smell crickets," he remarked.

"This is gonna be a lonnnnnnnnng trip," sighed Kai.

Jay couldn't really say he agreed. He was actually kind of grateful for the chaos Junior introduced—the constant action helped him adjust to feeling comfortable underground. He was pretty sure by now that he wasn't really insane, but part of him wondered if he wouldn't go right back to feeling paranoid the moment he ran out of distractions. At least nobody was making fun of him for freaking out about eating rats yesterday.

"Go easy on him, would you," Lloyd was saying meanwhile. "It's not his fault he's easily distracted. You guys just don't know how to keep him busy."

"Oh yeah?" Cole snorted, trying to redistribute Junior's arms so they weren't over his eyes. Losing patience, he plucked the squirming snake youngling off his shoulders and plopped him unceremoniously into Lloyd's arms. "Okay then. He's _your_ responsibility."

"Wait, me?" Lloyd blinked, startled.

"Yeah, Cole's got the right idea," said Kai, sneaking a knowing glance at the others. "You're, uh . . . "

"Closest to his age," supplied Zane. "So you'll know how to deal with him better."

"And you have experience catching rats, too," added Cole glibly.

Lloyd narrowed his eyes suspiciously. The others tried to look innocent; of course this had nothing to do with giving Lloyd a taste of his own medicine. Nothing whatsoever.

"Okay," said Lloyd at last. "Okay, I will!" He set Junior down and took his hand. "You're with me now, okay kiddo? That's actually pretty lucky. I can tell you from personal experience, these other guys are _terrible_ at supervising small children."

There was a chorus of disbelieving "ohhhhhhhh!"s, and Cole shoved Lloyd's shoulder gently.

"Listen to this ingrate, would you?"

"Unbelievable!"

Lloyd ducked his head, struggling to hide his grin. Junior cocked a puzzled eye at the others, but said nothing as the group continued to trek through the tunnels, squabbling good-naturedly. He kept a firm hold of Lloyd's hand all throughout.

* * *

 **A/N: By the bye, "fizzims" is a corruption of "FSM" (First Spinjitzu Master) used mainly by the young and irreverent. While we're at it, "son of a Skulkin" is actually pretty strong language in Ninjago, despite "Skulkin" itself being a perfectly acceptable word.**


	41. Ninjas are Mammals

**Hoop de do, the Ninjago world is cookin' again! There's gonna be a TV special . . . or a season . . . or a special and a season . . . I don't know anymore. But yeah! Ghostie-goos!**

 **. . . Whatever this thing turns out to be, is it sad that I'm way more excited about writing the "Everything Wrong With" for it than actually watching it? XD**

 **Speaking of watching, I've finally made brief forays into Miraculous Ladybug and Voltron, which seem to be the big deals these days. Between those, Steven Universe, Undertale, and Hamilton, I'm feeling very cultured now. Pop cultured. *sips tea out of Mickey Mouse mug***

 **Angel Star Ninja: Cute snakes are definitely a thing! Tumblr seems to abound with pictures of tiny baby snakes or pythons in flower crowns. And I'm sure Junior will make an extra effort to behave himself for Lloyd! Haha, funny you should call him Uncle Lloyd though . . . that may actually be a thing. ;)**

 **Elveron294: Thanks! And yeah, he reallllllly hates it. It's like . . . hmm, kind of like the worst exam you've ever taken in your entire life, going on ENDLESSLY for days and days, and meanwhile there's also a tiger in the room with you. That's about how much he likes it. :P**

 **mangamaker314: Oh, hi there! Haven't seen you in a while. :) Haha, mayyyybe! I dunno what that would be called either. Mind control, maybe? XD**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth, Cole lightly wounded, various minor injuries, lost in abandoned mine**

* * *

They proceeded through the tunnels for a while, sometimes on dry land, sometimes through knee-deep water. To the others' surprise, Skales Junior seemed to calm down entirely under Lloyd's supervision. He talked almost non-stop, but he didn't wander off once. On one hand they were all grateful that they didn't have to keep worrying about losing King Skales' son somewhere in the mines, but on the other hand there was a small measure of disappointment. They'd been hoping Lloyd would learn a thing or two about how hard it was to look after small hooligans.

Kai was still limping, though he refused to say anything about it. Lloyd was trying to ignore his toothache; occasionally Zane would produce a small ice cube for him to suck on to numb the pain. At least Jay's shoulder and Cole's hand both seemed to be healing up fairly well. They were all a bit whacked-out, though—they hadn't gotten much sleep last "night" before Junior had roused them. Even the aliens seemed tired, choosing to ride on a friendly shoulder or head instead of swimming for themselves.

Junior, the only one filled with energy, went scampering tight circles around the little group and singing in his high-pitched Serpentine lisp.

"Stamp on the ground! Jump-jump-jump-jump! Movin' all around! Tep-ta-da-dow! Stamp on the ground . . . "

Apparently his parents owned a CD player. They either had an extremely limited CD collection, or Junior only had one favorite song.

Cole stifled a groan, glancing over his shoulder to Zane.

"How many times has it been now?"

"Twenty-four renditions, most of them complete," said the Nindroid. Even Mopp gave a weary burr, draping himself limply on Jay's shoulder.

"Well hey," said Jay, petting the alien. "I could distract him with a catchier song if you want. Say, 99 Bottles of Tea on the Wall? Or that one about the gummy bear?"

" _Please no._ "

Jay chuckled.

"Well hey, look on the bright side. At least this one's helping him burn off all that extra energy."

Jay was right, but the song turned out to be a little too effective. About half an hour later, Junior abruptly plopped down on his stomach and declared that he could no longer walk.

"Hey, c'mon tiger," said Kai, looking back. "You can walk normally with us, instead of doing that . . . jumpy thing."

"Nuh-uh." Junior applied himself more thoroughly to the floor. "I'm tiiiiiiiirrrrrrred."

"But don't you wanna get home?" said Cole. "We have to keep walking if we want to find the way out."

Junior gave a melodramatic groan. The ninja exchanged resigned glances.

"Well, he's small. I guess we could carry him," sighed Cole.

"Ah, give me a sec," said Lloyd. He crouched down next to the snakelet and murmured something briefly. Junior lifted his head and tilted it, listening. He nodded to a few of Lloyd's questions, then abruptly clambered to his feet.

"Okay. I can keep goin' a _li'l_ while," he said, solemnly holding out one hand for Lloyd to take.

"That's the stuff," said Lloyd encouragingly, taking the proffered hand and leading Junior along to join the group.

"Okay, seriously," said Kai. "What are you bribing him with? It better not be something you can't deliver later."

"I'm not bribing him," said Lloyd sweetly. "I just explain things to him."

"Oh, come on. Reasoning with a six-year-old?"

"You guys just don't know how their brains work." Lloyd smiled down at the little snake, who beamed back, swinging his escort's hand trustingly. "You've just gotta get on the same wavelength."

When Lloyd wasn't looking, Jay raised a disbelieving eyebrow at Kai. The red ninja shook his head bemusedly and mouthed "beginner's luck."

In the end they wound up carrying Junior anyway. His short legs gave him a distinct disadvantage against five quick-striding ninja—or even four striding ninja and a limping one who refused to admit he was limping. The kid insisted that he wanted to ride with Lloyd; he started out piggybacking, but soon clambered up to the green ninja's shoulders and perched there, his small hands buried in Lloyd's hair.

"How come you're so furry?" he asked.

"It's hair, Junior. Human fur is called hair. And we just have it, you know? Like you have scales."

"Oh." Junior sounded disappointed. "So I can't have hair?"

"Not unless you wear a wig." Lloyd bit back a smile at the thought.

"What's a wig?"

"Fake hair."

"Can I have a wig?"

"I dunno, you'd have to ask your parents."

"Awwwh, I'll never get one." Junior leaned his elbows atop Lloyd's head grumpily. "All they ever talk about is my little brother."

"They're probably just excited." Lloyd glanced up to the snakelet. "Aren't you?"

"I dunno," grumbled Junior. "Mama says I'll have to be a good 'zample for him, so after he hatches I'm gonna hafta be good all the time."

"Aren't you _already_ good all the time?" asked Lloyd, stifling another smile.

"No," said Junior, unabashed. "I'm bad a lot."

Lloyd laughed, but in the middle of it his voice seemed to catch and his eyes twitched closed in pain. Jay shot Cole an anxious glance. The earth ninja shook his head unhappily, indicating that he was just as concerned. He was unpleasantly caught between taking it slow to go easy on Kai's leg, and pushing them faster to get Lloyd's tooth extracted sooner.

"C'mon guys, we can go a little faster than this," he said out loud, water sloshing around his ankles as he strode to the front. "There's got to be a vertical shaft around here _somewhere,_ it'd just make no sense to have tunnels this—"

He broke off. In front of them was a humorless blank wall. There was a moment of silence, followed by a chorus of groans.

"We have to go back _all that way?_ " protested Jay. "We've been walking for hours!"

"Oh my gosh, I hate these mines," sighed Cole, sloshing closer to inspect the wall. "Whoever planned them out was seriously—"

Abruptly he disappeared. Almost before the others could react, he resurfaced, spluttering.

"Woah!" he coughed. "Gets deep really fast here!"

Kai offered him a hand up, chuckling. Cole moved to grab it, but suddenly changed his mind.

"Hold on a sec," he said, and ducked back underwater. For a few seconds there was only foam from Cole's escaping breath and his efforts to hold himself under; then he popped back up.

"You guys, I think the tunnel goes on underwater!"

"Underwater?! What kind of crazy mine is this?"

"Well, there wasn't any water down here when they were using it, you know," said Cole, pulling himself back into the shallows. "You remember that vertical shaft that we had to send Meep down to explore? This must be another one like it, only this one got flooded."

"So then, it's still technically a dead-end," said Jay. "We can't just jump down into a bunch of flooded tunnels."

"Maybe they aren't all flooded," said Zane. "Let me check."

The Nindroid slipped underwater in turn. There was significantly less foam in his case, since he barely breathed and could slice smoothly downwards as deep as he pleased. The aliens circled the spot where he'd gone under, rolling periodically to watch him underwater.

"Can I go too?" asked Junior, squirming impatiently. "I like swimmin'!"

Zane reemerged, barely rippling the surface. Mopp whistled in alarm, unexpectedly stranded atop the Nindroid's head.

"You're right, Cole," Zane said. "The tunnel does continue. There is a short underwater section, but it soon rises again and enters another chamber. It seems wide and sturdy, so we should be able to swim through it to the other side."

Nobody felt like backtracking, so in the end they decided to continue through the flooded section. Junior swore he was a champion swimmerer and could hold his breath for decades if he wanted, but Lloyd still hung back to check his swimming skills in shallower water first. Meanwhile Zane offered to tow the others through the flooded tunnel, since he had better underwater vision. He said it was a pretty short dive, but Jay was still a little nervous going first. He took a few deep breaths just in case, then drew in a long gulp of air, closed his eyes, and ducked underwater.

He felt Zane's firm grip close down on his wrist—he reflexively grabbed the Nindroid's wrist as well to make a sturdy fireman's hold—then suddenly the water swooshed around him as he was dragged rapidly downwards. For a second he almost panicked. Then he reminded himself that this was supposed to be happening and started to kick his feet, helping.

It did go by quickly. The water pressure thundered in his ears for a few seconds—he bumped lightly against one of the tunnel walls—then the pressure lessened and he felt Zane push him up into the fresh air.

"Whoo!" He shook water from his ears and smiled. "Thanks Zane."

The Nindroid nodded and flipped back underwater to fetch the next passenger. Mopp bobbed up in his place, chirping lazily. This kind of passage was small potatoes to him.

Kai came next. He seemed to have taken the trip badly; he came up spluttering and snorting, looking half-drowned.

"Easy," said Zane, holding him up. "Relax and breathe."

Kai tried to say something, but made a poor job of it. Jay felt the urge to roll his eyes; even _he_ hadn't found that little dive difficult.

Then he realized that he really wasn't in any position to judge about what others found unpleasant. Feeling a bit guilty, he reached down to help Kai up onto dry land.

"C'mon, you're fine," he said. "Go ahead for the next trip, Zane, I've got him."

Kai plunked down in a waterlogged jumble, still trying to clear his sinuses.

"Stupid mines," he rasped.

"You can say that again." Jay winced as Kai started to cough again and thumped a fist between the fire ninja's shoulderblades, helping him clear his windpipe. "Geez, easy there. What did you do, breathe in?"

"Repeatedly," grumbled Kai. He looked thoroughly mortified—especially when all the others came through without a hitch, even Junior.

"Great, I rank below a six-year-old," he muttered to no one in particular.

"Ah come on, you know how it is." Jay shrugged, socking his arm. "It's different for everyone."

Kai said nothing, but he gave Jay a hint of an appreciative smile.

Zane towed Lloyd across last. The youngest ninja again resurfaced with his hair plastered down past his eyes, which Junior thought was hilarious.

"Behold," said Jay, with a solemn gesture. "Out from the depths and the wilding storm, a Lloydfish!"

"Hey-hey, watch your tone; this Lloydfish is the destroyer of rat worlds," retorted Lloyd. "Ow."

This last bit presumably because of his tooth. Zane dipped his hand into the water and brought it back up frosted with ice, which Lloyd took gratefully.

"So, back to the grind?" sighed Kai, trying and failing to light a flame in his hand. Seeing that the fire ninja was still too soggy to get a decent light going, Jay brightened the dim fistful of electricity he'd been holding. The bright blue glow flooded their surroundings for the first time.

" _Woah_ ," breathed Lloyd.

They had wound up in a gigantic white cavern. Stalactites and stalagmites bristled all through the space, sometimes giving way to eerie stone columns where the ceiling and floor had joined. A muffled _plip . . . plip . . . plip . . ._ echoed throughout the cave as new stalactites slowly formed. Glistening pools wove between the stony pillars, occasionally shimmering as droplets of water rippled the surface.

"What is this?" whispered Kai.

"I think it's still part of the mine." Cole's voice was hushed too. "They must have tunneled through here, and then water must have widened it and melted out a giant cave over the years."

"It's spiky," said Junior admiringly.

After a moment of silent appreciation, Cole glanced around at the others.

"How about we take a bit of a break here, huh?" he said.

The others willingly agreed. Zane immediately went to examine the nearest stalagmite, the soft whirring in his head indicating that he was conversing with PIXAL about it. Junior scampered off to dart amongst the stony spikes, splashing through the pools and playing hide-and-seek with the aliens. Lloyd kept a good-natured eye on him.

Meanwhile Kai simply flopped back against the nearest rock and shut his eyes, heaving a relieved sigh.

"Is your leg okay?" asked Jay.

"Ehhhhhhhh," said Kai. Clearly he didn't feel like talking about it. Accepting this, Jay leaned back on his hands, yawning. Then he looked at Kai and blinked.

"Dude," he said. "You might wanna move."

"Mm?" said Kai, his hands folded on his chest.

"You're right under one of the drips."

"Realllllllly." Kai opened one eye. "I hadn't noticed."

Jay laughed. It was utterly impossible for Kai not to have noticed; there was a steady train of droplets plinking from the ceiling onto his head.

"Move over, dummy," he chuckled. "Like, six inches."

"No no, I _meant_ to sit here," said Kai. "I'm taking a shower."

"A shower."

"Yes. Very slowly. With my clothes on."

"Surrrrrre you are. You just don't wanna admit you picked the wrong place to crash."

"Ah, shush," grumbled Kai, kicking at him playfully with his good leg.

Still chuckling, Jay left him. They were all still soaking wet from the swim here, it's not like lying under a stalactite made any difference.

Cole was admiring an array of small stony icicles bristling from part of the ceiling. Jay splashed up next to him and kicked a sheet of water in his general direction, for lack of better things to do.

"You're in a good mood," said Cole, barely glancing down.

"Kai's taking a shower," said Jay, as if that explained everything. For a while he stood next to the earth ninja, squinting up at the stalactites as well. Mopp swooshed by, circled his ankles swiftly, and shot off again.

"So," said Jay at last, looking around. "You say this whole place was melted out by water?"

"Yeah, probably," said Cole. "See, when water flows through limestone, it dissolves a tiny bit, and then it carries it—"

Jay had tuned out of the conversation the second he heard one particular word.

"Wait," he interrupted. "This cave is made of _limestone?_ "

"Well yeah. That's what I—"

"Holy cow!" whooped Jay.

"What?" Cole blinked at him oddly as Jay began to turn around in circles. Noticing a pile of broken stalagmites nearby, the lightning ninja dove for it and began rummaging eagerly through the chalky white rubble.

"This is great! I've gotta bring some of this home to Nya!"

Cole watched, eyebrows raised, as Jay continued to scrabble through the rock fragments, squinting judgmentally at each piece before tossing it aside.

"Bring it home for Nya? Does she have research or something?"

"No, it's a gift!" said Jay. "She'll love this!"

"Uh, I hate to burst your bubble, but . . . Limestone isn't a precious stone."

Jay stopped scrabbling and looked up at him in disbelief.

"Not even semi-precious. Heck, not even vaguely-fancy," said Cole. "They . . . well, they grind it up and build roads on top of it. It's not a gift kind of rock."

Jay stared at him for a moment longer.

"Hmph!" he said at last. "Shows how much _you_ know."

Then he went back to scrabbling.

In all seriousness, though, he really did want a piece of limestone to bring home to Nya. All this crawling around underground would almost be worth it if he could bring her a gift that just the two of them would understand. It would show her that he was thinking of her while he was away, and it would tell her how much he loved their new common bond, all their little secret in-jokes, the moments they spent together laughing over nothing . . . His heart fluttered at the mere memory of it.

"So," said Cole, watching as Jay continued to search through the rubble. "You and Nya, huh?"

"Eeeeyup." Jay tossed aside another inferior sample and gave Cole a smug glance. " _Not_ that it's any of your beeswax, but—we've decided to get back together."

He couldn't help feeling a little triumphant. _Finally_ , he would stop hearing about Mindy! Cole had nothing left to tease him for.

Cole apparently realized this, because he seemed a little disheartened. Suddenly, however, something seemed to crunch in his head.

" _Wait._ " He looked to Jay with wide eyes. "You're dating _two girls at once?_ "

There followed some amateurish but enthusiastic attempts at stabbing to death with a stalactite.

* * *

They hung around the cave for a good half-hour at least, reluctant to get moving again. They were all tired, and the unchanging miles of passageways were starting to wear even Cole down a little. The bright, clean space of the limestone cave was a pleasant change.

Kai was napping, the stalactite still dripping steadily on his head. Jay had found what he considered the most aesthetically pleasing piece of limestone available, but he kept changing his mind and going back to pick a new one. Somewhere deep down he realized that it wasn't even that pretty to look at in the first place, and it really was just a lame old common rock. But Nya would like it for the meaning behind it, right?

He hoped so. He didn't want to screw this up so soon.

"I guess we should get going," sighed Cole at last, clambering to his feet. "Come on guys. The sooner we start the sooner it'll be over."

"Grrrrowf!" growled Junior, stumbling. He had been bragging to Lloyd about his various talents, as six-year-olds do, and had finally challenged him to a tug-of-war to prove how strong he was. They were using the cloth belt from Lloyd's gi, and Junior was pulling with his teeth rather than his hands. Lloyd was going as easy as he could on the kid, but it was inevitable that he would be much, much stronger.

"Don't go easy on me!" ordered Junior through his closed teeth. "Pull harder! Gah! Not so hard! Grrrr, I'm gonna beat ya!"

"Hoho, I don't think so," teased Lloyd, easing up a little. "I'm gonna wi-iiiin!"

"Never!" gritted Junior. "Pull harder! Pull as hard as you can!"

"Well, okay . . . " Lloyd gradually increased his efforts. Junior skidded, snarling helplessly, then finally lost his balance and pitched forward with a yelp. Lloyd caught him deftly before he could hit the floor. He had to laugh at Junior's startled expression.

"Awwwww . . . " The snakelet slumped, realizing he'd been defeated.

"Hey, that was still really good," said Lloyd, setting him upright. "When you're as old as I am, then you'll be as strong as I am too. You're already pretty strong for a six-year-old!"

"Really?" Junior blinked up at him hopefully.

"Sure," said Lloyd. "You'll get there. Just be a good snake and never eat your vegetables."

"Vegetables?" Junior wrinkled his nose. "You mean _plants_? Yuck! Never!"

"That's the spirit," said Lloyd approvingly. From nearby Cole laughed.

"You horrible influence."

"He's _carnivorous._ He's not supposed to eat vegetables!" retorted Lloyd. "Ah, don't listen to him, Junior. I'm a great influence."

"Uh-huh! You're the best infwence, Unca Lloyd," said Junior loyally.

"Woah, woah, uncle?" Lloyd chuckled. "I think you have me mixed up with someone else."

"No, that's standard," said Kai, finally moving from beneath his stalactite. "Young Serpentine use 'uncle' and 'aunt' for anyone older who they look up to."

"They do? How do you—" Lloyd paused, Junior squirming in his arms, and looked at Kai. The fire ninja was looking away. Lloyd's gaze softened in understanding—there must have been some much-too-young Serpentine in the slobber trade.

"You know, Junior, I really appreciate it," he said quietly, helping the snake youngling onto his shoulders. "But maybe you should just call me 'Lloyd'."

"Ah, knock that off," scoffed Kai, uninterested in pity. He heaved himself to his feet, grimacing as he placed weight on his ankle. "Let the kid call you Uncle if he wants. It'll be nice to see it applied to someone who deserves it for a change."

"Me?" Lloyd blinked. "Awwwwww . . . "

"Don't get mushy." Kai gave him a smirk. "And you do realize that being Junior's uncle makes you Skales' brother?"

" . . . Oh."

Kai chuckled at the face the younger ninja pulled.

"Hey, worse things could happen, right?"

"I guess." Lloyd gave him a grudging smile. "It makes _you_ Skales' brother as well."

". . . Fewer worse things have happened in that case. But they've happened."

Meanwhile Junior fidgeted, trying to see Lloyd's face from over his head.

"So can I call ya Unca Lloyd? Can I?"

"Guess so, Junior." Lloyd tugged on the snakelet's toes lightly. "I'll try to be a good uncle, 'kay?"

"Kay!" Junior snuggled himself down against the top of Lloyd's head. "Don't worry, you're gonna be good. You're comfy."

Lloyd chuckled fondly, brushing the snakelet's hand away from his eye.

Meanwhile, Jay was observing the tableau with some regret.

"This is not going the way it is supposed to," he remarked.

"I know, right?" Cole grumbled. "Where in the plan did it say he was supposed to enjoy this?"

* * *

 **A/N: You guyyyyyyyys there are actual real-live creatures that look JUST LIKE MEEP AND MOPP! Only purple. I have a link to a video on my profile if you wanna see 'em. Also a link to "Stamp on the Ground," for the heck of it. Fun song.**


	42. Ninjas Fight ALL the Time!

**And with this chapter we achieve the meaning of life!**

 **. . . If only it were that easy. XD**

 **Posting this one a little early, 'cos I'll be traveling Tuesday and Wednesday. Sorry, but all y'all probably won't get any review replies until Thursday, or mayyyybe Wednesday night. ^_^''**

 **Ninja Pony: Thanks for the review! Yep; it takes a certain degree of trust/respect before a Serpentine youngster will call an elder "uncle," so Lloyd better be duly honored by that. :P**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Yes indeed he is!**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Hullo, you've disabled PMs? Well, all righty then! Thanks for the review; yep, Jay has a whole stock of annoying songs he could teach that kid. The others better keep an eye on him before he tries. :P**

 **Guest (who I assume is mangamaker314): No worries! I know how it is. Yeah, that's pretty much what it is. His jaw can grip much more tightly than his hands, and he's able to throw more of his body into pulling that way. Besides, young Serpentine are able to walk on all fours comfortably (they grow out of that ability around age eight), so hunting and grasping with their mouths comes more naturally to them.**

 **Other Guest: Thanks! Sorry, I would totally give the link, but I didn't get my info about the special from any specific source. I only heard about it from other people. ^_^'' You could probably check out TheRyan AndDavydShow on YouTube, though! They usually have all the latest Ninjago info.**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth, Cole lightly wounded, various minor injuries, lost in abandoned mine**

* * *

The ninja pulled themselves together and started walking again, entering the standard mine tunnel that continued at the other end of the cave. Jay felt at the rough piece of limestone in his pocket, reassuring himself that he could handle just a little more. Until he gave it to Nya, the limestone could remind him what he was heading home for.

The walk seemed to last for hours. It probably did. The conversation centered more and more around "gee, there sure are a lot of tunnels down here" and "there's gotta be an exit _someplace_."

"I swear we've been here before," said Jay. "Are you sure we're not walking in circles?"

"No, we haven't been here before," sighed Cole, raising his eyes ceilingwards. "We're not even heading the same way as before."

"Yeah we are."

"No, we're not."

"We totally are. Do you not have a sense of direction?"

Cole snorted.

" _You_ don't have a sense of direction."

"No, _you_ don't."

"No, you."

"You."

"You."

"You." Jay narrowed his eyes, wondering how long he could draw this out. Cole snorted and looked away.

"Not playing your game," he said blandly. Jay sighed, disappointed.

"Ah, great. He's trying to adult again."

"Even down here you're leaving us?" protested Kai. "Don't leave us!"

"I have bigger things on my mind," said Cole. "Like the fact that you're about to get yourself tendonitis."

Kai reddened slightly, still unwilling to discuss his worsening limp.

"What's my other option?" he said a bit tersely. "Sitting down and waiting for a bus?"

"Well, your _current_ option probably involves meeting up with some Technicians on our way out of here," said Cole. "How do you think that's gonna go?"

"You saying I shouldn't have come?" Kai's eyelids slid down a little.

"Well, I don't know. Does it look like you're being really helpful right now?" Cole's tone was still casual, but the others could feel the tension in the group hike up a notch or two. Kai kept his eyes down, watching as every other step lurched beneath him.

"I didn't know we'd be walking so much," he said at last. Just a touch sullenly.

"No? Wellllllll, aren't you the strategist," said Cole.

"And aren't _you_ just the most sympathetic?" snarked Kai.

"Guys, come on, not this again . . . " pleaded Lloyd under his breath.

"Sympathy has nothing to do with it," said Cole. "If you're irresponsible and—"

"I knew what I was doing, _okay?_ "

A tense silence. From atop Lloyd's shoulders Skales Junior gave them all a look of righteous indignation.

"You guys better stop using swear words, 'cos I'm six!" he announced. There was a surprised silence, then a ripple of gentle laughter. The tension dissolved like shaved ice under warm water, and Lloyd and Zane exchanged relieved looks, glad there wasn't going to be a fight.

"Geez. How come Lloyd was never this adorable?" said Jay.

"Because Lloyd was a brat," said Kai matter-of-factly.

"I guess I should be grateful that's in past tense," muttered Lloyd.

"Awh, come on, be fair," said Cole. "We were younger then too; we were all kinda rattlebrained and had less patience for kids and stuff. It wasn't all him."

"Yeah," said Lloyd smugly, pleased at having backup. He blew a raspberry in Kai's direction, taking advantage of the fact that—with a snake youngling perched on Lloyd's shoulders—Kai's options for retaliation were limited. The fire ninja snorted in baffled frustration. Cole elbowed him teasingly, evidently letting go of his half of the near-argument.

"Whaaaaat, are you just gonna stand there and take it?" he grinned. Kai rolled his eyes at him, forcing back a grudging smile.

"We should remain calm." Zane had been quiet for most of this conversation, but now ventured to offer his two cents. "We cannot afford to waste energy on arguing."

"I know, I know," groaned Cole. "You're one to talk. You're not starving."

"Good point," said Lloyd. "I think being hungry is making us snippy . . . How about some dinner?"

"Well, I dunno," began Cole, but Lloyd seemed to have already made up his mind. He glanced up to Junior.

"Feel like a rat hunt, little guy?"

"Yeah!" said Junior eagerly. Lloyd swung him down from his shoulders. It turned out to be poor judgment on his part; Kai immediately mowed him down.

"Ow, hey!" protested Lloyd as the fire ninja roughed him up playfully. "No fair!"

"Any last words, wise guy?" growled Kai. Cole, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, stayed out of it. He knew they'd avoid serious injury, and he understood they needed to blow off a little steam. Honestly he seemed tempted to pick a fistfight himself.

Meanwhile Junior hopped in anxious circles around the scuffle, gnawing on his fingers and urging Lloyd to fight harder. He seemed to have some genuine qualms about whether the green ninja would emerge alive.

"Fight, Unca Lloyd! You hafta win!"

"Ho no, this kid is doomed," said Kai. He tugged at Lloyd's hair, grumbling. "I'd give you a wet willie, only I can't find your _ears._ Do you have those?"

"Okay, hair-pulling is out of line. I'm done." Lloyd tossed Kai aside and sat up.

"Should've seen that one coming," he sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Junior dove to his side, glaring suspiciously in Kai's direction.

"You leave Unca Lloyd's ears alone," he warned.

"Oh no, his ears are forfeit," said Kai, grinning evilly. Junior gave a threatening hiss.

"Leave 'im alone, Kai," said Lloyd, climbing to his feet and shooing Kai back. "Come on, June, we have rats to catch."

Lloyd and Junior kept pace with the rest of the group, swinging ahead and behind to track down rats. The two of them went at it with a savagery that left more than just Jay unnerved.

"Hit 'em in the neck, Junior!" Lloyd's voice echoed from ahead in the tunnel. "Quickest way to finish 'em!"

"There's one! Throw your knife, Unca Lloyd! HA! You got 'im!"

The conversation was punctuated by various screeches and squeals. Meep and Mopp seemed somewhat unsettled by the ruckus, staying close to Jay. He was grateful for their company.

"Those poor rats . . . " he groaned. "What did they ever do to anyone?"

Lloyd came plowing by.

"This is great!" he called. "Man, just like old times. Only now that I have longer legs and a bunch of weapons, catching these suckers is easy! We're gonna catch one for everyone."

"You barbarian," Jay shouted back.

"Ah, it's a very humane kill." Lloyd darted closer; the others started when they saw he was swinging two dead rats by the tails. "Here, hold these, I need my hands free."

He handed the rats off to Cole and skittered away.

"Yugh; I don't wanna hold these!" Cole called after him indignantly. "GAH! This one's still ALIVE!"

"Eh?" Lloyd reappeared and squinted at the rats. Then he took the one that was struggling feebly and deftly dashed its head against the wall.

"Fraidy-cat." He rolled his eyes at Cole and swung off again.

"Okay, I'm starting to agree with Jay now," Cole shouted after him. "You are scary!"

Even Kai was shaking his head. They were all so used to their youngest teammate being a gentle-natured, innocent, animal-loving kid; seeing him chasing down and slaughtering rodents registered wrong on _so_ many levels.

"I got one!" Junior came trotting by on all fours, holding a rat in his jaws.

"You hypnotized it?" called Lloyd.

"No . . . I tried, but I couldn't," said Junior sadly. He handed the rat up to a continually indignant Cole, then flickered his tongue thoughtfully to test the air.

"Found a nuther one!" he called, and dove.

"Woah, Junior, not that one!" Lloyd swooped in and grabbed him back.

"Why not?" Junior strained towards his target. "It's not runnin' away! Maybe I can 'ipnotize it!"

"No no, that's a mama rat," said Lloyd. "You see how it's growling and staying by that hole in the wall? She's protecting her babies. You have to leave her alone so she can take care of them."

"Ohhhh," said Junior. "You're smart, Unca Lloyd."

"So, you _do_ have some shreds of decency," grumbled Jay.

"Nah; this is just good rat husbandry." Lloyd grinned over his shoulder. "Gotta keep the populations up. Besides, we're not desperately starving right now. If we were, I'd be killing the mom so I could scoop out the babies and eat them too."

He pattered off down the tunnel again.

"You are _scary!_ " the others shouted after him.

* * *

Lloyd and Junior caught five rats, then switched to gathering firewood. It was difficult to find much; there was only the occasional abandoned pickaxe handle. Eventually they hit the jackpot, in the form of an overturned minecart made entirely of wood. They broke it up, found a part of the tunnel where the floor was dry, and stopped to cook the rats. Kai lit the fire while Lloyd skinned the rats and strung them by their tails from his katana. Junior stayed well away from the flames, watching with horrified awe.

"What are you _doing?_ " he demanded. "Why're you burning 'em?"

"It's not burning," laughed Lloyd. "It's cooking. It's what humans do with a lot of their food."

"Whaaaaaaaaat." Junior scrunched his nose in disbelief.

"Yep. Food tastes better when it's cooked, and some food would even make us sick if we didn't cook it."

Junior shook his head morosely.

"You humans are _weird._ "

Kai gave a muffled choking sound.

" _We're_ the weird ones," he muttered. "How come he gets away with saying it?"

"Because he is six years old," said Zane blandly.

"Yeah, Kai. You aspiring to that level of maturity?" grinned Cole. "So ambitious!"

Kai huffed and said no more.

Jay was slouched a small distance away from the fire, trying not to sulk. The memory of his beloved childhood pet made him unwilling to munch his kindred's flesh, but he couldn't deny that the cooking rats smelled _good_. Really good. He tried to steel his resolve.

"Oh, you guys are going to like these," said Lloyd, poking at the sizzling meat with his dagger. "These are some of the best rats I've ever seen. Very plump, very tender. Gourmet quality."

Jay gave a muffled groan of despair.

"Is that what they mean by 'fancy rats'?" said Cole. "I've seen those at pet stores. Not just pet rats, or white rats— _Fancy_ Rats."

"Yep, that's probably what it means," said Lloyd. "Good eatin'."

"Who," demanded Jay, "gets a pet rat just so they can eat it?! WHO?!"

"I would," said Kai. "I'd feed it on garlic bread and pesto, so it'd be nicely pre-seasoned, and then once it was properly fattened up—"

"I'm disowning you!" declared Jay. "Both of you!"

"Because we appreciate gourmet rats?" Lloyd raised an eyebrow.

"Gourmet," scoffed Jay. "A lot you'd know about gourmet. You are a savage, sir. A callous fiend, with all the tenderness and sensitivity of an overbaked crouton."

He earned some more raised eyebrows.

" . . . Wow," said Cole.

"I'm not sure what all of that meant," said Lloyd. "But I think I'm insulted. No rat for you."

"You're darn right no rat for me!" snapped Jay. He tried to ignore the hollow gnawing feeling in his stomach. Meanwhile Junior cast him a suspicious look and edged closer to Lloyd. Clearly he did not appreciate his favorite uncle being labeled a crouton.

Lloyd tucked right in as soon as the meal was ready. The others were a little hesitant, overcoming their final aversion to this kind of cuisine.

"So, this is how low we've fallen," sighed Kai. "Gnawing on rats like medieval Jamanukai under seige."

"Nothing low about it," said Lloyd amiably. "Junior, c'mon, give it a try."

Junior was scrutinizing the fifth rat (which had been given to him and not Jay) from every angle, looking suspicious. At last he gave it a cautious nibble. After a few bites he lost interest.

"It tastes weird. Immuna go catch another one," he announced, and pattered off with Meep at his shoulder.

"Stay close," called Lloyd. He glanced back at Jay, his eyes questioning.

"No, I do not want any rat," said Jay sullenly. "Especially not a pre-gnawed rat."

"C'mon, Jay," said Lloyd gently. "You sure?"

Jay sucked on his teeth. His stomach growled at the lingering scent of grilled meat and the sound of munching, and he realized he was going to lose strength if he didn't eat soon. But by now it was almost as much a matter of pride as anything else. He didn't fancy the humiliation of giving in, admitting he'd been unreasonable, crawling back like the prodigal son and facing the others' knowing smiles. They were being patient with him, and he hated it. Whyyyyyyyyy oh why did he always have to make such a fool of himself?

Shoot, he was so hungry though. Maybe he could engineer a graceful entrance? Some way to get the meal and still retain some dignity . . .

"Say, if you're not going to eat, can I have yours?" called Cole.

That'd do.

"No. No more." Jay scooted closer. "Better me than you."

Taking a deep breath, he started to eat.

 _I'm sorry, Choo_ , he mentally told the spirit of his pet.

In a second he almost forgot about Choo, though. The warm, smoky, savory taste of the meat flooded over his tongue, making him almost shudder with relief. Hunger was, as always, the best seasoning.

"Heh. Welcome to the crouton club." Lloyd patted his shoulder. Jay looked up, puzzled, then realized the others were trying to hide those knowing smiles he'd been dreading so much. He lowered his gaze quickly and kept eating. It wasn't as bad as he'd expected, really. He could feel his face growing hot, but there was a much nicer warmth spreading through his insides, too. It was nice to have friends who put up with your weird dramas.

"Tastes like chicken, huh?" said Cole.

"Not even slightly," mumbled Jay.

* * *

Mopp fell asleep while the humans were eating. Junior came back with Meep dozing atop his head and a rat's tail dangling from the corner of his mouth. The snakelet flopped down in a tangled bundle of arms and legs and fell asleep as well. Lloyd yawned.

"We should keep moving," said Cole, without much conviction. Kai yawned in turn.

"C'monnnn, guys. I know, it's been a long walk," sighed Cole. "But come on! We could be only a few dozen feet from a shaft out of here."

"Or we might be a few dozen miles from one," grumbled Kai. "Either way, what does it matter? If the shaft is a dozen feet away, we can find it and climb it first thing tomorrow. I'd rather climb when I'm not half-asleep."

"And the floor is dry here, and we have a fire to keep us warm," said Lloyd drowsily. "Please?"

Cole tousled his hair, looking at a loss.

"Okay then, _you_ guys sleep," he said. "I'm gonna go scout around to see what the terrain will be like tomorrow. See if I can find something."

"But you do not have a light," said Zane.

Cole, already halfway gone, turned back with a huff. It irked him somewhat that out of the five of them, he was the only one who couldn't produce his own light.

"Fine then. Will some self-sacrificial soul come with me to light the way? No, not you, Kai. Siddown. Rest that leg."

"There's nothing wrong with my leg," grumbled Kai.

"Then there's plenty wrong with your head," said Cole tersely. Kai snorted. Nearby Junior cracked open one eye and shuffled a little away from the group, looking uneasy. Nobody noticed.

"Lloy—" Cole looked to the green ninja and shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. The youngest ninja had fallen asleep sitting up, his head nodding to his chest.

"Don't wake him," murmured Kai. "I think he had trouble falling asleep last night."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Your aliens were with him instead of with you. They seem to like crawling on people who are miserable," said Kai.

"Ohhhh." Jay felt his eyebrows raise. He hadn't realized that was why Meep and Mopp had abandoned him last night. Maybe Lloyd was having just as hard a time down here, and nobody knew? Poor kid. Zane eased him gently to the floor, ruffling his hair.

"Jay, then?" sighed Cole. "No offense, Zane, but your eyes kinda aren't the best light. Sort've spot-lighty, you know?"

Zane shrugged understandingly. He probably didn't mind a chance to stay behind and rest, either. Sighing, Jay heaved himself to his feet and held up a glowing handful of lightning.

"This better be a short expedition."

They strode through the tunnels in silence for a while. In several places there were junctions or forks; discussing which way to explore first made up the extent of the conversation. Every now and then Cole would stop and put his hand to the wall, closing his eyes as he tried to sense the layout ahead.

Jay tagged along quietly. He got a vague sense that Cole was being a little distant, and he considered asking if it was something he'd said, but he didn't feel up to starting a conversation. For possibly the first time in his life, he was too tired and downhearted to have any interest in talking. Maybe staying sane in these tunnels took physical strength, because his joints were aching the way they only did after the most rigorous day of training, and his head felt floaty and surreal.

They didn't find any vertical shafts. Cole was peeved. They chose a tunnel that seemed to at least slope upwards, memorized its location relative to the other tunnels, and headed back. Cole flopped down by the remains of the campfire and passed out almost instantly. Jay settled down as well, sighing, and rubbed at the piece of limestone in his pocket mournfully. The achy feeling was still throbbing dully in his bones.

At least there was a smoldering fire to stave off the cold breeze, plus Meep and Mopp chose to stay with him tonight. He decided to be grateful for small mercies.

* * *

Lloyd awoke in the night to a strange noise. It was a sort of rapid keening sound, with the tempo of a seal bark but the tone of a puppy whining. He rolled over, squinting through the dark, and saw Kai clambering to his feet.

"What's going on?" mumbled Lloyd, rubbing one eye.

"It's the kid," Kai whispered back.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?" asked Lloyd, sitting up at once.

"I don't know. He's crying."

" _That's_ —"

"Snakes don't have tear glands," Kai whispered impatiently. "Go back to sleep, I'll talk to him."

"It's okay, I'll handle it," said Lloyd, starting to get up. "He's my responsibility."

Kai pushed him back down lightly.

"We might have a lot more walking to do tomorrow, and you need sleep more than I do. Besides, I've had experience with Nya. I know how to handle kids."

Lloyd snorted in disbelief.

"You mean like leaving them all day at an arcade where they can wander off to board random evil buses?"

" . . . Go back to sleep."

"Or hanging them off of signs?"

"We were totally justified—"

"Or leaving them captive with cannibalistic snakes for three weeks?"

"Are we still talking about that?"

"And do I need to bring up how _well_ you handled that side job as a birthday party entertainer?"

Kai dragged a hand down his face, sighing, and cast Lloyd a baleful eye.

"One of these days, I will damage you. Now _sleep_."

Chuckling silently, Lloyd lay back down and closed his eyes. Within seconds, though, they popped open again. Considering how standoffish Kai seemed to be about both Serpentine and small children, the two of them together could not be a good combination. Not like he didn't trust him—all joking aside—he just worried Kai might be too gruff with the kid or something. For now he lay still, ears pricked.

Meanwhile Kai approached the small shivering bundle of scales that was Skales Junior.

"Hey kiddo," he whispered, crouching down. "Are you okay?"

The whimpering abated only the slightest degree as the small snub nose rose from the snakelet's arms and bobbed in a nod.

"Does anything hurt?"

Junior shook his head. Kai sat down and crossed his legs, sighing.

"You miss your mom and dad, huh?"

"Nuh-uh." Junior's strained voice wove shakily between whines. "I'm tough. I don't miss an'one. I just have a—" he choked on a sudden wave of distress "—a cough."

"Ahhh." Kai nodded. "Well hey, should I stick around till it goes away? Just in case."

"O . . . okay." Skales Junior sat up, still making that steady chirping sound. It slowed slightly over time, but showed no signs of stopping. Kai winced; though higher-pitched than usual due to the young throat producing it, the sound brought back memories he'd rather not recall. Even snakes mourned their dead.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he prodded gently.

Junior looked up at him for a moment, silent. Then he dissolved into a more intensive storm of snake-sobs than any prior.

"Woah, woah, hey!" Kai hesitated, then held out his arms. The snakelet scrambled up into his lap and buried his face in the chest of Kai's tattered gi.

"I miss my mommy and daddy, I do," he wailed, muffled. "I'm never gonna see them again, and my baby brother's gonna come and they're gonna forget me!"

"Woah, they're not gonna forget you," said Kai. "Not a chance. I bet they're thinking about you every minute right now. And besides, you'll see them again in no time." He rubbed Junior's back soothingly as the staccato of whimpers continued. "Aww, come on, there's nothing to worry about; we're going to get out of here soon, and we'll all look out for you until you get home. You're the safest little snake in all of Ninjago right now, y'know that?"

"But you guys are scary . . . " mumbled Junior, unconsoled.

"Us?" Kai, surprised, leaned back and tried to see Junior's face. "Scary?! Why?"

"You're always fightin' an' bein' mean all the time," said Junior, tilting his head to regard Kai plaintively. "Why're you all so angry?"

"We're not _angry_. Does it look like that?" Kai considered for a moment. He didn't have to think too far back. "Huh. I guess it could." He chuckled ruefully and patted the little snake's shoulder. "Don't worry, we're not really fighting. That's just how we talk all the time."

"Why?" Junior blinked up at him, forgetting to cry in his curiosity.

"Gosh, I don't know." Kai laughed awkwardly. "I . . . guess it's our way of playing. Or we might argue a little when things go wrong, but it doesn't mean anything. Don't let it scare you."

"Oh." The youngster processed this information for a while. "So . . . you don't hate each other?"

"Heck no," said Kai gently. "We all care about each other very much. Even when we really _are_ angry. When your little brother arrives, you'll understand."

"I'm gonna talk to him like that too?"

"Ahh, heh—I think you'd better be nice to him for starters. Like, really nice. Wait till you're both older."

"Like you guys?"

"Yup."

"Ohh. Okay . . . " Satisfied, Junior snuggled deeper into Kai's arms with a small yawn.

"Ready to go back to sleep?" murmured Kai.

"I guess . . . "

Picking up the note of hesitation in the snakelet's voice, Kai looked around for a moment. Then he leaned way back, grabbed a dozing Mopp by one of the legs, and tucked the little alien into Junior's arms.

"There. He can keep you company. Sound good?"

"Mmmhmmm." Junior nestled down, cuddling the drowsily bewildered alien. "Thanks, Unca Kai . . . "

"No problem, kiddo." Kai adjusted his position, yawning, and waited for the snake youngling to fall asleep fully before putting him down. Nearby, Lloyd closed his eyes to sleep too, smiling. He loved his big brother so freaking _much_ sometimes.

* * *

 **A/N: That answers that question; 500th reviewer for this story will receive a gourmet rat, specially prepared by Lloyd and served on a bed of lettuce and cherry tomatoes.**

 **Haha, but seriously. That 500 review mark seems to be ticking closer and closer (have I mentioned you guys are amazing?), and as per Moonlight mm123's suggestion, I've decided to do a bit of a reader special: a combination Ask Me Anything and chance to request one-shots. Details on that soon!**

 **Man, these tunnels have been going on for a while though, huh? But I can promise you guys there'll be some new developments in the next chapter!**


	43. The Purpose of the Ninja is to Flip Out

**. . . "Flip out and kill people," actually. Dang character limits.**

 **Just in case anyone was wondering, the last three chapters' titles have been based on an older meme, a website called "REAL Ultimate Power." It's about ninjas, and the chapter titles are the Three Facts of the Ninja. It worked out scarily well, subject-wise!**

 **Elveron294: Haiii there! Ooh, sounds cool! I'd never heard of Quotev before, I was surprised how many Ninjago stories were on there . . . I did look up your username, and I searched all over trying to find a story with your name on it, but I couldn't find it. Could you tell me the name of the fanfic? I'd like to see it. ^_^''**

 **Ninja Pony: It's a way of life for them. They enjoy it. XD No worries! You don't need to receive the gourmet rat if you don't want to. :P**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Oh dear! *sends kittens to revive you***

 **Guest: Aww, thanks for taking the time to catch up! Glad you're having fun. Yeah, Lloyd's going to have a bit of a harder time disliking Skales, now that he's technically his brother or brother-in-law or something. XP**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai weak in one leg, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth, Cole lightly wounded, various minor injuries, lost in abandoned mine**

* * *

Jay was awoken by the sound of Kai crying out. The blue ninja cracked open his eyes with some effort, then dragged himself up, buzzing indistinctly. He plunked down next to Kai.

"Eeeeeasy," he mumbled, yawning. "You're 'kay. Ish not real."

Kai pawed at the air for a moment, disoriented, then fell still. Jay could just barely see his eyes glinting in the ember-light as he looked around, still adjusting to reality.

"Man," he panted at last. He pushed back his scruffy hair. "Wow."

"Bad one, huh?" Jay was more fully awake by now. "What about?"

"Ah, it was crazy," said Kai, his eyes going distant. "There was . . . there was that guy from the radio talk show, Hugh Stillaphy. And he was _in our room_. And I look up, and he's standing right next to the bed!"

Jay muffled a snicker. He couldn't help it.

"Hey, it was scary!' said Kai, wounded.

"I know, I'm sorry." Jay raised his hands with an apologetic smile. Kai grumbled indistinctly. After a moment or two Jay felt him twitch.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Jay smiled when he realized the fire ninja was laughing. Kai propped up on one elbow and pulled the campfire back into life, a lopsided smirk on his face.

"He had a freaking _harpoon_ ," he said, his voice tinted with both exhaustion and laughter. "And he said he had to get revenge because we kidnapped his granny."

They both cracked up muffledly.

"Why'd we kidnap her?" whispered Jay.

"I don't remember. I think we wanted her to tell us some secrets about Hugh Stillaphy." Kai flopped back and rubbed his eyes, groaning amusedly. "Ughhhhhhh."

"Sick of the nightmares, huh?" said Jay.

"Yeah." Kai sighed. "It's actually kinda nice to have a silly one again, though. They've all been getting really dark lately."

"Yours too?" said Jay.

"Yeah. It's never stuff that seems goofy when you wake up anymore. There's, like . . . death and stuff."

"No kidding." Jay sank his chin onto the backs of his hands. "If my dreams could donate blood, there'd never be a plasma shortage again."

A bit of silence.

"It's getting really old," said Kai at last. Jay winced; that was Kai for "this is killing me inside and I don't know how much longer I can take it." They all tried to play tough, but falling asleep every night knowing that horrors awaited you was taking its toll.

"I know," he said softly. "Really old."

Kai chewed the inside of his cheeks, his eyes distant again.

"Do you ever . . . " He trailed off.

"Yeahhhhhh?"

Kai hesitated, rubbing his thumbs together.

"Well, have you ever had a nightmare about . . . about killing someone?"

"Oh, those." Jay shrugged. "Sure, all the time."

"All the time?!" Kai's gaze snapped up to him.

"Sure. The others have them too. What, did you just have your first?"

"Uhhh . . . yes."

"Psh. We're ninja, Kai. We each know like forty different ways to kill a person, we're regularly trained and drilled in how to kill people, and when we're not doing that we play video games about killing people. How could we _not_ dream about it?"

"Well, I'm sorry for my lack of bloodthirstiness," said Kai drily.

"Apology accepted." Jay leaned his head on one hand, yawning. "So whoja kill?"

"Seriously?"

"Was it me? Lloyd says he's killed every one of us at least once. Sometimes all at once. And I mean, looking at his rat-catching habits, it all makes total sense now—"

"Not funny, Jay."

"I know, I know." Jay shrugged, rolling onto his back again. "Relax. I used to worry it meant something too. But after the fifteenth time you kinda get used to it."

Kai groaned. Jay sighed, wondering what else he could say. He was kind of eager to pay it forward after Cole had been so nice to him last night, but his brain was taking forever to boot up. He felt better than he had a few hours ago, but there was still a lingering ache in his joints, he was a little light-headed, and his throat hurt—probably from sleeping so close to campfire smoke.

Before Jay could say anything, Lloyd began to stir. He gave a dissatisfied hum through his sleep and mumbled something. Jay could have sworn that Kai jumped slightly at the sound, but when he looked over the fire ninja seemed completely at ease. Must've imagined it . . .

As Lloyd continued to gabble to himself, Kai scooted over and tapped his forehead.

"'eyyyy, kid. Kiddo. Lloyd." When he got no response, he gathered up a few strands of Lloyd's hair and yanked.

"OW!" Lloyd woke up rapidly.

"Take it _easy_ —" Kai leaned over and murmured something too low for Jay to catch. Only half-interested, the lightning ninja yawned and looked around. Zane was stirring a little, roused by Lloyd's shout. Junior was snuggled up against Cole's back, and Mopp was squirming valiently to get out of the snakelet's arms. Jay chuckled, wondering how Mopp had gotten there in the first place.

They were all sluggish getting up, even Junior. Only the aliens seemed refreshed and energetic.

"Does anyone have any idea how long we've been down here?" asked Kai, snuffing out the last bits of the campfire.

"About—" Cole felt at his chin "—two days."

"Two whole days?!"

"Yeah."

"Ah, great," muttered Kai. He poked at Lloyd, who was still sprawled on the stone floor. "You better get up, kiddo. If we don't get out of here soon, guess who misses their next rabies shot."

Lloyd only groaned.

* * *

They set off down the passageway Cole and Jay had chosen last "night." The hours began to drag on again. Junior started to get a bit fussy, and Lloyd coaxed him along patiently. Eventually he took to keeping the snake youngling busy by explaining to him the different martial arts stances, and the safe and honorable use of the ninja dagger. He even let Junior carry his kusarigama for a while, refraining kindly from laughing as the snakelet enthusiastically botched all the combat motions.

Meanwhile, Jay was venting his exhaustion and headache and general bad mood by running a nature documentary.

"The Lloydfish," he said sternly as they plodded along, "is a crepuscular creature. By day, and in the late hours of night, it maintains a peaceful demeanor, resting in small burrows with closely related fishes. However, when it enters into the hunt, the species conducts itself with unparalleled savagery."

"Sounds great," said Lloyd drily. He kept one eye on Junior, who had bounced ahead to hunt for breakfast under Meep's watchful mollusk eye. "Tell me more."

"Unlike most fishes," continued Jay, "the Lloydfish does not congregate in schools. This is probably because of its unparalleled savagery. This fact has made it difficult to cultivate in captivity; however, the species remains one of great commercial importance."

"Wait, you mean like for _eating?_ "

"Of course not," scoffed Jay. "They are prized for their luxurious wool."

"Walked right into that one," muttered Lloyd. He glanced ahead. "Junior?"

The snakelet was crouched on all fours, swung low, his small tail lashing. He was almost nose-to-nose with a large rat, staring at it so intensely his eyes crossed again. The rat was backed up to the wall, hissing and swiping angrily with its front feet.

Lloyd took an excited half-step forward, then stopped, holding his breath. He didn't want to frighten the rat away. As Lloyd watched intently, Junior's crossed eyes slowly began to shift, unsteadily at first, then more smoothly, creating two rotating red swirls. His head began to swing gently from side to side in hypnotic arcs. The rat fell still, trembling.

"Look into my eyes," whispered Junior, his voice unsteady from concentration. "You are . . . mine . . . "

The ninja were watching with slight uneasiness; Hypnobrai hypnosis was a creepy affair. Only Lloyd seemed to be thoroughly excited about this.

"I control you," finished Junior. "I command you. Be ssssstill . . . "

The rat was standing motionless now, its eyes glassy. Junior's eyes slowly spun to a halt, fixed far into the distance. Almost simultaneously his eyelids slid down protectively and his entire body lurched forward. His jaws snapped shut over the rodent's head, killing it instantly, then worked deftly to maneuver his catch down his throat.

Once he'd finished swallowing, Junior sat back, shook out his head, and blinked rapidly, forcing his eyes to come back into focus. A little dazed, he looked up to Lloyd. Then his eyes flew open wide.

"I did it!" he squealed. "I did it! I 'ipnotized a rat! I DID IT!"

"You did! Way to go, Junior!" Lloyd scooped him up and swung him around. "Ha! I knew you could do it! I knew it!"

Cole shook his head glumly at the continued jubilation.

"If you'd told me three days ago that Lloyd would be this excited about a snake learning to hypnotize and destroy his prey . . . "'

"You have to admit though, he's gonna make a great dad someday." Kai smiled ruefully. "Probably genetic."

Junior came bouncing back towards the group, still whooping.

"I can do it, I can do it, I can do 'ipnosis! Didja see me? Didja see me 'ipnotize the rat?"

"We saw you," sighed Cole.

"His dad's gonna _kill_ me," groaned Lloyd, although he was still smiling. "His son's first hypnosis kill, and he wasn't around to see it!"

"He'll get over it," said Jay grumpily. "Give him a nice Lloydfish-wool sweater."

* * *

With Junior still bubbling exuberantly, they made their way farther down the tunnels. Junior wanted to hypnotize everyone who came handy, but Lloyd did his best to dissuade him. Hypnotizing humans was a more complicated affair, and they couldn't risk Junior starting something he wouldn't know how to undo.

"I feel like we've been going uphill for a long time," remarked Cole tiredly, a few hours later. "I guess that's a pretty good . . . "

Suddenly he fell silent. His gaze shifted to the ceiling, his eyes growing wide. Then, with a desperate shout, he dove into Lloyd and shoved him forward. Lloyd stumbled, top-heavy from carrying Junior on his shoulders, and lurched into Jay.

Before Jay could react to being jostled, the ceiling fell in.

Junior gave a scream as a massive chunk of rock slammed down inches away from him and Lloyd. The ground jumped beneath their feet, and more rocks began to tumble from overhead, grumbling and grinding and crunching over each other. Lloyd bolted out from beneath an avalanche of boulders and went sprawling; Junior was flung off his shoulders with a yelp. As the ceiling continued to crumble, Lloyd scrabbled to his feet and snatched the snakelet's hand, dragging him along amidst showers of stone.

They ran. Now that part of the ceiling had given way, more and more of it seemed to be collapsing in a domino reaction—and all the ninja could hope to do was stay ahead of it. The ground quaked beneath them, dust filled their lungs, rocks grazed them as they ran, slabs of stone the size of minivans crashed down in their wake. Jay's windpipe burned and his heart roared in his ears; he couldn't see, they were all running blind.

It dragged on in a chaotic, terrified blur. Finally the thunder of avalanching stone abated slightly, falling back into the distance. Instinctively sensing that they were near the edge of the collapse, they made one last desperate lunge and hurled themselves to putative safety.

Lloyd fell headlong again, rolling over Junior to shield him. Jay sprawled next to him. They all waited, bracing for a six-ton slab of ceiling to slam down on them in turn.

It held. Silence fell. The last few pebbles clattered into place.

Jay, his head swimming, rolled onto his hands and knees and vomited his fear into the darkness. The floor seemed to rock as he struggled to keep a white-knuckled grip on his sanity. The ceiling had fallen in. It had _actually_ fallen in. The nightmare was real.

From nearby Skales Junior whimpered unsteadily, and Lloyd whispered "shhhh, you're okay, you're okay," in between gasps for air. Mopp squirmed, amazingly still nested in Jay's hoodie, and gave a despairing mewl. Slowly, grimly, Jay clawed his way back into reality.

"Zane," he managed to croak. "He was right next to me."

Lloyd scrambled to his feet.

"Zane?" he called.

No reply.

They skidded back to the collapsed section. A sloping bank of stone stood in their way, piling up to the ceiling.

"He—I think he was next to me right to the end," said Jay. "Maybe he's near here! Maybe we can dig him out!"

They began to pull aside handfuls of rock feverishly.

"Is he gonna be okay?" asked Junior, shivering.

"He's made of metal Junior, the rocks wouldn't hurt him much." Lloyd tried to sound reassuring. "Come on, you can help us grab the small rocks."

They kept working. As they dug deeper, there was no sign of the Nindroid. Jay's stomach twisted. Zane didn't need to breathe much, but he still needed _some_ air. How long could he survive buried under gravel and dirt?

The panicky atmosphere was exacerbated by Meep, who was screaming and tearing back and forth between Jay and the nearest wall. Soon Mopp also began to squeal and thrash his tentacles against Jay's head.

"Knock it off, not now," said Jay at last, pulling Mopp out of his hood and setting him down. Mopp immediately began to drag himself across the floor, while Meep pushed from behind. Ignoring the aliens, the humans and snakelet kept digging.

A few moments later, however, Junior stopped tossing aside rocks and tugged on Lloyd's sleeve.

"Look, they're digging too," he said.

The humans looked where he pointed. Sure enough, Meep and Mopp were burrowing furiously into a section of the rubble, tossing pebbles every which way. Lloyd and Jay looked at each other, wondering if they could risk giving up their current search.

"I . . . I don't think he was _there_ ," said Jay. "He was on the other side of me."

Still, Lloyd stepped over and began to scoop away handfuls of rock. The aliens screeched at him approvingly, urging him on. Three swipes, and suddenly he uncovered a metallic hand.

"Zane!" he yelped, and began to dig wildly. Jay and Junior scrambled to help.

It only took them a few seconds to uncover the Nindroid. He was gasping and covered with dents and scrapes, and one of his eyes had been knocked in—but he was very much alive. Lloyd dragged him out of the rubble and into a hug.

"Good work, guys," rasped Jay, petting Meep and Mopp wearily. Now that the panic had subsided, his head had resumed swimming, and his throat was burning—probably from a combination of dust and bile. His stomach twisted again at the thought of what must have happened to the others. They couldn't have. They weren't . . .

"Your eye," Lloyd mumbled, pulling back. "Can you still see?"

"Yes, out of both." There was a nasty crunching sound as Zane blinked, his eyelid scraping broken glass. "The blue light is for decorative purposes, really. I'm fine."

He looked over his shoulder at the rubble, a wordless question. Junior spoke up.

"Wh-what about Unca Kai? And Cole?" he piped shakily. "C-can we dig them out too?"

"They're . . . on the other side," said Lloyd. "That's got to be more than half a mile away by now. We can't dig that far."

"But they're okay?"

"Y—yeah," said Lloyd. "They stayed behind where the roof wasn't falling, you know?"

Jay could tell from the hopeless light in his eyes that he didn't believe it. But they couldn't tell the snakelet that. He was pretty sure he couldn't even bear to admit it to _himself_. Lloyd was right—Kai and Cole had probably been too far back to get hit by the first slab of ceiling. They were probably perfectly safe on the other side. A little panicky, but safe. And not buried under tons of crushing suffocating merciless grinding blood-spattered—

Jay shuddered violently, forcing his mind to close against the dark thoughts that pushed their way in. He tried not to look at the ceiling. He'd been doing so well, keeping his fears locked in the back of his head.

He swallowed with difficulty, looking around at Lloyd and Zane and Skales Junior. Technically speaking, he was the _oldest_ of them now. He couldn't afford to lose his mind. He had to be strong for them. Be a leader. Every bit of his soul wanted to just fall back and let Lloyd take over, let him do that grown-up leader thing everyone had always played along with when he pulled it, but he knew he couldn't demand that of the kid. It wasn't fair.

"Hey," he said, plucking up fake confidence from a reservoir he hadn't known he had. "I'm sure it's fine. Cole and I were wandering around last night, and the mines here are crazy. They go in circles and cross over each other and stuff. If we just keep moving and making a lot of noise, we'll meet up with Kai and Cole in no time!"

"You think so?" The hopeful looks the others cast him nearly broke his resolve.

"Sure," he drawled. Come on, he told himself. Even _he_ believed it. "Yeah, we've just gotta keep moving. We'll find a way out, or we'll find the others; whichever comes first. And if the way out comes first, we can fetch a whole search team to come down here, you know? We'll find them. It'll . . . it'll be okay."

"Jay's right." Lloyd set his jaw. "We need to get going. The sooner we start, the sooner something good can happen."

"We're gonna find 'em!" chirped Junior eagerly, slithering up Lloyd's back and wrapping his small arms around his shoulders. "We can do it!"

"Yeah, we can," said Lloyd through his teeth, and started walking. Zane swung into step next to him. Jay stopped and looked back one final time at the heap of rubble, now lying silent, uncaring. A nasty cold crawling sensation washed over him, and he shuddered and turned to follow the others.


	44. 99 Problems

**Huh. Barely anyone last chapter freaking out about Cole and Kai being quite likely dead . . . You guys all have that much faith in me not to kill characters?**

 **I'm gonna feel kinda guilty when I prove otherwise. Q_Q**

 **greenninjaisbae: Sorry, can't promise anything! We'll see, though. :)**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Because ploooooooooot! The plot expressly dictates that rocks be dropped on the head of at least one person. My hands are tied, as far as this matter goes. :[**

 **Elveron294: Oooh, I found it now! Thanks. Nice story! You write well. :)**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Nnnnnnnope**

 **Status conditions: Kai and Cole MIA, Jay lightly wounded, Lloyd with cracked tooth, Zane with light external damage and a missing eye.**

* * *

They tromped on in grim silence for a while. The tunnels never changed. Jay wondered if Cole and Kai were somewhere out there, walking through the same soulless walls, just as worried.

"We should make noise," said Lloyd. "It'll be easier to find each other that way."

"Perhaps we should sing something," suggested Zane half-heartedly.

"Y . . . yeah. Uh, so we need a song, I guess." Lloyd fell silent, clearly lost for ideas. He looked to Jay hopefully. Jay tried to suggest something, but when he tried to speak a fiery sting ran up and down his throat and he almost retched, falling silent.

"Sorry," he whispered to Lloyd's alarmed look. "My throa' really hurss." He cleared it painfully and spoke a little louder. "I'll be 'kay."

Lloyd nodded resignedly.

"Hang in there. My tooth's not so great either."

For lack of better ideas, they settled on "99 Bottles of Tea on the Wall." The mind-numbing repetition of the chorus, mixed with a tiny bit of concentration to keep track of the number of tea bottles, soon worked them into a heady resignation that was almost like optimism. Jay began to believe for real that Kai and Cole were okay, that they'd find each other soon and everything would go back to normal.

Somewhere around thirty-four bottles of tea on the wall, they came to a junction. They tried shouting down each possible path and listening to the echoes, but they couldn't make much of it.

"If only we had something to mark the walls with," said Lloyd. "Then we could make markers for Cole and Kai to follow. It would keep us from following the same path twice, too."

"Hmmmm." Jay looked around, chewing his lip. They were currently standing in ankle-deep water—not a good sign in terms of getting aboveground—and for a moment he considered using that to make marks on the wall. But water pictures would dry up in minutes; if Cole and Kai were going to see them, they would have to be so close behind that they would probably be in earshot anyway.

Then his eye fell on Meep, who was currently swimming circles around his leg.

"Hold on a sec," he said hoarsely. Scooping the alien out of the water, he tapped him between the eyes. "Meep, buddy. Can you give us some ink?"

" _Imm?_ " Meep tilted quizzically.

"That's a great idea!" Lloyd perked up, his eyes brightening. "That's right Meep, give us some ink! Just a little."

Meep looked confused. When they couldn't get through to him with words, Jay began to simply poke him between the eyes. Meep grumbled indignantly and tried to push his hand away, but Jay only switched to tugging at his stubby limbs. Mopp bonked him in the head, admonishing him for tormenting his big brother, but Jay ignored him. Meep squirmed and howled for a while more, then finally lost patience entirely and spat a glob of ink into Jay's face.

"You couldn't have aimed for the arm or something?" sighed Jay, wiping his eyes. He was surprised to hear Lloyd stifling a chuckle. Normally he'd have been a bit peeved, but right now he was just grateful that the younger ninja was still able to laugh. That meant they hadn't lost all hope just yet.

"This," he said, scraping a handful of black slime from his face and holding it out to the aliens, "is _ink_."

Meep made an " _ohhhhhhhhh!_ " sound and fixed Jay with a "why didn't you say so?!" look. Mopp leaned over the ninja's shoulder and gave a long series of warbles that probably translated to " _I knew that all along, you dummy!_ " Snorting wearily, Jay dumped the water from his canteen and set to work transferring the alien slime from himself to the container.

"I didden know they could do that." Junior peered at the aliens from Lloyd's shoulders. "What kind of ami-nals are they, anyway?"

The ninja exchanged glances.

"Well . . . we don't really know their species," said Lloyd truthfully. "We just call them Meep and Mopp."

Jay took the last handful of ink and painted a large arrow on the wall, pointing down the tunnel that they were planning to take.

"You think they'll notice it?" he said.

"I think they would," said Lloyd. Just in case, though, he took a bit of ink and added a smiley face above the arrow.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" asked Jay.

"That's how they'll know it's us."

"Because we look like that?" Jay surveyed the painfully upturned corners of the face's mouth. "I don't think we look like that."

"Yeah." Lloyd sighed, pushing back his bangs. "We don't."

His ink-stained hand left dark prints on his forehead. Jay didn't feel like laughing, but he did anyway, to help the others believe that things were all right.

They definitely didn't look like that.

Still, inking the walls kept their spirits up. Whenever they reached a junction, and sometimes even when they hadn't, they would stop and apply some ink, pointing the way.

"I feel like a graffiti artist," said Jay, clearing his throat for the dozenth time in the past half-hour. It was gradually starting to hurt less. He looked over to Lloyd's section and felt his eyebrows shoot up. Lloyd was signing his name in impeccable graffiti puff letters.

"How . . . "

Lloyd gave him a sidewise glance.

"What did you think they taught us at Darkley's?"

"I do not think I can even read that," said Zane, his brows knitting.

Jay glanced to the Nindroid and gave a slight nod towards the wall, quirking one eyebrow in a question. Zane wasn't participating in the cave painting, and Jay realized it was probably because he didn't want to reveal his unusual drawing skills. Still, the blue ninja was curious to see what Zane could do with some octopus ink.

Zane shook his head, however. Clearly he still didn't feel ready to let on about his copier abilities. Jay sighed. What wasn't to show off? Heck, even _he_ wanted to show that talent off, and it wasn't even his.

The hours dragged on. Walk. Sing and talk. Extract ink from aliens and apply it to the walls. Try not to think about death. Think about it a lot. Junior soon got tired and cranky, and even Lloyd began to lose patience with him a bit. The green ninja winced frequently as his toothache spiked, and he grew quieter and quieter as they kept on stumbling through the tunnels. Jay and Zane both offered to carry Junior for him, but he refused doggedly. Jay didn't know how he managed it; even Mopp's weight in his hood was becoming noticeable.

At last they found themselves in the same junction where they had spent the night before last. The same six tunnels led in from six directions. The cold breezes and eerie moans were still there.

Jay looked around hopelessly. He'd never thought he'd see this place again, and certainly not under these circumstances.

"Got any ideas on which way?" asked Lloyd, his voice thick.

"I don't . . . " Jay caught himself. "Give me a minute." He couldn't just say he didn't _know_. He had to know. Somebody had to. Now, to just pull the right answer out of a hat. Fantastic.

He leaned against the wall slightly, his head throbbing. He had a worsening headache, his throat still smoldered sullenly, and all his bones were aching even worse than they had before. He snuck a glance at Lloyd. The younger ninja was standing motionless, pitched forward, dull eyes fixed on the floor, feet braced wider than usual. Junior's tired weight on his back must be getting hard to ignore.

"We need to find a place to rest," said Jay hoarsely. "Out of this breeze if we can, but close to the main tunnels."

They soon found a little side cave, probably the start of a tunnel that had been abandoned. The floor was slimy, indicating that it was frequently wet, but they were too tired to look for a better place. They found a corner that was fairly dry and settled there.

Zane powered off immediately. Junior curled up with his head on Lloyd's knee, and managed to climb fully into his lap before passing out. Lloyd sat quietly against the wall, his head low but his eyes open. As Jay settled down, Meep attempted to nestle on his shoulder. A strange combination of slimy and stinging sensations shot down the lightning ninja's arm, and he reflexively shook the alien off. Pulling aside the neck of his gi, he saw that his switchblade wound had somehow been disturbed or partially reopened during the past day. A few of the stitches had broken, and the wound was oozing a nasty clear fluid. Apparently infected. Fannnnnnnn-tastic.

He was exhausted enough to drop into a restless sleep. It seemed like only seconds later when he awoke with a start; something or someone had hit him. He looked around frantically for a second, then realized it must have been Lloyd. The younger ninja had put Junior down before lying down himself, and now he was stirring and making incoherent mumbling sounds in his sleep. He must have kicked Jay in the side.

Grumbling to himself, Jay scooted a bit away from his squirming teammate. Lloyd fidgeted a bit more, then gave a sharp sigh and rolled onto his side. He fell still so abruptly that Jay was a little surprised.

Then he began to sleeptalk in earnest—but it was like no sleeptalking Jay had ever heard. The words were clear and deliberately spoken, yet Jay couldn't pick a single recognizable unit out of them. Was that even _English?_ He didn't think Lloyd knew any other languages . . .

. . . Whatever it was, though, it definitely won prizes for creepiest thing ever.

Jay took it for only a few seconds before he felt compelled to make it go away. Scooting back towards Lloyd, he poked him in the arm.

"Psssst, kid."

No response. Lloyd kept rattling on. Jay was suddenly seized by a violent urge to shudder—he didn't know what, but there was something so _wrong_ about what he was hearing, something dark and dirty and vile. He shook the sleeper vehemently.

"Lloyd! Wake up!"

Lloyd twitched in response to Jay's shaking, then suddenly lashed out. Jay gasped as he received an unexpectedly forceful blow to the ribs—since when did anyone asleep hit that hard?—but doggedly kept shaking Lloyd's shoulder. For a moment Lloyd continued to claw and thrash, his voice rising till he was almost crying out—then his eyes suddenly snapped open, locked on Jay's.

Immediately he fell still, with nothing more than a muffled choking sound. Jay breathed a long sigh of relief as Lloyd stopped fighting and the strange creepy sensation vanished.

"Dude." He was about to say something rather annoyed, but softened when he saw Lloyd's expression. The younger ninja was breathing shallowly, his eyes full of horror.

"Dude," said Jay more gently, lightly backhanding Lloyd's shoulder. "That must have been _some_ nightmare. Are you okay?"

Lloyd mumbled something, sitting up. Jay studied him uneasily. Judging how shaken Lloyd had looked just a second ago, he would have fully expected him to cry, or at least come near it. Honestly he'd have preferred that; he'd feel better about it if he could offer the kid a good long hug and let him release some of his pent-up grief. Then he could at least feel like he'd helped.

Instead Lloyd was sinking smoothly into a numb, emotionless calm. It was his nature—when things were at their worst, he didn't fall apart. He just went cold. He'd look at you with glazed eyes, tell you he was just fine, and keep stumbling on in a shell of quiet normalcy. He'd done it for weeks after Garmadon was sent to the Cursed Realm.

"Want to . . . uhh . . . talk about it?" coaxed Jay, sitting up as well and settling next to him.

"Nah." Lloyd drew up his knees. Jay struggled not to groan. How was he supposed to help here?

They sat in silence for a while.

"The others are fiiiiiine," said Jay at last, making a guess about the topic of Lloyd's nightmare. "Cole's the earth master, you know? A mine can't fall in on _his_ head."

Lloyd murmured something.

"Say what?" said Jay hopefully.

"He was right behind me," repeated Lloyd. A pause. "He pushed me through so the first rock didn't fall on me. Where he was standing . . . "

Jay shivered, his heart aching. Even in the dim glow of electricity in his hand, he could see the despair burning behind Lloyd's eyes. He could feel the same despair in his own chest, dripping down into his stomach, seeping through him like a numbing drug.

"H . . . hey," he stammered, swallowing. Had to be strong. Had to be there for the others. "I'm sure he managed to back away in time. He knew what he was doing, you know? And Kai was wayyyyy in the back because he's so slow. I'm sure they both ended up on the other side of the cave-in, and nothing happened to them at all."

Lloyd only gave a slow blink. It was clear he didn't believe it. Jay bit his lip, trying to think of what Kai or Cole would say. He mentally tested a few ideas, but they all seemed fake and shallow. First Spinjitzu Master unpreceded . . . Why did they have to get split up so _he_ was the oldest one remaining? He couldn't comfort anyone like the team's two oldest could.

"I know," he said at last. "I miss them too. But we have to keep going. We can't give up, not until we know for sure."

"I know," said Lloyd. Jay wasn't sure if he meant he knew they couldn't give up—or he knew for sure what had happened.

More silence.

"You're not mad at me?" said Lloyd softly.

"Mad? About what?"

"About the rats."

"About the _rats?_ " Jay blinked. "Where is that coming from?"

"I dunno . . . " Lloyd settled down a little tighter, not looking his way. "You said you were gonna disown me and stuff . . . "

"Wha . . . oh come on, nawwwww." Jay pushed him gently, feeling a little guilty. He hadn't thought Lloyd would take his ranting at face value. "You know I was just—you know, being dramatic and stuff. You really think I would ditch you over some stupid rats? Come on, no way. Forget it."

"Thanks," murmured Lloyd. "Just wanted to know."

He sounded so small and lost in that moment; Jay could only shift closer and wrap an arm tightly around his shoulders.

"You're fine, kiddo. You're fine."

It was like trying to hug a stone. No resistance, but no acknowledgement either. He didn't lean closer, didn't even relax. Jay hugged a little tighter, but still nothing.

Still, he stayed there quietly till the younger ninja fell asleep again. His arm went numb, but he barely noticed; his joints were aching anyway, and the ache in his chest trumped all. He felt for the limestone in his pocket, but it didn't bring him any comfort anymore. How was he going to go up there and tell Nya that her brother was _gone?_ How was he going to tell Lou that his son was in a six-mile-deep grave?

He shifted away from Lloyd a little.

"Zane?" he whispered. No reply.

He checked on Junior and the aliens for good measure. Satisfied that everyone was asleep, he pulled up his knees, buried his aching head in his arms, and had himself a good cry.

It didn't really fix anything. But out of the list of everything that was overwhelmingly wrong right now, wanting to cry was the _only_ item he could do anything about. He took what opportunities he could.

* * *

When he awoke some time later, Lloyd was already up, his eyes glazed. He looked like he hadn't slept much.

"What time is it?" asked Jay groggily, then realized nobody had any way of knowing.

"Dunno," said Lloyd.

"Didn't you sleep?" murmured Jay. Zane was only just waking up, so that meant not too much time must have passed.

"M'fine," said Lloyd.

Jay watched as the green ninja gathered his equipment and woke Junior, looking positively stoned. He snuck a glance to Zane, and the Nindroid shook his head grimly. Jay grimaced. Lloyd's tooth was getting out of hand: it was starting to interfere with his ability to focus, to get along with the others, to function in general. It was dangerous enough down here without one of their party staggering around in a pain-induced daze.

"Can I take a look at your teeth?" said Zane gently. "There may be an infection. Perhaps there is something we could do about that."

Lloyd blinked at him for a moment, clearly not comprehending; then he heaved a sigh and nodded.

"That'd be nice," he mumbled.

He sat down, and Zane motioned for him to tilt back his head a little. Kneeling next to his older-and-younger brother, the Nindroid gently pried open his mouth and pulled aside one cheek. His single glowing eye brightened slightly as he tried to light his view. After a second of scrutiny, his metallic eyebrows twitched up.

"You still have some baby teeth," he said.

Lloyd mumbled something indistinct—about as much as he could manage with Zane's hand in his mouth. When the Nindroid pulled back to let him talk, Lloyd shrugged.

"They're left over from when I was little. The Tomorrow's Tea doesn't work on teeth, I guess?"

"Hmm. Interesting," said Zane. He took another look. "Is this the one that hurts?"

"Uh-huh," slurred Lloyd.

Zane squinted for a moment. Then he sat back.

"Your gums in that area seem to be rather inflamed," he said. "Perhaps because you have been constantly running your tongue over that tooth."

"I can't help it, it hurts, 'kay?" said Lloyd, a little grumpily.

"I understand," said Zane. "I think I may be able to alleviate the pain. Would you like me to try?"

" _Yes_ ," said Lloyd.

Zane nodded, rubbing his hands together briskly. He cast Jay a look full of meaning, and the blue ninja felt his stomach drop out. He turned quickly to Skales Junior.

"Heyyyyy, Junior," he said, patting the half-asleep snakelet on the shoulder. "What do you say you and me go out for some breakfast, huh?"

"I wanna sleep," grumbled Junior drowsily, curling up into a tight little scaly ball.

"Awh, but I changed my mind about the rats, you see?" said Jay, keeping his voice low. "I, uh, thought you could show me how to catch one."

Junior opened a puzzled eye at him, then lifted his head and yawned cavernously. His jaw hinged open disturbingly far, after the nature of snakes.

"Okay," he mumbled, and clambered to his feet. "Immuna show ya."

Sighing gratefully, Jay took him by the hand and led him out of the cave they had been sleeping in. He took Meep and Mopp as well.

Lloyd, mercifully, noticed none of this. The combination of pain and sleep deprivation left him all but unresponsive. Zane shifted closer, taking a deep breath.

"All right," he said. "You will have to tell me exactly where it hurts."

Generating a small flurry of ice crystals around one hand, he pressed his cold fingertips against Lloyd's cheek and began to trace small circles along his lower jaw. Lloyd shifted, a little embarrassed, and eyed Zane sheepishly.

"It's all right," said Zane. "Does this help?"

"Mmhm."

"Try to relax. It will go better," said Zane. Lloyd closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out through his nose.

"Am I circling exactly around the damaged tooth right now?" murmured Zane.

"Yeah."

"Good. Is the gum becoming numb and cold?"

"Mhmmm," said Lloyd, his eyes still closed. "It's helping."

"Good," said Zane again. "Hold still . . . "

He drew back his hand and, with one sharp, precise blow, knocked Lloyd's tooth out.

Lloyd's eyes snapped open. For a second he stared up at Zane, not moving, not even breathing.

"I'm sorry," said Zane quietly. "I thought it would be better if you did not expect it."

Lloyd stared up at him a moment longer. Finally he blinked, drew in a shuddery breath, and silently reached up to his mouth to pull out the extracted tooth, dripping blood and saliva. He didn't look Zane's way again.

"You were no longer able to function well," said Zane uneasily. "The only way to fix it was to remove the damaged tooth. I heard somewhere that pain was worse if you were expecting it . . . and I thought the ice might act as an anesthetic . . . and I worried you might not be willing if you knew what I would do . . . "

"I understand," said Lloyd.

"I didn't want to hurt you, but it was our only option. Are . . . you angry with me?"

Lloyd opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"A—a little. I . . . mostly I'm just kinda . . . startled."

"I'm sorry," said Zane again.

"I'll get over it."

A pained silence. Lloyd wiped the extracted tooth on his sleeve and slipped it into his pocket. Zane fidgeted. At last he pulled a small ice cube into existence between his fingers and held it out to Lloyd, his eyes hopeful. Lloyd hesitated, but at last took the proffered ice and slipped it over his still-bleeding gum. He sucked it glumly for a moment, trying to ignore the sour metallic taste still oozing into his mouth.

At last he heaved a sigh and managed to give Zane a faint but real smile.

"It's getting better. Thanks."

* * *

A short while later Jay returned with his small entourage, looking a little sick. Jay, not the entourage. The entourage was fine.

"This kid could wipe out the entire rat population in a week," said Jay glumly. He looked to Lloyd, still a little pale and rattled, and leaned over to ruffle his hair.

"Over with, huh?" he said.

"You knew? So I was the only one out of the loop," said Lloyd with a rueful smile.

"He took it very well," said Zane, still looking a little guilty.

"What's goin' on here?" Junior cocked one eye at the assemblage suspiciously. "Unca Jay was actin' weird the _whole time_. You grown-ups are hidin' stuff!"

"Man, he's hard to snow," sighed Jay.

"Had to have a tooth taken out, June," said Lloyd. "It was giving me a toothache."

"You took it right outta your mouth?" Junior's eyes went wide. "Let me _see!_ "

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Lloyd let Junior peer into his mouth at the gap where his molar used to be.

"Can't you open your mouth any further?" asked Junior.

"Uh, no. We humans don't really do that whole expanding-jaw thing."

"Ohhhhh." Junior patted Lloyd's shoulder, looking sympathetic. "That's okay, Unca Lloyd. I still think you're cool."

"Uhhh . . . thanks?" said Lloyd amusedly. He glanced up, looking like he was going to say something. Then he fell sharply silent. Jay watched as something died in his eyes; apparently he'd been about to ask Kai what he knew about expandable jaws.

"We should get going," said Jay hastily, hoping to break Lloyd from that particular train of thought. "We're all pretty well-rested, right?"

They began to walk again. Lloyd was functioning much better now that he was pain-free; Jay wished he could say the same for himself. Although his throat had improved vastly, his head was still cloudy and his limbs were still a bit . . . off.

There was also a weird painful itching in his nose. He kept rubbing at it and trying to breathe it away, but it only intensified. At last he started sneezing.

"Gesundheit," said Zane. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, thanks," said Jay, sniffing. "It must be dusty or—or—ha- _choo!_ "

The others jumped as Jay suddenly lit up in a flash of electricity. Blue lightning bolts sizzled briefly from his clothes; a few of them passed through Mopp, but luckily the alien seemed as immune to lightning as Meep was. He only warbled curiously, clambering slightly out of Jay's hood to see what had just happened.

"Wh-what was _that?_ " asked Lloyd.

"Man, I don't know." Jay sniffed again, rubbing his itchy nose with his sleeve. "Iiiiiiii think I'm coming down with something. I've never sneezed electricity before, though. That's weird."

"It must be these mines," said Lloyd sympathetically. "There must be all kinds of weird bugs down here."

"Great," sighed Jay. "Got anything you could knock out to cure _that_ , Zane?"

"I am afraid not," said Zane. "We will simply have to get out of here as soon as possible so you can get home and rest."

"Rest," snorted Jay. They all knew that nobody was going to do anything like resting till they knew for sure what happened to Cole and Kai.

"Human teeth are weird," announced Junior. He had been asking so many questions about Lloyd's improvised oral surgery that Lloyd had simply given him the extracted tooth to examine as they walked. "Do you always have shiny stuff inside them?"

"That's probably spit," said Lloyd, smiling wearily.

"Uh-uh. It's metal!"

"Metal?" Lloyd tilted his head. "I don't think I ever had fillings . . . "

He took the tooth from Junior and examined it. His eyebrows shot up.

"You _guys_. What the heck is _this?!_ "

Jay leaned closer to squint at the distinctive glint of metal shining through the bone. His mouth went dry.

"That," he said, his voice thin, "is a radio transmitter."

For a second they all stared at each other in frozen silence.

"They know where we are . . . " whispered Lloyd.

Jay didn't stop to think. He knocked the tooth from Lloyd's hand, grabbed him by the arm, and ran.

* * *

 _Yo, Cap;_

 _Good news. The tracker signal stopped moving hours ago and isn't looking like it's gonna restart. I'm still keeping some of my crew watching it, just in case the brats are just taking a snooze or something, but it looks like they've finally snuffed it. Took them long enough, amirite?_

 _-Blue_

* * *

 _Hi Blue;_

 _Thanks for the heads-up. I'm glad it's over with. We have enough to worry about as it is._

 _Don't tell Silica. You know how she gets._

 _-Cap_

* * *

 _Yeah, yeah, whatever. You two are disgusting, you know that? What did you_ think _you hired me to do? Knit sweaters for orphans?_

 _-Blue_

* * *

 _Keep your mouth shut. You want to get booted from this project? Silica's already antsy about your methods, and without the ninja constantly breathing down our necks anymore, she's going to start thinking we don't need you. If she finds out you killed them against her orders, you'll be kicked out of here so fast your head will spin._

* * *

 _Don't you threaten me, CapsLock. This was just as much your idea as mine._

 _Besides._

 _I make the threats around here._

* * *

 **A/N: Egh, I'm gonna just go ahead and say it; Jay's kind've a wuss. But he does his best to keep it together and pull his own weight, and you've gotta give him props for that. They're all going a little loopy down in these tunnels by now . . .**

 **Apologies to Brian Jacques again, for the theft from _The Legend of Luke._ I warned you folks about that amateur surgery! Poor Lloydfish.**

 **And snakes do yawn, apparently. I've got a link to a gif on my profile, if y'wanna see one. I originally found it through Skylark Starflower's blog, so thanks!**


	45. Run Away! Run Away!

**WOOOOHOOOO! Past 500 reviews! Oh my gosh, you guys. :'3**

 **Thank you so much to everyone, as always! It's so sweet of you to take the time to tell me what you think. I love reading every one of your comments, and I hope you're still having as much fun as I am with this.  
**

 **So, remember how I mentioned doing something special to thank you guys if this story reached 500? Well, the time has come! I'm gonna hold an open ask/request session on this chapter. You can ask a question, request a one-shot, or both! (Or, I mean, you can do none of them too. If that's what you really want. :P)**

 **Only a few rules to this!**

 **For questions:**

*You can ask as many questions as you want, to me or to any characters in the story.

*Any topic you like!

*Only I may not answer if it's inappropriate/involves spoilers.

 **For one-shot requests:**

*No OCs. Sorry.

*Only one request per person. Any topic you want; they don't have to be set within this story, but they can be.

*I'm capping the limit at five one-shots total. I may go beyond that, but right now I don't think I could handle much more than five.

*One-shots will be posted as chapters in FMW's companion fic, "Backstage with Jay." Depending on the volume of questions I get, I might also answer them in "Backstage with Jay," or I might just put them as an author's note in the next chapter here.

 **All righty! Ask away. Hope you guys have fun! ^_^**

 **Ooh, and for the finishing touch, I will festoon this chapter with a festive garland:**

 **~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o** **~o~**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Doing what I can! Doing what I can.**

 **Elveron294: Woah. Are you by any chance a Lloydfish? Because if you're not, I think the Lloydfish's unparalleled savagery may've just been paralleled. That's harsh, man. But no, sorry, no ghosties due to appear in this story. Although I'd agree that they really gave Cole some nice development after the whole ghosty thing went down. And sure, no problem! I would've commented directly on it, but I don't have an account. ^_^''**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Yep! Zane's a pretty cold operator, when he needs to be. No pun intended.**

 **Ninja Pony: Woah, woah, woah there! You prolly don't want to just give your email address out where anyone can see it. All kinds of creepy folks might find it. :S Anyways, we'll see about Kai and Cole. Heh, does your brother read this story too? As to Jay, who knows what that poor sap's caught now! We'll see about him too.**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Nuh-uh.**

 **Status conditions: Kai and Cole MIA, Jay with infected wound and contracting a cold, Lloyd short one molar, Zane with light external damage and a missing eye.**

* * *

"Holy . . . crud," said Jay breathlessly. "They knew _all along_."

Admittedly they had all lost their heads a little. There was probably no _immediate_ danger just because they'd realized their every move was being followed; no more danger than they'd been in all along, anyway. But they had put an awful lot of distance between themselves and that tracking device before they dared stop to catch their breaths.

"I can't believe this," moaned Lloyd, his head in his hands. "All this time! They must have stuck it into my tooth while I was drugged at Snow Dragon Ice Cream. Now they know where the _Bounty_ is! Everything! Oh my gosh . . . "

"No, not the _Bounty_ ," said Zane. "I think that is safe."

The others looked to him immediately, hungry for some hope to cling to.

"They did install the tracker while you were in Snow Dragon, Lloyd," said Zane. "But they probably had to set it in place with ceramic or some other filling material. Because they had to wait for the filling to set, they could not immediately activate the tracker."

"Activate!" Jay's eyes lit up. "That's what Nash meant when we heard him talking about activation in Snow Dragon! He was going to turn on the tracker!"

"But he never got the chance to," agreed Zane, "because Lloyd had already escaped. The tracker has stayed in your tooth ever since then, Lloyd, but it was dormant and presumably harmless."

"And that's why all the Technicians have been trying to hit me in the mouth!" said Lloyd, looking utterly blown away. "They must have all gotten a memo that I was still running around with a dud tracker in my mouth, and somebody had better switch it on."

"I guess that last Technician who hit you with a knife finally succeeded," said Zane. "The vibrations of the working tracker must have caused the pain."

"Gosh." Lloyd massaged his eyelids wearily. "This is crazy."

They sat in tired silence for a while, letting the bizarre news sink in. Jay sneezed again and sniffled. That run hadn't done his dripping sinuses any favors.

"Man," he sighed, petting Meep's head absent-mindedly. "And here we were all excited that the Technicians would think we were dead after that first cave-in. They must have known that we survived when they saw the tracker still moving around."

"Wait." Lloyd stiffened. "If they knew where we were . . . that second cave-in . . . Could they have . . . "

Jay went cold. That couldn't have been Lloyd's fault. It couldn't have. He scrabbled for some way to disprove the idea, watching as horror dawned in Lloyd's eyes. Before things could really deteriorate, however, Zane suddenly twitched.

"I hear something," he said sharply.

The Technicians. They were down here looking for them. Everyone scrambled to their feet, tense and on the alert.

"Where's it coming from?" asked Jay lowly. "Which way?"

Zane nodded farther down the tunnel. Jay set his teeth. He really wished Cole were here right now to organize the upcoming madness. Lloyd opened his mouth to take charge, but Jay preempted him.

"Okay, everyone be quiet," he said. "We'll approach them silently. Maybe we can take them by surprise. Zane, tell us how far away they are when you can get an estimate. Lloyd, you keep Junior safe. If worst comes to worst, fall back and let us handle it."

Lloyd looked unhappy with this arrangement, but there was no time to argue. The distant voices had passed the range of Zane's keen senses and into the feebler range of human hearing. Hands on weapons, Junior on Lloyd's back, they stepped silently down the tunnels to meet their adversaries.

Jay's heart pounded. He'd never led a charge before. He didn't like this responsibility. What if he gave the wrong order? What if someone got hurt? He wasn't sure how many more disasters they could take.

They soon entered knee-deep water, both a blessing and a curse: it meant their footfalls no longer made any sound, but they did have to worry about not sloshing every time they took a step. Luckily Sensei Wu had taught them all how to walk through water with barely a ripple.

The voices grew nearer. They appeared to be singing, and a very sinister, dark-sounding song at that. Zane had an odd expression on his face, but Jay had no way to question him about it.

They rounded a bend. Up ahead they saw a flickering flame, lighting what appeared to be a small raft. Kai and Cole were perched atop it, attempting to move along through some regrettable combination of rowing and punting. The song was supposed to be keeping time.

"YOU GUYS!"

Within five seconds the raft was overturned and everyone was tangled up in a chaotic waterlogged hug. Junior and the aliens were having a field day, squealing and boinging around and plastering themselves joyously to anyone who came handy.

"You're alive! Oh my gosh!"

"Zane, your eye—"

"Lloyd, you have more hair. Holy cow, I swear you have more hair. HOW do you have more hair?!"

"Ow, you're crushing me—"

" _EeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeee!_ "

Jay, feeling his nose itching, wriggled his way out of the chaos and tumbled back. He sneezed, sending up another shower of sparks, and blinked a little dazedly. Weird sensation. Then he hastily shook his head clear and got up to rejoin the madness. He needed as much assurance as he could get that all his brothers were alive and safe.

"I can't believe it," said Lloyd giddily. "Oh my gosh, when the ceiling—where you were standing, I was sure—"

" _You_ were sure?!" Cole disentangled himself just enough to take Lloyd by the shoulders. "What do you think _I_ was thinking? I push you forward, the first rock falls in, we're standing there perfectly safe on the other side, and we just hear rocks collapsing for miles and miles and miles beyond that." He shook Lloyd none too gently. " _I thought I'd killed you!_ "

"I thought I'd killed _you_ ," laughed Lloyd shakily.

"Nahhh, come on. You guys keep saying not to leave you. I do as I'm told." Cole finally let go of Lloyd for a minute, then changed his mind and dragged him back. "Arrrgh, kiddo. Do you know what could have _happened?_ Complete Lloydfish extinction, that's what! Calamity! Ecological collapse! A world without Lloydfish!"

"Cole, I can't _breathe_." Lloyd squirmed. "Can somebody help me out here?"

"I think you will be fine," said Zane blandly.

"Ugh. Cole, you better squish him next," said Lloyd over his shoulder.

Jay chuckled, glad to see that Lloyd was back to his old self. He nudged Kai's arm.

"I should've known you'd be okay," he said teasingly. "You're not going anywhere until Lloyd and I manage to prank you."

"Awesome!" said Kai. "I've achieved immortality."

"Now you're just asking for it!"

Kai only laughed, punching Jay's shoulder lightly.

"Whereja get the cool raft?" piped Junior, clambering up on the rickety construct and bouncing it up and down.

"Ah, my stupid leg gave out totally," said Kai, lifting one foot out of the water. "I couldn't walk, so when we found an old minecart, we tore it up and cobbled this together. We figured traveling the flooded tunnels was better than no traveling at all."

"Yeah, and by the way." Cole finally released a somewhat squished Lloyd and settled back on the raft, pointing accusatorily at Kai. "Don't be nice to him, guys. He has been _impossible_ to live with."

"Come onnnnn, I wasn't that bad."

"Yes you were!"

"Well, I didn't know you were worried about Lloyd and stuff," said Kai. "I'd have been nicer."

"Like heck you would've," grumbled Cole. "You were ready to bite my head off because I _existed._ If you'd known I pushed him, you would have killed me!"

"That bad?" Jay laughed.

"Worse!" Cole threw up his hands. "Just snarling and brooding, snapping at everything I say, going along in one long nonstop growling fit. So help me. I can _not_ remember the last time I met someone this desperately in need of a banana cream pie to the face."

"Oh, shush," huffed Kai, looking thoroughly mortified as the others laughed.

"Hey, once we get out of here, we'll see if we can't do something about that for you," joked Lloyd.

"You do that. Do whatever. I'm done with this guy."

"Okay, okay." Kai folded his arms. "Hilarious. Now how about we get moving, huh? We're not gonna find a way out just sitting around here."

"I wanna ride on the raft!" announced Junior, giving the creaking craft another bounce.

"You and Kai the Grouch, then," said Cole. "I don't think it'll hold more than that."

They fastened a few of their belts to the front of the raft to serve as pull strings so they could tow it more quickly through the water. Kai paddled staunchly from one side, and Junior flailed an oar with unnecessary enthusiasm on the other. Meep and Mopp pushed from the back. Altogether, they achieved quite a crackling pace. They'd have gone even faster if there wasn't still so much roughhousing going on.

Once the water ran out, Jay stepped over to help support Kai off his injured foot. There was no need for discussion; they knew Jay's stride was the most similar to Kai's and would make for the smoothest walk. Being a ninja meant you knew stupid stuff like that.

"I still can't believe you guys are okay," said Cole, nudging into Zane affectionately. "And that we found each other in all those miles of tunnels!"

"The odds were at least one in six thousand five hundred," agreed Zane. "We were very fortunate, especially since we do not have our communicators."

Kai gave a snort.

"Ah, we should've just called Jay's ship Tinkertoys again. He'd have found us."

"Somewhere miles away, Jay snaps to attention," snickered Lloyd. "'Oh no! My blasphemy sense is tingling!'"

"Funny, guys, funny," deadpanned Jay. He sneezed, generating a burst of crackling lightning tendrils. Kai yelped.

"Sorry," sniffled Jay. "Weird cold."

"You have a cold? Where did that come from?" said Cole.

"Hmmm, well now, let me see," said Jay, adjusting Kai's arm over his shoulder. "Over the past few weeks I fell into an ice-water creek, got shoved into a giant freezer, flew too high on my dragon and nearly got frostbite, spent days wandering around in weird water and cold breezes, and throughout all of this I have not been getting enough sleep." He rolled his eyes. "Now where in the _world_ could I have picked up a cold?"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point," said Kai. He flinched as Jay sneezed again, although luckily this time without electricity.

"Uhhhh . . . can I walk with somebody else?"

"Probably a good idea," said Cole. "Electricity's bad enough. FSM forbid _you_ catch this kind of cold."

Lloyd took Jay's place. Jay switched to using his other sleeve. His hoodie was getting to be in rather a miserable state, but it's not like he had any alternatives.

"'ey, Zaptrap." Cole gave him a smile as he shifted towards the front of the group. He lowered his voice. "How's your head?"

"My head? I didn't hit my head."

"No, I mean—" Cole tapped surreptitiously at his temple. "Do you still have all your marbles?"

"Oh." Jay chuckled. "Yeah, sure. I think I even gained a few."

"Really? You were freaking out just at the _thought_ of the roof falling in, I was sure if it actually happened . . . "

"Hmph. Ye of little faith." Jay puffed up his chest, feeling rather pleased with himself. "I pull through when I hafta."

"I guess you do." Cole shook his head ruefully. "I mean, even I got a little freaked out by the cave-in. It was really weird—it felt just like another explosion, but that's impossible! How would an explosion get down here?"

"Uhhh . . . welllllll . . . " Jay glanced back to Lloyd. "About that."

* * *

They explained about Snow Dragon and Lloyd's implanted tracker. Kai was surprised—he said stuff that advanced and subtle was definitely not Nash's style—but Cole was relieved to finally sync reality with the gut feeling he'd had.

"If they knew where we were, that'd explain everything," he said. "Geez! These guys _really_ want us dead. Coming all the way down here just to blow in the tunnel roof—" His eyes went wide. "Waaaaaaait. How _did_ they get down here? The roof blew in from overhead . . . "

Jay started, his heart leaping as he realized the same thing.

"So there must be Technician territory right _over_ the tunnel that fell in!" he blurted.

"And the explosion probably opened a gap between those two tunnels! We can get out!"

"Ha!" Jay whooped, darting ahead of the others eagerly. "The creeps did us a favor! What are we waiting for?"

"Where do you think you're going?" Cole called after the already retreating ninja. "Even I've been getting confused down here!"

"No problem!" Jay shouted back. "Lemme tell you, Meep and Mopp are _super_ useful. We just have to find the last ink marker and follow them backwards, come on!"

"Hey, wait for us," protested Lloyd. "Kai can't go that fast!"

The others slowed down, while Kai grumbled indignantly at being pegged as the reason for slow progress.

"Oh, stop fizzing," said Lloyd, giving him an exasperated smile. "So you got injured and you have to take it slow, big deal. Happens to all of us now and then."

"See?" said Cole. "Even now he's a grouch. It's become a way of life for him."

Kai only huffed, although there was a hint of a smile on his face too.

"What's not to be grouchy about?" he said. "We're about to go sailing into Technician territory, probably gonna fight a lot of those friendly slobber guys who keep blowing the roof in on us, and on top of that, we're a _wreck_."

"Well . . . I have to admit, I didn't picture our attack quite like this," sighed Cole, looking around. "Babysitting two aliens and a kid, all of us underfed and tired, Zane's missing an eye, Lloyd's missing a tooth, I can't use my weapon hand, you're lame, Jay's sick . . . "

Jay gave a muffled snort. Cole raised an eyebrow.

"What, you think it's funny?"

"No," mumbled Jay, struggling to look sober. "Nah, I get it. I'm scared stiff." He gave another snort of laughter. "Kai's lame, huh?"

"Ohh." Cole's mouth twitched. He and Jay quickly looked in opposite directions, knowing that if they made eye contact they would start to laugh. Considering Kai's condition, that would be kind of mean.

"Excuse you," said Kai, taking on the joke himself. "I am _not_ lame. I happen to be the greatest."

A chorus of protesting groans.

"Hey, don't get snippy about it," Kai deadpanned. "I know you're jealous and all, but it's not my fault that not everyone can be me."

More groans.

"I'll drop you!" threatened Lloyd.

"You wouldn't dare."

"You wanna bet?" Lloyd tightened his hold reassuringly, but gave the fire ninja a teasing smile.

"Oh, he's serious," said Kai, pretending to be worried. "Junior, you'll have to save me."

"I'll catch you, Unca Kai!" said Junior staunchly, darting to Kai's other side and attempting to hold him up.

"Thanks, Junior. Now I feel much safer."

"Seriously? You trust a kid over me? Okay, we are _definitely_ following through on that banana-cream pie thing."

Jay chuckled softly, listening to his teammates bantering. Now that they were back together, the misery of the last few hours seemed far away, already melting from their memories. He would never have believed that he could relax in these tunnels. At best he would have expected an unstable quasi-positive state of mostly-ignoring-his-anxiety, and what with the grim outlook for the future they'd just been discussing, probably more of a full-out panic mode.

But right now? He was just happy. Plain and simple.

* * *

 **~o~o~o~o~o~o** **~o~**

 **~o~o~o** **~o~**

 **~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o** **~o~**

 **Ergh, sorry. Got a bit of that festive garland tangled up in the wrong author's note.**

 **Well, this marks the official death of one subplot. I was vacillating between keeping it and dropping it, and several chapters ago I decided to keep it, but now I've again decided to drop it, so it'll have to stay unresolved. Sorry Cole, you'll have to live with your anxieties. Welcome to the real world, buddy.**

 **Also, I've been writing this story for more than a year by now. When I first started writing, the date at the top of the chapter was _accurate;_ just now on the 16th, it was briefly accurate again. Yikes. A whole year for these guys to make it halfway through September. XD**

 **Looking forward to seeing your questions/requests, guys! Have fun. :)**


	46. Do You Even Lift?

**Awright, you guys! Thanks for sending in your awesome questions and requests. The questions were really fun to answer! And the requests are already in progress and will soon be following. Both of them are going to go in "Backstage with Jay," to avoid making this chapter crazy long and awkward to read. Head on over to BwJ and check 'em out if you like! ^_^**

 **Angel Star Ninja: That they are! Thanks for the review.**

 **greenninjaisbae: Well, we'll have to see! He's gonna have plenty on his mind.**

 **Elveron294: Cool questions! They'll be answered in "Backstage with Jay," and the one-shot will appear there too. Ech, yeah, was kinda thrown off by the cannibalism bit . . . Lloydfish can always grow more hair, though. They have infinite hair capabilities.**

 **Ninja Pony: Oh, I didn't mind! I was just worried about your safety. You'd be surprised how many people do read the reviews! Many many many. And of course if there are creepy people reading them, they're not just gonna announce it. They're gonna sneak. Good for you for reading! Great stuff. :) Yeah, I know quite a few folks who are guests because their parents don't want them to have an account. Gotta respect them for listening.**

 **mangamaker314: Neat questions! Answered in "Backstage with Jay." :)**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Let's not get ahead of ourselves**

 **Status conditions: Jay with infected wound and cold, Zane with light external damage and missing eye, Cole lightly wounded, Kai extremely lame**

* * *

Soon enough they found themselves at the far side of the cave-in, where Jay and the others had ended up. The tunnel was thick with the piercing smell of vomit, and Jay kept his head down in embarrassment. He was glad nobody said anything.

"Was one of you buried?" asked Cole, observing the disturbed rocks. Then he looked back to Zane. "Rrrrrright, stupid question. Gosh Zane."

"I was fortunate to almost make it to the very end," said Zane soberly. "If I had been buried earlier on, it would have been permanent."

"Just more amazing luck," admitted Cole, giving the Nindroid a quick side-hug. Jay stifled a chuckle as he watched Zane's eyes go distant, evidently logging another example for the hug database. At the rate he was collecting reasons to glomp people, things were going to get awkward real fast.

Meanwhile Cole began to examine the rockslide near its top.

"Are you sure you're not going to cause another cave-in?" said Lloyd, as Cole began to pull rocks away.

"Nah. The roof here is pretty stable," said Cole. "The parts that did collapse probably needed the direct force of an explosion to bring them down." His arm was buried up to the shoulder in rubble by now; presently he blinked and fished something out. "See? Told you."

"Whassat?" asked Junior, snaking his way up the rubble pile to squint at the small red object Cole held out. "Oooooh. It smells bitter!"

"That's nitroglycerin, Junior," said Cole. "This is the butt end of an explosive."

"Ooooooh." Junior backed away respectfully.

"C'mon guys, like I said, it's stable," said Cole. "It doesn't take an earth master to dig here."

The others clambered up to join him, except Zane, who stayed behind to support Kai. For a while they just kept pulling away rubble and finding ceiling over it; eventually, though, Lloyd felt for the ceiling and found nothing.

"I've got the edge!" he called excitedly, and everyone began digging with renewed vigor. The air bursting in from the tunnel above them was slightly cooler and smelled much drier. Jay wondered if he was developing earth powers of his own, to be able to tell such things apart.

"Here we go," said Cole cheerfully, scraping aside the last armload of rock. "We should be able to climb through that."

They carefully helped Kai to the top of the rubble heap, and one by one they scrabbled their way up through the hole in the ceiling, climbing onto the floor in the tunnel above.

"Nice place," said Kai jokingly, panting. It looked like his leg hurt pretty bad from all the stunts he was performing, but he didn't say anything. "Big change of scenery."

"I think this is still the mine," said Cole disappointedly, studying the walls. "It's definitely not metal-plated like the first Technician tunnel was."

"Well, somebody somehow got in here and planted a bunch of explosives," said Lloyd. "If they got in, there's got to be a way out."

"Probably on the _other_ side of all that collapsed rock," said Kai, looking over the half-mile stretch of sunken rubble. "I bet we're on the dead-end side."

"Well, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine," said Jay.

"You see? He's been like this _all the time_ ," said Cole. "And worse. Wayyyyy worse. Way, way, way worse."

"Geez, I said I was sorry, okay?"

"No you didn't."

"Oh." Kai considered, then shrugged. "Well, I'm not gonna."

"So much worse," grumbled Cole.

They set out in the opposite direction, away from the collapse. It only took a few minutes' walk (and that at Kai's pace) before they found themselves stepping into a large chamber. Dilapidated minecarts loomed on every side, shunted together in disorganized lines.

"Welllll," said Cole. "This looks promising."

"A shaft! There's a shaft!" whooped Jay.

Sure enough, a long vertical tunnel gaped above them, the lower reaches glowing faintly in the green energy-light Lloyd held.

"Think we can fly up that?" said Kai dubiously. "It looks kind of narrow for a dragon."

"Only one way to find out!" Cole generated his earth dragon, keeping it as compact as he could, and flopped his way up towards the shaft.

" _What is that?!_ " screeched Junior, diving at Lloyd for protection.

"It's just one of our dragons, silly," said Lloyd, patting his back. "We each have our own, and we can call on it whenever we want as long as we're focused and not scared. Pretty cool, huh?"

"It's so bright . . . " whispered Junior, cautiously squinting at the dragon with one eye.

Meanwhile Cole approached the shaft and attempted to slot his dragon into it. Immediately its wings struck rock on either side. The others flinched, knowing that the misty wingtips of a dragon were very unpleasant to touch against anything. It was an extension of your soul, after all.

Cole kept flapping doggedly. He already had to beat his wings doubletime, struggling to keep a near-vertical flight path—he ricocheted from one side of the shaft to the other—his dragon's feet met the wall, scrabbling furiously—then he lost control entirely and fell. Jay hastily summoned his own dragon and lofted slightly off the floor to break his fall, but somehow he couldn't seem to control his ride properly today. The second he caught Cole, the dragon flickered and vanished under the extra weight, sending them both tumbling into Zane.

"Oww." Jay squirmed, having been elbowed by a metal elbow on the way down. "Sorry . . . I think the cold is messing with my dragon."

"Hey, still better than a straight fall." Cole disentangled himself from the pileup and sighed. "Well, so dragons are out. Now what?"

An anxious silence.

"There'd better be _some_ way," said Kai. "Don't tell me we got this far just to sit around at the bottom of a shaft!"

"I am not sure if this helps," said Zane mildly, sitting up and transferring Jay off himself. "But there is an elevator."

Sure enough, a long toothed track was attached to the wall, stretching far up the shaft. Lloyd held his light closer to the base, revealing a small combination of metal and wood, almost like a scaffolding with internal machinery. It was homely enough to miss easily, but it was definitely an old-fashioned elevator.

"Well!" Jay sat up and threw out his arms in greeting. "Hellooooo, beautiful!"

Cole snorted.

"Your love life just gets weirder and weirder, Jay."

* * *

The elevator was not functioning. Jay pulled the lever and kicked the engine a few times, but nothing happened.

"Figures," he grumbled. "The elevator's _here_ , but the Technicians _aren't_. They must have their own elevator installed on the same track."

"And now it's way up there?" Cole craned his neck to peer up the shaft. "Well shucks."

"Eh, I bet I can summon it down," said Jay breezily. He stepped over to examine the toothed elevator track more closely. "Eeeeyup! They have a modern electric cable installed behind the old mechanical track. It works like one of those cable cars that draws power from a wire above it. Let's see, here's the down cable, this is the up cable, that's a grounding wire, that's a fuse—"

Abruptly a massive arc of electricity shot from the two cables Jay was holding, buzzing furiously and coating the lightning ninja momentarily in a fluorescent blue glow. The others barely had time to panic before there was a sharp _pow!_ and the electrical current vanished.

". . . And _that_ is about two thousand volts." Jay opened his eyes, stirred gingerly, and gave the others a pained grin. "I'm okay. I think I blew out the electric elevator, though . . . " He dropped the smoking cables, sending up eddies of leftover electricity, and spat on his hands. "Hoo. That's gonna leave a mark."

"Well great. Now what do we do?" asked Kai.

"Ugh. I guess I'll just fix the old-fashioned one," said Jay. "This sucker looks to be hydraulic, and I think there's still some pressure in the tanks. I just need to get the engine turning."

"Without any tools?"

Jay hesitated, studying the rusty old mechanism ensconced under a rickety old platform. Normally he'd say it was impossible, even _with_ tools, but right now fixing the old elevator seemed like their only remaining option.

Besides, he'd started developing a taste for confidence down here.

"Sure," he said, squaring his shoulders. "Gimme an hour."

* * *

It took more than an hour. Jay worked doggedly away, diagnosing and repairing, using his shurikens as screwdrivers and the handle of Cole's scythe as a hammer. The others hung about, swapping stories and sparring half-heartedly. The few(?) days they had spent down here without training were already enough to throw them out of form.

"Nope, nope, don't look at your feet," said Kai firmly. He was in no condition to spar himself, so he was currently propped on one knee teaching Junior the basics. "Eyes up here, kiddo. You need to watch your enemy all the time."

Junior hissed combatively, hopping in semicircles around the fire ninja as he tried to find an opening.

"Immuna bite you!" he warned.

"You'll have to get to me first." Kai lightly blocked one of Junior's fists, grinning. Junior gave an impatient _rawr!_ and dove; throwing him a bone, Kai dropped back onto his elbows.

"I win!" exulted Junior, and began to worry at Kai's hair savagely.

"Ohh, going for the hair was a mistake," said Kai. Levering himself back up, he hoisted Junior off his chest and flipped him upside-down gently, earning a shriek from the snakelet.

"Ah, ah!" Kai turned him back upright and set him down with a stern look. "No screaming. You never scream unless you're actually in danger, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because if people scream when they're not in trouble, people who are supposed to protect them—like us—can't tell what to do when we hear screaming," said Kai. "Either we're always going to answer false alarms because some kid stole his sister's hair band, or we start ignoring screaming and miss someone who's getting robbed. You know?"

"Ohhhh." Junior looked sober. Jay glanced over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. He would not have expected Kai to be that good about explaining the issue; usually nothing got him frosted faster than kids screaming over nothing.

"Hey, cheer up." Kai chucked the snakelet under the chin lightly. "I think that's enough sparring for now. You want to see another dragon?"

"Yeah!"

A familiar reddish flash lit up the machinery as Jay worked, accompanied by a roar and a scrabble of wings and clawed feet.

"It's really here!" marveled Junior, perching cautiously on the dragon's glowing back. "What's it made of?"

"Good question, actually." Kai settled back, letting the dragon's wings flex lazily. "Never really looked into it."

Meanwhile Jay whacked at a bolt, sneezing. Honestly he had no idea what he was doing and if he was making matters better or worse, but he kept poking gamely away just the same.

Presently he nudged two gears together, and something suddenly felt _right_. Just . . . the way everything fit together, something was good about it. He'd had this feeling before sometimes, and it was rarely wrong.

Cautiously he pulled the elevator's start lever. There was a metallic wail and howl, and the gears began to jolt before Jay's eyes. Yelping with excitement, he shoved straight a few misaligned pieces before they could jam the mechanism. A screech, a shudder, a ponderous rumble, and suddenly the elevator platform began to rise.

"I got it! I GOT IT!" Jay yelled, waving his arms. "Get on get on get on! I can't stop it now, it might not restart!"

The others had all snapped into alert mode as soon as the noise started; now they hurried to hop aboard, grabbing weapons and helping Kai and Junior up. It took them only about five seconds to pile on.

It took about ten seconds for the platform to rise three feet off the floor.

"Reallll exciting," said Kai after a moment. Jay chuckled awkwardly as the others' gazes turned to him.

"Ahh, heh . . . thought it would go a little bit faster."

He blushed at the laughter that followed. Cole whapped his head gently and slid down to retrieve the canteen he'd left behind in the scramble. He had to jump a little and catch the others' hands to get back up, but he made it just fine.

"Why're we going so slowwwww?" asked Junior.

"Because we don't have elevator music," said Jay. He ducked as Cole attempted to whap him in the head again. "Fine, fine, geez. The hydraulic pressure tanks must be emptier than I thought, that's all. Sorry, but I can't make this thing go any faster."

"Well," sighed Cole, squinting up the long, dark length of the shaft above them. "It's gonna be a long trip."

Slowly but steadily they continued to ascend. The elevator creaked a lot and gave the occasional alarming _chooooosh!_ (which Jay assured the others was entirely normal), but most of the time it just made a steady _ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk_ sound as the motor's gears locked into the track, tooth by tooth. It was pretty soothing, really. Once you got past the feeling that you were just on the first stage of a rollercoaster.

It took them almost five minutes just to get up to the mouth of the shaft, and by then Junior was already asleep, tangled in a heap with Meep and Mopp. One by one the others started to yawn as well. Strictly speaking the platform wasn't really big enough for all of them to lie down on, especially since there were metal locks sticking up in the middle where miners used to bolt down minecart wheels. If the platform thought this would stop them, however, it was sadly mistaken.

Jay drifted in and out of sleep, keeping an ear on the engine. His cold seemed to have subsided a little, which was good because he didn't want to zap everyone on the elevator every other time he sneezed. He could hear the others' breaths in between the _ka-chunk, ka-chunk_ of the motor, and even though there was a strong, chilly downdraft brushing his cheeks, he was really quite warm on average. He sighed contentedly.

"You awake?" someone whispered. Jay rolled over and smiled when he saw Kai propped up on his elbows, Lloyd nestled firmly against his side. Kai smiled back, tilting his head at the sleeping ninja.

"Lookit this kid, would you? Mr. tough-cookie Golden-Ninja Ultimate-Spinjitzu-Master heck-no-I'm-more-epic-than-all-of-you-combined. Real scary." He ruffled Lloyd's hair, his eyes gentle. "I'm so gonna hold this over his head tomorrow."

Jay snorted quietly. More likely Kai wouldn't say a thing; he was just trying to save face right now by pretending he didn't absolutely love this.

"It's a good thing you two survived," he said. "I don't know what would have happened if you didn't. He was seriously out of it."

Kai looked up.

"Like that weird thing he did after Garmadon . . . ?"

"Yeah."

"Mm." Kai said nothing for a moment. "It's hard to watch, huh?"

"Lousy," said Jay with feeling. "He was trying to act normal, but he was having these creepy nightmares and talking weird in his sleep and everything."

He could've sworn Kai's eyes went wide for a second, but the fire ninja didn't say anything. He just shifted to a new position and glanced soberly at Lloyd, ruffling his hair again.

"Poor squirt," he said at last. "He has a weird way of dealing with crises."

After a moment he smiled wryly, seemingly shaking off the momentary dark mood.

"Not like _my_ methods are all that great, I guess. Be nice to Cole for a while, okay?"

"Wow. Were you really being that much of a pain in the butt?"

" . . . Maybe." Kai flicked his glance away, then glared playfully when Jay laughed. "Hey, I wasn't about to be in a good mood. My leg hurt like crazy and I was worried sick."

"Awww . . . " Jay was tempted to say something teasing, but he held his tongue, figuring he'd give Kai a break. He'd pretty much admitted just how much losing his brothers would mess him up. There was a moment's silence.

"That's where my problem is," said Kai quietly. "It's too easy to get to me."

"Too _easy?_ " Jay huffed. "If this is easy, what's the hard version?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't."

I can't afford to get freaked out like this." Kai looked at him as though it should be obvious. "That's what gives Nash's type power over you. Knowing that they can get to you by hurting people you . . . other people."

"So you're saying you _want_ to stop caring," said Jay, unimpressed.

"It puts people in danger!" Kai shook his head defensively. "Too many people. All of you guys. Nya. Sensei and Misako. Skylor . . . The more I worry, the more it makes everyone a target for Nash's crew."

Jay felt his stomach twist a little at the thought; at the memory of the flaming wreck of the DB Xpress. But he refused to give in to paranoia. Not this time.

"Well, sure," he drawled. "It'll be _really_ reassuring to go into battle with you knowing that you don't care if we live or die."

"I'd try keep you from _dying_ ," Kai retorted. "Just not . . . not in a personal way, you know? It's safer."

"Rrrrrrright. So all of this is your doing," said Jay. "You stop caring, and suddenly everyone is perfectly safe! It's not like _we're_ any threat to the Technicians ourselves, it's not like they want _all_ of us out of the way. They're just totally focused on freaking _you_ out _._ Heck, you're the only reason anyone does anything!"

"Uhh—" stammered Kai, thrown. Jay gave him an affectionate smirk.

"Get over yourself."

Kai stared for a moment. Then he broke into a smile.

"Well, when you put it that way . . . "

"It's not your fault, genius," said Jay. "You can stop worrying about us and the Technicians will still want to kill us. We're all in constant mortal peril anyway." He paused reflectively, then made a wry face. "Why am I so calm?"

Kai laughed.

"Thanks, Jay," he murmured. "Fair point."

"The only kind I know how to make." Jay felt absently for the limestone in his pocket for the hundredth time. It had gone back to giving him the warm-fuzzies again, now that the situation was less traumatic. The piece of rock was still safely there, a little damp, but uncrumbled. Every minute that the elevator kept rising, the time when he could present his gift to Nya kept getting closer.

Yawning, he glanced over to Kai, who was still propped up on his elbows.

"Aren't you gonna sleep?"

"Nah. We can't _all_ be snoozing when this thing rises up into a nest full of Technicians. I'll wake Zane up for a shift soon."

Mumbling approvingly, Jay nestled down and closed his eyes. Zane rolled against him a little, which he appreciated; the weird achy sensation of a cold makes you crave physical contact, and the Nindroid had apparently turned up his internal heat out of consideration for his teammates.

He made one final check on the motor and the limestone, then shut his eyes. He hoped there wouldn't be too many complications once they reached the top of this shaft.

* * *

 **A/N: Here we observe some of the Lloydfish's spectacular survival mechanisms. A hardy species, the Lloydfish frequently defends itself against predators with its unparalleled savagery; however, it is also known for its unique symbiosis with closely related fishes. Scientists have theorized that the Lloydfish's aggressive snuggling tendencies provide numerous health benefits both for it and its fellow fish.**

 **Hehe.** **Seriously though, I think we're finally getting out of this plot morass of a tunnel system. Onwards to other morasses! :D And don't forget to check out "Backstage with Jay" if you asked any questions on the last chapter or wanna see all the shenanigans from others' questions. :)**


	47. All Your Base Are Belong to Us

**Whoo! Still chuggin' along.** **The requested one-shots are tumbling into "Backstage with Jay," one by one, for them's that wants.**

 **By the way, I've decided to leave Chapter 45 open to questions forever** — **as long as it's 45 you review on to ask them. So if you're reading this like two years later and wanted to ask something, feel free!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: I know, right? It's a brutal way to travel. XD And Cole would have said no regardless of which song Kai suggested, just on a matter of principle. So yeah. :P The Pebble and the Penguin was a surprisingly good movie, tho! And I just realized Jay is totally being a penguin, trying to bring Nya the perfect rock. XD**

 **Elveron294: Thanks for all three reviews! Hehe; gotta have those status conditions anyway, may as well have fun with them. Cool! Looking forward to seeing it. "When Kai acted like an idiot," eh? You say that like there's only one time. :P Awww; I'll send Cole over with hugs ASAP. What sort of an authorfish should he be looking for? You one of those fancy purple ones?**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Thanks! Glad you're enjoying.**

* * *

 **Date unknown**

 **Time unknown**

 **Patrol circuit: Who's still asking?**

 **Status conditions: Jay with infected wound and cold, Zane with light external damage and missing eye, Cole lightly wounded, Kai extremely lame**

* * *

Jay was stirred awake by some commotion and excitement. He shook his head, slowly awakening.

"It's the top! We're at the top!" Lloyd was calling excitedly.

"Wh—what?!" Jay woke up a whole lot faster.

"Uhhh, Jay, wake up; we're still moving—how do you make this thing—oh no oh no OH NO—"

As Jay's brain rocketed into full consciousness, he realized that the elevator platform was tilting. One edge was lifting while the other stayed fixed, like the entire heavy construct was just a page in a book. He looked in the direction it was tilting and gasped. A black abyss yawned below them, and the elevator was about to flip over and dump them into it.

"Over there!" Lloyd yelped, pointing. On the other side, the direction the elevator was tilting _away_ from, was a large, safe-looking stone chamber. Lloyd swept up Junior and jumped for it. Jay tried to follow, but the floor was already tilting too much—he was sliding off—

Then the years of ninja training kicked in, and he hooked his knees over the rising edge of the elevator. Dangling upside-down, he felt his heart perform illegal maneuvers as the platform finally gave a furious creak and jolted to a halt, tilted a little farther than vertical over the mouth of the abyss. Kai and Cole had been clinging to the wheel-lock mechanisms for lack of anything else to grab onto, but when the elevator stopped, Kai lost his grip and plunged down into empty space.

"Gotcha!" gasped Cole, catching his hand in the nick of time. Kai stared down into the darkness swirling below his feet for a moment, visibly collecting himself. Eventually he looked up to Cole with a shaky grin.

"Do I owe you money or something?"

"Actually, I think I still owe _you_ a couple hundred ken." Cole managed a grin back.

"Woahhhhh woah woah woah now," said Kai, scrambling to regain his grip on the wheel-locks. Cole laughed, but winced a little as he flexed the hand he'd used to catch Kai. That had been the burned one.

"Sorry," murmured Kai. Cole raised an eyebrow.

"About time you got around to saying that."

Kai blinked for a moment, processing. Then he snorted and looked away to hide a smile.

"Lloyd!" Jay shouted meanwhile, still dangling upside-down. "Where is everybody?"

"I've got Zane, Junior, and Mopp!" Lloyd's voice was muffled by the elevator platform, which now stood between them. "Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, we're all here," Jay called back, shooing aside Meep. The alien seemed puzzled by the sight of an upside-down human. "I should have known this would happen; they must have used this elevator to get rid of junk rubble they dug up. They would lock minecarts to the platform, and when it got to the top, it would flip over like this and dump the rubble down this big hole."

"Well, how do we get it to flip back?" Lloyd called. "You'd be parked right next to the top floor if we could just get the platform to lie flat."

"What's holding it up?" said Jay, blinking irately. He could already feel blood draining to his head.

"There's, like . . . these two arm things. Like bicycle pumps, I guess?"

"Agck. Hydraulic lifts. Break 'em down!" called Jay.

There was the whir of a Spinjitzu funnel, and the entire elevator jolted. Everyone on the other side of the platform tightened his grip uneasily.

"But _gently!_ " shouted Cole.

"Break them gently?!"

"You're the Green Ninja, figure it out."

The elevator continued to jolt. Eventually it gave a particularly violent creak and sagged on one side, bouncing the ninja up and down dangerously. Jay gave a protesting growl as his head smacked against the elevator floor. Then something white slipped from his pocket and shot past his ear.

"No! The limestone!" he yelped, making a desperate grab. "No no nonoNO—"

Too late. The stone whisked just past his reach, bounced mockingly off the thin ledge beneath them, and ricocheted off into the darkness. Jay gave a plaintive groan, staring at the spot where it had vanished. Gone forever . . .

Cole and Kai exchanged a glance, then turned to Jay.

"Hey," said Kai gently. "Nya'll understand. She's good about stuff like that. And I'm sure you can find some limestone for her somewhere else."

Jay was silent for a moment, but at last he heaved a sigh.

"I . . . I guess so. It got me through these stupid mines. I guess it's done enough." He sighed again. "Still . . . that was special cave limestone. She'd have liked that better."

"Jay, c'mon, limestone seriously isn't . . . " Cole trailed off and shook his head resignedly, not wanting to add to the blue ninja's misery. Meanwhile Meep peered uneasily down into the dark depths, considering whether he should go after this small white object Jay was so depressed about losing. Then he evidently decided it was a bad bet, because he chirped dismissively and squirmed his way over the elevator platform to join Lloyd and the others.

A few seconds later Lloyd and Zane battered down the second hydraulic arm, and the elevator platform slammed back into an upright position. The trapped ninja loosened their grips and picked themselves up, groaning.

"Are you guys okay?" asked Lloyd anxiously.

"As much as we can be," said Cole, spitting on his injured hand. "Let's move."

"Do we have everyone?" Lloyd looked around. "Where's Mopp?"

"Meep's gone too!" said Jay anxiously.

They found the aliens only a few meters down the tunnel, conversing earnestly in chirps. Mopp was flopping along as best he could, while Meep nudged him as necessary and occasionally lifted him slightly over some rough bits.

"Where do you think you're going?" sighed Jay, scooping Mopp off the floor. "There might be Technicians around here!"

Mopp babbled indignantly and bonked at Jay's head with one bunched tentacle.

"Who taught you to use fists? Bad alien."

" _Churra churra weep!_ "

"Behave, squirt. Shhhh."

" _Eeeeeeee_ —"

"Shhhhhhh! You know what that means."

Mopp fell silent, looking peeved, and clambered grumpily into Jay's hood without another sound.

The top floor they had landed on seemed to be the early chambers of the Cooper mining complex. There were minecarts and mining tools and ore-separating machinery, all of it dilapidated. The ninja had not gone far, however, before Zane noticed a much-too-modern, sleek metallic door set into the humble rock.

"The dust around it is disturbed," he said, pointing to the floor. "It has recently been opened."

"Well, if this isn't where the Technicians came in, I don't know what is," said Cole.

They ran a quick check before proceeding. Junior was with them, and Lloyd had duly apprised him on the importance of staying quiet and nearby. The aliens were both accounted for, and also sworn to silence. Sadly, there was nowhere to hide them; goodness only knows what had happened to the ninjas' backpacks. The Technicians had probably taken them from where they'd been left in that first tunnel.

Everyone mentally entered alert mode as Cole pushed on the door. It wasn't locked. Nobody came roaring through it. Carefully Cole stepped through, looking both ways.

"It's metal-plated," he said. "Definitely another Technician tunnel. And nobody's here!"

"Let's get going before that changes," said Lloyd.

Nobody argued; right now, they'd have had difficulty taking down a squadron of mildly frustrated kittens. There was a faint air of regret as they picked a random direction and set off down the cool metal tunnel. It was supposed to have gone so much better than this.

Still, their spirits slowly picked up as the tunnel continued to slope upwards. Cole said there wasn't much earth above them at all. Jay could almost feel the outside world, maybe just a few dozen feet away.

Their surroundings changed too. The tunnel began to zigzag, interspersed with the occasional staircase. Getting Kai up these staircases proved laborious; soon he began to insist on just Spinjitzuing up each flight. This usually ended with him stumbling on the landing and pitching in various unsafe directions, trying to keep from placing weight on his bad leg. Once he rammed himself into the stair railing.

"Are you okay?" asked Lloyd, looking on with helpless frustration as Kai gripped the rail, trying to regain the breath he had knocked out of himself.

"Absolutely not," gasped Kai. "Never just—okay. Already told you I'm—the greatest."

Lloyd cast the others a resigned look, then stepped over to take Kai's arm over his shoulder again.

"You do know that stopped being funny before it even started."

"Who said I was being funny?" grunted Kai. Lloyd shook his head, but said nothing.

Eventually they reached a trapdoor. It was locked, guarded by an electronic keypad.

"Onnnne moment," said Jay, shooing the others aside. He squinted at the green backlit buttons for a moment, then ran his finger down one side of the keypad. He closed his eyes and bit his tongue in concentration as he tried to sense the tiny squiggles of energy locked behind the plastic, giving away the code to open the door. Somehow he couldn't seem to get a read on it.

"Moment more," he mumbled, feeling the others fidgeting behind him. Then he sneezed. Arcs of electricity sparked from his hand to the wall and floor, and it was only by great good fortune that he didn't accidentally trip the alarm.

". . . _Dangit_." He drew in hard through his nose, frustrated with himself. Why did he have to catch a stupid cold just _now?_

"Your symptoms are worrisome, Jay," said Zane. "This is a clear sign of inflammation in your respiratory mucosa."

"You leave my mucosa out of this!"

"No, he's right," said Kai. "You really oughta be in bed nibbling pretzels and reading comic books right now."

"Bahhhh. Sissy stuff." Jay snuffled vehemently, jabbing at the keypad. "Never may it be said that Jay Walker caught a man-cold."

To be entirely honest though, bed sounded lovely just now. He wouldn't have minded some pretzels either.

Luckily his electric sense seemed to have cleared along with his sinuses, because he finally managed to decipher the entry code. Within seconds they were past the trapdoor and in the Technician stronghold.

It was mercifully empty. They began to pass rooms, foreboding metal doors set into the metal walls. Now and then they would pass an alcove or a room with no door, and would be offered a glimpse of boxes, computers, jumbles of paperwork. Still they didn't meet anyone.

"Meep," hissed Jay, grabbing the alien back as he drifted away. Both aliens seemed utterly fascinated by their new surroundings, and right now Jay was grateful that only one of them was mobile. Even then he had to make sure Mopp didn't try to climb right out of his hoodie. Meanwhile Lloyd was supporting Kai while Zane was keeping a tight hold of Junior's hand. The snakelet trotted at his side in solemn silence.

"This is definitely one of the Technician's bases," said Lloyd, his voice hushed. "But why is it empty?"

"Perhaps because it is almost one AM," said Zane. He smiled when the others gave him surprised looks. "My satellite clock has returned. We must indeed be near the surface." Then he held up one hand to preempt Kai. "Before you ask, yes, I have already synced my internal clock to it."

"So what day is it?!" asked Jay eagerly.

"Counting that it is after midnight, the sixteenth of September."

"Woahhhh. We really have been down there almost three days!" Cole gave a soft, disbelieving laugh.

"Say Kai, when was your next shot due?" said Jay.

"The eighteenth. No worries." Kai smiled grimly. "We're just lucky that we climbed up here in the middle of the night and not the middle of the day. Let's find a door and get the heck out."

They kept going down the central hallway, trying to ignore all the tempting open rooms and side corridors. Right in the middle of a Technician stronghold, and they couldn't stop to claw out all the place's secrets. It rankled.

At the end of the hallway, they found a giant round window, stretching from the floor almost to the ceiling, like a hobbit's door. It looked out into a dark, murky night, the outer surface splattered with water droplets.

"It's raining out there," said Cole. He found a latch and pushed the glass door open. A torrent of cool, wet, rain-scented air burst in, and simultaneously the ninja stepped out.

Rain drenched them immediately. They seemed to be on a broad mountain ledge, slick with mud. The mountain continued to rise behind them and dropped off sharply in front of them, with no guardrail. A large H and circle symbol were melting in the rain, indicating that this was a makeshift helicopter pad.

"We're out," said Cole. For a moment they all stood staring into the weeping dark sky and soaked in that reality.

Abruptly Jay went up in a violent explosion of electricity. Everyone jumped, blinded by the flash. When they could see again, Jay was gone. Far above there was a brief flicker of blue dragon scales and a distant shout of " _wooooooooooo-hoooooooooooo!_ "

"Is he okay? . . . " said Kai. Cole chuckled.

"Well heck. Even I was getting a little tired of being underground."

Meanwhile, Junior was having a crisis.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" he screeched, burrowing into Lloyd's side. "Why is it wet?!"

"It's rain, silly," laughed Lloyd. "It can't hurt you. It's just water falling from the sky. It happens sometimes." He pried Junior gently from his gi and showed him how to hold out his hands to catch the raindrops. "See? Just water. It comes from the clouds and helps plants grow."

"This is so weirrrrrrrrrrd," whispered Junior, staring upwards in awe. Clearly this kid didn't get aboveground much.

Meanwhile, Jay was knocking himself to bits. His dragon was glowing ridiculously bright, its wingspan enormous, its wings beating with a furious eager thunder. He galloped dangerously high, skirting thunderclouds, getting tangled in updrafts, executing loops and rolls. He couldn't believe he was finally back in the sky again; he didn't ever want to come down.

Mopp clung staunchly to his shoulder all throughout, offering a commentary of disapproving chirps. The alien seemed a little frazzled at Jay's chaotic flight path, but he did seem to enjoy the nearby lightning strikes. Jay wove between the bolts like a slalom skier, whooping giddily.

At long last he calmed down enough to take stock of his surroundings a little. Looking down, he saw the mountain that the Technician base was built into. A glowing green form was circling it: Lloyd must be scouting the area on his own dragon. Reluctantly Jay turned his dragon's nose downwards. He folded back the wings again and let himself drop, screeching to a halt next to Lloyd. He grinned when he saw Junior riding along, clinging to the green ninja's shoulders.

"Higher, Unca Lloyd, HIGHER!"

"Oh, I think that's high enough," said Lloyd. He pulled his dragon into a neat aileron roll, making Junior shriek delightedly.

"And here I thought you were being responsible!" called Jay.

"I was!" Lloyd shouted back. Jay laughed and turned his dragon groundwards again. He'd meant to execute a few final loops and a fancy fluttery landing, but he was still about twenty feet up when he suddenly sneezed and his dragon vanished in a shower of electrical sparks. Jay found himself tumbling the last few feet and landing with a splash. Although somewhat winded by the impact, he was still in too exuberant a mood to care. Kai peered down at him dubiously.

"Are you okay?" he said, sounding like he had some legitimate doubts about the answer.

"Absolutely fantastic, thanks!" said Jay, grinning. He sat up, shaking mud from his ears, and took the hand up Cole offered him.

"Lead me not into temptation," he heard the older ninja muttering through his teeth. As the master of earth, Cole had always had a particularly hard time resisting mud.

"Aww," said Jay, his eyes snapping mischievously. "So serious again? I thought you weren't going to leave us!"

"Don't get ideas, Sparky, now is not the time," said Cole. "Lloyd's found a building."

" _Some_ of us take a responsible survey of the area instead of shooting off into a thundercloud," said Lloyd, landing his dragon nearby. He tried to look smug, but the effect was rather spoiled by the fact that his hair was again plastering into his eyes. "But anyway. There's something like a little convenience store down below, near the foot of the mountain. We could check in there for a phone, see if we can contact Nya."

"Yeah," said Cole. "Sounds good."

Nobody made any moves, however. There was an amazing secret Technician base right behind them, unlocked, empty. When would they ever get another opportunity like this?

"Maybe just a . . . quick look around?" said Zane, smiling hopefully. Cole hesitated, then laughed.

"Who am I kidding, I couldn't walk away from this either. Okay. Quick look. We'll fan out and see what info we can gather."

They turned around and headed back inside. About five paces in they ran smack into three Technicians.

They swung around a corner, a man, woman, and Venomari, all carrying boxes and gabbling drowsily amongst themselves. They didn't even see the ninja till the ninja had seen them—it was no contest, really.

"Phew!" said Cole about thirty seconds later, when the Technicians had been knocked out and the hallway was scattered with spilled paperwork and electronics from the boxes. "Two days underground and we are _way_ out of practice. How did we not hear these guys coming?" He looked down. "Uhhh, Kai?"

The Venomari had been wearing a pocket-filled utility belt, like many Serpentine do. Kai was now crouched next to him, pawing frantically through the contents of the belt and holding the longest "f" Jay had ever heard.

"What's wrong now?" asked Jay.

Kai got hold of himself with difficulty. He held out a sleek black device, something like an old-fashioned pager. A small red light was flashing in one corner.

"Nash's crew used to use these. It's basically just a walkie-talkie. But _this_ red light means that he's hit the panic button—he's called a state of emergency. You need a special key to turn off the panic beacon and signal 'false alarm,' and I can't find it."

"Frick," muttered Cole. They all began to scrabble through the downed Technicians' pockets and boxes, but they couldn't find any key.

"I think they're not carrying one," groaned Kai, sitting down and digging a hand through his damp hair. "Great. Just great. We probably have minutes before the entire legion comes pouring in here."

Anxious glances turned to Cole. The earth ninja chewed his lip, looking back and forth between the half-open doorway and the innards of the Technician base. The choice had to be made quickly.

"All right, we'll have to do this chop-chop," he said at last, standing up. "Now that they know we've infiltrated this place, this is our last chance to explore it—they'll clear it out before we can return. Kai, stay here. Guard these bozos in case they wake up, take care of Junior and the aliens. We'll come get you if we find a better exit."

Kai's jaw tightened resentfully, but he gave a brisk nod, knowing he was too slow to go staggering around the base right now. Jay peeled Mopp out of his wet hood and handed him to Kai, then motioned firmly for Meep to stay too. Junior, seemingly unwilling to raise objections when Cole's voice was so sharp, plopped down at Kai's side without protest.

"A'ight. Everyone else split up. Be quick, be silent. Look for an exit that doesn't involve jumping off the side of a mountain. If you spot any incoming Technicians, get out of dodge. Capiche?"

"Got it!" chorused the others. Without another word they scattered, leaving Kai and Junior digging through the paperwork they'd spilled. The Serpentine's walkie-talkie lay discarded to one side of the hall, its red emergency light still blinking. The proverbial clock was ticking.


	48. You Are Now Breathing Manually

**Angel Star Ninja: Yep, I've seen it! Those commercial people are miiiiighty cunning—they knew just which villain to put in to make the fandom go crazy. XD**

 **Elveron294: Ohhh, so should he just make every authorfish he sees angry and see if it turns red? :P Heh, as to me, I'm the common pink variant of authorjelly. I don't wanna brag or nothin', but the famous Squishy grew up to be my great-great-great-uncle.**

 **Um, are you sure you want him getting all muddy just before he goes to hug you? XD But yeah, I totally know what you mean. One of my favorite words is "clerk." Such a crisp word.**

 **Don't worry, they're not going back into the mines! Just back into the Technician base. It's really not that different from being inside a building. And it's their only chance to get some information on the Techs! They owe it to the safety of Ninjago to do everything they can.**

 **TheSuperMays: Awww, thank you! So glad you're enjoying, and thanks for spreading the word! ^_^'' Heh, believe me, this one's not anywhere close to ending anytime soon. x_X Updates are every Tuesday for now!**

* * *

 **Sept 16**

 **1:08 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Still suspended**

 **Status conditions: TIME CRUNCH! Kai lame, Jay with infected wound and cold, Cole lightly wounded, Zane with light external damage and missing eye, various minor injuries.**

* * *

Jay skidded down the leftmost corridor he could find, wishing he could breathe freely. The others' footsteps pounding down the nearby hallways were rapidly fading from earshot, and he knew he probably only had a few minutes' time before they all had to flee a Technician horde. Exploring the base at all was probably crazy by this point, but crazy was something they were good at.

He slid to a brief halt, tilting his head. The hallway here was lined with rows of tall metal cabinets, something like lockers. They hummed softly. Darting closer, Jay examined one. A data tower. Bah. He couldn't get any information from this.

He shot into the nearest open doorway, then broke into a grin. Jackpot! The room was full of monitors and computer towers, some of them clearly in sleep mode. Jay made a tearing circuit of the room, shaking every mouse he could find to wake everything. Then he threw himself at the nearest computer, dashed a sleeve under his nose, and began to type and click furiously.

Only a few minutes later his head snapped up. His straining ears had picked up a distant thump of footsteps. He had to get out! Hissing angrily at the lack of time, he lunged for the hallway. He loped a few steps, light-footed, then froze again. The footsteps around the corner were getting closer much too quickly; there was no way he could get to the other end of the hall without being seen.

Jay cast about frantically for a moment. There were few hiding places. Finally, desperately, he threw himself up to the top of the data towers and squiggled back on his stomach as far as he could, slotting himself between the ceiling and the tops of the towers. He was above eye level and in the shadows; hopefully he wouldn't be seen. Now if he could only quiet his ragged mouthbreathing . . .

His hidey-hole offered him a prime view of the hallway. The Technician, a lone Venomari, came striding along peering suspiciously in every direction. He knew full-well that he was responding to an invasion of the base, and he was ready to ferret out the invaders and take them by the collective throat. Jay breathed as quietly as he could. His nose began to itch, but he tried to ignore it as he shifted forward the tiniest bit, watching the snake.

He felt his eyes grew wide. So many scars . . . this guy looked like he'd slept in a barbed-wire hammock. Nastily scraped knuckles. A long slice on his arm. Gouges all down his back. Twin rifts in one knee. A stuttered gash on his other leg. One eye—

One eye scarred shut.

Jay's heart flopped over and played dead. Kai had described Nash to them all in detail, and this guy looked like he fit the bill. For a moment Jay forgot about his itching nose as he strained forward, trying to make out the snake's features more clearly. There were the sawed-off jaw spikes. There was the chipped fang. This had to be Nash.

He was so hooped.

Jay had thought his heart stopped beating before, but he was mistaken. His heart _really_ stopped beating when Nash suddenly paused, almost directly below the blue ninja's hiding place. His wedge-shaped head tilted back slightly, his doubled eyes narrowing, and his tongue slowly flickered out to test the air. Jay fought the urge to scream. How long before Nash found him? Could he hear him? Could he smell him? Did he just sense him, with that freaky heat-sensing ability snakes had?

He squinched his eyes shut and prayed with all he had that the data towers were creating enough warmth to camouflage his body heat.

It must have worked. After a long, excruciating moment, Nash turned slowly towards the computer room Jay had just left and stalked inside, his head down and his hand on his dagger. Jay's heart gradually resumed beating as he struggled not to gasp in relief.

He could hear Nash striding around the computer room, growling as he saw the activated computer screens and checked which files Jay had opened. He wondered desperately if he could slip down from his hiding place and make a run for it, but there was no chance he'd make it undetected. Must wait. Wait in silence.

His nostrils resumed itching, now even worse. He carefully shifted just enough to pinch the bridge of his nose, which Sensei had taught them could eliminate the urge to sneeze. It offered some relief—he pinched as hard as he could—still not enough. He didn't know how much longer he could last.

Nash slipped out of the computer room again, cursing under his breath. He glanced sharply about to check his surroundings, then headed farther down the hall. Squinting through watering eyes, Jay mentally pleaded for him to hurry up.

To his everlasting horror, Nash started to poke his head into all the other nearby rooms.

Jay shut his eyes. He could make it. A few seconds more. Just a few seconds more, and then a few more seconds, and second by second he would make it. He had to. He had—

" _Kcha!_ "

He nearly blew out an eardrum from struggling to stuff the sneeze back into his lungs, and the electrical discharge was absolutely spectacular. Lightning arced halfway across the hallway, singed the ceiling above him, blew out the data towers below him in blue and yellow gushes of sparks.

Nash didn't jump. His only reaction was to pivot smoothly and hurl his dagger point-first at Jay's head.

Jay shrank back reflexively, but really he hardly needed to; he wasn't at an angle that could be reached from the ground. The dagger thwacked harmlessly past him and lodged halfway to the hilt in the ceiling.

Panting, Jay took stock of the fact that he was not yet dead. Then he yanked the knife out of the ceiling, slid from the sizzling tops of the ruined towers, and flipped onto his feet. Nothing left to do now except fight like a mad dog. At least he had the creep's knife!

Nash gave a guttural sound of amazement when Jay landed. For a moment he seemed shocked. Then his face flickered into recognition, then set into a mask of blazing fury.

" _You._ " His hands snapped into fists, his voice dangerously calm. "Why are you not dead?"

"Uhhhh—" Jay grinned awkwardly. "Welllllll, I think we'd both be happier if you still thought I was. Would you believe me if I said I was totally still dead?"

"Oh, you're dead all right."

Nash barreled towards him with a snarl, and Jay quickly backed against the data towers for safety, striking out with the dagger. Nash caught his wrist before it could reach him, wrenching it back above his head, and gagged him with his other scaly hand. Jay growled; this snake could maybe knock him around, but let's see how he liked a dose of a couple hundred volts.

Only the electricity wouldn't flow. Jay concentrated as hard as he could, but he couldn't summon so much as a flicker of lightning. Had he exhausted his elemental reserves with that one sneeze? It didn't feel like those Vengestone cuffs he'd worn back on Chen's Island. He was almost ready to swear he still felt the lightning, sloshing around in his fingertips, refusing to leap out. Great! His powers got him into this mess by cropping up unwanted, and now when he needed them they wouldn't show.

Physical combat it was, then. Jay dropped his full weight to the snake's hands and used both feet to aim a sweeping kick at his ankles. Instead of resisting, Nash let himself fall—but he hauled Jay down with him, slamming him to the floor and falling atop him, his fangs nearly slicing through the ninja's forehead. Jay thrashed furiously, trying to free his knife arm.

Nash was unruffled. Slowly, majestic with rage, he shifted his scaly bulk upwards along Jay's body, out of range of his flailing legs. Very deliberately he pushed himself upright to straddle Jay, still covering his mouth and holding his knife wrist above his head. He planted one knee on Jay's other arm, pinning it. Finally he twisted the knife arm down as well and planted his other knee on it. The blunt snout dipped lower as his three eyes locked with Jay's two.

"Sssson of a Skulkin." His breath was hot and smelled of decaying limes. Jay struggled harder and harder, still muffled by the thick, scaly hand jammed over his mouth.

"Son of a Skulkin," repeated the Venomari, sounding like he couldn't believe himself. "What does it _take_ to kill you?"

Abruptly he ungagged Jay. He cupped both broad, scaly hands around Jay's shoulders, then dug in until he cut off the joints' movement, grinding bone painfully against bone. Then in a sudden burst of fury he ripped Jay out from underneath him and slammed him back against the wall of data towers. Jay could only arch his back against the pain, his breath snatched from his lungs as Nash's claws dug into his shoulders, sending fire shooting through his infected switchblade wound.

"A team of assassins. TWO cave-ins," Nash gritted, shaking him. "What does it take, you disgusting little bag of skin? What does it take to get you out of our hair?"

Jay panted, his hands trembling as he strained to break from the snake's paralyzing grip. He forced open one eye and somehow wrung out a defiant smirk.

"Start by—getting some hair, bozo—Aagh!"

Nash's grip tightened. A dangerous smile flickered across his face.

"Cute lasst words, Walker," he rasped, and Jay went cold at the thought of this psycho knowing his full name. "This time you're not getting away. You think it's your ssmarts that saved you? Pf. It was your own _enemy_ holdin' me back _._ That misbegotten computer rat Silica can't stand the thought of anyone dyin' for the sssake of our plans." He leaned in, searching Jay's eyes mischievously. "But right now . . . Silica doesn't need to know, now does she?"

Jay licked his lips, his breath shallow with exhaustion. He had given up struggling. He watched with dull terror as two horrid green shining droplets began to collect at the tips of Nash's fangs. The dirty smell of venom was sharp in the air. Mere seconds, and those fangs would sink into his flesh, drive their deadly fluid into his bloodstream. He was a goner . . .

A strange cry echoed down the hallway. Something pale-blue rocketed into Jay's vision, and Nash gave a startled bark as the blue thing crashed against his head. The blow was enough to make him stumble, and his grip loosened. Without even thinking Jay yanked up his arm and slashed the dagger across Nash's face. The snake roared and fell backwards, blood spurting from his muzzle. He dragged Jay down with him, but Jay wrestled for dear life, stabbing wildly with the dagger and somehow not scoring a single deep hit. He was dimly aware of screaming and electronic howling constantly circling his head, and a pale-blue blur throwing itself over and over at his snakish opponent.

By some miracle he managed to writhe his way free of the scales and blood and furious bellowing. Gasping for air, he heaved himself to all fours and lifted his head—just in time to see a series of giant metal data towers toppling ponderously towards him.

Jay hurled himself out of the way at the last possible second. He slammed against the unforgiving metal floor and skidded, safe. Just behind him he heard the data towers landing with a gruesome thud, followed by several more crashes.

"M-Meep!" he gasped. He rolled over gingerly, propping himself up on his elbows and smiling through a faceful of sweat, snot, and Nash's blood. "Meep, man, you really know when to . . . "

The words died on his lips. The alien still hovering ferociously over the downed data towers was not Meep.

Or . . . no, it was Meep. Seeing that Nash was not clawing his way out of the pile of fallen metal, the alien turned to look back at Jay with the same gentle, concerned eyes he had seen so many times before. But he was _different._ His body was larger. His voice was deeper, slightly more electronic. The hooded eyelids were more pronounced. His tentacles were longer and came to a finer point, and at the opposite end of his body there was a faint conical bulge. He looked less cuttlefish and more squid.

"Meep? . . . " breathed Jay. He reached out, but Meep shied away from his touch, averting his eyes. Casting Jay a look oddly like grief, the alien swished out of sight through a half-open door.

"Meep no, w-wait—" Jay scrabbled to his knees, aiming to get up, but came up short again as all his various injuries spiked simultaneously.

"Waow," he gritted, his hand flying to his shoulder. For a second he sat and sopped at the reopened wound, trying to sort of pat it into feeling a little better. The next time he looked up, Meep was floating right by his head, watching with anxious eyes.

" _Ahhhhh_ ," the alien burred, coaxing.

He looked just the same as he usually did.

"Meep?" Jay blinked, smiling in disbelief. "What the heck?"

He pulled the alien down into his arms, stroking him between the eyes as he tried to find any signs of what he'd seen a moment ago. Nothing. The same round, chunky, cuddly alien he'd known for weeks.

"What was _that_ , buddy?" murmured Jay. "Tell me I didn't just imagine that."

" _Glooo. Wowf._ " Meep merely nudged against his shoulder, offering his most therapeutic purr. Jay shook his head and wiped at his grimy face, bewildered. That had been so weird . . . For whatever reason, though, his gut was telling him not to mention this to the others. For now he decided to put the incident aside.

"Well, either way, little buddy. You really are a lifesaver. Thanks, okay?"

Meep chirped, and Jay chuckled tiredly. Man, he was beat.

All of a sudden the pile of downed data towers began to heave, horror-movie style. Jay was pretty sure he didn't even _get_ up; he just stiffened so violently it knocked him onto his feet.

"YOU GUYS WE'VE GOTTA SCRAM!" he bellowed. Snatching Meep by one leg, he rocketed down the hall to find the others.

* * *

 **A/N: Cor, did something exciting actually happen in this story? There is a disturbance in the Force, my friends . . .**

 **Pinching the bridge of your nose really does help if you want to avoid sneezing. You don't even have to cut off your breathing (that could hurt your sinuses if you do sneeze), just find the sweet spot just below the bony ridge. Surprisingly effective.**

 **Nash will stab anyone who even suggests it, but he does have a significant amount of Constrictai blood in him. That's why he's so strong.**


	49. Your Face When

**Whooooooo-cha! Now we're cookin' with weird radiation!**

 **Hehe, don't mind me. I just got around to sorting out that enormous vague blob of random plot things I had floating in the near-future of this story, and I was wildly surprised at how well everything clicked into place. You guys ever see that Winnie-the-Pooh cartoon where Tigger frantically lays down train tracks as the toy train barrels forwards? That's me and this story.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Guest: Excellent points, all!**

 **The alien craft is being investigated by Dr. Borg, the only person outside of the _Bounty's_ crew who currently knows about it. There was some unease at the skytracker center in Metalonia, which noticed the craft as it was descending, but Nya managed to lead them off the trail** **—** **for now.**

 **I don't quite understand what you were getting at with the filling** **—** **I've had them, and they never hurt afterwards. Mine were under local anesthesia, but Lloyd's was essentially done under _total_ anesthesia. Any lingering ache would have been the last thing on his mind, considering the circumstances in which he awoke.**

 **As to Jay's infection, it's localized to the wound as of now. It hasn't become bad enough to cause septic shock. _Yet._**

 **Pray continue, however. I believe there's at least one fatal error in the premise of this story, but nobody's found it yet . . .**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheSuperMays: Thanks! He's got the previous shoulder wound, but he didn't pick up any new damage from Nash, aside from a few scratches and some shoulder soreness. He is the first in history to walk away with that little, for the record.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Elveron294: Nuuuu, not the voodoo powers! *hides* Oh, the only power of the authorjelly is its cold sting, and even that is very rarely deployed.**

 **Oooooooh, can't wait to see your Lloydfish doc! We'll have to arrange to get it shown in IMAX 3D.**

 **Oh my. XD Bad Kai! Learn some tact.**

 **Hehe; Meep would very much like to explain what the heck, but he only speaks MeepMopp and I can't translate. ^_^''**

 **Awww, thank you! My channel partners and I love music videos that have either lip-syncing or clips that match the meaning of the words; we don't have very good software for the former, but we drive as hard as we can for the latter. ^_^**

 **Oh man, now I wish I could call this chapter that. Actually, they do escape! Heh, what luck.**

 **Heh, yeah; I have a friend on here who's an investigation whiz, she ranked fics by reviews and told me I was ninth. Kinda hard to wrap my head around! Man. ^_^''**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **monranr: Aw, thanks so much for the kind words! Regarding your review on "Backstage With Jay"** **—well, since his biological father is Cliff Gordon, the actor who plays his all-time favorite TV character, that would be a pretty exciting meeting for Jay! Hmmm. Did you mean meeting him _before_ that "reset point" on the hospital rooftop, or _after,_ in the timeline that happened once Season 6 was erased?**

* * *

 **Sept. 16**

 **2:02 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Last thing on their minds right now**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay with infected wound and cold, Cole lightly wounded, Zane with light external damage and missing eye, various minor injuries.**

* * *

Jay tore into the hallway junction and nearly smacked into Lloyd and Cole.

"You guys!" he began.

"Jay, oh my gosh!" Lloyd grabbed his shoulders, looking terrified. "What happened?"

"Whaaa—" Jay blinked, then realized he was probably pretty bloody. "It's not _mine._ " Then he shook himself free and pointed back from where he'd come. "Freaking Technicians here! Where _were_ you guys?!"

"We were fighting other Technicians!"

"Oh." Jay plowed off down the hall where they'd left Kai. "Good sign that it's time to vamoose!"

Vamoose they did. They could already hear clattering footsteps and angry shouts coming from behind them. Halfway down the hallway they found Kai, leaning heavily against the wall and looking frazzled.

"Jay, I take my eyes off your idiot alien for _one_ second and—" He stopped when he saw Meep. "Shoot! If I'd known he'd just tag after you I'd have—"

"No time for that Kai, there's Technicians coming!"

There was a brief whirlwind of activity as Lloyd skidded in to help Kai, Jay grabbed Mopp, Cole grabbed Junior. There were already Technicians howling by the far end of the hall; there was nowhere to go except out the large round window. They pounded out into the rain and skidded to a halt at the edge of the drop-off. The mountainside below was near-vertical and sheer. It would be a long fall.

For just a second they hesitated, teetering on the brink. Then a gunshot shattered the glass door behind them to smithereens. Everyone jumped for it.

Some attempts were made to summon their dragons. Zane didn't even bother. He hit the base of the mountain so hard that his panels flew open—all seven of them—and the chest panel broke off completely. The others managed to summon some flailing, tumbling scraps of colored light; not enough to hold them up, but at least enough to stop the fall from being fatal.

It was still painful. For a few seconds after they slammed into the muddy ground they lay still, taking stock of their spines and limbs.

"Ohhhkay," groaned Cole at last, heaving himself up. "Show of hands, who's got broken bones?"

No takers.

"Underachievers," said Cole, but you could hear the relief in his voice. He looked up, blinking rain from his eyes. "Phew! I think we've lost them."

"That was excitin'!" piped Junior, sliding off the earth ninja, who had held onto him to cushion his fall.

"But kind of useless," sighed Kai. "Junior and I didn't find anything special in the paperwork we searched. Anyone else get anything?"

"Not really. Those Techs started coming in really soon," said Cole regretfully. He began to help Zane, who was trying to keep his insides dry while cleaning the mud from his chest panel so he could reattach it.

Meanwhile, Jay sat up, fumbling at his mouth. He spat out something that clicked against his teeth.

"Oh no," said Lloyd. "You're not joining me in the lost-tooth club, are you?"

"Nope. I just needed my hands free." Jay tried to find a clean, dry portion of his gi to wipe the small object off with, and found none. Shrugging, he shook the object off instead and held it out to the others. "How d'you like this?"

"What is it?" said Lloyd, squinting at the tiny plastic device.

"A microdrive," grinned Jay. "I didn't have time to read much in the Tech base. But I did find this loose drive lying around, so I plugged it into the nearest computer and downloaded everything I could."

". . . Jay, you're awesome."

"I do what I can." Jay tried not to be visibly pleased with himself.

"The second-greatest, even," said Kai, then ducked as Cole threw a handful of mud at his head.

"Can you all stop congratulating yourselves and give me a hand with Zane, he's awfully quiet for some—"

Suddenly there was a faint whistling sound and a metallic _pow!_ , and Zane went sprawling.

"Zane?!"

The Nindroid shook his head vehemently, shuddering with visible pain as he got up. Cole tried to steady him, but before the others could even ask what was happening, there was another brisk whistle. A spray of mud leaped up inches away from them.

"Ohhhh shoot, they've found us!" gasped Cole, looking up to the ledge above them. "Move it!"

"Quick, we can take shelter in the store!"

Jay shoved the microdrive back into his mouth for safekeeping. Gunfire continued to bark around them as they scrambled to their feet and made a dash for the building, Lloyd leading the way. Luckily the dark night and the pouring rain seemed to shield them from view, because most of the shots were way off. Unfortunately, there was clearly one thing that the Technicians could see—Zane. The poor shiny Nindroid took at least one more shot before they reached the convenience store, ducking to the far side of the building to take cover.

"They're probably getting down here already," gritted Cole, prying at the locked automatic doors. "Lloyd, there weren't any other buildings around here? Anything safer?"

Lloyd shook his head, rain droplets flying from his hair. Cole grimaced in concession and redoubled his efforts.

"These freaking doors—if I break them they're not going to do us much good—"

Jay had been struggling to summon a lightning bolt all this time. Finally he managed to generate a crackling thread of electricity, which he quickly channeled at the door mechanism. With a screech, the doors slid open, and everyone stumbled through into the dimly-lit store. Once they were inside, Jay forced the doors shut and zapped the mechanism till it exploded. He winced; he'd meant to just re-lock it.

Turning around, he grimaced at the condition of his teammates. They were gasping, soaking wet, disoriented; Kai was looking sick from the strain he'd placed on his injured leg, and Junior was huddled against a shelf whimpering softly. Zane was a wreck. Lloyd was hovering beside him, trying to hold him up.

"C'mon Zane, say something," he pleaded.

Cole leaned his hands on his knees, wiping sweat and rain from his upper lip. He glanced to the perma-locked automatic doors.

"Okay," he panted. "Okay. They're going to be here any minute now. Everyone get behind the shelves and get ready to hold them off. Let's get Zane and Kai fixed up as much as we can."

"I've got Zane," said Jay, herding Lloyd aside. Lloyd went to scoop up Junior comfortingly and sit down next to Kai. Cole was already trying to fashion a splint for him. Meanwhile Jay sat Zane, still shaking his head in silence, back against a shelf. The Nindroid lifted his head to lock gazes with Jay, and the lightning ninja felt his insides twist at the panic and pain glowing in his single whole eye. He squeezed Zane's shoulder hastily.

"Easy buddy, easy. You're okay," he murmured, already searching for the latch to the panel in the back of his head. "Easy, we've gotcha. No sweat, you probably just knocked something loose when you fell, with a drop like that it's impossible you wouldn't have knocked something loose, you're lucky even as it is doncha know . . . There, see, it's your voice chip! Just a minute, hold on . . . "

He trailed off the stream of half-panicky half-soothing chatter as he focused his full attention on Zane's dislodged voice chip. He hoped he could get it reconnected. Tongue tucked between his teeth, he carefully poked and wiggled at the tiny device.

It finally clicked into place, catching Zane-mid gasp.

"It's working!" he said, his voice fizzing with static.

"There we go!" Jay clapped him on the shoulder and began to study him for further damage, knowing there wasn't much time. His eyes widened when he saw the deep dents in Zane's side and arm. "Holy cow, Zane. You really are bullet-proof, aren't you?"

"I-I suppose so," said Zane shakily. "I do still feel the impact."

" . . . Oh." Jay cringed. "Oh man. Does it still hurt?"

"Only a little." Zane brushed Jay's hand aside as he reached for the dents. "Do not worry about those right now; they don't affect my function. Right now I need to get my insides dry. My humidity metrics are off the charts, and I might short-circuit at any moment."

"Oh crud." Jay quickly yanked Zane's front panel open. He groaned at the mess of mud and water inside.

"Can anyone find me some kind of dry cloth?" he called, beginning to scoop the mud out as best he could with his fingers. A few seconds later Junior came bounding over.

"There's this!" he announced, holding out a packet of chamois cloths, the type people use to wash and polish their cars.

"Perfect!" said Jay. He tugged out a cloth and began to dry Zane's insides quickly but carefully.

"Izzen this a store, though?" asked Junior, tilting his head. "Is that stealing?"

"Uhh . . . " Jay faltered.

"It's an emergency, Junior," said Lloyd. "Normally we wouldn't do this, but for now we have to use what we need. We'll keep track of what we owe and pay for it later."

"Right," said Jay, relieved. "How much for these cloths, then?"

"Three hundred ken," said Zane. "And we should probably count about five thousand ken for the door mechanism you broke."

"Ergh," mumbled Jay, slumping.

Kai was splinted up by now. Cole was sliding an endcap shelf away from the aisle and towards the doors to barricade them. Jay went swiftly through all seven of Zane's panels, sopping out excess moisture. Kai gently ran a flame over some of the hard-to-reach areas, evaporating the last few drops. Soon they were able to close Zane up again.

"Feeling good?" said Jay.

"Splendid," said Zane, smiling. "Thank you for the help."

"Don' mention it." Jay used the last dry chamois cloth to wipe off the microdrive he'd been storing in his mouth all this time. He slipped it into his pocket now and looked around. Cole was just finishing up with the barricade. He was being as careful as he could, but during the final maneuvers a box of cookies fell off the top shelf and burst open.

"That's another two hundred and fifty ken," said Zane.

Cole sighed in concession, leaning back against the shelf. He looked around at the others, slowly patching themselves together and calming down. The rain drummed on the roof. As nothing continued to happen, the tension slowly boiled off.

"So, Jay," said Cole. "Care to explain that heart attack you gave us?"

"Huh? Oh." Jay wiped at his face reflexively, checking if there was any blood left. He felt his lips twitch into a tiny smile. "Ah, well, not a big deal. Just ran into Nash."

" _What?!_ "

"Yep, pretty sure it was him." Jay put on his best super-casual—which was difficult when his nose was running. "Honestly Kai, I'm not that impressed. You made out like he was all tough and an epic fighter and everything, but the guy has more scars than a grandpa cougar."

"Uh, yeah," said Kai. "People tend to fight back when he's throttling them to death and stuff."

Jay blinked, thrown. Kai gave him the "don't be a smart-alec" look.

"Or, you know. Now and then someone whose life he's ruined tries to stab him. He walks away with a scar. The other guy doesn't walk away."

"Oh," said Jay dizzily. He was starting to realize more completely the narrowness of his escape.

"Don't ever underestimate him, you hear me? Every single scar represents someone who's now dead," finished Kai darkly. He looked at Jay. " . . . You don't look so good. You didn't actually meet him face-to-face, did you?"

"Uh, welllll," said Jay. "He, uh . . . has a new scar now."

There was a chorus of disbelieving shouts.

"You _stabbed_ him?" yelped Lloyd.

"With his own dagger," said Jay thinly, feeling a somewhat delirious grin spreading across his face. On one hand he was scared out of his wits; on the other hand it was pretty satisfying seeing the others' amazed expressions.

"Hooooooly chiles, Jay." Kai looked flat-out awed. "What were you thinking?"

"He threw his knife at me. Then, uh—stuff happened, a lot of stuff—and then Meep jumped on his head and let me get a stab at him. You said snakes' noses are sensitive, right?"

"Get out, Jay." Kai pinched the bridge of his nose, laughing in disbelief. "Get out and keep walking. Incredible."

"Ah, well." Jay tried his utmost to look cool about it. "I saw an opening."

"Hah. Not that I don't appreciate it incredibly," said Kai, "but you do realize you're now a dead man walking?"

"Ugh." Jay's mood dropped a couple dozen notches.

"It was still impressive, though." Zane patted his arm comfortingly. Jay gave him a weak smile.

"Oh gosh, I probably made him _really_ angry now," he mumbled.

"He's always really angry," said Kai. "Believe me. He walks through life in a constant state of rage."

"And hey, what else is new?" Cole chipped in wryly. "The Techs only dropped a mine on our heads twice. It's not like the rest of us are any safer."

"Well, I feel a lot better now," groaned Jay.

"Speaking of Technicians," said Kai.

Cole nodded and turned to peek over the top of the shelf barricade, squinting out through the glass doors. Jay joined him, standing on his tiptoes. Kai limped over to look as well.

"It's awfully quiet," remarked Lloyd. "Those Technicians are sure taking a long time to get down here."

"I know," said Cole, his brows furrowed. "I don't see anyone out there. Can you hear anyone, Zane?"

The Nindroid tipped his head back, his single whole eye narrowing. Then he shook his head regretfully.

"The rain on the roof makes it impossible to hear much else."

He clambered to his feet and squeezed in next to the other three ninja looking through the door. His eye flashed blue and emitted a scan beam, piercing through the door and into the murky night.

"I see them! Five snakes—two humans—"

 _K'chOW!_

The ninja all yelped and dropped behind the shelf in a heap as a web of cracks splashed across the safety glass of the door. The shelf jolted as a bullet pinged into it.

"They're out there all right!" gasped Cole.

"They're gathering." Kai's face was grim. "They're assembling their forces, their weapons. They're going to surround this place and wipe us off the face of the planet."

"Don't scare the kid," hissed Jay, punching his arm.

"We're kind of screwed," said Kai. "The kid should be scared."

Cole punched his other arm.

"Ow," grumbled Kai. "Zane, I suppose you want a turn next?"

"Ignore him," groaned Cole. "How much for the door?"

"They cannot charge us for the door," said Zane. "It was not we who broke it. At worst, it would be charged to our collateral damage account."

"Huh." Cole considered. "Phew. Good thing, too. If those guys come in here after us, we are gonna have SO much collateral damage to deal with."

"Ignoring the fact that we'd no longer be around to deal with it," grumbled Kai stubbornly.

Meanwhile, Jay had suddenly gone quiet, looking around the store.

"You know, guys," he said. "We're in a pretty big store full of stuff. I know it's gonna cost us later if we wreck it ourselves, but . . . wouldn't it be a good idea to use this stuff to defend ourselves? Better to be alive and in debt than . . . y'know, the other option."

"Fair enough," said Cole. "But this is a convenience store, Jay, not a weapons shop. What are we gonna do, throw packs of gum at them?"

"No, no, Jay's right!" said Lloyd. "We have an entire store to work with, we need to use what we have. And I think I have a few ideas . . . "

"Ohhhhh boy," groaned Cole, as Lloyd disappeared among the shelves. "Ohhh no. He's getting that face."

"What face?" asked Junior, tilting his head.

"The one everyone worries about," said Cole. "Believe me. It's the danger face. Way back when he was only _this_ tall, we already learned to be scared of that face."

"Relax." Lloyd's voice drifted from the other side of the store, accompanied by a clatter of merchandise. "You guys aren't the ones who should be scared right now."

* * *

 **A/N: So I wanted to weaponize a convenience store.**

 **I just REALLY WANTED to weaponize a convenience store, okay? I don't know why. It just happened. And now here we are, trying to wring deadly force from a bag of Chex Mix.**

 **I know what I'm doing here guys, I swear. XD**

 **Poor Cole's gonna have gray hairs by the time he's twenty-one. Trying to balance leadership to simultaneously handle a guy who can barely walk or keep his temper but keeps insisting he's the greatest, and also a guy who spent the last 24 hours being consistently awesome and still feels guilty he's not earning his keep. And then also that third guy over there who just wants to hug everyone.** **This team! Not for the faint of heart.**


	50. We Don't Always Arm Mini-Marts

**Annnnnnnd we hit a square 50! Oh my glob. This is getting out of hand, this is getting VERY out of hand. The concision police are gonna be knocking on my door any day now. XP**

 **But hey, now's a good time to say thank you again to everyone! I appreciate so much that you're sticking with this story and telling me what you think. Your reviews always make my day!**

 **Also! I wanted to give a special thank-you to those who've drawn fanart for this story. Everyone please pleeease go check these artists out—links to their art are on my profile** **—** **and if you have an account on DA/Tumblr/YouTube, show them some love! They're amazing artists and many of them write awesome fanfics on the side, so I can guarantee you some good reading material in the bargain. :3**

 **Okies, now to wrap it up, since we've hit a multiple of 10:**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Ninjago or the characters and places mentioned herein. Except the OCs, whom I sort of rent. And the Lloydfish. The Lloydfish seems to have taken up permanent residence, and I can't convince him to leave.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheAmberShadow: FINALLY! Mannnn, I was seeing your reviews on some of my stories, but they were all finished stories, so I couldn't reply. It was driving me nuts. XD**

 **But now I finally can! So, thank you for all the very sweet reviews you've been leaving, and lemme go though the stories one by one to reply . . .**

 **On this story: PIXAL, as you've probably seen, is still in Zane's head. I'll tolerate almost any ship, Jaya included, but I do like to spice things up with a little Conya and Ronya. The AI theory does make a lot of sense, but I'm not even sure Titanium Zane _has_ the same AI as the original Zane. He seems so different, y'know? The ninja are indeed trouble magnets** **—** **and actually there is a back door! But the building is surrounded on all sides, so no go. :P Aw, that would be really cool, but I think I might have a little too much blood and language to make a good season. Plus not enough villain action. ^_^'' Heh, no, the chapter title was complete! All the chapters are named after memes, and 49 was named after the captions they put on photos sometimes. Like "Your face when your teacher announces a pop quiz," or "Your face when someone you dislike laughs at your joke."**

 **On Ninja Niblets: So you're from a humor family, huh? Cool! I don't know where I get it from, my family is like the opposite of funny. I think I'm just embittered and acerbic and I cope by translating it into humor. :P Yeah, I did hear that Chamille was based on Chameleon! I thought that was pretty clever. Glad you liked the Lloydille. Heh, considering how excited I get just to see Lloydille in a fic, I would probably go stark ravin' insane if it actually became canon. That would be so awesome. X3 Argh, yeah, at the time I was writing, I knew Lloyd would get possessed by a ghost, but I had no idea Cole would actually _become_ a ghost. And Season 7, sadly, has been changed into a 44-minute special called "Day of the Departed." Poor Cole, always getting short-changed. :/**

 **On Enter the Imbroglio: Yes, actually! In this story. :3**

 **On Backstage with Jay: Sure! Feel free to use the Serpentine stuff. Argh, sorry** **—** **I don't enjoy making people cry, but there's something to be said for sad stories sometimes. Wellllll, actually, Jay is definitely not 20. The show's creators have confirmed that the ninja are still teenagers. I have yet to finish gloating about that. XP I don't really dig the adoption angle either, tho. And good news, the next Backstage oneshot is happier!**

 **On Aftermaths: An actual pot of boiling water, yeah. Nuuuuu, don't kill Ronin! He's a scoundrel, but I love him. I dunno, I'd consider Season 5 Lloyd's worst set of failures. He's supposed to be the greatest warrior of all time, a true legend, and instead he gets himself possessed, is useless against the guy who possessed him, gets Cole turned into a freaking ghost (ai yi!), and doesn't even participate in the defeat of the Preeminent. This kid. XD Ah, gotta love him anyway . . .**

 **On Saturniidae: Yeahhh, that was one of the sad ones. ^_^''**

 **Phew. Thanks again for all those reviews! You're a voracious reader, I see. :)**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Lloyd is thinking craaaazy thoughts. I dunno! I guess Jay just needed to quit worrying and let his natural awesomeness bubble to the surface. Hehe, good nicknames! From what I've seen in the early-release clips, though, in Day of the Departed they aren't nice to Cole; they just forget about him entirely. Bad ninja. Baaaaad. :[**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **monranr: Good question! I wonder if he died because of Jay's wish or if he'd die any which way. Heh, well thanks! I try. I may have to go on hiatus pretty soon actually, I'm catching up on the backlog WAY too fast. Eep. :S**

 **o.o.o.o.o.o**

 **Elveron294: They're the worst. Never anger an authorjelly. :P Oh, we're pretty average-sized. Kinda like the jellies you'd see in aquariums or washed up on the beach.**

 **Well hey, if you want it crazy, go for it! It's your show, my friend. :)**

 **Say, did Cole ever find you with that hug?**

 **Hee hee, well thank you. I was overly hyped when I wrote it, but then I liked it and let it stay anyway. :P**

 **Jay is also good for throwing those Tinkertoys at people's heads. And tormenting Lloydfish. So. :P**

 **Oh, Lloydfish are only scary if you're on the wrong end of their unparalleled savagery. Otherwise they're very sweet and squishy.**

 **Ohhh, so that's what those little voices were! XD**

 **That one scene with the flour that was totally the writers being smart-alecs and foreshadowing Season 5. *shakes fist at writers* :P Ahh, poor Cole. Maybe he should grow a beard to go with that white hair, and then he could look like Sensei Wu, eh?**

* * *

 **Sept 16**

 **2:34 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Not just yet**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay with infected wound and cold, Cole lightly wounded, Zane with significant external damage and missing eye, various minor injuries, under seige in convenience store.**

* * *

As Lloyd continued to clatter around in the background, the others considered their new options. Now that they'd decided to use what they could get, everyone's mind turned immediately towards food. The last thing they'd eaten was Lloyd's rats goodness knows how long ago.

There was some half-hearted hesitation, but at last Cole sighed and spread his hands.

"We're going to need energy. Zane, just keep it on our tab, okay?"

That was all the prompting anyone needed. It was a bad day in that store to be a Little Debbie.

"Here, Junior, try this," said Lloyd, unwrapping a package of beef jerky. "Sorry, but this is probably the only meat we're going to find in here."

Junior flicked his tongue curiously over the smoked meat, then took a cautious bite.

"It's kinda weird," he said, but kept eating, working his jaw like a puppy eating peanut butter as bits of jerky stuck between his teeth. Meanwhile Cole was rummaging in one of those freezer chests you often see in convenience stores, filled with individual ice cream cones.

"Hey Jay, it's your favorite!" he called, and tossed something. Jay caught it and read the label; it was a single-serving tub of Snow Dragon watermelon sherbet.

"Very funny," he retorted, and tossed it back. "Not with a cold, and not ever again."

Cole chuckled and resumed digging.

"Weird," he remarked. "All the ice creams in here are past their due dates."

"Really?" Lloyd, who had been lurking among the aisles with a sinister expression and a fistful of pretzels, stopped to read the label on a candy bar. "You're right, this is overdue too."

"These aren't," said Jay, reading the package of sweets they had just finished.

"Jay. Those are Twinkies."

"So? They still go overdue," said Jay. ". . . Twenty years from now . . . "

"You know what else is weird?" said Cole, finally pulling his head out of the freezer. "I don't remember seeing a road anywhere outside the store. I mean, we were all in a rush and it was pouring rain, but I feel like I'd have noticed that."

"One moment. Accessing GPS." Zane's single eye dimmed. "You are correct, Cole. There is only a small dirt road passing by our location. It is not even marked on most maps, but you can faintly see it on Google Ninjago. It probably conducts cart traffic between two villages."

"Okay, this _is_ weird," said Kai. "Who builds a big modern convenience store where there's barely any traffic, then fills it with overdue food?"

"Maybe it's an abandoned convenience store," suggested Jay. "Maybe the Techs chased the owners out so they could build their base in that mountain."

"Or maybe this is some kind of weird discount convenience store, where they sell overdue food cheap to farmers," said Cole. "That would sure be nice. How much _do_ we owe right now, Zane?"

"Assuming no discount, ten thousand two hundred fifty ken."

Cole groaned.

"All right, enough of the fun and games, guys. To war."

They set to work. Kai collected their various blades and sharpened them against each other as best he could. Lloyd gave the others his professional opinion.

"We're in pretty good shape here," he said. "There are a lot of fairly heavy items we could throw—milk jugs, tools, there's a bin of bargain books in the back. Cole, you can probably chuck cash registers at them. Only take the cash out first, coins are perfect for slingshot ammo."

"Slingshots?"

"Yeah. They're selling those little bungee cords you can use to hold things down in your pickup truck, I can work with that. They also have some brooms back there, brooms are good."

"I noticed some high-powered flashlights in that aisle," offered Zane. "I just did some internet research—" clearly he was relishing being back online "—and it appears that as a side effect of Serpentines' superior night vision, their eyes do not adjust to light changes as quickly as human eyes."

"Oh, so that's why Junior couldn't see us when we found him, and why he can't look at our dragons right away," said Kai.

"Correct. Since many of our opponents will be Serpentine, it would probably be quite effective to shine flashlights in their eyes," said Zane.

"Good," said Lloyd approvingly. "You'd make it at Darkley's."

"Is that a good thing?" Zane raised an eyebrow.

"It has its perks."

Junior popped up from behind a shelf, sporting a baseball cap with OBEY emblazoned on the front, and held out a canister of umbrellas.

"What about these?"

"Hmm." Lloyd pulled one out and examined the tip. "Well, they'll make good clubs, and they also look sharp enough to do some decent stabbing. Plus hey, they're on sale, so we won't rack up as much debt if we ruin them."

"Good grief," said Jay. "Show some decency. There's no honor left in the life of a man stabbed by a discount umbrella."

"Fine, we'll take off the sale stickers," said Lloyd. "Better?"

"Better. Regular umbrellas are fine."

"Okay, our sanity is slipping, isn't it?" said Cole wearily. "Be serious, guys. What else can we use in here?"

"Non-dairy creamer burns," offered Zane, rummaging in one of the wall fridges.

"Say what?"

Zane wagged a bottle of creamer at Kai, who held out one hand obligingly. The Nindroid dripped a little of the milky liquid onto Kai's palm, and Kai cautiously lit a flame between his fingers. The creamer went up with a _poof!_

"Ohhh, that'll do," said Kai, grinning.

"Say, there's cases of lip balm over here," called Jay from one aisle over. "The tube kind. We could scatter those to make the floor slippery."

"Right," said Lloyd. "Same with any packs of mints, round candies, or trail mix."

"They're selling motor oil!" said Cole. "That works too, and we could burn it for good measure."

"They have bug spray and stuff. Any use for that?"

"Well, it is an eye irritant," said Lloyd. "Not very humane, but we're not exactly playing nice here."

"Cigarettes? There's tons of those."

"Heh, sure; kill them really slowly. 'Here, smoke this!'" Lloyd chuckled, digging into a glass-door fridge full of drinks. "Eh, let's stick with the quicker options. We're on a schedule here."

Pulling out a bottle of soda, he began to shake it absent-mindedly.

"Cans are probably better for throwing," he said. "Bottles we can hold by the neck and use as clubs, maybe. I mean, back when I was in Darkley's, Gene said you could shake these things and they'd explode when you threw them, but we never got any soda at school and Gene was always the worst liar—"

He tossed the bottle down the aisle idly. It went up in a spectacular spray of fizz and plastic fragments. Lloyd started.

"Woah. He didn't lie!"

"That was actually pretty cool," said Jay, poking a toe gingerly at the foaming puddle spreading across the floor. "We'll have to do that."

"That's another two hundred fifty ken, though," called Zane from across the store. Lloyd sighed.

A few minutes later, as Lloyd was rummaging through a rack of batteries, Junior tugged at his sleeve.

"Unca Lloyd, I have to go to the bafroom."

"Ohh." Lloyd blinked and looked around the convenience store. "Ohh boy."

"He's not the only one," said Jay glumly.

"Well, this is a problem," said Cole, looking around the plain walls. "What kind of store doesn't have a restroom?"

"It's probably outside," said Kai. "A lot of mini-marts have bathrooms on the outside. I don't know if that would be a good idea, though."

"Noooo," said Jay drily. "You think? I mean, there's only guys with sniper rifles out there."

"Actually, I was thinking more that those bathrooms are usually locked, and we don't know where the key is," said Kai. He ducked as Jay threw the empty Twinkie package at his head.

"Well, we don't have a lot of options. Maybe there's a bathroom in the back," said Lloyd, looking at the door to the stockroom.

"Uhh, Lloyd, it _says_ 'Employees Only'." Jay sputtered indignantly as Lloyd led Junior back towards the door. "You can't go in there!"

Lloyd lightly shoved the door, which swung open. He tossed a cheeky glance back to Jay.

"Yeah, I can." He disappeared into the back room, Junior in tow. Jay grumbled, scandalized.

"Lloydfish these days. Absolutely no respect for authority! Next he'll be ignoring the speed limit—"

"'ey guys." Lloyd poked his head out of the stockroom. "Come on Jay, they do have a bathroom back here. And guys, I think I just found out why this store is so weird."

Curious, the others followed him back.

"Woah," breathed Cole. "What the _heck?_ "

"Well, this explains a lot," said Kai.

The room was stacked full of boxes and crates and bags. Half of them were stuffed with electronics, the other half were spilling over with airtight packets of a strange green liquid. Jay's sinuses were clogged, but he could faintly detect a familiar dirty, musky citrus smell. His eyes widened in recognition.

"Is that—"

"Slobber," finished Kai, with a curt nod. He was standing stiffly, clearly unhappy about being here.

"This much?" said Cole. "What is this?"

"It must be one of their storage depots," said Kai. "I get it now. The convenience store is just a front: nobody buys anything, they don't bother to restock the shelves, but hey! They've got a license to do business. Nobody suspects a thing. Meanwhile they can store whatever they want in the back room, smuggle it in easily from the secret base and tunnels nearby."

"Woah," said Jay. "We are _seriously_ in enemy territory."

"We're actually safer in here," said Kai soberly. "They probably don't want to destroy their depot and all the merchandise. It would explain why they haven't strafed the place to the ground with us inside it."

Jay gulped.

Meanwhile Junior poked his head out of the small employee bathroom.

"They don't have soap here," he said woefully.

"Always a new disaster." Lloyd sighed, stepping over. "Oh hey, yeah they do. There's soap right there."

"That weird rock by the sink?"

"Yeah. You've never seen bar soap?"

"Uh-uh. Ours is liquidy."

"Well, I can see why," said Lloyd, watching as Junior tried to use the bar of soap. It barely lathered, and the scales on his hands were soon crisscrossed with soap shavings.

"Humans use dumb soap," said the snakelet grumpily. Chuckling tiredly, Lloyd hoisted him up so he could reach the sink better.

"I think you need some more sleep, kiddo."

There was a crash from the back of the stockroom.

"Woah-ho, you guys!" Cole called. "Our backpacks!"

He dragged out a large cardboard box, into which their backpacks had been tossed. Everyone dug in eagerly, checking if their stuff was still in there. It had clearly been rummaged through, and their communicators were gone, but everything else seemed to be in place.

"Well shoot," said Cole. "We could have eaten our rations instead of racking up a debt by eating store food."

"I dunno," said Kai. "Given a choice between year-old protein bars and a box of Twinkies . . . "

Meanwhile Jay dug out their first-aid kit and gratefully slugged down a dose of antihistamine. He would very much like to have a functioning nasal passage again.

"At least we have our whetstones back," said Kai. "Now we can really get our weapons in shape. We're gonna need 'em."

* * *

They returned to the main store and got seriously to work on their defenses. They pushed the shelves into a fortress in the middle of the store, leaving only one small gap to enter through. Then they stocked the inside of the fortress with suitable weapons, emptying the fridges and shelves of bottles, cans, and boxes.

"You're going to be our supply manager, okay Junior?" said Lloyd. "It's gonna be really dangerous outside the shelves, but in here you should be safer. And you'll have an important job—we'll need you to protect Meep and Mopp, guard the weaponry, and make sure nobody runs out of ammunition. Think you can handle that?"

"Uh-huh!" Junior puffed up his small chest proudly and clambered onto a stack of soda boxes. He perched there, watching the sparks fly from the metal and stone as Kai gave all their blades a proper sharpening. Meanwhile, Cole was hanging keychains on a string in front of all the doors and windows: if they couldn't keep an eye on all the entrances at once, the jingling should warn them of incoming Technicians. Lloyd and Zane were busily at work dumping out the contents of bottles of window-cleaning fluid, then filling them with a mixture of water, soap, and hot sauce.

"What most people don't know about homemade pepper spray," said Lloyd, screwing on a spray cap, "is that you have to add soap. The stuff that makes pepper spray hot, capsaicin, is an oil, so it would just float on top of the water. It wouldn't spray very well. Soap breaks it all up and helps them mix—plus it's no fun getting soap in your eyes either, so that's an added bonus."

"Remind me to stay on this kid's good side," said Cole.

Meanwhile Jay was pouring motor oil on the floor in the stockroom, making a path from the back door.

"Nobody step inside the tape," he said sternly, marking the edges of the spill with bright orange duct tape. "That means you too, aliens. This skidway is only for bozos who try to break in through the back door. Now we can focus on defending the front door and windows."

"Stack some boxes in front of the door to delay them," called Lloyd. "And then a tower of them at the end of the skidway. Put light ones on the bottom and heavy ones on the top, to make it unstable. Then spread some glue or jelly on them, and on the wall. All that combined should give them a pretty hard time."

Jay nodded, swiping a sleeve under his nose, and grabbed the nearest box. He slipped into a woozy rhythm of grabbing and stacking, trying to ignore the swimmy feeling in his head. He was too hyped on adrenaline right now to feel very sick, but the fever daze was making its presence known a little.

He grabbed a particularly heavy box and hoisted it as high as he could, aiming to put it on top of the stack. For a moment the floor shifted beneath him, and he began to tilt backwards, wobbling. Then he felt a firm pressure between his shoulderblades, nudging him back upright.

"Thanks, Meep," he murmured, plunking the final box in its place. "Gosh, where did you get so filthy?"

Meep flopped a tentacle abstractly. Jay looked across the room, where Mopp was crawling around on the floor getting into all the dustiest corners. He sighed.

"Well, I guess we have worse problems than dirty aliens right now."

Eventually they had set up all the traps they could think of and stockpiled everything that could be used as a weapon. Zane announced that their tab now equaled twenty thousand eight hundred ken, what with all the minor vandalism and scraping of floor tiles. The rain continued to rumble on the roof, creating glowing droplets on the darkened windows of the store, but otherwise the outdoors seemed ominously silent. There was only one ground-level window, towards the back, and everyone stayed well away from that one. Instead Kai stacked some boxes on top of a shelf and looked through the small windows near the ceiling. He pulled out their one pair of night-vision binoculars and squinted out into the darkness.

"Oh damn."

Lloyd made a reproachful noise, which Kai ignored. The others shifted uneasily, waiting, as Kai swung the binoculars back and forth.

"Oh, this is great," he said bleakly. "There's like fifty of them at least."

"What are they doing?" asked Cole.

"I dunno, lurking. Setting up. More of them keep arriving." Kai gave a dark chuckle. "They're bringing in a bazooka. We must have them _really_ scared."

"Little old us, huh?" said Jay, laughing weakly.

"Do they look like they're about to charge?" said Cole.

"Not really," said Kai. "They're not all looking at the store or anything. They're probably still massing their forces for an all-out attack. It's not like we're gonna get away in the meantime."

"True." Cole sighed. "I guess all we can do is wait. Find something to keep busy with, guys. Try to relax."

"Relax?" said Jay disbelievingly. "When surrounded by murderous maniacs with bazookas, what does one do to _relax?_ "

"I dunno, do what you want," said Cole. "I'm gonna shave."

"You are not serious."

"They have razors!"

"What is wrong with this person?" asked Jay of the open air, as Cole nicked a can of shaving cream and disappeared into the back room. The open air offered no answer, so Jay sighed and dropped the subject. There was a glum silence, except for the rain and Cole running the sink.

"So if we have some spare time," said Jay at length. "Do you think there's something we can do for my shoulder?"

* * *

"Holy. _Cow,_ Jay," said Kai, capping the peroxide bottle. "Sepsis, sepsis, sepsis. Tetanus and gangrene and MRSA. _How_ have you not said anything about this yet? You could die!"

"Shut up," gritted Jay, trying to steady his breathing. Although there was nothing they could do for the deeper wound infection, they had decided to at least sterilize the outside by pouring hydrogen peroxide on it. Jay could still see stars dancing at the edges of his vision.

"I'm serious, Jay." Kai felt at the lightning ninja's forehead, looking grim. "You're feverish. If you weren't sneezing, I'd say you had sepsis already."

"Go 'way." Jay tried to push Kai's hand away, but came up short as his shoulder burned with the movement. "Don' make this weird and awkward."

"Force of habit," said Kai, unrepentant. "Do you know how often Nya used to run fevers?"

Jay mumbled, gingerly slipping his shirt back on. He knew disinfecting the wound was the best thing to do, but _man_ that had hurt. Zane helped him to his feet and hugged him solemnly.

. . . Okay, so he took back what he'd thought about Zane picking up too many reasons to hug people. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Luckily Junior had missed the more gruesome aspects of the procedure. He was watching with shock and awe as Cole tried to shave.

"You really have to do _that,_ every day?" he asked for the third time.

"Yeah, kiddo, yeah." Cole sighed long-sufferingly, spitting out a mouthful of shaving cream lather. "Unless you want a beard."

"You really just grow hair out of your face?"

"If you're a man, yeah."

"That's creepy." Junior shuddered. Cole rolled his eyes and made a threatening dabbing motion with a glob of shaving cream. Junior backed away, giggling.

* * *

The minutes ground by. Lloyd fixed up a little bed for Junior inside the shelf fortress out of potato chip bags and packs of discount paper towel. Jay scooped up Mopp, sighing, and took him to the back room.

"Well, let's get you guys cleaned up. Crawling around in mud is your thing now, huh? You've been hanging around Cole too long."

"What's that about me?" called Cole jokingly.

"Look what you've done to my aliens," said Jay. "Creatures of filth."

"What can I say, I'm a good influence."

Mopp burred impatiently and bonked Jay with a tentacle again.

"Baaad alien. Use your words." Jay plopped Mopp into the sink and began to run water over him, rubbing off layers of mud and dust. "Behold the ancient ritual, passed down through times untooold; the ritual cleansing of the aaaliennnnnns . . . "

"Are you okay?" asked Cole amusedly.

"I know, I know." Jay stopped singing and gave a woozy laugh. "Agh. 's been a long day, okay? Long night, I mean. 's night. And the anithistamine's not doin' me any favors . . . "

Cole chuckled understandingly and leaned against the doorframe to watch as Jay rinsed Mopp down. The alien squirmed under his hands and screeched, still flailing his tentacles around. Jay noticed that three of them were now bunched up, instead of just one.

"Hey, what's up with this?" he asked, gently tugging at one of the curled limbs. "Everything okay?"

The tentacle promptly unclenched, dropping a small white rock into Jay's palm. Mopp brought up the other two bunched limbs to give Jay two more white rocks. Then he settled down in the sink and looked meaningfully up at him, chirping in relief. He was clearly pleased that he _finally_ got Jay's attention on this subject.

Jay blinked down at the three white rocks in his hands. Then he turned and held them out to Cole, his eyes wide. "Is this . . . ?"

Cole peered over and tapped at each pebble, turning them over. He smiled.

"Yep, this one's limestone."

"Holy—" Jay looked at Mopp. "Have you been looking for white rocks all this time? Just so I could bring Nya some limestone?"

" _Eee-up_." Mopp twitched as if shrugging. Jay swallowed, feeling a goofy smile spreading across his face.

"Mopp, you are incredible," he said, scooping up the dripping alien and squishing him enthusiastically. "The best. I can't even tell you."

Meep chirped indignantly, demanding that his contribution be acknowledged—he had probably told Mopp the rock was lost in the first place. Cole shook his head.

"I _really_ need to see how this whole limestone kick of yours works out."

"Ohh, you'll see."

Jay chuckled knowingly and slipped the limestone away for safekeeping. Then he felt the flash drive already in that pocket and switched to the other side. Man. Awesome improbable gift for Nya in one pocket, treasury of secret Technician files in the other—he was feeling pretty rich right now.

* * *

Junior fell asleep. Most of the others dozed. Kai stayed atop the boxes, hidden under a blanket, watching the Technicians through the night-vision binoculars.

Lloyd clambered up the boxes and came squirming in under the blanket. Kai flicked a glance at him, then glued his eyes back to the binocular lenses.

"A lot of 'em?" whispered Lloyd.

"Yeah." Kai made a resigned sound. "These binoculars are really good. I can recognize some of those guys."

"Really?"

"Yeah. There's that one guy who was always all nervous whenever he was giving me batches to hide. I can't believe he's still going, everyone was sure he'd have a heart attack within the month."

"Yikes," said Lloyd.

"Mm. And then there's Bucky . . . Spinetail . . . bunch of guys I don't know . . . Ohhhhh, and there's old P'torra." Kai lowered the binoculars to give Lloyd a smirk. "He stayed too long in the egg and was hatched with six eyes."

"Go _on_."

"I'm serious. Straight-up six instead of four. One of 'em was blind though."

Lloyd chuckled skeptically, shaking his head.

"I'll give you this much, you sure know some interesting people."

"Interesting. Hah." Kai looked out into the night with a rueful chuckle. "They'll sure be interesting when they're swarming in here looking for our blood."

"They'd hurt you too? Even though they know you?"

"Heck sure. Most of those guys are from the slobber trade, and in that trade you've gotta be ready to kill your best friend. And I was barely even a casual acquaintance."

Lloyd dropped his chin to the back of his hands, pensive.

"You know, if there's so many of them . . . " he said at last.

"Yeah?"

Lloyd was quiet for a moment.

"Mm . . . never mind." He elbowed Kai lightly, looking away. "Hey. For Pug, right?"

Kai hesitated, his eyes cloudy, but at last laughed softly and reached over to ruffle Lloyd's hair.

"For all the naïve little dorks in the world."

"You know others?" said Lloyd. Kai chuckled, and Lloyd gave a feeble smile in return.

Actually he'd been about to suggest that he just recite that spell he apparently had memorized so well, just wipe out all the Techs simultaneously. But he was glad he'd caught himself, because that was definitely a lousy idea.

. . . Honestly he wasn't sure why he'd ever considered it.

* * *

 **Textchat:** **(with expletives censored, because these are villains and they have no class.)**

 **CapsLock:** HOLY FRICK, what is this emergency signal I'm getting? It's freaking four AM! What's this I'm hearing about the ninja invading Base 4 and holing up in the convenience store? Is it true? Is it them?

 **CapsLock:** Blue? Blue, answer me right freaking now.

 **BlueScreen:** Yeah. It's them. Do not ask me to talk about it.

 **CapsLock:** YOU SAID THEY WERE DEAD.

 **BlueScreen:** They will be. Send me one more message and you will be too.

 **BlueScreen:** Now shut up and make yourself useful. We need to clear all the equipment out of Base 4 and demolish it before the cops show up. That kind of **** is your job. I'm sending two squadrons to move the stuff. You tell them how to get it to the emergency base and make sure they set the demolition charges right. That mountain needs to be blasted in by seven AM this morning. Absolutely no sign of the tunnels leading to it. You hear me?

 **CapsLock:** On it. I've got our emergency backup location on standby. I'm not sure how fast I can get it ready at this hour, though . . .

 **BlueScreen:** Make it happen. I've already got another two squadrons surrounding the convenience store. We'll take care of the slimy geckos.

 **CapsLock:** No! Don't level the store!

 **CapsLock:** If we blow up Base 4 Silica will understand we had to cover the evidence, but how are you gonna explain blowing up the store? She'll know you were trying to kill the ninja!

 **CapsLock:** Don't do it!

 **BlueScreen:** Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on. There's a ton of merchandise in there anyway, both yours and mine, I don't wanna level it any more than you do. Doesn't take blowing up the _whole_ store just to kill a few ninja. She won't know.

 **CapsLock:** Phew. All right. I just heard back from our backup location, they're ready to receive the stuff from Base 4. The squadrons have started moving stuff through the tunnels and by chopper, I think we can finish the job by 7. God this is a hassle.

 **CapsLock:** Hey, and we'd better delete all our messages now, before Silica gets into the textchat.

 **Silica:** Too late.

 **Silica:** **** both of you, I can't believe this. Blue, I'm not warning you again. Killing as a LAST RESORT ONLY. If those ninja have seen too much, I want them captured, not killed. GOT IT?

 **Silica:** I swear, you hurt those guys, and you are out of this project, you hear me? Fired! Absolutely no share in the proceeds once this is over! Do you understand?

 **Silica:** BlueScreen, answer me this ****ing minute.

 **Silica:** You hear me?

 **Silica:** BLUE!

* * *

 **A/N:** **Ohey, a villain. *pokes at***

 **Thanks to Destiny Willowleaf, Skylark Starflower, and NinjaGlader for suggesting extra convenience store weapons! And to Moonlight mm123 for advice on keeping kiddos out of the danger zone.**

 **By the way, I'm gonna be posting one more chapter, and then I think I'll take a week off. Sorry fellas, but I'm running out of material FAST here.**

 **On a mildly related note, however, I'll be posting another bonus one-shot in "Backstage with Jay" soon. Kai holds an educational seminar on slobber. Fun times, eh?**


	51. But When We Do, it's Spectacular

**Haiiiiii guys! How was everyone's Halloween? Anyone got thoughts on "Day of the Departed"?**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Thanks for the review! Heh, well, Kai worries about all his teammates when they're injured, because he is Assistant Dad. Cole is Chief Dad, and then Wu is Grand High Master Dad. Between the three of them they do enough worrying for the entire population of New Ninjago City.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Ah, they'll be fine! Woah, go easy on those Technicians** **—** **the ninja are going to enough trouble trying _not_ to kill them. :P**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheAmberShadow: I'm full of surprises! You're welcome. :) Heh, Silica's a _girl_. But yeah, she's having some trouble keeping her supposed underlings under control. I have no idea why LEGO changed it to a special, but it wasn't as bad as it could be! Seen it yet?**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Elveron294: Aww, no worries! It's only one week. I like chatting with you too!**

 **And I'm not wrapping up the story for . . . eh, at least another forty chapters, the way things are going. XD I just meant I was wrapping up the long author's note.**

 **Hmm, interesting! What are the habits of the Authorwolf? I think I'd like to be an Author-Platypus. Weird and venomous and hunts for small crustaceans with electric nose. Can't lose, right? :P**

 **Ooh, the documentary? Cool! Can't wait. :3**

 ***Villainopus begins to bob to a sinister beat, playing boss-battle music***

 **Lawsy! Well, the fandom is very much indebted to you for making it canon. Gracious though, you are feeding him, right? XD**

 **This is very true. Maybe I should present to a teaching hospital as a case study for authorbunny infection. XD**

 **A truly venerable fish among fishes! Although Jay would probably insist on calling him a SenseiColeWalrus. :P**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **EmritTheSpirit: Hi there! I assume you're seeing this, since you said you read FMW** **—so, thanks very much! Glad you're enjoying. :) Heh, is that a one-shot request, you mean? Those are kiiiinda closed right now, since I said the limit was 5 and I've already gone past that. I'm starting to have time issues back here. ^_^'' But don't worry, there'll probably be more of those moments in this story! Like I said, Kai is Assistant Dad. :3**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Ninja Pony: Beware the Lloydfish? Nahhhh! If you're not a jerk (or a plump rat), you've got nothing to fear from Lloydfish. They're very sweet when they're not on the hunt.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **ShinyShiny Fan: Woah, man! That's, uh, quite the username. ^_^'' Um, well, questions are open, but requests are closed, I'm afraid . . . I set a cap on them, I've got a lot of other stuff going on. Sorry! Interesting idea, though. :)**

* * *

 **Sept 16**

 **6:45 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Still suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay with infected wound and cold, Cole lightly wounded, Zane with significant external damage and missing eye, various minor injuries, under siege in convenience store.**

* * *

A gray dawn oozed in through the store's rain-splattered windows. Kai was still stationed atop the boxes, giving himself a headache from binocular squint.

"They're all just standing there," he muttered. "They're waiting on purpose, wearing us down. They're trying to make us sweat." He looked back over his shoulder and smiled in spite of himself. "They're failing."

Cole was curled up under a rain poncho, his breath coming in soft puffs. Jay was sopping at his nose with a tissue and clearly weighing whether it would be worth his life to drip ginger ale down Cole's ear. Zane was showing Junior how to build a card house using a pack of store cards, with fascinated spectatorship from the aliens, and Lloyd was sprawled on his back reading a book from the store's bargain bin.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Zane mildly, as Jay fiddled with the cap on a ginger ale bottle.

"Awwww." Jay tossed the bottle aside and flopped back. He craned his neck, trying to see Lloyd's book. Then he blinked.

"Waaaait. Is that _Twilight?_ "

"Ya." Lloyd yawned. "It was in the bargain bin. I figured I'd see what all the fuss was about."

"Have you no self-respect?" said Jay indignantly. "Put that down right now."

"No."

"Unacceptable! No brother of mine is gonna read Twilight." Jay crawled over and attempted to pry the book out of Lloyd's hands. Lloyd held it away from him with a sound of protest, then attempted to jab him with the corner of the cover.

"Come off it Jay, let the kid read what he wants." Kai slid down from his box tower.

"It's a matter of principle," grumbled Jay. He sat and scowled deeply at Lloyd as the younger ninja continued to read. "Is it at least good?"

"Eh, it's okay, I guess. I was expecting more fang action."

"You are messed-up, pal."

Junior and Zane's card house was fast becoming a card mansion. They were on their third pack of cards by now, and Junior had to stand atop a stack of soda boxes to continue placing them.

"It's taller than my daddy now!" said Junior, stretching to reach the peak. "Just one . . . more . . . "

He overbalanced, sending the soda-box tower toppling. Zane caught the snakelet safely, but the boxes crashed to the floor with an unnecessary amount of commotion. Cole bolted awake.

"What? What? What? Are we under attack?!" he demanded.

"Not yet, Cole," chuckled Kai. Cole rubbed one eye and looked bewilderedly around at the cards still fluttering everywhere.

Suddenly the room jolted with the sound of exploding glass. The ground-floor window burst into a barrage of sharp crystals as a bullet lodged itself in the opposite wall of the room.

"I stand corrected," said Kai.

Jay swung to his feet along with the others, his heart pounding. Outside he could hear a rising thunder of voices, swelling steadily into the babble of an angry mob. For the first time it dawned on him fully that they were about to face dozens of bloodthirsty criminals with guns and explosives, using a handful of ninja weapons, some elements, and some groceries.

Ho boy.

"Junior, get in the fort, take the aliens, stay there," barked Cole. "Jay, Kai, guard the back door! Lloyd, Zane, you're with me in here!"

Junior was already diving for cover in the shelf fortress, and the aliens seemed all too happy to join him. Kai looked a little miffed at being sent to the back, where the fighting was likely to be less intense, but he knew he'd have to take it easy on his leg during this battle. Cole would have benched him completely if they had any choice in the matter.

"Watch out for the glass!" warned Lloyd, pulling Cole back. "It's all over the place."

"I'll take care of it!" Zane launched into a Spinjitzu funnel and whirled towards the window, drawing up the broken glass littering the floor. His gleaming white tornado grew unusually sparkly, mixing the usual whistle of elemental energy with the clink of glass fragments scraping Zane's titanium shell.

He spun to a halt, the glass jingling to the floor around him, and looked around. Cole and Lloyd were struggling to hold the window as several Serpentine tried to push their way through.

"Back away!" called Zane, and came whirling over. Cole and Lloyd skittered back hastily as Zane's glass-filled Spinjitzu funnel stationed itself before the window. The Serpentine tried to press past it, but quickly found reason to change their minds. Cole cringed as the white tornado briefly acquired a brilliant red stripe, scattering droplets of blood.

"Well, they give us broken glass . . . "

"Come on!" Lloyd was already heaving at a nearby shelf. "Zane can't Spinjitzu forever, we have to keep them out some other way!"

Meanwhile Jay and Kai were already facing difficulties in the back room. The stack of boxes against the door turned out to have little effect—the roaring horde outside was steadily battering it open.

"Look out!" cried Jay as the muzzle of a rifle poked through the narrow opening. He and Kai both drew off to the sides, where they couldn't be hit. The rifle's owner soon poked his head in as well; a Constrictai, squinting around with hard eyes as he tried to pinpoint his targets.

"Heads up!" Jay clambered up the stack of boxes that was supposed to be holding the door shut and waved to Kai. Kai heaved him a box of soup cans; it nearly knocked Jay backwards, but he recovered his balance and dropped the box over the door onto the Constrictai's head. It knocked him cold instantaneously.

"Ha!" Jay muffled a sneeze. "We need a snazzy pun about cans. You think of one, I am _not_ in any condition right now—"

Suddenly a man rammed his way through the half-open door, slipping over the Serpentine's unconscious form and tumbling neatly to a halt. He grinned at Kai, brandishing a large machete-style knife.

"Oh snap!" gasped Jay, and leaped down to help his teammate—but he forgot that the floor by the doorway had been greased. As soon as he landed he went sprawling.

Meanwhile the Technician caught sight of Kai's splinted leg and gave a harsh chuckle. Springing forward, he swung the machete. Kai parried with his katana, then struck out and was parried in turn. Metal clashed for a moment as Kai and the Technician circled each other, probing for openings.

Then without warning the man kicked out at Kai's shin, shattering the splint. Kai gave an involuntary bark of pain, his leg giving out beneath him. With a snarl, the Technician dove at him, driving him back against the wall, machete flashing for Kai's throat. Jay froze halfway to his feet, certain that he was about to see his friend decapitated.

Instead the machete blade stopped. Kai had blocked it with his katana at the last second, his wrist twisted at an awkward angle. The machete's edge grazed Kai's throat, drawing tiny dabs of blood as his hand shook, struggling to counteract the force of the Technician's arm. The man snorted darkly and tossed a meaningful smirk back to Jay. The lightning ninja stayed petrified, helpless. He knew perfectly well that any sudden movement from him would cause the Technician to finish the job.

"What now?" grinned the man, turning back to Kai. Kai scowled back at him, his eyes narrowed. His jaw tightened momentarily, and Jay thought he heard a soft pop—then without warning Kai blew a spray of green liquid into the Technician's face. The man gave a shriek and fell back, dropping his blade. Kai pushed himself away from the wall and spat, gagging slightly.

"Can not even _tell_ you how satisfying that was," he said, giving Jay a dry grin. Almost as an afterthought he bent down to tap his panicking opponent in the jaw, knocking him cold.

"What did you _do?_ " sputtered Jay.

"Those little packets of venom." Kai waved at the boxes stacked around them. "I hid one in my mouth. Instant human Venomari!"

"You're gonna get high off that stuff!"

"Nahhh. The mouth has a lot of good mucus and enzymes and stuff in it, it'll protect me for a few doses. I think."

"'Good mucus'?" Jay raised an eyebrow.

"That's what I said. Don't quote me on it. Also, don't try this yourself, you've never been slobber-high before. You wouldn't know when to quit."

A fresh wave of Technicians came barging through the door, and the two ninja dove to hold them back. Jay yelped as a shot whizzed past their ears. He tried to summon a bolt of electricity to knock out the Technician responsible, but again he couldn't seem to pull any lightning forth. He growled in frustration, shaking his hand furiously.

More Technicians wormed their way in. The door was opening further and further, and the stack of boxes leaning against it was looking ready to topple.

"Don't just stand there, Jay!" called Kai, herding back the press of enemies with fistfuls of fire.

"I'm trying!" Jay protested. Giving up on the lightning, he plowed forward into the fray with his nunchucks. Man, he kinda wished Meep would pull that fancy transformation thing again right about now . . .

"Hey you guys!" Lloyd came swooping in, preceded by an energy globe. "Thought I'd see how you're doing!"

"How does it look?" said Kai.

"Worse than the main room." Lloyd grabbed some crates and began tossing them against the door, trying to force it closed again or at least keep it from opening any more. "We've piled more shelves against the front doors and the window, then we doused them with oil and creamer. Everything is on fire."

"I thought I smelled smoke."

"Yeah. A couple of the Techs are still squeezing through, but we've got 'em under control. Junior and the aliens are throwing things like maniacs back there."

Zane's voice drifted from beyond the door to the main room.

"Speaking of which: Assuming you two did not damage anything back there, we currently owe sixty thousand four hundred and eighty-five ken."

Everyone groaned.

"Can we get some help on this door?" called Kai. "It's not holding!"

Zane came barging into the stockroom and swept a sheet of ice over the door, freezing it in place. It was still half-open, however.

"Change of plans!" Lloyd started to throw boxes and crates into the doorway. The others joined him, piling up boxes as fast as they could with Technicians constantly trying to batter them down. Jay beat back a guy who was climbing through one of the gaps.

"Go on!" he said irately, as the guy put up a fight. "Get!"

Lloyd skidded over and dealt the guy a few clubs with a large book, which upset him enough that the ninja managed to bundle him out the door. Jay glanced at the book's cover.

"Okay, I take it back," he said. "There's some merits to Twilight."

Lloyd chuckled absent-mindedly and cast about for another box to block the gap. His eyes went momentarily distant, as if he was listening to the howling of the Technicians outside.

Just at that moment, a snake came bursting through the boxes in a roaring explosion of scales and teeth and reptilian eyes. His jaws nearly closed over Lloyd's head; they would have done so if the ninja hadn't fallen backwards with a squawk.

"Get out!" Zane hurled a soda bottle, which exploded against the snake's nose. He hissed and recoiled. Kai jammed a box into the gap left behind, then looked back to Lloyd and laughed breathlessly.

"Told you he had six eyes."

"YIKES!" yelped Jay as another gunshot tore through the stack of boxes. "It's not holding! It's NOT HOLDING!"

Zane frantically tried to freeze the mound of boxes in place, but it was already too late. Cole skidded into the back room just as the top of the mound fell away completely and a mass of Technicians came pouring in.

"Get back!" bellowed Cole. "Hold the main room. Hold the main room!"

Jay turned to retreat. From the corner of his eye he saw Lloyd staring at the collapsing boxes, a strange look in his eyes, barely even backing away. His lips were moving silently.

"Lloyd, what are you doing? Move!" shouted Jay, swinging back and dragging at Lloyd's arm. The green ninja seemed to snap out of some kind of daze. Shaking his head furiously, he wheeled around and followed Jay out.

They tore out of the stockroom and dove to snatch more shelves, hoisting them against the "Employees Only" door. Normally it would have been unimaginable to block the doorway fast enough, but to their great good fortune the flood of Technicians was undermining itself. They were all pushing very enthusiastically and with great numbers against a pull door.

"Fizzims preserve us all," panted Cole, in the few seconds of bought time. "Oh man."

"Are they comin' in?" called Junior, peering with wide eyes over the wall of the shelf fortress—which had gotten significantly smaller as the ninja kept stealing shelves to barricade doors and windows.

"We'll stop them June, stay down, stay down," said Lloyd. "Be ready with those soda bottles!"

Junior nodded and ducked out of sight again.

"Hate to be ungrateful, but this splint kinda sucks," said Kai "I'm marked as a lamekin. Everyone goes straight for me."

Cole was going to say something, but at this point the Technicians grew impatient and ripped the door off its hinges. They had to clamber over the shelf barricade one or two at a time, but that was plenty fast enough.

"Go go go!" shouted Kai, and they all hurled themselves at the advancing forces. Chaos blossomed as fighters spilled all over the store, slamming each other against shelves, tripping over spilled merchandise and shattered soda bottles.

"Keep them contained! Keep them by the door!" Cole shouted over the uproar. "Don't let them spread out!"

A Venomari pounced from the top of the shelf barricade, teeth flashing. Cole stumbled and fell back onto one elbow; he knocked the snake out almost instantly, but not before a spray of venom caught him across the cheek.

"Hold still!" Zane quickly finished one of his own opponents and hastened to empty a bottle of soda over Cole's head. The earth ninja spluttered, dripping but venom-free.

"Thanks, I . . . think," he told the Nindroid.

"That brings us to one hundred thousand two hundred twenty-four ken," said Zane, and dashed on to the next opponent.

"Did I really have to know that?" Cole shouted after him.

"There's so many!" wailed Jay meanwhile, throwing a flashlight despairingly into the fray. At the last second he realized a woman was coming at him from the left. Thinking fast, he yanked open a nearby freezer door and let the Technician slam against it. "And did I mention I'm fighting without powers here?!"

He didn't get any answer; there was too much madness going on elsewhere in the room. Jay groaned, shaking his head as he took the chaos in. Who were they kidding? They were so madly outnumbered it was—

The Technician he'd hit with a door was apparently not fully unconscious. She lurched to her feet and tackled Jay from behind, shoving him into another Technician. They all went down in a highly dangerous tangle.

"Not cool! Not fair! All the objections!" growled Jay, flailing his nunchucks wildly. For a second he was aware of a miserable scratching sensation in his nose; then he sneezed. Electricity blazed every which way, throwing back the two Techs Jay had been fighting. Sniffling, he sat up and looked at his hands. To his delight, twin crackles of lightning blazed obediently to life in his palms.

"Aw yeah! Now we're talking!" Scrabbling to his feet, he went forth to engineer some more chaos.

Kai was starting to legitimately falter. His leg sent stars shooting across his vision with every step, sometimes caving beneath him entirely. He could barely focus on the fight raging around him.

He did notice the guy clambering over the shelf fortress, though.

"Get back here!"

Forgetting about his leg, Kai vaulted over the shelf. Junior was pressed back into a corner, his eyes wide with terror as the Technician leveled a handgun at him. With a snarl, Kai tackled the gunman to the floor, wrenching at the gun. The guy had a strong grip, though; he jerked back his elbow, throwing Kai off and rolling to his feet. Kai was already forcing his arms back over his head. The guy twisted away, throwing his weight back to pull Kai forward, then slammed him sideways against a shelf. Before Kai could recover his balance the Technician had kicked his good foot out from underneath him, sending him reeling. One more blow sent him crashing back through a stack of soda boxes, dizzy with pain.

With a quiet snort, the Technician pulled up his handgun and aimed.

"Hold very still."

Kai lay where he'd fallen, one arm twisted underneath him. He watched silently as the gun's barrel wavered only a few feet before him.

"You have two choices," said the Technician. "Call off your friends right now and tell them to surrender. Orrrr . . ."

Kai said nothing. The battle raging around the shelf fortress buzzed indistinctly, outside the scope of this small icy moment.

"Make it quick," said the Technician sharply.

There was a soft scuffling, and Junior suddenly darted from behind a pack of paper towels, skittering to Kai's side.

"You leave him 'lone!" he hissed, his voice shaky.

The gun skipped. The man's finger twitched on the trigger. Heaven only knows what prevented him from reflexively pulling it. He flicked his hard gaze between Kai and the snakelet, then shifted his aim slightly to cover both of them.

"Junior," whispered Kai despairingly. The snakelet crouched low beside him, his small fingers digging into an overturned soda box as he glared up at the Technician.

"Look into my eyes . . . "

Kai tried say something, but never made it to words. He watched in silence as Junior's eyes began to rotate smoothly, his voice dropping into a soothing drone.

"You are _mine_."

The Technician stood frozen where he was, his gun hand sagging ever so slightly. He couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from Junior's eyes. Kai waited, waited for the spell to break and the Technician to snap awake and shoot them both.

"Be ssssstill," whispered Junior. "Be at peace. I control you . . . "

Slowly the man's eyes glazed over. His arms drew back, cradling the handgun in a relaxed position by his chest.

"You are . . . mine . . . " Junior stopped spinning his eyes and hesitated, waiting for his victim to move. He didn't. Blinking, Junior dropped out of the trance state. He sized the hypnotized man up for a moment, his eyes widening.

"Drop the gun?" he ventured at last.

The weapon clattered harmlessly to the floor. Junior was stunned into silence for another moment; then he looked around.

"Now, uh . . . you, uh, you have to do whatever Kai tells you!" He smiled hopefully at Kai.

Silence. The man looked at them with those creepy glazed eyes. Kai sat up cautiously.

"Okay son, siddown."

The man sat down, crossing his legs neatly. Kai blinked.

"Gosh _dangit_ , Junior!" he finally burst out. The snakelet leaped at him with a joyous squeal.

"Did I do good? Did I?"

"You were great!" laughed Kai, hugging him. "Beyond awesome."

"I didn't even scream!" said Junior proudly.

"Ech, kid, this is one of those times when you probably _should_ scream." Kai smiled tiredly, gingerly hoisting himself to his feet. "But seriously, nice job!"

Just at this moment Jay came plowing into the shelf fortress.

"Dangit Kai, there you are, we thought you were—AGH!" He prepared to clobber the Technician with his nunchucks.

"No!" cried Kai. Jay caught himself at the last moment and gave him a blank look.

"Hypnosis victim," said Kai, grinning. Junior puffed himself up proudly.

"No wayyyyyy." Jay looked at the Tech again. "Woah ho! Well this is awesome! We can send this guy to fight the other Techs!"

"Ahhh, no, I dunno . . . " said Kai. When Jay looked at him, the fire ninja shook his head and tilted it at the battle outside, then made a slashing motion across his throat. Jay cringed as he caught the meaning: if they sent this hypnotized dude against the other Technicians, they wouldn't hesitate to kill him.

"Okay, we've gotta get back to fighting," said Kai to Junior. "Stay here, okay? You're doing a great job providing those soda bottles in time." Then he turned to the Tech. "Okay bud. Your job is to protect this snake kid. Anyone tries to hurt him, you get them, all right?"

The Technician nodded curtly.

"If he wakes up or something, _then_ you scream," said Kai to Junior, and headed back to the battle.

The Technicians kept coming, mostly through the open back door-the front door and window were still blocked by flaming shelves. The ninja were knocking them out almost as fast as they came swarming in.

That "almost" was becoming a key issue.

"We are losing ground," called Zane, ducking a haymaker. "I estimate at the current rate we will be overwhelmed in roughly twenty minutes."

"Ohh, well that's heartening!"

"Hang in there, guys!" called Cole. He was starting to show the strain as much as anyone, but he kept on pushing. He knew his team could pull off some pretty incredible stuff under impossible odds.

Still.

This wasn't looking too hot.

Lloyd was leaning back against the outside of the shelf fortress, breathing shallowly. His eyes were glazing over in a way they really should not when there was a battle raging on every side. He looked hazily around at the enemies piling in. There was a quicker way to end this . . .

For reasons unknown, Mopp saw fit to climb on top of one of the shelves. This was not safety, as far as alien protocols went, and usually Mopp was very good about such things. But now he flopped his way along the top of the shelf and poked at Lloyd's head.

" _Arwoo._ "

Lloyd's breath hitched. His tongue flicked over his lips.

" _Komoto,_ " he whispered. " _Nictu. Demictara . . ._ "

" _Rawwgh!_ " Mopp bunched himself up in displeasure and punched Lloyd with one tentacle. " _Oi! Oiiiiiii._ "

" _Persona. Demaru_."

" _EeeeeEEEEE!_ " Sensing that something wasn't right, Mopp wailed for backup. Jay seemed to have habituated to being called by the last phoneme of his name, because he looked up and fought his way over.

"Ey, what's the big deal?"

Lloyd blinked at him distantly. Jay tried to say something, but sneezed instead. Lightning jolted through Mopp, who didn't bat an eyelid, and Lloyd, who gave a yelp and jumped away.

"Gahhh." Jay dragged a hand down his face, sniffling. He looked worriedly at Lloyd, who was looking dazed and rubbing his head. "Oh gosh. Did I hurt you?"

"N-no, I'm . . . I'm fine . . . " Lloyd shook his head violently.

"Are you sure? We kinda need you, kid." Jay motioned at the battle around them. "We're _kinda_ getting overwhelmed!"

Lloyd gulped, looking around. They were about to be surrounded.

"On it!" he said, setting his jaw. A flash of white-green energy, and Lloyd's dragon sparked into existence. You never realized how huge one of those creatures was until you tried to summon it indoors; the beast's nose relocated ceiling tiles as it tossed its head back, screaming and flailing like a panicked horse, beating at Technicians and shelves with its wings.

"That's more like it!" shouted Jay.

The dragon gained back a little of the edge the ninja had lost, but presently someone shot it through the wing and it vanished. Lloyd dropped to the floor, looking rattled; getting a hole shot through your soul was no fun.

"Easy kid, you're okay." Jay Spinjitzued over and spun Lloyd to his feet. "Nice run!"

Lloyd grinned shakily, pulling out his katana to continue by hand.

"The front!" Junior screamed from the shelf fortress. "Look!"

"Oh snap!" yelped Jay. The Technicians had made an inroad past the smoldering shelves blocking the store's front doors. There was no way the ninja could handle enemies pouring in from _both_ directions.

"Ohhh, that does it," gritted Cole. Kicking aside some of the shattered floor tiles crushed by Lloyd's dragon rampage, he dug his feet solidly into the concrete below, fixed a glare at the front of the store, and stamped. The ground began to ripple in slow waves, sending the store groaning on its foundations. Fighters went sprawling, shelves scraped back and forth, ceiling tiles fell. Finally the front wall of the store rumbled, cracked, and collapsed with a roar of tumbling cinder blocks. Part of the ceiling came with it, reducing the front of the store to an impassible mound of rubble. The kickback from the destruction knocked everyone backwards, ninja and Technicians alike.

"Five million eight hundred fifty ken," announced Zane from the floor.

"Ohhh, shut up," groaned Kai, rubbing his head where a ceiling tile had hit him.

The Technicians were also momentarily dazed by the earthquake. But as soon as they recovered, they began to swarm in from the back room with even more alacrity. The roar of advancing fighters grew ever louder, and the ninja found themselves being forced steadily back towards the shelf fortress. The opponents were definitely coming faster than they were going by now. Soon it would be four to one.

"We are doomed," said Jay thinly. "We are kind of doomed!"

"What else can we throw at them?" called Cole desperately.

The shelf barricade on the stockroom door began to creak and shift. Then it fell.

"Oh . . . snap . . . " whispered Jay as the full flood of Technicians came howling in. The ninja pressed back, forming a tight formation as they braced for the onslaught—

—At which point one of the store's walls blew in, and a massive metal form came sumersaulting through. It tumbled to its feet, revealing the familiar red trim of the Samurai X suit.

"Nya!"

The Samurai didn't waste any time. Hydraulics hissing, the giant mech swept the oncoming Technicians back, scattering the remainder with a small missile. Then it heaved up the largest shelf in the store, upended it with a ponderous groan of metal, and let it slam to rest against the stockroom door, trapping the raging horde of Technicians in the back. For good measure it heaved up a ceiling beam that Cole had felled and slammed that in place to hold the blockade.

Then the mech fell still, its arms clattering limply to its sides. The front panel whooshed open, and Nya hurled herself from the cockpit, her samurai helmet clattering off to one side.

" _You guys!_ " She skidded past a few unconscious Technicians and nearly sent Jay sprawling with a hug, then tackled everyone else in rapid succession. She didn't hesitate for even a second with Kai; apparently all was forgiven in this moment.

"You were amazing!" cheered Jay through the general commotion.

"Not a bad job, sis!"

"And picture-perfect timing, I gotta say—"

"That brings our total to eight million ken, however."

" _Zaaaaaaane!_ "

"How did you know to find us?" said Lloyd, laughing breathlessly.

"Zane's falcon!" Nya waved as a small feathery rocket shot through the hole in the wall, diving to smother Zane with avian affection. "It started freaking out at like two AM this morning—it must have sensed that Zane was aboveground again—so I let it go and followed it to see if you guys needed help. And it looks like you did!"

"Nahhh, we had it under control," deadpanned Kai, then laughed as Nya punched his shoulder indignantly.

"Where have you guys been? It's been more than two days! How did you land yourselves _here?_ Where did—is that _Skales Junior?!_ "

"Miss Nyaaaa!" Junior scrabbled over the top of the shelf fortress and scurried to hug the samurai. "Hooray, now everybody's here!"

"What in the world?" asked Nya, smiling disbelievingly over the snakelet's head at the others.

"Ho boy, do we have some stories for you," said Lloyd. "There was this—"

"Guys, guys," interrupted Cole, raising his voice above everyone else's talking. "Hold on a sec. Why is it suddenly so . . . quiet?"

Everyone fell silent. Zane finally got his falcon to stop jumping around on his head and flailing its wings. Indeed, it was eerily quiet in the trashed store now. Some shelves creaked and settled, some rubble clattered, some semi-conscious Technicians groaned and stirred—but there was definitely no roaring and pounding on the other side of the barricade.

"What gives?" said Jay uneasily.

Zane's eye flashed and dimmed. He turned in a circle, beeping softly.

"I am detecting no less than eight explosive devices placed around the perimeter of this store," he announced.

"Ohhhhhh, snap."

"How long till they go off?" asked Nya.

"It is hard to get a precise signature, but I believe we have about ten to fifteen minutes. They are on forced speed countdown."

"Dangit." Nya looked around at the dazed Technicians lying on every side. "We can't just leave these guys here to die . . . "

"Ten minutes is enough," said Cole briskly. "Let's move."

They shot into action. Cole and Zane transferred Technicians to the outside of the store through the hole in the wall, while the others carried them to a safe distance with their dragons and the Samurai X mech.

"Yikes, what's up with this guy?" asked Cole, trying to drag the hypnotized Technician to his feet. He was still sitting peacefully in the shelf fortress, unwilling to move.

"I 'ipnotized him!" chirped Junior.

"Oii." Cole flinched and patted the oblivious man on the shoulder glumly. "I know how it feels, bud."

"Unca Kai!" called Junior, waving down Kai's dragon.

"Ohh, that guy." Kai landed. "Hey man, fight's over. Think you can head on down to the nearest police station and turn yourself in?"

The man shrugged and trotted off obediently.

"Be good!" Kai shouted after him. The other ninja looked on, fascinated.

"He listens to you now?" said Cole.

"Until he wakes up, I guess," said Kai.

"Man. I'm sure he was a nasty guy, but nobody deserves _that_."

"Heyyyyyy . . . "

Meanwhile, Meep and Mopp were helping out. They had an uncanny ability to find Technicians hidden in odd places or partially buried under rubble—Jay was reminded of how they somehow knew where to dig for Zane.

"Last few!" called Nya, pulling aside the barricade to check the back room. "How much time?"

"About five minutes. We're fine, but we should hurry," said Zane.

"You guys grab our backpacks, okay?" called Cole, waving to Jay and Lloyd. "Make sure we're not leaving anything behind."

The two ninja hopped into the shelf fortress, picking their way through rubble and unsticking themselves from spilled soda. They began to go around the room quickly gathering up weapons and supplies they had been using in battle.

"Lloyd?" Jay looked up to find the green ninja digging in one of the shattered freezers. "What are you doing?"

"This stuff is gonna get blown up with the store anyway," said Lloyd, holding out a small tub of marshmallow whip. "And we _did_ warn Kai . . . "

"Ohhh." Jay chuckled. "I see where you're going with this."

"It's a step down, but we're running out of options," said Lloyd, piling more containers into his and Jay's backpacks. "We need backup."

"Hey guys, what's taking you so long?" called Cole from outside. "We've got like a minute left!"

"Yikes!" Lloyd and Jay snatched up all the backpacks, made a final check, and hurried outside. The ninja sparked their dragons and took off, accompanied by the Samurai X mech and Zane's falcon. Once they'd gotten to a safe distance, they circled for a moment, looking down at the convenience store. It was only a matter of seconds before the building went up in a massive ball of fire.

"Oooooooooh," said Junior, as their dragons wobbled slightly from the passing shockwave.

"Well," said Cole. "They can't make us pay for anything _now_."

* * *

Rather than going back to the _Bounty_ , they headed for New Ninjago City. They wanted to make sure no stray Technicians followed them home—and besides, they had to drop off Junior.

"Your parents must be worried sick," said Nya, glancing to the snakelet riding on the shoulder of her mech. "You should know better than to wander off!"

"Oh snap." Cole laughed suddenly. "And he was with his dad! King Skales must be in _so_ much trouble."

Lloyd stifled a snicker. Meanwhile, Jay was relishing being on his dragon again, flying close by Nya's side. What a day. Epic battle, they all got out alive and fairly unscathed, and he got a hug from Nya to boot. Of course, they all had, but—

. . . Wait. She'd hugged _him_ first.

She'd hugged him FIRST.

O BOY.

"Arrrre . . . you okay?" asked Cole, pulling his dragon aside a little as Jay's wings suddenly flared twice as bright.

"Absolutely!" began Jay, then sneezed. His dragon vanished, and Zane just barely caught him with his own.

"Maybe you should ride with me," said the Nindroid. He eyed Jay's giddy expression dubiously. "Just hold tightly, and try to tell me when you are about to sneeze. I am not completely shockproof, and I would not want to drop both of us." He paused. " . . . _Are_ you all right?"

"Who, me?" Jay settled himself comfortably behind Zane, still grinning like an idiot. "I'm fantastic."

* * *

 **A/N: In CinemaSins, they'd probably say "Close enough** **—** **roll credits!" But we're nowhere near done just yet. :P**

 **Again, no update next week! But I might post a one-shot or two in "Backstage with Jay," so you can poke around there if you want. :)**


	52. Like if U Cri Evrytiem

**Well, here we are again. That was a good hiatus; I may end up taking another one sometime soon. I've pulled up by a few chapters, but not _that_ many. **

**Also, I guess I should make a formal announcement now: I've checked with an expert, and there is indeed a fatal flaw in this story's premise. I do regret that, but it's too late to do much about it; so, I apologize. I don't want to spoil the fun for you guys, so I'm not going into specifics, but if anyone would rather know what it is, PM me and I'll give you the full disclosure.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Uh-oh. Do I gotta send the resuscitating kittens again? :P Thanks for the review! Hope you liked the action. :) Also, 'eyyyy, let the poor kiddo read what he wants. I think he's old enough to decide for himself whether he likes this kinda content. :P**

 **Ahh, I remember The Giver! Was an interesting one.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Ninja Pony: He's already in a lot of trouble, no doubt about it! But he might be in a little less once it turns out Junior is safe. XD As to "Backstage," sorry bruh, requests are closed. The other issue is, knowing whether a person is really asleep is a basic ninja skill, and there's probably nothing the guys could say behind Jay's back that they haven't already said to his face. :P They tend not to mince words with each other; it's a side effect of being family.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheAmberShadow: Yeah, it definitely did raise some questions. Goldmedalninja wrote an entire special review full of questions, and I can think of a ton more. :P**

 **"What is Twilight?" Duuuuude. Heh, well; it's an extremely popular trilogy of books (and movies) about vampires and werewolves and this girl who wants to date both of them. While teen/tween girls often obsess over the series, other people use it as the end-all example of bad writing. I tried reading the first book once. It was okay, but** ** _really_** **boring. IMHO.**

 **I don't know what I was thinking though, broken glass freaks me the heck out. ^_^''**

 **"Established." ^_^ You know, if you're on a computer, you can right-click the word and spellcheck will give you suggestions for how to fix it. :) Anyways, even if the bad guys did run the place, the ninja were still worried that the authorities might want them to pay for what they destroyed. So Zane was keeping a tab just in case. (And to be a troll, because he's like that. :P)**

 **Haha, I wouldn't be surprised! Some girl-power organization is paying her every time she rescues the boys. XD**

 **Right now, I'm sure Skales will just be happy to know his son is alive. :)**

 **Oooh, interesting theory! We'll see.**

 **Regarding "Backstage," thanks! Heh, the song just popped into my head one day, and I saved it up so I could use it in such a place. :)**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Elveron294: Wooooooohoooooooo! The Lloydfish documentary! Awesome, man. Nature red in tooth and claw, huh? And due diligence to the Lloydfish's furry habits! I love all the other kinds of aquatic creatures you have there. And "mewling angrily." I so want to see a mewling Lloydfish now. X3**

 **Thanks so much for sharing the doc! Would it be okay for me to link it on my profile? :)**

 **In other respects; I like how you say "yet." XD We'll see how long those suckers last.**

 **Shy softies who eat people, huh? Ideal survival combination right there.**

 **Better not give him cake, though, that activates his mighty Colewalrus powers. XD**

 **Aww, I don't know that I'd go so far as to call it a phobia** **—anyone would be terrified to think that all their loved ones just _forgot they existed._ That'd be a really horrible life to live. Poor Colewalrus either way, yeah. He needs hugs.**

 **Gracious. What's that guy doing in your closet? XD**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **ShinyShiny Fan: No worries! Aw, well thanks. Cool, did you write anything on your old account?**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Monranr: Awesome! Hope you get a chance to see it soon. Cole was cute, but if you ask me, the special actually did more to make me love Jay. So that's a plus, eh? :)**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **EmritTheSpirit: Aww, you're making me blush. That's very sweet of you to say! ^_^'' Yeah, I'd agree! Kai is like that; he talks a mean game, but he couldn't actually hurt anyone or ignore anyone in trouble. Haha, I'm sure he's done his share of being a mother hen too. Nya's sick of it. XD**

* * *

 **Sept 16**

 **2:44 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Coming soon!**

 **Status conditions: Let's just say they look like they came out of a cow's throat and leave it at that.**

* * *

"So sis, why didencha just come for us in the _Bounty?_ " said Kai as they prepared to climb down into snake territory. "You didn't finish fixing it up while we were out?"

"Well . . . " Nya looked away. "Not entirely."

"Even having us out of the way doesn't help?" grinned Kai.

"I had other stuff going on," said Nya, feigning a huff. "Doctor Borg finally found time in his schedule to come over and look at the alien ship, so that took up almost a whole day. We had a hard time getting him out to the crash site, what with—y'know, the wheelchair—but he was really excited to see it. Ran a bunch of tests and everything."

"Awww, you got to spend a whole day with him?" Jay looked up from packing the aliens into their backpacks, sighing enviously.

"I got to video chat with Mindy some more, too," said Nya. "I think we're gonna be friends. She's . . . well, maybe a _little_ airheaded, but nice. Oh, and on the first day, I took the engine and generator apart _again_. And I still didn't find anything wrong in there, but I guess I must have changed something when I put them back together, because our fuel usage is back to normal now!"

"Good news," said Cole. "That was getting expensive."

"And the rest of the time, I was checking if you guys had sent me any messages," said Nya. "And taking care of the falcon. And working a little on our spaceship blueprints, Jay. And staying out of Misako's way, because she had anxiety or something and went on a berserk cleaning kick."

"Aww, poor Mom . . . "

"So yeah," concluded Nya. "I was busy."

Kai chuckled.

"You didn't get any work done on the ship at _all_ , did you?"

" . . . "

"I knew it!"

"Shush, you." Nya shook her fist playfully.

"Punch him Nya, he deserves it," offered Cole.

"What?! Hey!"

"Come on guys, let's go." Jay zipped Mopp into Zane's backpack, having obtained a promise from the alien to be quiet and good. Nya blinked at the backpacks, then looked back to Junior.

"Um," she said. But then she evidently decided not to say any more.

They found the manhole nearest the snake kingdom's entrance (Junior was very knowledgeable about such things) and headed down. They hadn't even stepped off the ladder before an uproar began.

"It's Skales Junior! He's found!" bellowed a snake who seemingly appear out of nowhere. The ninja tensed a little, hoping they wouldn't get attacked for kidnapping the heir to the snake throne or something. They needn't have worried, though; Junior gave a call of "haiiiiii!" and waved enthusiastically, ruling out most kidnap theories.

They were hustled down to the snake kingdom in minutes, Junior tugging eagerly at Lloyd's hand. As soon as they got onto the mossy grass of the main chamber, Junior abandoned his escorts entirely and shot ahead.

"Mama! Daddy!" he squealed, and dove into his parents' arms.

"Awww . . . " Nya tilted her head, smiling at the family reunion. Junior was at real and severe risk of being smothered, but he was still rattling on a mile a minute.

"Daddy, I learned 'ipnosis! I learned it! I did it! And I fought a lot of bad guys! And there were big shiny dragons! Didja miss me? Did my baby brother hatch? Aw Mama, don't cry, I'm 'kay! See? I 'ipnotized a bad guy and everything!"

"Well Lloyd, you're chopped liver now," joked Cole.

"Ah, hush. That's how it should be," mumbled Lloyd. "I was just a temporary guardian."

He was visibly taking it a little hard, though.

"Aww, don't worry. We still like ya." Kai ruffled his hair.

"Stahp." Lloyd pushed him off with an annoyed smile. Zane hugged him solemnly.

"Zannne . . . " Lloyd squirmed. "Okay, yeah, we'll have to work on this."

"What is wrong with you, don't you dare stop him," said Jay.

"I hate to bring this up," said Nya under her breath. "But what about the aliens? I'm guessing Junior's seen them a whole ton. What if he talks about them?"

"We did worry about that a little," said Kai. "But it's not like we had much choice. I guess we'll just have to hope he's bad at describing things. Maybe his parents will think it's something he made up or misunderstood."

"Yeah, besides, who are we kidding?" said Cole. "Humans burn their food, get water falling from the sky, and grow hair out of their faces. It'll be weeks before he even mentions the aliens."

* * *

As the fuss continued, the ninja started to feel a little awkward standing off to one side. They were just wondering if they should tactfully sneak away when someone finally caught sight of them. Then there followed a second fuss, but this time with the ninja approximately at its center. Which made them even more awkward.

Skales thanked them earnestly, Selma profusely. They invited everyone over to their home again—an offer which the ninja were a little embarrassed to accept, dirty and scruffy as they were. Still, it wasn't like they could decline.

Despite the ninjas' assurances that they could get to a hospital for their damages, the Serpentine insisted on providing treatment immediately. Cole got a salve which he said felt like cinnamon red hots for your skin; Jay was given new stitches and administered enough antibiotics to disinfect the entire population of Jamanukai Villlage. Meanwhile one of Shleena's apprentices stumped around the medical supply cave muttering despairingly and trying to find some crutches that would fit Kai. The fire ninja's good-natured protests that he'd be fine with just a splint went unheeded. Despite all the abuse he'd given that leg, he hadn't done anything worse than sprain it a bit more severely.

Skales and his family gave them lunch, which terrified them somewhat. To their everlasting relief, however, it turned out to be ham and cheese sandwiches. They had a very nice savory spiced spread instead of mayo, but Nya said that was probably hummus.

Probably.

It was a surprisingly nice lunch. Skales and Selma seemed much more trusting of them now—they were quite willing to show Nya the egg, which wasn't due to hatch for another few days. Still, the ninja were tired after their long battle. Eventually they started to hint tactfully that they'd like to be getting home, and the snakes very understandingly let them go. When the others went to fetch their backpacks or help with the dishes or help Selma pack up a few sandwiches for them, Kai was left alone in the living room, trying to get the hang of his crutches.

Skales Junior poked his head in.

"You want some candy, Unca Kai?" he offered, holding out a little cellophane packet. Kai squinted at the label—it appeared to be yogurt-covered nightcrawlers—then chuckled and shook his head.

"Us ninja gotta stay slim, kiddo."

Junior nodded sagely and dug into the packet himself. He perched on the table, munching, and watched as Kai stumped back and forth across the room.

"You were right," he said at last. "They didden forget me."

"Course not," said Kai. "The wouldn't. And good thing we got ya home in time to see your little brother hatching, huh?"

"Yeah." Junior's gaze turned to the egg still nestled in its alcove. When Kai made another circuit of the room, the snakelet slipped off the table to tug on his sleeve, looking around conspiratorially.

"Are you _sure_ I'm gonna like having a li'l brother?" he whispered.

"Oh, you'll love it. Little brothers are the best."

"Oh." Junior thought about this for a moment, then looked up at Kai again. "Better'n li'l sisters?"

"Mm—no." Kai shook his head. "Those are the best too."

"Big brothers and sisters?"

"Better to be 'em, but having 'em isn't so bad either."

"Oh," said Junior again. He regarded the egg solemnly, his small face scrunched in thought. "You know just 'bout everything about this stuff, huh Unca Kai?"

"Pretty much," said Kai, trying not to smile.

* * *

Meanwhile, the others were pulling themselves together.

"Do you think we could just sorta leave quietly?" said Lloyd. "It might be easier on Junior."

"You mean without saying goodbye?" Jay raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Are you _serious?_ That's no way to treat a kid!"

"Ah, he's probably busy with his parents, he won't notice we're gone," mumbled Lloyd.

"You just don't wanna be around when he starts crying," said Jay, folding his arms.

"Snakes don't cry, they chirp," said Lloyd. " . . . And yeah, so maybe I don't. It'll be harder on everyone if he has to see us leaving."

"C'mon, he'll be fine," said Cole. "You're chopped liver now, remember? But it's only decent to say goodbye properly after all we've been through."

"Fine, fine." Lloyd huffed. "But if he _does_ start crying, and I have to hug him or something, I don't want to hear any smart comments, all right?"

"Geez. What kind of monsters do you take us for?"

Lloyd rolled his eyes, but sighed.

"I really hope he doesn't cry."

"Don't flatter yourself." Cole elbowed him playfully. "He'll be fiiiiiine."

No such luck. Junior went all to pieces. For all his reluctance beforehand, Lloyd didn't seem to think twice about anyone watching; as Junior latched onto his gi, he immediately crouched down to wrap his arms around the vehemently chirping snakelet.

"Hey, easy, easy," he murmured. "It's okay! We're not going away forever, we'll come back and visit really soon. If it's okay with your parents, I mean." He looked up to Skales and Selma with an apologetic smile, pleading for understanding with his eyes. Few things inspire the same amount of awkwardness as making someone else's kid cry.

"We would appreciate it," said Selma, giving a subtle wave to ease Lloyd's discomfiture. "He ssseems to have really taken to you."

"See, you hear that? I'll come to visit in no time, I promise," said Lloyd.

"And I'll be here one way or another, returning these crutches," said Kai. "I'll bring everyone I can with me."

"And once we get the _Bounty_ fixed up, maybe you can even visit us!" said Cole. "Betcha never rode on a flying ship before, huh?"

Junior peered at him with one eye, his chirps slowing.

"Can I steer it?" he asked, muffled by Lloyd's gi. Nya laughed.

"Hey, sure. We let Kai steer."

"You're hilarious, sis," grumbled Kai.

"And we can teach you to play video games and Zane can make chicken dumplings and everything," said Jay. "How's that sound?"

"Can we do that soon?" Junior had calmed down entirely now, and was looking hopefully around at the ninja and Nya.

"Real soon, kiddo. Bring the whole family." Lloyd patted the snakelet's shoulder. "Gonna be okay now?"

"Uh-huh." Junior nuzzled in for one last tight hug, then pulled back and looked solemnly to Kai.

"An' I promise I'll tell all my friends in school about screaming. I'm gonna do it for show an' tell."

"Good going." Kai gave a scout salute. "It'll be a great service to us, kiddo."

Junior beamed. Nya took Jay aside.

"Explain to me how these are the same two people who were ranting how much they hated snakes three days ago."

Jay spread his hands, grinning cheesily.

* * *

"I wonder if I could come over and babysit on weekends."

They hadn't even gotten aboveground yet, and Lloyd was already planning their next visit.

"I mean, I bet his parents would like some alone time once in a while, especially before the new baby hatches. We could come over to take Junior on field trips aboveground—I bet he'd love the aquarium and Mega Monster Amusement Park. And maybe the museum, Borg Industries' science fair, someplace educational."

"Fizzims unpreceded," said Jay. "Somebody get this guy some offspring immediately."

"You're one to talk," said Kai. "You have aliens for kids."

He proceeded to pitch into Cole.

"Ugh," he grumbled, steadying himself on his crutches. "I thought these were supposed to _help_ , not finish the job!"

"Hang on until we get aboveground, at least," said Cole. "They were nice enough to loan us crutches, let's not snub them. I can piggyback you once we get outside."

"Uhhh, no _thanks_." Kai huffed. "I'll just use my dragon."

"So, Kai," said Nya, steadying the red ninja as he tilted precariously to the left. "What was that head-rubbing thing they kept doing?"

"Head-rubbing thing?"

"Yeah. Selma and Skales would sometimes sorta pull their chins along the top of Junior's head, and he seemed to like it."

"Really? I dunno, I've never seen that before," said Kai.

"Oh, I researched it as soon as I saw it," said Zane. "That is a Serpentine custom: they do not have lips as we do, so they cannot kiss. Instead, they show affection through this practice of rubbing their chins along the tops and backs of each others' heads."

"No kidding?" said Kai. "Well, explains why I never saw it. Nnnnot a lot of kissing going on in the slobber trade, as you can imagine."

"Oh, they don't call it kissing. The practice is called nuffing."

"Wait, what?"

"N-U-F-F, verb only, no noun form."

"Are you _serious?_ " Jay's eyes lit up. The others groaned.

"Jayyyyyy. Jay no. Jay don't," warned Cole.

"Don't do it!" said Lloyd.

"But see, if you're a teenage snake, that's probably how you get in trouble with your parents," said Jay, oblivious to complaints. "Being good-for-nuffing."

"Jayyyyyyyyyyyy . . . "

"Or when snakes get really really sad, nuffing can make them happy again!"

"Jay, somebody's going to hear you!"

"So? Much ado about nuffing!"

"Can you at least stop long enough for me to find something suitable to throw at you?"

"But what if it injures me and I have to go to the emergency room? They'll ask me how I got hurt, and I'm gonna have to tell them I got into a fight about nuffing."

"Hold me steady a minute, please? I'm going to clobber him with my crutches."

"Oh for Pete's sake." Cole groaned at Kai, who was already hopping for balance on one foot, making threatening jabbing motions at Jay with a crutch.

"I hate to admit it, but I missed you guys," said Nya, laughing.

"Yeah? Well, you can keep them," said Cole tiredly. "I'm so done with this crew."

* * *

 **A/N: Ech, proof this is a fantasy world. Average level of mutual hatred in the universe goes down instead of up. Haaaa.**

 **Crediting Moonlight mm123 for the "nuffing" puns. Thanks for nuffing. ;)**

 **Junior's a lucky kid. He has the full complement of uncles; Jay is the funny uncle, Cole is the uncle you can wrestle and go hiking with, Zane is the smart uncle who can answer all your questions, Kai is that uncle who acts way too cool for you but is actually really nice when you need him, and Lloyd is like a composite of all those uncles. And now the kid has a swell aunt, too.**

 **On that note, there should soon be a bonus one-shot (requested) with just a little more about Junior!**


	53. Heard You Like Limestone

**Haiiiiiii fellas! Guess what? It's roughly the one-year anniversary of this story.**

 **This has been going for A YEAR. *attempts to wrap head around* *fails repeatedly***

 **And you guys! For a year you've been joining in, reading and following and leaving beautiful reviews. Thank youuuuuuuuuu!**

 **So, will this thing take another year to finish? I hope not, because I don't got that kinda time! I'm thinking I only have till about midway through next summer, so gosh only knows how I'll get this entire thing packed and shipped by then. But so help me, I will. This story is gonna _finish_. **

**. . . Not any time soon. But so help me, someday it will. There will be a glorious conclusion with explosions and madness and sensations of closure.**

 **Hope to see you guys there!**

* * *

 **TheAmberShadow: Nothing's wrong with ya; Moonlight's just good at puns. ;) Haha, that would be great for human-snake relations, but his poor parents would go crazy. XD Aww, well have a safe trip then! We'll have to see if poor old Coley gets the credit he deserves someday.**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Thanks for the review! Don't worry, they'll visit all the time. :)**

 **LightningCat: I'm not going to lie, I am extremely grateful. Thank you. ^_^'' Aww, had one of "those" spells, huh? Well, even if you feel like you can't write sometimes, that's nothing that can't be fixed with practice! Ever thought about giving it another try? :)**

 **Elveron294: Wat? What is on my back? *Zane face* :P  
Heh; thank youuuu! The link is up and running. :3  
Well, I can't make promises! Cole made it through a season and a half as a ghost, you never know when I might decide to do that to someone else . . . Mweh heh heh. :3  
Lawsy! I hope I'm not an "everything else." :P Ah, well, I guess I'd be a boring old brown platypus. They wouldn't let me have my pink sparkles when I applied for the position.  
GASP! It all makes sense now! Earth cakes! Quick, give him some more, maybe he'll get orange glowy leg power too! :D  
** **Oooooh, I like that! Electric eel, definitely. A very lively one.  
Well, now I'm imagining what happens when people try to play Seven Minutes of Heaven in your closet. This is amusing. XD  
Hah, no, that was a good pun! Jay approves. Now I'm thinking that's probably why the Serpentine switched to being good by Rebooted. Skales was their ruler, and he said nuffing could stop him from ruling the world, and then Selma came and nuffed him. So he stopped. :P  
And ya know, there are some Serpentine who are getting good with computers these days, and they've designed a Serpentine E-card service called "E-Nuff." Their slogan is "Good E-Nuff for me!" XP**

 **Monranr: Haha, I'm with you on that one (as you may have seen in the EWW yesterday). Not a nice thing to say to someone who's having his own ghost problems. Y'know, I was a teeny bit mad with Cole towards the end for not caring that he made Jay cry, but I guess that just means they're approximately even now, huh? :P And thank you!**

 **mangamaker314: Oh, hai there! Heh, I'm not sure hypnosis has anything to do with IQ, so it's probably just Junior's skillz progressing. Ah c'mon man, folks liked those puns! I liked 'em too, it's why I put 'em in. :P**

* * *

 **Sept 16**

 **5:44 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Coming soon!**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Cole with healing hand, Jay sick with fever/recovering shoulder wound, Zane with significant external damage and missing eye**

* * *

After zigzagging their dragons over the woods to make sure they weren't being followed, they finally got to go home. As they stepped through the door, a waft of lemon and various sweet chemical scents hit them; Misako must have _really_ been going on a cleaning kick. Jay breathed in as deeply as he could manage with a runny nose. It was good to be home.

There was general chaos and jubilation. Lloyd set aside his nascent teenager tendencies for the day and didn't complain once about Misako hugging him; Wu greeted them all with a quiet joy, as he always did when they came back from life-threatening missions.

Jay unpacked the aliens from their backpacks and quickly went to set up a fresh salt-water bath for them. He was glad they didn't seem to be showing any signs of ill health yet. They were awfully happy to get back into brine, though. Jay nearly dropped Mopp as the alien lunged eagerly out of his hands.

"Y'like that, huh?" Smiling, Jay swiped a sleeve under his nose and dipped his hand into the warm water to pet both the aliens. "You were awesome on the mission. Get some rest now, huh?"

He looked over his shoulder to Lloyd, who was scooping armloads of marshmallow whip tubs into the freezer.

"You think we have enough?" he joked.

"Never enough," chuckled Lloyd, tossing in the last container. "Hey, if worst comes to worst, we can use this for cake icing or something. I haven't eaten marshmallow whip in years."

"Probably for the best, bud," said Jay. "Have you _read_ the ingredients list on that stuff?"

As soon as possible they all went to shower and change. Last night's rain had reached the _Bounty_ too, so the water tank had been refilled and they could shower as long as they wanted.

Jay had never realized before how awesome a shower felt. Since they'd been falling into water and standing in the rain all throughout the mission, they were cleaner than they might have been—but it still had nothing on some decent soap. And hot water, oh glob. He couldn't resist shutting his eyes and just letting the driving warmth ease his phlegmy lungs and sore, shivering muscles.

Those who hadn't showered yet eventually began to complain. Jay mostly ignored the knocking on the door and various objections; it took Kai threatening to throw ice water over the shower curtain to finally drive him out.

"Jerk," Jay said reproachfully as he left the bathroom. Kai stuck out his tongue.

"Give me a break. I have to wrap this dumb splint in like fifty plastic bags just to take a shower, and Sensei's gonna make me drink the healing tea again."

"Woe is you," retorted Jay.

"Hey, don't get too smug. He's gonna make _you_ drink something for that cold."

"Ugh." Jay slumped.

Taking the aliens with him for moral support, he headed down to the Sensei's room to present for medication. It turned out he was worried for nothing, though—the anti-cold tea actually tasted kind of pleasant, a musky herbal flavor. Jay felt smug for all of two minutes. Then Wu told him that he'd have to drink the same healing tea as Kai, for his shoulder.

"Ha," said Kai, when he realized Wu was handing them both a cup of the hot brew.

"Ha harder," groused Jay.

"If the two of you could stop glaring at each other," said Wu drily, "I have some ice here that you may suck on to numb your taste buds."

Subdued, the two ninja each took a mouthful of ice chips and said no more. Still, as they waited, Jay felt Kai shooting a sly glare at him from the corner of his eye. He did the same. The sideways-glaring intensified for a few seconds before they both cracked up silently. Wu sighed, wiping down his tea kettle.

Even with numb taste buds, though, the tea still tasted _awful_. Jay wasn't sure how Kai had managed it straight, but he was sure he didn't want to find out.

* * *

After everyone had settled in a little and most of their supplies had been put away, they all plunked down in the living room to explain the whole adventure to Nya, Wu, and Misako. It was a surprisingly quick story—a large percentage of it could be summed up with "We were lost in tunnels a lot."

Jay didn't participate too much, preferring to melt into a contented, somewhat feverish blob in a beanbag chair. He perked up at the mention of his name, though.

"So Jay, show Nya the little plastic thingy," said Kai. "The one you had in your mouth."

"Ohh! Oh yeah!" Jay immediately dug into his pocket and blinked when he came up with nothing. "Whoops! Left it in my other pants."

He went to dig into the laundry basket, inverting his pants pockets. The first one he checked had the limestone. For a second he hesitated, glancing back towards the living room, but at last he sighed and slipped the rock into his current pants pocket. Business before pleasure.

"All righty!" He returned to the living room and handed the microdrive to Nya. "I downloaded a bunch of Technician files onto this. I'm not sure if they're encrypted or what, but—you can hack into them, right?"

"Woah, yeah!" said Nya, her eyes lighting up. "Awesome! There must be so much information in here, I bet we could crack their entire ring!" She chuckled. "Although, uh, did you say this was in your _mouth?_ "

"Um, yeah." Jay blushed and took the drive back hastily. "I had to carry it safely, fast. Do you think I ruined it?"

"Well, hopefully not. I'll have to put this in rice for a few days to dry it out, though."

"Oh." Jay rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, slipping the microdrive back into his pocket. "Sorry—"

He came up short when he felt the limestone between his fingers. He twitched; he couldn't wait another second.

"Oh! Nya! I've got something else for you!" he blurted.

"Woah. Really?" Nya smiled.

"Y-yeah!" Jay hastily dug out the limestone and clasped his hands around it to hide it. "I—I thought of you, and I knew I had to get you this—"

All but trembling with excitement, he took Nya's hand and set the piece of limestone in it. Nya blinked between the rock and Jay's enormous smile, clearly a little lost.

"It's _limestone_ ," said Jay, grinning as he waited for Nya to catch on.

Nya still looked blank. Jay's heart stopped, then dropped right through the floor. Ohhhhh shoot. Oh no. This had been a major mistake. She'd forgetten about the limestone joke, and he'd have to remind her about it and explain, which would make it totally lame and ruin the gift completely and she wouldn't like it—

—And HOLY COW he was really wishing right now that he _hadn't_ done this in front of EVERYONE—

But just then, a light of recognition dawned in Nya's eyes.

"Waaaaaaait." She began to smile. " _Limestone?_ "

"Yeah!" Jay nodded eagerly. "Actual limestone!"

"No _way._ "

"From a—well, _sort_ of from a real live limestone cave!" assured Jay, grinning like an idiot.

"You are kidding me!" Nya laughed delightedly and leaned in to glomp him. "Aww, thank you so much!"

For a moment Jay squirmed, about to protest that he had a cold and she'd catch it—but who was he kidding, he couldn't say no to this.

"You like it?" he whispered just by Nya's ear.

"It's awesome," Nya whispered back, and gave him a smile as she pulled away. Jay beamed giddily, forgetting even that he was sick for a moment. That had all been SO worth it.

. . . Admittedly, it was icing on the proverbial cake that Cole snagged him in the hallway later, looking scandalized.

"Okay, spill," he said, arms folded. "What the _heck_ with limestone?"

Jay spread his hands in futility.

"What can I say? You just have to know what girls want."

Cole looked at him suspiciously. Jay gave him an innocent smile and disappeared as soon as humanly possible.

Okayyyyy, so maybe he felt a _little_ guilty for lying by omission. The tiniest bit.

But honestly—the look on Cole's face made it worth it.

* * *

Instead of going to bed that evening, Jay climbed onto the roof. After so long being squeezed underground, he couldn't get enough of the wide-open sky. Hands tucked behind his head, he gazed up at the patchy clouds and glimmering scraps of starry black, fringed by overhanging tree branches. Frogs and crickets chirped, and the occasional bird called out.

Jay tried to sigh contentedly, but was stymied by his stuffed nose. Well, so he was still pretty sick. Sensei Wu's tea probably helped, but nothing had yet _cured_ the common cold. Tomorrow he'd probably spend most of his time repairing Zane and losing his mind waiting for that microdrive to dry out. He'd probably been so thoroughly disinfected by those antibiotics that his gut would never recover, and he'd probably get raging yeast infections or something.

But hey. Those were all probably's. He'd worry about them when the time came.

He heard the door to the deck opening and closing. Some footsteps.

"Jay? You out here?" It was Lloyd's voice. Jay sneezed in reply.

"Woah, Jay?" Some scrabbling around, and Lloyd's hair appeared over the edge of the roof. Lloyd was probably somewhere within it. "What're you doing up here?"

"Goin' to sleep." Jay yawned. He'd taken a nighttime cold medication, and it was starting to kick in.

"You're sleeping out here?" Lloyd tilted his head. "What if you fall off the roof?"

"Ehhh, it's pretty flat. I don't think I roll that much."

"Hm." Lloyd climbed up fully and flopped down next to him, taking in the chilly sky. "Nice to be back, huh?"

"Oh, I can't even _tell_ you."

"Can't wait to see what's on that microdrive." Lloyd yawned too. "Say. Do we try one more normal prank on Kai? Before we go on to desperate measures?"

"Sounds good," said Jay lazily. "We gotta warn him. Las' chance."

"Yeah. He can't say he didn't get every opportunity to finish gracefully." Lloyd sat up with a sigh and looked off to the horizon, crisscrossed with tree branches. "It kinda looks like a storm is going on over there."

"Mmmhm. I can feel things sparkling to the west," mumbled Jay.

"It might rain."

"Yeah."

"On _you_."

"Mm-hm."

"That's not great if you have a cold, you know."

"Knock it off." Jay gave a jaw-splitting yawn. "I'll come in if I feel it getting too close, 'kay?"

Lloyd shook his head, but didn't press further.

"G'night then, Jay."

"Niiiight." Jay settled in more comfortably as the green ninja slipped away. Even with his eyes closed, he could _feel_ how different it was out here. So much space. So much sky. The rattling of the leaves intensified as a stronger breeze blew by, sending a soft roar running through the treetops. There must be branches tossing against the stars. Jay wanted to open his eyes to see them, but the cold medicine finally took full control and he lapsed out of sight and hearing.

* * *

 **To: Silica  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Last night**

Hey Silica. Just wanted to let you know, we're out of the woods. The police came and sniffed around the wreckage of Base 4, but they didn't find anything and now they've given up. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy getting the place cleared out in time. Last night was murder. And we've lost one of our best bases too . . . At least the ninja didn't steal anything! Everything's accounted for. Silver lining, huh?

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: Silica  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Shut the hell up, Cap. I know what you're trying to do. Think you can smooth me over and make me forget you were freaking _conspiring against me_ with that psycho Blue, huh?

I'm of half a mind to cut you _both_ out of this project.

* * *

 **To: Silica  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Awww, come on Sil. I know it looked bad, but we weren't conspiring against you, I swear. It was all Blue's idea, he just dragged me into it. And I mean, he did blow up the store, but the ninja got away just fine, judging by how mad Blue's been today. Mad as HELL.

I'd give a lot to know what happened back there. It must've been wild. He looks pretty fancy with all that sticking plaster across his nose, eh?

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: Silica  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Shut up, shut up, shut UP. Knock off the whining and excuses. Not falling for it. Don't want to hear it. Scram.

. . . But yeah, he does.

* * *

 **To: Silica  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Re: Last night  
** **Attachment: DSCN00941**

This is as much as my life is worth, but I snuck a picture of him.

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: Silica  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Ohhhhh, get lost would you. You're not buttering me up. No.

Ugh.

What am I supposed to do with you people? FSM unpreceded. I invited you into this project to HELP me, not make this more complicated. I thought hey, someone else can handle the logistics and warehousing and security matters, we'll even get a bunch more workers, I'll be free to handle the technology part.

INSTEAD I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY WORRY ABOUT YOU TWO RUNNING AROUND KILLING PEOPLE.

FSM almighty! Fine, so I was stupid to think hiring a drug lord for non-violent security was even possible. But _you_ , Cap. You at least I expected more from. You're what, a freaking geek who works in a music shop?

The entire POINT of this project was to do it _differently_. Not like the stupid villains in the movies, or in the history books, or in the newspapers. Right from the start, I knew I had found a way to do this without blood. I was so proud of that.

AND THEN I HIRED YOU TWO.

Damn you.

* * *

 **To: Silica  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Sil, I'm sorry. Truly. I know that no matter what I say you'll think I'm just looking out for my share in the project, but I'm going to say it anyway. This won't happen again. I promise.

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: Silica  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

All right.

Ugh. Look at meeee, being all super-mature. Let's . . . just forget that last email ever happened, okay?

* * *

 **To: Silica  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Sure. It's fine. My fault.

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: Silica  
** **Re: Re: Last night**

Heh. If that's how you always end fights, your girlfriend's a lucky woman.

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: BlueScreen  
** **Re: Need access code; ANSWER FAST**

The ninja hypnotized one of the damn useless hired crew and sent him to a police station in Loganburg. My crew will take care of him, but all the venom equipment's been moved to the emergency base and nobody knows the password to the new locker. Gimme it quick.

* * *

 **To: BlueScreen  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Re: Need access code; ANSWER FAST**

Are you ****ing kidding me? I JUST promised Silica there wasn't going to be any more killing. No way. Forget it.

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: BlueScreen  
** **Re: Re: Need access code; ANSWER FAST**

Awwwww, well that's real sweet of you, worrying about Silica.

IDIOT, she's never going to know about this. Give me the codes before the police get that hypnotized moron to blab out EVERYTHING HE KNOWS.

Do I need to remind you how long you'd go to jail if we're caught?

The answer is zero days. Because if we get caught, I know where you live, and my crew can find you faster than any police.

Now give me the codes.

* * *

 **To: BlueScreen  
** **From: CapsLock  
** **Re: Re: Need access code; ANSWER FAST**

First door is 348516  
Locker is 10-5-5-8

Go to hell.

* * *

 **To: CapsLock  
** **From: BlueScreen  
** **Re: Re: Need access code; ANSWER FAST**

Eventually, sure. See you there.

* * *

 **A/N: It's me, it's me! Not another crazy email. MAN these are fun to write. Heh, I hadn't planned anything like this originally, but I started to feel a little guilty that there was so little villain action in this story. But writing villains is boooorrriiiiing, so I decided to spice it up by offering glimpses of them through textchat and email exchanges instead. Kinda like that one book, _Regarding the Fountain._**

 **So how does the format suit you guys?**

 **Also, there's gonna be onnnnne more bonus one-shot in "Backstage with Jay," and then the bonus thingies will probably taper off for a bit. This one is about Lloyd's hair, so bound to be a good time, eh?**


	54. It's Dangerous to Go Alone

**Guest: Well, I've already written ahead all the way through the cold arc, so we'll see how that goes!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: It's their own in-joke. There was that time they were staying up late together and started thinking the word "limestone" was funny, so now limestone is just a special thing for them. Nobody else gets it. :P**

 **TheAmberShadow: Thanks! Glad to hear it went well. :)**

 **Zaptrap: Hi, welcome! Thanks so much. ^_^ Hehe, owning that nickname, huh? Cole approves. Jay approves too. Everyone approves. XD Glad you're enjoying the story! We'll see how little Jaykins does.**

 **mangamaker314: The last time I had marshmallow whip was yearrrrrs ago, and even then it was only part of a Halloween pudding dessert. Oh my gosh though, that dessert. Unmatched prior and since. T_T**

* * *

 **Sept 17**

 **7:00 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Cole and Zane (though somebody better sub for that guy)**

 **Status conditions: Extensive repairs underway**

* * *

Jay awoke and stretched luxuriously, yawning. Seconds later he felt the edge of the roof slip from below him, and the next second he was falling—

—Before he could even get a proper yelp in, though, he landed on a surprisingly soft surface. He sat up and blinked at his sunny surroundings. Someone had piled up a bunch of loose sails underneath the roof to make a fluffy cushion. Jay smiled, silently extending his thanks to whoever had bothered.

Even as he sat down to breakfast, he couldn't get over how good it was to just grab some food from the kitchen and get his fill.

" _Coffee_ , FSM be praised," mumbled Cole from behind a mug. He was preparing for the country patrol, and Lloyd was getting ready to fill in for Zane, who would have to stay home for repairs.

"Hey," whispered Lloyd, elbowing Jay and nodding at Kai. "Do you think we should warn him now?"

"Think? I think the llama needs shearing."

Lloyd blinked, then snorted, rolling his eyes.

"I'll give you points for execution on the double-L, anyway."

"You're too kind." Jay gave him a smirk, then turned to Kai and cleared his throat.

"Mm?" Kai barely glanced up from the book he was reading.

"We're giving you one last chance, Kai," announced Lloyd. "One final standard prank."

"You can choose honorably to fall for this one, and we shall forever hold our peace," agreed Jay.

"But turn this one against us," said Lloyd, "and our next step will be to follow through on the banana-cream pie theory."

"Oh really," said Kai blandly, not looking up from his book.

"We have marshmallow whip already. In the freezer. Right now."

"Well then, since you're so well-prepared, I'd hate to disappoint you." Kai turned the page.

"You'd do well to heed this final warning, Kai," said Jay darkly. "We are not men of empty threats."

"He threatens, emptily."

Jay growled low.

"It begins!" said Lloyd, holding aloft a spoon.

"Ready the pyre of vengeance!"

"Learn well the songs of lamentation!"

"I'm so done with you guys," groaned Cole, resting his forehead on his hands.

"Whatsamatterwhitchoo?" said Jay reproachfully. "You used to think this kind of stuff was funny."

"I have—we _all_ have bigger things on our minds right now," said Cole. "We have raging hordes of Technicians to deal with. Do you know how angry they're gonna be now? We'll have to patrol like we're in a warzone! Fun and games don't fit so well in this picture."

"Jeepers," said Jay, looking bleakly at Lloyd. "The rate he's leaving us! Once we're done with Kai, we'll have to start on _him_ next."

* * *

Most of the day did indeed go into fixing Zane. The Nindroid assured Jay that he couldn't catch any human colds, but out of courtesy Jay tried his best not to sneeze on him. He also had to worry about not zapping the Nindroid at random, especially when his panels were open and his circuits were dangerously prone to overload. He decided to leave the internal work to Nya.

They made sure Zane's voice chip was secure after the jolt it had received. Then Nya ran a quick check of Zane's innards, performing a more thorough removal of dirt and moisture. They had a harder time with the dents: they had to shut off temperature sensation to individual panels of Zane's exoskeleton, then carefully go over it with a blowtorch to soften it. Then they tapped and coaxed and polished the metal back into a smooth, even sheet. There was still a little crease in his arm that they just couldn't get out, but his side was fixed to perfection.

Zane was very patient all throughout the procedure, as he always was during repairs. His falcon watched from the back of a chair, swiveling its head and occasionally giving a chirp of approval. Meep and Mopp, faithfully fastened to Jay as usual, grew bored and attempted to tease the bird. Then it nipped Meep's leg and they stopped.

"Are you sure you do not want to rest, Jay?" said Zane, as the blue ninja sneezed and momentarily went up in a Roman candle of blue sparks. "You should really be in bed."

"Ahh, I'm okay," said Jay, sniffling. "Really, I don't feel so bad. And I have stuff to do! Heck, it's even my turn to cook dinner tonight."

"Uhhhh, Jay, I dunno," said Nya.

"I'll wash my hands, and I won't sneeze on the food, promise," said Jay. "The patrol schedule is messy enough already, I don't want to wreck the cooking schedule too."

"I hope we're having TV dinners," mumbled Nya.

The last component they fixed was Zane's eye. This was something they'd never done before, so they were both a little nervous. Luckily Nya had thought ahead and purchased a spare eye long ago—but to their disconcertion, the first installation turned out upside-down. Watching Zane blink _upwards_ with one eye and downwards with the other was not an experience Jay felt like repeating. They straightened it out as fast as humanly possible.

"Much better," said Zane, once the issue had been sorted out. "Thank you both for your time."

"Must be nice being a Nindroid," said Jay, smiling wistfully. "Humans have to fix all their own parts, and if they can't fix 'em right the replacement parts are never as good."

"But humans have more imagination." Zane gave a wistful smile back.

"Hey, we're still working on that one," said Jay. "Grab a pen. You can have another drawing lesson, and we can check if your arm was fixed right."

Zane looked a little reluctant, but he took the sheet of paper Nya handed him and shooed Mopp aside to make room on the table.

"What should I draw?" he asked.

"How about . . . " Jay looked around. His eye landed on a Starfarer comic book lying nearby. "How about a cartoon? That's a good way to practice drawing new things! Draw something you _have_ seen before, but in a style that isn't realistic."

"Hmm." Zane looked at the paper as if hoping it would offer him some answers. "Uh . . . let me warm up first. I'll copy the original."

He began to draw a flawless replica of the Starfarer cover. Jay stifled a sigh.

"I'm gonna start making dinner," he said. "I'll be back to check in a few minutes."

Nya followed him to the kitchen.

"Jay," she said as the blue ninja began to rummage for pots and pans. "What if we _can't_ teach Zane to have an imagination?"

"You?" Jay looked at her disbelievingly. "Giving up?"

"I'm not giving up," said Nya. "But you know, some things just aren't _possible_ , especially when it comes to technology. You couldn't get a calculator to run a video game. What if imagination is just impossible for Zane? We've built up his hopes so much . . . "

"Gosh." Jay sat down on the floor among a collection of pans, snuffling. "I don't know. I mean, he does a lot of other things that should be impossible for a machine, right? He has feelings, for starters. And it's not the greatest, but he _does_ have a sense of humor. Imagination isn't that big a stretch, is it?"

"I hope so," said Nya. "I'd feel awful."

Jay winced. _She'd_ feel awful. He was the one who'd tried hardest to badger Zane into this whole drawing business in the first place.

Sighing, he began to gather equipment and ingredients for a stir-fry. Presently the door swung open and Cole poked his head in.

"Hey, can I get some chicken soup or something for Lloyd here?"

"Oh, you're back early," said Nya. "Both at once?"

"Yeah," said Cole tersely, shooing a reluctant-looking Lloyd into the kitchen. "He got shot at."

"What?!" Jay dropped the pot he'd been filling at the sink and swung around. Nya was already looking the green ninja up and down like she expected to suddenly find a gaping wound.

"I didn't get _shot_ ," protested Lloyd. "They barely even nicked my dragon."

"Barely even, the heck?" said Cole. "They shot it in the _chest_."

"Grazed it!" Lloyd spread his hands in helpless frustration. "Guys, stop worrying. Seriously. I'm okay."

Independent of protests, he was plied with ramen and concerned inquiries about his mental state. He ate hastily, keeping his eyes down, clearly flustered at the fuss being made.

"Did you see who did it?" asked Nya, doing her best not to hover.

"No, I was over an alley; someone in the shadows must've been waiting for me."

Jay shivered, seized by the sudden mental image of his little brother lying in a pool of blood on the street.

"I knew they'd be out for us," said Cole grimly, folding his arms on the tabletop. "We infiltrated their base, then forced them to blow up their storage depot, then we all got away scott-free. They must be mad as heck. I don't know what we're going to do about city patrols anymore, we could go in pairs, but that hardly helps against a gun—"

"Cole, easy," said Lloyd. "It'll be okay. We can just stick to the main streets for a few days, they can't shoot us where there'd be witnesses. You're overreacting."

Cole shook his head miserably.

"Maybe we should suspend patrols. I need to talk to Sensei."

"Nooooooo, come on," wailed Lloyd, but Cole was already heading for the door.

"I'll ask him now. And maybe he can make you some kind of soul-healing tea or something."

"Can you at least not tell _everyone?_ " Lloyd called after him. "I don't need my mom freaking out too!"

"You must have really scared him," said Nya once Cole was gone. "What happened?"

"Nothing dramatic," mumbled Lloyd, shrugging. "I mean, I was just sitting on a rooftop getting myself together; a few more minutes and I'd have been back to normal. But Cole finds me and freaks out like I'm bleeding buckets or something. I was fine, seriously; finished patrol and everything."

"And Cole let you go?"

"Well, he went with me. I have never _seen_ two dragons fly that close together." Lloyd chuckled softly. "He's such a mom."

"I know, right?" Jay grinned.

Sensei gave Lloyd a whole new layer of inquiries about his health. Then he did indeed take him off for tea. Lloyd cast a woeful look back to Jay as he was led off.

"Hey, when I'm free, we're gonna get Kai, okay?"

"You got it," said Jay, relieved that Lloyd was still feeling stable enough for pranks. He blew his nose, washed his hands, and was about to resume making dinner, but Cole pulled him aside.

"Hey, if you're gonna be hanging out, keep an eye on that kid, okay?" he said. "Be normal, cheer him up and stuff, but let me know if he acts weird at all."

"Sure thing," said Jay. "Mom."

Cole gave him a sharp look.

"I'm serious, Jay. It's great that you find all this hilarious, but the kid scared me stiff back there. I found him on a roof looking like he was two inches from a total meltdown."

"What?" Jay sobered. "He said he was almost okay by the time you found him."

"Yeah, because he's Lloyd," snorted Cole. "And he wants to be the invincible USM who shrugs off grenades like the Iron Giant or something. The kid is _sixteen_. He's been shot through the soul twice in the past two days. You don't just walk away from that."

"You think he's worse off than he lets us see?" said Jay quietly.

"I don't know." Cole pinched the bridge of his nose. "He did seem to recover pretty fast after I found him, and he got his dragon back. It looked a little dim, but otherwise okay. It always had a couple black scales, right?"

"I think so?" Jay was silent for a moment. "Hey, don't worry. I'll look out for him."

"Thanks." Cole looked tired. Jay punched his shoulder.

"Relaaaaaax, Mom."

"Call me that again and I'll send you to your room." Cole smiled just a little. Jay grinned back.

"Say, what were you doing in the city, anyway? You had the country today."

"Ah, well." Cole rubbed his head awkwardly. "Seems kind of stupid now, but I was getting a haircut. That's why I was trying to find Lloyd—I wanted to make a point of setting a good example."

"For real?" Jay laughed. "That's awesome. You should tell him."

"Ah, maybe later . . . "

* * *

A while later Lloyd dragged Jay out of the kitchen, the scent of spiced tea sharp on his breath.

"C'mon, c'mon, we have to hurry!" he said. "Kai's training right now. He's going to take a shower afterwards; we're gonna rig his shampoo."

"Are you okay?" asked Jay automatically.

"I swear, if one more person asks me that—"

"Hey, sorry for caring!"

"I know, I know." Lloyd sighed. "Sorry. It's nice of you guys. But I'm fiiiiine, I swear."

Jay looked him up and down. He looked truthful. At last he gave a short laugh and socked Lloyd's arm gently.

"Let's go then! You got a plan?"

"You know it."

They snuck off to the bathroom and got hold of the special shampoo Kai used. Nobody else used that stuff; it made your hair frizz something awful. Which was just how Kai liked it.

"We're lucky this shampoo is a weird red color," said Lloyd, shaking the half-empty bottle. "This wouldn't work otherwise."

"Are you sure it'll work at all?" said Jay. "I've never heard of using powdered drink mix as hair dye."

"It works, believe me," said Lloyd. "That stuff could paint a barn."

"Where did you learn this, anyway? The internet?"

"Nah. From . . . a friend," said Lloyd.

"Ahhh." Jay raised an eyebrow. "Did she ever try it herself?"

"Y—yeah." Lloyd unwisely failed to deny it was a girl.

"Mmm-hmmmmm." Jay nodded. "Did she happen to use a particular shocking purple? . . . "

"That's enough questions," said Lloyd hastily. Jay chuckled.

"Say, where is Chamille these days anyway? You two been keeping in touch?"

"Less talking, more dyeing," said Lloyd, shoving the shampoo bottle into Jay's hand.

There ensued maneuvers worthy of an Indiana Jones movie. They mixed the powdered drink mix with liquid soap to make a brilliant red gel, then carefully checked that it was close to the color and consistency of the original shampoo. Then they poured the shampoo into an old measuring cup and hid it in the cupboard. They even weighed the bottle before and after the switch to ensure Kai wouldn't notice the change.

"It won't hit actual bright red or pink," admitted Lloyd as they replaced the bottle and snuck back out. "It doesn't work as well on dark hair. But it'll definitely redden it a whole bunch of shades."

"If Kai knows what's good for him," said Jay, "we'll soon find out."

* * *

Jay, for the third time that day, resumed making dinner. He'd already chopped up most of the vegetables for the stir-fry, but he still had to boil some noodles, fry some chicken, and make a sauce. Admittedly he was starting to regret that he hadn't picked something less involved; standing in the kitchen for ages with a swimmy head, constantly fighting the urge to sneeze, was not fun.

He blew his nose for the fifteenth time and washed his hands for the fifteenth time, sighing. From the left sink basin Mopp eyed him, wondering why he looked so beat.

" _Gulra wurr?_ " he inquired solicitously.

"Whatever you say, man," said Jay, smiling wearily. He sneezed into his elbow, drawing a swathe of lightning tendrils across the metal faucet. Blinking through watery eyes, he looked at the package of chicken and sighed.

What with all the distractions, it was getting late. Jay set some water on for the noodles as he began preparing the chicken. He also put the vegetables on to simmer gently, to soften them up. Then he shooed Meep away from the stove for the sixth time.

"It's _dangerous_ bud, okay? No touching."

He was just cutting the chicken into strips when he heard a shriek. Whirling around, he saw Meep leaping away from the oven, looking panicked.

"Meep?!" Jay grabbed the alien out of midair, wide-eyed. "Are you okay?"

Meep struggled, wailing. One of his tentacles was curled tightly against his body. Jay studied it anxiously, but it didn't seem to be bleeding or visibly damaged.

"Easy buddy, easy," he soothed, hustling Meep over to the sink and running cold water over the burned limb. "Shh, you're gonna be okay. Does that help?"

Meep gradually calmed down, his squeals fading to slow keening sounds of distress. His tentacle uncurled enough for Jay to see one side was now slightly opaque, but otherwise whole. The alien studied the injured limb woefully. Mopp leaned over the sink divider, patting his head comfortingly, and Jay also gave him a quick rub, muffling a sneeze.

"There you go. That should heal up, I'll get Nya to bandage it. No more touching the oven, okay?"

He turned around to gather up the knife and some of the chicken, which he'd dropped when Meep screamed. He was just in time to see the pot of noodles on the stovetop boil over in a spectacular mound of foam.

"No!" he yelped, rushing to turn down the heat—but he only succeeded in knocking down the frying pan of vegetables, which was already teetering on the edge of the oven where Meep had knocked it. He barely managed to leap back in time to avoid having sizzling vegetables spilled down his front.

"Oh, for—" He sneezed violently, leaving black and white dots flashing at the edges of his vision. Blinking woozily, he looked around at the spilled vegetables and chicken, the dishes knocked over by Meep's panic, the water still frothing over the top of the noodle pot. Groaning, he sank down on the floor and slumped back against the cabinets, resting his aching forehead in his hands.

" _Eeeeee?_ " Mopp hung over the edge of the sink, eyeing the blue ninja worriedly. " _Wooo?_ "

"I'm fine," mumbled Jay half to himself, rubbing his face. "I'm fine."

Some shuffling, and abruptly a damp Mopp plopped down on his head. The alien whirred soothingly and patted Jay's forehead. Jay gave a long sigh and pulled him down into his arms, scratching between his eyes. There was a chirp by his elbow, and he looked up to find Meep solemnly offering him a washcloth, sopping-wet from noodle water spilling over it. Despite himself Jay smiled.

"Thanks, guys."

He swiped a sleeve under his nose, gave Mopp a final pat, and put him back in the sink, steeling himself to begin cleaning up the kitchen.

"Jay?" said a voice, then came up short. "Oh my."

Jay turned around to find Zane standing in the doorway, looking with dismay at the kitchen.

"You . . . seem to be having some difficulty," said the Nindroid.

"I don't know. I guess?" Jay drew in hard through his nose and massaged one temple absent-mindedly. "Okay, okay, so maybe. Yeah. Little bit of trouble."

"Are you sure you do not want some help?" said Zane. Jay opened his mouth to refuse, but broke off with a sigh.

"Maybe just a _little_."

Zane nodded and set something aside on the countertop—a drawing pad. Jay felt a stab of guilt.

"Oh my gosh, Zane. Have you been trying to draw all this time? Oh man, that was hours, I completely forgot to check on you—"

"That's all right," said Zane. "I wanted to keep practicing. I studied the Starfarer comic and took note of how cartoons differ from realistic images. Then I researched some databases of other cartoons to form some algorithms. I believe I may have succeeded."

"Say what?" Jay's eyebrows shot up. "Where? Let me see!"

Zane took the drawing pad and flipped through a few pages, Jay crowding in next to his arm. There was page after page of perfect replicas of Starfarer scenes, and Jay briefly wondered if they could get in copyright trouble for this. Then the replicas gradually grew sparser, maybe only the character or background instead of the whole frame. A few of them were oddly shaky or had extra limbs, as if Zane had been struggling to draw the same character in a different pose. Jay's heart bled.

And then, on the final page, a quavery image of, not a Starfarer character, but Sensei Wu. It was very bad; more like a stick figure or a Colorforms picture than a real cartoon. The beard was just a triangle, the hat was at the wrong angle, and his arms were stuck down to his sides like he'd been strait-jacketed. But it was undeniably Wu, and undeniably not a photograph.

"Oh my gosh, Zane," whispered Jay. "You did it."

"That's a cartoon?" said Zane hopefully.

" _Yes!_ " Jay broke into a grin and took the Nindroid by the shoulders, shaking him lightly. "You did it! You can do it! You have an imagination! _You did it!_ "

"It was hard," admitted Zane, through a somewhat shellshocked smile.

"Well, it's all uphill from here!" assured Jay. "Oh my gosh Zane, can you even believe this? This is amazing!"

"It is exciting," said Zane shyly.

"Exciting, he says!" scoffed Jay. "Understatement of the century. Man, are you going to tell the others now?"

"I guess so," said Zane. "Soon?" He put the drawing pad aside. "I have to thank you for all the effort you're making. You and Nya have been teaching me to draw, and Lloyd is trying to teach me to play video games and when to hug people. I should be quite normal soon."

"Waaaait, what?" Jay blinked, thrown. "No, no, you're missing the point. This isn't about being normal."

"But I _want_ to play video games," said Zane. "And to draw normally."

"Well yeah, you'll have more fun that way," admitted Jay. "But, I mean—well, there's millions of normal people, but only you have all this cool Nindroid stuff. I wouldn't be in any rush to get rid of it."

"You think I should keep the copier abilities?"

"Heck, yes. And tell the others about those too, they'll love it."

"Well . . . all right."

"And I don't care what Lloyd tells you, you can hug _me_ whenever you want."

Zane gave him a smile, then began to gather up the spilled vegetables to wash and re-heat. Jay went to do something about the noodles, still beaming to himself. If it weren't for this blasted fever, he'd actually feel pretty great right now.

* * *

Kai went to take a shower before dinner. Jay and Lloyd fidgeted like colicky cats, waiting for a commotion to start.

Nothing much happened, though. A while later they saw Kai, his hair damp, helping Nya set the table. There was definitely no change in his hair or his demeanor.

"What _gives?_ " whispered Jay. Lloyd shook his head, bewildered.

Unfortunately they both still had to take showers themselves. They played rock-paper-clamp, and it fell to Jay to go first. He entered the bathroom with the step of one traversing a minefield, waiting for something to trigger unexpectedly.

Nothing much.

He checked Kai's shampoo bottle. Judging by the scent, it contained actual shampoo. The measuring cup in the cabinet was empty. By now thoroughly paranoid, Jay checked the shampoo the others used. Normal. So was the soap.

Scratching his head, Jay looked into the tub, and noticed for the first time some faint pink discoloration splashed around the drain. He sighed defeatedly. Kai had just dumped their carefully prepared concoction down the tubes.

"Well, that _still_ counts as not falling for it," he muttered, closing the shower curtain and turning on the water. "He's in for it now. And at least he didn't turn it around on us this time."

It was around this point that he suddenly realized the shower water was a radiant magenta.

" _What_ the . . . " He squinted up at the showerhead in disbelief. "How is that even possible?"

The water was rapidly turning clearer, but it was indeed cherry-colored, and heavily fruit-scented. Jay shook pink droplets from his hands and heaved a deep sigh.

"Annnnnnnd it's watermelon."


	55. Much Beard, Very Grown

**Happy St. Nicholas' Day! To those of you who celebrate it. ^_^''**

* * *

 **TheAmberShadow: Yep, the poor Nindroid finally pulled it off! He's become more of a machine after the whole Titanium thing, and machines don't really have imagination. He's been trying to piece together his humanity along with his memories from before the Digital Overlord. Heh, as to Kai, we'll actually hear the technical details of how he did it in this chapter. :) And yep, Lloydille forever!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: He is decidedly little. X3 And yeah, Chamille may enter the picture sooner or later. I'm hoping to do better by the Elemental Masters than the show did. Those guys are cool. ^_^''**

 **Ninja Pony: Hey, it was Jay's own fault for using watermelon drink mix! But yeah, he's not gonna hear the end of this. :P**

 **Monranr: Oh, you bet he's getting worse! Thanks for the review. :)**

 **Zaptrap: Awww, thank you! Heh, these poor saps are young and don't yet have anyone's blood on their hands; they can afford to be innocent. ^_^'' Nash, though** ** **—** baaaad, Nash, bad. *whaps with newspaper* So which unfortunate ninja was it? Oooh, a drawing would be so sweet! I wouldn't mind at all if you draw Jay the way you like, art is s'posed to be personal. And I do see him drawn with freckles very often. I guess he just seems like a freckly sorta guy. :)**

* * *

 **Sept 17**

 **6:12 PM**

 **Patrol circuit: Cole and Zane (Lloyd subbing, completed)**

 **Status conditions: Extensive repairs underway**

* * *

Luckily the drink mix was diluted enough not to stain. Jay had enough problems on his mind without being pink.

"To be honest, I was aiming more for Lloyd," admitted Kai, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry about that."

"You can't even smell the watermelon," said Cole. "Much."

He was trying to be nice, he really was.

"How does this even work?" Jay was not in any way placated. "How did you even DO that?"

"Not a big deal. Just gotta shut off the water supply to the bathroom, unscrew the shower head, dump the slime in there, then screw it back on and turn on the water supply."

"Ohhh, come on. That's fancy plumbing, you wouldn't have known how to do that."

"Well, uh . . . " Kai hesitated.

"He sorta had help," said Nya.

"NYA?! How could you? You're supposed to be on our side!"

"I never said I was on your _side_ really," said Nya. "Nobody said I couldn't help both sides if I wanted. And he asked nicely."

"Arrrgh. Nyaaaa . . . "

"Well, either way." Lloyd folded his arms. "You're in for it, Kai. Watch your back. Trust nothing, trust no one."

"I dodged everything before this," said Kai, shrugging. "Whatcha gonna do after this one fails? Give uuuup?"

"I'd worry more about what _you're_ gonna do once we nail y—y— _hachoo!_ "

"Ugh, Jayyyyy. What part of 'say it don't spray it' challenges you?"

"If I could have your attention," said Wu. The ensuing squabble fell to the wayside as the group at the dinner table turned to the Sensei.

"I have talked with Cole," said the Sensei, "and I believe patrols for tomorrow should be suspended."

"Huh? Why?" asked Kai.

"You would have the city, for one thing," said Wu. "Rearranging patrol schedules causes needless complications, but with your ankle still healing I am not sure patrolling would be safe. Also, you all seem to have fallen out of practice during your mission, so staying home to train would not be unwise. Plus a variety of . . . other factors." His glance flickered briefly to Lloyd, who gave his uncle a look full of gratitude. "At any rate, Ninjago managed without patrols for a few days while you were on your mission; it can last a few more now. We will keep tight communication with the police to ensure that the citizens are not in danger. We will also be able to resume normal patrols with the _Bounty_. Eventually."

Nya gave a sheepish grin.

They finished Jay and Zane's stir-fry in good spirits. Right now staying home seemed like a treat, even if it did involve extra training.

Jay went to put his dishes in the sink afterwards; it was Nya's turn to wash.

"I still can't believe you double-crossed us," he said mournfully.

"I'm sorry Jay, really." Nya nudged his shoulder. "But come on. He really did ask nicely. Really nicely. And . . . you know, I kinda had time to think while you guys were gone, and I sorta got around to realizing that—messed-up life choices and all—he's still my brother. And he's trying. So I . . . When he asked for help, I just wanted to show him that everything was okay between us again, you know?"

Jay heaved a sigh, then gave Nya a rueful half-smile. He couldn't comprehensibly stay angry in light of that. Nya smiled back.

"You know, you really can't smell the watermelon much. Not nearly as much as last time."

"Don't remind me," groaned Jay. Nya giggled.

"Hey, you know what?" She shook dishwater from her hands. "To make it up to you, I'll help you guys any way you need for your next prank on Kai. How's that sound?"

"Woah. Really?" Jay gave her an awkward grin. "Uhhh . . . you sure you want to get involved, though? We, uh . . . kinnnnnda swore we'd pie him in the face."

Nya snorted.

"I'm in."

"Really?" Jay brightened. "Hey, isn't tomorrow Friday? That's when Kai watches his morning show, right?"

"Mmmm-hmmm," said Nya. "If you, me, and Lloyd work fast, I bet we could get something built in time. Got anything in mind?"

"The fridge," said Jay at once.

"Good choice." Nya nodded shrewdly. "Okay, prankmeister. Get Lloyd and wait in the workroom. I'll meet you there when I'm done with the dishes."

"Want me to help?"

"Ah, no," said Nya, waving him away. "You already made dinner, go take a load off your feet. Besides, I've got Mopp to help me."

Mopp chirped in agreement and knocked the soap bottle onto his head. Chuckling, Jay snuffled his way down the hall to look for Lloyd. Hearing some conversation in the bunkroom, he poked his head in through the door.

"Hey guys, have you seen—" Jay stopped and regarded the scene with bewilderment. "What are you guys _doing?_ "

"Trying out facial hair," said Cole, gesturing at Zane, who wielded a marker. "Turns out Zane knows how to draw pretty realistic-looking beards and mustaches."

"On _you?_ " said Jay, folding his arms amusedly.

"Well, yeah. I was just thinking of growing out a mustache, maybe even a beard too, and I thought it'd be great to test what they'd look like first."

This tore it. For a moment Jay stood there making noises like a faucet when there's air in the pipes; then he threw himself onto the nearest bunk and rolled over, howling with laughter.

"What's funny about it?" asked Cole indignantly.

"You—inna—beard—" Jay managed to choke, then progressed right past the power of speech again. Cole gave an annoyed snort and turned back to Zane, pointedly ignoring the lightning ninja.

"So, anyway, what were you saying again?"

"The handlebar one," replied Zane, a faint smile the only indication that he shared Jay's amusement. "I believe it is best-known on villains in classic cinema."

"Awwh, really? Dang. I liked that one."

"Hold still, maybe I can reach a compromise," said Zane, applying the marker carefully. "How is that?"

"Hey, pretty cool," said Cole, squinting into the shaving mirror they were using. Then he glanced wearily back at Jay, who was still laughing helplessly, kicking his heels against the bedspread. The earth ninja turned back to Zane, looking resigned, and twitched his fingers in a "hand it over" motion.

"Gimme that marker."

"Can I be sure you will use it responsibly?" Zane tried not to smile.

"You can be sure I won't," grinned Cole. Zane chuckled and handed it over.

"Thannnnk you," sang Cole, and strode over to the bunk. Pinning Jay down (which wasn't difficult, in his current state), he began to scribble marker across the blue ninja's face.

"Hey! Hey! Stoppit!" yelped Jay between giggles. "Noooooo, I don't wanna beard!"

"You won't get one," laughed Cole, struggling to keep the marker out of Jay's clutches. "Hold still!"

"Somebody's going to lose an eye!" warned Zane, although he was watching the fracas with amusement himself. It wasn't long before Jay was wearing the lopsided outline of a clown mouth and the world's most battered pair of eyeglasses. Cole had also attempted to scrawl "dork" across his forehead, but had lost possession of the marker before he could finish. Jay was trying to get his revenge now, but Cole was still holding the marker too and neither could gain full control of it.

"Leggo that marker, or I'll—Oh shoot—" gasped Jay, and yanked a pillow over his face. "Ha _choo!_ "

Cole yelped as bolts of electricity shot from Jay's body—not enough to do any damage to the earth ninja, but plenty enough to leave his hair standing on end. Jay blinked at him from over the pillow for a second, equally startled; then they both exploded into laughter again. Cole fell backwards off the bed. Zane, though still shaking his head, was now laughing softly too.

"Man." Jay at last sat up, breathless and wiping his eyes. "If this is permanent marker, I'm gonna kill ya."

"It's washable," said Cole, coaxing the last of the static from his hair. "Comes right off with a wet rag."

"That was not water on the rag; that was solvent, which has since evaporated. The marker is indeed permanent," said Zane blandly. Cole and Jay looked at him, startled, and noticed the mischievous glint in the Nindroid's eyes. Somebody had his funny switch on.

"Annnnnd you're not gonna let us know where the solvent is, I'm guessing?" said Jay. The devilish sparkle grew brighter as Zane shook his head. Jay and Cole turned to each other now, realizing the potential awkwardness of the situation. Cole spoke up first.

"Do we get him?"

"Get him!" agreed Jay. They both lunged for Zane, and soon enough the Nindroid was artistically improved as well.

"Well? Where's the solvent now, huh?" asked Cole, dodging as Jay attempted to go after him again. "Not _me_ , Jay, get him!"

"Every man for himself, gosh darnit!" Jay hollered.

"Hey, what's going on in—Woah!" Kai walked in, then immediately backed up and grabbed the doorframe in mock trepidation. "Uhh . . . is there something I should know?"

"Only that justice is being served," said Jay, grimly inking a daisy across Zane's nose. Kai, eyebrow quirked, studied Jay's forehead.

"Uhh, 'Do?' . . . Do what?"

Zane hijacked the marker and finished the word before Jay even realized what was happening.

"Ohh." Kai chuckled.

"Heyyyyy!" Jay gave Zane a look of feigned irritation, getting only a slightly tentative smile in return. The Nindroid seemed surprised at himself. Jay shook his head silently, then gave him a significant half-smile. If this was going to be Zane's first attempt to show the others his drawing abilities, it had gone pretty darn well.

"Okay, change of plans," said Cole, spitting on one hand and scrubbing futilely at the marker on his cheek. "If we can't get this stuff off, we can at least drag the others with us. Kai's next."

"Oh no you don't!" Kai disappeared like magic.

"Somebody catch him and hold him down!" Cole shouted down the hallway. He was about to set out in pursuit with Zane, but Jay grabbed his arm.

"Cole, Cole, ohhh man! I just realized! You HAVE to grow a beard!"

"Uhhh . . . I do?"

"A great bushy one!" Jay indicated the extent of bushiness with his hands. "It'll be the greatest, listen! You can grow a bushy beard. And then you can wear your plaid lumberjack shirt. And then— _you can be a hipster!_ " Jay flailed in generalized elation. "You have to do it!"

"Ohhh, for—I don't _want_ to be a hipster, Jay."

"But you have toooo! You have to grow a beard!"

"Nope, nope." Cole set off down the hallway. "No hipster."

"You don't know what you're missing!" Jay shouted after him, shaking his fist. Getting no reply, he settled back on the floor, sighing. That had been fun; it was getting harder and harder to get Cole to loosen up these days. For a second he wondered how much time was left before they couldn't goof around like this anymore. It was bound to happen someday, wasn't it?

A familiar hot sensation shot through his nasal cavity, and he sneezed hard. Black blobs rushed across his vision, and for a moment afterwards, they wouldn't go away. Everything was dark. Was he losing consciousness? Disoriented, he pawed at the air, finally bringing his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes furiously.

Slowly the darkness cleared. The dizziness vanished, leaving only a sticky nausea. He gulped, waiting for it to pass. That had been a little scary . . . He couldn't wait for this cold to go away.

Finally everything seemed to steady out and he felt normal-ish again. Just really, really tired. Sighing, he pushed himself to his feet and went out to look for Lloyd.

He met Nya in the hallway; she had a fancy black butterfly inked on her cheek.

"Uhh, Nya, you've got some marker on your face," said Jay, grinning. She smirked.

"You're one to talk."

"What?" Jay felt at his face, then realized that he was still wearing a connoisseur's collection of scribbles. "Oh shoot."

"Zane's got the solvent," laughed Nya. "Hurry up and get a look at Kai before they clean him up."

* * *

Once the commotion finally died down, Nya hauled Jay and Lloyd into her workroom. The aliens came too, though they hardly seemed interested in this kind of engineering.

"Okay, so we need to build a catapult device of sorts," said Nya, sketching on scrap of paper. "It needs to trigger when Kai opens the fridge. 'course, that means it'd trigger when _anyone_ opens the fridge, so you guys will have to set it up late at night, once everyone's in bed and Kai's asleep."

"But before he wakes up to watch his show," said Jay. "We can do that."

"All right," said Nya. "We're gonna need tensile potential energy here. Standard coil springs?"

"Lacks force," said Jay, shaking his head. "We'd have to use a spring thickness that'd make latching almost impossible. Maybe counterweights?"

"Or a clockwork spring?" said Nya. "That might give us optimal rebound rate along with greater flexibility."

" . . . Can I help here?" said Lloyd plaintively.

"Heh, sorry bud." Jay handed him a screwdriver. "Just let us get the technobabble out of the way, and then it's mostly just gonna be throwing screws around."

"Aw, does that mean I don't get to play with the Tinkertoys?"

"Traitorous blasphemer!" said Jay, taking up a soldering iron. Lloyd shielded his head with both arms hastily. Jay studied the soldering iron—it was a rather heavy proposition—then settled for poking Lloyd with it sternly.

"Consider that a warning, blasphemous fishy one."

Lloyd chuckled, and Jay allowed himself a mental pat on the back. Nya caught his eye and gave him a tiny nod of understanding. There was still a scar etched in the scales of Lloyd's dragon, which probably meant a corresponding scar in the fabric of his mind. The busier they kept him the better.

* * *

"Jay!" hissed Lloyd in the dead of night, shaking the blue ninja. "Jayyyyy, wake up!"

"Mluhruph—"

"Shhhhhh!" Lloyd clamped a hand over Jay's mouth. "Jay, come _on!_ Mission R-O-K is underway!"

Jay pushed his hand away, groaning softly.

"I'm up, I'm up . . . "

Lloyd shook him one final time and disappeared. Jay sat for a moment, rubbing his eyes blearily and feeling his runny nose starting up again. Still sleep-drugged, he rolled out of bed and stumbled down the hall towards the kitchen, not really remembering why he was going there. He waited by the kitchen door, scrubbing at his eyes and snuffling grumpily. Why were they dragging around in the middle of the night again? . . .

"Where were you?" Lloyd's voice hissed by his ear, causing him to jump.

"Don't do that!" he protested.

"Shhhh. You were supposed to meet me in the spare room!" scolded Lloyd, elbowing him carefully despite the invention cradled in his arms. "What are you, still asleep?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Jay twitched suddenly.

"Oh dangit," he whispered, clamping his hands over his mouth. "I think I'm gonna sneeze!"

"No, don't!"

Lloyd yanked Jay into the kitchen and threw the door shut; Jay took a gulp of air and sneezed as quietly as he could, wrapping both arms over his face. Lightning fizzed off his clothes, illuminating the kitchen in a dancing white-blue glow.

" _Wurrawurrawurra?_ " Mopp bobbed up from the sink, looking curious but pleased at the late-night visitors. " _Weeb!_ "

"Shhhhhhh!" hissed Lloyd, waving his hands frantically.

" _Billy-oo!_ "

Lloyd cast Jay a desperate look. Darting across the kitchen, Jay scooped up the alien, reducing his babble to a contented hum. Muttering, he slipped on the hoodie and plopped Mopp into the hood.

"Just what I need at this hour of the night," he sighed. "A cold alien dripping water down my back."

"Come on, let's hurry!" Lloyd was already by the refrigerator. Meep chirped drowsily from his perch atop it, too sleepy to care what they were up to.

They worked swiftly, pushing aside yogurts and cartons of juice to make room as they fitted the unwieldy contraption into place. They gave it a dry run empty, and it worked perfectly.

" _Wurrrble?_ " inquired Mopp, peering over Jay's shoulder into the fridge's glowing interior.

"Very wurble," Lloyd laughed softly as he fetched a paper plate. He and Jay began to heap it with great fluffy piles of plain and chocolate marshmallow whip. Jay suddenly froze, waving a warning, and Lloyd backed up hastily as the blue ninja sneezed again. It came out as a strange strangled noise because he was trying to stifle it so hard, and Lloyd couldn't help but snicker. Jay, equally wound-up, retaliated with a marshmallow handprint across Lloyd's face. A few seconds of muffled laughter and shoving marshmallow whip back and forth, then they got hold of themselves before they wasted all of it and got back to work.

"Woah, this stuff is really good," remarked Jay, swiping a dollop of chocolate fluff from his forehead and popping it into his mouth. "We'll be doing Kai a favor."

"As long as his mouth is open," grinned Lloyd.

At last they carefully positioned the overflowing plate properly on the contraption, eased the refrigerator door shut, and declared their work complete. Dropping a peaceful Mopp back into the sink, they exchanged a quiet high-five and hurried back to bed. They crept as swiftly as silence permitted down the hall towards the bunkroom, jittery from the excitement of it all.

Suddenly Lloyd's hand closed around Jay's arm in a vice grip. There was a distinct shuffle of movement coming from Sensei Wu's room. The two miscreants traded wide-eyed horrified looks—if they were caught, they were dead. At the _very_ least, they would be interrogated, lectured sternly, and ordered to take their carefully-prepared construct down.

Lloyd turned, ready to bolt back down the hallway to the kitchen. Jay shook his head furiously and began to drag him the other way, _towards_ Wu's door. Even as they tore towards the bunkroom, Sensei Wu's door was creaking open—they shot in through the bunkroom door, barely remembered to yank it silently shut behind them, and threw themselves into their beds, burrowing under the covers.

For a moment they stayed perfectly still, faces buried in their pillows to muffle their panting. If Sensei Wu had heard them and came in to investigate, there was no way that they'd be able to fool him into thinking they were asleep. Even if they hadn't been breathing heavily from the adrenaline-filled dash, Wu was the one who had _taught_ them all how to tell when someone was faking sleep. He'd know.

The seconds ticked by. They heard their Sensei's soft tread pass the door and continue down the hallway. It didn't stop, nor did it turn back.

The minute his steps faded away, Lloyd and Jay both popped up from their pillows, grinning at each other like idiots. Jay reached over to shake Lloyd's hand enthusiastically.

"We're golden, Lloyd! Golden," he whispered. Lloyd swung a fist exuberantly. Eventually they both settled down again, still laughing silently and savoring their imminent victory. Jay eyed the bunk across the room, where Kai was peacefully asleep on the top level.

"Sleep while you can, O vainglorious Kai," he intoned under his breath. "Marshmallow doom awaits your unsuspecting face."

Lloyd stifled his giggles into his pillow.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, there's definitely no way this could go wrong.**

 **Sooooo, I know I said there wouldn't be any "Backstage with Jay" oneshots for a while, but it looks like I was mistaken! I took some chapters apart, and when I put them back together there were pieces left over. So into Backstage they'll go! I swear, this story is a creaking hulk already, but shunting pieces into Backstage is the only thing keeping it from looking like the Walkers' junkyard and the Preeminent had a baby.**

 **Anyways! Feel free to check there if you'd like an extra bit of fluff. Some bits and bobs about how Elemental dragons work too, at least by my headcanon. Whee!**


	56. Mm Watcha Say

**TheAmberShadow: Hoho, you may be onto something there! You never know. My capacity to be mean to characters is not small, especially when they dig their own graves by trying reckless pranks. XP  
Heh, glad you liked! Zane's gonna be A-okay, humanity-wise; Lloyd . . . well, we'll see.  
Billy-oo is alien speak. I think it means "I rejoice at your unexpected arrival, let us revel in nocturnal frivolity!" Or something along those lines. :P  
I happen to be fond of owl emotes, so no harm, no foul. :) Heh, not a morning person?  
And regarding your reviews elsewhere; thanks for those! Sure, I'd love to hear your theory about Jay and Cole. Lay it on me. :3**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Haha, even Nya's help might not be enough. We'llllll see. And yeah, Cole probably wouldn't have any luck being a hipster. He'd have to give up cake, it's too mainstream. :P**

 **Zaptrap: Hai! Nah, sorry, I've never watched Gravity Falls. What looked like a reference? ^_^'' So it was Kai, huh? Hoo boy. Nash was bound to catch up to him eventually I guess . . . Good thing you brought him back, though. Thanks for the review!**

 **Monranr: Haha, Nya is on nobody's side but her own. XP Believe me, Lloyd and Jay are ready for it too! Thanks for the review. :)**

 **lightningcat: Fair 'nuff! No harm in backing out if it's not something you want to do, either.**

* * *

 **Sept 18**

 **7:43 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Temporarily suspended**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay sick/feverish with recovering shoulder, Cole with recovering hand**

* * *

The next morning, Jay and Lloyd both slept a little late after their middle-of-the-night shenanigans. Lloyd woke first.

"Jay, wake up!" he hissed, poking at the lump under the covers. "The others have gone to breakfast already!"

"Urgghhhhhh . . . "

Lloyd jumped back as a muffled sneeze burst from under the blankets, accompanied by tendrils of lightning sparkling through the fabric.

"Come on Jay, wake up! We've got him by now!"

"Urgh." Jay sat up woozily, rubbing one eye, and gave a drowsy grin. "Oboy, you're right. Wow." He rubbed his eyes again, looking like he was having difficulty dragging himself together. "Huh. I'm surprised he hasn't killed us yet."

"Uh-oh." Lloyd sobered. "He might be planning _his_ revenge now!"

"That's not Kai's style, though," said Jay, hauling himself to his feet. "I'd have thought he'd come straight in here and try to kill us in our sleep."

"Maybe it didn't work? . . . "

Trading uneasy looks, they got dressed and headed to breakfast.

They found everyone else still at the table, munching away. Lloyd raised his eyebrows at Jay—there was a carton of milk out. The refrigerator had definitely been opened, but there was no marshmallow whip to be seen anywhere and Kai looked perfectly relaxed. What happened?

"Can we try the flash drive today?" asked Cole. "Would it be dry by now?"

"One more day." Nya shook her head.

"Ughhh. I hate just sitting around waiting," grumbled Kai. "We went to all that trouble, we've got to _do_ something now!"

"Hey, if the drive is still damp when we plug it in, it could fry completely and everything would be lost. We can't take _any_ chances."

"Patience is a virtue," said Wu. "For now you should focus on your training, so that you may be ready to face whatever the information reveals. Kai, you also need to receive your final rabies shot. Zane can go along to assist you."

Breakfast went by uneventfully, aside from Jay sneezing and electrocuting the orange juice. When Lloyd got up to take his dishes away, Jay waited a minute or two and followed him to the kitchen. He found Lloyd washing his cereal bowl in the sink, looking pensive.

"I already checked," said Lloyd as Jay headed for the fridge. "The whole setup is gone, like it was never there."

"We didn't just _dream_ the whole thing, did we?" asked Jay, bewildered. Lloyd shook his head, pushing Mopp away gently as the alien grabbed for the sponge.

"There's just _no way_ Kai would be in that good a mood after getting pied in the face, even if he was plotting something. Do you think he caught onto us somehow and avoided it?"

"Nuh-uh. He always turns it around to get us instead, remember?" said Jay, swiping a sleeve under his nose. "He'd have sprung it by now."

Lloyd stepped aside to let Jay wash his own bowl and leaned back against the counter, arms folded. He frowned at the refrigerator as if he suspected this was all its fault.

"It couldn't have gotten anyone else, either," said Jay thoughtfully. "Nya knew about it, and Cole or Zane would have mentioned it."

Suddenly Lloyd twitched. Jay looked over to find the younger ninja staring off into space with a look of complete and utter horror spreading across his features.

"Jay," he said slowly. "When Uncle Wu was heading down the hall last night . . . "

The bowl dropped from Jay's hands and clattered into the sink.

"Holy . . . "

They stared at each other in mute horror for a moment.

"It couldn't have," stammered Lloyd at last.

"It must have," said Jay, eyes wide.

"I can't believe this . . . " Lloyd buried his face in his hands. "Oh my gosh. We are _dead_."

"M-maybe he dodged or something? You know he's all epic with the reflexes," said Jay hopefully.

"Even so, we're still dead." Lloyd shook his head in despair. "This is a disaster. What were we _thinking?_ "

A miserable silence. At last Jay picked up the bowl, venturing a wan smile.

"Well, at least we can die knowing we've got . . . _that_ . . . achievement under our belts. I'm pretty sure nobody can claim this kinda distinction."

"I could do without it!" groaned Lloyd. "What are they gonna put on our tombstones? 'Clobbered their uncle and Sensei with marshmallow whip'?"

They shared a humorless, shaky laugh, more out of nervousness than anything else.

"Jay, Lloyd?"

They both jumped violently at Sensei Wu's voice. The Sensei stood in the doorway, regarding them keenly.

"Please inform Cole that you will be delayed slightly in training today. Then come to my room. I would like to speak to the two of you in private."

Then he was gone. The two doomed mischief-makers looked at each other in terror.

"We die together?" said Lloyd.

"We die together."

* * *

It was all they could do to look even remotely casual as they told Cole the news. Their nervousness only grew as they slowly approached Wu's room, knowing they were about to face the wrath of a Sensei caught in the crossfire.

They stood before him, resigned to their fate.

"Jay, nephew," said Wu gravely, surveying their anxious faces. "I assume you two are the reason I found the kitchen coated with marshmallow whip last night?"

Both of them nearly yelped from relief right then and there.

"The kitchen?" asked Jay carefully.

"Yes," said Wu. "Your aliens seem to have learned how to open the refrigerator; last night I found they had gotten into the marshmallow whip and were spreading it all over the floor and cabinets. And I seem to recall you two bringing home quite a lot of marshmallow whip the other day? . . . "

Lloyd looked like he was about to fall over. Jay did his best to look remorseful.

"Uh, well, it was a . . . a joke, Sensei." Which was perfectly true. If Sensei Wu wrongly assumed that the joke had involved training the aliens to find the marshmallow whip and mess up the kitchen, well, no harm done.

That said, they were probably still in trouble. Just a lot less of it.

"I see." Sensei Wu sounded tired. "I understand there is a war of some sort?"

"Uhhh . . . Y-yes, Sensei. Sort of." Maybe they weren't out of the woods yet.

"I see. Can I trust both of you—all of you—not to let this get out of hand?"

Jay and Lloyd both blinked at him in surprise.

"You mean . . . we don't have to stop?" ventured Lloyd.

"I would rather you did," admitted Wu. "But you are all young yet. As long as you are not compromising anyone's safety, causing any damage, or neglecting your responsibilities, I suppose it would not be fair of me to forbid you a bit of fun."

Stunned silence. They weren't even in trouble?!

"So, once again," said Wu. "Will you make sure to keep this little war of yours under control?"

"Of course, Uncle," said Lloyd fervently. "We promise."

"Very well then." Wu gave a faint smile. "You are dismissed. And . . . good luck."

He got a pair of grateful grins in return. The two miscreants were halfway out the door already when Sensei Wu suddenly called them back.

"One more thing!"

They turned, eyes questioning.

"You may want to thank Nya," said Wu. "I was going to wake the two of you last night, but I met Nya in the hallway, and she volunteered to clean up the kitchen. At such a late hour, too."

So _that_ was why nobody else had known. Good grief! If Nya hadn't intercepted Wu, he would have found the two of them still awake and it would have led to all kinds of other questions. Jay and Lloyd exchanged a meaningful glance before bowing respectfully.

"We'll make sure to thank her, Uncle."

Then all of a sudden they were out in the sunshine again, scott-free. In no rush to get back to the training room, they drifted over to the ship's railing and leaned against it, still processing what had just happened. Lloyd sank his face into his hands and started to laugh.

"Phew!" he gasped. "Did we ever squeak out of that one!"

"Y-yeah," said Jay weakly, leaning beside him. "Close shave."

"Man. Thank _goodness_ the aliens got curious and figured out how to open the fridge . . . I don't know if I've got the guts to try getting Kai again, that was _too_ close. Think we should give up, J—Jay?!"

The lightning ninja was leaning way over the railing, throwing up. Lloyd winced, trying not to look grossed-out. At last Jay stopped hacking and swung back upright. He coughed and swiped the back of his hand over his mouth, panting.

"S-sorry 'bout that."

"Were you _that_ scared?" Lloyd ventured, wide-eyed.

"Guess so." Jay gave a shame-faced laugh. "I'm kind've a wimp, huh?"

"Nah . . . I was pretty much ready to hurl myself," said Lloyd awkwardly. He studied Jay with a touch of worry, but the color was already returning to the ninja's face and he didn't look ill anymore at all. It must've been the nerves.

"Think you're up to training now?" he asked.

"Sure, I'm fine. Just lemme get a drink, I'll join you in a sec." Jay caught at Lloyd's arm as he passed by. "Uhh . . . wait, you're not gonna tell the others, are you?"

"About this?" Lloyd hesitated. "Well, as long as you're fine, nah. I . . . know how it is."

"Thanks," said Jay, relieved. "Just, it'd make 'em ask questions, you know? And they'd find out about last night."

"Sure," said Lloyd gently. Jay gave his arm a light punch.

"We'll figure out what to do with Kai later."

In the hallway they met Nya. She looked panicked.

"Guys! There you are! I couldn't talk to you at breakfast, Sensei found the—"

"Kitchen last night, we know," said Lloyd. "He already talked to us."

"And you got out of it okay?" asked Nya, surprised.

"Yeah, he thinks the aliens just dumped marshmallow whip everywhere," said Jay. "We're safe. And it's all thanks to you!" Impulsively he grasped Nya's hands and looked solemnly into her eyes. "Did I ever tell you you're amazing?"

"I think so, but it doesn't get old," laughed Nya. "You two owe me big-time, you know. First for keeping this quiet and helping you build the contraption, then for getting up to check on you at all hours and covering for you last night. And cleaning up the whole kitchen myself!"

"No, really. You are amazing," repeated Jay, squeezing her hands. "If I weren't sick, I could kiss you."

"I'm done here!" said Lloyd hastily. "Thanks again Nya, bye Nya."

He took off down the hall. Nya laughed and turned back to Jay, who was already bright-red in the face as he registered his own audacity.

"You're sure you don't wanna kiss me now?" she asked affectionately. Jay shook his head, turning even redder.

"B-believe me, you don't want what I have right now. But I promise, Nya, the minute I'm better . . . w-well. Yeah."

"Okay. I'll take a rain check," said Nya, smiling gently. "Just one more reason for you to get well soon, Jay."

She stood on the very tips of her tiptoes and kissed his temple swiftly, then gave him a smile and whisked down the hall. Jay swayed, caught slightly off-guard, but smiling from ear to ear.

* * *

He was a little shaky in training that morning, but then, so was Lloyd. They were both still a bit thrown-in-for-loops. Luckily their incompetence went mostly unnoticed, because everyone else was doing shabbily as well. Kai was still wearing his splint, and Cole's weapon hand was still too raw for heavy use.

"I am so done with this thing," groaned Kai, kicking his splint lightly against a training carousel. "How long till it can come off?"

"It depends," said Wu. "If you are willing to drink the healing tea daily, you could probably take the splint off by tomorrow afternoon."

"Ah, no, y'know, I think I want to do this the old-fashioned way," said Kai hastily, shuddering at the mention of tea.

"In that case, four to six weeks."

Kai groaned.

Jay's shoulder was a little tender, but the stitches held this time and the infection seemed to be clearing up.

"They really wrecked you up," murmured Nya, watching as Zane carefully swiped the wound with antiseptic.

"Ah, it looks worse than it really is," said Jay, trying to be hardcore. "You know how it is. Life of a ninja."

"All stitches no kisses," muttered Kai glumly from the chair he was draped over, still contemplating the possibility of tea.

"Uhhh . . . " Jay instantly went bright-red all over again. "Y-yeah . . . Yeah."

He caught Nya's eye and returned her grin. Man. This cold better go away _fast_.

He did realize all throughout training that the others were going easy on him, but honestly he was too drained to feel anything but grateful. Besides, that made it easier to hide the fact that his insides still weren't exactly . . . cooperating.

* * *

The cold only got worse, and by that evening Jay was sneezing so much that he blinked like a firefly. He sneezed four times just brushing his teeth, and the silent looks the others traded were not lost on him.

"Guys," he said through a stuffy nose, plopping down on the edge of his bunk. "You're not gonna be able to sleep."

"Kinda," admitted Kai. Some awkward shrugs from the others. Nobody wanted to be the one to kick Jay out (the only other options were the couch or a cot crammed among the boxes in the spare room), but the fact of the matter was they were all going to be pretty miserable if he stayed.

"Okay," said Jay, chuckling glumly. "I'll head out to the spare room."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, no big deal. Urghhh, this is some cold . . . " Jay pinched between his eyes. Meep hopped into his lap, coaxing to be scratched, and Jay obliged absent-mindedly.

"I know this isn't gonna go over well, but I'm really starting to wonder if this isn't some weird alien bug," said Cole. Jay fixed him with a "not-this-again" look.

"Well, don't look at me like that! Think about it. This is a really weird cold that isn't like any cold any of us have had before. And when do you catch it? A few days after picking up the aliens."

"It's _also_ a few days after I got repeatedly soaked and chilled!" retorted Jay. "How come nobody blames the freezing water down in that creek, huh? Or the stupid walk-in freezer? Or that time I flew too high? Or the weird groundwater? Or those drafty tunnels?"

"Colds don't work that way!" Cole shook his head impatiently. "Look, I'm not trying to blame them, but we have to take this seriously. Alien germs are a possibility. And if it _is_ alien germs, can you imagine what this could do to humanity? _Everyone could die._ "

Jay twitched in helpless fury. Deep down he knew this really was something they should worry about. A _lot_. But on the surface, all he could register was how betrayed he felt. He couldn't bear to admit there was real danger, not even to himself, not when he'd grown to love the little creatures so much. He knew denial was stupid and dangerous. That only made him angrier.

"No one else is sick," he said tightly.

"And if that changes?" said Cole.

"I-I still say I just picked it up somewhere else! You can't just rule that out!"

"Jay, facts are facts, you've had way more contact with those aliens than the rest of us. You had the most opportunities to pick up their germs."

"Who's picking up germs here?! _I_ wasn't the one bathed in their blood."

Cole shut up fast and hard. A good few poisonous looks were sent Jay's way.

"Nice," said Kai acidically. Jay looked away, not quite sorry enough to apologize.

"And I'm with Cole." Kai set in on him in turn.

"You stay out of this, Kai!"

"I will not. Sure they're cute, sure they've _acted_ harmless all this time, but it hasn't even been a month! What do we know about them? Darn little. No evidence in their favor, plenty against them—but you'll defend them to your last breath, because now you've decided they're your kids or something. A fair chance is one thing, but come _on,_ this is just being too naïve."

"I am nowhere near too naïve! _You're_ too suspicious!"

"They could be straight-up trying to kill you and you'd still deny it."

"And when exactly have they tried to kill me? Ohhh, they _definitely_ made me sick, sure! On purpose too! Just because they're aliens and they show up at the wrong time, suddenly they're responsible for everything bad that happens, huh?!"

"Are you seriously not into logic?"

"At least I'm not only into it when there's someone convenient to blame. Let me see, was this not a thing with the snakes as well?"

"Oh, so now I'm a xenophobe?"

"Well if the shoe fits—!"

Meep was cowering into Jay's arms by now, and Lloyd and Zane were looking miserable. They both hated arguments, but peacemaking was usually impossible in any clash between the team's most vehement members.

"Guys, guys, let it go," broke in Cole grudgingly. "It's late. Save it for later, okay?"

Kai grunted, dissatisfied. Jay glowered at the floor, swiping at his runny nose.

"Yeah, later," he said at last, getting up. "'Night."

"Do you need some help setting up the cot?" said Zane quietly.

"I'll be fine." Jay tucked Meep under his arm and left.

The silence afterwards seemed stifling. Cole plunked down on the edge of the nearest bed with a muffled sigh. Zane tentatively laid a hand on his shoulder.

"We're right, you know," said Kai bitterly, clambering up into his bunk.

"Yeah, yeah." Cole rubbed his forehead. "I guess. We'll talk to him tomorrow; it's no use trying to talk sense with anyone in the middle of a cold."

He glanced guiltily over to Lloyd, who had pulled the covers way up under his chin and rolled over to face the wall. The bunkroom was silent except for the occasional muffled scraping sound of Jay pushing aside boxes and setting up his cot in the next room. It was way too quiet without the blue ninja's chatter or even his sneezing. Hopefully things would be cleared up tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N: Sure they will~**

 **Say, question for something much later in this story! I have in mind two different ways of getting something done. I've weighed the pros and cons of either option, and they're coming out pretty even, so I figured I'd seek y'all's opinion to tip the scales.**

 **So, there are two ways to reach the same end result. One is painless and perhaps vaguely uplifting; the other involves gore and trauma and senseless waste of life.**

 **Preferences?**


	57. Don't Taze Me Bro

**. . . Annnnd the "painless or gory?" question results in a broad difference of opinion. So I guess no matter what happens now, a lot of people will be unhappy. Hm. Like politics!**

 **Anyway, I really should have been more clear back there. I thought the whole "same result either way" thing would make it obvious there weren't any major characters at stake, but in hindsight I shoulda said it explicitly: the question was about a background character. Never even seen the guy before. That's where the "senseless" part kicks in** **—** **it's like Star Trek kills off red-shirts for dramatic effect.**

 **But since the vote swung slightly in favor of death . . . and since many of the objections to death centered on main characters . . . looks like that sucker is probably toast. Poor guy. Hope he didn't have a wife and kids.**

* * *

 **Greenninjaisbae: Okayyyyyy, then. XD Vote noted!**

 **Monranr: Heh, don't worry, it was a background character. I'm calling my own shots when it comes to main character deaths.  
. . . And, uh, lives. Lives too!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: They have good reason to worry. XP So, uh, what was your vote? Or were you not intending to vote? ^_^''**

 **Anonymous S: Thanks! Glad you're enjoying. Heh, I liked the painless option more on a personal level, but I had a feeling the bloody one would be more literarily compelling . . . And then there were a bunch of other factors. Vote noted!**

 **anonymoose: Springing out of the shadows just to request a bloodbath, eh? Dang, moose are scary. :P**

 **Ninja Pony: Well sure, they would never _intentionally_ make Jay sick, but if they were germy or something that'd be out of their control . . .**

 **TheAmberShadow: Heh, if I knew which one was better for the story, I'd have picked that one already. ^_^'' Ah, it was just a background character whose life was on the line . . . Blame the aliens for everything, huh? :P  
Woahhhh! That is one impressive theory! And it's actually quite common for siblings to not look alike, so that works.  
Only, uh** **—** **was the Master of Earth really on Chen's side? I always thought he was fighting alongside the other Masters, but then Kai's dad accidentally hit him with fire, so he got ticked off and attacked him back. At least, that's what it looked like. ^_^''**

 **Zaptrap: Vote noted! Heh, I update on Tuesdays, man. No other day. I'm sure Jay would very much like being petted, but I have to warn you in his current state he's likely to sneeze on you. Are you prepared to take that risk? :P**

 **Zoodirektor: Haiiiiii! ^_^ Vote noted. And you're welcome! Thanks for the tip.**

* * *

 **Sept 19**

 **7:22 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Lloyd and Kai**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay heavily under**

* * *

The next morning, Jay was late to breakfast.

"I'll get him," said Zane. He was gone for quite a bit, and he returned looking grim.

"He is even sicker than he was last night," he announced. "He was barely able to wake up, and I can feel his fever while standing two feet away from him."

Nya, with the most medical expertise, went over to see. The others hung around the doorway awkwardly, not wanting to intrude.

"Jay?" Nya edged her way into the storeroom, peering through the assorted boxes and crates. Jay was sitting up on his cot, looking positively stoned.

"I'm fine," he grumbled blearily, raking a hand through his hair. "Just a little drowsy, geez. Gimme a minute already."

Nya strode over and placed a hand against his forehead. Her eyes widened.

"You're burning up," she said. "Back in bed. Now."

"Uh-uh." Jay tried to push himself to his feet.

"Jay, stop it," ordered Nya, and pressed him gently back down onto the cot. The minute her hands touched his shoulders, though, she gave a little scream and yanked them back. Blue sparks danced from her fingertips to Jay's body, fizzing.

"Sorry," rasped Jay, looking up at her guiltily. "I can't control it anymore . . . "

"Lie down, okay?" said Nya. "It's all right." Cautiously she reached out to touch his hand again, and this time no sparks flew. "You're dehydrated . . . "

"What happened?" asked Cole from the doorway, his brows knitted. "I mean the lightning stuff was weird, but it was just a cold! He didn't seem so bad even yesterday, did he?"

"I dunno. He threw up yesterday morning," said Lloyd, looking at the floor.

"What?!" Nya turned, startled. "And you never said anything?!"

"Thanks a lot, rat fink," muttered Jay, pulling his knees up to his chin. He still refused to lie down.

"Jay, honestly, why would you keep something like that quiet? What _is_ it with men and trying to look tough?" Nya scruffed up her hair despairingly. "But you don't get this dehydrated after throwing up just once. How many times has it been by now?"

Jay looked away sullenly.

"Jay." Nya's tone brooked no denial.

"I dunno, ten, twelve? It's not like I was counting," mumbled Jay at last, glaring at his hands.

"Since last morning?!"

" . . . Overnight."

"Oh my gosh." Nya dragged a hand down her face. "Wow. Let . . . let me see if I have some electrolytes."

* * *

The day seemed to pass by unusually quietly. Besides the fact that Jay and his ever-working tongue were absent, it just felt wrong to make a normal amount of noise when someone was lying sick a few rooms over. Conversations were subdued, consciously or subconsciously.

While passing by in the hall, Cole poked his head into the spare room to check on Jay. The lightning ninja looked asleep, but when the hinges creaked his eyes slid open.

"Hey," he said, smiling drowsily. He didn't try to get up, which said something about how tired he must be.

"Hey thundercracker," said Cole gently, stepping closer. "How're you feeling?"

"Eh." Jay gave him a rueful grin. "Stupid and contagious."

Cole smirked back, understanding.

"Well, Zane's pretty sure you're not _one_ of those, anyway."

"Oh? What've I got?" asked Jay, perking up.

"Uhh . . . well, we . . . don't know," said Cole. "But there's nothing you could give to anyone else. Zane and Nya are running all the tests they can think of—or at least pull off—but they can't find anything in your blood or anything."

"Oh," said Jay, settling back again. "Well that's . . . weird."

 _And kinda worrisome_ , Cole added mentally, but said nothing out loud. There was a bit of silence.

"It's not alien germs," said Jay. "I know it's not."

Cole started to say something, but at last gave a long sigh and a resigned smile.

"Okay, Zaptrap. Okay." He moved to punch Jay's shoulder, but changed his mind when he felt the tingle of electricity radiating from his body. "Just keep resting, 'kay?"

"Nah, I'm totally turning cartwheels when nobody's around," snorted Jay, rolling onto his side. "Dancing on the ceiling."

Cole chuckled sympathetically and slipped out.

* * *

The next to slip into the room was Nya, accompanied by Lloyd. They found Jay asleep, his breath shallow.

"Jay," whispered Nya, shaking his arm ever so slightly. "Wake up, Jay. You've gotta drink something."

Jay gave an unwilling groan, burrowing into his pillow. When Nya finally managed to jostle him into awareness, his eyes blinked open fever-bright.

"Just a little," coaxed Nya, holding up a cup of sports drink. Jay crossed his eyes at at, clearly seeing several cups where there should be one.

"Take it easy." Nya helped him get a proper grip on the glass. "Slowly."

"The flash drive," Jay mumbled, holding the cup away so Nya couldn't force it on him. "We're s'posed to see it. I wanna be there—"

"I know Jay, don't worry," said Nya. "I'll wait."

"But the Techs—" Jay shook his head woozily. "Gotta open it now."

"It's fine, Jay. You'll get better soon. It can wait that long, don't worry."

Jay mumbled something and begin to gulp at the sports drink thirstily. Lloyd snuck a glance at Nya, asking with his eyes if she had meant that. Nya could only shrug. She didn't know.

* * *

The afternoon wore on. They sort of trained. Kai and Lloyd patrolled without incident, and probably sloppily. Jay only got worse. The others lurked around the doorway again as Zane and Nya called a doctor.

"Temperature forty-one point ninety-five Celsius," said Zane into the phone. "Dehydrated, catatonic."

"Eyyyy?" From across the room Jay abruptly rose from the bed like one reanimated. "Kittehz?"

"No kitties." Cole stepped over and gently levered him back down to the pillow. Sparks snapped as he drew his hand away.

"Also delusional," sighed Zane. "We're not equipped to administer anything intravenously, but it's difficult to wake him enough to drink safely." He listened for a moment, rubbing his forehead. "Yes. All right. I suppose we could try . . . yes, thank you. We will."

He hung up.

"Ideally we should get him to the emergency room," he said bleakly.

A heavy silence. They had already tried to move Jay in hopes of carrying him on a dragon, but it was impossible to touch him safely for more than six seconds. He was channeling ridiculous amounts of electricity.

"I'll fix the _Bounty_ ," said Nya, her jaw tight. "I'll do it as fast as I can. Meanwhile, we've got to bring down his fever before it does damage."

Zane nodded quietly, already sparking a cool mist of ice crystals around one hand. Nya strode off down the hall, and the others began to disperse soberly.

"Kai, I need to get some cloth to wrap the ice in," said Zane, catching the fire ninja's shoulder. "Can you keep an eye on him for a moment? I don't want to leave him unsupervised."

"Anything I should keep an eye out for?" asked Kai uneasily.

"Any sudden changes. It will only be a moment."

Kai grimaced, but gave a reluctant nod. As Zane disappeared down the hall, the fire ninja edged back into the spare room and perched on a crate, just a bit away from Jay's cot. He'd been staying away all day; he was not equipped to deal with this kind of crisis. He liked crises he could solve if he just punched the right person. Heck, he could even think of a person he felt like punching just now, but that person was on the wrong end of his arms.

"Kai?"

He started. Jay's eyes had opened again; he was blinking slowly, looking surprisingly focused.

"Are you okay?" Kai tilted his head.

"Mmmm." Jay gave a deep sigh. Kai glanced back to the door helplessly, hoping someone would come soon. He didn't know what to do. Jay's silent, glassy-eyed stare made him unreasonably panicky.

"Anything I can get you?" he asked quietly.

"Mm. Got any mints?"

" _Mints?_ " Kai blinked.

"Mints," sighed Jay, and passed out again. Kai looked at him for a moment.

"Yeah, I can find some."

It was only seconds later that Zane came back with a supply of gauze and flannel, and Kai gave him a relieved nod and slipped out of the room as fast as he could.

"Freaking mints," he groaned softly, scruffing back his hair. Seeing Jay utterly delirious like this scared him more than he felt safe admitting. It meant that all kinds of things could be cooking inside his skull, right now. It meant he could _die._

It didn't help that it was way too much like a slobber high.

Something chirped by his foot. He looked down and saw Meep and Mopp, the former dragging the latter along the floor. The two aliens stopped and looked expectantly up at Kai, waiting for him to open the door to the spare room.

"Get going," said Kai. "You're not going in there."

" _Eeee._ " Meep patted at the door with one tentacle. " _Ipp._ "

Meanwhile Mopp bunched himself up and glared up at Kai, scowling as hard as an alien could with no mouth. Kai drew in his breath sharply.

"Forget it!"

He didn't _kick_ Mopp exactly, just gave him a vehement nudge with one toe that flipped him over backwards. Within point-six seconds Meep had leaped between the smaller alien and Kai, tentacles splayed stiffly and making a vicious growling sound. If looks could kill—

For a second it seemed like Kai was about to escalate hostilities. Eventually though, he only gave a despairing growl and swung off down the hall, taking his misery with him.

* * *

As evening drew on, Zane emerged from the spare room looking haggard.

"Cole, could you assist me?"

"Me? How?"

"He has started panicking about rocks, and I can't calm him. I thought since you are an earth master he might listen to you . . . "

Cole looked a little scared about entering whatever fiasco must be unfolding, but he followed Zane. Jay was awake, and at least lying down, but he was shaking his head and waving one hand around like he was conducting an orchestra.

"Get them off," he mumbled. "Get them off, get them off . . . "

"Jay? You okay?" Cole noticed Zane slipping away with a quick wave. He knew even the Nindroid had to catch a moment's break, but he really wished he wouldn't leave him alone like this.

"Help," said Jay thinly.

"I'm here," murmured Cole, trying to sound soothing. "Whatcha need, buddy?"

"Make them stop. They're piling rocks on me. I can't breathe, I can't breathe . . . "

"Easy, easy!" Cole grabbed Jay's flailing hand by the wrist. "There's no rocks. See? I'm here. You're okay."

"They won't stop piling rocks." Jay sounded near tears. "There's so many. Make them stop, they're crushing me."

"Easyyyy, easy. You're fine. I'll get rid of the rocks, okay?"

Cole looked around, unsure what to do. How could he remove rocks that weren't there? He wasn't sure if Jay even realized he was standing here.

After a moment he placed a hand lightly on Jay's chest. The blue ninja was trembling violently, drenched in sweat.

"Feel that? That's me. No rocks, see? They're gone."

"I can't breathe," fretted Jay.

"Shhhh. Take it slow. Nice deep breaths. No rocks."

"Too many rocks."

Cole groaned softly, lost. His hand was starting to burn; he drew it away and winced as a hot white ball of electricity snapped at his fingers. In the momentary silence afterwards he heard a pattering at the door. When it continued, he stepped away for just a second and opened it. There on the floor were Meep and Mopp. Before Cole could make any objections, Meep lugged his smaller companion into the room and proceeded for the cot, making determined growling noises.

Cole watched for a moment as the aliens struggled to crawl themselves up onto the cot. Then he looked to Jay, who was still twitching and panting. After a moment he heaved a deep sigh and scooped Mopp off the floor, setting him by Jay's elbow.

"He better be right about the alien germs."

Mopp gave an insistent rumble, cuddling anxiously into Jay's ribs. Meep landed on his chest and nuzzled under his chin, ignoring the arcs of electricity that started jumping through him. Jay blinked; his breathing slowed. After a moment he visibly relaxed, his eyes slid closed, and he rolled onto his side, draping one arm over Mopp.

"Oh, of course," said Cole to no one in particular. "Don't listen to the guy who freaking controls rocks. Listen to the squeaking alien blobs. Logic." He swallowed the lump in his throat and scratched between Meep's eyes. "Do what you can, little guys."

* * *

Nya worked on the _Bounty_ all through the night. The others took turns keeping watch over Jay. His fever didn't recede, and he barely ever heaved his way into consciousness. Whenever he did, he hallucinated constantly. Occasionally someone would tip a little sports drink down his throat, trying to keep his dehydration from getting any worse.

Kai took his turn, replacing a grimly silent Lloyd. As the fire ninja approached the cot in the spare room, he saw the aliens were still cuddled with the lightning ninja, looking drowsy. As soon as they saw Kai, though, they snapped to attention and began to growl and hiss savagely, bunching themselves up like angry cats. Kai was struck by a reflexive urge to step back.

"Hey, hey, I'm not going to hurt him!" he whispered.

Meep swiped a tentacle at him warningly, his growl rising an octave. Kai stood there for a moment. It was hard to explain how he felt right now. Two creatures who fell from outer space a few weeks ago thought they had to protect one of his best friends whom he'd known for years. From _him_.

"Look, geez," he said quietly. "I'm here to watch over him. C'mon, I brought these."

He held out a little paper roll of mints. The aliens paused their hissing long enough to eye it skeptically.

"He wanted mints," said Kai, wondering why he was explaining himself to an alien blob.

The aliens looked at each other and exchanged some muffled burbles. At last they relaxed and drew back a little, giving Kai significant glances. Sighing, and well aware of the aliens' eyes following his every move, he stepped closer and pressed the roll of mints into Jay's hand. He closed the lightning ninja's fingers over it, but they wouldn't hold. Discouraged, he took back the mints and settled on a crate, ready to keep watch.

The aliens only half-slept. Occasionally they would hold small, quiet conversations between themselves, their tones sober. Then they would look to Jay's face and fall silent.

* * *

 **A/N: I swooooore I wouldn't make song references within the story, they always look lame a year or so later, and here I am making them two chapters in a row** **—**

 **There's also a rather awkward reference to a movie. Awkward because, well, it's really hard to get hold of a version in English, so I can't really suggest you guys go see it.**

 **Anyway, it's called _The Boys of Paul Street._ ****Good movie. Tragic ey eff, though.** **Give me like three-tenths of an excuse to tell you all about it and I will. :P**


	58. I'm Not Crying, You're Crying

**Soooooooo! That's Christmas then. Hope you guys all had a good one! Or at least enjoyed the TV and Chinese food, if that's more your thing. :P**

 **What with all the foofera, I haven't been able to feed the chapter buffer much, which makes me antsy. I'm not to the point of declaring a hiatus just yet, though!**

* * *

 **Greenninjaisbae: No worries. Thanks!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Wellll, Skybound hasn't happened yet in this story, so Jay only gets his suffering from me. :P And the vote was that thing in the final author's note in Chapter 56. I know you saw that, you were asking why I'd make you choose in that fashion. :P**

 **TheAmberShadow: You never know! You never know . . . I'm keeping my plans close to my chest. :3  
** **Jay logic! And also it worked better 'cos he likes the aliens more than Cole~  
. . . Well okay, no he doesn't. Jay loves everyone with all his neurotic little heart.  
The mints were originally a random thing I thought he'd ask for because he was completely off his rocker. But then I realized they actually made a deranged kind of sense . . .  
Yeah, I'm gonna give the poor guy a rough time of it. :/**

 **Monranr: I see what you did there . . . ;)**

 **Zaptrap: Oh, well in that case! *hands you a smol Jay* Pet away. :) Thanks for the review!**

 **Guest: Thanks for the review! Ohh, it's life-threatening all right. That kiddo's internal organs are forfeit.  
A little dodgy, huh? Well, you could be right!  
You know the feeling of having aliens trying to keep you away from your friend? Woah. That must've been quite the story. ;P**

* * *

 **Sept 20**

 **5:30 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Jay (yeahhhhh, no) and Cole**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay out of commission**

* * *

As morning drew on, Nya was still fumbling with the components of one of the rocket boosters, struggling to fasten it together in a fashion that wouldn't explode upon ignition. The bulb in her headlamp was growing dim as the battery drained. Her head swam with lack of sleep. There was still the whole other rocket booster to fix.

Drawing a deep, shaky breath, she fumbled in her toolbelt for another lug nut and tilted back her head to listen to the silence on the floors overhead. Silence was good. It meant nothing worse had developed. From across the dark, low space of the engine room she could see the shadowy hulk of the generator, mocking her. She knew that the meter on it would still indicate perfectly efficient fuel usage. Here she'd spent days obsessing, taking the generator apart three times, trying to save on gasoline, and because of that the _Bounty_ wasn't fixed and they couldn't get Jay to the hospital. Priorities!

Screw her.

A gray dawn crept through the trees and birds began to sing, making her aware of just how much time had passed. She tried to pick up the pace, pieces slipping between her fingers. The wrench only magnified the trembling in her hands, and she could barely get it to lock over a bolt. It slipped off again and again; metal clattered as she tried over and over to tighten it. Finally the bolt fell off the screw and clinked off into a crevice somewhere.

Biting her lip, she knelt down to feel for the missing bolt in the darkness, unable to coax any more light from her headlamp. Her elbow grazed the rocket booster, which promptly groaned and shed every single piece that had yet to be bolted.

Nya blinked at it for a second. Then she threw the wrench across the engine room and sank back against the generator. There was no way she was going to fix this in time. Her vision blurred as tears of despair stung her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands.

A few minutes later Cole came around the side of the ship.

"What was that crash, is—" His eyes widened in dismay. "Nya, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine," Nya choked. "I'm fiiiiiine."

Cole crouched next to her helplessly, one hand extended to her shoulder. Instinctively he wanted to do something for her, comfort her somehow, but he hesitated at the thought of what Jay might think. Laid up as he was, it somehow felt like going behind his back. But she looked like such a wreck . . .

"Nya, come on . . . "

Chewing his lip miserably, Cole looked around for some kind of enlightenment. A voice sounded from above.

"Is everything okay down there?"

"Kai!" called Cole, relieved. Kai dropped over the _Bounty'_ s railing and stopped in shock when he saw Nya still in tears, doggedly scrubbing them away as fast as they came.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," said Cole, a little thrown by the suspicious look Kai cast him. "I found her like this, she won't tell me what's wrong."

Kai hesitated for only the barest of seconds before stepping over, plopping down next to Nya with a sigh, and drawing her unabashedly into his arms.

"Hey, come on, sis," he murmured soothingly. "What gives, hm? What's wrong?"

Cole looked away and shifted from foot to foot, wondering if he should give them some privacy. It was awkward seeing Kai in gentle mode, but at the same time he wasn't all that surprised. Desperate circumstances unlocked weird parts of the fire ninja.

"He's going to die." Nya finally found her voice. "Jay's going to die, and it's my fault."

"It's not your fault. Why would you even say that?"

"I can't fix the ship," sobbed Nya. "I can't do it. I should've fixed it right away, but—but I didn't—I kept stalling—and doing stupid stuff—there's _weeks_ of repairs left on this thing, and—and—and now it's too late! His fever is too high, and we're stuck here, and he's gonna die . . . " She buried her face in the front of Kai's shirt with a wail.

Cole hung his head, his heart heavy. Meanwhile Kai stroked the back of his sister's hair, a distant look in his eyes, his jaw tight with thought. At last he looked up at Cole. Standing up, he shifted Nya gently into the earth ninja's arms. Then he started to climb up the side of the _Bounty_.

"Where are you going?" asked Cole, bewildered.

"I'm going to get him to the hospital."

"But—"

Kai disappeared over the railing.

"He'll never make it," whispered Nya, pulling away from Cole and steadying herself on her feet. "We've gotta stop him—"

They scaled quickly up the side of the _Bounty_ and hurried inside. Kai was in the kitchen putting on rubber gloves.

"Kai, gloves aren't enough to—" began Cole, but the fire ninja waved him off.

"No. Don't worry, I'll stay low to the ground." Kai stalked past the other two and down the hall. Exchanging a despairing glance, they followed.

When they caught up, Kai was crouched by Jay's bedside, studying him keenly.

"Nya?" he glanced over his shoulder, a question in his voice. Nya darted forward, then choked. Jay was still fast asleep, but his breath was deep and even. Electricity no longer sparkled from his body, and his forehead was no longer searingly hot. The fever had broken. The aliens were still draped atop him; Mopp opened one sleepy eye and squeaked peacefully, as if to say "g'wan, it's all good, nothing to see here."

Nya, by now thoroughly overwhelmed, started to cry again. Kai shook his head, smiling shakily himself, and wrapped his arms around her. The others gathered in the doorway one by one, coming to see what was happening. Nobody said anything, but they gathered plenty enough from Cole's smile.

* * *

By that afternoon Jay had both feet firmly in the land of the living again. He first woke up while Kai was keeping watch, and then only partially.

"What day is it?" he croaked.

"Twentieth, pal. You okay?"

"Mmmm." Jay smacked his lips drowsily. "So thirsty I can't even . . . "

"Yeah, you're dehydrated. Better not get up just yet." Kai crouched next to him and held out a cup with a straw. "Don't give me that look. No judgie, I promise."

Sighing, Jay laid a clumsy hand over the straw and took eager gulps of the salty-sweet liquid. He could barely keep his eyes open.

"Thanks," he mumbled at last, settling his head back into the pillow. "Man I'm out of it . . . " He gave Kai a drowsy smile. "No mints, huh?"

"You remember that?" Kai laughed and fished in his pocket. "I've got them right here, actually."

"Really?" Jay dragged his eyes open and blinked woozily at his hand as Kai again pressed the roll of mints into his palm. Eventually he smiled and closed his fingers around the roll, tucking it under his chest.

"You're the greatest . . . "

"And don't I know it." Kai laughed softly and slipped off to tell the others that Jay had been awake.

* * *

"So what did I have?" asked Jay that evening. He was fully awake by now, and Sensei Wu had made him some tea.

"No idea," said Lloyd. "Nya sent some samples off to legit _labs_ and everything, and there was nothing. Like, literally nothing. Not even more white blood cells. _You weren't sick_."

"That felt like an awful lot to all be in my head," said Jay ruefully.

"No kidding," said Lloyd. "The doctor we called said that it must have something to do with your elemental powers."

"Well, that'd explain all the random lightning. And my powers kept shutting off just beforehand, so . . . yeah."

"Yeah. But since there aren't whole tons of elemental masters out there, nobody knows what to do for elemental sickness." Lloyd smiled wanly. "Good thing you pulled through it on your own."

"What if someone else gets it?" asked Jay. Lloyd and Wu looked at each other.

"I guess for now we'll just have to hope nobody does," said Lloyd heavily. "I hope it doesn't hit _you_ again either. I mean . . . that was really weird. We don't know where it came from and we don't know where it went. Right now the mine tunnels are our best bet, but even that's only because it started while you were down there."

"Well . . . hey, at least it's gone." Jay flicked sparks from his fingertips demonstratively. "See? My powers are fine. I _feel_ fine. A little tired, but . . . fine."

"Still, we must be on the alert from now on," said Wu. "The next time you begin to feel ill, Jay, please keep us better-informed about your condition. We do not want to hear the first news twenty-four hours after it begins."

There was barely any reproach in the Sensei's tone, certainly no judgment, but Jay felt his cheeks grow hot.

"I know, Sensei. I will. Sorry."

"As long as you are all right now," said Wu, and left the room.

Still blushing a little, Jay finished the last of his tea.

"How long was I out for again?" he said, regarding the cup quizically. Lloyd tilted his head, calculating.

"Well, if we start counting from the time you went to bed, about thirty-six hours. And another twelve after your fever broke."

"Huh." Jay rubbed his head. "I went that long without going to the bathroom?"

Lloyd laughed in spite of himself.

"You were dehydrated. You'd probably be retaining water."

"I guess," mumbled Jay. He cast Lloyd an uneasy look. "Are you sure I didn't . . . ?"

"Not that I know of," assured Lloyd. Jay sighed and shifted on the cot.

"I still feel pretty gross, though. I'm taking a shower."

"Hey, I don't know if you should get up—"

"Doing it." Jay swung his legs over the edge of the cot and stood. He was alarmed at how wobbly his knees felt, but they held. After a few seconds he got the hang of it and took a few steps, stretching his arms way over his head. It felt really good to be alive.

"At least make it quick," said Lloyd, glancing uneasily towards the hall. "I know at least three people who would kill me if they knew I let you get up."

* * *

Later that evening Nya slipped into the spare room to find Jay once again perched in his cot, fresh and fluffy after his shower. He'd changed the sheets on his cot too—although between that and showering he was chagrined at how drained he felt. Nya studied him in concern.

"You're not getting enough rest."

"Aww, I'm fine." Jay gave her a smile, shifting the blankets so she could sit down on the edge of the cot. "Heh—caught me with candy in my mouth, s-sorry. I'd offer you one, but, uh, I've been holding them in my hand for a long time, they're kinda messed-up—"

"It's fine. Hey, since when are manners a thing on this ship?" Chuckling, she took the invitation. Jay hastily crunched and swallowed the mint and gave her a hopeful look.

"So, the flash drive? Can we look at it now? It must be dry by now, right?"

"Well, to be honest, I've already started decrypting it," said Nya, smiling sheepishly. "As soon as you were better. I figured it would take a while to crack the encryption anyway, and if I found anything I could tell you about it."

"And did you?" asked Jay.

"Nope, still working on it. I'll let you know as soon as I find something, promise. Besides, that encryption is really _something_. When I manage to break it, you'll probably hear me screaming all over the ship."

Jay chuckled softly, feeling that familiar warm prickly sensation in his chest that Nya often inspired. He shifted a little closer, half-consciously.

"In other news," said Nya. "We're gonna get smartphones."

"Whaaaaaaat?!" Jay nearly jumped to his feet.

"I thought you'd react like that." Nya laughed. "Since the Technicians stole the communicators out of your backpacks, we need to replace them with _something_. I finally convinced Sensei and Cole that if we're gonna be getting new devices anyway, and if we're dealing with a technological threat, we need technology of our own."

"No wayyyyy," said Jay giddily. "I can't believe it! Can we afford them?"

"Well, your usual communicators actually aren't that much cheaper than a smartphone," said Nya. "Those are heavy-duty machines. So it shouldn't be too hard to convince the NDD to toss in a few extra ken for a good cause."

Jay nodded hopefully. The NDD, or Ninjago Department of Defense, received more letters from Wu's ninja team than Santa Claus received from the entire population of Ninjago. The ninja's salaries came from there, and they also had to make grant proposals for extra funding whenever they needed new technology or vehicles. Nya was an absolute master at drafting proposals by now, so she wrote most of them—although that did mean that she tended to get crabby when the ninja inevitably needed replacements for something they blew up.

"When're you gonna send the proposal?" he asked.

"Already did." Nya grinned. "But even if they say yes, we're gonna have to wait a bit. Sensei Wu says we can't have smartphones or any other nice things until I fix this darn ship."

"What?" Jay laughed. "Wow. What brought that on?"

"Ahh, we kinda had a scare." Nya tousled back her hair, looking away. "You know. What with you being sick, and us not able to take you to the hospital because the ship was down, and . . . yeah."

"Ohhh." Jay grew sober. "Well . . . gosh. Sorry I scared you."

"It's not your fault, it's mine," said Nya. "I really should have fixed the ship by now, it was irresponsible not to. I . . . it scares me just to think what could've happened. You could've died."

"Well . . . I didn't," said Jay, praying he could find the right words to ease her mind. "It all turned out okay, see? I can help you fix the _Bounty_ now, we'll get it done in no time."

Nya sighed, swinging her heels, her eyes fixed at some point across the room. Eventually, though, she gave a small smile and turned to Jay.  
"I'm really glad you're okay," she said softly, reaching out to place her hand over his. "For a moment we really didn't think you'd make it. _I_ didn't think you'd make it."

"Ahhh, you know how it is," said Jay, looking away with an awkward chuckle. "Nothing annoying is that easy to get rid of."

"Jay, I'm serious." Her voice was still gentle, and her hand was steady and warm atop his. Jay felt heat creeping up his neck and across his face as he considered the situation. He was running out of other places to look; staring down one shoulder was starting to get much too awkward. Slowly he dared to look up into her eyes.

"Come on. All this time, and you're still shy?" she said with an ironic smile.

Jay blinked slowly, his heart roaring like an engine in neutral. Forgetting his hesitation, he searched her face, trying to read her eyes. The matter was barreling towards the point of no return. For a while they had been such good friends; all that time they had spent tinkering together, puzzling and arguing and piecing together the complicated technology they both loved. For a while he'd thought that had replaced anything romantic he'd ever felt for her.

But whatever this was now . . . this was different than anything before. This ran much deeper.

"You remember what I promised you?" he said slowly. "When I was still sick?"

"The moment you're better . . . " Nya smiled, her eyelids lowering slightly. "So now you want to make good on that?"

"I-If you want," said Jay.

"Sure." It was so soft as to be almost breathy. Jay slid to sit on the edge of the cot, and Nya shifted to sit next to him, watching him. Waiting. Never before had he been the one to initiate any signs of affection . . . it had always been her, unexpectedly kissing _him_. And always on the cheek.

Almost without thinking, he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. This wasn't the kind of thing you could say in words; his glance flickered down to her lips, then back up to her eyes, questioning. She gave a light nod, a smile. Her head was subconsciously angling already, anticipating.

Hesitantly Jay leaned in. Their lips met, fumbled, locked for only a second; false start. They pulled apart again, both took a breath, then slipped together in earnest this time. Nya's eyes shivered closed in unison with Jay's, her body shuddering against his; he pressed his hands to her shoulders, pulling her closer against his chest, then slowly trailed his palms down her back, feeling each nuance of ribs and skin through her shirt. Her back arched at his touch, and she drew a fluttery breath through her nose, slumping her full weight against him. Jay sank backwards onto the bed, pulling her down to lie atop him, still angling and nuzzling into the kiss. This was . . . almost too much . . . heaven . . .

Finally they broke apart, inhaling together. Nya's eyes slid open to gaze into Jay's for a moment; then they slid closed again as she rested her forehead gently on his. Jay drank in her heartbeat, one hand drifting up to fondle her hair. Just a little longer . . .

"This would be a bad time for someone to walk in on us," he whispered breathlessly.

"It's okay." Nya nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. "I locked the door . . . "

* * *

 **A/N: Hooooo~**

 **Keep your minds out of the gutter, gutter-minded people, their clothes are staying _on._ (See Skylark, told you I'd find use for that phrase!) They just like to have their peace of mind while they're snuggling.**

 **I think that's the first time I've written any kind of intense kiss scene, actually. Huh. About time, I guess.**


	59. It's a Bird It's a Plane It's the Bounty

**Angel Star Ninja: That is indeed the law for main characters. Hmmm . . . so ya think Jay might die at the end of this story?**

 **TheAmberShadow: Well if ya do, let me know what you conclude! Yep; somewhere in his delusional fever state, he realized that since he was really, really sick now, he must be about to get better soon. And if he was getting better, that meant he would get to kiss Nya. And if he was going to kiss Nya, he didn't want to do it with his mouth all grungy after throwing up and being dehydrated. Thus mints.  
Fever logic. You can't argue with it. :P  
Solid point! You bet there are going to be limits on the smartphone use. Nya and Sensei will see to it.  
Hmmm . . . well, I have a minor disaster two chapters from here, but there won't be any really horrible stuff for a while longer. Sorry to disappoint. :P**

 **Zaptrap: Heh, well then! Aw, thanks, that's very sweet.**

 **Guest: Well, maybe they did. If nothing else, they were certainly good moral support . . .  
Woah, thanks! That's like the best compliment you coulda given me. I felt the same way about Jaya in the show, so I was hoping to overhaul it into something with a little more substance. Those saps are gonna have to get serious eventually. ^_^''**

 **Monranr: Haha . . . You're, uh, welcome? :)**

* * *

 **Sept 21**

 **7:33 AM**

 **Patrol circuit: Zane and Lloyd**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame, Jay recovering**

* * *

By the next morning Jay had very little taste for staying in bed any longer. He even got up early; he'd had enough sleep to last him ages, thank you very much. He wandered in to find Lloyd already snarfing oatmeal, and Kai pouring himself a bowl of cornflakes. Zane was solemnly regarding his cartoon of Wu, which someone had taped to the fridge door.

"Woah, hey, you're up?" Kai said, seeing Jay.

"Yep. Believe me, I have had _enough_ of lying in bed. I don't think I'll ever complain about sunrise exercise again."

Kai gave him a smile and stirred the dry cereal in his bowl, silent. He was visibly searching for words.

"Good to have you back," he offered at last, getting up to fetch some milk.

"Thanks. Good to _be_ back."

"I bet," said Kai. "You were pretty close to the edge for a while there." He fiddled with the top of the milk carton. "You know, I . . . I was kinda scared you were going to snuff it, and we'd had that fight the night before and everything, and I never got the chance to . . . " He took a deep breath, ducking his head. "Well, yeah. So, just for the record, sorry if I was too rough with you about those aliens or anything."

Jay looked away too, equally awkward.

"Ah, it's nothing. I said a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have myself. No hard feelings."

"Heh. Thanks." Kai gave a relieved smile and grabbed the milk again, apparently glad it was over with.

"Uhh—Kai?—"

"Don't you dare say anything mushy," warned Kai jokingly, "or I"ll—yagh!"

The minute he unscrewed the cap on the milk carton, a burst of thick silvery liquid spurted out, gushing from a water balloon hidden inside. Kai froze, dripping, then swiped sparkling slime from his eyes and fixed Lloyd and Jay with a " _really?_ " look.

"If it's any consolation," said Lloyd in a small voice, "we feel kinda lousy about that now."

"Yeah," said Jay guiltily. "Sorry."

"Well." Kai stood up, still scraping what was evidently glitter glue from his face and hair. "Sooooo. You got me. _Happy?_ "

Silence from the two pranksters. Some fidgeting and downcast eyes. They hadn't meant to catch Kai when he was vulnerable; after weeks of trying, their final victory suddenly seemed awfully hollow.

Kai glared for a moment longer. Finally, though, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay, _okay,_ fine. So I more than deserved that." Smiling ruefully, he spread his hands in concession. "Not bad. Are we even?"

Lloyd and Jay exchanged a quick glance and a smile.

"Even!" they chorused, getting up to sandwich the fire ninja in a sticky hug.

"Geez, you saps," he scoffed, but chuckled and wrapped an arm around either of them. "You get points for dedication, that's for sure."

"Phew," said Lloyd, sitting back and pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I'm glad that's over with."

"Yeah, remind me not to get into prank wars with you again," said Jay ruefully. "I don't know how you even dodged us that long."

"What can I say, I'm the greatest," said Kai, then ducked. "Yeesh! And, well, I had a little help."

"What?!"

"Yeah. A few times I got lucky and saw you guys setting up the pranks. The other times, someone else tipped me off. Mostly Zane, a few times Nya—heck, even Cole warned me about the shampoo one."

"You mean all this time we've been up against the entire _ship?_ " said Jay indignantly.

"Sorta." Kai gave him a sheepish grin. "Can you leave the others out of this, though? Most of them were kinda helping me under the promise they wouldn't suffer for it."

"Egh, we couldn't prank Zane anyway," sighed Jay. "And seriously, I am _done_."

"Yeah, I'm just glad this is over," said Lloyd. He wiped one hand on his shirt and tried to rub glitter from one eye. "I'm ready to take a shower and forget any of this ever happened."

"You think a shower's gonna help?" Kai gave a rueful laugh. "I'm guessing you don't have much experience with glitter."

* * *

Nya refused to let Jay do any heavy repair work, but Jay also refused to be left out of the repair process. He knew Nya's work on the microdrive decryption would be minimal until the _Bounty_ was flying again. Once it got dark, though, Nya headed for the control room.

" _Bounty_ first," she told Jay. "Microdrive second. Smartphones third. Our spaceship project . . . well, sorry, but that's on the back burner for now."

"That's okay," said Jay. "We've got a Ninjago to look after."

"The smartphones should be fun, though," said Nya, setting up her decryption software. "We can make it an outing. Dr. Borg wanted to talk more about the aliens and the spaceship, and Mindy wanted to see more photos of _our_ spaceship, so I thought we could drop into Borg Industries. Then we'll go for the smartphones and, I don't know, stop for lunch somewhere?" She turned from the computer screen for a moment and chuckled when she saw Jay's expression. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Definitely a yes." Jay hesitated for a second, then leaned over to kiss Nya's temple quickly. He was a little clumsy and tense, still learning his way through this kind of thing, but overall he was relieved at how well he pulled it off. Nya gave him a knowing smile and craned her neck a little to give a return peck on the cheek.

Eeeep.

He could get used to this.

They only had fifteen minutes or so of companionable silence before Kai poked his head in.

"Woah, I thought you guys were fixing the ship."

"It's dark. All the batteries in the headlamps are still dead, and I don't feel like setting up floodlights or asking someone to stand there with a flashlight." Nya's eyes flicked between her keyboard and the large control room screen. "Besides, this is important too."

Kai dragged in the beanbag chair and stayed. The others came wandering in by ones and twos, curious about the decryption process and looking for some conversation. Jay was just the teeniest bit disappointed that he didn't get more alone time with Nya, but he figured there would be other days. The others' company was nice too, especially now that he was feeling better and could properly enjoy it.

"So, how much longer till we can get off the ground again?" asked Cole, trying to convince Mopp to play with a piece of string. The alien seemed offended at being taken for a cat.

"Not long," said Nya. "We should be air-worthy by tomorrow evening."

"Tomorrow evening?" Kai raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, if nothing really weird happens. Is that a problem?"

"No, just . . . " Kai shrugged. "You, uh, said there were weeks of work left on it."

"Oh." Nya looked away. Eventually she snuck a glance back at Kai, and found him still looking at her quizzically. She huffed. "Well, so I might have exaggerated a _little_ bit. It . . . seemed like more. At the time."

She gave Kai a ferocious look, as if daring him to make a smart comment. Kai only shook his head and reached over to give her a hug. She leaned into it gratefully so briefly that only Jay noticed, then went back to keeping up appearances by squirming to get loose.

"Kaiiii, I don't wanna sparkle for three weeks," she laughed.

"Everything will sparkle," said Kai. "I mean, everything. You think _I'm_ a glitter hazard?"

From across the room Lloyd obligingly shook his head hard. A burst of sparkles flew from his hair, and Meep and Mopp twittered in amazement and batted at the dancing flecks of light.

"Good grief Lloyd, wash your hair," laughed Cole.

"I _did._ Twice! It just keeps coming!" Lloyd groaned despairingly. "I'll probably be forty and _still_ brushing out glitter."

"If you still haven't cut your hair by the time you're forty, Lloyd, you're gonna have bigger things to worry about," said Jay. "Colonies of tree shrews, for instance."

"It's _my_ hair, I can raise tree shrews in it if I want." Lloyd dodged as Kai waved a pair of wire cutters threateningly in his general direction. "I'm gonna run an endangered species sanctuary."

As the others laughed, Nya reached over to ruffle Lloyd's hair affectionately, her eyes still on the computer screen.

"So much hair," she murmured. "You're gonna have to start wearing a ponytail."

"Ha, ha, ha." Lloyd pushed her hand away gently.

"No, I'm serious. It was traditional for male samurai to wear their hair in a small bun."

"Well hey, no offense and all, but I'm a ninja, not a—"

"Besides, if Kai could pull it off, I'm sure you can."

"Whaaaaaat?!"

"Ohhh, thanks a lot, sis." Kai gave his sister a reproachful grin.

"You wore a _ponytail?!_ " sputtered Jay.

"I was a blacksmith, sheesh. My dad made me; long hair tied back is less likely to catch fire than short hair." Kai rolled his eyes at the others, smiling. "Sure, have your fun. You're just jealous 'cos _you_ couldn't make it look good."

"He did look pretty good," admitted Nya.

"Oh my gosh," groaned Cole. "I can't picture that."

"I can." Lloyd covered his eyes as if that would block the mental image. "I'll never be able to look you in the eye again . . . "

"That's not my fault kid, that's your bangs growing out."

Nya sighed and raised her eyes heavenwards as a playful scuffle broke out behind her. Her fingers were still flying over the keyboard, probing for the right algorithms to crack open the Technicians' files.

"Keep it down you guys, it's getting late. Sensei's probably in bed already. If you wake him up, he'll probably send us all to—"

Suddenly something in the computer started to beep. Nya jumped to her feet, her chair flying back.

"I've got it! It's cracked! I've got it!"

"Oh man!" Everyone scrambled up from the floor and swarmed around Nya. She had barely opened the first decrypted folder before Wu appeared in the doorway, his hat askew and his eyes bleary.

"Why are you all still awake?"

"Sorry Sensei." Cole glanced back apologetically. "Nya's cracked the encryption on the Technicians' drive! We can read their files now!"

"Very good, Nya," said the Sensei. "Now I think there is someplace you should all be right now."

A chorus of groans.

"The files will still be there tomorrow," said Wu, and disappeared from the doorway. He didn't exactly _order_ them to bed, since they were all getting a little old for that, but Wu's strong suggestion was as good as a command. They all exchanged hesitant looks.

"I bet he'll drag us up for sunrise exercise tomorrow," said Kai glumly.

"Who cares? I wanna read this!" said Jay.

"Well, I'm going to bed. You guys can tell me what you find tomorrow," said Cole. "I don't feel like stumbling around half-asleep all day. Jay, Kai, you guys have patrols and you're both recovering. You should go to bed too."

"Awww, Sensei's pet," groaned Kai.

"Don't leave us!" called Lloyd as Cole headed for the door. "Literally."

"Good night."

The others grumbled and buckled down. Their enthusiasm soon waned, however, when they found that this folder was full of shipping receipts. The first few reports of "delivered 20 refurbished smartphones to the BB Gray in New Ninjago City" and "delivered 5 laptops to Johnson's Electronics" were exciting news. Everyone carried on about how many devices the Technicians were trafficking and how they knew that store. About thirty receipts in, though, they were all undeniably bored.

"Ahh . . . Maybe Cole had the right idea," said Kai, stifling a yawn. "I dunno. Can we skip to something interesting?"

"We shouldn't skip," said Nya, although she looked drowsy too. "There might be useful information buried somewhere in here."

Zane cleared his throat.

"I can read very quickly," he offered. "And my memory is much better-suited to numerical information. I could probably go through all these receipts in an hour or less, then give you the aggregate data tomorrow morning."

"That would be awesome, Zane."

With much relief, the others bade Zane good luck and headed off to bed. Lloyd had already passed out in the beanbag chair, Meep in his lap. Kai hauled him to his feet and began to sleepwalk him towards the door.

"G'wan. No, don't wake up, just stagger thisaway."

Lloyd started to walk where Kai steered him, but abruptly started violently and woke up all the way.

"Was I asleep?!"

"Yeah, yeah. Easy," said Kai. Jay caught the fire ninja nodding sharply in _his_ direction, as if there was some kind of secret Lloyd shouldn't blab out in front of Jay. What was all that about?

He only thought about it in passing, though. He was trying to coax Meep to come with him. The alien seemed more interested in staying with Zane, who was already scrolling through the shipping receipts so fast the text blurred.

"Aw, c'mon, buddy. Did you guys get that tired of hanging out with me while I was sick?"

Meep gave an indistinct series of grumbles, nestling more comfortably in Zane's hair. Jay sighed, feeling a little abandoned, but decided to make like a cat owner and move on.

* * *

Jay had gone back to sleeping in the bunkroom with the others now, which meant he got to witness interesting morning spectacles like Cole waking up from a nightmare and trying to strangle Kai.

"Geez, Cole!" yelped the fire ninja. He'd evidently done better at learning how to escape a chokehold, because he managed to lever Cole's hands back enough to avoid danger. Cole blinked woozily, then awoke with a start and drew back.

"Oh gosh, sorry," he groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"It's fine," said Kai. "I mean, unless you knew it was me and still decided to attack. I might have a problem with that."

"Naw, I was having this dream about Nindroids," yawned Cole. "It was lousy."

"Say, speaking of; where's Zane?"

They found their own Nindroid asleep in front of the computer, slumped over the control panel and using Meep as a pillow. After assuring the others that he didn't get stiff joints and had simply felt too comfortable to get up and go to bed last night, the Nindroid offered to give them the data rundown.

"They have delivered three thousand eight hundred twenty refurbished smartphones to various electronics stores all across Ninjago," he said. "Also two hundred ninety laptops, three hundred sixty-five tablets, and an assortment of other internet-enabled devices such as PDAs, televisions, and video game consoles. They are all labeled with alphabetical batch designations—the receipts I read ranged in order from Batch M to Batch Q—but I don't know what differentiates one batch from another."

"But they're only reselling stuff that uses the internet, huh?" Nya stirred her cereal grimly. "This can't be good. They're definitely aiming for some kind of internet attack."

"But how? It's not like they can attack with a virus," said Jay. "If the phones are refurbished, that probably means they just have that tiny useless lump of code in them. Right?"

"Maybe." Nya shook her head. "Maybe that little string of code I found was just a practice version or a remnant or something. When we get our own smartphones, I'll have to check if any of them have extra code too. Maybe that could lead us somewhere."

Sensei Wu cleared his throat softly.

"I know Sensei, the _Bounty_ first," said Nya. "Don't worry, Jay and I will have it flying by tonight. We should still have time to read more of the Technician files in the evening."

* * *

Jay was supposed to be doing the city patrol, but Cole took over for him so he could work on the _Bounty_. With any luck this would be the last time they had to patrol on their dragons anyway. Jay and Nya worked diligently on the repairs all day, trying to balance their eagerness to get back to the Technician files with the need to make safety checks on the rocket boosters.

By late afternoon Nya pronounced their work finished. When Cole got back from his patrol (looking relieved; ever since Lloyd's incident all their city patrols had been completed safely), they began preparing for takeoff.

"Fasten down anything fragile!" Nya called over the ship's intercom system. "Stand by to support if anything goes wrong. Zane, we need you in the back for fire prevention, those rocket boosters aren't friendly with trees."

For the first time in weeks the giant ship's engines began to thrum. Most of the occupants gathered on the deck or in the control room, eagerly awaiting takeoff. Jay kept a tight watch on Meep and Mopp, who had picked up on the excited atmosphere and were experiencing the alien equivalent of a sugar high.

"Booster right, test!"

A familiar muffled roar and slight vibration. The ship's woodwork groaned slightly.

"Booster left, test!"

Now a roar and tremble on the other side.

"Lift test!"

A slightly more powerful rev. The floor trembled. Abruptly Nya frowned and dialed back on the boosters.

"Okay, we're not getting as much lift as we should. Can anyone check if there are some branches or something holding us down? I don't want to damage anything by trying to break us free."

They circled the ship, checking. A few trees that the ship had felled when it first crashed were leaning against the hull a little; Cole pushed them away. Jay and Zane cleared away vines that had started to grow over some parts of the woodwork and railings.

"Are we set?" called Nya.

"No wait, there's owls!" called Lloyd from the stern deck.

"Say what?"

"They have a nest in this tree. We have to move them, they might get hurt when we take off!"

"You are kidding me."

"We are not leaving these baby owls to get barbecued by our rocket boosters!"

Rolling his eyes wearily, Kai limped over to give Lloyd a hand. As the others finished clearing away the last of the plant life around the lower hull, various demonic screeches could be heard from overhead.

"These owls hate you, Lloyd." Kai's voice drifted down.

"That's good! They're supposed to stay away from people."

"Geeeez. You wouldn't go to this much trouble if it was a nest of _rats_ , I bet."

Some more demonic screeching. Some flapping noises and a few protests of "ow, watch the beak!"

"I think the owls are winning," said Jay.

Finally Lloyd declared the owls properly translocated, and Nya went back to testing the ship's lift. Kai stomped into the control room and flopped down on the beanbag, scratched in multiple places.

"Owls fight that hard?" said Cole.

"Don't even start," gritted Kai. "So help me! If I _ever_ again hear someone saying, 'oh, animals just know when you're trying to help them,' I will stuff an owl down their pants." He feigned a glare in Lloyd's direction. "What're _you_ laughing at."

Suddenly the rumble of the rocket boosters intensified. The floor lurched beneath their feet. Then came a familiar swinging sensation, like the start of an elevator.

"Annnnd we have liftoff!" crowed Nya, as the leaves and branches slipped out of sight and the windows filled with sunset sky. The others cheered, heading on-deck to watch the ground pulling away.

"Man, it's nice to be in the air again," said Jay, leaning against the railing. The ship began to turn smooth banking circles over the treetops as Nya tested the controls. A breeze ruffled across the deck, and the slight rolling sensation beneath their feet was both familiar and oddly new. It would be a while before they properly got their "sea legs" back. Or air legs, as it were.

"Hey Jay." Nya poked her head out onto the deck. "The controls are fine, I've got everything set on autopilot. Files?"

"You bet!" Jay turned from the railing and followed Nya inside. Pulling up a second chair, he settled next to Nya and watched eagerly as she opened the next Technician folder. Mopp was already dozing in Jay's hood, and Meep came boinging in to settle on Nya's lap. She stroked the alien absent-mindedly.

"Can't believe we're finally airborne again," she remarked. "Thanks for your help."

"No problem. Now we can relax, huh?" smiled Jay.

"Sure." Nya laughed. "Just kick back and browse the files of a massive criminal organization."

"So chill!"

"All we need is popcorn."

They both chuckled. A bit of silence.

"You know, we should actually have popcorn."

So they microwaved themselves a bowl of popcorn and munched it while reading the files. Jay sometimes wondered if Ninjago knew how its defenders operated. It probably didn't, and that was probably good.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Gahhhhhh. Fluff. Fluff everywhere! *attempts to herd fluff out the door with a broom.* How am I supposed to get this bally plot moving if there's constantly fluff . . .**

 **Seriously though, I'm glad to get the prank war wrapped up. One less subplot to juggle. And the Technician plot lurches forward slightly, and will hopefully continue to lurch in the future. If I can just stop cramming in random plot bunnies/jokes I couldn't let go of.**

 **Ahhh, the stupid headcanons I have about Kai and Nya's past, though . . . I'll be sad to see those smashed when "Hands of Time" comes out.**


	60. Me Gusta

**New entry, also referred to as "How Many Freaking Callbacks Can One Chapter Hold?" I think there's like ten references to previous chapters . . . Which may or may not be caused by there being too dang many previous chapters. :P**

 **Sixty, tho! Thanks so much to all you guys for sticking with me. :3**

 **So, there's a good bit of technical** **babble for the first half of this one. But this is Technician stuff! So if you're here for the plot at all, I guess you'll want to read it. I tried to spice it up as much as possible. ^_^''**

 **And hopefully some nice fluff too?**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Aw, well thank you! That's very kind of you to say. ^_^''**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Zaptrap: Ahh, but what if I added** ** _dramatic fluff?_** **Like . . . psycho killer kittens! :P  
Seriously though, don't underestimate my ability to keep this plot from moving forward. I'm regrettably expert at it. XD  
**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheAmberShadow: Haha, you have a point. Glitter is evil stuff. Pretty, but evil.**

 **Yay! Me too. XD Although I always imagined it as the fluffy polyester stuff they use in stuffed animals. So roughly the same, actually. Just not edible. :P**

 **Third option? What's that?**

 **OOOOOH! Yay, I get to tell them!**

 **Okay, so until Hands of Time proves otherwise, I headcanon that Kai and Nya lost their parents around age 13 for Kai, 11 for Nya. Kai was supposed to inherit the house and blacksmith shop, but he and Nya were too young to legally live alone. So for a while they lived with an uncle from their father's side, who was an angry drunk. (Ninjago's child protection laws are not the greatest.)**

 **Kai hated every moment he spent at their uncle's, and soon he managed to wrangle out an alternative plan: the uncle provided extra financial support, but Kai and Nya lived at their parents' house and Kai practiced his smithing every day, trying to earn enough to live independently. That's where they were when Wu found them a few years later (when Kai was 15).**

 **Kai was very disappointed in Nya when she was born; he'd wanted a little brother. (I haven't even _seen_ Season 7 yet, and I'm already pretty sure that one's been disproven.) He kept insisting he didn't like his little sister till she was about six, at which point he realized he was actually kind of crazy about her and forgot about the whole little brother thing. It took him a stupidly long time to figure out that holy cow, tiny Lloyd equals younger brother like he'd always wanted. Poor tiny Lloyd could never understand why Kai suddenly started being so much nicer to him (circa the start of Season 2). To this day he still thinks it was just because he'd been revealed as the Chosen One and thus useful to the world.**

 **Also, young Kai had a bit of a tense relationship with his father at times; he thought blacksmithing was boring and didn't handle his failures well, plus he hated the ponytail. His father insisted:** **a ponytail was traditional for a blacksmith, while short, ragged hair was worn during war** **—** **like the Serpentine War. His father wanted very much for his son to live in a time of peace. That sure went well.**

 **Kai kept wearing his hair long even after his parents died. Nya wouldn't let him cut it, knowing their father wouldn't have wanted him to. One day after they left their uncle's, Kai lost his temper and hacked his hair short with a random fishing knife. That's why it's so scruffy and weird now, and also why he has a scar over his eye. Traumatized Nya the heck out, though. Afterwards Kai regretted hurting her like that, especially since they pretty much only had each other by now. He hasn't even spoken to her in anger since.**

 **So, those are them! Hope they weren't too boring. ^_^'' Ah, I used to have plans to write this whole dumb series of oneshots exploring the ninjas' childhoods, but canon has blown up too many of the ideas I had. Mlegh. :P**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Yeah, I saw those were there. Dang that's frustrating. XD**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Monranr: Ooh, a fluff aficionada/o! Heh, you've come to the right place. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sep 23**

 **7:22 AM**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame**

* * *

The next morning found the _Bounty_ moored in midair at the outskirts of New Ninjago City.

"Dangit," said Cole, scrubbing at one eye. "And here we thought the nightmares would go away once we got the ship flying again."

"Face it, this is our life now," groaned Jay, resting his forehead on the table. He and Nya were both barely conscious; they'd stayed up too late last night reading Technician files.

"So, what did you find?" asked Kai.

"Oh, it was awesome." Jay kept his forehead on the table. "Whole folder of emails. I mean, it was mostly technical chitchat emails, but it gave us some really good info on the leaders and their MO and stuff."

"Turns out there's three leaders," said Nya, taking a swig of coffee. "They go by the codenames Silica, CapsLock, and BlueScreen. Silica is a girl, and she seems to be the top boss. She's also the one running all the technology stuff—this entire scheme was probably her idea. Then there's CapsLock; he seems to handle the paperwork-y stuff. All his emails were about finding new locations to store their goods, dealing with the businesses they're allied with, recruiting new members, stuff like that. And then BlueScreen seemed pretty obvious. The other two keep fussing that he's out of control and is trying to kill people."

"Nash." Kai put down his fork, expression grim.

"Yep. Seems like he signed up to handle security and provide manpower—all his usual slobber workers are helping Silica's crew with the electronics thefts and transport. He also seems to be taking the whole security thing a little too . . . seriously. Silica sent him like thirty emails, on thirty _separate_ occasions, dressing him down for being too violent. She keeps telling him he's supposed to _stop_ threats, not slit their throats."

"Yeah, right," snorted Kai. "And piranhas will happily marinate your steak for you."

"But that explains why Nash has been leaving us alive," said Jay. "We're high-profile. Silica would know if Nash did something to us—especially if it ended up on the news—so he's been sneaking around trying to kill us in secret ways. He said something like that while I was fighting him in the secret base: Silica's holding him _back_."

"Well, that's much appreciated," said Cole. ". . . I think."

"Don't get comfortable," said Kai glumly. "We've already seen how hard Nash is trying to get around that. As long as we're a threat to the Technicians, his crew is a threat to us."

"But why did he even join this project?" said Zane. "I thought you said technology was not his style, and he certainly does not seem to like the _modus operandi_."

"There must be a lot of money in it," said Kai, pushing his scrambled eggs around on his plate. "When there was the whole thing with the rabid bat, Nash told me he'd signed up for the Technicians as a temporary side job. So, money or power. Or both. And more than the slobber trade already gives him."

"Sounds about right," said Nya. "Messing with technology is big business. _Everything_ is connected to the internet these days. If you can get the right passwords, hack into the right systems, steal the right information—you could literally become a billionaire overnight."

"That's a lot of options," sighed Cole. "Does that mean you still don't know exactly what they're doing?"

Nya shook her head.

"None of the emails gave any clues about the main point of the project. As to the details—" She pulled out a notebook and flipped it open. "This is all the useful stuff we found: There are about two hundred fifty people working for them, and about a hundred forty of those are Nash's crew. The companies that _buy_ refurbished electronics don't seem to know that they're evil stolen goods; the Technicians have a bunch of fronts as small electronics vendors or certified refurbishers. On the other hand, a bunch of companies are knowingly helping the Technicians by temporarily storing the stolen devices, before they get refurbished. The only specific names we got were Snow Dragon Ice Cream, Carbot's Electronics, MeloTec Communications, and Pollywog Toys."

"A _toy company_ is helping a crime ring?!"

"Better believe it."

"Nothing is sacred," muttered Lloyd.

"So those are companies that we'll want to tip off the authorities about," said Nya. "I heard Snow Dragon's already under a lot of heat, as well as MeloTec—that's the fancy office building you guys snuck into. I have a feeling it'll end badly for those companies. Better stock up on watermelon sherbet while you can, Jay."

"Not you too," groaned Jay. "Can I trust no one?! Really?"

Nya chuckled and looked back to her notebook.

"Okay, so we also heard a _lot_ of talk about Technician bases, where they refurbish the devices, repackage them, box them, and ship them out. They also keep their paperwork and computers there. We didn't find any info on where the other bases might be, but going by the names there are at least _six_."

"Well there's one less now," said Cole. "The police said the base we snuck into got blown up. They couldn't find any clues in the wreckage. Wonder which one that was . . . "

"Either 1, 4, or 5," said Nya. "Those are the only ones connected to the tunnels. Hopefully some of the other folders can tell us where the other bases are. Annnnd lastly—" Nya flipped to the next page, "—we found out what these 'batches' are. Sort of. We're guessing the different batches have different coding stuck into them. There was this one bunch of emails where Silica was freaking out because Batch L accidentally got stuffed with the code from Batch K, and she and CapsLock were scrambling to get back all the phones in that batch before they got shipped and sold."

"Yeah, and meanwhile Blue just kept going, 'you nerds are dumb, Imma go assassinate the CEO of Snow Dragon'," said Jay.

"Yeah, because this was after you guys broke in there and they worried when the investigation started the CEO would squeal on them," agreed Nya.

"And Silica kept sending Blue all-caps emails telling him to leave that poor guy alone."

"And meanwhile she and CapsLock were complaining to each other about what a disaster Blue is, behind his back."

"It was all really entertaining," finished Jay. ". . . In a majorly disturbing kinda way."

"Sooooo, there's a lot of infighting, huh?" said Cole. "That's good news."

"I know, right?" said Kai. "At least we know we're all in the same boat."

"Oh, come on!" Kai got a bunch of reproachful looks.

"We don't fight _that_ much."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Kai held up his hands. "Sorry."

"We have _team spirit._ " Jay folded his arms and gave Kai a stern look. "Even if we did fight as much as they do, at least we don't hate each other's guts in between."

"Speak for yourself," mumbled Cole behind his hand, then leaned away as Jay threatened to pour milk on his head.

"I don't hate anyone," said Zane, looking genuinely concerned.

"And nobody hates you Zane, relax," said Kai, whapping the Nindroid's arm lightly.

"But then . . . " Zane looked around, one eyebrow raised.

"Guyyyys, don't give me any more awkward things I have to explain to him," sighed Lloyd.

"Hey, you signed up for this job," said Kai. "Regretting it yet?"

"Not _yet_ ," said Lloyd doggedly.

* * *

Nya checked emails after breakfast. She soon came skidding out of the control room, ecstatic.

"We're approved! The NDD gave us the funds! Not _much,_ of course, but at least some."

"Aww right!" Jay cheered. "When can we get the phones?"

"Right the heck now!" Nya plowed off down the hall. "Get dressed! We need to drop by Borg Industries. I'll take some more pictures of our spaceship to show Mindy."

Jay put on a nice business casual outfit, a blazer and some slacks. Nya was still changing, so he stepped outside to wait. Kai was leaning on the ship's railing, looking out at the gleaming spread of the city.

"Hey," said Jay, stepping up next to him.

"Hey," said Kai moodily. Jay raised an eyebrow.

"What's with the sour face? We're about to get SMARTPHONES."

"So?" Kai gave him a dry smile. "They're just some extra-beepy communicators that light up."

"Are you kidding?" Jay huffed. "Smartphones are gonna be awesome! Just think, we can hack them and change each other's ringtones to annoying songs and stuff!"

"Wowwww, priorities," said Kai, and chuckled when Jay pulled a face.

After a moment of silence, both of them looking out across the shimmering stacks of metal and glass, Jay nudged his shoulder against Kai's.

"Ya know, since we're parked here by the city anyway . . . " He poked a finger subtly in the direction of Chen's Noodle House.

"Nah." Kai shrugged.

"What _now?_ " asked Jay, rolling his eyes.

"I was thinking about what you said back there in the mines," said Kai, "about you guys being in danger no matter what. And now that I think about it— _Skylor_ wouldn't be in danger if she didn't hang out with me."

"Uhh . . . " Jay blinked. "So what are you gonna do?"

"Keep my distance till all this is over, I guess. Although with Nash, well . . . it's never over." Kai grimaced.

"Does _she_ know about this plan?"

Kai opened his mouth to reply, but he was preempted by Nya calling "sorry for the wait!" Jay turned around and froze. Nya was standing in the doorway, wearing a dusky red vest over a light blue business shirt, the collar perked neatly over the vest's lapels, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Cor; she was _adorable_. Kai reached over and tapped Jay under the chin, jokingly reminding him to close his mouth.

"Is this serious enough for Borg Industries, you think?" asked Nya, hiding a smile.

"I-I think so," stammered Jay, shaking himself back into reality.

"All righty, I've got the pictures, and Zane's promised to look after the aliens. Let's go!"

"Have fun," said Kai idly as Jay and Nya swung over the ship's railing. "Go easy on him, sis."

"Heyyyy," said Jay. Nya stuck out her tongue at her brother and grabbed hold of the anchor chain, sliding her way down to the ground.

* * *

They stopped by Borg Industries first. They weren't sure if they'd be able to see Borg today, barging in on such short notice, but they asked at the front desk anyway. Borg was busy, but he carved out fifteen minutes for them. Jay felt a little guilty.

Nya had no such qualms. She conversed earnestly with Borg about his recent tour of the aliens' ship.

"I must confess, I haven't had as much time as I'd like to review my notes," admitted the technology mogul. "But what I've seen so far is fascinating. You say the aliens do not speak?"

"They try," said Nya. "But it doesn't seem like they can make the right sounds for it."

"They understand speech, though," Jay hastened to add. "And they talk to each other. It's just human they can't speak."

"Hmmm." Borg studied one of the photographs he'd taken of the wrecked ship's control panel, already beginning to sprout some plant life. "And have they shown any engineering prowess?"

"Well . . . no," said Jay. "They've only ever taken stuff apart, and they, uh—weren't very professional about it."

"And they're smart, but not spaceship-building smart . . . " Nya looked at the photograph with a new interest. ". . . So who built the ship?"

"Well, I do have a theory," said Borg. He unlocked a drawer in his desk and pulled out some paperwork. "I recorded the aliens' measurements when you and Cole brought them, Jay. Based on their size, and based on the measurements of their ship . . . Well, the controls seem like they would be most comfortable for a pilot of the same shape, but about four times the size."

"You mean . . . ours are _kids?!_ "

"It's only a theory." Borg pushed his glasses up his nose. "But yes, I believe they might be."

"Oh my gosh," said Jay. "That explains a lot!"

"But they're _orphans,_ " said Nya, wide-eyed. "Their parents must have died in that crash."

"Quite likely, yes," said Borg soberly. "They are fortunate they landed somewhere they would be taken care of, rather than somewhere they would be attacked or quarantined."

Jay thought of the treatment he'd seen sci-fi aliens receiving and shuddered. A few miles closer to civilization and his little alien babies would probably have been separated from each other, locked in cages, and experimented on till they died—or escaped, caused mass panic, and got shot.

"Their technology is quite fascinating, though," said Borg. "Almost all the materials used in their ship are not found on this planet, but many of the engineering details are uncannily similar. Even on other planets, best practices seem to evolve convergently."

They didn't have much more time to talk tech, but Borg promised to make more time for them later, or perhaps video call. After they left Borg's office, Jay and Nya stepped down to Room 1513 to talk to Mindy.

"Oh hi, Jay, Nya!" she exclaimed when they knocked. "Nice to see you!"

"Hope we're not interrupting anything?" said Jay sheepishly. "We brought photos of the ship."

Mindy was busy too, but she eagerly listened to Jay and Nya's descriptions of the spaceship's progress, even scribbling notes next to some of the photographs.

"So, this power system," she said, tapping the blueprints they had brought. "This sounds great, but it's a little beyond me. Explain it like I'm five?"

"Uhh . . . Because that's the way it is," said Jay without thinking, then winced, realizing that was kind of smart-alecky. Mindy looked at him for a moment, then laughed.

"Cute."

"Sorry," said Jay sheepishly, holding up one hand. "Well, so we actually built a model out of forks once, maybe I'll start there . . . "

Nya and Mindy seemed to have a good friendship in the making, and made idle plans about getting together to shop sometime. Jay privately hoped that he wouldn't be dragged along for that; he was kind of surprised that Nya was interested in a shopping spree herself. She'd never struck him as the type—but then, maybe he just hadn't known. Maybe she was secretly lonely, not knowing any other girls?

Eventually they talked themselves to a standstill and Mindy got up to walk them out. They let her keep the photographs, since she was so interested.

"Thanks for visiting," she said. "Drop in any time!"

"I just hope we didn't take up too much of your time," said Jay.

"You're fine, hun." Mindy gave him a wink and a wave, closing the door. Jay glanced to Nya, smiling.

"Smartphones now?"

"Smartphones now."

Nya's voice was cheerful, but she seemed oddly pensive as they headed down the hall to the elevators. In mid-stride the backs of their hands brushed, and abruptly Nya's hand twined around Jay's and held. He restrained a twitch of elated surprise and snuck a sidewise glance at her, wondering.

. . . Wait. Was this about Mindy?

Jay blinked as the thought hit him. Mindy _was_ pretty flirty as a rule . . . but he definitely hadn't said anything that would make Nya worry . . . he was pretty sure . . . Maybe she just subconsciously needed reassurance?

Wow. Being the object of one's possessiveness. He had a whole alphabet of conflicting feelings about that.

But most of them were nice ones. And he definitely didn't want Nya to worry. So he gave her hand a comforting squeeze and kept holding, their arms swinging together as they walked.


	61. Shut Up and Take Our Money

**Greenninjaisbae: Yay!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Woah, hey, take it easy! This is a fictional relationship, come on. ;)**

 **TheAmberShadow: Nah, actually she'd be quite understanding about it. Chen's House of Noodles is on the verge of bankruptcy, and she's concerned herself that she's not a good person to be in a relationship with right now. They both have wrecked-up lives, and right now it might be more important for the two of them to get their lives in order than to go around dating.  
Well, I always planned for the aliens to be kids, but the ninja didn't know; they just knew the aliens _behaved_ like kids. And Jay like a parent. :P  
Psh, Nya always has reason to be jealous. Guys have a natural tendency to be attracted to multiple women; the test of a man's character is whether he acts on these attractions.  
You mean the poll about whether to go the violent way or not? But . . . there were only two options? . . . **

**Zaptrap: Hehe, well thank you! If I have any spare psycho kittens lying around, I'll be sure to send you some. :P Heh, that's good, I'd hate to disenchant you.**

 **Guest: Aw, hi! Welcome. :) Glad you're enjoying the story.**

 **Monranr: They are indeed! Hmm, interesting theory . . .**

* * *

 **Sep 23**

 **1:59 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame**

* * *

"I thought we were getting smartphones," said Jay.

"We are," said Nya. "But we have to make our money stretch. I found a way to get some good deals."

"Uhh . . . I could be wrong, but when I think of 'deals,' I think of coupons and big sales," said Jay. "At . . . you know. _Stores_." He emphasized the last word, trying to tactfully make it clear why he was confused.

After all, they were standing in front of a private residence.

"I know, it looks a little sketchy," said Nya with a rueful laugh. "But I picked up some tips that this place specializes in refurbs. Way cheaper!"

"But isn't that risky? How do we know they're not plugged full of spyware?" said Jay.

"Hey, have a little faith in me." Nya gave him a cheeky glance, already heading down the concrete driveway. "Even if they do have something nasty installed, I can find and remove _anything._ "

Jay took in the house, with its slightly-shabby lawn, and shook his head. Still, he followed Nya towards the garage, which had a homemade sign reading "Hot Chips Electronics Refurb and Repair" above the door.

They entered through the small side door, and Jay's concerns performed some yo-yo tricks. The room was packed with tables and shelves piled with electronics, tools, boxes of computer parts; that was pretty good. It was kinda dim in here; that seemed sketchy. The typical garage smell was drowned out by the distinctive aroma of electronics, which was good, but there was a boom box playing loud obnoxious rap, which was sketchy. The proprietor had electric-blue hair, which was—

Wow. Actually not sure how to feel about that one.

Beside Jay, Nya was staring as well. Judging by her expression, she was feeling the same mixture of "that is awesome" and "what the actual frick" as Jay. The blue-haired girl took her feet off the table and set aside the tiny notebook laptop she'd been pecking at.

"Hey there. What's up?"

Jay made gradual progress towards finding words. Nya got there first.

"We were looking to buy some refurbished phones," she said.

"Awesome. Any specs?"

"Uhh . . . pretty much just the cheapest you've got," said Nya sheepishly. "We're trying to really stretch a budget."

"Huh." The girl reached over to smack the boom box into silence, then slid her swivel chair over to a different table. "'kay, so I've got a special table here for models that have something funky about them. They've all got labels explaining what the problem is, go ahead and nose around."

She slid her chair back. Jay and Nya looked at each other, then stepped forward to look through the phones. There were a few that had a lot of scratches or dings on the back, or scuffed corners; one or two were named "chronic crashers" and priced dirt-cheap.

"I don't want a crashing one," murmured Nya, under the thump of the resumed rap. She counted up the phones that only had external damage. "There's only four. We need five, ideally six."

"Maybe we could get two more that aren't damaged?" Jay murmured back.

They began to search the other tables, which were sorted by operating system. The prices were higher, but still a lot better than what you'd pay for a brand-new phone.

"Hey look," said Nya. "They have special easy-to-use phones for seniors who aren't good with technology. Sensei could totally use this."

" _Kai_ could totally use that," snickered Jay. Then he stiffened and clapped his hands over his mouth, realizing he probably shouldn't mention their names in front of this potentially shady stranger.

When he snuck a glance at the proprietor, however, she was still sitting casually with her back to him, fiddling with the innards of a tablet. Phew. Maybe she didn't follow the news much. She sure didn't seem like the type.

As they kept searching, Jay's eyes kept drifting to an interesting contraption off to one side of the room. It looked like a switchboard with four telephones hooked to the front and a laptop hooked to the back.

"S-say, just curious," he said at last, pointing to the device. "Is that some kind of call center?"

"Ugh, yeah." The blue-haired girl gave something that started as a laugh and ended as a groan. "Thaaaat. I was trying to run this kind of podcast radio show thing about alien encounters. I thought I'd actually need four phones to take all the callers. HA."

"Alien encounters?" said Jay, his eyebrows twitching up.

"Yeah. 'Dark Shores with Sylvia Werther'." The girl jabbed a finger at her collarbone. "I've got, like, four podcasts up online, mostly because I found people I knew and begged them to call in. Haven't heard from anyone else in months." She smiled wryly. "Why, ya into aliens?"

"Uhh . . . kinda, yeah," said Jay, trying not to grin. He could only see a blur of Nya out of the corner of his eye, but he could sort of feel the amused interest radiating over from her. Some luck!

"Cool, you should check it out then," said Sylvia. She seemed more animated now. "Hey, I'm desperate to get this thing popular. Tell some friends about the show, and I might even give you a hundred-ken discount on your phones."

"Really?"

Something about the way Nya said the word made Jay freeze. He got the strangest sense that things were about to go majorly and dramatically South.

"You know what, just an idea here," said Nya, leaning casually against a table with her arms folded. " _We_ need some phones, but we don't have quiiiite enough budget. _You_ need some callers for your show. Now, if we were to call in with some juicy alien details . . . " She raised her eyebrows meaningfully.

Jay stared at her in mute horror. This was not _even._

Meanwhile though, Sylvia gave Nya a smirk of understanding.

"Innnteresting." She leaned back in her swivel chair, arms also folded. "So you've had some alien encounters?"

"You could say that." Nya tilted her head coyly.

"Hmm. So, what kind of discount would you be looking for?" said Sylvia. Nya searched the ceiling, mentally calculating.

"Okay, so we can afford the four damaged phones. Actually, we have fifty thousand ken, so we could afford maybe _five_ damaged phones, but there aren't five. And we need six. Soooo . . . here's the deal. We call in on your alien show. You give us the four damaged phones, plus two undamaged ones, for fifty thousand ken."

Sylvia hemmed, brooding over the proposal.

"Ahh, sorry," she said at last. "Two good phones for the price of one bad one is too much to ask."

Jay tried not to give an audible sigh of relief. He continued to stare at Nya, trying to transmit with his eyes that she should ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY give up right now and not press this matter.

But Nya wasn't looking at him. She and Sylvia were locked in haggle combat now, and Jay was just a hapless bystander.

"Look, we've got a pretty good story," said Nya. "And I mean, I don't like playing this card, but we're kind of a big deal in Ninjago. Doncha think it would do your show some good if the famous _ninja_ called in?"

It took all of Jay's self-restraint not to just flop face-first onto the nearest table. Fantastic. Wonderful. This could not get worse.

"Ninja, huh?" Sylvia squinted at him and Nya. "I thought you looked familiar. Legit?"

"Mmm-hmmm," said Nya. "So, you know, that's really gonna give your show a boost. _Free celebrity endorsement_ , come on."

"Huh." Sylvia chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking.

"New offer," said Nya. "Ninja call in on your show. Fifty thousand ken down payment, and I'll pay you an extra ten thousand later. Meanwhile you give us the four damaged phones, two good ones, and throw in one of these easy senior phones too. They're cheap."

"Damn, girl," said Sylvia, giving a somewhat pained grin. "You're robbing me blind."

"Final offer," said Nya sweetly.

Sylvia looked around the cluttered garage for a few seconds. At last she slapped her hand down on the table.

"Okay. Deal!"

"Awesome!" grinned Nya, while Jay mentally resigned himself to wailing and grinding of teeth.

"Ah, ah! But!" Sylvia held up a hand. "Alien show _first_. Phones _then._ Ninja or no ninja, I need to make sure you won't just take the phones and disappear."

"Hmmmm." Nya sounded dissatisfied. "How do _we_ know you won't just sell off the phones in the meantime?"

"Hoo, wouldn't that be a dream." Sylvia laughed. "I see like two customers a month. I'm lucky if I sell _anything_. But hey. I'll play fair." She waved around the garage. "Pick out whatcha want. I'll put it on layaway for ya. I'll even lock 'em up all nice in a box and give you guys the key. I mean, _ninja_ wouldn't just break into my shop and steal the phones they need, right?"

"'Course not," laughed Nya. She scooped up the four damaged phones, the two cheapest good-quality ones, and a senior phone, then placed them all on Sylvia's table. Sylvia slapped the keyboard of her notebook for a few seconds, then printed out two copies of a rather sarcastic contract explaining the deal. They both signed. Nya beckoned Jay over, and he signed too, in something of a shellshocked daze.

Then Sylvia popped the phones into a small safe off to one side, tossed the key to Nya, and scribbled down her phone number.

"Call in anytime, noon to midnight. 'bout 10 PM tonight sound okay?"

"Uhhh, maybe nine?" said Nya, thinking of the _Bounty'_ s usual bedtime.

"Sure, whatev. I'm not going anywhere." Sylvia gave them a sarcastic salute as they walked out.

Jay knew he couldn't just freak out the minute they stepped outside; Sylvia might be able to see him through the windows in the garage doors. It might be best that the neighbors didn't see this either. He walked calmly at Nya's side till they were a fair bit out of the development.

As soon as they walked past the "Maple Street" sign, however, Jay whirled to Nya and grabbed his head.

" _What did you just DO?!_ "

"Whaaaat?" Nya gave him a "you're overreacting" look.

"You just set us up to reveal everything about you-know-who. On. The. INTERNET! _With our names!_ Thousands and thousands of people are going to listen to this! Did we not JUST come back from talking with Dr. Borg about how important it is to keep the al—keep them secret?! Like, _not_ all over the _internet?_ We're doomed!"

"Jay, woah, relax!" said Nya, holding up her hands. "We don't have to talk about the _real_ aliens. We can make up some totally bogus nonsense, like everyone else who calls in on those shows. You didn't think I was offering to talk about the _real_ aliens, did you?"

"So what are we supposed to do, lie? We can't lie!"

"You lie all the time," said Nya, folding her arms.

"About little stuff! White lies! But you don't just lie on the _internet!_ "

Nya raised her eyebrows silently.

"Argh, you know what I mean." Jay raked his hands through his hair. Subconsciously he hoped nobody was seeing this, it must look really bad. "You volunteered us with our _real names_. As the ninja. What is this going to do to our reputation? We're going on a kooky paranormal radio show where everyone lies. For good measure, _we're_ probably telling obvious lies. What are people gonna _think?_ "

"Oh gosh." Nya's face fell. "I hadn't thought of that."

"And we only have till tonight to come up with a fake story! How are we gonna do this?"

"Well, we can just go up there and say the total opposite of everything that's true," said Nya.

"No way! That's almost as bad as telling the exact truth. There was this whole philosophy thing where if you were supposed to look for a house with no windows and a dog and a square door and . . . " Jay trailed off, shaking his head. "Well anyway, if someone ever did find some clues about the aliens, and they saw they were exactly opposite to the _famous ninja_ podcast, they'd know exactly what was up, right away."

"Gosh." Nya's voice was small. "I . . . really messed up on this one, huh?"

"Argh." Jay shook his head again, fighting the urge to chew his knuckles anxiously. He looked up to Nya and stopped, softening; she looked pretty devastated. She'd just been trying to get the supplies they needed, after all. Just hadn't thought through the whole thing like Jay's chaotic neurotic brain was able to. She was more like her brother than either sibling wanted to admit.

"Well . . . look." Jay took a deep breath and let it out, putting aside his worry. "I'm sure we'll figure something out. Maybe the others will have some good ideas."

"Great, I can't wait for their reactions," groaned Nya. Jay winced.

"It'll be okay. It's, it's not your fault, you were just trying to make a deal."

"Wish you'd stopped me," said Nya. "I guess you couldn't, huh?"

"Ahh, it's okay." Jay hesitated, looked around, then plucked up his nerve and offered Nya his hand. "Come on. You said we might get something to eat after the smartphones, right? I'm starving. Ice cream sound good?"

"Can't anyway," said Nya, smiling ruefully. "That extra ten thousand ken I added to the deal? That was all my pocket money for next month."

"Oh. Well . . . I could pay. I wouldn't mind."

"You sure?"

"Sure. It'll all even out eventually." Jay shuffled his feet, wondering if they should start walking again, a little awkward since Nya hadn't taken his hand and he didn't want to just start off without her. Luckily Nya picked up the cue and started walking. He kept pace.

"Everything'll look better after some hot fudge, huh?" he offered hopefully. "I bet it'll give us some great brainpower, we'll figure something right out."

Nya said nothing, but her hand slipped into his again and squeezed.

* * *

 **A/N: Realized at some point this is basically an electronics version of "Stiix and Stones." Whaddaya know, making hasty bargains runs in the family! :P At least Nya got a good price instead of ending up with a higher one . . .**


	62. Cool Story, Bro

**WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo . . . . . . . *tapers off into distance***

 **. . . . . .**

 ***chugs slowly back***

 **Heh, sorry guys. Voltron LD Season 2. I'm still a trainwreck. A deliriously happy trainwreck! X3 All I need now is a plausible excuse to say "You were not meant to pass through that door," and my satisfaction will be complete.**

 **But hey! Disregarding my metaphorical train status, the updates shall go on!**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheAmberShadow: Ohhhh, now I get it! Heh, but I'm afraid I'm still just as much in the dark. The poll on my profile displays the options in a different random order every time it's opened. ^_^''  
They would probably prefer getting robbed, yeah. I'm sure Ronin could oblige them in that matter. XD  
Heh, yeah, three siblings would just be too much. Ninjago would not stand before them. :P  
Ooh, due precautions for protecting the skull! Wonderful. I see you've found a correctly-sized helmet by now? :)**

 **Guest: Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good! Can I offer you a soothing kitten? :P**

 **Zaptrap: Oooh, that would be so cool! Although if he was Sylvia's dad, I'm sure he'd have put her to work stealing and pawning ages ago, not hanging around selling refurb electronics. :P Thanks!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Probably not! But you never know with these rascally ninja . . .**

 **Guest 2: Heh, hopefully better than they reacted to Kai's news he'd lost them the tea farm. :P Ooh, nothing gets past you! Very good point. Thanks for the review!**

 **Monranr: Jay does have his moments of maturity, when he tries. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sept 23**

 **5:11 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai lame**

* * *

When Jay and Nya returned to the Bounty, pleasantly buzzed on butterscotch and sprinkles, they had a rough plan of how they would break the news to the others. Jay promised to offer moral support if they got angry.

It didn't go too badly, though. They were somewhat aghast, as Jay had been, but for the most part they agreed that they would be able to figure out a plausible slightly-true alien encounter story. They weren't sure what they were going to do about their reputations, though.

"I'm really sorry I got you guys into this," said Nya. She'd been keeping her eyes mostly on the floor all throughout this conversation, twisting the edge of her vest between her hands. "I got kinda . . . caught up in it."

"I'll admit I'm impressed," said Kai. "I thought that level of crisis creation was my job."

"Sh-shut up." Nya gave her brother a scowl, her cheeks bright-red. Jay twitched sympathetically; he knew what it was like to be this miserably embarrassed. He'd have liked to just scoop her in and snuggle her comfortingly until she forgot to feel bad, but he supposed that might make matters worse. Maybe later.

"Well, we need to get to work," said Lloyd. "You said there are some podcasts already online? Let's listen to them to see what kind of material sells."

Nya ran a search for "Dark Shores with Sylvia Werther" online, and found there were indeed four podcasts already existing. The content was by and large regrettable.

"Oh please, would you listen to this guy?" scoffed Kai. "I've heard five-year-olds tell better whoppers."

"Would you shut up, Kai?" sighed Cole. "We're supposed to be taking notes."

"I've learned all I need to know," grumbled Kai, sprawling out in the beanbag chair. "Weird hovering ships with bright lights and strange humming noises sell well. They all walk on two legs and only do things that are mysterious and creepy. Their conversations are mysterious and creepy, their gestures are mysterious and creepy. Even their bathroom breaks are mysterious and creepy."

"Attempted alien abduction is also in," said Lloyd, idly doodling spirals in the corner of a notebook as the podcast droned on.

"But not successful abduction, because this is radio and nobody could see your scars anyway." Kai let his head hang back, watching Meep and Mopp bonking each other with old toothbrushes. "Lucky _these_ guys aren't into abduction. I'd die of boredom."

Nya sighed, flopping back in her chair as the final podcast ended. As always, Sylvia gave her phone number and email address, urging more people to contact her with alien stories.

"Maybe I should just email Sylvia and ask her if we could be anonymous," she said. "I could fix us up with some voice scramblers, like the one in my Samurai X suit—"

"Woah, woah, no," said Lloyd. "We can't do that. You signed a contract. It might look kinda bad if we go on a weird alien show, but if it gets out that the ninja go back on their word, how bad is _that_ gonna look?"

"Yeah, you're right," sighed Nya, rubbing her face with both hands. "Geeeez."

"Well hey, on to the next step," said Jay. "Time to plot our own alien encounter. Gimme a sec."

Scooping up Mopp and tucking Meep under one arm, he headed to the spare room. The others tagged along.

"What are you doing?" asked Zane.

"Making up a good story is hard," said Jay, beginning to rummage in the boxes. "And making sure that everyone agrees on the details is even harder. So what we can do, is we can stage an actual encounter, just like it's really happening! That'll make it much more realistic and much easier to remember."

"Seriously?" Kai sounded unimpressed.

"You learn these things in show biz." Jay gave him a supercilious look. Fishing into a box of fabric that they had never made into curtains, he pulled out a length of velvety purple cloth and draped it over Meep. The alien gave an amused warble, bouncing slightly to make the cloth swish. He resembled a small purple ghost.

"This," said Jay solemnly, "is Commander Froola, fearsome ruler of the Velorians. Ruler of all he sees."

" _Gleep?!_ " cried Mopp, indignant.

"Oh, sorry," said Jay. He found some more purple cloth and tucked it around Mopp like a burrito, leaving the rest to trail as a long cape. "There. Now you're, uh . . . co-Commander. Commander Saymek, equally fearsome, insidious seeker of all who disobey. You sweep low among the commoners, uncovering treason, doling out retribution."

Mopp nodded, bunching himself up haughtily.

"Meanwhile Commander Froola seeks high, sweeping the populace with a cold, merciless eye," said Jay, gesturing to the small purple Meep-ghost.

"He doesn't even _have_ eyes." Kai folded his arms.

"One moment." Zane was already scrawling something on a piece of butcher paper. He held up a picture of two giant cartoon eyes, a little wobbly, but slanted angrily. "Is this good?"

"Perfect!" Jay took the paper and taped it to the Meep-ghost. "There. Happy, Kai?"

Lloyd was already trying not to snicker. Cole seemed to have doubts that this was really happening. Kai looked around and gave a deep sigh.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

They tried to stage an alien encounter. Jay's theatrical experience kicked in, and he reflexively began directing the proceedings.

"Okay, remember, evil aliens are the hot thing right now," he said, ushering Kai in front of Meep. "There you go. Bam, you've just stumbled across an evil alien. What do you do?"

Kai looked around, then picked up a broom and whapped Meep with it half-heartedly. Meep grumbled, fussing underneath his purple costume. The eyes fell off.

"No, no, geez!" Jay gave an exasperated sigh. "Put some heart into it!"

He turned to give Lloyd some advice on interacting with Mopp, then turned back just in time to see Kai swing the broom back over his head, winding up.

"NO!" yelped Jay. "Geez! Think what you'd really do if you met the _embodiment of evil_ on a dark night somewhere."

"Hit him," said Kai.

"No, no, no. He's super-tall, and he has fancy space lasers, and he's probably invincible and stuff. Act accordingly!"

Kai tossed aside the broom, disgruntled.

"What am I supposed to do, hurt his feelings?"

"Nobody likes you, evil alien guy!" joked Nya. "You're a loser!"

"Nobody believes in you!" Kai shook a stern finger at Commander Froola. "You're totally lame. Get lost."

"And then the evil aliens run away and the planet is saved!" said Lloyd.

"Yayyyy!" Kai made a sarcastic "woo-hoo" motion.

"Hey, stop insulting my aliens, you guys," said Jay. "They don't know acting."

Meanwhile Meep abruptly latched himself onto Kai's head, enveloping the ninja in flowing purple fabric and pitching him over backwards.

"Hey, get off!" Kai tried to pry himself free.

"See, this is what happens when you don't respect an evil alien lord," said Cole. "Maybe the aliens _do_ know acting."

"Iiiii think we need to take this from the top," sighed Jay.

* * *

They made multiple attempts at roleplaying a convincing alien story, all of which devolved into nonsense, general mayhem, and/or attempts at beating Kai to death with a roll of paper towel. Jay had started filming each attempt, hoping they could study any successful ones, and Lloyd absolutely forbade him to delete any of the footage.

"Well." Jay sighed, checking how much time was left on the camcorder tape. "I'm beginning to think this isn't gonna work."

"Maybe we should just write a story," said Cole, untangling Christmas lights from Mopp. "If we read it a whole bunch of times, at least we'll agree on the details."

"Or maybe we could find someone else's alien story, like a rare one, and take it for ourselves," said Kai. "Do you think this Sylvia knows a lot about alien sightings?"

"Probably," sighed Jay.

"Can I ask something?" said Zane hesitantly.

"You already did." Jay gave him a rueful grin. "Well, go ahead."

"Well, I suppose this must be one of the things I've forgotten . . . some of my memories are still missing fragments . . . "

"Go on, go on." Jay waved impatiently.

"Well . . . I was just wondering why the insects from Arcturus are not under consideration."

A moment of silence. Then a chorus of groans.

"How did we not think of this before?!"

Zane, who had been visibly wondering if he'd said something very stupid, gave a relieved smile.

"They would be all right to talk about?"

"Of course!" said Jay. "Actual aliens, really exciting story, we're all _very_ clear on the details, and for good measure it's even _true._ It's perfect! This fixes like ALL of our problems at once!"

"Not bad, Frosty," said Cole, punching the Nindroid's shoulder lightly. Zane beamed.

"I thought I had just forgotten why we should keep them secret . . . "

"No, everyone else just forgot they existed," said Kai ruefully. "Yay for us."

* * *

At around nine, the ninja gathered in the control room, ready to place the call to Sylvia. The aliens were locked in the spare room so they wouldn't make incriminating squeaking noises on-air. They phoned up the number Sylvia had given.

"Oh hey, you called!" Sylvia's voice on the other end of the line sounded slightly surprised. "Okay, I'm gonna put you guys on hold for a minute while I start the recording, do some intro dialog, okay? Don't go anywhere! I'll be right with ya!"

"Well, she's excited," said Kai as the line went silent. Jay adjusted the desktop mike, still stuck in director mode.

"All right everyone, let's try to keep this classy. No talking over each other, no long silences, no 'um, um, um.' Lloyd, what's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing." Lloyd struggled to sober up. "It's just really weird being on-air."

"You're going to be a problem, aren't you," sighed Jay. He shooed Lloyd back a few steps. "Stay away from this mike until you get hold of yourself, pal. Keep giggling like that and you're going in the spare room with the aliens. I am not joking. You're killing our credibility."

The speakers rattled as Sylvia's voice came through.

"You there, guys? Good to have you on the show!"

Out of the corner of his eye Jay saw Nya duck her head a little. He slipped her an encouraging smile and tilted up the mike.

"Hey! Good to be here."

* * *

"Phewwwww," sighed Nya, leaning back in her desk chair. "Thank gosh that's over with."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm feeling pretty good right now." Jay tucked his hands behind his head. "Win-win situation. Sylvia sounded super-excited about having us on the show, our personal integrity is unchallenged, and at the end of it all, we get discount smartphones."

"When _do_ we get those smartphones?" asked Cole.

"I'm emailing Sylvia now." Nya swung upright and began to type. "I'm thinking tomorrow should be fine."

Lloyd went to unlock the spare room and herded the aliens back into the control room.

"I'm still wound-up," he said. "Does anyone want to play video games before bed or something?"

"How about Technician files?" said Cole.

"That works too."

They took turns reading the next folder's contents aloud, pausing to discuss or take notes. The folder was mostly vague, boring procedural stuff, and they made Jay stop reading it in a South Innechian accent, so pretty soon only Zane and the current reader were paying much attention.

"Dangit, Lloyd," said Jay, keeping his voice low.

"What?" Lloyd, sprawled on the floor, tilted his head back to give him a puzzled look.

"I just saw your hair, and I thought there was a shaggy puppy!" Jay gave his most wounded scowl.

"Sorry for being disappointing," said Lloyd drily, while Kai muffled a laugh.

"What's all the mumbling back there?" called Cole wearily. He was the current reader. "Pay attention. They're talking about forming a new base here."

"Yeah?" said Kai lazily.

"Yeah. Base Eight. It sounds like they're going to be storing a lot of stuff in it; there is, and I quote, 'a weird useless room they have towards the back.' Whoever owns that company is allowing the Technicians to store paperwork and stolen electronics in there."

"Well, that narrows it down a lot," said Kai. "Now we just have to look for buildings with useless rooms."

"Oh, shut up." Cole yawned. "Keep your ears open. If they keep emailing each other about the new base, maybe we'll find some clues about what kind of company it is."

"It's some kind of manufacturing or heavy industry," said Nya, yawning as well. "Remember, there was that email where they were worrying that the vibrations and dust would hurt the electronics if they stored them in there."

"Great, so we need a building with heavy machinery _and_ a useless room," said Kai. He leaned aside as Cole tossed a mousepad at his head.

"You think you're so smart, _you_ take a turn reading," grumbled the earth ninja. Shrugging, Kai hoisted himself to his feet, favoring his splinted ankle (he had refused the healing tea that day), and plopped himself down in the control chair.

"Nnnnext email, addressed from boring person to boringer person." He yawned in turn. It was getting pretty clear they should all be in bed by this point. "The what's-his-face, CapsLock. He says, 'Just talked with Halsey about the vibration problem. He says that part of the building is pretty dust-free and is safe for computers. They keep their own offices right nearby. I think we should be good to go, give me the word and I'll seal the—'"

"Woah, woah, hold up there!" Cole sat up. "Was that a name?"

"Mm?" Kai flicked his eyes back a line or two. "Oh, yeah. Halsey."

"That's a lead!" said Nya excitedly. "Halsey must be a person from the company serving as Base 8! And he'd probably be someone pretty high-up in the company, if he can call the shots about joining the Technicians."

"Searching." Zane tilted his head, his eyes going dim. "PIXAL and I are performing a database retrieval; keywords 'Halsey,' 'industry,' 'manager.' Sorting by date." He blinked, then smiled. "Six promising results, with high consistency."

"How's that?" Everyone looked to the Nindroid eagerly.

"All searches point to Ted Halsey, CEO of Gisher Mines and Metalwork. A large mining and industrial metallurgy corporation about fifty kilometers from New Ninjago City. Isolated location, good for housing a criminal base."

A bit of silence.

"Well," said Kai glumly. "Guess I'll have to drink some more of that healing tea after all."


	63. SHOOK

**Hoo! You all ready for some bogus science? 'Cos we're about to have a lot of bogus science! I did a bunch of research on chemical and industrial stuff for the ninjas' trip through the Gisher mining complex, but then I took all that research, stuffed it in a sleeping bag, and bundled it out the window. My excuse is that Borg Industries and Chen's noodle mine probably aren't the most accurate pictures of the industry either. :P**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Heh, well thank you! I don't really know where I get humor from; most funny folks say humor is how they express the darkness of their souls, and I'd believe it. :P**

 **TheAmberShadow: Aw right! Now we've got that all sorted out. Thanks for your patience! ^_^  
Always better to be prepared for nothing than to not be prepared for everything! :P  
Kai is very fun to attack with paper towels; he'll always give you the full theatrical experience. Zane and Cole are really boring, they'll just be like, "why are you doing that. Quit." But Kai will die dramatically and have really poetic last words and stuff. He gets killed by paper towel rolls at least once a month because of this. ;P  
Hehe, I almost didn't think of it myself, but I was rewatching Rebooted. XD Thanks for the review!**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Tin Can always pulls through!**

 **LiaLia15: Hi there! Aw man, well that sucks. Do you think your password is having issues, or does it look like a system thing?  
And my panic at the lack of chapter buffer is real. XD Heh, but thanks!**

 **Zaptrap: Darn-tootin' they better find something useful in those files! That was too long a tunnel mission to be useless. :P Sayyy, you have a point! Hadn't thought of that. Man, better not let him go on any space voyages** **—** **he'd end up collecting pets off every planet he visited. XD**

 **Monranr: They can be! I think I prefer a nice garlic twist myself, though. :P**

 **Guest: Thanks! Heh, you guessed right; I'm writing at least four or five chapters ahead of what I post, so the bugs were already written at the time. :)  
Well, if Jay has any say in the matter, he and Nash won't meet at all! I think he'd very much prefer that option, because Nash would definitely have plans to kill him. :P**

* * *

 **Sept 24**

 **10:32 AM**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

Nya went to pick up the new smartphones the next day. She returned to find the ship buzzing with excitement about tonight's raid on the Technicians.

"Is he okay?" she asked, tilting her head at Kai. He was draped on the table.

"He's fine," said Cole, rolling his eyes. "He's just being a drama queen about the healing tea. He drank it like a whole hour ago, geez."

Kai made some indistinct grumbling noises in Cole's general direction. Nya patted him on the head tentatively.

"Heyyyyyy, are those the smartphones?" Jay skidded in, aliens in tow. "Oh man! Can we use them right now? Can we use them on the raid?"

"No, no no no." Nya held the cloth bag of amateurishly-boxed smartphones away from Jay. "Nobody can use these till I've scanned them for viruses and Technician code and stuff."

"Awwww . . . " sighed Jay.

"So does that mean they won't be ready for the raid?" said Cole. "We were hoping to pull it off tonight."

"Probably not, sorry," said Nya. "I mean, I could try to rush the job, but it'll take you guys a while to get used to handling these anyway. Tonight would be too soon to use them on a mission either way."

"Huh." Cole knit his brows. "So we'll be going in without any long-distance communication. That puts a kink in it . . . "

"There's also the question of whether Kai's going to be on his feet by this evening," said Nya. "In, uh, several senses."

Kai sighed.

* * *

As the ninja trained that afternoon, Sensei Wu put Kai through his paces, checking how his leg had healed. Between the first dose when they got back from the mines and the other dose earlier today, he had made what looked like a complete recovery. Sensei wanted to be sure, though.

"Lloyd," said Jay, putting down his nunchucks. "Why are my aliens bro-hugging?"

"Huh?" Lloyd looked across the room to the aliens. "Oh, heh. They were hanging around while I was teaching Zane some hugging alternatives. I guess they learn faster than I thought."

"Unacceptable!" said Jay. "I will not have it. You're corrupting their innocence. Next thing they'll be fist-bumping."

At the sound of the word Mopp up a tentacle obligingly. Jay's glare at Lloyd intensified.

"Sorry . . . " said Lloyd sheepishly. "But come on. You can't just leave him hanging."

Grumbling, Jay socked his fist lightly against Mopp's. Then he picked up his nunchucks just in time to deflect Kai, who was sailing at his head with a training sword.

"Yeesh," grumbled the lightning ninja. "I'm glad they don't learn _this_ kind of stuff."

"Out of practice much?" grinned Kai. "You're supposed to disarm me."

"And you're supposed to walk _silently_ ," retorted Jay. He knew better than to use "I wasn't ready" as an excuse, at least in front of Sensei. When a ninja, you _always_ had to be ready.

"Ah, gimme a break, I'm still getting used to having two working feet," grumbled Kai. He was still smiling, though. "Anyways, Sensei says I'm healed up and good to go!"

"Awesome," said Cole. "Grab some gear and a light dinner guys, we're starting out before dark."

"Are you coming with us this time, Nya?" asked Jay hopefully.

"Love to," said Nya. "I want to see one of these Technician bases for myself."

* * *

Two hours later they were perched atop a large sign reading "Gisher Complex," looking over at a darkened cluster of buildings, towers, and metal trusses. The rumble of machinery drifted faintly on the breeze.

"I did some research on this place," said Nya quietly. "The complex is built on top of rich deposits of twelve different kinds of metals and minerals. Gisher is one of the only companies that handles the entire process all by itself—mining the ore, refining it, and using it to make products. That's why the facility is so _huge_."

"A little too huge, if they have extra room to give to the Technicians," said Kai.

"Sucks for us, though," said Cole. "We can't search this entire place in one night, especially since we have to stick together. Which building would be the most likely to have the Technician base in it?"

"Retrieving schematics." Zane's eyes flickered, then flashed bright as he projected a pale-blue hologram of the Gisher complex. Jay craned his neck over and smiled in surprise; the hologram overlayed perfectly with the actual complex in front of them.

"On the far right is the main mining operation," said Zane, gesturing at a cluster of machinery. "The silos hold rough ore. The trusses and conveyor belts transport the ore into the rightmost building, Building A, which is where the ore gets refined and the metal extracted. The next building is B, purification and smelting. Then towards the back is Building C, for metal-plating, copper brushing, casting, wire-drawing, and other conversion of metal to finished products. All of these buildings appear to have extra space for offices and storage."

"Aw, well that narrows it down a lot," sighed Cole.

"Waaaaait," said Jay. "Dust! Dust and vibrations! Remember? The Technicians were worried about those messing up their electronics."

"And the place most likely to have dust and vibrating heavy machinery—" began Nya.

"—Is probably Building A, where they work with raw ore," said Cole. "Awesome. We'll start there."

"Provided a truck ever comes . . . " muttered Kai. "I don't know how many deliveries they get at this hour."

They waited, swinging their heels against the back of the sign. Zane started reviewing algebra with Lloyd.

"All right, what's this?" he said, flashing a string of hovering pale-blue numbers and letters.

"Uhm, quadratic function," said Lloyd.

"Right. Can you factor it?"

Lloyd squinted, mouthing calculations.

"Sixteen, and that's eight, and—oh! It's a perfect square! X plus four squared."

"Exactly." The numbers rearranged into the final answer.

"You guys are giving me hives," said Jay, who had enough high school to remember this topic.

"It's not that bad," said Lloyd. "Easier than I'd expected."

"He had a good teacher," said Zane blandly. This earned several disbelieving exclamations from the others.

"Wa-how, Lloyd, what have you done to him?" laughed Kai.

"He also had a good teacher," said Lloyd, giving Zane a knowing grin and holding up one fist. The Nindroid punched it lightly. He looked beyond pleased with himself for being so hip.

Abruptly there was a _kee kee!_ and a clatter of wings. Zane's falcon shot in and landed on its master's head, hopping around with its feathers standing every which way.

"Someone's coming?" Zane turned to look down the service road. Sure enough, in the distance was the glow of headlights.

"Aw right!" Everyone immediately swung down to hang behind the sign, waiting for the truck to pass underneath. It seemed to take forever.

Finally, though, the vehicle whooshed underneath them, its tires crunching gravel. Everyone jumped, landing as lightly as possible.

"We're in business!" said Cole. They flattened themselves against the truck's roof so the guards at the complex gates wouldn't see them.

The truck paused at the gates. The guards exchanged some muffled words with the driver. The ninja and samurai on the roof held their breaths. Jay peeked over at Nya, who was adjusting her samurai bracelet grimly. If things got hairy, she was ready to summon her mech through some more walls if need be.

The truck rumbled into motion again, and the group on its roof sighed in relief. The trailer swayed as the truck drove around to the back of the building, heading for a loading dock.

"Ohhhh shoot! Get off guys, get off!" hissed Cole suddenly. Jay lifted his head and saw a group of workers standing around at the dock, probably waiting to unload the truck. They'd almost certainly spot the crew on top of it.

"There!" whisper-shouted Kai, and they all leaped off the truck and darted to hide behind a bulldozer.

"Now what?" whispered Nya. "We can't sneak in through here. Even if we knocked everyone out, we'd probably still attract way too much attention once they woke up again."

"The front door's probably even worse . . . " muttered Cole, his eyes roving across the large building. Suddenly he broke into a smile. "I've got it. Follow me."

"Where are we going?" said Jay, as Cole started to head _away_ from the building.

"There's one path that probably won't be guarded," said Cole. He pointed overhead. "We're gonna get in the same way the ore does."

* * *

They scaled one of the tall metal scaffoldings supporting the ore conveyor. On one side, a huge black box trembled and made horrific grinding, crunching noises.

"This is where they grind the ore up into small pieces!" shouted Cole above the noise. "The next conveyor belt shakes the ore to sort it by size through a series of sieves. You see that skirting below this section? That's so the dust doesn't blow away. We can just walk on the top conveyor belt and get right into the building."

"Can we walk on that?" asked Jay uneasily.

"Sure," said Cole. "Haven't you ever been at one of those playgrounds with a shaky bridge?"

He clambered up to a service platform next to the ore crusher, beckoning for the others to follow him.

"Is this a bad time to mention that I never liked the shaky bridge?" said Jay unhappily. The others were already climbing ahead. Sighing, he followed.

In front of them, ore tumbled out of the ore grinder, spilling onto a slanting conveyor belt made of mesh. Immediately most of the ore disappeared, sifting through the mesh and onto a lower conveyor belt. You could catch brief glimpses of the finer sieve down below. Meanwhile, the few rocks that didn't fall through the top sieve bounced and jittered down the incline, heading for the building.

"Let's go," said Cole. "Remember, stick together. It's gonna be hard to find each other if we get separated."

Zane waved to his falcon, which landed on his shoulder, ready to assist. Normally he wouldn't take it inside a building, but since they were without communicators on this mission, the falcon could help them find each other if worst came to worst. Meanwhile Cole stepped forward onto the conveyor belt. He hadn't even taken one step before he cried out and jumped backwards, stumbling into Kai.

"What, what happened?" yelped Jay.

"Holy—" gasped Cole, twitching. "That—I-I think the mesh is electrified."

"It's not," said Jay. "I'd feel it if it was."

"Well, _you_ touch it then," said Cole. He still looked shaken. "That went straight through me like an electric shock all right."

Eyebrows raised, Jay crouched down and slowly reached to touch the conveyor belt, keeping his thumb on the metal platform as a ground. Immediately an agonizing pain rocketed up his arm, sprouting from deep inside his bones. With a yelp he yanked his hand back.

"Th-that's not electricity," he said. "It felt like my bones were on fire."

"Yeah, like that," said Cole. Jay winced, realizing Cole must have felt _that_ all over. Hot dang.

"Let me try," said Zane. He crouched next to Jay and carefully touched the metal mesh. Everyone watched him tensely, but he didn't react. His expression grew dark, however.

"You are right, Jay. The mesh is not electrified," he said. "However, it is vibrating slightly but very rapidly, probably to help shake the ore through it. The vibrations are roughly 26 kilohertz—the resonant frequency of bone."

"Resonant frequency?" said Lloyd.

"Yeah." Nya looked sick. "Every substance has a natural frequency its particles vibrate at. If you add vibrations at the same frequency—like making the right pitched sound, for instance—the particles will vibrate harder. Have you ever seen what happens to glass when an opera singer hits the right note? . . . "

Silence.

"Well that's just great," said Cole thinly.

"So if we walk on this thing, our bones will _explode?_ " said Kai.

"The leg bones at least," said Zane. "The vibrations are probably deadened as they travel through your body. Although, in that case you would fall over, and . . . " He shrugged, grimacing.

"Oh, frick," muttered Kai. "Lovely."

"Should we . . . maybe find a different way in?" said Lloyd.

"No, I'll go," said Zane. "I do not have bones. I'll shut off the belt and send back the falcon when it's safe."

"Are you sure, Zane? Vibrations aren't good for electronics either—"

"I'll be quick." Zane stepped onto the vibrating mesh. It made a strange shrieking noise whenever he lifted his foot, as the vibrating surface lost contact with his metal soles. Nothing else happened, however. He gave a quick wave and loped towards the building, each footstep whining.

"If there are any workers in there, come right back!" Kai shouted after him.

Zane disappeared into the building. The others waited in silence. Cole took a deep breath and let it out, visibly suppressing a shudder. Lloyd reached over to squeeze his shoulder comfortingly.

"I-I'm okay," mumbled Cole. Jay shook his head in sympathy.

"I always hated the shaky bridge."

* * *

 **BlueScreen** : Well, they worked it out. They're getting into the building.

 **Silica:** Good. I've got access to the entire complex's security system, I'll be keeping a tight eye on the cameras. Though not so much to watch them, Blue. Not to watch THEM.

 **BlueScreen:** Your subtlety floors me. Truly.

 **Silica:** I'm not joking. If anything unplanned happens to them, I. Will. Know. And you will be OUT of this project at exactly that moment.

 **BlueScreen:** And exactly three moments later, you will be dead. Would you stop with the same empty threats? I know where you live. You know what I'll do to you if you cut me out.

 **Silica** : Go ahead. If I'm dead, there won't BE any more project. So you have two options: behave yourself, we succeed, and you'll get Ninjago in the palm of your grimy scaly hand. Or disobey, and one way or another you'll get nothing. Capiche?

 **BlueScreen:** Whatever.

 **Silica** : I'll assume for your sake that's a yes.

 **CapsLock (private):** Hey Sil. I'm just . . . kinda lurking here watching the drama. Wanted to let you know I'm in your corner. Hang tough, okay? You're doing a good job standing up to him.

 **Silica (private):** Standing up to him. STANDING UP to him. This bastard is practically in charge of ME. And he knows it, dammit, does he ever know it.

 **CapsLock:** It's okay. You're doing fine, your logic is sound. Just keep being firm.

 **BlueScreen:** Awwww. Forgot to hit "private message," sweetie?

 **CapsLock:** #$% & YOU BLUE

 **CapsLock (private):** Sorry Sil. Didn't mean for him to see that. Damn.

 **Silica (private):** It's okay. Thanks. Heh, keeping the fabric of my mind together wasn't supposed to be part of your job description anyway . . . Ah, I'm just glad the ninja took the bait. Things'll go so much easier once we're done with this.

* * *

 **A/N: For the record, I doubt that's the actual resonant frequency of bone. Looking up "resonant frequencies of materials" only turned up glass, and I was _not_ about to specifically search for bone. I don't need to end up on any (more?) watchlists. :P**

 **On a different note! Holy biscotti, you guys, they just released the alternate Chinese-animated version of "Day of the Departed," and it is AWESOME! The animation is noticeably simpler, but it's WAY more carefully done. I think like half the sins in the "Everything Wrong With" don't exist in the Chinese version, and that's not even counting possible repairs in dialog. And Zane's fight scene is cooler!** **And Ronin is cooler!** **And the scene with the students flying into the Rift of Return is AMAZING!**

 **Sooo, yeah. Good stuff! It's on YouTube if you want to give it a try. :)**


	64. It's a Trap!

**I don't think I could've used a different meme for this chapter title even if I wanted to. XD**

 **TheAmberShadow: MARCH? Well dang! Not cool. :( Eh, maybe there'll be earlier versions leaked, like in previous seasons?  
Oh, Jay is the reigning drama sovereign. XD The aliens totally already know how to hug, though—he was mad because they were learning _bro_ -hugging, which is a more hands-off, no-touchy-feely kind of hug. He wants to keep them innocent and okay with regular hugs.  
I have no idea! I'm not sure if "shaky bridge" is the official name or anything, I just didn't know what else to call it. XD  
Better animation! A lot of the things that didn't make sense or looked goofy in the English version were fixed in the Chinese version. If nothing else, check out the opening sequence** **—** **it's totally brand-new, and it's epic and adorable.  
Regarding "Backstage," ya know, I should have thought of using that! Heh, I'd forgotten Nya needed convincing. That's one way she's different from her brother. :P  
**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Haha, yeah, I didn't understand a word either . . . Well no, actually that's not true. I understood "Chuck." XD  
Thanks for the "Backstage" review too** **—don't worry, Kai knows what he's doing. He'll keep Lloyd's destructive power in check. :P**

 **LiaLia15: Aww, I'm sorry. :/ Thanks very much! Heh, yeah, this story takes place right after Season 4, so the whole "water ninja" bombshell hadn't dropped yet. I do love water-ninja Nya, though! ^_^  
Onwards the poor saps go! They are entirely oblivious. :(**

 **Zaptrap: If it can go wrong, it will! Thanks for the review.**

 **Monranr: Cool, let me know what you think! And I dunno, there's probably an _actual_ real resonant frequency for human bone, and it would be kind of weird to just make up a different one. That's like, I dunno, changing what color the sky is for no particular reason. But for lack of research material, that's what I had to do. :P**

 **Jens: Hi there! You said you read this story too, so I assume you're seeing this? Thanks very much for the "Backstage" review! ^_^**

* * *

 **Sept 24**

 **9:44 PM**

 **Status conditions: None**

* * *

The mesh no longer burned, but the ninja and Nya still crossed it as fast as they could. Zane was waiting for them by the controls, his falcon already circling his head.

"I'll restart the belt so nobody notices anything has changed," he said. "Please keep your voices down. I still sense workers in this building."

"Night shift," sighed Cole. "Well, that makes things tricky. Which way to the offices?"

"They are on the other side of this building."

"Greaaaaat."

With Cole leading the way, they snuck along behind a stand of machinery. All of a sudden the earth ninja stiffened and backed up, shooing the others with him. They ducked out of sight just in time as a workman walked past.

"Shoot," muttered Cole.

He and Zane clambered up to the top of an ore tumbler, peeking over it to scope out the plant. It was an open floor plan: one gigantic concrete-floored room, dotted with machinery, filled with dust and shimmering heat waves. Far on the other side, a set of doors marked "Offices" tempted them.

"If this is their night shift, I'd hate to see how this place buzzes during the day," said Cole, his eyes flicking from worker to worker. "Zane, you see any way through this?"

"As far as I can tell, there is no reliable way to sneak through this building without entering anyone's line of sight. Even for one ninja it would be difficult; for six of us together . . . "

Cole gave a dissatisfied snort. He and Zane slid back down to join the others, who were trying to soothe Zane's falcon. Lloyd was holding it so it wouldn't try to fly after Zane, and it disapproved. The Nindroid took the falcon back and let it perch on his shoulder, chucking its beak in gentle reproach.

"We can't get through," said Cole. "This is going to be a problem. The doors to the other buildings are near the office doors, so maybe we could sneak in through Building B or C, but that would take forever . . . "

"What about there?" said Kai. "It looks like you can walk back there."

The others looked where he was pointing. There was a fine mesh screen along one side of the building, almost as large as the wall itself. It wasn't built directly against the wall, however—you could see at the edge that there was room to slip behind it.

"Worth a shot," said Cole.

It wasn't too hard to sneak over. There was a large stack of crates right nearby where they could hide, and then a very short dash through the open. Jay went first, slipping just far enough behind the screen to see what was back there.

"Woah!" he whispered, breaking into a grin. "Cool!"

One by one the others darted to join him.

"Okay, that is impressive," said Nya.

The screen was evidently a shield for the building's cooling system. Behind it was a large, dim room, filled with a long row of massive fan turbines. They gleamed slightly in the dark, each blade twice as tall as a human, roaring as they drew hot, dusty air out of the building. Lloyd muffled a sneeze.

"This is great!" whispered Jay. "You can't see through this screen, so we can just walk right through to the other side of the building!"

"A little breezy, though," said Kai, sticking one arm closer to the path of the fans.

"I'm sure it'll be okay," said Jay. "Just dig your feet in."

They started to walk, single file, even though there were a good dozen feet between the screen and the fan blades. They'd only taken a few steps when the roaring of the fans suddenly changed. A growl of motors, a whine of axles speeding up, and gradually the blades began to spin much faster. Air began to whistle violently through the mesh cover. Soon the breeze was so strong that the ninja could barely see. Dust stung their faces as their hair whipped into their eyes.

"I'm slipping!" yelped Nya suddenly. At the same instant Jay felt the gale beginning to lift his feet off the floor too. Gasping, he grabbed for the mesh on his other side, but it was too fine to dig his fingers into. There was nothing to hold onto. The dust blinded him completely, but he could feel the concrete scraping beneath his soles as he was sucked steadily backwards towards the whirling fan blades. He struggled to lean against the wind, but it was too strong—he was starting to lose his balance—

—He caught a glimpse of a fan blade almost directly above him, blurred into a whirling circle—too close, much too close—

Then there was a sharp industrial whine, and a blazing globe of green energy exploded around them, shredding the fan as it spun into the surface. The air fell still. Fine shavings of metal sifted down over the ninja as they began to pick themselves up, checking if they were still alive. Most of the shavings were quickly sucked into the draft created by the adjacent fans.

"Nice shot, Lloyd," said Cole raspily.

"Reflex." The green ninja pawed his hair out of his eyes. "Is everyone okay?"

"Seems like." Kai brushed metal shavings from his shoulders. "You think they heard that?"

"I'm more worried they _saw_ that," said Cole. "The flash would probably show through the mesh."

"Well, nobody's here yet . . . " said Nya.

They sat for a moment in the new calm spot at the edge of the cooling room, watching the other fans whining at full-speed. After a few seconds the blades slowed again, returning to the gentler suction the ninja had first seen.

"So, it operates on a cycle," said Cole. "The fans speed up and slow down regularly."

"And the fast cycle is definitely enough to suck in a person," said Nya. "Now what?"

"Well, we could wait for the very start of a slow phase, then make a run for it," said Kai. "It probably lasts long enough for us to get to the other side."

"And if it doesn't?" said Jay. "I would not want to be right in the middle of that room _just_ when the fans pick up again."

"We need to anchor ourselves down," said Nya.

"With what?" Lloyd spread his hands. "There's nothing we could grab onto or carry with us. What if we made ourselves more aerodynamic so the wind didn't pull us as much?"

"That's a good idea. Lloyd, better cut your hair."

"Knock it off, guys, this is not the time," said Cole impatiently. "I'm sure hair contributes to it, but the main thing is probably our clothes acting as sails. And it's not like we can just—Kai, put your shirt back on."

"Well, it would _work,_ " said Kai.

"No. Just no."

"I could go ahead here, too," Zane spoke up. "I am entirely smooth metal; the wind barely affects me."

"But how does that help? The rest of us would still be stuck back here."

"There must be some controls for the fan cycles somewhere. They are not here; therefore it seems more likely they would be somewhere on the other side."

"Are you sure the wind wouldn't suck you in too?" said Jay dubiously.

"We will see." Zane handed his falcon off to Lloyd again. The bird hissed irately, realizing this meant Zane was about to try some stupid stunt or other.

Seconds later the fans' fast cycle started up again. Zane slowly began to walk forward, into the path of the first working fan. The others waited tensely, ready to snatch him back if necessary.

They had nothing to worry about. The breeze passed right over Zane's smooth titanium shell, allowing him to walk without even leaning much against the wind. He trudged doggedly forward as the fast cycle continued. When it ended he broke into a trot, soon disappearing at the other end of the screen.

"I hope nobody sees him over there," muttered Kai.

They waited. The constant roar of the fans drowned out the sound of machinery outside, and would probably also drown out any sounds of scuffle if Zane was caught. Still, they strained their ears.

Suddenly there was a loud metallic rattle from overhead. Everyone jumped. From a slot in the ceiling, a thick metal grate began to lower, kind of like the rolling grates that cover closed stores at malls. It was a few feet away from the fine mesh, creating a safe corridor to walk in front of the fans.

"Well. That works!" said Cole.

Zane waved from the far end of the room. The ninja started out towards him at a rapid clip. When the next fast cycle started up, they were all sucked back against the grate, but they managed to keep moving by pulling themselves along. Soon enough they rejoined Zane.

"I couldn't find the fan controls, but I did find _that_ ," he said. "It must be a safety device for when the fans are serviced or the mesh gets cleaned. I imagine it must collect dust often."

Kai looked back at the long, darkened row of fans, looking dissatisfied.

"Something wrong?" asked Nya.

"I don't know . . . " Kai shook himself. "I'm overthinking things. Let's keep moving."

With a little stealth, they quickly reached the door marked "Office." Getting through it without being seen was tricky, but Nya managed to create a distraction by throwing a piece of scrap metal, creating a lot of noise in another part of the room.

Once they were safely in the hallway leading to the offices, they all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Stay alert," said Cole. "We don't know how often someone comes walking down this hall."

"Probably not too often," said Kai. "Office work doesn't really have a night shift."

Kai seemed to be right. Most of the lights were off, and the few small offices on either side were closed and locked.

"We need a big room," said Cole. "Let's try the very back, upstairs."

"You know, they have some really nice offices here, for a factory," remarked Jay as they headed up the darkened stairs. "Potted plants and everything."

"Chen's noodle mine it ain't," agreed Cole.

"I really like whatever it is they're using for an air freshener, too," said Nya.

"Oh, you're right, that is nice." Jay took a deep breath of the sugary vanilla scent hanging on the air. "Ha, too bad we can't just go up to them and ask where they get it. The training room could totally use this."

Cole chuckled from up ahead, then yawned.

"Stay . . . on task, guys."

"You're feeling sleepy at a time like this?" said Kai amusedly.

"Ugh, I don't know. Just came over me all of a sudden. Maybe it's too peaceful in here."

"Well quit it, you're making _me_ yawn," said Jay, covering his mouth. He blinked woozily. What had they come in here for again? Egh. Right now this amazing vanilla smell seemed much more important. He concentrated on breathing deeply.

"Are you all right?" Zane's voice sounded like he was underwater. "Guys? Guys!"

Jay's vision was going blurry, but he was starting to smell the vanilla less now. His last thought was that this was very disappointing.

* * *

Jay awoke freezing cold, hearing Zane's falcon screaming in his ear. Groaning, he pushed himself up on his elbows and squinted around at his dim surroundings. Where was he?

"Thank goodness you're all right." Zane's familiar voice was followed by an intense wave of cold.

"Yipes!" Jay jolted upright, shaking off a thin layer of frost. "The heck, Zane?!"

"Apologies. I had to wake you." Zane turned to send a fine layer of ice over Lloyd, who shook his head through his sleep and mumbled "close the window, Jay."

Jay took another look around, still shivering. He realized that this was the first hallway of the office complex, downstairs. The others were lying on the floor in various stages of awakening, except for Zane and his falcon, who were as lively as meerkats. The falcon was hammering its beak against Kai's forehead.

"What happened?" mumbled Jay. His head felt foggy, and his nostrils tingled oddly with a tiny bit of leftover vanilla.

"Sleeping gas," said Zane grimly. "I forgot the Technicians had use of that. It didn't affect me or the falcon, but all of you fell asleep. They must have been planning to kidnap or kill us while we were sleeping; as soon as you were knocked out, I was attacked by three men in gas masks."

"Oh my gosh." Jay stared at him. "What happened?"

"They underestimated how effective the falcon and I are." Zane gave the tiniest hint of a smile. "My falcon ripped the gas mask off one of them, while I fought the other two till they fled. The first one is still asleep upstairs. I dragged the rest of you down here where you could recover."

"Well dang," muttered Jay. "Now they know we're here."

"You kidding?" Kai was awake by now, holding the falcon upside-down by its feet. "They _knew we were coming._ "

"Say what?"

"Well what, you think they flood their offices with sleeping gas for kicks and giggles?" said Kai. "I was getting suspicious when I saw the safety grille on the fans was removed. But _this_ just proves it."

"But then why haven't more of them come in here to attack us?" said Jay uneasily. "How long ago did those two guys run off?"

"Fourteen point thirty-three minutes ago." Zane tilted his head. "I do wonder why they haven't summoned reinforcements yet."

Kai looked grimly around at the others, still slowly waking up.

"Maybe we should leave."

With help from Jay and Kai, everyone was soon roused. They debated for a while, but at last decided they had gone too far to back out now. While most of the team stayed downstairs, ready to face any Technicians who might attack, Zane went upstairs to look for the Technicians' room. He returned shaking his head.

"There are only plain offices and a large empty room up there."

"Shoot. I would've thought we were on the right track, since they went to the trouble of guarding it with sleeping gas," said Cole.

"Do you think they cleared out their stuff once they knew we were coming?" said Jay.

"Maybe we just have the wrong building," said Lloyd. "If all of them are built on similar floor plans, the other two should have a big storage room like that too. Maybe one of them isn't empty."

Cole shook his head unhappily.

"That's a big risk. Especially since they know we're here . . . Who knows what kind of other traps they might have!"

"Well, it's not like getting out of here is going to be easy anyway," said Nya. "We might as well head out through another building. B is smelting, C is final production, so I'd say C is more likely to have dust and vibrations."

Luckily they didn't have to go back into the main ore-processing room of Building A to get there. A side door in the office section opened right into the hallway to Building C. Luckily, Building C was much more sparsely populated.

"Yikes," said Lloyd, as they were hit by a wave of searing chemical scents. "This isn't some other kind of poison gas, is it?"

"I don't think so," said Cole. "I smell metal. This is where they do etching and chemical baths and stuff, so it's going to smell like chemicals."

"Unfortunately the etching process does produce vapors harmful to humans," said Zane. "Try not to breathe much."

"No breathing? Oh, you never let us have any fun," said Jay bleakly.

"Ugh." Cole sighed. "Okay, let's move fast."

They dodged and wove their way through various workstations, evading a few workers creepily clad in gas masks. Eventually they were stymied by four workers all working together on a laser-etching machine, each of them facing a different direction.

"Gosh, how many workers does it take to run a laser machine?" grumbled Nya.

"C'mon, we can go this way!" whispered Jay, pointing.

They slipped into a quiet partitioned area off to one side. The others looked surprised to see large shallow pools of water set up all along its length.

"This I know," said Jay. "These are electro-plating baths!" He pointed at a large rack of hubcaps, which a machine was lifting out of the water. "They're using electricity to put a thin layer of metal on those hubcaps."

"Uh, and we're supposed to walk _through_ those?" said Lloyd. "Won't they put a thin layer of metal on _us?_ "

"Psh, nah. Not unless you hook yourself up to one of those wires pumping current through the water." Jay hopped down into the first pool to demonstrate. The water came halfway up to his knees. "This is a closed circuit. Electricity flows in through one wire, goes through this water that has a special salt dissolved in it, then flows out through another wire. As long as you don't make yourself more interesting to flow through than salty water, you're totally safe."

"And how would we become interesting, exactly?" said Cole uneasily.

"Well, you probably don't want to be touching land and water at the same time. So, uh, jump in with both feet, and jump out with both feet."

The others exchanged dubious looks. Jay resisted the urge to goad them on; he wanted to see if they'd follow him on trust alone. Eventually Nya shrugged and jumped down next to Jay, splashing slightly. Jay beamed at her.

"See? Not so bad."

Reassured, the others hopped down too.

"Feels kinda weird," said Lloyd, lifting one foot experimentally.

"Yeah, there's current running right around ya. Keep both feet in the water and take small steps." Feeling very pleased with his leadership abilities, Jay set out for the other side of the pool, skirting the various objects being chrome-plated.

They made it out of the first pool safely, jumping one by one. Jay hopped right down into the next pool and continued onwards.

"Uh, guys?" said Zane from the back. Jay turned around and muffled a yelp.

Zane was still standing on the thin strip of concrete between the two electro-plating pools, looking quizzically down at his feet. Halfway up to his knees, the metal was eaten away, grooved and pockmarked like melting ice.

"What happened?" gasped Nya.

"I thought you said it was safe!" snapped Kai. "What the heck is up with this water?" He scrambled up to join Zane on the concrete divider.

"It is safe, it is!" protested Jay. "For _us._ But not for titanium!"

"Since when is anything okay for humans and not for titanium?" said Cole. He hadn't yet joined Kai on the concrete, but he looked about to.

"I completely forgot, this water is full of metal salt," said Jay, raking back his hair as he examined the damage to Zane's feet. "Normally it's a chrome salt, which sucks chrome off an anode and dumps it onto the cathode. But it looks like it can also react with titanium . . . Gosh Zane, I'm sorry, I should have known . . . "

"It's not that bad," said Zane, never one to hand out blame. "The damage is cosmetic only, really. I still have working feet." He looked across the long stretch of electro-plating pools, frowning. "Although that may no longer be the case if I have to walk through all of these."

"Well, we're not leaving you here," said Nya. "A worker could come by any moment."

"Hey, no problem; I'll give ya a lift," said Cole, sloshing over.

"Woah, woahhhh, don't touch him," warned Jay. "You'll ground yourselves and get zapped. He'll have to jump."

"Jump _at_ me?" said Cole.

"This will be the death of both of you," said Kai.

"Got better ideas, smart alec?" said Jay impatiently.

Kai huffed, looking around. After a moment he grinned.

"Yeah, actually I do."

He reached over to the machine lowering racks of items into the water. On this particular rack there were what looked like plastic curtain rods.

"Doesn't conduct electricity, right?" said Kai, handing a pole to Zane. "Pole-vaulting."

Zane studied the pole for a moment, testing its strength. Then he shooed his falcon off his shoulder, held the pole out in front of him, backed up as far as the narrow ledge would let him, and vaulted neatly across, landing safely on the next ledge.

"That works nicely," he said with a smile. "Thank you."

"Welllll, what can I say, I'm the greatest," said Kai smugly, taking a pole for himself.

"Uh, Kai, I don't think you should—"

Kai made a decent effort, but halfway over the pool he ran out of momentum and fell with a splash.

"Spectacular," said Cole wryly, shaking himself off. "Truly."

"I tried to warn you," Zane told an irately dripping Kai. "You are not a Nindroid; your legs could not provide enough thrust without a running start."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," grumbled Kai, getting up. "Let's just go."

Zane vaulted quickly to the end of the electro-plating unit, then placed the pole on the nearest rack so it could be plated. He waited for the others to catch up and dry off their feet.

"Hmm, a lot of workers here," murmured Lloyd, peeking around the partition. "The offices are nearby, but this final stretch could be tricky . . . "

"Going up," said Cole, pointing at a metal stairway by the wall.

They clambered swiftly up to a high catwalk, keeping deathly silent. There was nothing to shield them from view up here; if any worker happened to glance up, they were doomed. Below them, plates of metal moved in strange irregular patterns, trails of steam rising from their surfaces as green liquid dripped from above. The smell was awful. Cole motioned to the others and slipped his mask on, and they quickly followed suit.

They worked their way carefully around several large canisters holding the etching acid. This catwalk was probably used for servicing these. Once they reached the other end of the walk, they were finally able to dive into the office complex of Building C.

"This better be worth it," sighed Jay.

"Keep alert," said Cole. "If you smell that vanilla smell again, turn the heck around."

As they headed forward, however, the only smell was the musty carpet scent most offices had.

"I hope they're not using something that's odorless," mumbled Jay.

They crept up the stairs, keeping their guard up in case there was an ambush.

"Assuming the layout here is the same as Building A, the large room should be here," said Zane. He led them to a doorway. It was locked; Nya fiddled with it for a second, tongue between her teeth. At last the lock clicked open and they all dove through.

The room was dark. Cole started to fumble for a lightswitch, but almost instantaneously Kai, Lloyd, and Jay's powers flared to life, illuminating the large space.

It was empty.

"Now what?" groaned Jay, as Kai swore under his breath.

"I don't know." Cole tousled back his hair, groaning softly. "There's nowhere else that would make sense, given what we know. Did we somehow get on the wrong track, get the wrong mining company?"

"There must be something else." Jay couldn't bring himself to believe this had all been a wild goose chase. "This has to be the right place, the . . . the offices were booby-trapped, remember? That's Technician business."

"But then where's this room they're using as a base?"

Zane was crouched down squinting at the carpet, sweeping his twin blue beams over the floor.

"I think I know," he said, looking up grimly. "There are dents and scuffs in the carpet, as if heavy tables stood here and boxes were slid back and forth. They must be recent—these marks disappear with time."

"So . . . they were just here," said Kai. "And they cleared the place out. Because they knew we were coming."

A heavy silence.

"Dammit," said Cole at last.

"I hope we're not in worse trouble." Kai was looking grimmer by the second. "If they were _that_ well-prepared for us, they must have known we would eventually find this room. This could just be the final stage of a trap."

Jay gulped. He thought back to all the intricate maneuvers they had done to get to this point. It was chilling to think those might all have been orchestrated by their enemies, carefully planned to herd them all to this very spot.

"M-maybe we should go." He hoped Nya didn't catch his voice skipping.

"We should totally go." Kai turned towards the door. His hand froze on the knob, however, and his eyes went wide.

"Kill the lights!" he barked in a whisper.

The room instantly went dark. As their ears strained, they picked up the sound of distant conversation, rough and muffled. Occasionally a sibiliant S wove its way through.

"I can hear it," whispered Zane. "A man and a snake, down on the first floor of the offices. The snake says he is coming up here to check if we're in the room."

"We need to get out." Jay couldn't see Kai in the dark, but the note of panic in the red ninja's voice made him shiver. "We need to get out of here right now."

"I don't think we can get out through the offices without being seen!" whispered Nya.

"Okay, listen. Split up. Test every office door, see if it's unlocked. When you find one, everyone go in there. Move!" Kai threw open the door and grabbed Zane's arm, dragging the Nindroid after him into the hall.

Everyone dove for a different office door, quietly wiggling the knobs to see if they gave. Jay's heart slammed into overdrive as none of the doors opened. The snake would be here any second. If they didn't find an unlocked door, they'd be here in the hall in plain sight.

Simultaneously Zane and Cole found unlocked doors. There was a split-second of indecision, then everyone dove for Cole's.

"Hold on!" Kai suddenly tore off down the hall, into a section they hadn't yet tested. He grabbed Nya on the way, pulling her with him, and plowed Jay in front of them both. Then just as abruptly he performed an about-face and dragged them all back towards the open office, finally shoving the door shut with them all safely inside.

"What the heck was that?!" demanded Cole in a fierce whisper.

"Mixed up our scents," said Kai. "We're on multiple doors and farther down the hall now. Now get into the ceiling!"

The ceiling here was made of tiles, supported on a plastic grid and not fastened down. It was a quick matter to stack on Cole's shoulders, push aside a tile, and help each other up into the space between the ceiling and the building's roof. They found beams to support their weight, put the tile back, and held still and silent as footsteps passed underneath them, nearby. The snake paused in the hallway, growling softly. Then there came a crunch of static, probably from a walkie-talkie.

"Be damned, they've headed through the offices, they mussst have gotten back into the factory. Mobilize all units, surround the building, guard every exit. They're not getting out of this place."

In the dim glow of Zane's eyes, Jay locked gazes with Kai. The others picked up on the sudden spike in the tension.

 _Nash?_ mouthed Cole. Kai nodded tersely. Jay shuddered, remembering the snake's hot breath in his face, his fangs dripping with venom. Kai's hand was tight around his sister's arm, and he kept both Nya and Lloyd herded behind him, as if Nash would burst in through the ceiling any moment and snatch them away.

Down below, Nash was still growling orders.

"Stay alert for the girl's mech, it's known to have remote sssummons. If you see it coming, shoot it down. Send a squad to search inside the factory, but be ssssparing, you dig? It's more important we don't have gaps in the siege lines. They _can't get out._ "

The staticky choosh of the reply drifted off down the hall.

"Crud," muttered Cole. Nya was already trying to wriggle her arm loose from Kai's grip, but he didn't even seem to be aware he was still holding on.

"We should've just jumped him," hissed the Samurai, exasperated. "I mean, I know he's hot stuff and all that, but come on, there's six of us."

"Yeah, believe me." Kai snorted. "There wouldn't be six of us for _long._ He can throw a knife into a running target's throat at twenty paces."

"I don't even want to know where you got that knowledge . . . "

"Let's just move through the ceiling as long as we can," said Lloyd, beginning to wriggle forward on his stomach through the narrow space. "We'll stay hidden that way."

"And then what? You heard him! They're going to surround this place!" whispered Jay. "If we're trapped in here, it's only a matter of time till they find us."

"Well, I doubt they're guarding the roof," said Lloyd with a grim smile. "If we can get out there, we still have a chance."

The others exchanged anxious glances. Finally Zane's falcon chirped softly and began to hop along behind Lloyd, waddling over the framework of ceiling tiles. One by one the others followed.

* * *

 **A/N: I was originally gonna split this one just after they passed out, to make more chapters, but this thing is dragging on long enough as it is . . . *eyes dwindling chapter buffer* Eep.**

 **Always some Ninjago news, though! I'm cracking up at the new image they've posted for the big Ninjago movie. This is gonna be awesome.**


	65. I Accidentally the Robots

**Happy Valentine's Day! Hope some chocolates are coming your way. ^_^**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Heh, good for you. If it's anything like The LEGO Movie, they'll have reason to thank you. :P Hope your exam went well, by the way!**

 **TheAmberShadow: Yeah, I saw that was a thing! I'm debating with myself about watching it. Ooh, did you see that Rift passage with all different Airjitzu colors? Cool stuff.  
Yeahhhh, Kai really didn't think that one through. He's just very eager to take his shirt off at the first excuse. :P  
One of my friends headcanons that the falcon sees itself as Zane's big brother even though it's younger, and I'd believe it. :3  
That was one angry falcon, let me tell you. XD  
We'll see! Thanks for the review. **

**Angel Star Ninja: The ninja aren't allowed to have an easy time with anything. Says so right in the handbook. ;)**

 **LiaLia15: Thanks muchly! Hmm, you've tried resetting your password, right?  
Oh, there's a whole complicated hierarchy of protectiveness in that team. Officially the next-older-up is responsible for the next younger, but there's a lot of extra variables thrown in. Zane is both oldest and youngest, so he's responsible for Cole at the same time Lloyd is responsible for him. Kai is a longtime older sibling who is experienced with smols, so he expanded his responsibility to Lloyd as well as Nya. The falcon looks out for Zane, and Misako looks out for Lloyd. Sensei Wu looks out for whoever is having the gravest crisis at the moment. Generalized madness! It works great.**

 **Zaptrap: Well, here you go then! ;)**

 **Jens: Every cliff in Ninjago is festooned with hanging chapters! XP Yep, Nash probably has all the bases covered . . .  
That's a really cool thought! I hadn't been explicitly planning on any dragon savagery, but that would be so neat. I'll have to see if I can fit it in somewhere.  
Heh, really, is that what it means? Cool. I'd always thought its name just meant that destiny was being very generous by giving this ship to its owners.**

 **Guest: Hi there! No worries, and thanks! ^_^  
Ah, I was gonna put Nash in this chapter, but it made things too complicated. He'll dig his claws in elsewhere, tho.**

 **Monranr: I know, isn't he just the cutest little scruffy thing?! My favorite is Lloyd, though. Lloyd the angry stringbean. So angry. So beany. With a beautiful dregon! XD  
I saw someone on Tumblr saying that Zane might eat your soul. That's the most gloriously accurate description ever. XD**

 **Anonymoose: Oh, hullo there! Hope this meets your expectations, then. :) Heh, okay, Silica prediction duly noted!**

 **Anonymous7: Aw, thanks very much! Updates every Tuesday for now. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sep 24**

 **11:20 PM**

 **Status conditions: Zane with light external damage**

* * *

Hearts in throats, the ninja snuck back down into the factory. Zane said there should be an access staircase to the roof somewhere near the electro-plating baths.

They'd been worried that the place would be full of alert Technicians now, but actually it seemed safer than before. The workers who had originally blocked their path were now scurrying around, shutting off machinery and gathering equipment, while a lone Technician stomped around growling for them to hurry it up. Silently, swiftly, the ninja headed back up onto the catwalk, again weaving around the canisters of etching acid.

They were almost at the end of the catwalk when things went rapidly downhill. As Cole stepped onto the next section of mesh floor, the entire construct suddenly gave a heavy creak. As everyone froze, the metal pole holding up the edge of the catwalk fell away. It swung majestically down and hit the floor with a deafening clatter. All the workers on the ground floor jumped and looked directly up at the ninja.

"Oh snap," muttered Cole.

Which is exactly what the catwalk did one second later. Cole jumped ahead, grabbing the edge of the next stable section; the others scrambled back as best they could. The only one standing in the middle of the collapsing section was Zane.

At the last second the Nindroid grabbed at a jutting support bar, halting his fall. He scrabbled with his feet, trying to find purchase on the smooth wall.

"Zane!" yelped Lloyd, extending one hand. The Nindroid reached, but couldn't quite bridge the distance; he nearly lost his grip on the bar with his other hand. The falcon circled his head hysterically.

"It's not that bad a fall for me, go!" he called, waving the others away. "Scatter before more of them get here!"

"We're not leaving you," said Lloyd. "Quick, someone hold onto me, and I'll—"

He was cut off by a high-pitched whine and a _bang!_ A hole appeared in the metal-plated wall right by Lloyd's arm.

"Go!" gasped Zane. "You are _not_ bulletproof!"

Lloyd hesitated a moment longer, but Jay grabbed his arm and dragged him down to the catwalk as another bullet whizzed overhead. They all dove in various directions, sliding down support poles, leaping onto machinery, finding individual nooks to hide in before any more Technicians with guns showed up.

Jay hurled himself under an etching machine and slithered forward on his stomach, working himself far enough forward to see Zane. He bit down on his fingers nervously. The Nindroid was struggling to hook his arm over the support bar for a better hold. The gun barked again, and Jay's breath caught as Zane fell, crashing halfway onto a conveyor belt and flipping back with a crack of skull against floor. That would have killed a human.

Zane, at least, was not fully out. He stirred, his head wagging dazedly as he tested each limb.

"Don't move."

Jay nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn't realized that the Technician wielding the gun was right by the etching machine where he was hiding. Teeth gritted, he twisted around, trying to see the man. Could he dive out and tackle him fast enough?

He looked back to Zane. The Nindroid was pushing himself to his feet, leaning one hand on the wall, his expression defiant.

"Fire all you want. Bullets do little damage to me."

"I'm not necessarily talking bullets," retorted the Technician.

Zane and Jay's eyes simultaneously followed the angle of the gun's barrel. It was pointed not at Zane, but at one of the canisters of etching acid above him.

"They're not all that sturdy, pal," said the Technician. "One shot and you'll be taking a very hot shower."

Zane set his jaw, his eyes flicking back and forth. Surrounded by machinery, he had few clear chances to throw himself to safety. From under the etching machine, Jay wriggled desperately closer to the Technician, yanking his gi loose as it caught on the gears above. Thank goodness the thing wasn't running.

Suddenly there was a scream. Zane's falcon shot in from overhead, digging its claws into the Technician's head. When he gave a yell and swatted it loose, it began to circle him, beating its wings and screeching furiously all the while.

Zane seemed dazed for a moment. Then he vaulted over the nearest conveyor belt and scrambled to a safe distance. Seconds later a stray shot struck the etching acid, sending a deluge of corrosive green liquid vomiting from the canister. Machinery hissed and steamed, dissolving under the spreading spatter of acid. Jay struggled not to cough at the fumes.

Meanwhile Zane was heading for the Technician, intending to rescue his falcon, but the bird flew away of its own accord when it saw Zane was safe. Cursing, the Technician dashed a trickle of blood from his forehead and snatched up his rifle. A crack, and suddenly the falcon whirled in midair, one wing flopping loose. With a shrill cry, it plummeted directly into the deluge of etching acid.

"No!" cried Zane.

Jay plunged out of hiding and grabbed Zane's arm, dragging him back. He honestly wasn't sure if the Nindroid wouldn't have dived straight into the acid otherwise.

"Zane, no buddy," he panted. "Wait!"

He followed Zane's gaze and flinched when he saw the falcon lying in the spreading green pool. There was nothing left but a bubbling, steaming mass, surrounded by a few stray floating feathers. It twitched as if in agony, sparking.

"Gosh Zane, I'm sorry," said Jay softly. Zane said nothing, his eyes still fixed on the falcon's dissolving remains.

Then another shot rang out. Jay yelped and leaped aside as a bullet pinged into the ground by his feet. Zane seemed to snap out of his daze.

"Run!" he shouted, pushing Jay away. Jay really was in no position to argue. He leaped over a conveyor belt and dove for cover, his heart pounding in his ears as he heard the gunman clattering after him.

It took forever to lose him. Somehow Jay knew where he could find the others: he stumbled back to the electro-plating pools. Cole and Kai were already there.

"Where are the others?" Kai's jaw was tight. Jay shook his head despairingly. Nya came limping in just then, her hair on one side matted down with blood.

"Hoooly—" gasped Jay.

"It's a bleeder, a bleeder," said Nya, waving impatiently. "We need to find the others and get out of here. I heard more Technicians coming in through one of the side doors, and they're up to something."

"What I'd give for our communicators right now," growled Cole under his breath.

They had barely ducked out to begin searching for Zane and Lloyd when the latter barrelled straight into them.

"Guys." Lloyd was panting, his eyes wild. "Guys, help. Zane—"

Following Lloyd, they found the Nindroid sprawled next to a wire-spooling machine, motionless. He bore numerous dents and pockmarks from gunfire; one leg was almost completely detached. His eyes were open, but dark.

"Zane, oh my gosh." Jay slid to a halt on his knees, already fumbling with the Nindroid's front panel. The others gathered in a tense circle, Nya crouching at Jay's side.

"His mask is on," said Kai. "He went down fighting."

"But what happened?" asked Cole. "You can't _kill_ a Nindroid . . . can you?"

"His insides are fine." Jay closed Zane's panel with shaky hands. "I—I don't know what's wrong. I'd have to look closer, check his other panels—"

"Not now," said Cole. "First we have to get out of here. Where's his falcon?"

"It's—gone." Jay gulped. "It fell into the etching acid."

"Oh my gosh," whispered Nya.

Lloyd attempted to shut Zane's eyes. They wouldn't. Grimacing, he stood up and swung Zane onto his back, bringing the Nindroid's arms over his shoulders to hold him steady.

"I'll—" began Cole, but Lloyd shook his head vehemently.

"I'm next-older-up, he's my responsibility."

Cole rolled his eyes, but let him have his point.

They scurried back to the electro-plating pools. Stealthily moving a group of six people, one of them unconscious on another's back, was not easy. A couple of times Jay could have sworn they passed through someone's line of sight. But somehow, they made the trip without picking up any pursuers.

"What do we do once we're on the roof?" whispered Kai as they hurried along. "They'd shoot down our dragons, but the _Bounty_ is almost two miles away. What if Sensei and Misako don't see signal flares?"

"I'm summoning the Samurai X mech right now," said Nya, mashing a button on her bracelet. "When they see it starting out, they'll know something's up."

"But will they know to follow it?"

"I _really_ miss our communicators," groaned Cole.

"Communicators are the least of it. Coming here was a bad idea in the first place," said Kai.

Behind them there was a shout.

"Shooooooooooot," muttered Jay as they all swung around. A group of Technicians came barrelling towards them, waving both peculiar and familiar weapons.

"Go, move!" Kai shouted, herding the others onwards. Turning back, he swept a wave of fire across the floor, barring the path. Then he dove to catch up.

"It'll only last a couple seconds, but it'll buy us a little time," he said.

"Come on, that way!" said Jay, pointing around a stand of machinery. They ducked and wove on a twisty track through the factory, searching desperately for a staircase to the roof.

"There!" cried Nya. A long metal-mesh staircase led all the way up to the ceiling. Some cables and mechanisms were bolted into the ceiling tiles.

"Are you sure that's it?" said Cole.

"Only one way to find out!" Kai headed for the stairs. On the very first step, however, he went down with a crash.

"Oh, for—" He sat up, pressing a hand to his bleeding chin. "They've greased the stairs!"

"Well, that means there's _something_ important up there," said Cole grimly.

"A lot of good it does us, we can't climb those!" said Kai. "It's that Shleesh stuff they used in the office building, isn't it?"

"Wait, wait, I did research on this," said Jay. "After we broke in there and the police chief asked how to remove Shleesh. This stuff burns!"

"Ohhh, well then!" Kai wasted no time in tossing a fireball at the staircase. It flared up in a promising fashion and spread into a circle of flame . . . but after that it didn't really do anything impressive. The flames progressed slowly upwards, but it would definitely take several minutes just to clear a couple of steps.

"Well . . . it doesn't burn _fast_ ," said Jay ruefully.

"Okay, we don't have this kind of time." Cole looked over his shoulder as some howling broke out nearby. Clearly they'd been found again. "We _definitely_ don't have this kind of time! Lloyd, give me Zane."

The green ninja hesitated, but at last nodded and carefully shrugged the Nindroid off into Cole's grasp. Then he backed up and spun his kusarigama, throwing it to wrap around the railing of the platform high overhead. Luckily it held—the railing up there must not have been coated in Shleesh. Hopefully the floor wasn't either.

As Lloyd rapidly hand-over-handed his way up the chain, the others backed together to defend against the approaching Technicians.

" _Please_ tell us there's a door up there, Lloyd!" Jay hollered, dodging a dagger.

"There is! There is!" Lloyd shouted. "And there's a factory whistle too! We can set it off to call the _Bounty!_ "

"Are you crazy?!" yelped Jay. "That thing will alert the entire Gisher _complex_ about our location!"

"Right now, that is really not going to add much to our problems," said Cole, sounding harried. "Do it!"

Lloyd nodded and scrambled to grab a long rope that trailed up through the ceiling. When tugging produced no effect, he leaned back and threw his entire weight against the rope. It lurched and gave, triggering a rich, deafening _a-whooOOOOOOoooo!_ directly overhead. If the situation had been any less dire, Jay would have been pretty jealous.

Nya was already scrabbling up the kusarigama chain, urged on by Kai.

"You next Cole, you're the only one who can carry Zane with you," said the fire ninja. "We'll hold out okay as long as a lot more of these guys don't show up!"

Cole looked none too happy about not being the last to leave, but he didn't want to put Zane in (further) danger by staying.

"Cover me," he said, and grabbed hold of the chain. Jay grimaced, hoping it held. The weight of the team's two heaviest together might be a bit much.

The number of attackers had dropped significantly as the ninja knocked them out or disarmed them, but a few reinforcements were arriving now and then. A couple of them had wheeled in a pile driver, but luckily the bolts—while devastating if they hit—were pretty easy to dodge as long as you noticed the machine winding up.

"Hurry up guys!" shouted Cole from overhead. Kai jerked his head towards the chain. Jay gave a protesting huff, but went first. Nya and Lloyd had already taken Zane out onto the roof, and Cole was waiting for Kai to start climbing. The fire ninja hastily knocked aside a Technician trying to ascend and began to clamber up.

"They're fetching ladders!" he said breathlessly as Cole hauled him over the railing. "Let's go!"

They could already hear the clatter of ladders hitting the platform's railing as they joined the others on the roof. Nya was supporting Zane, while Lloyd sent up blazing green flares to attract the _Bounty's_ attention.

"We're about to have company!" called Jay.

"Hang in there just a little longer! I can see the _Bounty's_ lights!"

Cole looked around, then drew his scythe and smashed open a rooftop propane tank. Kai waited for the fuel to gush across a large portion of the roof, then set it on fire, creating a blazing patch between them and the door. There were already Technicians pouring through, however, and it only took them a little longer to go around the fire.

"Stop the flares Lloyd, they can see us _now,_ " yelled Kai. "Help us out here!"

They backed together again, defending themselves and Zane from the increasing press of opponents.

"Where's your mech, Nya?" shouted Cole above the noise. "You could at least get Zane out of here!"

"I don't know, it won't summon!" said Nya, mashing the "call" button on her bracelet. "They must have shot it down, or—"

There was a thud and clatter from down below, and suddenly Nya's mech burst over the edge of the roof like a breaching whale. It crashed over onto its side, battered and dented, shedding a few Technicians still clinging to its hull and battering at it with crowbars.

"Heyyyy, you leave my mech alone!" Nya broke from formation to fight off the vandals. Once she'd cleared them away, she gave the suit a quick once-over and hoisted it upright.

"Steering's smashed. I can only fly it straight up. Look out!"

Kai dodged a gunshot.

"Where's the _Bounty_ , dangit?"

Jay was being pressed pretty hard from all sides, but he glanced up just long enough to spot the ship's black hulking form, its lights now extinguished, barrelling towards them in a dim glow of rocket boosters. Machine gun fire barked from below.

"Heads up, she's coming in!" shouted Cole hoarsely.

The ship had no time to maneuver close to the roof; instead the anchor came plummeting down, smashed against the rooftop, and began to drag away across the building.

"Catch it!" shouted Jay. Dragging Zane with them as best they could, they piled aboard the anchor's prongs or scrambled up its chain. Immediately it began to retract, swinging them high above the roof and the hordes of Technicians. Jay shut his eyes and clung tight to the center post as gunshots pinged around them. A wash of suffocating heat—they must have passed over the inferno of burning propane—then the rattle of the anchor chain cranking in drew closer, right above their heads. One by one they scrambled over the railing of the _Bounty_ and collapsed on the deck, falling into a battered tangle. The Samurai X mech slammed down next to them a few seconds later.

Dizzy from exhaustion and the swinging ascent, Jay lifted his head. Beyond the _Bounty'_ s railing he could see the flaming roof of Gisher Building C, drawing steadily farther away. Tiny dark figures ran back and forth in front of the flames. Even at this distance they looked angry.

"Are you all here? Are you all right?" Sensei Wu materialized from the winchroom, his hat askew.

"Not all of us," said Cole.

One by one they began to pick themselves up. Now it became clear that Zane wasn't moving.

"What happened?" Sensei's expression darkened.

"We don't know. We got separated."

"Let's get him inside," said Nya. "We need to look him over in the light."

They took Zane to the control room, where a frazzled Misako was handling the wheel. Nya stepped over to help set the ship to autopilot, now that they were out of danger, then joined Jay kneeling at Zane's side.

What had seemed impossibly complex back in the factory now took less than a minute to diagnose. Nya gave a muffled cry as soon as she opened the panel in the back of Zane's head.

"His neural drive—it's gone!"

"What? What does that even mean?" asked Kai. Everyone huddled in to look. Even a layman could see there was a gaping empty slot where something should be plugged in.

"That's . . . that's his entire _brain_ ," said Jay. "Like a central processor. Everything that makes him think and feel—it has to flow through there."

"And now it's gone?" said Kai. "It can't be just gone!"

"Can you replace it?" asked Lloyd shakily.

"This isn't like a laptop Lloyd, you can't just switch out processors," snapped Jay, impatient with panic. "This is _Zane._ You might as well switch humans' brains! There was nothing like that neural drive, even—even I didn't have a clue how it worked, I never touched it, it was too advanced. Too important."

"And . . . now they've taken it," said Nya.

Nobody said anything. For a while they just all sat or stood where they were, looking at the battered, salt-corroded remains of their teammate. He wasn't unconscious.

He was the Nindroid equivalent of brain-dead.


	66. Y'all Ain't Gonna Get No Sleep 'cos'a Me

**So many guest reviews! You guys. ^_^''**

 **Jens: Heh, thanks! Yeah, I can imagine that would be uncomfortable for anything longer than 100 words or so. XD  
Welllllll, that acid is . . . pretty strong stuff, so . . . uh . . . um. *anxious smile*  
Heh, well physically he's the youngest ninja (Titanium form, that is), so actually he has ALL the older brothers. And he's mentally/spiritually the oldest ninja, so he also has ALL the little brothers. And he's simultaneously twins with everyone for good measure. He is a very confused Nindroid. XD  
Lloyd's still furry for now, but before long he'll have to graduate to a new adjective. I have some ideas he'll dislike. }:]** **  
Hehe. Is that a pickup line? It should totally be a writers' pickup line. XD  
Regarding Backstage, there really are people who react to coffee that way! Maybe not that dramatically, but they do get hyper and very easily-amused.  
And regarding "WCtt Bowman," I saw it! Thank you soooooooooo much, you're too sweet. I can't even. ^_^'' Heh, you know, it's not really my doing; these ninja bugs have so much squishy happiness built in, it makes my job easy. :3  
Oooh, and I heard you had a birthday the other day! Hope it was great. :)  
**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Reverse Titanium Ninja, if I may! Last time the body was destroyed but the brain survived. Thiiiiiiiis time . . .  
Thanks for the review on "Everything Wrong With," by the way!  
**

 **TheAmberShadow: Well yes, yes I did. Man, I didn't know the birdie had that large a fan following, until now.  
Nindroid brain-snatching is a complicated subject, let's say.  
Yeah, that's her! ^_^  
Hoooo yeah, I've seen it! And yeah, I like the green eyes. Every time I see the kid I end up singing the Coldplay song "Green Eyes" for the next half-hour. And cackling. :P  
I dunno, I bet they just totally redesigned the characters for the movie. At first I was kinda, "holy crow, what did they do to everyone?!", but since the movie is in a different universe I really don't mind that much. And then I was drawing some of the new designs on Valentines, and I realized that hot dang, the movie designs are actually really awesome. I have zero artistic judgment, but there's just something really _solid_ about the new designs. They look like actual humans in LEGO form, and next to them the show designs look like . . . well, just LEGOs.  
As to the theory, uh . . . hmm. Wait, why do we need the Cursed Realm to survive again? ^_^''  
Annnd thanks very much for the review on "Everything Wrong With," since I can't reply on there anymore! Heh, no, that actually wasn't on purpose. And Destiny Willowleaf gave me the idea to make up bloopers explaining Mindroid's absence. And no, he doesn't own a lantern company! He stole all of those. :P Lloyd doesn't have a season shirt because back then their seasons weren't as deadly. Zane doesn't have a season shirt because he didn't survive!  
**

 **LiaLia15: Aww, thanks, that's very sweet. ^_^ Heh, but I worry if this was a book, it'd have to be released in encyclopedic form . . .  
Well, he's not like, super-dead. Theoretically he'd be fine if they could just put the neural drive back in. Which, uh . . . well.  
Thanks very much again! Good luck with that password reset! :) Or, uh . . . well, since you were guest reviewing on the "Everything Wrong With" (thanks for that, by the way), I'm guessing the reset didn't work?**

 **Zaptrap: Oh man, why is everyone being so nice to me today? ^_^'' Thanks so much for the kind words. Y'know, the results are sorted by "relevance," so it's probably just a matter of me not saying "Jay" and "Ninjago" enough times in this story. I could look into posting a chapter that consists entirely of "JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY," but that seems a little excessive. :P  
Heh, I have no objection to cynicism, you're fine. ^_^ Glad you're enjoying!**

 **Greenninjaisbae: Oh my. XD Hey, so glad to hear that! Congratulations. ^_^**

 **Guest: Haha, my prompt line is when he says "You are not bulletproof." Although the song never mentioned if titanium is resistant to brain-snatching. :P  
Heh, glad you liked the chapter! We'll see about that poor kid.  
Thanks very much! **

**anonymoose: Oof, you're a hard one to snow. ;) Yeah, Zane's goose was cooked the minute they decided to go in there. Kai's not safe yet, though. No one is safe. }:]  
Well yeah, Silica's a savvy tech gal. There's enough news and video of the ninja that she was able to figure out a fair bit about how Zane works (especially since reporters and interviewers are always asking Zane about his innards, and the topic of neural drives came up a lot because of PIXAL). I don't think she could actually reprogram him, though, not in his new Titanium form. It's a lot easier to pull a hard drive out of a laptop than to know how to program one.**

 **Monranr: Real indeed! Real dead. :/**

 **I dunno XD: Good username. ;) Hope you see this! Thanks for the review on "Backstage." Awww, now how could anyone dislike the crazy little bucket of disaster and good intentions that is Lloyd? Heh, but I'm glad I could change your mind. :)**

 **Fire Oreo: Thanks muchly! Hehe, my goal in this game is to make everyone like everyone. It's my secret evil plan. :P Cole's one of my favorites too! And Lloyd. (And don't tell anyone, but that Jay's starting to grow on me. He's such a little tuff truck since Skybound. X3)**

 **Guest 2: Thanks! Well, we'll see. Consequences might be hard to bring . . .**

* * *

 **Sep 25**

 **12:02 AM**

 **Status conditions: Nya lightly wounded, Zane destroyed**

* * *

It was quiet on the _Bounty_ for a long time afterwards. Jay stared out the window, watching the flaming roof of Building C as it became a tiny speck in the distance, then as it disappeared into the darkness. He kept staring.

The aliens were uneasy with the choking atmosphere in the room. They circled from one person to another, getting only an absent-minded pat at the very most. Eventually they advanced to Zane, gingerly patting the Nindroid's dented surface, looking concerned. Nobody interfered.

"How could they just take his entire _brain?_ " Kai seemed to still be in denial. "Don't tell me that everything that made him Zane was on some stupid drive _this_ big!"

"It's not like our brains." Jay shook his head tiredly. "We do all our thinking and memory-holding in one lump of gray stuff. Zane's neural drive was more like . . . like a TV." He felt bad for using such a frivolous example, but it was the only thing he could think of. "You have a TV, and you can plug in a VCR and a DVD player and a cable antenna and a bunch of video game consoles. And the TV lets you use all of them. You take away the TV, and having a VCR or game controller is pretty much useless."

"So what you're getting at is? . . . "

"He's still _there_ ," said Jay. "Sort of. His memories are probably stored somewhere else. All the stuff he knows how to do is probably still stockpiled in there. Heck, even his funny switch is in his chest panel. But without the neural drive to call up stuff and put it in action . . . well, it's all useless. It's like having a ton of CDs and no CD player."

Kai eyed the motionless Nindroid, looking disturbed.

"That's even worse."

"Can we do anything?" asked Cole. "If his memories and stuff are still in there, and all he's missing is the . . . connector thingy . . . you could build a new one of _those_ , couldn't you?"

"I don't know." Jay exchanged a look with Nya and winced, then squared his shoulders as if it would give him determination. "We're sure gonna try."

Crouching beside Zane, he tried again to close the Nindroid's sightless eyes. Again they wouldn't. He grimaced and looked across at Lloyd, who was still sitting by Zane's side, wearing a shattered expression.

"You okay?" murmured Cole, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I should have stayed with him," said Lloyd. "I was supposed to look out for him . . . I failed."

"It wasn't your fault. We all had to take cover."

"We only just got him back," said Lloyd softly. Cole sighed.

"I know. We got carried away with the information, and we acted too fast. We really shouldn't have gone in there without communicators."

"We shouldn't have gone in there at all," said Nya. "We should have left when we saw they'd set traps for us."

"They set traps for _Zane._ "

Everyone turned to Kai. They were startled to see he wore a twisted smile.

"I just figured it out," he said. "There was a walkway only Zane could cross safely. Sleeping gas that didn't affect him. Weirdly large numbers of night workers, forcing us to walk through places where only Zane could go, or couldn't go."

"They wanted to separate him from us," whispered Nya.

"Yep. That was the plan all along."

"And we fell for it."

The silence was broken by a sudden _beep beep beep beep!_ Everyone started.

"Email." Nya stumbled to her feet and went to fumble with a few buttons, her mind clearly elsewhere. When her eyes lifted to the screen, however, her hand froze over the controls.

"Guys," she said. "The subject line is 'About Zane'."

A jolt seemed to go through the entire room.

"What? What does it say?!"

Everyone flooded around the computer as Nya clicked on the email, her eyes wide. It was surprisingly lengthy.

 _Hey guys;_

 _Okay, I'm sure you've probably figured this out by now, but your friend's brain is gone. We had to taze him a little to take it out safely, but don't worry, both him and his brain are totally fine. Just not in the same general location anymore. Sorry about the bullet damage._

 _Crazy as it sounds, this is for your own good. You've probably noticed by now that one of my business partners is a little . . . savage. He'll take any excuse to kill you guys, and with you constantly barging in and interfering, well, it's really hard to convince him otherwise._

 _That's where Zane's brain comes in. It's a hostage, really. I've got it locked up in a safe place, and if you guys just chill out and leave us alone, I promise I'll return his brain safely when all of this is over._

 _On the other hand, if you keep bothering us—especially if you come here trying to steal the brain back—I'm gonna have to destroy it. I'm not joking, palio's. Sledgehammer straight to it. Not to mention my partner's gonna try to slit your throats, and honestly I'm getting tired enough that I might just let him._

 _Anyways. That's the deal. You're welcome. And also I just spent an entire email talking about stealing brains like a character out of some old B-movie, so geez, thanks for that._

 _Silica_

Nya had barely finished reading before the room exploded into questions.

"What even is this? Who's it from?"

"Is it true? Do you think they're lying?

"How did they get our email address?"

"Does this mean we can get the drive back?"

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!" Nya was already typing frantically in another window, her teeth gritted. She gave a frustrated growl when she saw the results. "It's a disposable email address! It sends one email and self-destructs. I can't trace it."

She rattled away at the keyboard, copy-pasting the email to a document, then suddenly plowed across the room and slammed the Off button on the _Bounty'_ s router.

"Until we have a better idea of what's going on, I'm taking us offline," she said. "If they can get our email address and knew we were going to Gisher, who _knows_ what else they have access to."

"So what do we do now?" asked Jay anxiously.

"Isn't it obvious?" said Kai. "Zane's drive-thingy is still out there somewhere. We have to get it back!"

"Are you crazy?" said Cole. "We have no idea where they're keeping the drive. If we start making random raids to find it, they'll be able to destroy it _way_ before we can get to it."

"But—"

"Besides, we do not even know if they're telling the truth," said Wu quietly. "I don't like the thought of this any more than you do, but . . . the drive may already be destroyed. They may be threatening us with an illusion."

It was quiet for a bit.

"But we can't just do nothing," said Kai. "We—we can't just sit here. Even besides just Zane! This Silica person is asking us to leave them _totally alone_. Are we just going to sit here and let the Technicians win?"

"No, no we're not." Cole drew in a deep breath. "Ninjago comes first. We all know that this job involves risking our lives to protect this place. Maybe Zane knew that better than anyone."

"Are you kidding?!"

"You are NOT just saying we're going to leave him—!"

"No, we're not! Let me finish!" Cole held up his hands. "In the long run, we're going to have to keep fighting the Technicians, whether we get Zane's drive back or not. But first, we're gonna do _everything_ in our power to get it back. But that also means we _don't_ do something stupid and get the drive destroyed at the first opportunity. We need a plan."

"Such as?" said Kai bitterly.

"It would help if we knew where they're keeping it," said Nya, eager to soothe the tense, desperate atmosphere. "Searching for it in every single Technician base would take forever and get us caught fast. Running a targeted stealth mission—that we can do."

"But how do you plan to find it?" said Kai. "Ask Silica?"

"Silica isn't the only person who knows where it is." Lloyd's eyes were wide with realization. "Somebody besides Silica had to—had to attack Zane." He swallowed. "Some random Technicians took his neural drive out. They probably delivered it straight to Silica. If we can find one of them, we can ask _them_ where they took it. That would narrow it down a lot, wouldn't it?"

"Sure, sure," said Kai. "Only how are we supposed to find whichever random worker knocked out Zane? That's even harder than finding Silica—at least with her we have a specific name!"

"You're really good at coming up with objections," said Nya impatiently. "I don't see you making any suggestions of your own."

"Well I have to speak up if there's a flaw in the plan. What, you want me to just nod and go along with it while you screw Zane over?"

"Listen, we want to save him just as much as you do! You think we don't?"

"I don't know, with the kind of plans I'm hearing, I'm starting to wonder!"

"Oh yeah? Let's hear _yours_ , but maybe not the one that involves Silica taking a sledgehammer to Zane's neural drive, unless that's what you're after—"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

" _Everyone_ shut up, all right?!" Lloyd had a surprising capacity to outshout everyone else. The others fell silent.

"I don't feel like watching history repeat itself," said Lloyd. "This team fell apart over Zane once already. You think he'd want it to happen again?"

"Exactly," said Wu, taking the opportunity to speak now that nobody was hollering. "At times like this, we need to support one another, not cause each other more pain. We must unite if we are going to save Zane."

Some guilty faces. Cole took a deep breath, let it out, and reached over to ruffle Lloyd's hair.

"Relax, green machine. We're not going anywhere. Sensei's right, we need to pull together right now."

"But there's still problems," said Kai. He looked a little sulky. "We still don't know how to find anyone who'd have information on where they're keeping Zane's neural drive."

"There's one person who'd know," said Jay. All eyes turned to him. He swallowed, setting his jaw.

"Zane. Zane would know. If we could somehow get the memory out of him . . . Or get him running just enough to tell us who attacked him . . . "

"Can you even do that?" Cole stole an uneasy glance at the motionless wreck of a Nindroid. Jay huffed grimly.

"Do I have a choice?"

* * *

Jay snorted and awoke, lifting his head from the tabletop. They had taken Zane into Nya's workroom at 2 AM, and everyone had expressed strong disinterest in sleeping. By now it was almost dawn, and everyone seemed to have passed out. Jay included.

He rubbed his eyes, looking around. Sensei was dozing in a corner, or perhaps just meditating. Lloyd had fallen asleep with his head on Kai's shoulder, while Kai was resting his head against Lloyd's mop of golden curls. Misako was sleeping sitting up on Nya's bed, her arms wrapped around a pillow. Nya herself had passed out on the floor, slouched against the table leg, a screwdriver dangling from her fingers. Meep was nestled next to Misako, Mopp with Lloyd.

Zane sat on the chair where he'd been placed, his eyes blank, unblinking. Jay shivered. Being the only one awake in this room was creepy.

He stood, muffling a groan as his spine cracked, and soft-shoed out to collect an armful of blankets. On the way he passed by the kitchen and found Cole asleep at the kitchen table, his head on his arms and a nearly-empty tub of melted ice cream next to him.

"Stress eater," muttered Jay. He draped a blanket over Cole's shoulders, then gave him a pat because he seemed so lonely out here in the kitchen by himself. Also because it was five-something AM after two hours of sleep and his thought processes made zero sense right now and screw everything.

He went to the workroom and carefully wrapped everyone else up in blankets as well. He was extra-gentle with Nya. She looked so stressed, even in her sleep. He transferred a kiss from his fingertips to her temple, then gently tucked her hair behind her ear. It was still flecked with blood—they hadn't been able to bandage her scalp.

Kai and Lloyd were inseparable and thus had to share a blanket. Kai stirred and lifted his head, his eyes blinking open.

"'ey. Tell her to get out of here."

Jay, who had already turned away, started and turned back.

"Wha? Who?"

"The woman made of blood," said Kai, and fell back asleep. Jay looked at him for a while.

"I don't want to know," he said at last. He took the last blanket and looked to Zane, shivering again at the Nindroid's glassy stare. He'd been meaning to go back to sleep himself with this last blanket, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to drift off knowing those empty eyes were watching him. He considered for a moment, then crept hesitantly up to the Nindroid and wrapped the blanket around him instead. Not like it made any difference, but it made him feel a little better.

He stepped back, looking around for some wires. Gotta keep trying to figure something out . . .

Suddenly there was a soft whispering sound. Jay paused, wondering if he'd imagined it.

It came again, louder. A sharp _chsss._ Then silence.

"Zane?" Jay's voice skipped unintentionally. He eyed the derelict Nindroid. Did he just . . . twitch? Was that his imagination?

 _ChssssshshshshshAK!_

Jay jumped back, everything inside him clenching up in terror. The sound was definitely coming from Zane. He had no right to be making any noises now. He had no brain to make noises with.

"Z-Zane?" Jay backed away slowly, his heart pounding. Around him the others slept on, oblivious. More bursts of muffled static tumbled from the Nindroid's brainless shell, and suddenly the blanket slipped off him. Jay's breath caught. He was backing up faster now, without even realizing it, his eyes fixed on the motionless Nindroid.

The static merged into eerie, garbled, tortured noises. Jay tripped on a toolbox and went sprawling backwards into a box of blueprints. The sudden fall sent him into a brief panic, scrabbling back on his elbows as the mangled electronic sounds rose to a crescendo—

—And then they stopped. Silence. Jay stayed frozen, panting.

Then a soft pop of speakers.

"H-hello?" The voice was soft and feminine. Jay sat up a little, blueprints crinkling beneath him.

"PIXAL? . . . "

"Can anyone hear me?"

"PIXAL!" Jay scrambled to his feet and darted over to Zane. How could he have forgotten about the robotic companion in Zane's head?! He tapped lightly against the Nindroid's hair, his panic forgotten.

"Can you hear me, PIXAL?"

"I hear you!" Her voice was tinny, but laden with relief. "It took me forever to hack into Zane's sound effect speakers; I still can't access his usual voicebox. I didn't frighten you, did I?"

"Oh, uh—no, no," said Jay. He cleared his throat. "So, uh, what are you doing in there? Weren't you in Zane's neural drive too?"

"I think a part of me was." PIXAL sounded unsettled. "After Zane placed my neural drive in his processor, he and I did quite a bit of rearranging and reprogramming. I will admit I lost track of which parts of my functionality were where . . . but I think some of me is missing now. I can no longer access his vitals or any of his other systems."

"You can't?" Jay's face fell. "So . . . you don't think you could access his memories, do you?"

"No. All my analytics capabilities have vanished. It's . . . a little frightening."

"Oh man." Jay's eyes widened. He briefly forgot about the memory thing as he considered PIXAL's situation. "Are you okay in there? Can you see?"

"No. Usually I can see through Zane's eyes, but . . . now it's like being in a dark room. I can't feel his surroundings or any of his internal systems like I usually do. I can't understand any of the filenames. Almost everything is . . . gone."

Jay shivered at the thought.

"Are . . . are you scared?"

"I'm better now," said PIXAL staunchly. "I can at least hear what he hears and speak to you through these speakers. I will be all right."

"Well, let me know if I can do anything for ya, all right?" said Jay. Vaguely he realized how truly weird this was, sitting here communicating with the lady in Zane's head, while she hacked Zane's body to use it as a mouthpiece. Cor, Nindroids were really something.

"I'm more interested in what I can do for you," said PIXAL. "More specifically, what I can help you do for Zane."

"We're on it," said Jay. "Hang in there, Pix. With your help, I'm sure we'll figure something out." He squinted at the Nindroid's shoulder, noticing something. "Say PIXAL, did you do something to his arm while you were hacking his speakers? It keeps twitching now."

"I . . . might have?" said PIXAL. "I was throwing everything I could find. I may have accidentally triggered some kind of circuit or program. I can see it running here, I just can't . . . tell you much about it."

Jay winced at her defeated tone.

"It's fine, it's fine. We'll figure that out too. Lemme get a voltmeter, okay?"

He began rummaging through the supplies on Nya's worktable, filled with new determination. From across the room, Kai mumbled "adios, muchachos" and integrated himself more thoroughly into the blanket.

* * *

When everyone else awoke, they were a little puzzled to find Jay talking animatedly with Zane's unresponsive shell. They soon found out about PIXAL, however, and did their best to make the ordeal easier on her. Someone always stayed to keep talking with her so she wouldn't be alone in the dark of Zane's mind.

She tried to describe the Technicians who attacked Zane, since she had seen them too. Being a Nindroid, she didn't have the best judgment of human features—but either way it wouldn't have really helped. "Black hair, heavy build" applied to too many people.

Jay and Nya worked tirelessly. Now and then one of them would pass out for a fifteen-minute nap, voluntary or not, but otherwise they barely even stopped to eat.

"I wish we could just hook wires to the bare terminals and see what happens," said Nya glumly. "I feel like if we just picked the right one, we could download his memories. But it's not like we can risk shorting out _Zane._ "

"I doubt his memories are even any kind of file type we could open," said Jay groggily. "It's not like he works in JPEGs. I think."

Resting his chin on his hands, he looked tiredly at the wrecked Nindroid. His eyes were still blank and dim, his arm still twitching erratically.

"Figured out anything about that twitching, Pix?" he asked without much hope.

"I've been working on it," said PIXAL hoarsely. "It's difficult to tell without my file knowledge, but . . . I've been watching it for a long time, and I think it is a short cycle playing over and over."

"Strange," murmured Nya. "I thought Zane's movements weren't pre-programmed."

"They aren't," said PIXAL. "I . . . think?"

Jay stifled a jaw-cracking yawn, letting his forehead thunk to the table. He had long since gotten past finding Zane's empty expression creepy. By now he was so used to it that it didn't keep him awake. He felt his eyes beginning to roll in a precursor to sleep, even though they were still (by great effort) open.

Zane's twitching arm made a soft, repetitive ticking noise. Jay watched it languidly. He slid his gaze as far as he could to the right; just at the corner of his vision he could see Nya's hands. One was wrapped around the handle of a coffee mug, the other was anxiously doodling on the corner of a blueprint. Coffee . . . he should get some . . .

He started to drift off. Soon he was having one of those bizarre pre-sleep hallucinations, the ones that make you think you've stepped in a hole and wake you up with the jolt to your leg. Only this time, he dreamed that Zane suddenly stood up from his chair, his arm twitching madly, and tried to stab him with a pencil, and as he was stabbing away with a blank expression Nya was pouring coffee on him to dissuade him and suddenly the spilled coffee took the form of a Technician and started stabbing _Zane_ instead and—

"AGH!" Jay sat up so violently he flipped his chair backwards.

"What, what, what?!" Nya started out of a brown study, splashing coffee over the tabletop.

"A pencil! Get a pencil!" Jay encountered unbelievable complications with the chair as he tried to scramble upright. Nya winced as he banged his chin against the floor.

"Are you okay?"

"He's drawing! He's _drawing!_ " Jay dove for a sheet of paper, then dragged Zane's chair towards the table, Zane and all.

"Jay, are you . . . ?" Nya watched in bewilderment as Jay tried to steady the Nindroid in the chair, then placed his arm up on the table. It continued to twitch, sliding over the sheet of paper Jay had slapped down in front of him, heedless of the coffee spill. Eagerly Jay pushed a pencil into Zane's hand.

It slipped right out again, the limp fingers failing to hold.

" . . . Oh." Jay slumped. "I was so sure . . . "

"No, I think you're onto something," said Nya, pushing back her chair as she intensely watched the Nindroid's hand. "His hand isn't relaxed—it's exactly in position to hold a pencil. It just can't grip because he's unconscious. Get me some tape."

Their own hands were shaking almost as much as Zane's as they struggled to tape a pencil into his shifting grip. The end result was not aesthetically pleasing, but it held firm.

They placed his arm on the tabletop again and watched. He drew a perfectly straight line on the paper. Then another. Another. A dark line. A gray line. A dot.

"It's a picture," whispered Nya, her hands pressed over her mouth. "He really is drawing a picture."

Perhaps attracted by the sizzling tension radiating from the room, the others gathered one by one. Nobody said anything much. The only sound was the even _skritch, skritch_ of the pencil traveling over the paper. More and more lines gathered, accumulating next to the previous lines.

Finally Zane started retracing previous marks. Nya gently lifted his arm and slipped the paper out from underneath it. It was a perfect black-and-white photograph, so realistic that Jay felt sick, knowing this was probably the last thing Zane saw before everything went black.

Two men. One woman. A snake. A taser glinting in the woman's hand, one of the men looming over Zane as his arms pinned the Nindroid down. All of their features perfectly clear.

"I don't believe it," said Cole softly.

"He knew," said Jay. "He knew they were going to take his neural drive, so he saved a picture of his attackers somewhere else. Somewhere it could 'print.' So we'd know who took him."

Kai was taking in every detail of the picture, his expression dark. The others knew what he was thinking; they were thinking much the same.

Some heads were going to roll tonight.


	67. What If I Told You

**Okay, for those who aren't into literary violence . . . brace. :/**

 **In other newwwwws! Past 900. Oh my gosh. I think this story is going to actually reach 1000 reviews, and I honestly do not know what I am going to do with myself in this event. You guys are being so generous with your time and opinions, I can't even begin. Thank you. X3**

 **So, I want to do another reader special if I do reach 1000 . . . but right now the only idea I have is to pretty much do the same thing as the 500-review special. Ask the characters/author, request one-shots, etc. Sound okay to you fellas? Or do you have something more unique in mind?**

* * *

 **Guest 1: Uhh . . . okayyy, man, just put that . . . whatever-it-is down and back away slowly . . . plz . . .**

 **Zaptrap: Or his zombie corpse, if you wanna be specific about it! :/ Heh, well, another week over, I guess? Thanks for the review!**

 **TheAmberShadow: Hmm. The "sister realm" thing doesn't work? I have to admit I just kinda rolled with it when I first heard it. ^_^'' Although I guess it was a little weird that a place with a name similar to "Ninjago" wouldn't be tied to Ninjago . . .  
That was kinda the point. ^_^''  
Egh, people rarely get what they deserve . . .  
Hehe, well Jay thanks you. And yeah, I was trying for that! Since he kept it throughout Season 5 and 6 and everything. And someone once suggested that Cole started eating a lot in Season 4 because it was his way of dealing with loss, and I think that's a pretty seaworthy explanation.  
Those drawing lessons were there for a reason! Thanks for the review. :)**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Haha, actually Silica would probably agree with you on Lloyd being adorable. :P Thanks for the review!**

 **LiaLia15: Wait . . . so you got in . . . and then you couldn't get in anymore? Okay, I'm a little worried. Are you sure your email address or FFN account hasn't been hacked? If someone else has access where they shouldn't, they might be changing your password after** ** _you_ change it, and that's why it stops working. :S  
Egh, well. They'll be a little more careful this time. Hopefully careful enough.  
She doesn't! She'd very much like this entire plot to carry through peacefully. Was a bad idea hiring Nash, obviously, but hindsight is 20/20 . . .  
Thanks! Good luck with that, then.**

 **Monranr: Lady at the company? You mean the one Jay was kinda-sorta interested in for a while? Mindy?  
And yes indeedy Cole has a man-bun. Now just imagine what he'd look like with his hair down, eh? So luxurious.  
**

 **Jens: Thanks! And you're welcome. :) Aww. GLACIER3, right? Well, maybe he's putting the finishing touches on it?  
Being a Nindroid makes EVERYTHING confusing. XD  
Haha, that's awesome. Do you have any plans to become a babysitter to a small snakelet? :P  
Thanks again!**

 **Guest 2: Yeah, it was pretty rough on her. Heh, and believe me, Jay was on the verge of screaming and running away himself. :P Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Sep 25**

 **9:00 PM**

 **Status conditions: Nya lightly wounded, Zane's continued existence still under peril**

* * *

"If there is one thing I can drill into all your heads." Nya's voice was raspy over the walkie-talkie. "Do. Not. Be. Seen."

"We got it," murmured Cole. Next to him Jay hunkered down, his heart pounding. They weren't even inside the building yet, dammit, how was he going to handle the actual mission?

They were back at the Gisher mining complex. The _Bounty_ was moored out of sight, and Nya was onboard serving as command central. They hadn't had time to learn how to use the smartphones, but they knew better than to go in without communication again.

"Kai and Lloyd are in position at the other end of the complex," said Nya. "Assume no news means good news, all right? I'll try to keep you updated on their status."

Jay grimaced.

"I still hate that we can't communicate directly with them," he whispered. "What if something urgent happens? What if they need us? What if Nya gets the walkie-talkie sets mixed up?"

"Why did I get stuck with _you?_ " Cole was often annoyed by Jay's nervous commentaries, but now there was actual bite behind his irritation. "We can't afford to sit around here panicking."

"I don't have any plans to sit around!" Jay retorted, but didn't push the matter. Cole was right, they had to focus on infiltrating the building. Nya had taken two walkie-talkie sets, given either team one end, and kept the two other ends to herself. At least this way they could communicate with the _Bounty_ , and Nya could play middleman to keep the teams updated on each other's statuses.

"Don't worry, guys. I have the two sets marked with colored tape so I'll never get them mixed up," said Nya. She gave a short, sad laugh. "Meep and Mopp are going crazy; they can't figure out how your voice is coming out of a tiny box."

Jay chuckled half-heartedly. Poor aliens; they were really getting neglected, what with all the drama and grief lately.

"All right, both teams," said Nya. "Move out! I'll stay silent unless you radio me first, to avoid blowing your cover."

"Roger." Cole jerked his head for Jay to follow, then tumbled swiftly from behind a shipping container. Jay dove after him. They scrambled up the scaffolding to the same rock crusher where they'd entered yesterday. They wanted to see if the vibration frequency really had been set to make it impassible for all except Zane.

Sure enough, the mesh conveyor belt was making a very different noise today, a steady thrum rather than the whine they had heard yesterday. The rocks atop it bounced rather than jiggling. Jay and Cole's eyes met, and without a word they played a match of rock-paper-clamp. It tied.

"Both, then," said Cole. He and Jay both gingerly reached to touch the mesh, ready to yank their hands back if necessary.

Nothing. Jay felt his arm wiggle with a firm vibration, but it certainly didn't hurt.

"Snap," growled Cole. "It really was a trap for Zane."

They walked across and dropped into the same hiding place they had used yesterday. Cole peeked out into the main floor and cursed softly. Now that the building wasn't set up in expectation of ninja invaders, there were _way_ fewer workers on the floor. A mere handful.

"We have been played for such idiots," gritted Cole, preparing to dart to a new hiding place.

"Wait!" Jay pulled him back. "Why risk it? We can just go behind the fan screen again. The safety grille will probably be there."

Cole flicked his eyes back to the main room, looking unconvinced.

"Come on," said Jay. "You heard what Nya said. We _can't_ be seen, or they'll destroy the neural drive right away. This is not the time to prove our ninja skills."

Cole blew a soft, irritated puff of air through his nostrils, but ducked his head in concession. The two of them slipped quickly behind the giant screen by the wall. The fans were still humming, the safety grille down.

"Hey, look at this!" Jay stepped over to squint through the mesh into the main room. "It's like looking through fabric. We can see _out_ , but since it's dark in here, they can't see _us._ We can relax and spy on the whole building from here! And the noise from the fans will let us radio Nya whenever we need to. Ha; am I good or what?"

"Oh, stop being right." Cole looked annoyed, but his eyes were smiling just a little. Jay gave him a tight smile back. All joking aside; they needed every advantage they could get. Zane's life depended on it.

They pulled out the copy of Zane's drawing they'd brought. It fluttered in the breeze from the fans, flecked with dots of light shining through the mesh. The ninja peered out at the workers, comparing them to the picture.

"I don't see anyone who could . . . wait. No. Look at that guy." Cole pointed. Jay squinted at the man, then at the picture, then at the man again.

"You're right! He's the guy holding Zane down in the picture!" His heart began to pound. "We have to—"

Behind them the whir of the fans grew into a roar.

"Uh-oh."

The wind picked up to a raging, whistling gale. Within seconds both Cole and Jay were sucked back, pulled flat against the safety grille. Dust bit away at Jay's face, stinging in his nostrils, working its way down to his lungs. Man, how long did the fast cycle _last?_

Beside him he heard Cole suddenly yell "NO!" Prying his eyes open just a slit, he was just in time to see the wind rip Zane's picture from Cole's hands. It slapped flat against the slats of the safety grille for a second—both ninja snatched at it desperately—then it was sucked through and drawn into the fan blades, doubtless ripped to shreds instantaneously.

"We needed that!" Cole glared daggers. Jay cringed as the fans finally slowed again, allowing the ninja to peel themselves from the safety grille.

"Ah . . . I remember what those guys looked like anyway . . . "

"Sure you do," said Cole acidically. "You just have the _best_ ideas, don't you?"

Jay huffed, looking away. He fished out his walkie-talkie.

"Hey, uh, Nya? Could you make another copy of Zane's drawing for us? We . . . may have to come back for it."

"Only if we have to," said Cole, already squinting through the screen into the main room again. "We already have a visual on—He's gone!"

"What? No!" Jay darted to the screen and peered through. "No, no, no, he can't just be—ah! There he is! He's going through the door to Building B! We've still got 'im!"

"Hmph. Lucky for you," said Cole.

"I'm _sorry_ , okay?" Jay lifted the walkie-talkie to his mouth again. "We're moving out of cover, Nya; no calling, okay?"

"Roger that," said Nya. "Kai and Lloyd report they're moving safely through Building C right now."

"Great," said Jay. Tucking the walkie-talkie away again, he followed Cole to the opposite end of the screen. A few quick stealth moves got them into the hallway leading to Building B.

"Carefullllll . . . " murmured Cole as he slid the next door open just a crack. A burst of heat, red light, and metal-scented air wafted through.

"This is the smelting building all right," said Cole, peeking through. Jay fidgeted anxiously behind him, glancing over his shoulder. What if someone else came down this hall?

"There he is." Cole's eyes narrowed. "Nobody else is around . . . We can jump him."

He pushed the door open a little more. They could see the Technician, his back to them, leaning against a railing and idly watching the kettles of molten iron, copper, and steel.

"Go." Cole threw open the door, and they both dove. Yanking the Technician back from the railing, they pinned his arms and clamped hands over his mouth. He kicked furiously, his eyes blazing.

"Hide! We've gotta hide!" hissed Jay. Cole looked around frantically, then jerked his head at another door nearby, probably leading to Building B's offices. Dragging the thrashing Technician with them, they floundered their way through and yanked the door shut behind them. It was pitch-black in here.

"Let's get him out of earshot," gasped Cole. "I've got his mouth. Help me drag him."

Jay lit a fistful of electricity, and they all grappled down the hallway. The Technician was a pretty tough guy. As they dragged him along, he finally got his legs underneath him and pushed off, slamming Cole against the wall.

"Oof!" Cole stumbled, briefly dazed. Jay tackled the Technician before he could flee, dealing him a sharp blow with a lightning-coated fist. Roaring, the Technician hurled Jay off. Cole tackled him in turn, rolling over and over on the floor, struggling to stay on top.

"Cole! COLE!" Jay waved furiously from an office door he'd just thrown open. Cole flicked the briefest of glances in his direction, which gave the Technician enough time to crack him in the jaw.

"Ow!" yelped Cole. "Ohhh, that does it—"

With a grunt of exertion, he pushed his opponent up and over, sending them both rolling head-over-heels, tumbling through the door. Jay slammed it shut and flicked the lights on. The Technician could yell all he wanted now, he probably wouldn't be heard in the main room of Building B. Meanwhile Cole finally brought the tumble to an end, slamming the Technician onto his back. The earth ninja's dagger flashed out, coming to a rest against his opponent's jugular.

"We've got some questions to ask," rasped Cole.

The man lay still, breathing heavily, his hair plastered down with sweat. Cole's eyes bored into his.

"Talk fast. You attacked our friend. Where did you take his neural drive after you stole it? Who did you take it to? Where are they keeping it?"

The man's jaw tightened, and his nostrils flared. He spoke not a word. Cole stayed put, his knife still firm against the man's throat, but Jay picked up the tiniest slump in the earth ninja's posture.

Now what?

"Better talk!" Jay told the supine man. "Because if you don't, we have ways of _making_ you."

The moment he said it he regretted it; he didn't even sound convincing to himself. He saw Cole's eyes roll back in annoyance, and the Technician laughed outright, a harsh sound.

"What're you gonna do, pretty boys? You're the _ninja_. You don't torture anyone."

"I dunno," growled Cole, pressing his dagger a little tighter as the man shifted beneath him. "There's a first time for everything, and you have a point, Jay. Maybe we _should_ rough this guy up."

"We—" Jay gulped.

"We can't afford to play nice anymore," said Cole sharply. "Man up. You want to save Zane or not?"

"I . . . "

"Get over here, help me tie him up. Find some wood we can splinter."

Jay felt sick. He didn't want to do this. He couldn't imagine torturing anyone. But Cole's eyes were desperate and hard, too hard for this to be a bluff. And for Zane . . . Could they really justify this, for Zane?

"Get moving, Jay!" barked Cole.

"I would reconsider," said a quiet voice. Jay's head snapped around, and his heart stopped. A woman stood in the doorway, pointing a gun at Cole's back.

"Don't move," she grated. "Both of you."

Cole was stiff. Slowly, moving only his eyes, he gave Jay a questioning look.

"She has a gun." Jay's voice cracked.

Cole licked his lips, his chest rising and falling quickly. His dagger was still pressed against the Technician's neck.

"If you shoot," he said slowly, "I can still slit his throat."

"If you slit his throat," retorted the woman, "I can definitely still shoot."

Jay stood petrified, not daring to even speak. It was a deadlock.

And he got the worst feeling the Technicians would move first.

* * *

Lloyd swallowed for the fortieth time, swiping a hand over his streaming eyes. Building C reeked of smoke, especially in the areas nearest to the roof. Which was exactly where Kai and Lloyd currently were. They had snuck in through the burned-out remains of the rooftop, and now they were creeping around above the ceiling tiles in the office section again.

"Do your sneezing now," warned Kai from up ahead. "I don't think there's anyone down below us just yet."

"I don't think I need to sneeze," said Lloyd hoarsely.

"Saving it for when the baddies show up, eh?" snarked Kai under his breath. Lloyd huffed, but didn't reply. Kai was on edge like you wouldn't believe, and arguing would only make it worse.

"We should be over that empty storage room now." Sliding over a rafter, Kai carefully pulled one ceiling tile up just a bit. Light filtered in from below, and Kai's eyes narrowed in defense. Then they widened again.

"Well, it's not empty _now_."

Lloyd slithered over and nudged in next to Kai, peering through the same gap. He drew in his breath in amazement. The room that had been empty only yesterday was now packed with boxes, tables, computers, humming stands of machinery.

"They brought back all their secret stuff!" he whispered.

"And nobody's around," said Kai. "There might be clues about Zane or the guys who took him. Let's go."

"Wait, no!" said Lloyd, grabbing Kai's arm. "You remember last night? What if a snake comes in after we leave and smells we've been here?"

"We smell like _smoke_." Kai scooped up a handful of soot and rubbed it into Lloyd's face. "This whole building smells like smoke. You think a snake could find our scents in all this?"

Lloyd sputtered and spat, indignant.

"You coulda just said so!"

Kai gave a short, dry laugh and pulled aside the ceiling tile, opening a gap to drop through. Lloyd slipped down after him, purposely grazing against him and making him stumble.

"Wise guy," said Kai. He caught his balance and headed for the nearest computer. "Look for some kind of employee database or something. Don't touch any computers that don't already have their screens on."

Tongue tucked between his teeth, Lloyd began typing on the nearest available keyboard.

"Hah, I think I found something!" said Kai. "This folder says 'ID badge info.' That'd probably include names and pictures." He clicked eagerly. A password box sprang up.

"Shoot."

"Look at this," said Lloyd. "They have a touchscreen terminal!"

"Don't mess with that, touchscreens are the worst," said Kai. "Have you ever tried to use one of those sandwich-ordering touchscreens at the NNC gas station? It takes forever. And there's no way to close the windows fast if someone comes in here."

As if on cue, a door slammed nearby.

" _Seriously?_ " Kai hissed in annoyance. He and Lloyd both bolted back up into the ceiling, nearly knocking a tile loose in their haste.

A man and a snake come lumbering in, both loaded down with boxes.

"Worth makin' another trip down?" grunted the snake.

"Nah, there's only a few left, the others'll get 'em," said the guy. He set down the boxes and groaned, arching his back. "Damn. If we ever have to drag all that junk out of here again, I swear we'll just leave it in the mine."

"Yeah, you tell the chief that," said the snake.

From their position in the ceiling, Lloyd snuck a peek at Zane's drawing.

"Neither the right guy, right?" he whispered.

"Uh-uh." Kai shook his head. "I know the snake, though. Eycho. He'd give me deliveries to hide sometimes."

Lloyd peered between the ceiling tiles with new interest, sizing up the Serpentine. He was a Venomari, with a somewhat crumpled snout that gave him a woebegone expression. If Lloyd hadn't known he was a criminal working for a psycho drug dealer, he might have thought he looked rather sympathetic.

"He doesn't look that bad," Lloyd whispered.

"He wasn't." Kai propped up his chin in one hand. "He had the lousy luck of being a 'drooler'—dealers work hard to recruit those. He doesn't really have the option of leavin', but he hates Nash as much as the next guy."

"How much is that?"

"A lot."

The human wandered out. A few more wandered in, dropping off more boxes. Apparently they were still bringing back the last of the stuff they'd removed when they were expecting the ninja.

Meanwhile Eycho hung around the room, growling and unpacking boxes of smartphones. He would take each phone, hook it up to the touchscreen terminal with a little cable, and wait for a beeping sound. Then he'd unplug the phone and start again with another one. If the ninja had been in here on a regular mission, they'd have been paying very close attention to those phones, but right now they were more interested in scanning the faces of Technicians wandering in and out. None of them matched Zane's picture.

Just when they were starting to worry, a woman walked in.

"That's her!" breathed Lloyd. "The woman in the picture!"

Kai's glance flicked to the other Technicians still in the room. There was no chance of attacking now. Besides, the woman had picked up some paperwork and was already heading out the door.

Wordlessly Kai began to clamber over rafters, heading the same direction as the woman. Lloyd did the same, mentally cursing every shuffle and soft thump. Fizzims forbid someone heard them crawling around up here.

They reached the hallway ceiling. Kai pulled up one tile and peeked down into the hall. They didn't see the woman, but they heard a door slam somewhere to the left.

"Dangit," muttered Kai. They crawled that way.

The first room they peeked into was empty. The next one too. On the third one Kai froze. Startled by the red ninja's expression, Lloyd leaned forward to peer under the ceiling tile as well. A lone Serpentine stood in this room, tapping at a touchscreen terminal. He had a headset on and was holding a grating conversation with someone on the other end of the line. Lloyd took in the snake's unusual height and completist collection of scars. When he turned his head to consult a document, he revealed a raw pink gash glinting across his muzzle. Kai gave the softest of snorts and a grim smile.

"Good job, Jay."

Lloyd looked from Nash to Kai, his eyes questioning. Should they move on? Kai shook his head and held a finger to his lips for silence. Nash had just ended his headset conversation, and alone in a room like this, he'd likely hear the ninja moving around overhead. They had to wait for him to leave or start talking again.

They waited tensely. Lloyd's foot started to fall asleep, so he tried to move it ever so carefully. Evidently not carefully enough, because Kai gave him a murderous look. Down below Nash swiped and tapped at the screen, growling to himself. Through the open doorway came another snake—Eycho, actually.

"Chief—" he began.

Nash gave a violent start, his head lurching forward reflexively. With an oath he rounded on the other Serpentine.

"Youuuu son of a—"

Eycho shied back.

"Damn Chief, I only just—"

It happened almost too fast for the eye to follow; a flash of metal, and Eycho gave an agonized cry as a cutlass plunged into his gut. Rumbling in his throat, Nash yanked the blade out and finished his data entry, ignoring the snake guttering at his feet. Lloyd looked in paralyzed horror from the snake to Kai. The fire ninja was watching with a hard expression, his jaw clenched. There was nothing they could do.

"Wh . . . why?" whispered Lloyd. Kai didn't look his way.

"He's not good about being startled."

Finally Nash moved to leave. Almost before the door shut behind him, Kai and Lloyd threw themselves out of their hiding place and to Eycho's side. He was lying in a steadily spreading pool of blood.

"Eycho," said Kai. "Hey man, hang on. Remember me?"

The snake's eyes shuddered open. He blinked hazily up at Kai.

". . . Red?"

Abruptly he gave a snarl, jolting towards Kai. Between ragged breaths he started to curse.

"What the hell're you—doing here? Get out. Get out."

"Shut up, Eycho, we're going to help you," said Kai. Eycho bared his teeth, growling. Ignoring his fury, Kai moved to his abdomen and began to work, wiping away sheets of blood, trying to find the entry point. Lloyd held him down, his eyes permanently wide. Eycho continued to curse in between chokes of pain.

"Idiots," he growled. "Get out. Get out before he finds you."

"Not leaving you," said Kai, still working as gently as he could. His mouth was drawn with dismay; there clearly wasn't much he could do. "Hold still, Eycho, are you listening to me? We need to stop the bleeding. We'll get you to a hospital somehow."

Eycho gave a snort. His chest heaved with each breath.

"Forget it. He wanted me dead; I'm dead. Got no innards no more."

"Shut up Eycho, shut up, you're going to live. Lloyd, help me—Agh!"

Kai yanked his hands back as a pinkish, fizzing slurry splashed over them. Stomach acid. Teeth gritted, Kai tore off his gloves, then ripped the sleeve off his gi and began using it as a sling, trying to scoop the corrosive mix out of Eycho's abominal cavity. The blood kept coming.

"Why," whispered Lloyd shakily, struggling to help Kai stem the red gushing from seemingly everywhere. "Why, why, why, why—"

Kai didn't bother to give an answer. Lloyd wasn't expecting one.

Eycho fell silent, his yellow eyes rolling in his head as he watched the ninja's frantic efforts. He seemed to be growing more and more indifferent. Each breath rasped out through his throat, creating an odd agonized purring sound.

"Ey." Seeing that Kai had drawn back slightly, he reached out with one claw and dragged the fire ninja towards him. "Ey Red."

Kai pulled back, but Eycho took a bunch of his shirt and pulled him down to look him in the eye.

"Red, lissun to me." His voice was growing strained, interspersed with steady gasps. "Lissun. Iss good you're here. Son of a Skulkin's gonna regret—stabbin' me. My code."

"Eycho, let go, I need to—" Kai tried to pull free, but Eycho growled and dragged him down again.

"Lissun, idiot. Hombrito's. Do you know Hombrito's?"

"I . . . I've heard of it." Kai gave up struggling, his eyes wide.

"Where?" demanded Eycho.

"Corner of . . . corner of Madison and . . . and . . . "

"Fourth Street," growled Eycho, shaking him insistently. "Madison and Fourth! Go there. Bring friend. You listening?"

"Yes," whispered Kai.

"Ask for Dexter. Back room. Tellim—" Eycho coughed. "Tellim the code. Say 'I'm number eight, five, four, A.' Friend says—eight, five, four, B. Goddit?"

"Got it."

"Repeat it." Eycho's grip didn't loosen.

"Hombrito's. Corner of Madison and Fourth. Back room. Dexter. Eight four—"

"Idiot! Get it right!" Eycho dug his claws in despairingly. "Eight five four! A and B. Iss important!"

"Eight five four. Eight five four, got it." Kai watched with horror as a dribble of blood appeared at the corner of Eycho's mouth. "Eycho, we—"

"One more time! Swear ta me you'll remember. Swear you'll do it."

"Hombrito's Madison and Fourth Dexter eight five four A and B!" rattled off Kai desperately. "We'll do it. I promise."

Eycho gave a long, raspy sigh, laying his head back. He gave a twisted smile.

"Give 'im hell."

"Eycho," said Kai, trying to pull free from the Serpentine's continuing grip on his shirt. "Eycho—"

"Egh." Eycho coughed again, and the dribble of blood turned into a gush. He shook his head, his voice reduced to a choking gurgle. He pulled Kai back again, his eyes pleading.

"Tell—my brother—"

The gurgling stopped.

Lloyd sat frozen where he was, not breathing. After a moment Kai shifted and began to pry the snake's fingers from his shirt, one by one.

"He . . . he's . . . " Lloyd looked up with glassy eyes, his hands shaking. Then he froze again. "Kai."

Kai looked up. Four Serpentine were standing at the far end of the room, motionless. Kai stood up and stepped back with a slight nod. One by one the snakes stepped forward, encircling the body and silently pressing the humans back. They made no attempt to attack. They had come to bury their dead.

Kai approached one of the snakes, deliberately getting in his way so he had to look at him.

"Who was his brother?"

"Not one of us."

Kai gave a grim nod. Of course that meant no name. No member of Nash's crew would ever talk about their family members who weren't in the business. It was a feeble attempt to protect them from Nash's net.

"They've got him," Kai said, pulling a dazed Lloyd away. "They'll give him a proper Serpentine burial. We'll find his brother."

"What'll we tell him?" asked Lloyd. He felt like his own voice was coming from far away. Kai shrugged.

"We'll tell him he was sorry."

"But we never heard . . . "

"Didn't need to," said Kai quietly. "That's what they all say."


	68. FNAN

**Just for the record, you prolly don't want to adopt any of the foreign language used in this chapter. It's a Ninjagian tongue, but there's a vague possibility someone might understand it if you say it to the right people . . .**

 **Dabbling in dark waters for that chapter title too. Bleh. Shame on me.**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **TheAmberShadow: Ya,** **I didn't have computer access on Tuesday. I didn't think too many people would notice; guess I was wrong. XD  
Ack, I was thinking of changing Eycho's name because I did notice it was super-similar to Echo, but in the end I couldn't get anything to sound right. So!  
Oh, it'll do more than last. Them Serpentine are a surprising bunch. :3  
Heh, well I'm glad I'm not leaving you hopeless! ^_^  
You caught that, huh? Yeahhhh, a few times too many.**

 **Toothless: My dude, dude; if you saw the kind of silly straws Jay is stashing in the cabinet over the fridge, you'd grasp at them too. :P  
**

 **Monranr: Noted! And I guess one-shots is what it's gonna be. ^_^ Heh, I don't doubt they're gonna have fun.  
**

 **Jens: Thanks for the review! Ech, Silica is right under their noses, likely as not. They just dunno the right way to look.  
Oh, I wouldn't trust me. I'm full of surprises!  
Heh, probably a good idea. They're a handful.  
Oooooh, sounds like fun! I've seen videos of people petting little owls, they look so soft and floofy.  
Awww, thanks! Heh, I'll be looking forward to your questions/requests, then.  
Well, you'll see in just a moment! :)  
**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Well, fluff does sell pretty well on FFN, but unfortunately it's hard to write a full-sized story without anything bad happening. :/**

 **Zaptrap: Haha. Is that a good thing? ^_^''  
My messed-up mind is drawing from Brian Jacques' books _again,_ I'm afraid. I'm not sure what it is about those books that lends itself so well to ninja. XD  
Eh, he had his gritty past, tho. Everyone in the trade did. Not exactly an angelic history, y'know what I mean?  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Fire Oreo: Hello again! Aww, thanks for the kind words!  
Heh, I'd really like to be a writer. That's not how my life fell together, though. Maybe someday. ^_^''  
Understood. ;)  
Well, Eycho knew Kai a little, but not super-well. Still, as a ninja, Kai's not going to just let someone die without helping them. And for the record, I have had some practice pre-writing bloody scenes. So there's a hint of where things are going in this fic. ^_-''  
And yeah, I think it's gonna be the same thing as the 500-review special! With maybe an extra new game too. :) Aww, you're stressed? Why?  
**

 **Guest: Thank you! Yeah, Cole's on the verge of losing it. They all are.  
Nah, no trauma, just one heck of a messed-up mind. Nash saw the opportunity for recreational venom as soon as the Venomari were released from their tomb. So he schemed and killed his way to power, and now he schemes and kills to keep it. **

* * *

**Sep 25**

 **10:44 PM**

 **Status conditions: Nya lightly wounded, Cole and Jay in stalemate, Lloyd's not doing so great, we should all be seriously worried about Zane**

* * *

Jay was ready to scream. He felt like he'd been standing motionless for hours, only shifting his eyes between Cole menacing the Technician and the woman menacing Cole. Neither of them moved either. Jay twitched despairingly. What if he made a lunge for it? Maybe he could tackle the woman away in time?

As appealing as the notion sounded, he held himself back. He knew she could change her target much faster than Jay could make it across the room—and once she'd shot him she'd probably take Cole out for good measure. Dear lord, what to do? Were they going to stand here all night?

A door slammed nearby, and everyone jumped.

"Heyyyyy!" called a female voice. The Technician holding the gun gave a snort, not moving her eyes from Cole. Jay groaned internally. Just what they needed, _another_ Technician joining the party.

"What's going on in here?" The unknown intruder stumped closer. She had a thick accent of some sort. "Woah. Put down that pea-shooter, Starr, do you have rabbit cornered in there?"

"Ninja," said the woman tersely. "They're holding up Rinker with a knife."

"Ey, _ludjeh_." The newcomer jostled up next to Starr and poked her head around the doorframe. She was a Venomari, sleek pink scales lining her front. "Huh! Ninja all right. You should not be here."

"Believe me, we'd love to leave," said Cole tightly. "Only thing is, if I let go of this guy, I get shot, don't I?"

"We won't shoot. Let him go." The Venomari waited for a second. When Cole didn't move, she rolled her eyes and placed a heavy hand on Starr's gun, swinging the muzzle down to the floor. "Back up Starr, they won't hurt him. You know how ninja are."

Catching Jay's eye, Cole slowly drew back his dagger and slid off the Technician, staying alert in case of a sudden attack. Jay whipped out his nunchucks. Everyone eyed everyone else guardedly.

"Easy, Rinker," said the Venomari. "You have that calculating look. I know it. You jump ninja, Starr will try shoot him, you both get bullet through skulls, eh?"

She sashayed into the room, past an indignant Starr. Jay and Cole both tensed, gripping their respective weapons a little tighter.

"Who are you?" said Cole. "What do you want?"

"Natanka." It took a second for Jay to realize that was the Venomari's name. "You're here for your friend, aren't you?"

Cole and Jay shared a confused glance, but mutually agreed to stay silent. They had no idea what was going on here, what this snake wanted with them. Natanka gave an amused snort.

"Our orders were to report you to Silica if you tried to interfere." She smiled drily. "I have better idea. We will take you to our chief. He will be happy to see you." Her smile grew into a savage grin when she looked at Jay. The blue ninja flinched. He knew just who she meant by "chief."

"Go get bandaged, Rinker. Starr and I will take these two," said Natanka. "Starr?"

The woman's gun snapped up again, locked firmly on Cole. Rinker clambered to his feet, glowering at the two ninja. He gave Cole a rough shove and spat off to one side before walking away. Cole's head dipped in fury, but he couldn't do anything to retaliate; not with Starr's gun trained on him.

"All right _brachi_ , march." Natanka jerked her head at the doorway. Cole hesitated. Starr clicked the safety on her gun warningly. Jay watched Cole, waiting to see what he did, ready to follow his lead. His heart was whirring like a rabbit's, but otherwise he felt oddly calm. If Cole didn't move, neither would he.

The standoff must have lasted only two seconds, but it felt like way longer. At last Cole lowered his eyes to the floor.

"All right then."

Sheathing his dagger, he began to walk slowly towards the door. Jay felt an odd mixture of relief and disappointment. Relief that they weren't about to get shot, disappointment that they had to give in like this.

. . . Oh, and get taken to Nash. Well, that ended the conflict of emotions. Entirely unmixed dread now.

They walked through the offices, Starr striding next to them with gun cocked, Natanka trotting just behind. They reached the door to Building C, and Natanka rattled the knob.

"Locked," she said. "Let me get keys."

She disappeared. Cole and Jay stood quietly by the door, keeping their heads down. Jay couldn't resist sneaking glances at Starr, who was watching them with cold eyes and a small, cold smile. She looked like the kind of woman who would love to see him twitching in agony on the floor.

Soon the jingling of keys and Natanka's heavily-accented rambling drew up behind them.

" _Koorva,_ what idiot locked this door? They leave every other door in this building gaping, _nagleh sheh srobili sushbonsih_ —"

Jay peeked over his shoulder, curious at the sudden stream of foreign language. He was just in time to see the Serpentine lift one clawed fist and crack Starr deftly in the back of the skull. The woman's head snapped forward, then she went limp and collapsed, nearly falling against Jay. He shied away reflexively, his hands flying to his mouth. Beside him Cole realized what had just happened and was staring in similar shock.

"We need to go." Natanka noticed the ninja's expressions and snorted. "Close your mouths, she is not dead."

"Wh-why—" stammered Jay.

"I'm on your side." Natanka crouched to pry the gun from Starr's hands and empty the magazine. She looked around for somewhere to hide the ammo, then shrugged and swallowed it. "Come with me, quickly. We must get you out of here. Did you come alone?"

Cole and Jay looked at each other. Could they trust her? She had just out of the blue turned on one of her own teammates to . . . rescue them? What was all this?

Cole turned back to the Venomari, resigned.

"No, we came with two others."

"Should have known," grunted Natanka. "Where are they? We need to get them out of here too."

"But—"

"Don't talk! Where are they?"

"Uhh . . . let me call Nya." Jay fumbled for his walkie-talkie. "Uhh, Nya?"

"There you are!" Nya gave a relieved gasp. "You didn't check in forever! Are you all right?"

"We're fine, we're fine," said Jay. "We, uh, we need to find Kai and Lloyd. Do you know where they are?"

"That's just it! They're still in Building C. Kai just called me a few seconds ago, and he sounded really messed-up. He said they were okay and were gonna keep looking, but . . . I don't know what's happening."

Jay exchanged an anxious glance with Cole.

"We're heading over to Building C, then," he said to Nya. "We'll check in once we find them, okay?"

"Copy that. Be careful out there," said Nya. "Do not be seen!"

"Uhhhh . . . yeah," said Jay, looking up at Natanka. The Venomari smirked at him as he hung up.

"Good then." She swept for the door, throwing it open—it hadn't been locked at all—and waved impatiently. "Come on, _idiochi!_ You heard her, no one else must see you!"

They set out at a rapid walk. Natanka led them to the door of an elevator and began punching buttons savagely. Apparently the elevator was passcode-protected. Jay and Cole stood to the side, shifting uneasily.

"Why are you helping us?" Cole asked.

"I am one of Nash's crew," said Natanka, not looking up from the elevator keypad. "When you are Nash's crew, there are two reasons you are loyal. Slow death to your family. Slow death to you."

The elevator doors hissed open. Natanka herded the ninja inside and pressed the button for the top floor.

"My father died in this trade," she continued. "I stayed because I did not want slow death for my mother. Two weeks ago my mother died."

"Oh," said Jay. "I . . . uh, I'm sorry?"

Natanka waved him aside, her eyes distant.

"She died from being sick. No pain. But now Nash has nothing left to threaten me. There is only me, slow death for me." Her fangs glinted in the yellow elevator light as she smiled. "And I am not as scared of that as Nash thinks."

Jay leaned away a little, subconsciously. Natanka noticed and laughed.

"You are not very good ninjas. What were you planning to do to Rinker? Ask him questions politely?"

"We were planning to rough him up, actually," said Cole crisply. "We'd have got an answer out of him."

Natanka laughed again. Cole looked insulted, and Jay winced, remembering what they'd been planning before Starr showed up. Honestly he was a little scared by Cole's sudden intensity. Avoiding the earth ninja's eyes, he turned to Natanka instead.

"So you all really hate Nash that much? You're only loyal because he threatens you and your families?"

"Not all of us. Some of us really are here for money, power, blood. Whatever. Those still hate Nash, but they stay loyal because they like his cause. Rinker, for instance. He would turn you in to Nash if he could. The rest of us—" She shrugged eloquently. "Fear makes us obedient. It does not make us love."

The elevator doors opened. Natanka plowed off down the hall, and the ninja followed, taking long strides to keep up. Presently Natanka jolted to a halt, tilting her head to listen.

" _Psha kosch!_ Someone is here. Quickly, hide! I will get you when the path is clear."

The next thing Jay knew, Natanka had shoved him and Cole into a broom closet and hurried off. They both stood among the mops and buckets for a second, processing.

"What just actually happened?" muttered Cole at last.

"Do you think we can trust her?" said Jay.

"I don't know. It's a little too late to wonder about that now, isn't it?"

They sat down on the floor and waited. Somewhere down the hall they heard subdued voices rising and falling in conversation.

"I wish we could have gotten an answer out of Rinker before Starr showed up," said Cole at last.

"You'd . . . really have tortured him, huh?" Jay tried to sound offhanded.

"Well sure, yeah." Cole gave him a look. "You heard Natanka, you've gotta be tough if you're gonna be a ninja. Sometimes you've gotta be ruthless. I mean, for Zane's _life?_ I'd totally have roughed that guy up."

"Y . . . yeah, me too," said Jay. "Totally."

"Totally," said Cole. Jay winced at the sarcasm in his voice. He saw right through him, didn't he? Did he think Jay was weak? Did he think he didn't care about Zane enough? Did he—

" . . . Yeahhh, I couldn't either."

Jay looked up and found Cole smiling at him sadly. He managed a weak smile back, feeling relief flood through him.

"I-it's not that I don't want to save Zane, it's just—"

"I know." Cole laughed ruefully. "We're terrible ninjas."

"Ugh . . . But you know, I don't think Zane'd want us to torture anyone to save him anyway."

"True that." Cole leaned back against a cleaning cart. "It's okay. We're gonna find that drive anyway. And we're not gonna do anything that'd make Zane disappointed in us either."

"Yeah," said Jay. He was dizzy with relief.

"You look awful." Was that laughter in Cole's voice? "Geez. I was the one who almost got shot."

"I coulda been shot too!" Jay felt his face grow hot. "Look, can you knock it off? I think I've been through _enough_ today—"

Suddenly Cole's hand sprang up, motioning for silence. Natanka's voice was drawing nearer, calling "Get out here already, _idiochi!_ " Cole and Jay both scrambled to their feet and threw open the closet door.

"The others are gone," said Natanka. She looked haggard. Jay started when he saw blood shining on her hands.

"What happened?!"

"There was a killing," she said. "I was helping them move the body."

Jay's heart stopped.

"N-not—"

"Not one of your friends, no. One of our own." Natanka shook her head, much more subdued now. "Quick. Your friends, where are they?"

As if on cue, a sai whipped past her and embedded itself in the wall.

" _Koorva yego mach!_ " she blurted.

"What do you think you're doing?" growled Kai, already brandishing another sai. "Get away from my friends."

"Kai, no, no! She's with us!" yelped Jay. Kai paused, suspicious. Lloyd slipped down from the ceiling tiles to stand next to him, and Jay nearly choked. He'd never _seen_ so much blood. It hadn't showed as much on Kai's red gi.

"Wh-what happened to you?!"

"It's not ours," said Kai. "It's . . . now is not the time. Who's the snake?"

"You saw Eycho die, didn't you?" said Natanka quietly. She pried the sai from the wall and held it out to Kai, hilt-first. "Flaming Shogun, yes?"

"Red Shogun," said Kai automatically, then shook his head clear. "Why should we trust you?"

"You worked for Nash a while, didn't you?" said Natanka.

"Maybe . . . " Kai's eyes narrowed.

"How do you feel about him?"

Kai blinked. His eyes shifted to the blood on Natanka's hands.

"That's how you know you can trust me." Natanka gave him an empty smile. "Eycho is not the first friend I helped bury. For weeks I have been waiting for the right moment to get out of here. When I saw you were here, ninja, I knew it would be today. I'm tired of burying my friends."

She held out the sai again. Kai hesitated, then reached out and took it.

"Understood," he said. "Thank you."

Natanka gave a terse nod.

"I know the quickest way out," she said. "I'll go in front to make sure no one is there—"

"No," said everyone simultaneously. Natanka stopped, blinking.

"We can't leave," said Kai. "We were seen."

"Us too," said Cole. "Someone's bound to tell Nash or Silica we've been here."

"All the more reason to get out!" said Natanka.

"No, you don't understand," said Cole. "When they find out we were here, they'll destroy Zane's neural drive. We need to find it NOW."

"It's probably already too late!" said Natanka. "You will only get yourselves killed."

"That's a chance we're taking," said Kai. "If you want to help us, you can help us find his neural drive. Otherwise we're not interested."

Natanka looked around at them for a moment, one eye ridge down, the other up.

" _Ludjeh_ ," she said at last. "We should all have friends like that."

"Does that mean you're helping us?"

"Tell me what to do." Natanka spread her claws.

"We have a picture." Kai fished in the folds of his gi. "Do you know any of these people?"

"We fought that guy, he's called Rinker," said Cole, pointing. "We . . . didn't have a chance to get anything out of him."

"You wouldn't have," said Natanka. "He is loyal to the chief. Nothing can move a man like that." She squinted at the drawing. "You humans all look the same, but I don't recognize the other two. They probably never worked in the scale juice trade. In that case they are loyal to Silica, they have no reason to hate Nash. You would have a hard time getting information out of them."

"So the snake is our best bet?" said Cole. "Great, that narrows it down. Do you think she's here?"

"Maybe," said Natanka. "Many of us are here. We were helping to move everything back into the storage room. Maybe she was here. Maybe she hasn't left yet."

"That's a lot of maybes," said Kai glumly.

"Best bet!" Natanka pressed the picture back into Kai's hands and wheeled around. "Off we go!"

Kai murmured a quick update to Nya over walkie-talkie as they followed Natanka downstairs. Jay leaned over to him and lowered his voice.

"Is Lloyd okay? He looks kinda . . . "

"Yeah, he's a little messed-up," said Kai, grimacing. "Eycho didn't die easy."

"You are all terrible, terrible ninjas," remarked Natanka from the front. She peered into Lloyd's face. "You look sick, _croopneechek._ "

"What?" Lloyd gave her a bewildered look.

"You have something under your tongue." Natanka wagged a finger knowingly. Everyone looked to Kai, but he spread his hands, baffled.

"What does _croo . . ._ that word mean?" asked Jay.

Natanka looked back, but then her head twitched up again, her tongue flickering.

"Hide, hide, hide! People coming!"

The ninja dove into a side hall. They heard Natanka exchanging brisk words with the other Technicians for a moment. Then she poked her head into the hallway.

" _Hoeenka yasnah._ We'll be running into idiots every step of the way, won't we? Come on."

They followed Natanka through hallways and doors, listening to a constant stream of irritated exclamations. She seemed like the kind easily moved to oaths.

"What language even is that?" whispered Jay.

"The accent sounds like Dranuhovian," Kai murmured back. "Small continent eternity to the east of us. Near Metalonia."

"Do they all curse that much?"

"Search me."

"We're almost out!" called Natanka from the front. "Look lively, ninja."

"Why are we leaving the building?" asked Cole suspiciously as Natanka pointed to a side door. "We _said_ we're not leaving here till we—"

"I know, I know, yeesh. I'm hiding you in old mine. We hid our electronics there when you came in last night. Now it's empty and no one will come looking in there. Meanwhile I will go look for snake in your picture. Safer."

"But there's only one of you!" protested Cole as Natanka led them outside and across the dark compound. "If we all looked it would go faster—"

Natanka said a long series of Dranuhovian things at him, none of them very charitable-sounding. Cole blinked, lost for words.

"We would probably run into the wrong characters pretty fast," said Kai heavily. "I don't like just sitting off to the side either, but we've done enough damage ourselves already. Let's let an insider handle it."

" _Noh, mahsh._ Listen to your friend, he's a brainy one," said Natanka smugly, herding the ninja into the dark mouth of an abandoned mine tunnel. Jay shivered at the "DANGER: Do Not Enter" signs they were passing, but didn't complain.

"Good at throwing a knife, too," said Natanka, grinning at Kai through the dark.

"Yeah, thanks," said Kai tartly. "Just tell us where to hide, okay?"

" _Prosheh bardzo._ " Natanka waved grandly at a small side tunnel. "Settle down, ninjas. I'll be back soon. Pray for good news, eh?"

She swished back towards the entrance of the tunnel, melting into the gloom. The ninja stood still for a moment.

"Well, I guess we wait," said Kai tiredly.

They slipped into the alcove. Jay lit a tiny electric flare, while Kai shook his walkie-talkie. It hissed static, stymied by the layers of rock overhead. Lloyd subconsciously brushed dried blood from his gi.

"You okay, potato?" murmured Cole.

"Sure . . . "

Cole sighed and ruffled Lloyd's hair, then wrapped an arm around him. Lloyd looked like he was going to protest for a second, but then he only burrowed into Cole's side and shut his eyes. They sat quietly for a while, listening to the distant rumble of machinery.

"I think we're going to fail," said Kai.

"Don't say that!" Jay glared.

"What are our chances?" Kai spread his hands. "We've already been spotted by agents loyal to Nash. The neural drive is gonna be destroyed within hours. Our only hope is a crazy snake who fell out of nowhere, who may or may not be able to find another snake, who may or may not be willing to give some information about the neural drive's location. Those odds make the lottery look good."

"Kai?" said Cole.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Kai folded his arms, but complied. A heavy air of defeat settled over them as they contemplated the results of failure. Zane was doomed.

A few minutes later they heard a brisk, bare-footed step further down the mine. They scrabbled to their feet and hurried to meet Natanka. Suddenly Kai slid to a halt. Jay felt his heart sink at the same instant. The silhouette of the snake in the mine entrance was the wrong shape.

Kai's hands burst into flame. The sudden light fell upon the scarred face of Nash.

"She sold us out!" blurted Kai.

Nash's eyes had snapped shut against the blaze of light. So had most of the ninjas', but they had a bit of an advantage since they'd had Jay's light beforehand. Squinting desperately, Jay saw Nash also opening his eyelids the barest slit. Then there was a silvery flash, and a knife thwacked against the wall inches to the right of Kai.

"He's blinded! Quick, turn on your lights!" shouted Kai. Jay shook himself, recovering. He hadn't even seen Nash winding up; the knife just flew out of nowhere. If this guy's vision cleared, they were kind of screwed.

"I hope Zane was right about snakes' pupils adjusting slower," muttered Cole, dashing a hand across his streaming eyes.

There was no way to get past Nash safely in the narrow mine tunnel. They knew he'd be able to hear their breaths and footsteps even if they didn't talk, so instead they made as much noise as they could, moving constantly. The echoes bounced around the tunnel until even Jay was disoriented.

"Jay, look out!" yelled Kai, hurling a fireball into Nash's chest. It disintegrated harmlessly against the snake's thick hide, but it distracted him for just a second, giving Jay a chance to duck. A bullet barked into the stone over his head.

"Cole, it's you now!" he shouted, rolling over and channeling a couple hundred volts in Nash's direction. It barely fazed him.

"I'm a little tied up!" Cole called back. He was leaning against the wall, feeling frantically back and forth for a weak spot in the stone.

Lloyd tossed up an energy shield just in time to block a bullet. Nash was out of rounds now, and thankfully he was in no position to reload; Kai, Lloyd, and Jay kept up a continuous barrage of attacks. Jay was pretty sure a bullet had grazed his leg, but he was too full of adrenaline to feel anything now and he didn't want to look. Meanwhile Nash wove deftly between streams of fire and lightning and energy, working his way steadily closer to the ninja. Whatever did hit seemed to roll right off him.

"Cole, we really, really need a way out!" yelped Lloyd. Kai panted at his side, flames sputtering in his hands.

Cole looked from the ninja to Nash—and the space was much too small between them—and set his jaw. He slammed one fist against the wall, and ripples of stone began to shoot up and down the tunnel, mingling and growing. The ground shook harder and harder. Rocks bounced on the floor and showered down from the ceiling, which grumbled ominously. The tunnel went dark as everyone was thrown to the ground.

Finally the stones overhead gave a deep groan and shifted. Jay cringed—

—And nothing happened. A final massive jolt, and the earthquake stopped. The tunnel held.

Through the darkness, the ninja heard a rustle of scales against stone. A cold, amused hiss.

"Run," breathed Kai.

They took off, deeper into the mine. Cole led the way, sounding easily down the stone tunnel. The others subconsciously followed his footsteps, listening for the changing echoes that signaled a curve. Nobody could focus enough to light an element. Behind them they could hear the purposeful slap of bare scaled feet against the stone, measured paces, waiting for the mine's inevitable dead-end. A shudder crawled down Jay's spine.

Snakes had better night vision.

Suddenly there was a clatter and a painful-sounding thud. Jay skidded to a halt, whirling back.

"Lloyd!"

Sparks fumbled uselessly between his fingertips until he managed to light a globe of electricity.

He was just in time to see Nash's dark form detach from the floor like a possessed shadow and pounce atop Lloyd, rows of glowing teeth plunging for his throat. Even as half of Jay's brain locked into a prolonged mental screech of horror, the other half was registering motion from Lloyd—he was rolling onto his back and snatching up a shovel, probably the very shovel he had tripped over, and slamming it up to shield his head. Nash's jaws crashed against the steel blade.

Jay had expected the snake to bounce right off like a cartoon character biting into a rock, but Nash didn't even flinch. His fangs pierced through the flat of the shovel and locked. For a second everything fell still: Lloyd on his back, wide-eyed, his arms shaking; Nash's eyes glinting amusedly around the edge of the shovel blade, his claws finding purchase in Lloyd's chest.

Then the shovel crumpled like a soda can between his jaws. Yanking his head aside, he jerked the shaft from Lloyd's hands, spat out the mangled remains of the blade, and—

—Jay wasn't aware he had started moving, but he became aware just at the moment his nunchucks connected with Nash's skull. He felt the impact reverberate into his hand, the dull thud of scale and bone. Nash lurched, tossing his head in pain. His disoriented eyes lifted to fix on Jay, and for a second the blue ninja thought he was about to die.

Luckily Lloyd took the moment of distraction to drive an energy ball into Nash's chest. Panicked as he was, he could probably have launched a rocket with green energy alone. Nash flew back and skidded several meters. He lay still, crackling with leftover energy and sending up plumes of smoke.

Then he _got back up._ His dark silhouette reared up from the floor again, his glowing eyes locked on the two ninja frozen in the tunnel, and suddenly those glowing eyes were shooting forward like the headlights of some demon freight train, headed straight for them.

There wasn't even time to react. Jay shut his eyes and threw his arms over his head. There was a horrible scraping _crack!,_ and for a second he wondered if that was the sound of his spine being snapped. Then when he realized he was still alive he was seized with panic that it was _Lloyd's_ spine being snapped. Then he finally opened his eyes. Lloyd was still lying next to him, unharmed. Just beyond his feet a wall of stone spikes had suddenly appeared. They bristled from the floor, ceiling, and walls, creating a mesh of impassible stone.

Out of the corner of his eye Jay saw Cole, one hand still up, panting.

"Should've impaled him," he gritted.

Lloyd flopped back, looking dizzy.

"Easy, we're okay." Jay reached over to pull Lloyd up off the floor, and the green ninja heaved himself up dutifully. Jay could still feel him shaking. Or maybe that was himself. Hard to say.

"The ceiling is thin nearby," said Cole. "I can pull it down and we can get—"

Without warning part of the stalagmite wall burst open, and a hissing mass of teeth exploded through, nearly closing over Lloyd's leg. With a yell the ninja shot down the mine, bowling into Kai.

" _Next time you guard the spot!_ " he shouted at Cole. Ignoring him, Cole pulled down the ceiling with one yank of his powers, and they scrabbled over rubble to get out into the cold night air. Jay could still hear snapping and snarling and the crumbling of rock in the mine below, and he knew it was probably a matter of seconds before Nash writhed his way completely through the stone mesh and came barreling after them again.

It took them all a few seconds to get their dragons working. They could hear gunshots ringing from inside the mine, but they didn't wait around for Nash to shoot his way through the mesh and catch up to them.

Jay made the trip in an exhausted, pain-soaked daze. He only registered his surroundings when he found himself sprawled on the deck of the _Bounty_. The others were beside him, panting. His head was pounding, his right leg felt like it had been branded, and his right foot was forebodingly sticky and wet. Sweat dripped into his eyes.

He could hear Nya having a minor heart attack over their half-dead condition. Wu and Misako were speaking urgently too. Everyone sounded very far away, muffled. He couldn't bring himself to concentrate on their voices.

Only Kai's voice seemed close by, hoarse but right by his ear.

"So we failed."

He groaned and shut his eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, it takes a lot to get Nash past methodical and into "Jurassic Park" mode. So I guess the ninja can claim they have that achievement.**

 **By the way, the emphasis in "Natanka" is placed on the second syllable, not the first. Like "Natasha." Same with "croopneechek," come to think. Fine time to be quibbling over pronunciation I guess, but** —

 **Oh, and I'll soon be putting up a new one-shot in "Backstage with Jay"—a little extra footage of those four Technicians capturing Zane. What can I say, I'm meaner than I look.**


	69. Rip in Pepperonis

**Heh, well, a lot of people asked what FNAN stood for in the last chapter, so I'll just explain it for everyone! It's Five Nights at Nash's, a spin on FNAF, Five Nights at Freddy's. Which is** **a reprehensible series of horror games that are also about evil chompy things boinging through the dark. :P**

 **o.o.o.o.o**

 **Fire Oreo: Well, the odds aren't lookin' too good!  
Mm-hm; the only entity the ninja ever really killed is the Overlord, and he's a good bit less gruesome about it.  
Heh, I'm glad you noticed that! "Potato" is Cole's favorite term of endearment. Second favorite is "peanut," third "carrot." Are you seeing a pattern here? Because Cole doesn't. XP  
Haha, don't worry, I don't think you and your friend are the same person. :) It's really cool to hear you know each other!  
**

 **Guest (Who I think is Jens?): Woah! I'm not overdoing it, am I?  
Clever like a raptor, chomps like a T-rex, poison like a Dilophosaurus. Rawr! (Though to be honest I've only seen that movie myself once, as a kid, and I didn't really like it. :P)  
Again, really neat to meetcha both!  
It would appear Natanka's cool with Nash right now . . . although if the ninja find her it'll be another story altogether.  
Kai's a moody one sometimes. ^_^''  
**

 **TheAmberShadow: Thanks for the review! Haha, yeah, Serpentine have stomachs like crocodiles! They can digest steel nails. And do so, when they want to show off. :P  
Hep, that drive is a goner. Finito. Doomed. Down the showers.  
She could just be very good at double-crossing, ya know!  
**

 **Zaptrap: Haha, thanks! Yeah, Nash is not really good at handling failure. He wants those ninja eliminated, and he's failed like . . . I dunno, three or four times at least by now. It kinda makes him unreasonable.  
I actually did kill someone! Zane. He be ded. :(**

 **AnonWriter: As explained above. ^_^**

 **Monranr: Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Sept 26**

 **5:44 AM**

 **Status conditions: Nya, Lloyd, Jay, Cole lightly wounded, Zane destroyed**

* * *

Jay awoke disoriented and stiff. His head was pounding, he was sore all over, and his leg felt like it didn't belong to him. What had happened again?

Oh.

The numb feeling of loss was all too familiar. They'd all had practice, actually. It felt like so long ago, though—he'd forgotten how hard it was to summon the will to get out of bed, go on living your life.

He convinced himself to sit up. He was in the bunkroom, and the others were still asleep, ignoring the murky light of dawn. There was a bandage over his right leg, almost up to the knee. He could feel a stinging stripe of flesh underneath, so apparently a bullet really had grazed him last night. Presumably it hadn't actually stayed embedded; he was pretty sure he'd have been aware of the extraction.

Also pretty sure that Zane's neural drive was gone by now.

He limped into the kitchen. Nya was sitting at the table, clutching a mug of coffee and staring through the tabletop. Misako was there too, one hand atop Nya's. Jay hesitated, wondering if he was interrupting anything.

"Oh, you're up." Nya looked up, and Jay winced. She looked utterly destroyed; clearly she'd done no sleeping and a lot of crying.

"Are you okay?" he asked reflexively, then mentally kicked himself. What kind of a question was that? At a time like this nobody was okay.

"I'll be fine." Nya gave a rickety smile. "Just . . . I'm tired."

Jay nodded, unsure of how to reply. Some silence.

"So," said Nya. "This is . . . really not a question I want to be asking . . . "

Jay looked up from fetching Mopp from the sink, bracing himself.

"What do we . . . well, what do we do with Zane?" asked Nya. "We still have his body. Most of his memories are probably still intact in there. PIXAL's still _alive_ in there. We can't just . . . no matter what I think of it feels wrong. We can't bury him. We can't just _keep_ him like this, it just feels . . . "

"Disrespectful, I know," said Jay.

"Yeah." Nya rested her head in her hands. Jay sat down on the other side of her.

"What does PIXAL say?"

"She won't say anything," said Nya. "Not since last night. I don't know if she's actually gone into hibernation or if she just can't bear to talk. Or maybe she doesn't want us to worry about what's going to happen to her, trapped inside Zane like that."

"We've got to do something about that."

"I know. We'll have to talk to Dr. Borg."

They both sighed, wondering if even Borg would have any answers. Weird bits of PIXAL were missing now. And then there was the question of prying her out of . . . wherever she was in Zane's circuits. Cor. Poor girl.

"So . . . how about this," said Jay. "What if we put him on the cot in the spare room? We could put a sheet over him and everything, like . . . you know, like in morgues. That would sort of be halfway in between, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, that could work."

Nya didn't sound happy about it. But then, there weren't really any options worth being happy about.

"Can you help me move him?" she said. "He's heavy, and I don't want to just drag him along the floor, you know?"

"Sure."

Jay stood and followed after Nya. He'd thought they were going to her workroom, so he was surprised when Nya turned into the control room instead.

"I moved him here while you guys were out last night," she said. "I was losing my mind in between your check-ins, so PIXAL and I kept each other company. Till she shut down." She looked at the floor. "I was repairing some of his bullet damage too, but I guess there wasn't much point . . . "

Jay stifled a shiver when he saw the Nindroid sitting in the corner of the room, as stiff and blank-faced as ever. Tools were strewn around him, and a few of his dents had been smoothed out a little. Jay took a deep breath.

"Hey." He squeezed Nya's hand. "He'll still need that someday. We'll figure out a replacement neural drive. Dr. Julien invented it all alone, you know. Or PIXAL did when she upgraded the Nindroid blueprints. Between her, you, me, and Dr. Borg, we'll reverse-engineer it. You know we can."

Nya swallowed, not looking up.

They approached the Nindroid with the same unease usually afforded to actual dead bodies. Zane's arm was still twitching. By now his shoulder joint had worn down and started to creak, a steady metallic peeping sound.

"Let me oil that," said Nya.

Jay was grateful. It would be freaking terrifying to walk around the _Bounty_ hearing a dead Nindroid creaking in the next room all the time. Just the thought of him lying there in the dark, just _twitching_ , twitching eternally, was already more than he wanted to think about.

As Nya hunted up an oilcan, Jay timidly tapped Zane's other shoulder.

"PIXAL? Pix, you in there?"

No reply.

"Well, okay," said Jay sadly. "But, just in case you can hear us—we're going to put Zane in the spare room, under a sheet, until we have a better idea of how to fix him or get you out. Are you going to be okay like that?"

Still no reply. Jay looked anxiously to Nya.

"If she did hear you, she must be okay with it, or she'd have replied," said Nya heavily. "If she didn't hear you, she's really shut down, and being alone won't bother her anyway."

"I guess." Jay bit his lip.

They were both so skittish you'd think Zane was made of live coals, but eventually they worked out a decent way of carrying him. They set him carefully on the cot, and Jay soberly spread a sheet over the Nindroid's twitching form. They stepped back.

"I guess we're done? . . . " said Nya.

"I guess."

They both turned as if heading for the door, but halfway through the motion they stopped. Their eyes met, and abruptly Nya staggered into Jay and grabbed the back of his shirt in both fists, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I know." Jay hugged her tightly. "Me too."

Keening softly, Mopp clambered from his hood and nestled on Nya's shoulder. Jay heard a familiar purring sound and smiled sadly, hoping it did Nya as much good as it always did him.

* * *

The morning passed by in a numb, disoriented haze. Nobody ate much breakfast. Nobody said anything about training, not even Sensei Wu.

"So," said Cole at last.

Then he didn't say anything for a while.

"We have to keep going," said Lloyd. "The Technicians aren't going anywhere. We can't afford to lose focus. We can mourn when it's over."

"And after a couple of snakes have paid," muttered Kai.

Jay looked around. Right now he mostly just wanted to crawl back into bed and not move for the longest time. Judging from the others' expressions they were feeling about the same. But that wasn't really an option.

"So . . . what's the plan?" he said.

"I'll get started on the smartphones," said Nya hesitantly. "I should be able to check them over in a couple of days. We'll be able to handle missions better once those are ready."

"In the meantime, we need to find a good lead," said Cole. "So far throwing ourselves at Technician bases has gone . . . horribly is not even the word. We need a weakness we can exploit before we try anything else."

"We might have something," said Kai.

"Does this have something to do with last night?" said Cole. "All that blood . . . Natanka said somebody died?"

"Yeah. This one snake I used to know, Eycho," said Kai. "Nash stabbed him in the gut. We tried to save him, but . . . "

Jay snuck a glance at Lloyd, whose eyes had dropped to the tabletop. Poor kid. He'd seen death before, but nothing that gory.

"He told us something interesting, though," said Kai. "An address and some kind of code. He said it would be revenge on Nash for stabbing him."

"Are you sure you want to trust this guy?" said Cole. "I mean, look at what Natanka did to us."

"He was dying on the floor." Lloyd's voice was hard. "I don't think he'd be interested in double-crossing at the moment."

Cole didn't reply. There was still a clear flicker of doubt in his eyes, but he didn't press the matter. The event had doubtless been traumatic for both Lloyd and Kai, and he didn't want to work them up by suggesting it had all been a trick.

"He told us about this place called Hombrito's," said Kai. "Apparently in the back room there's a guy called Dexter, and if we tell him some special codes he'll do . . . something."

"Special codes?" Cole tilted his head.

"Eight five four, A and B," said Lloyd, before Kai could even open his mouth. "There have to be two of us, he said. It sounds like it must be a pairs thing."

"What kind of code works in pairs?" said Nya. "And what is this Hombrito's place? Is it a drug dealer's?"

"I don't think so," said Kai. "I used to hear about it when I was at the Slither Pit in Yang's Tavern, but I never actually went there. It's on the corner of Madison and Fourth, so that's actually really close to the tavern itself. It might even be connected through the back entrance—a lot of small shops were."

"Is there a way we could check what it is before we go there?" asked Cole, still unhappy.

"It might be on maps online," said Nya. "At least, if it's any kind of registered business. I can turn the internet back on . . . Just let me disconnect our security system and webcam first. I'm getting paranoid."

They gathered in the control room as Nya carefully shut down the connections between the computer and any kind of video or audio device. Then she flicked the router back on.

A few seconds as the internet connection booted up. Then the control room was suddenly filled with a shrill _beep beep beep beep!_

"Email." Nya went pale.

Everyone looked at everyone else.

"Maybe it's just spam," said Nya at last. She opened the email folder. There were in fact a few spam messages, but there was also one from an unknown address, with strong language in the subject line.

"Don't open it," said Jay. "Please. Don't."

"Don't," said Lloyd.

Nya ran a hand through her hair and looked at the others. At last she heaved a deep sigh and turned back to the computer.

"I'm sorry guys. We have to know."

She opened the email. It was clearly a product of rage.

 _All right you meddling idiots, YOU MADE ME. I am so done with you I can't even. You think I'm happy about this? I TRIED to give you a chance! I did it for you! You could have just stayed out of this and everything would be fine in the end, but nooooo. You HAVE to go poking your noses into our business again._

 _I didn't want to kill anyone. This whole plan was so I WOULDN'T need to have your deaths on my conscience. And you know what now? Now I have to kill one of your friends myself. THANKS A LOT._

 _But I'm not backing out of this one. I said I'd wreck the drive, and that's what I'm gonna do. And yeah, I know that means I won't have anything to threaten you with anymore. I don't care anymore, I'm THAT done. Go ahead. Come right in here. Make yourselves at home. I hope Blue kills you all slowly and painfully._

 _Your friend is offically dead. I hope you're happy._

The world just kind of darkened around Jay. He was dimly aware of Lloyd walking out and slamming the door halfway through the email. Everyone else just drifted off or something. He wasn't sure; heck, he was barely paying attention to where _he_ was. They'd kind of pushed the reality of the situation to the backs of their minds for a moment, trying to focus on pushing ahead instead, but the email shoved the truth into their faces all over again. It was a lot to take.

Kai found him at the park, chucking brick-sized rocks into the pond. If not for the skloshing and the rippling of algae, Kai probably wouldn't have found him at all; that corner of the pond was surrounded by trees and overgrown bushes.

"What?" he said bitterly when he saw Kai. The red ninja shrugged, his hands in his pockets.

"You shouldn't be alone. You heard what Silica said, Nash has free rein to hunt us down now."

"Whatever." Jay cast about for another rock, scowling. You'd think this pond had insulted him personally.

"Should I go?" asked Kai.

"I dunno." Jay scrounged up a chunk of concrete the size of a bowling ball. He hefted it over his head and hurled it into a patch of pond weeds, sending up a spout of murky green water. Out of rocks, he glared at the gurgling ripples till they died away. Then he let out a long, shaky breath and sat down, not looking at Kai.

"Yeah . . . You should go."

Kai mulled it over. After a moment he stepped closer instead and sat down next to Jay, crossing his legs. Jay wiped his eyes and tried to ignore him.

"We screwed up, huh?" said Kai at last.

"Twice," said Jay thickly. "We let him down _twice._ "

"Yeah."

"And this time it was for nothing." Jay rested his arms on his knees. "Last time he defeated the Golden Master. He saved all of Ninjago. Now he just—he's just gone. It hasn't made a difference. There wasn't even any _point_."

"He deserved better," agreed Kai.

"He deserved better than _us._ We screwed up EVERYTHING. It's our fault he's dead." Jay swiped at his eyes again, chagrined. He hated crying. He could never figure out why he made such a hobby of it. Why couldn't he be like Kai? Kai never cried. Cole hadn't in years. Lloyd probably hadn't since he was ten, not even when his father died. And then here was Jay, pathetic as usual. With a wuss like that for a teammate no wonder Zane hadn't made it.

"We did our best," said Kai. "We were trying to save him."

"I should have been able to think of something." Jay sniffed involuntarily. "I should have invented something to track the neural drive, or—or stopped the deadlock before Natanka found us, or— _something_. We could have saved him. We just blew it again, just like we couldn't save him from the Overlord. I—I can't do this all over again, I can't, I _can't_ —"

"Woah, easy. Easy." Kai's warm hand landed on his shoulder. "Don't go down that rabbit hole, okay? We tried. And Zane would know we tried. He was always like that, right? He'd just want us to keep doing our jobs, protecting Ninjago. Taking down the Technicians."

"As if. They're going to win."

"And after what they did to Zane you're going to let them?"

Jay took his first full breath in sixty-eight seconds and started to sob.

"Geez, geez." Kai tugged on his shoulder, pulling him close enough to wrap an arm around. "C'mon, you're okay. Shhh. Relax, breathe."

Jay coughed, unable to speak. He was furious with himself and Kai and the world as a whole, but there was precious little he could do about it. He didn't sense any judgment from Kai, though, so for a while he just leaned into the smoky-scented warmth of his brother's hug and let himself cry.

Eventually he wound down. Kai waited patiently for him to steady out his breathing.

"You know, there's one thing that's at least a little better," he said. "We're still together this time. Nobody's fighting, nobody's leaving. We can at least, y'know, stuff each other's brains back in."

"Yeah . . . " Jay sniffed. "I guess Zane would like that."

"You know he would. He was always all about the teamwork, y'know?" Kai gave Jay's shoulder a final squeeze and pulled away. He hesitated before adding, "And you know, it's—well, maybe it's almost better this way. He was a Nindroid, you know. He wouldn't die of old age. Now he doesn't have to watch _us_ die."

"You really know how to cheer a guy up, Kai," said Jay, mopping his face with his sleeve.

"Sorry." Kai gave him an awkward smile. "But it's true, you know? He won't be left alone. And this time, neither will we."

"I guess." Jay sighed. " . . . Thanks."

"Sure," said Kai quietly.

They sat in silence for a while. It _was_ just a little better, Jay told himself. He had vague, partially-blocked memories of how crushingly miserable it had been the first time Zane died. Waking up alone, distracting himself with work and fame and anger, going to bed early every night with a dose of sleeping pills so he wouldn't lie awake having _thoughts_. Being miserable together instead of alone had to count for something.

"How's everyone else?" he said after a moment.

"Hiding in corners. I think Cole just went to bed. Nya's with Sensei . . . I don't even know where Lloyd is."

"You don't think he's doing anything stupid?"

"Nah. The kid has a head on his shoulders. Heck, he handled it better than the rest of us put together the first time."

"Yeah."

They stayed by the pond till evening. Kai dozed in the grass. Sometimes they exchanged a few words.

"I guess Zane's statue is gonna be relevant again, huh?" said Jay, thinking of the titanium monument not too far away.

"I guess," said Kai. "He was always a little squeamish about it, though."

"I'll say." Jay chuckled softly. "You remember, it took him ages to figure out it was even a statue of _him?_ "

"I remember," said Kai. "We were all excited to see his reaction, and he just looks at it for the longest time, and finally he says—"

"'It's very nice. Who is it of?'" Jay smiled.

"Yep," said Kai. "And I seem to remember somebody wanted to tell him it was a statue of a Starfarer dweeb."

"Excuse you, it was Chancellor Kraav," said Jay. "And I would have told him the truth eventually."

"Surrrrre."

"Oh, come on! Have I ever led someone permanently astray?"

". . . Lloyd _still_ thinks he has a genetic inability to play the kazoo."

Jay huffed.

"Well, that's . . . different."

"Yeah?"

"Lying to Zane is harder. I mean, it was really easy, he'd believe anything, but . . . that's what made it harder. I mean—"

"No, I get what you mean. Yeah."

Dusk fell in earnest. The air grew chilly, and the grass grew wet with dew.

"We should get home," said Kai at last.

"I guess . . . " Jay sighed, oddly reluctant. It was nice knowing they wouldn't be dealing with Zane's loss alone, but at the same time he almost didn't want to return to the ship to be with everyone else. Out here he was almost, nearly at peace, but he knew the others were probably still taking it hard, and going home would mean seeing everyone miserable. Selfish as that sounded, even in his head.

It was at this point that a rock suddenly flew from the bushes and struck the back of Kai's head.

* * *

 **A/N: Yang's Tavern is the place's legit name, if you take _A Team Divided_ as canon. (Which I do. :P) Not sure if it's supposed to be named after Sensei Yang, but it would be pretty cool if it was, huh?**


	70. Clever Girl

**Jens: What can I say, people seem to have trouble believing I'd kill someone off. I maintain a very convincing façade of gentle innocence. XP  
Kai is one of the best if you're feeling sad, yep. Right now he's a little busy getting hit by rocks, though. :P  
I dunno, man! Maybe Ninjago's gravity is stronger or something. When you hang off a cliff there, you REALLY hang off a cliff. XD  
Thanks for the review!**

 **TheAmberShadow: Thennnnn, what~? :3  
Oh dear. Sorry I ruined your sandwich. ^_^''  
Ooooh, interesting! I'm with you there, I don't think a robot with that much capacity for love could be soulless. And I know you've read Ship of Theseus, so if you've read Skylark's other stuff, you know she's got her own theories about Zane's soul. So does StoneByrd!**

 **Monranr: Jay himself would probably call it being a wuss. But you can't really hold it against the poor creature. ^_^''  
Awww, gosh. ^_^'' Thanks very much for the review!**

 **Meme me: Huh, any relation to mememe?  
Yeah, they keen all the time. It's kind of an all-purpose sound, like a squeal but with less throat. They don't pop though, definitely. Nobody pops Jay's aliens. He'd have objections. :P**

 **Fire Oreo: Well, if Jay and Nya and PIXAL and Dr. Borg can be very cunning, they might have a chance! Someday.  
Another guest reviewer did suggest that he's got the equivalent of a human soul and would eventually die himself, though. And if he continued to do ninja shenanigans he might be destroyed instead.  
Yeah, Lloyd's not taking it too well. Kai mayyyyy have been a little optimistic about how well Lloyd was handling the blow . . .  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Zaptrap: Yikes! Are you okay? Gosh, I wasn't aiming for _that_ upsetting. :S**

 **Guest: It's hard to define. He's not dead like a human would be dead, because if you put his neural drive back in forty years later he would still work perfectly. But since the drive is gone, and it's not certain if Jay and the others will be able to build a new one, for all intents and purposes Zane's legit dead.**

 **Guest 2: No worries! Oh my goodness, I'm sorry to hear that. :S  
It's the ninja business, I guess. Bound to be traumatic.  
Heh, I'll tell him. :) Kai's always vacillating between being a moody, pessimistic shmurg and being Brother of the Year. One mode is the recharge phase for the other. :P  
Man, kidnapping would be pretty exciting, but I don't know how much more bad stuff these small ninja dorks can take. Maybe later. :P Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Sept 26**

 **7:20 PM**

 **Status conditions: Nya, Lloyd, Jay, Cole lightly wounded, Zane destroyed**

* * *

It took a few seconds for Jay to snap out of his shock. Kai was already scrambling to his feet, one hand pressed to the back of his head. They both squinted into the shadowy bushes.

A dark glinting form suddenly broke from the speckled gray mass of leaves.

" _Die che spokuy,_ what does it _take_ to get your attention—"

Two seconds later Kai and Jay had already thrown themselves at the snake and slammed her to the ground.

"Youuuuu double-crossing—" gritted Kai, snatching for his dagger. Natanka gave a frightened squeal, squirming out from under Jay. She tried to run, but Kai tackled her in turn, knocking aside her flailing claws and groping for the dagger he'd just dropped.

"No, stop! Stop! Please!" yelped Natanka. "I have the drive, I _have the drive!_ Stop!"

Kai froze.

"What did you say? . . . "

"Your friend's brain, I have it," said Natanka breathlessly. "Let me go."

Kai's eyes narrowed. He looked to Jay, who shook his head.

"Hold still," said Kai shortly to the snake. "We'll go through your pockets ourselves."

"All right, all right," grumbled Natanka, a little recovered now that her life didn't seem to be in immediate danger. "It's in the third pocket from the right."

Jay checked that pocket of Natanka's utility belt, a little squeamish. He imagined this must feel rather violating to a snake, even a crazy dubiously-trustworthy one.

His fingers met cool metal. His heart fluttered as he gingerly drew the device out. Sure enough—a small, flat, metal box, crisscrossed with silicon tracks and studded with connection ports. Colored wires winked dimly from inside.

"Is that it?" Kai's voice was sharp with suppressed hope.

"I-I think this is it." Jay's head spun. "I think this is it!"

"Dear fizzims . . . " Kai slid off Natanka and onto the ground, looking dazed. "You're serious?"

"Of course it's the right thing," grunted Natanka, sitting up gingerly. "You think I'd come wandering around looking for you if it weren't? _Eedsheh._ I like your gratitude."

"I . . . We thought . . . How did you . . . " Kai started. "You're hurt!"

Jay noticed for the first time that there was dark blood smeared down Natanka's side. She brought up her hand to cover the wound under her left arm, as if it embarrassed her.

"Leave it. I tangled with some snakes loyal to Nash."

"No, let us help," said Kai.

"But—"

"I could ask you one favor, though," said Natanka. Kai glanced to Jay, then turned back to Natanka and nodded.

"Name it."

Natanka abruptly took him by the shirt and pulled him almost nose-to-nose with her.

"Kill me."

" _What?_ "

"You're ninja, you know how to do it painlessly, right?" Natanka's grip didn't loosen. "Starr must have told the chief what I did. His entire crew is looking for me."

Her expression indicated she was dead serious. Kai blinked at her for a few seconds, then pulled free.

"We're not going to kill you."

"You don't understand!" Natanka lurched to her feet, her eyes desperate. "You don't know what he does to traitors. You don't know how good he is at finding them. I'm dead either way. I'd rather die quickly, easily. Please."

"Just a moment ago you were yelling for us not to hurt you!" said Kai. "You clearly don't want to die."

"It's not a question of wanting! I tell you, you don't—"

"I _do_ understand," said Kai sharply. "I dealt with the slobber trade too, you know. I'm sure I saw a lot less than you, but I already know what you can look forward to. I totally know how hard it is to hide from Nash. But you've _got_ to. You deserve to live."

Natanka swore at him extensively in Dranuhovian. Jay caught a "you can't even do this for me" somewhere in the midst of it, and towards the end some strangled yipping that didn't sound like part of the language. He saw Kai's expression and remembered Junior when they'd left him. Oh shoot.

"No, shhh, get a hold of yourself," said Kai gently, taking Natanka's shoulders. "Shhh, listen. You're going to live, okay? I swear. We'll help you hide. There's got to be some way to escape him, at least long enough for us to take Nash and his entire ring down."

"You're insane," muttered Natanka, but laid off the swearing. She was shaking violently, shrinking into herself. Clearly she wasn't as numb to the prospect of death as she'd had Jay and Cole believe.

"Come on," said Kai. "We should get moving before Nash's crew really does find us. We'll get that wound taken care of."

* * *

They ended up in the exact same 24-hour clinic where they'd taken Kai for his rabies shots. Natanka, by now recovered, sat stoically as her wound was cleaned and bandaged, while Kai and Jay guarded the door, weapons drawn. The PA doing the bandaging seemed pretty excited about participating in these clearly hardcore intrigues.

"So, how did you get the drive?" said Kai, glancing over his shoulder. "We thought . . . well, when Nash showed up . . . "

"I should have known you'd think that." Natanka laughed drily. "I managed to get the drive's location out of the snake in your picture. It was not easy, but with some bribery and, uh . . . pugilism, I got her to tell. I was going to tell you, but then I saw Nash walking into the mine. I thought, eh, very sad, especially about the poor little _croopneechek_ , but there was nothing I could do. I thought I had better start running myself, because Starr or Rinker would tell on me. Just like _they_ probably told on you." She glared a little.

"We should have thought of that," said Kai sheepishly. "We're sorry."

Natanka huffed, but without actual venom.

"Understandable conclusion, I guess. Anyway. I was already starting to head out, but then I see your dragons flying away. I don't know _how_ you escaped the chief, but damn, you did."

"See, it is possible to escape him," said Jay. "I did twice."

"Huh." Natanka shook her head. "I hate to think of the ways he'll kill you once he does catch you. He'll probably bring you back to life a few times just so he can use all of them."

Jay gulped. Kai elbowed him lightly and nodded for Natanka to continue.

"So, seeing you were still alive but I couldn't reach you, I went for drive myself. I thought maybe I better hurry, since you said they would destroy it fast. I found this Silica's place, and I looked through the window. And she was there, and she was really angry. She was standing up and sitting down and walking all over the room. Sometimes she would type really fast, little things on her computer. I think it was a . . . what you call? Online messenger."

"She must have been talking with Nash or CapsLock about our break-in, and the drive," said Kai. "Did she send any emails?"

"Maybe? She did type a long time, once, and I think she was crying."

"We are dealing with a realllllly strange person," muttered Kai.

"I guess that means she really _didn't_ want to hurt Zane, though," said Jay. "You almost have to feel for her."

"Almost." Kai snorted.

"Finally she slams the computer shut," continued Natanka, "and she pulls open this safe and gets little box out of it. And she takes out this little metal thing and looks at it for a really long time, and she's having this really hard time making up her mind. I could tell. And then finally she comes outside—I hide quick—and I hear her throw the drive in the trash can. Then she slams the door. I go quick, dig the drive out, and start looking for you. It took me all day, what with dodging the chief's friends coming after me."

"And then you found us?" said Jay.

"And then I found you."

Natanka settled back, offering an irritated hiss to the PA, who'd been listening so intently that she'd started to wrap the bandages a little too tight.

"I can't tell you how much this means to us," said Kai quietly. "We owe you like forever. If there's anything we can do for you, just ask."

"Anything except kill me," said Natanka wryly. The PA raised her eyebrows.

"Except that," said Kai, giving her a wry smile back.

"Ah, you were right, though," said Natanka, heaving herself to her feet. "I do want to live. Now and then I think I actually might."

"You will," said Kai. "I know some places we can take you. Or you could come stay on the _Bounty_ with us!"

"Ech, no, no flying ship for me." Natanka wrinkled her nose in distaste. "I wouldn't stand it with you _jeevatsih_. I thought of good place, I'll go there. If you could maybe give me a ride on your dragon, though? . . . "

"Of course," said Kai.

"So, question," said Jay as they left the clinic. "What does Silica look like?"

"Eh, I didn't see much," said Natanka. "The room was dark, I only saw her silhouette against the computer screen. But I think she has dark hair."

"Brown or black?"

" _Bau sheh toh p'yes,_ how should I know? But you know, one thing that was strange—" Natanka's head shot up as something clattered in a nearby alley. Kai and Jay also snapped to attention.

"Probably just a cat?" said Jay hopefully.

"Probably. But I think we should go." Kai jerked his head sharply down the street. "Jay, get back to the _Bounty_ , get the drive into Zane. I'll take Natanka."

Heart pounding, Jay summoned his dragon and took off, trying not to flap as fast as he really, really wanted to. He heard scuffling and some angry shouting behind him, but when he craned his head around, Kai's dragon was flapping away safely and there was only a dark figure slinking back into the alley. He gulped and faced forward again. Someone really had been after Natanka—or after all of them—but they'd gotten away safely. He just hoped the Technicians didn't have use of a plane or something.

He reached the _Bounty_ , which was slowly drifting over the countryside. It was almost ten PM by now, and everyone had apparently gone to bed, because all the lights were out. As soon as Jay stepped through the door, he could _feel_ the grief in the air, like stifling heat. He almost physically took a step back. He'd forgotten—nobody else knew about the drive yet.

He considered, then decided he'd wait to tell anyone until he was sure this really was the drive and it really was undamaged. He found Mopp was awake, sitting in the sink looking miserable, so he took the alien with him.

"Look good to you?" he whispered, holding the drive up. Mopp chirped and tilted himself curiously. He seemed to sense Jay's excitement and approve.

Jay snuck some tools into the spare room and gently propped Zane up in the cot, forgetting to even be nervous. Within a few minutes he might be alive again. Jay could barely contain himself.

He obeyed the full diligence of paranoia, however. The drive might have been tampered with. It might have viruses installed, or even a bomb. Or it might be just plain broken.

Hands trembling with eagerness, he carefully examined the drive from every side, even using a magnifying glass. It was exactly the right size and shape to fit in the slot in Zane's head. The connection ports were in exactly the right places. There was no visible sign of tampering, no dents or scuffs or smoothed-out bends in the metal. There were some coffee grounds on one corner though, backing up Natanka's story about the drive being in the trash. Nose wrinkled, Jay carefully brushed them off. Mopp watched solemnly from one side, supervising the procedure.

Finally Jay ran out of checks to perform. There was only one thing left to do. Holding his breath, Jay switched off the power in Zane's chest panel, carefully slid the neural drive into its slot, and turned the power back on.

There was a faint crunch of electronics. Jay watched, his breath shallow. This was vaguely akin to the feeling when something's gone terribly wrong with your computer, and you think you might have fixed it, and you're waiting for it to reboot and praying that when it finally turns on everything will be back to normal. Only in this case the computer is also your family.

More whispering as drives and fans came to life. Suddenly Zane's eyelids snapped closed and open a few times, loud in the silence. His eyes blinked on. His expression shifted from blank to intensely focused. Jay drew in an enormous breath—

—Which was good, because one second later he was flat on his back, Zane's hands tight around his throat.

* * *

 **A/N:** **I realllllly need to stop faking out character deaths. Nobody's gonna believe me once I really do start populating the mortuary.**

 **And while I'm at it I should quit the cliffies! Gah, sorry guys. I promise the next chapter will NOT end in a cliffhanger.**


	71. Come at Me, Bro

***Air horn***

 **Over one thousannnnnnnnnd! YOU GUYS!**

 **I have to say thank you like a million times to all of you; you've been incredibly generous with your time and comments. It's the best feeling ever to know that people are enjoying what I write! I hope you continue to enjoy this story too.**

 **So, after this chapter we're gonna have a bit of a celebration to thank you guys! But first, I think I'd better get poor Jay out of that stranglehold.**

* * *

 **TheAmberShadow: Alive but homicidal! Are we all prepared to deal with Zane the Terminator? :P  
Yeah, things looked incriminating for a bit there, but Natanka was always on their side.  
Crazy, maybe, though not for the reasons you might expect. ^_^''  
Haha, awesome. Thanks for the review!**

 **Monranr: Yay! Glad it helps. ^_^ Hehe, man, you guys are hard to snow.**

 **Fire Oreo: Zane lives! :) Heh, thank you!  
Oooh, that's a good spelling! Throw in enough O's and only the E is missing, so Cole is even closer to cool! I'm gonna have to remember that one. :)  
Whoooooooooo! Thanks! Oh, you bet** **—** **gonna open those right at the end of this chapter!  
Thanks for the review on Myrtleberries, too. Ahw, Garmy. T_T  
**

 **Jens: You saw through me, huh? ^_^  
Well, he's sure trying! Jay's a dang ninja though, he should know how to get out of being strangled. _Should_.  
Ooh, both very viable theories! One of 'em is right, though now I kinda wish I'd tried the other one, it would be cool. XD  
Both of them, really! But mostly Natanka. :)  
Argh, yeah, I've been neglecting the poor aliens lately. This story is supposed to be _about_ them, for crying out loud. XD  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Zaptrap: Good to know. Heh, as Samukai once said, "if we'd wanted to kill him, we'd have used a bigger rock."  
NUUUUUUUR! Jay-dot-EXE lives! Don't hurt meh! XD Seriously though, cool filter. How do you get that?  
Haha, there have actually been fanfictions where the protagonist dies, but I'm not giving away whether I plan to join their ranks. ;) Hamilton ftw, by the way! Got a favorite song?**

 **Kairocksrainbows: Oh, hi! Thanks!**

 **Zoodirektor: HAI! (And some fish to feed it with!) Ahh, I think you might be giving Silica (and me) a little too much credit. She's not _that_ cunning. ^_^'' She's actually pretty bad at this whole "villain" thing** **—** **she just knows a lot about computers, so she came up with the plan to do evil computer stuff. She has no clue how to carry the plan out or stop interference from the "good guys." That's why she recruited CapsLock and Nash.  
Anyways, she certainly didn't expect anyone to be lurking around outside waiting to dig the drive out of the trash; tomorrow was trash day, she thought the drive was as good as destroyed. Without actually destroying it herself, because she doesn't have the guts for that. ^_^''  
**

 **Guest 1: Nuuuu! Don't leave! You'll miss the party at the end of the chapter! :P Heh, thanks for the review!**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks! Well, no more cliffies this time, I promise. ^_^''**

 **Guest 2: Thanks for the review! You got it. :)**

 **Ninjagorulz: Eeeee! Thank you! ^_^ So glad you're enjoying.**

* * *

 **Sept 26**

 **10:20 PM**

 **Status conditions: Zoinks!**

* * *

"What the heck?!" Jay tried to yelp, but no sound came out. Zane's hands were cold and hard and unbelievably strong. If Cole and Kai had learned how to shake off a strangler with varying degrees of success, Jay had learned practically nothing. His first response was a reflex, and one that Sensei Wu would have scowled upon as terribly unreliable: he simply began to kick as hard as he could.

Luckily it worked. He made contact with Zane's midriff and succeeded in beating him back just a little. The Nindroid blinked, his hands relaxing slightly. Then all at once he leaped off Jay like a cat dropped onto a sprinkler.

"Jay!" he gasped, looking horrified. The blue ninja coughed, sucking in huge gulps of air and feeling gingerly at his neck. Amazingly, nothing seemed to be damaged. He eyed Zane uneasily in between gasps.

"Jay, I'm so sorry." The Nindroid's eyes were wide. "I—the last thing I remembered was being attacked. I thought you were one of the Technicians."

"Ya sure?" Jay scooted back a little. "They didn't install some kind of aggression virus on you?"

"No, I—I don't—I don't know—how am I—"

He looked ready to cry. Feeling a little guilty, Jay clambered to his feet and went over to pat his arm gingerly.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. Still in fight mode, huh?"

"I really am sorry. I thought I was still in the mining complex."

Suddenly there was a whir of static, and PIXAL's scratchy voice came through.

"I just thought I should let you know, Jay—I ran a full scan of the neural drive now that I'm back in one piece. There is no viral content."

"Wh-what's happening?!" Zane started.

"I'll be leaving these speakers now." PIXAL sounded a tiny bit amused. "Welcome back, Zane."

The speakers cut out with a pop. Jay raised his eyebrows—he hadn't known PIXAL was capable of sounding that . . . sultry? That was almost the word for it.

"Uhm—" said Zane plaintively. Jay let out his breath and threw himself at the increasingly bewildered Nindroid, hugging him tight.

"I can't believe you're okayyyyy . . . "

"Uh . . . thank you?" said Zane, awkwardly putting his arms around Jay in return. Apparently Lloyd had taught him standard protocol.

"How are you feeling?" Jay pulled back and held the Nindroid's shoulders, looking him over. "Everything there? Everything running?"

"I think so? All programs seem to be functioning . . . all files are intact . . . " Zane flexed his arm, looking puzzled. "Although for some reason my shoulder is very sore."

Jay started to laugh. Zane gave him a perplexed look.

"What have I been missing? . . . "

* * *

It took Jay a while to explain everything that had happened while Zane was gone.

"So that's the whole story," he said at last. "Incredible, huh?"

"Truly." Zane rubbed his head. "I wish you hadn't all put yourselves in such danger for my sake. Again."

"Dude, are you serious?" Jay whapped his arm lightly. "That's not how this works."

"It's just a little disconcerting," said the Nindroid, smiling sheepishly. "I thought I was supposed to be the most durable member of this team."

"Well, yer clearly not," grinned Jay, giving the Nindroid one final tackle-glomp and messing up his hair fiercely. "You just exist to give us heart attacks."

"I don't mean to," said Zane, squirming.

"I'm kidding, geez." Jay let him go and backed up, giving an enormous yawn. "Man, I have not had enough sleep lately. I guess you're not tired though, right?"

"Actually, I am," admitted Zane. "Having most of your processing power removed is not the same as sleep. And . . . I would like to speak with PIXAL . . . "

"Woah-ho!" Jay held up his hands, grinning. "Then I guess I better leave you alone!"

Ever since the Titanium thing Zane hadn't been able to physically blush, but he was beyond obviously blushing right now.

"I just wanted to ask her if she was all right."

"Sure, sure. You do that." Jay elbowed him teasingly and picked up Mopp on his way out. "Come on, little buddy. Let's get you out of here before the grown-up talk starts."

"Please stop."

Jay looked up and relented when he realized Zane was genuinely uncomfortable.

"I'm just teasing," he said gently. "It's good to have you back, buddy."

Zane turned up his palms as if indicating he didn't have a clue, much less any resentment.

"We need to figure out how to introduce you to the others," said Jay. "Somethin' cool. And I need to wait for Kai to get back. But you have a good talk until then, okay?"

He headed out to the living room and flopped onto the couch. Honestly he was starting to get a little worried about how long it was taking Kai to return.

* * *

When Kai did finally get back, it was past dawn. Jay had been watching anxiously through the window.

"Where've you been?!" he demanded as Kai landed his dragon. "You took forever!"

"Yeah, Natanka took me a long way out," sighed Kai, rubbing his eyes. "I had to rest my dragon before I could make it back."

"Is she safe?"

"I think she will be," said Kai. "I swore not to tell anyone where I'd taken her, and I'm pretty sure the place she asked me to drop her off was meant to mislead me too. That way Nash can't torture any leads out of us."

Jay shuddered.

"She's really something, isn't she?" said Kai.

"No kidding." Jay smiled at the untempered admiration in Kai's voice. "I hope we get to see her again someday. We still owe her."

"Yeah. Though just before she left, she said if we wanted to repay her, we should take care of . . . what was the word?"

" _Croopneechek_?"

"Yeah. That. Wonder what the heck it means. I hope it's not Dranuhovian for 'appetizer'."

"You could ask Zane," grinned Jay.

"He's all right?" Kai's sleepy expression brightened immediately. "The drive worked?"

"Like a charm."

Just at that moment Zane poked his head out into the hallway.

"Is it all right if I use the frozen—Oh, good morning, Kai."

"You're okay!" Kai reflexively dove to hug the Nindroid, but Zane started back, bringing him up short.

"Wait, wait. We should do this properly," he said. Kai gave him a confused look. Zane, his brows knit in concentration, pulled Kai's arm up and meticulously arranged their hands and wrists in a fireman's grip.

"If I understand correctly, this is the proper way to do it," he said, leaning in slightly and carefully patting Kai's back with his free arm. Jay struggled not to laugh.

"Uhhhh . . . okay," said Kai. He waited patiently for Zane to let go. "Are you done now?"

"I believe that was correctly executed, yes?" said Zane.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," said Kai, and proceeded to tackle him in a proper bear hug.

"This is very unorthodox," said Zane reproachfully, and Jay finally did burst out laughing.

"You honestly don't see the point, do you?" said Kai, pulling back with a rueful smile.

"I still have a little difficulty," admitted Zane. "But I assume it's because you are happy I am back?"

"Yeah, Zane. Yeah we are."

"Well, I am happy to be back. So there is no harm done." Zane smiled brightly. "Now, Jay, I was going to ask you. Does anyone else need those frozen blueberries?"

"Not that I know of."

"Frozen blueberries?" said Kai, as he and Jay followed Zane into the kitchen. "This poor guy just returned from the dead and you've got him making breakfast?"

"He volunteered!" said Jay. "I said we should surprise the others, just pretend like none of this ever happened and it was a normal day. And he said if it was a normal day, he'd make pancakes."

"Well," Kai took a deep breath, inhaling the buttery scent of frying batter. "I'm not gonna complain."

"You look tired," remarked Misako. She and Wu were sitting at the kitchen table with coffees, having already gone through their reunion with Zane.

"Yeah, long flight," said Kai, stretching. "But hey. Should I wake the others?"

"Please do," said Zane, tilting oil around on the griddle. "I am already starting on the second batch."

Grinning, Kai headed down the hall to the bunkroom. Cole and Lloyd were there, still asleep. Kai flicked off the alarm clock and went over to shake them.

"Wakey-wakey, Lloydfish. Zane's making pancakes."

Lloyd blinked at him groggily, his hair in disarray.

"I heard they were blueberry," said Kai, and sauntered out to wake Nya.

It was a good bit later that Lloyd stumbled into the kitchen, half-heartedly trying to push his hair out of his face. He laid eyes on Zane and abruptly backed into the doorframe. He'd probably have stayed there for quite a while if Nya hadn't come screeching down the hallway and tackled Zane into the countertop.

"YOU'RE ALIVE! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?"

"Uhm," said Zane. He was rather dismayed, having stuck his hand into the bowl of pancake batter when Nya tackled him. Nya was now pinning his other arm, so he was trying valiantly to get the batter off his hand so he could hug her back. Just when it seemed he might be making some progress, Lloyd recovered and added himself to the pileup. Cole came along seconds later.

"My apologies?" said Zane, giving up and hugging with his sticky hand. He was looking a little flustered, but there was a broad smile plastered across his face and he seemed quite content to be at the center of this demolition derby. He was also wearing a very amiable Meep as a hat.

"Geez, what're you all so surprised about?" said Kai, grinning over a stack of pancakes. "I _said_ he'd made breakfast."

"I thought I was dreaming," said Lloyd shakily.

"Didn't know you liked blueberry pancakes that much," deadpanned Kai. Sensei Wu, in a good mood, flicked a drop of maple syrup at him scoldingly.

Eventually everyone managed to unglue themselves from the Nindroid and calm down a little. Everyone had questions at once. Zane looked anxiously to the pancake griddle, but Jay had long since taken over pancake-flipping duties. He gave Zane a wink and waved for him to do the talking.

* * *

It was a day for complete dissolution of discipline. They couldn't focus on chores and they couldn't focus on training and Sensei Wu tried to get annoyed with them and couldn't.

Jay and Nya were maybe the most productive. Nya plowed steadily forward with her work examining the smartphones. She had checked over two of them yesterday, but there were still five more. Meanwhile Jay focused on getting Zane's exterior repaired a little—the poor Nindroid looked like the sequel to a jumpscare game. It took hours to smooth out all the dents, patch the occasional complete breach, and polish Zane's feet and legs a little so the salt damage didn't show as much. He was still going to need new plating in quite a few areas.

"I knew those drawing skills would come in handy someday," said Jay conversationally, fiddling with the settings on a buffer. "That was some quick thinking."

"I barely even knew what I was doing," said Zane. "Everything happened so fast."

"It was a wild night," agreed Jay. "I'm just glad you made it out alive . . . we really messed up, not recognizing all those traps."

"I didn't recognize them either," said Zane. He suddenly sounded a little distracted. Jay looked up and noticed the Nindroid's distant eyes. He almost opened his mouth to ask what was up, but then he froze, realizing. The happy bubble that had been bobbing in his chest all day suddenly went _pop!_

"The falcon, huh?" he said quietly.

Zane shrugged and tried to smile.

"I'm sorry, buddy." Jay looked away, not sure what to say. "I . . . wish there was something we could do."

"The falcon lived a long life," said Zane, stroking between Mopp's eyes gently. The alien gave a contented purr. "Longer than me, actually. It was built shortly after I was, but it did not get rebuilt like I did. I was already becoming quite outdated before the Golden Master's attack, so . . . "

"No, don't say that," said Jay.

"I'm not saying I don't miss it," said Zane. "But it was probably starting to feel its age. I know I had been. And . . . I guess it didn't feel anything, at the end. I didn't feel the electroplating salts."

"Well . . . that's good," mumbled Jay.

He worked quietly for a while longer, not meeting Zane's eyes. Mopp clambered into Zane's lap, purring. The aliens approved of everything that was happening today: no one was yelling or crying, Zane was no longer lying motionless and ignoring them, and everyone was happy and fun and had lots of attention to give them. Mopp rolled over, purring even harder, and Zane obligingly rubbed his belly. He caught Jay's eye and gave him a smile.

Jay did his best to smile back. He knew how Zane was; he rarely talked about what was bothering him and tried to downplay it even when he did. He'd probably never bring up the falcon again, and it would be murderously hard to figure out just how badly it was affecting him . . . He made a mental note to talk to Nya about this.

* * *

The day continued in an irresponsible fashion. Cole walked into the kitchen, where Kai was supposed to be cooking dinner. Instead he found Kai perched on the edge of the sink, playing the comb, while Zane and Lloyd meticulously poured water into drinking glasses and Jay made unholy noises on a slide whistle. Nya appeared to be tuning an egg slicer to sound like an Oriental harp.

"What is going on in here?"

"The world's first Intergalactic Orchestra!" said Jay, in between puffs on the slide whistle. "Get your bongos, Cole, we need a percussionist."

Cole looked around at the arrangement. Meep and Mopp each had a basin of the kitchen sink to themselves, and appeared to be doing voice exercises. Lloyd was stacking more glasses atop a cake stand. Nya was now fashioning maracas out of dried beans and coffee mugs.

"I just wanted some dinner," said Cole plaintively.

At this point Zane struck a carefully tuned note upon a glass of water, and Meep and Mopp instantly imitated it. Zane struck another note, and Mopp switched to that one, creating a long keening chord of alien-screeching.

"Excellent," said Zane. "Chord changes every four beats, please follow my lead."

He handed Lloyd a spoon, and they began to play the _Starfarer_ theme on the water glasses. Everyone else immediately began to make as much noise as possible in an absolutely random fashion. It sounded like a power surge on a sound effects board. Cole held his ears, laughing in spite of himself.

"You'll get your dinner," shouted Jay above the noise, handing him a bag of rubber bands and a set of spoons to click. "Until then, pull your own weight! We're not stopping till the Sensei comes in here with police backup."

* * *

Sensei Wu did eventually put a stop to the mayhem, even sans police backup. They all helped Kai throw together dinner, which ended up mostly just being for Sensei and Misako—the rest of them had eaten their fill while preparing it. Everyone was still wound-up, so Lloyd suggested video games before bed. Kai was all for it, and Zane came along too. It wasn't long before the others found themselves drawn to the living room as well.

"When did this happen?!" Kai asked incredulously, grinning. Zane, his expression bland, was piloting his way smoothly through the game.

"We practiced for ages!" said Lloyd. "It just took him some time to get used to the controls, and once it clicked he learned really fast. Right, Zane?"

"I like to think it was just my old skills coming back to me," said the Nindroid, firing off a special attack. The others gathered around to watch and cheer Zane on. Even Sensei and Misako showed some interest.

"Hey, let me in on player four," said Jay, hopping over the back of the couch.

Zane was really quite good by now. After a few minutes of play, he wound up in second place.

"Not bad, Zane," said Jay, settling back. "And his teacher."

Lloyd grinned.

"Glad it paid off. We only practiced using this game, I was getting really sick of it."

"Huh," said Jay. "So Zane, did you just get good at playing _this_ game, or can you play anything now?"

"I don't know," said Zane. "I've tried a few of our other games, but not extensively."

"Well then! This would be a good opportunity to try out that one new game I got," said Jay.

"Ohhh, come on," groaned Kai. "Not that one."

"Don't you question my taste in video games!" Jay was already scooting towards the video game cabinet. He pulled out a slightly dusty game, still in its shrink-wrapping. "You guys have talked me out of trying this one long enough. I'll bet it's one of those under-appreciated indie gems!"

"I'll bet it's a cheaply made game with terrible graphics, terrible mechanics, and phoned-in voice acting," said Kai, propping his elbows on the sofa. "Nothing you buy for six hundred ken can be good."

"Hey, hey, read the back, Kai." Jay tossed the package at Kai while readying the game disk. "'Epic quest gameplay.' Epic quests! Somebody put a lot of thought into that."

Kai rolled his eyes and blew a dismissive raspberry.

"Epic quests?" said Cole. "Hey. That sounds kinda involved—you sure you want to be starting that kind of game at this hour of the night?"

He got a full battery of glares.

"On second thought," said Kai, turning back to the TV, "load 'er up, Jay."

"I'm still waking you for sunrise exercise tomorrow," said Sensei Wu, and left for bed himself.

Cole grumbled and made some half-hearted motions towards the bunkroom, but couldn't bring himself to actually leave. He was curious about this game; Jay had bought it months ago, but it looked so hokey that nobody had wanted to play it.

"All right, who wants the privilege of being the first to play this beauty?" said Jay, fiddling with the menu. "Zane, siddown, the whole point is to test your control skills in another game."

"Count me out," said Kai, and gave a snort of laughter when Jay started up the tutorial. "What did I tell you? Potato-cam graphics."

"Heyyyy, what's wrong with potatoes?" said Cole indignantly.

"You tell 'im, Dirtclod. Graphics aren't everything, ya know!" Jay jabbed a thumb at the third and fourth controllers. "For your support, you get the honor of Player Three."

"Oh joy," said Cole, but still sat down and picked up a controller. Jay looked around.

"Player Four?"

"I'll play," said Nya. Jay gave her a sunny smile as she sat down, appreciating her faith in him. He turned back to the tutorial and groaned.

"Cole, stop that."

"Rawrgh," said Cole. He was supposed to be learning how to talk to a villager, but instead he was beating the poor guy over the head with his sword. The villager was completely unfazed.

They lurched through the tutorial, squabbling. Speaking to NPCs ("Die, villager!"), running, tumbling, and jumping onto obstacles ("Die, barrels!" "Cole I swear, you put that sword away or—"), carrying and using objects ("So how do I throw this at a villager?"), and dealing with enemies ("All right you griefer, you either start playing this game correctly—").

Finally they got around to the real game. Jay tried to deny it for as long as he could, but it soon got past denial: the game sucked. Sure, there was a gigantic world map to walk around in, but the graphics were terrible and the controls were just the worst. Since four of them were playing on one TV, running around a large map, they had to play in awkward four-way splitscreen. The plot, as far as anyone could gather, had something to do with a guy getting kidnapped into slavery and running around on an island owned by an evil guy, looking for magical artifacts to defeat his captor.

"Well, this is gratuitous," remarked Cole, hacking a random villager to bits.

"Then stop doing it!" snapped Jay.

"It's her own fault, she wouldn't tell me where Zane i—gahh!" Cole started melodramatically as his avatar came within sight of Zane's and the screens of the two characters merged without warning. "Ooooh, let's all get together and make one big screen! Then we can run around in a little posse!"

"I think I have more than I can handle already," grumbled Jay. He and Nya's characters had met, and now Nya was poking him repeatedly with a spear and giggling at the avatar's exaggerated "startle" response. Finally he lost patience and used his sword on her, dealing actual damage.

"Hey! Ouch!" Nya huffed. "Oh yeah? Take that!"

Jay made an indignant sound as Nya speared his avatar.

"Noooo, _you_ take that!"

"No, you!"

"You!"

"Then take this!"

"And some of this!"

"Fear me, peasant!"

"Who ya callin' peasant, peasant?"

"Well, aren't you two romantic," said Cole, as Nya and Jay fell to work beating up each other's characters, cackling.

For a while they kept playing just for the humor value, joking about the confusing side quests and hordes of clueless enemies who popped up at random moments. Jay and Nya were both heavily damaged from fighting each other and tended to just run away from any enemies they saw.

"I'll save you, Zane!" declared Cole dramatically, wading his avatar through a crowd of enemies, most of whom couldn't figure out how to attack him. "Hang on!"

"I'm doing quite fine, thank you," said Zane cheerfully, performing an elaborate twirl before clobbering an opponent with a battleaxe.

"Ohhhh, what is THIS?" said Cole. "You are not allowed to fight fancier than me!"

Zane only performed another twirl, smiling in challenge.

"Oh yeah? Well watch this!" Cole began to perform dramatic leaps and tumbles as he fought.

"This is where the dance training really pays off, eh?" grinned Jay.

"Wheeeee," said Cole, pirouetting through the air and stabbing a guy. Then he tried to tumble through the battlefield, mashing the tumble button on the controller. After a second he blinked.

"Uhh, guys?"

"What—Ohh, what the heck?" Jay started to laugh. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know, I'm stuck!" laughed Cole, mashing buttons. "I can't make him stop!"

His character had apparently decided that tumbling was the way to go. He was locked in the awkward "sumersault" animation, knees up by his head, arms flapping every which way, tumbling along about a foot off the ground. Nothing would convince him otherwise.

"Try to jump, can you jump?" asked Zane above the others' laughter.

"I can't!" Cole punched some buttons, and his avatar bobbed oddly and grunted as if jumping—but continued to rotate steadily around a central axis. "I can only steer, that's all."

"Attack him, maybe that'll snap him out of it!" suggested Kai. He and Lloyd had only been paying half-attention to the game before, but now they were good and interested.

"Yeah, someone stab me," said Cole. "Uh, where are you guys?"

"I see you, I see you! Hold on!" called Nya. Her character swooped in and began to spear Cole ferociously. It made no difference—and without warning, Nya's character suddenly turned into a mass of deformed vectors and disappeared. He made an "oof!" sound, and what was unmistakably a "player death" riff played. "Player 4 Down!" proclaimed the text on the screen.

" _You ATE Nya!_ " howled Jay indignantly, as Nya burst out laughing. "How did you even do that?"

"Shhh! The Sensei!" scolded Zane, but the warning was lost in the ongoing chaos and hilarity. Cole was advancing on a stack of crates now. He bumped against them a few times, and abruptly they turned into a glitchy mass of vectors as well.

"Cole STOP, you're glitching everything you touch! You are breaking the game!"

"I know," said Cole, his eyes wide. "I am THE GLITCH MASTER."

"Noooooo Cole, stoppit!"

"FEAR ME." Cole tumbled majestically off across the landscape, grinning sinisterly.

"Somebody stop him!"

Cole destroyed a village by rolling at it. Everything he touched either glitched dramatically or disappeared. Jay found his tumbling avatar and tried to throw grenades at it. Unfazed, Cole rolled in Jay's direction, driving him into an area where he'd deformed the cobblestones. Jay's character promptly sank up to his knees and stuck in the glitched ground, thrashing ineffectually.

"Gah! No! Help!" yelped Jay, but it was too late; Cole's avatar rolled into him and killed his character too. "Player 1 Down!" declared the screen.

"I"m gonna eat you ALL!" intoned Cole, tumbling wildly. He trashed a farm and a smithy.

"He's breaking the world!" wailed Jay. "Zannnnnne, stop him!"

"I think maybe I'd better avoid him!" said Zane, piloting intensely.

"That's it Zane, run! Don't let him get you!"

"Ohh, I can wait," declared Cole, rotating grimly along. "You can't run forever, mortal. My glitch power rules all."

"Help," said Lloyd faintly from the floor. He had not been okay ever since this glitch first started.

"Uh, you guys?" said Kai. "I think Lloyd's going to die if you keep this up."

"Well, too bad!" declared Cole, pointing at the ceiling. "The Glitch Master cares not who he tramples on his way to empire!"

Lloyd groaned, rolling onto his side and holding his stomach.

"I'm not gonna look."

Five seconds later he did look and started laughing again. Zane's character had climbed into a tree to hide, but Cole just tumbled right up the tree trunk and began to thrash around in the leaves. Neither player could see his avatar now, and everyone was yelling out advice as Zane blindly tried to dodge The Glitch Master. Occasionally the arm of Cole's character would flap out of the leaves somewhere.

"Wherrrre are you?" growled Cole, rooting around assiduously.

Zane made a break for it, leaping out of the tree. He was just in time; the entire leafy top of the tree turned into a glitched abomination.

"Yeahhhh, you beat him! He's trapped in that tree!" cheered Nya.

Cole huffed and wiggled the controls. Suddenly his avatar burst out of the leaves, still tumbling.

"He's ALIIIIIVE! Run Zane run!"

It was really a marvel that Sensei Wu hadn't come in to bite their heads off yet. Maybe he'd fallen into a particularly deep sleep after the last few stressful days, or maybe he just didn't feel like getting up. Either way, the chaos continued undisturbed.

Tumbling was faster than walking, so Zane had really been pulling fancy stunts to keep out of Cole's way. The characters were now on a cliffside, precariously close to the edge. Cole's avatar continued to flop about in pursuit of Zane's, which was leaping around dangerously close to the brink. He was at severe risk of getting trapped between his pursuer and the edge. The others shouted encouragement and panicked whenever he found himself in a tight spot.

"No! Nonono, you're doomed!" yelled Jay as Zane's avatar stumbled out onto a little peninsula. "You're trapped now! Nooooooo, Zane, why?!"

"Say goodbye," singsonged Cole, grinning like a maniac as he closed in for the kill. Zane, teeth clamped over lip, suddenly whirled his avatar around and leaped. The others yelped, but by some miracle Zane managed to make the jump and land safely on the nearby cliff.

"YES! That was amazing! Go Zane, go!"

"Get back here!" scowled Cole meanwhile, tumbling in pursuit. There was a flurry of action—hollering all around—and in the midst of the chaos, Cole's avatar suddenly plummeted out of the screen and the "player death" riff blared. "Player Two Wins!" flashed across the screen.

"YAAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!" roared the others, while Cole threw down his controller with a cry of "Oh, COME ON!" and abruptly tackled the victor. Zane stiffened, but almost immediately afterwards realized that Cole was laughing. The dethroned Glitch Master pulled him back upright and dug a fist playfully into his hair, while the others pretty much piled on indiscriminately, still cheering and congratulating them both by now. It was a bit of a melee, and although it was a little bewildering being caught in the middle of it, it was . . . kind of nice, too.

"That was amazing," said Jay at last, throwing himself upside-down onto the couch. "I have never seen a game glitch out that badly."

"I told you it was a hokey game," grinned Kai.

"Are you kidding? That was great!"

Once they'd all caught their breaths and calmed down a little, Cole yawned and stretched.

"Phew. Okayyyy, that was fun, but now we're really going to bed."

A chorus of groans and "awwww!"s.

"Bed," said Cole, adamant.

"Nuuuuuuu . . . "

"Don't leave us!"

"Whyyyy?"

" _Hello darkness, my old friend_ ," sang Jay woefully, sliding headfirst down the couch.

The lights went out. Everyone screeched.

"Jay, what did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Woah, everyone stay put, stay calm," called Nya. "The backup generator will kick in after a second."

They waited. It didn't.

"Wonderful," groaned Nya.

"Do you think the game glitched out the entire _ship?_ " said Jay, awed.

"Nahhh. There's probably just something wrong with the backup generator. Uh . . . and the main one. I swear, if it's the fuel usage again, I will . . . "

"Well, I guess we have to go to bed _now_ ," sighed Kai. There was the sound of someone hitting the floor. "Ouch!"

"Watch it," said Cole's drowsy voice.

"You're sleeping on the floor?"

"Mmhm."

"Well, okay then."

Nobody felt like stumbling through the dark. Worn out from the madness of the past few days, they settled on the floor or sofa, making some half-hearted promises that they'd get up and go to bed in a minute or two. Eventually everyone just fell asleep where they were.

Zane stayed awake, his blue eyes glowing in the dark. Someone shifted next to him.

"Lloyd?" he murmured.

"Mm-hmm." Lloyd yawned and settled a little closer. "You all right, Zane?"

"Perfectly, yes." Zane smiled. "Are you?"

"I think. I still can't believe you're okay." Lloyd was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry I left you."

"Left me?"

"To the Technicians. At Gisher. I promise I won't abandon you again, I—"

"You did not abandon me," interrupted Zane. "You had to take cover along with everyone else. Your staying would not have helped me and would only have put you in danger yourself."

"But I shouldn't have left you alone . . . "

"Each of you was alone too," said Zane. "You could not have known that the Technicians would come after me specifically."

"I should've known," mumbled Lloyd. Zane shook his head helplessly.

"You should not blame yourself. Besides, I was not alone. Jay was with me some of the time."

Lloyd didn't say anything. Zane tilted his head, wondering if he'd said something wrong.

"Besides," he said at last. "You may be older physically, but do not forget, I am much older mentally. I have just as much responsibility to look after _you_."

"Physically counts more."

"On the contrary, I would argue mentality is more important."

Lloyd gave a cross between a chuckle and a sigh.

"I'll let you win, just this _once_."

He lay back, and it was quiet for a bit.

"Say Zane?" asked Lloyd drowsily.

"Yes?"

"Can you find words in other languages by what they sound like?"

"Possibly . . . What do you have in mind?"

"What does, uhh . . . _croop-nee-chek_ mean? In Dranuhovian."

"Oh, that narrows it down." Zane was quiet for a bit. "Ah. It's a diminutive of _croopneek_."

"A what?"

"A smaller version. Like 'statuette'."

"I don't like where this is going," grumbled Lloyd. "And that other word?"

"It appears to mean 'barley soup'."

"Oh, for crying out loud," muttered Lloyd. "Really?"

Zane chuckled softly.

"As the older brother I am entitled to find the term appropriate."

"And you call yourself the mentally older one." Lloyd gave him a gentle shove and settled down again, still grumbling to himself. Bit by bit the grumbling trailed off, and his breath became slow and even.

Zane stayed awake. He looked around at his sleeping family, grey-blue in his night vision. Then he went to fetch a drawing pad.

PIXAL chatted with him as he drew. They both had so much to say to each other, you'd think they'd been separated for months instead of two days.

"How do you like this?" said Zane, finishing up a drawing of PIXAL.

"Do I look like that?" said PIXAL shyly. "I haven't seen myself in mirrors very often."

Zane hummed, his eyes dimming a bit.

"We should do something about that."

"I am all right," said PIXAL. "I'm just glad to be whole again. And with you."

"It's good to be back," said Zane softly. He started drawing the others, just as they were, curled on the floor or slumped against each other on the sofa. Jay and Nya's hands were intertwined as they slept. Lloyd twitched in his sleep, panting as if someone was chasing him, and Zane reached over to ruffle his hair soothingly.

"Not leaving you," mumbled Lloyd, his eyes still closed.

"I know you won't," said Zane. Lloyd fell still, sighing.

Zane drew himself last, drawing pad propped on his crossed legs. For a moment he compared the drawing to the real models, smiling fondly. There was still a little room on the sofa.

Eyes brightening in concentration, he began to draw PIXAL sitting next to him, and the falcon at their backs.

* * *

 **Silica:** Well. That was a fine productive day.

 **CapsLock** : Hm?

 **Silica:** The idiot ninja forgot to shut off their internet after researching virus definitions. I've been wiretapping their computer mike all day and sorta stewing half-heartedly.

 **CapsLock:** Why, what's going on?

 **Silica:** I don't know how, but they got the Nindroid up and running again.

 **CapsLock** : WHAT?

 **Silica** : I know, right? I've been listening to them carrying on all freaking day. They've been living it up like preschoolers, I swear I can hear them from halfway across the ship. Especially those weird parrots or whatever it is they have. Just now the internet cut out, though, they must have remembered to switch it off.

 **CapsLock** : I can't believe it. How'd they get him running? You destroyed the drive, right?

 **Silica** : Yeah.

 **CapsLock:** You surrrrrrrre?

 **Silica** : What, you doubting me? I said I'd destroy it!

 **CapsLock:** Okay, okay. I believe you. Man, though. That's got to be some impressive engineering on their part.

 **Silica:** Yeah. Honestly I almost can't be angry. They sound so happy, the dweebs. I almost kinda want them to be happy while they can.

 **CapsLock:** Heh. I like how you say "while they can." Because Blue is . . .

 **Silica:** Hoooooooo boy. Yeah.

* * *

 **A/N: Sweet Sally from Slider. Did I just spend 6,000 words on these ninja dorks doing absolutely nothing of importance?**

 **. . . Looks like I did. Ah, too bad! The poor saps needed some fun.**

 **And now for us! First, a bit of news** **—** **I think I'm going to be taking a hiatus for a week, maybe two. The chapter buffer is shrinking to almost nothing, and I'm worried that I'll need to change something that I've already posted at this rate. So a little extra time to write further ahead will help with that.**

 **On the bright side, the hiatus will also give me more time to work on requests and answers for you guys! Because now we're opening the floor for an ask/request session!**

 **o~o~o~o~o~o~o**

 **You can ask questions, request a one-shot, or both! If you want.**

 **Some quick rules:**

 **Overall:** I'm reserving the right to refuse any question/request that involves inappropriate content or spoilers.

 **For questions:**

*You can ask as many questions as you want, to me or to any characters in the story.

*Any topic you like! Doesn't have to be related to the story at all.

 **For one-shot requests:**

*Not taking OCs; sorry.

*Only one request per person. Any topic you want! They definitely don't have to be related to this story, but they can be.

*Limit five one-shots total, unless some of them turn out to be drabble-sized or particularly easy.

 **That about covers it! All answers and requests will be in "Backstage with Jay." See you over there soon, and back in this story after two or three weeks! Have fun. ^_^**


	72. We Got a Badass Over Here

**Hi guys! Updates resuming! Hope you've been having fun over in "Backstage with Jay." There's still gonna be a few more requested one-shots there!**

 **Before I start, some pretty important news. Around late July or early August, I'm gonna have to drop off FanFiction. I'm going to a new school, and from what I understand it's going to be murder. I'll have to cut out pretty much all internet, at least till I get a feel for how much free time (if any) I have.**

 **So I'm not sure what to tell you about FMW. I swear I will finish this story, one way or another, but I'm not sure how. Right now I'll be pushing to finish as much as I can before I leave. If I don't finish before then, I miiiiiiiiight eventually resume writing fanfiction on weekends, if I see that I have time for that. If not, worst-case scenario, I'll wait for a holiday or something and post a compressed synopsis of the remaining plot. I promise I'll pull this off** ** _somehow_** **.**

 **I'm really gonna miss you guys, though.**

* * *

 **TheAmberShadow: Yeah, I have my doubts too. Prolly gonna be some new girl.  
Well gosh, I hope they do! I can't handle too many plot disasters simultaneously. XD  
And from Backstage, thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed the fluff. ^_^ People say Cole is a good artist because of _one_ solitary scene in "Once Bitten, Twice Shy." While Nya is talking about the Fangpyre skeleton, the others are paying various degrees of attention, and Cole is painting a pretty darn good picture of himself. :)  
Yang's gonna love these kids. I'm not sure how his attitude towards Jay is gonna develop, though. Either he's gonna keep picking on the poor kid, or he'll eventually get to like him the most and be all protective of him. XD  
Nah, they were legitimately having fun. At least a little. Lloyd's a good-hearted stringbean, he owns apologies when he needs to make them. Kai's more reluctant, but he wasn't apologizing seriously anyway. :P  
Naw, I love HoT so far! Whatcha got against it?**

 **Fire Oreo: Thanks for the review! Ah, Jay doesn't know any better. Natural response when he reunites with someone he's missed is to start giving them a hard time. :P  
Heh, me too. ^_^''  
Well, that's heartening! I'm sure the Lloydfish appreciates it. ^_^  
Ninja are in the business of soul-stealing! It's their job. :P  
Oh my, dying multiple times a day? That can't be fun. XD  
Fluff request noted! Thanks again!**

 **Jens: Thanks for the review! Haha, glad you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun to write. ^_^ So, you and Fire Oreo really do read the story together, in the same room? Cool!  
There was a movie streaming? I didn't know that! But I have seen the trailer, so yeah, I do get it. XD  
He's called Blue as short for BlueScreen, his official codename. That in turn comes from the "blue screen of death," the infamous symptom of a crashing computer.  
Thanks for all the questions! And the review. ^_^**

 **KillerWhale: Hi there! Thanks for the review and the questions! ^_^**

 **Zaptrap: Oooooh, you read Whisper? Yeshhhhhhh. :3  
Haha, cool! I'll have to look into that. Wonder if it would work inside a fanfic too . . .  
Both good ones. :3 I think mine might be "Non-Stop."  
About your review on Backstage, I was going to poke you about that, actually. Especially since it came right in the middle of all the fluff requests. :P  
**

 **Guest: Thank youuuu! ^_^**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks very much! Well, glad that wasn't a waste then. ^_^  
Request noted!**

 **Zoodirektor: You're very welcome for the fish! XD Thanks for the questions! They've been added to Chapter 16 of Backstage. :)**

* * *

 **Sept 28**

 **7:00 AM**

 **Status conditions: Some healing minor wounds, but pshh!**

* * *

Sensei Wu did wake them for morning exercise, banging his gong assiduously. He'd had little occasion to use it since the ninja got an alarm clock, so he put some extra muscle into it for old times' sakes.

"Evil never sleeps, and judging by last night, neither do you," he called. There was much groaning and holding of ears.

"Iiiiii told you we were gonna regret this," mumbled Cole, rubbing his stiff neck. Lloyd was blinking blearily and pulling ineffectually at his front tooth, for whatever reason. Then he came fully awake and stopped hastily, looking paranoid.

They pulled themselves back into gear today. Training resumed as normal. Nya went to check the generators, and threw up her hands in dismay when it turned out that yes, the generator had run out of fuel. And so had the backup one.

"Can everyone maybe stop eating?" she grumbled. "Then maybe we can afford all this gasoline."

They were just swinging by New Ninjago City again, so they stopped for gas. Kai was a little jumpy, but the city seemed peaceful enough. Nobody tried to snipe them, anyway. They circled the outskirts on their patrol, cautious.

Nya got the power back on and was displeased to find she'd left the internet running. She left it on for just a bit longer though, while she researched Hombrito's. Everyone gathered around curiously.

"Well, whaddaya know," she said. "It's a legit company."

"A tattoo parlor?!" said Cole.

"Awesome!" cheered Jay. "Does this mean we get tattoos?"

"I doubt it," said Kai. "Why would Eycho send us to get tattoos?"

"Oh." Jay sobered.

"Besides, he told us to go to the back room and ask for this certain guy called Dexter and everything," said Lloyd. "There must be something else going on in the back of that tattoo parlor." He paused. "Although if there really are tattoos involved, I'm in."

"No you are not," said Misako from the door.

"Aw, but Mom . . . "

"It looks like Hombrito's really is connected to Yang's Tavern through the back," said Nya, still squinting at the map. "I guess you could get in through there. If it's a trap, at least a lot of people will see you going in . . . "

"Especially important since Nash is gunning for us proper now," said Kai.

"Wait, wouldn't that make it dangerous to go to Yang's Tavern?" said Cole. "I mean, that's where the slobber dealers hang out, right?"

"Sometimes," said Kai. "But one, Yang's Tavern is the _last_ place Nash would expect us to go right now. And two, snakes are really bad at recognizing humans. Some good disguises and we'll be fine."

* * *

Yang's Tavern opened at eight. The really gritty activity, according to Kai, didn't start till 10:30 or so. At a little past eight, therefore, three heavily disguised ninja approached the sickly blue light by the tavern's alleyway entrance.

There had been much debate over who was to go. Sending the whole squad would have looked too suspicious. Lloyd said he and Kai should go, since Eycho had specifically told them the codes. Misako absolutely would not permit Lloyd to get a tattoo, however. Lloyd had spent all day arguing with her about it, but she remained unmoved.

So in the end, Jay came along too. If it looked like the codes were going to involve tattooing—somehow—Jay and Kai would go in. If not, Kai and Lloyd.

"I regret bringing you," Kai grumbled at Jay. "You look like a maniac."

Jay huffed and gathered up his robes, which he had hastily thrown together out of that unused purple curtain fabric.

"You don't look so sane yourself, Slick."

Kai rolled his eyes and caught himself before he could feel self-consciously at his hair. He had used tons of gel to slick it down, till it looked almost normal. Jay had used a ton of gel to spike up his own hair in turn. Originally he had also cut up a fake mustache so he could give himself bushy eyebrows, but Lloyd couldn't look at him without laughing so they abandoned that enterprise. Nya loaned them one of her eyeliner pencils to at least change their eyebrows' shape a little.

Lloyd himself was wearing a grungy jacket and a bandana, and had stuffed his hair up into a fedora. Jay had used his theater skills and a little gelatin to give him a small fake scar by his ear, which he was very pleased about. Altogether they cut a pretty seedy picture.

"All right," said Kai under his breath. "Just stick with me, follow my lead. Don't go wandering off staring at anything, don't talk to anyone if you can help it. We can't just make a beeline for Hombrito's, so act casual."

Jay put on his best tough-guy face. He snuck a glance at Lloyd and felt a little intimidated when he saw how relaxed the kid was. He'd been here before, fetching Kai, right? Shoot, that made Jay the only noob.

He set his jaw and tried to think flinty-eyed thoughts. _Don't look awed, don't look awed, don't look_ —

 _Woah._

Yang's tavern was _big_ , and surprisingly lofty. Jay had envisioned a low, smoky, dimly-lit dive, but this place was bright with red and gold, lively with the chatter of people. Hey, this couldn't be too bad, could it?

Then he got a better look at some of the patrons.

Eeeyikes.

They had entered on the ground floor. Jay saw railings nearby, and heard the bark of a gravelly voice down below. It seemed like there was a sunken area in the middle of the building. Around it balconies rose at least three floors high.

"Is that the Slither Pit?" Jay whispered.

"Mm-hm," said Lloyd. Kai spared a glance in that direction.

"Feeling nostalgic?" said Lloyd, nudging him.

"No," said Kai crisply.

"Morning exercise really takes the extra fight out of you, huh?" grinned Jay.

"Knock it off." Kai began to pace through the crowd, hands sunk in his pockets. "Come on, we have to kill a little time. Look bored."

"Aww, can't we watch the Slither Pit?" said Jay. It sounded like a fight was just starting.

"Nuh-uh," said Kai.

Jay grumbled, then jumped when he saw Kai was leading them towards the bar. He dodged around some scary-looking individuals, struggling to remain cool-looking and not like he was scurrying to keep up. Honestly he was a little envious of Lloyd. He was looking right at home.

"Hey, what're you doing?" he hissed, as Kai plunked some money down on the counter. "Did you just order _drinks?!_ "

"Relaaaaax, they're virgin," said Kai, sliding a mug of green froth down the counter. "Like you."

"Heyyy . . . "

Lloyd chuckled and pulled his own mug across the counter, tossing a glance to Jay and Kai to see how they were enjoying theirs.

"Pretty good," said Jay gamely. "I could get used to this."

"Okay, but let's not kid around," said Kai. "Couple sips, then leave it. We've established the casual look. Now we can get in, get this over with, and get out."

Jay took a final hearty swig of the fizzy-sweet liquid, then followed Kai away from the bar. Lloyd lingered.

"Hey, lemme at least get a good taste." He turned back to his drink just in time to see a scruffy-looking bar patron reach over and steal it. The man grinned, showing dirty yellow teeth.

"So sorry, shorty."

"Hey, that's mine," said Lloyd. "Give that back."

Smirking, the man spat casually into the mug.

"Reckon you won't be wanting it now."

Lloyd raised an eyebrow. Then he shrugged, leaned over, and spat into the mug as well.

"Reckon you won't either."

The man stared for a moment, then hove to his feet.

"Listen here you little punk—"

Lloyd gave him a "not worth my time" wave, slipped around a passing fisherman, and stepped over to join Kai and Jay, who were staring at him like he'd just stabbed a guy.

"Whaaaat?" He looked from one shocked face to the other. "I _went_ to _Darkley's_."

"I'm regretting bringing _you_ now," groaned Kai.

* * *

They wove their way up to the second floor, which Kai said would be level with the street on the other side. There were several dingy-looking doors here, some of which Kai adamantly steered Lloyd and Jay away from. Jay could see why.

Finally they found a door with a ragged "Hombrito's" sign taped to it. The ninja looked at each other hesitantly. Finally Kai stepped up and knocked.

The door opened, and a greasy-haired guy in a ripped T-shirt peered out at them.

"Yeah?" He didn't seem too surprised, so he probably got customers through the back door all the time. That was good.

"We wanted to see Dexter," said Kai.

The man's eyes dilated slightly. He gave a terse nod and disappeared into the murk of the shop, leaving the door slightly open.

"Oh my gosh this is happening," said Jay faintly.

"That must be the back room." Kai peeked around the door. "I see tattoo equipment. Lloyd, you're out."

"What? Ohhh, come on!"

"I am not facing your mom, kid."

"We don't know for sure they're gonna _use_ the tattoo equipment!"

"Not risking it, okay? You want this Dexter guy getting suspicious when there's three of us instead of two?"

"But—but—"

"G'wan." Kai gave him a light shove away from the door. "Don't mess this up. Get going before this Dexter guy arrives."

Lloyd looked to Jay, pleading for backup, but the blue ninja shook his head. Lloyd's shoulders slumped.

"Fine," he said bitterly. "I'll wait outside the tavern."

"Woah, by yourself?"

"I'm a freaking ninja, I'll be fine." Lloyd chugged off grumpily and disappeared behind a knot of truck drivers.

"Maybe you shouldn't have shut him down like that," said Jay. "He was excited about this, you know."

"He'll have to suck it up. We can't afford to fail this mission." Kai was eyeing the crowd uneasily, clearly not happy about Lloyd waiting outside alone. He didn't have time to voice his concerns, though, because a new guy had showed up in the doorway. This one was even greasier.

"I thought there were three of you." His eyes narrowed.

"Oh, yeah," said Jay. "Our pal's getting his code next week, he wanted to see where he'd be going. We had 'im leave now that he's seen the place—for confidentiality, y'know?"

He didn't look at Kai, but he could feel a burst of surprise radiate off the red ninja. Honestly he was just as surprised himself. He'd known he was a pretty good liar, but not _that_ good.

Dexter certainly seemed appeased. He stepped back and motioned the ninja into the shop.

"Codes?"

"Eight five four, A," said Kai.

"Eight five four, B," said Jay. He could feel his heartbeat speed up at the words. This was happening. For real. Deep in enemy territory. No turning back now. Could they pull this off without giving themselves away? What happened if they _did_ give themselves away?

Dexter grunted and pulled out a tattered little book, which he thumbed through. Apparently the codes checked out, because he nodded and began to make notes with a pen.

"Either of you left-handed? . . . "

* * *

A while later Kai and Jay emerged from the backdoor of Hombrito's, weak-kneed with relief. Jay was barely coherent. It had worked! They'd done it!

"We should find Lloyd," said Kai. "He shouldn't be hanging around alone, especially here."

They made their way through the noise and bustle of the tavern. Most of the tavern-goers were pressed against railings watching the ongoing Slither Pit fights, so navigating past them was easy.

Once they got outside, they looked around for Lloyd—and found no one.

"Lloyd?" Kai's voice was just a tad past casual. "Hey!"

They scoped in either direction down the alley, kicking aside cans and litter.

"Lloyd, this isn't funny!" called Jay.

Still no answer. The two ninja looked at each other, expressions tight. Jay swallowed. Kai wasn't panicking yet. That meant no reason to panic. Right?

"There's no signs of struggle." Kai seemed to be reassuring himself as much as Jay. "Like he said, we're all freaking ninja. He wouldn't go down without a fight."

"Wh-what if he got shot?"

"They'd have heard it inside the tavern. It's not _that_ tough a crowd, that they wouldn't pay attention to a gunshot."

"Maybe he never left the tavern!" said Jay, struck by inspiration. "He was really enjoying that drink. Maybe he went for another one!"

Kai nodded and plowed back indoors. He and Jay began to weave amongst the cluster of people circling the bar, calling "Lloyd?" "Hey Lloyd!" in muted shouts. Then they began to search all the higher balconies, even peeking into some of the shops. Eventually they regrouped.

"I don't see him!" said Jay, genuinely panicking by now. Anything could have happened! Technicians! That drink-stealing guy at the bar! Random roughs looking for trouble! _What were they gonna tell Misako?_

He and Kai looked at each other helplessly for a moment. The raucous babble around them continued. From down in the Slither Pit, the hoarse voice of the referee barked out another announcement.

"Place your bets, buckos, place your bets! We're starting up on another rounnnnnd! Who wants to bet on this snappy little new guy? Four rounds unbeaten, can he do it again?!"

Kai and Jay's gazes simultaneously slid towards the Slither Pit, then back to each other.

"Please no," said Jay.

Kai broke for the Slither Pit, shoving and weaving through the deep crowd gathered around the railings, ignoring the angry exclamations from various roughs. Jay scurried after him. Kai rammed up against the railing, took a look down into the Slither Pit, and let his face sink into his hands.

It was Lloyd all right. Although Jay might not have recognized him if he weren't wearing the same clothes. His hair was swept up with a headband, fountaining every which way. He'd tied his bandana over his face like a bandit, and had inked snarling teeth onto the fabric. His jacket and hat were gone, the right sleeve of his shirt was torn off almost completely, and what looked like the cuffs of his socks were tied over his knuckles, forming grungy gloves.

Oh, and he was facing off against a musclebound Constrictai with a hook hand.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Kai bellowed, but just a second earlier the match gong had clanged, and now the crowd went up in a deafening roar. Even Jay couldn't hear Kai from right next to him.

The Constrictai plowed at Lloyd, hook hand flashing. Lloyd dodged just enough for the hook to miss, then lunged forward to catch the hook arm at the end of its swing and force it to the floor. Grunting angrily, the snake ducked Lloyd's punch and yanked free, swinging his one intact fist at Lloyd's head.

Lloyd blocked with one arm. He tried to grab the Constrictai's hand and pull him off-balance, but the hand wouldn't budge. The Constrictai's eyes locked with Lloyd's, and he grinned.

Jay gave a muffled yelp as the Constrictai swung Lloyd easily over his shoulder. Lloyd slammed to the ground and skidded in a spray of sawdust—but by the time the slide ended, he was upright, bracing one hand on the floor and digging in his feet. The Constrictai charged at him again, and Lloyd danced aside and dealt him a low kick as he barreled past.

"He's gonna get killed!" moaned Jay, watching with his hands clamped over his mouth as the hook sliced fiercely every which way. "Why doesn't he use Spinjitzu?!"

The fight below had devolved into a welter of sawdust and snarling, panting forms. Eventually the Constrictai broke from the chaos. He swiped with his hook—Lloyd dodged—he swiped with his fist—and this time Lloyd grabbed his fist as it passed by and gave it an extra push, half-spinning the snake and throwing him off balance. Then he rammed his shoulder into the snake's side, sending him staggering, grabbed hold of the hook, and dug in his heels. Leaning his entire weight against the Constrictai's arm, he swung the snake around and hurled him to the floor. Before his opponent could even roll over, Lloyd pounced on his back and dealt him a crack in the skull. The snake twitched and went still.

"Winnerrrrr!" bellowed the referee, yanking Lloyd's arm high into the air. The crowd roared.

As the unconscious Constrictai was dragged from the pit, Lloyd shook off sawdust and rolled his head from shoulder to shoulder, pacing as he geared up for the next match.

"What the heck did he just—waugh, Kai!" yelped Jay, as the red ninja abruptly vaulted over the railing and thumped down into the Slither Pit. He steamrollered straight over to Lloyd and snatched his arm.

"He's done here!" he called to the referee. Ignoring the bewildered uproar breaking out among the spectators, he unceremoniously dragged Lloyd right out of the ring.

Jay, all atwitter, squirmed his way out of the crowd and headed for the tunnel that exited the Slither Pit. He met Kai there, still dragging a vehemently protesting Lloyd along.

"Let me _go!_ I was winning!"

Lloyd dug in his heels. Jay, his sympathies with Kai, gave the kid a shove, allowing Kai to keep dragging him towards the tavern exit.

"I'm gonna tell your mom," growled Kai from the front. "And I'm gonna tell the Sensei, and I'm gonna tell Cole. And if I think of anyone else who can get you in trouble, I'll tell them too!"

They were outside the tavern by now. Lloyd finally got his feet fully underneath him and yanked his arm away from Kai, glaring.

"I'm not _five!_ "

"You might as well be," snapped Kai. "What were you THINKING?"

"I dunno, what were you?" Lloyd shot back.

"Ohhh, don't you get smart with me, kid." Kai took Lloyd by the front of the shirt and pulled him up close. "Illegal. Fighting. Ring. What happens when someone recognizes you?!"

"They wouldn't have! I didn't do Spinjitzu!" Lloyd squirmed, still glowering. "I knew what I was doing. You don't have to keep treating me like a little kid who couldn't defeat a pop-up dummy. I faught the _Overlord,_ you know!"

"Which is all the more reason you should be staying out of a place like that!" Kai let go of Lloyd's shirt, and Lloyd pushed him. Jay tensed, wondering if he'd have to break up a fistfight.

"I can't believe you." Kai's eyes were bright with anger. "What would your dad think about this, huh?"

Lloyd's teeth clenched. He kept glaring, but Jay could tell that one had hit.

"I can't believe you," said Kai again, and let out an angry breath as he turned away. "We're going home." He looked back and exclaimed angrily when he saw Lloyd heading for the tavern again.

"My winnings—" began Lloyd.

"Forget the winnings!" Kai took him by the arm again. "You're leaving them."

"But it's thirty thousand ken . . . "

Kai looked at him for a moment, his mouth open. Finally he closed it with a snap and turned away.

"Jay, you go with him. I can't go back in, they'd recognize me as the guy who dragged Lloyd out of the pit."

"Uh, okay," said Jay, eager to split up this edgy congregation.

"Wait, wait, hold on," said Kai. He fished around in the alleyway litter until he came up with a sizeable metal pole.

"Take this," he said, pressing it into Jay's hand.

"Uhh . . . " Jay tried to look chill. "Sooo, they're kinda reluctant to pay out fight winnings, huh?"

"No, they'll pay you fine," said Kai. "Just ask at the bar. The stick is for Lloyd if he tries to head into that Slither Pit again. You pop him with this and drag him right out."

Lloyd muttered something highly uncomplimentary and strode back into the tavern. Jay followed.

They got a few shouts and catcalls as they headed to the bar and patrons recognized the forcibly removed Slither Pit champion. Lloyd ignored them, keeping his head down.

"Here for your winnings?" said the bartender, also recognizing him. "I gotcha, sonny. That was quite an exit you made . . . "

"It's dealt with," said Lloyd coolly. Jay raised his eyebrows. As the bartender turned away to fiddle with the cash register, Lloyd slouched with his elbows on the counter, looking moody.

"Hey," said Jay quietly. "Go easy on Kai, okay?"

Lloyd looked away.

"You scared us," said Jay. "Like, seriously. And Kai doesn't think straight when he's scared."

"He faught in that Slither Pit himself," said Lloyd.

"So he probably knows exactly how dangerous it is," said Jay. "And he's right, you know. It would be big news if the legendary Green Ninja was caught at a place like this. Big, bad news."

"Don't you start," rapped Lloyd. There was an angry spark in his eyes. Jay had to admit it must be pretty humiliating to get dragged out of a Slither Pit and chewed out like a delinquent grade-schooler, and for good measure by someone who was supposed to be your teammate, not your superior. He probably wouldn't have been too happy about that himself . . . if for some reason he was ever crazy enough to land in a Slither Pit at all.

"Just . . . let's not blow this out of proportion, huh?" he said weakly.

At this moment the bartender came over with a fistful of money, which Lloyd pocketed with a brisk nod.

"Found your hat and jacket, too," said the bartender. To Jay's surprise, Lloyd only took the items, jammed the hat on his head, and stalked off without saying thank you.

Jay tilted his head, looking after Lloyd curiously. What had gotten into that kid lately?


	73. I See What You Did There

**Gosh. Thank you so much to everyone for being so understanding. And thank you for all the good wishes! I promise before I leave I'll try to get this story as close to finished as physically and temporally possible.**

 **Looks like I've got some mad typing ahead of me.** ***Equips green Time Blade* Let's do this.**

* * *

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Oh yeah, Lloyd's living dangerously. First off, Slither Pits ain't that safe, and second off, green gummy bears taste the best. *noms* :P**

 **Jens: Thank you! ^_^  
As a rule of thumb, a ken is almooooost the same as a U.S. penny, so to convert ken to dollars, just knock off two zeroes. It gets less accurate for larger amounts, but it's good enough for government work, as they say. So anyway, 30,000 ken would be about 300 dollars.  
Yeah, for both, but mostly for the fun. He thought it would be cool.  
Yep, he's mad as a wet hen. And he's about sixteen! Although internally he might be a little below that. He's just very good at acting mature when he needs to.  
You got it! He forgot he wasn't wearing it. Luckily, though, he didn't sleeptalk at all last night.  
Thanks for the review on Backstage! Hehe, yeah, Nash answers. ^_^''**  
 **Oh, Zane didn't see real sea slugs—just a documentary about them. Everyone else fell asleep, but he was fascinated. XD  
S'mores are a treat people eat while having campfires! You toast a giant marshmallow on a stick till it's melty, then you smush it between two pieces of chocolate, which in turn are smushed between two graham crackers. Healthy? No. Delicious? Oh yeah.  
The squirrel was really a thing! Kinda. XD There was a Ninjago chapter book called "A Team Divided," about how the ninja got their jobs while Zane was "dead," and Cole really did kind of make friends with a squirrel. :P  
Charcoal marshmallows aren't that bad! Kinda caramel-y. :3  
As a snake, Nash has a very strong stomach. He'll digest it just fine. ^_^**

 **TheAmberShadow: Now I'm even more curious. Can you be more specific? What about the execution bugs ya? (Don't worry, I don't bite. Rip into this season if you wanna. Blow it out of the water. I might disagree, even strongly, but I won't hurtcha. ^_^'')  
Kai and Jay did take a little while, but Lloyd pretty much headed straight for that pit, and the fights go fast. I'd say half an hour to forty-five minutes, tops.  
Thank you!  
And from Backstage, well, it wasn't a game, but it was definitely a thing that never actually happened. You can let go of Jay now! If you want to. :P  
**

 **Fire Oreo: Yeah, Kai wasn't thinking. He rarely does. :P  
The spell for the Cursed Realm's only getting stronger! Many bad things will happen.  
Aww, I'm gonna miss you too. Thanks for the good wishes! I really hope weekends are gonna be workable. **

**Zaptrap: I'm sure as heck gonna try! Thanks. ^_^''  
Eep. Be careful what you wish for? ^_^'' Technically it was the aliens who were really important for the first stretch** **—** **they found Zane and provided ink so the ninja could retrace their path. But even if the aliens had survived and everything somehow still played out the same way without Jay, the ninja would still be trapped at the bottom of the elevator shaft. So yeah; don't let Jay say he's not useful. :P  
Yeah, I've seen some of his videos! I always get a little squirmy watching voice actors IRL, but I gotta admit the videos are awesome. ^_^  
I'd been debating on whether I should even leave that one in, to be honest. XD  
Ooooh, well it only gets better!  
**

 **Angel Star Ninja: Well, not really 'cos he'd forgotten the mouthguard** **—** **more because he's been saying the Cursed Realm spell so many times in his sleep that it's kinda started to mess him up. :/  
I did notice you weren't around as much! Ech, cringing, huh? That's part of growing older, I think. I cringe at literally everything I did as a kid. Or a year ago. 85% of my life is spent cringing. XP But hey! As long as you've found something else you enjoy. :)**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks for the review! And the support. ^_^'' Yeah, Kai's terrified the kid is gonna end up like him. :/**

 **Monranr: Thank you!**

 **Lightningcat: Thanks for the reviews! Yeah, so the rumor goes.**

 **Guest:** **Thanks very much! Lloyd'll teach those Darkley's folks to throw him out of their villain school, eh? :P Ah, but they sure could use a break.**

* * *

 **Sept 28**

 **9:44 PM**

 **Status conditions: Nya, Jay, Lloyd, Cole lightly wounded, Zane in minor disrepair**

* * *

The three ninja didn't say a word all the way back to the _Bounty_. Once they arrived, Kai immediately told everyone he'd threatened to tell. The reaction wasn't as violent as expected: Misako was dismayed but mostly just glad Lloyd was safe, Sensei Wu was disappointed and had some stern words, and Cole was kinda like "aw man, whyja do such a thing?" while visibly fighting the urge to find it kinda cool.

Lloyd took it without saying much or making too much eye contact. Kai seemed a little disappointed that he got into so little trouble. Jay stewed anxiously.

Eventually the fuss died down and Nya asked how the actual mission to Hombrito's had gone. This perked Kai and Jay up a good bit.

"Behold!" said Jay, stripping off his right glove dramatically. Everyone crowded around to peer at the palm of his upturned hand.

"What is it?" said Zane.

"It almost looks like a . . . barcode?" said Nya.

"Half a barcode." Kai pulled off his left glove and held his left hand up next to Jay's right hand. Both their palms were newly inked with black bars and lines, parallel to their fingers, running right up to the side opposite the thumb. When the sides of their hands were brought together, it created a single complete barcode.

"Unbelievable," said Cole. "What is this?"

"It must give you access to something," said Nya. "For security, the barcode is split between two people—kinda like the self-destruct sequence in _Starfarer_ needs three commanding officers to activate."

"Yeah, can we not drag nerd talk into this?" Kai rolled his eyes. "But yeah. I guess if someone tried to copy the barcodes off a Technician's hand, it would be a lot harder to steal a full working code this way. And we have to both agree on whatever it is the barcodes do."

"Well, of course we're going to agree!" Jay grinned. "We're officially _an item_."

Groans all around.

"Jay, you say that again and I swear I will punch you."

"But seriously, we're an item!" Jay looked at his hand with new interest. "Woah. Wouldn't it be awesome if we scanned this at a grocery store and it said we were a bag of tortilla chips?"

"Jay, be serious." Cole laughed in spite of himself. "It's clearly a Technician code that does Technician things."

"But what?" said Zane. "And where?"

"That," sighed Kai, looking ruefully at his hand, "I don't know. But we'll find out."

"Good thing we wear gloves while we're in uniform!" said Jay. "No Technicians are gonna realize we have their secret tattoo thingy. Imagine if they tattooed our faces instead!"

"Jay, you are seriously weird today."

"Excuse you, I passed for a legitimate _Technician_ today," said Jay. "Gimme some credit. Dexter never suspected a thing."

"Yeah, we almost blew it," said Kai. "We had no idea what he was gonna do or where he was gonna tattoo us, but luckily he asked if we were left-handed. That way we knew to take off our gloves like we'd been expecting this all along."

"I just hope you don't get blood poisoning," said Misako.

Jay and Kai exchanged glances.

"Ah, I'm sure we'll be fine," said Kai.

Jay sure hoped so.

* * *

The last fragment of the day passed quietly, although Jay got an uneasy vibe from both Kai and Lloyd. Nya was working on the last of the smartphones.

"I want to finish these tonight," she said. "So far I've been finding little bits of code in _all of them_. One each. And except for two that match, they're all different!"

"Do they mean anything?" Jay pushed Mopp aside gently. Both aliens were very suspicious of the new markings on Jay's hand and were constantly trying to rub them off.

"Nothing. They're all different, but they're all useless," sighed Nya, leaning back in her chair. "I don't think we'll be able to use the phones until I know what exactly this code is for. I'm not letting us run around with unidentified creepy things stuffed in our pockets."

"Are you certain it is really computer code?" said Misako, who had been reading a scroll in her nightgown and bathrobe. "Ancient manuscripts often diguised their true message as something else—the first word of every sentence might form a secret new sentence, for example."

"Hmmm." Nya tilted her head at the computer screen, studying one of the code fragments. "It looks like pretty standard code to me. But if I wrote all the pieces down, do you think you could give me your professional opinion?"

"Of course."

"Awesome; let me get some index cards."

Jay muffled a sigh, feeling a bit left-out as Misako and Nya disappeared into their little decryption world. He scratched gingerly at his tattooed palm, which was already getting inflamed and itchy, and shooed aside Mopp again. Meep came in, bearing a dishrag, and joined his brother in grimly scrubbing Jay's hand.

"Relax, you guys," laughed Jay. "It's supposed to look like that. Ow, ow, really, hey."

He shook the aliens off when their efforts grew a little too vigorous.

"All right, be good. Stay here and help Nya and Misako, okay?"

Meep huffed sulkily and threw an index card.

* * *

A bit past ten, Jay swung into the bunkroom with ulterior motives. Most of the others were already well on their way to bed.

"Sayyy, Kai," he said. "You, uh, think you could pop down to the all-night grocery store with me?"

Kai looked up from a book, his expression cynical.

"Why."

"I was on a grocery run earlier today, but I forgot the milk," said Jay glibly. "And there won't be time to get it tomorrow before the _Bounty_ leaves the city."

"Oh." Kai looked back to his book. "That's okay. We'll do without milk for a day or two."

"But milk is really important!" said Jay. "You know everyone likes cereal for breakfast. And oatmeal. And some of us need milk for coffee. And, uh . . . well, it's important!" He gave Kai an innocently pleading look. "I wouldn't want to leave everyone without milk. Would you?"

"Well, go ahead then," said Kai.

"Aww, but you said yourself we shouldn't go out alone!" said Jay. "Especially not in the city . . . in the middle of the night . . . "

Kai looked at him long and hard. Jay clasped his hands behind his back, smiling winningly.

"Gosh, you know what man, I'm really into this book," said Kai at last. "Maybe Cole could go with you?"

Jay's smile dropped.

"But—but—uhh—"

"Feel like running a buddy system down to the 24-hour store, Cole?" asked Kai.

"Love to," said Cole sweetly.

"Ah, you know what, I don't want to be a bother—" began Jay.

"No, no, you're right," said Kai. "Milk is very important. We wouldn't want to go without it, would we?"

"No way," agreed Cole.

Jay sputtered in baffled fury.

"And I mean, you're okay with a quick grocery run, right Jay?" Kai offered a winning smile of his own. "It's not like you were specifically luring _me_ to the store so you could talk me into testing our barcodes on the self-checkout machine to see if we're a bag of tortilla chips . . . Right?"

Cole gave a strangled snort from the closet, where he was fetching his jacket. Jay glared at him, then at Kai, but couldn't think of anything suitably biting to say. He settled for turning on his heel and striding from the room in majestic silence.

In the end Cole did end up accompanying a very sulky Jay to the grocery store, to get milk they didn't need. It did not at all improve Jay's mood that Cole spent the entire trip calling him "tortilla chip."

* * *

They got back home, and Cole went to bed. Jay grumpily put the milk away, then grumped down the hall to see if Nya had gone to bed too. Apparently she hadn't.

"Still up?" said Jay, peeking in through the door.

"Uh-huh. Still gotta finish that last . . . phone." Nya stifled a yawn.

"Did Misako find anything in the code?"

"Nope. She's still working on it in her own room, actually. But I still wanna finish scanning." Nya yawned again. "Almost done . . . "

"Hey, I'll keep you company," offered Jay. He went to fetch the other swivel chair, then sighed when he saw Mopp was asleep on it.

"Great. Now where am I gonna sit, huh?" he asked the alien.

"With me," said Nya drowsily. She scooted over on her chair a little, making room for Jay. He squeezed in next to her, his heart fluttering, and wrapped an arm around her so they wouldn't both fall off the chair. Yawning again, Nya cuddled against him and rested her head on his shoulder, still tiredly scanning her eyes over the last few lines of code.

"I'm starting to think I could just recite the entire normal code of a smartphone," she murmured. Jay tried to think of something to say, but he was . . . honestly not functioning very well up in his attic right now. He nuzzled cautiously into Nya's sleek bob cut.

"Are you eating my hair?" asked Nya amusedly.

"Mm-hmmm. Nom." Jay breathed in. He was a little surprised; Nya's hair had a clean but sharp, almost bitter smell. He'd always read about girls' hair smelling sweet (in sources he would not willingly admit), but this was actually more like a men's deodorant or something . . . Ohh, maybe it _was_ a men's scent _._ Did this have something to do with the perfume allergy?

As Nya kept scanning, Jay let his eyes rove over the control panel, taking in the clutter of notepads and gadgets and a stray screwdriver or two. He fixed on a small chalky rock on a little ledge, right under the computer monitor. It was sitting there as if it were something important, but Jay couldn't see anything special about it. It was honestly kind of an ugly rock.

"Say, what's the rock all about?" he asked. Nya gave a snort.

"You mean the limestone?"

" . . . Ohhhhhhhhh . . . " Jay squeezed his eyes shut and willed time to reverse itself. He felt Nya laugh silently beside him.

"You don't remember?"

"I do, I do," sputtered Jay, barely able to form words through his embarrassment. "I remember giving you the rock! I just didn't remember it being so . . . so, uh . . . " He gulped. "Gosh. I-I'm kinda surprised you liked it."

"Aw. Maybe it's not much to look at, but I like it for the backstory." Nya nudged against him. "I mean, what's the use of an in-joke if it makes sense out of context?"

Jay mumbled indistinctly, still feeling heat flooding his ears.

"You're not just saying that?" he ventured at last.

"Come on." Nya nudged him again and turned her head to peck him on the cheek. Jay drew in his breath, shivering, and cautiously returned the sentiment. For a few seconds they forgot about the smartphone code.

Eventually they settled down again, contented.

"You're still up?" said a voice from the door. Jay and Nya both yelped and jumped, falling off the chair in opposite directions.

Misako stood in the doorway, ensconced in her bathrobe and holding a stack of index cards. Jay and Nya shot each other an uneasy glance. How long had she been standing there?

If Misako had seen anything, she didn't let on. She waved the index cards at Nya, surprisingly alert considering the time of night.

"Sorry if I startled you. I'm not sure, but I might have something."

"No way, really?" Nya scrambled to her feet. "What did you find?"

"It's not actually something in the code," said Misako cautiously. "I may be wrong about this, since I don't know much about technology . . . "

"It's fine, it's fine!" said Nya.

"Well, when you copied the code, you marked out the sections that were 'unusual'," said Misako, laying out the index cards. "But you also copied down a little of the normal code before and after each unusual section. Correct?"

"Yeah, yup," said Nya, tilting her head.

"I noticed something about this normal code," said Misako. "Some parts match up." She pointed to two different index cards. "See? The part before the 'junk code' here is identical to the part _after_ the 'junk code' there. Does that mean anything, or . . . ?"

"Hmm. It means that the junk code was inserted into roughly the same place in the phone's normal code," said Nya, wrinkling her forehead. "Could be a coincidence, but . . . huh."

She looked closer at all the index cards. Jay watched, wondering what she saw.

"These look familiar," said Nya at last. "Hold on."

She hopped back into the swivel chair and opened a search function on the code of the current smartphone.

"Let me search up all those strings of _normal_ code I copied down," she said. "That'll tell us where the junk code was inserted."

Squinting at an index card, she typed rapidly. The computer bleeped, and the mass of text on the screen jumped dramatically, skipping to the part of the code that matched Nya's search. Nya picked up another index card and typed again. This time the text only jumped a little. Nya's eyebrows shot up. Grabbing the rest of the index cards, she began to compare them to the computer screen visually.

"How did I not notice this?!" she yelped.

"What, what, what is it?" asked Jay eagerly.

"The junk code is always inserted around the same place!" said Nya. "It might vary by a couple of lines, but it's always inserted in the part of the normal code that controls messaging!"

"Messaging?"

"You know, sending and receiving emails and text messages and stuff. All the pieces of junk code are _there!_ "

"So . . . does that mean they can be emailed and stuff?" ventured Jay.

"I think so, yeah!" Nya's eyes were wide. "The code really doesn't do anything. It's the location that matters! They're sending code from phone to phone!"

"But why would the Technicians want to send around useless code?" asked Misako.

"I don't know." Nya settled back in her chair, frowning. "Maybe the bits of code combine when you send them?"

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" said Jay. "Let's try this out."

* * *

Misako was excited, but it was late at night, so she went to bed. Nya and Jay stayed up, reassembling two of the smartphones so they could test the messaging theory. Nya did most of the precision screw work, while Jay kept her company by reading aloud Starfarer fanfictions. They squabbled good-naturedly about Aura Seafoam, a fanfiction writer whom Jay admired but about whom Nya had unkind opinions.

Finally both phones were running again. It was a ghastly hour of the night, but Jay couldn't be sleepy—not when he was about to finally get his very own smartphone.

"Works fine?" said Nya. "Great. Let's go to bed."

"Wait, what?!"

Nya grinned.

"Take the phone with you. Muted."

Jay was in his pajamas in record time. He was about to jump into bed, but caught himself at the last second when he realized it was snoring.

"What the heck?" he demanded of Cole, who was inexplicably in the lower bunk. Grumbling to himself, Jay took Meep and clambered into the top bunk.

Soon he was snuggled deep under the covers, the phone's screen casting a blue glow throughout his blanket cave. Meep nestled up next to him, poking with amazement at the shining surface. He'd seen glowy things in the computer room, but he'd never seen a glowy thing Jay could carry around in his hand.

"Shhh, no," whispered Jay, swatting him aside gently. The phone vibrated, and his heart skipped a beat. His very first text message! Ever!

It took him a few seconds to figure out how to open the messenger. There he found a tiny speech bubble: _U there?_

 _Here!_ he texted back hastily. _This. Is. AWESOME!_

 _I know, right? I'm way too excited,_ Nya texted back. _Let's send lots of messages, and tomorrow I can check if the junk code has multiplied._

Jay was all too happy to oblige. There was something absolutely thrilling about being the only one awake in the dark room, tapping away, communicating directly with Nya over in her own room. It felt . . . almost a little illicit.

Not that their content went anywhere edgy. They spent the next half-hour texting each other terrible puns and alternating song lyrics. Then they had a long conversation entirely through emojis. Jay had been teasing Nya about Aura Seafoam again, so she sent him an unamused-looking emoji. Jay sent back a snickering one, and Nya sent him a very angry one, and Jay sent her a scared one and a tiny person running, and things continued to escalate.

 _Okay, okay, you win!_ texted Jay, after Nya sent him no less than fourteen tiny yellow faces brandishing swords. He rolled his eyes, smiling, when Nya responded with an evilly grinning emoji.

 _I'm not sleepy_ , he texted. _Think we should work on our spaceship?_

 _Oh my gosh, I forgot that was even a thing._

 _It's in YOUR room!_

 _I know, I know. Gimme a break, I have a sheet over it. :P And all the Tinkertoys are in a box under my bed._

 _They are NOOOOOT Tinkertoys! Blasphemy! Not you too!_

 _I'm gambling that you won't feel like getting out of bed to throw things at me._

Before Jay could reply, a second message from Nya popped up.

 _Seriously though, we really should get to work on it._

 _Now?_ Jay texted back.

 _Nah, I'm getting sleepy. And you need sleep too. We have to roll out all the other phones tomorrow! I can't wait to see how Kai handles this._

 _Me too._

A moment's pause.

 _Well, goodnight I guess?_ Nya finally replied. Jay hesitated.

 _Um,_ he finally typed, stalling for time. He opened the emoji list and drifted his finger over the heart emoji, wondering if he dared.

 _What?_ Nya replied, puzzled by his long silence. Jay bit his lip, tapped the heart, and sent. Almost immediately he second-guessed himself. Way too corny. Too sappy. Probably too forward. Arrrrrgh what if she thought he was being creepy—

The phone hummed in his hand, and a text message with three hearts popped up. Jay muffled an ecstatic squeak, earning a strange look from Meep.

 _Night,_ Nya added.

 _G'night_.

Jay turned the phone off and put it away, but he didn't sleep just yet. For a while he just lay in the darkness and grinned like an idiot.


	74. Wu Wins the Internet

**Annnnnnnnnnnnd the chapter buffer has gone from barely three chapters to over four! Whoo whoooooo! *Sails off viaduct***

* * *

 **Guest: Well, I hope it's just a bit. ^_^''  
Nope! The ninja don't have that kind of money, and they didn't ****_need_** **smartphones before this. This is gonna be first contact with smartphones for all of them. :)  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Jens: Thanks! Heh, enjoy those tortilla chips then. XD  
I've heard you can also make s'mores by microwaving the marshmallow, so there's that! :)  
Well, Meep and Mopp are babies, so they were mostly just along for the ride. As to all the grown-up aliens on that ship . . . Wellllllllll . . . Let's just say they had a pretty good reason. :/  
Heck, _I_ forgot about the spaceship. XD That's why I put in that conversation, to give us all a reminder. :P**

 **Fire Oreo: Thanks for the review! Woah-ho, high praise. ^_^''  
I've done similar stuff too. It's fun. :3  
Someone else mentioned that he'd probably end up being a pack of toilet paper, and knowing Jay's luck that's quite likely. XD  
Oh, and thanks for the one on Backstage! Yeah, Zane was pretty tough. XD  
My headcanon is that she left. :/  
Oh yeah, that was totally Jay. XD Must be a fun crew to live with, although a little hazardous to your health. There's a very real possibility of choking on your food because they insist on being clowns during dinnertime. :P  
Huh, I dunno! I guess he'd have a pretty middling singing voice? Like an average Joe. I think he'd have a good voice for Justin Bieber's early career, though. Or "MMMBop." How cute would that be, eh?  
**

 **TheAmberShadow: I bet he is! X3  
Woah, really? I've been watching the season realllllllly carefully in hopes of doing an Everything Wrong With, and I was actually surprised at how few plot holes I found! Way better than Skybound, which was one great slathering plot hole monster. Want to give me what you found, and I'll add it to the EWW?  
Misako's definitely a smart one. ^_^  
Nah, they made a "permanent" switch a good while back, because Cole was tired of hitting his head when he woke up from nightmares. He was supposed to be in the top one.  
Considering Kai's reluctance, Jay may never know. XD  
Thanks for the review!  
**

 **BedazzleDewdrops/Kendra: Thanks for the review! Glad you're enjoying. ^_^ Haha, yeah, the whole emojis thing was based on stuff my friends and I do too. It's fun. ^_^**

 **Zaptrap: Uh-oh, you're reading in science class? XD Yeah, unfortunately things might get a little slow in the future, here and there** — **it's about time the ninja started figuring out what the Techs are doing, and that's gonna involve a lot of talking. ^_^''  
Whooo! Still liking it? :)  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Monranr: Ooooh, Oreos would be good!  
You can find English episodes too! The audio's not super-duper, but it's there.  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Hey, all Jaya variations are cool by me. OTP to noTP and everything in between. :P  
It's already happened! Eycho was supposed to be one-half of a barcode. When he died, the Techs started searching for a replacement, that's all. Once they find that replacement and he and his partner go down to Hombrito's . . . with the same codes that Kai and Jay used . . . things are gonna get awkward. :P**

* * *

 **Sept 29**

 **7:00 AM**

 **Status conditions: Nya, Jay, Lloyd, Cole lightly wounded, Zane in minor disrepair**

* * *

Despite the late bedtime Jay had no trouble waking with the alarm. He'd been so happy last night that he didn't even get nightmares.

"What are you doing in my bunk, Dirtclod?" he demanded, hanging upside-down to scowl at Cole.

"I got tired of falling out of the top one," mumbled Cole, rubbing one eye.

"Oh, so now _I_ can go falling on my head instead," said Jay. "Terrific. How come you always get to call the shots about when we switch?"

"Go 'way," mumbled Cole, rolling onto his side.

"Get up already. It's smartphone day!"

"Oh joy," muttered Kai from his own bed.

Jay found Nya already up, slugging coffee and hooking up her smartphone to check its code again. Jay handed her his own phone, and Nya gave him a drowsy smile of thanks.

The code popped up on the computer screen, and Nya quickly scrolled to the messaging section. Her hopeful expression fell.

"It did share the code, but it's just two," she said. "I thought the junk code might multiply every time we sent a message, but it's only added yours to mine."

"That's still something, right?" said Jay. "Now we know what's going on! We can combine the code from all of our phones!"

"Yeah, I guess." Nya squinted at the snippets of junk code she'd written down. "I can't really see them doing anything special even if we did combine them all, though."

Right after breakfast, Nya and Jay carried out the ceremonial presentation of the smartphones.

"Remember, these aren't as tough as our communicators," said Jay, as phone screens blinked on all around the table. "They won't exactly break if you breathe on them, but don't drop them, throw them, get them wet, or use any elements around them."

"It's asking me for a password," said Cole, holding his phone out in front of him like he expected it to bite at any moment. "Do I make one?"

"Yeah, you'll all have to make some good secure passwords," said Nya. "But first! Some rules."

There were some muffled "awwwwww"s.

"Ah, ah!" Nya shook her finger. "These rules are Sensei-approved. He and I came up with them together. So if you have any problems with 'em . . . "

Sighs of resignation.

"You need not look so disappointed," said Wu, currently sharing the senior phone with Misako. "The rules are not meant to be restrictive, only protective. I think you will agree they are important for all of our safety and professional reputations."

"Now I'm really worried," Lloyd whispered to Cole. The earth ninja only raised his eyebrows a little, clearly okay with a few rules. Lloyd huffed.

"Rule one," said Nya. "Absolutely no using these phones for inappropriate content of any kind."

"Is that honestly how little faith you have in us?"

"Just making sure," said Nya placatingly. "Rule two. Until further notice, these phones can't be used for outside communication. You can take pictures with them, but you can't post the pictures publicly or send them to anybody outside of the _Bounty_. You can visit any websites you want, but you can't join any social media websites, at least not with your own name. You can phone other people on the _Bounty_ , but not anybody else."

"Seriously?" said Kai. "What's the point of having a phone if you can't do anything with it?"

"Until we know what the Technicians are doing, that's the rule," said Nya tartly. "And by the way, brother dear, a special sub-rule for you."

"Oh no."

"I know you," said Nya. "And I know what's gonna happen if we don't nip it in the bud right now. If I catch you posting even _one_ selfie, anywhere, ever, then I will personally take a screwdriver and stab out your phone's camera. And make you watch."

"Geeeeeez, sis . . . "

"That's what I'll do," averred Nya. "Now! Rule three. I know it's gonna be tempting, but try to avoid using these phones too much. We're on a _really_ skimpy data plan."

"Data plan?" said Lloyd.

"It's like the amount of information that you can send or receive every month," said Nya. "I had to take the barest bare-bones plan—it's all we can afford."

"Huh." Lloyd tilted his head.

"So that's about it!" said Nya. "Any questions? Good. Jay and I will help you set up strong passwords. First, hit 'Create Password' . . . "

There was a _pow!_ Everyone jumped and looked at Kai, whose cell phone was now on fire.

"I didn't do anything!" he protested. Nya sighed.

"It's gonna be a lonnnnnng day . . . "

* * *

For the second time in three days, the _Bounty's_ normal schedule flew to pieces. Everyone was caught up in learning how to use the phones. Cole, Zane, and Lloyd struggled at times. Kai intensely tested the limits of "things that could possibly go wrong with a phone." Halfway through the day Nya was already sick of fixing it for him.

On the other hand, Jay felt right at home. In no time he had filled his phone up with pictures of the aliens and of the others; he'd even put a special lock on them so he couldn't accidentally send them anywhere. Now he was busy haggling with Nya.

"Just _one_ game? Pleeeeeease?" He made his best pleading-puppy face. "I would share it with everyone else, I swear! Then we wouldn't have to download any more game apps!"

"I allow one, and soon everyone's gonna want their own games." Nya shook her head. "We don't have the data plan for that."

"Aww, it would just be one . . . "

"C'mon Jay, be serious." Nya nudged him lightly with one toe. He was plunked on the control room floor, letting the aliens mess with his phone, while Nya was examining the code of her own smartphone on the computer again.

"You know these are Technician tools, not toys," she continued. "Look at mine—it's already got two new pieces of code in it. Kai and Zane texted me."

"Aww, cool! I want in! I need to text more people." Jay sat up, disentangled Meep from his phone, and began fishing through his contact list.

 _Hey Dirtclod_ , he texted, picking the first person he hadn't exchanged messages with yet. Cole, apparently unfazed, sent back a row of emojis. Jay squinted, wondering why Cole had sent him a bunch of nachos, then realized they were probably tortilla chips.

 _I hate you, you know that?_ he texted back.

 _Okay, okay, geez!_ A beat later, a second message from Cole arrived, this one filled with rows of watermelon slices.

 _YOU THINK YOU'RE AWFUL SMART, DON'T YOU?_ Jay rattled off, growling. He heard Nya giggle behind him; she must have been reading over his shoulder.

 _I can find you, you know!_ he continued to text. _I know where you live!_

 _Nooooooo. Really?!_ Cole sent a shocked-looking emoji.

 _I will take revenge on you in many horrible ways!_

 _If you can be bothered to get up and walk into the next room, that is._

 _Ohh, you don't know what I'm capable of when I'm angry! I might even walk into TWO other rooms!_

Jay was typing so fast his fingers hurt by now, laughing under his breath. Nya was watching the ongoing argument and snickering.

"Am I interrupting something?" said Lloyd from the doorway.

"Oh hey, Lloydfish," said Jay, looking up. "I haven't texted you yet! Hold on."

"Not now," said Lloyd. "I came here for something else."

"What's up?" Nya turned in her chair. Lloyd sounded unusually serious.

"You said you could only afford the cheapest data plan?" said Lloyd, shifting from foot to foot. "If you had more money, could you upgrade it?"

Nya laughed ruefully.

"Well yeah, if someone could just magically pump a couple thousand ken into our bank account, that would be—"

Lloyd fished in the folds of his gi, then pulled out a stack of bills and plunked them on the computer console.

"Will this be enough for an upgrade?"

"That's—" Nya's eyes went wide. She picked up the money and did a quick visual calculation. "Oh my gosh, this could boost us to unlimited data for like six months." Her eyes rose to meet Lloyd's. "This is your Slither Pit money, isn't it?"

"Yeah . . . but I want you to have it. Getting better tools to take down the Technicians is more important than getting a few video games." Lloyd dug his hands into his pockets. "Just, uh . . . could you not tell Kai where you got the money? I don't need him jumping down my throat again."

Jay and Nya exchanged a quick look.

"I'm sure Kai would understand," said Nya.

"Riiiiiight." Lloyd rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, cut him some slack," said Nya. "You know as well as anyone that you can't always expect Kai to act reasonable. And you were being pretty dumb yourself."

Lloyd shrugged, looking away.

"You're usually the one he counts on to take his side," said Nya quietly. "So just . . . don't stay mad at him too long, okay?"

Lloyd twitched, but still maintained a sulky expression. Finally he shook his head and turned towards the door.

"Thanks for the upgrade," Nya called after him.

She went back to typing. Jay looked at her until she finally turned towards him.

"Ye-e-e-es?"

"Question," said Jay.

Nya rolled her eyes, smiling.

"Yeah, now you can get your game."

* * *

Once the announcement went around that they now had unlimited data, things _really_ got out of hand. Everyone suddenly wanted a dozen new apps, usefulness be darned. Kai, for whatever reason, downloaded _Daily Mutton Recipes, Alphabet Zoo,_ and an app that would help him count yeast colonies in a petri dish.

Probably unintentionally, it being Kai.

But still.

"Okay, I've got everyone else's codes now!" announced Nya, unplugging her phone from the computer. "Still nothing. I'm gonna try opening emails on this thing to see if that makes a difference."

Jay crowded over her shoulder. Their wifi was still off for security, and he wondered if they'd gotten any more mystery emails from Silica.

"Oh, wow," said Nya, shifting the phone a little so he could see too. "We got one from Mindy!"

Jay grimaced.

"Is she asking for updates about the spaceship project again?"

"Yyyyep." Nya gave a pained smile. "Maybe we shouldn't reply until we have a little more progress to report."

"Maybe we should reply and go 'hey, sorry for the delay, our friend was dead'," grumbled Jay.

"Oh, be nice. She's just excited about this project," said Nya. "She doesn't need to know about our dramas."

After reading the email, Nya checked the code of her smartphone again. She gave a muffled squeak.

"Look at this!"

"Holy mackerel," said Jay. "That must be at least twenty!"

"I know! Mindy probably gets a lot of emails from different people, so she must have collected a lot of fragments. And now she's sent them all to us!"

"Can they do anything?" asked Jay.

"I don't . . . think so." Brow furrowed, Nya copy-pasted the glob of junk code into a compiler. When she tried to run it, nothing happened.

"Nope." She sighed. "This is so weird . . . "

* * *

The phone mayhem continued. Cole was hooked on Candy Crush. Lloyd and Kai were taking particular pains to create accounts on all the same websites, just so they could block each other. PIXAL was getting jealous. So were Meep and Mopp.

The afternoon was unusually quiet after training was completed. Everyone was glued to their phones, except Lloyd, who was reluctantly cooking dinner. Using a recipe from a recipe-swapping app, for that matter. Technically he'd only gotten the app to make a point of _not_ swapping hypothetical recipes with one particular person, but might as well get some use out of it on the side. Everyone else was quietly engrossed in something digital.

"Sooooo, Cole," said Jay. "What's your least favorite song? Like, the one you never want to hear again. Ever."

"Why are you asking?" said Cole suspiciously.

"No special reason." Jay gave his sweetest smile.

"He wants to hack your phone and change your ringtone to it," said Kai idly.

"Traitor!" cried Jay.

"You never swore me to secrecy," shrugged Kai. Jay fumed.

"I'm gonna hack _your_ phone. And I'll replace all your selfies with pictures of the aliens, and I'll make an alien picture your background. THAT'S what I'll do."

"Cool, then when I blow the phone up again it'll be kinda like I'm burning the aliens. I like that plan."

"YOU MONSTER. I will punch you!"

"Oh really?"

"In the face!"

"Oh boy."

"Probably repeatedly, and with actual force!"

"Now I'm worried . . . "

"Sometimes I can't believe we're related," muttered Cole.

"That's the best part," grinned Jay. "We're not. You _chose_ to be part of this nuthouse."

"Life choices." Cole sighed. He scowled at his phone as it played a defeated jingle. "Sheesh, this level!"

Off to the side, Kai's phone gave an earsplitting glitchy wail and didn't stop.

"Kaiiiii, what did you do now?" groaned Nya.

"I don't know, I touched a button, geez!" Kai held the phone away, cringing as the glitched sound continued. Meep and Mopp swarmed towards the device and gazed up at it reverently, blinking in eager approval.

"How do I make it stop? It won't do anything now!"

Cole and Jay muffled laughter as Nya took the screaming phone from Kai, sighing long-sufferingly. Meep and Mopp followed it with their eyes, shuffling themselves along to remain as close to the phone as possible. Meep pushed off the floor and hovered up to poke at the screen until Nya shooed him aside.

"Yeah, you've managed to freeze it again," she said. "Just yank the battery."

She handed the phone back to Kai, sending the aliens with it.

"Who, me?" Kai looked dismayed. "I don't know how to remove the battery—"

"You've seen me do it twice before," said Nya. "And I explained it for ya. You have enough problems, learn to solve 'em yourself."

Kai groaned, surveying the phone's battery with great pessimism. Considering what he managed to do just holding a phone normally, he didn't like to think what would happen if he tried maintenance.

"If it blows up and takes my hand off, it's _your_ fault," he told Nya, and tugged out the battery.

The screeching noise stopped. Meep and Mopp gave a chorus of disappointed _awwwwwww!_ s. Kai opened the eye he'd been squinting in expectation of an explosion.

"See?" Nya tried to cover up a sigh of relief. "Nothing happened."

"Phew." Kai looked at the battery wearily, then knit his brows. "Hey. Is this much of it supposed to come out?"

"Ohhhhh, for Pete's sake!" wailed Nya.

The others were still laughing when Lloyd poked his head in from the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready." He smirked. "What's so funny?"

"Ah, the usual," said Jay, getting up. "Technology hates Kai."

"Oh." Lloyd's expression closed off, and he turned towards the mess hall without another word. Jay glanced from him to Kai, but the red ninja seemed not to have noticed—he was arguing with Nya.

"How did you manage to bring half the phone's insides with the battery?" asked Nya, trying to stuff microchips back in by the handful. "Just how?"

"It's a used phone, they were probably loose!" said Kai, arms folded. "And so I have some bad luck, okay?"

"The phones have declared you unworthy," teased Cole, elbowing him.

"Oh, shush. They probably just can't handle my awesomeness."

They were still squabbling good-naturedly as they headed in for dinner, but the argument died away as everyone started to eat—and sneak glances at their phones between bites. Kai couldn't, obviously, but everyone else was still texting or reading a news article or playing a game. Jay was browsing a collection of memes, a little on-edge. He knew it was only a matter of time before Sensei Wu lost patience and told them all to put their phones away.

But for a long time, nothing broke the silence except the clinking of forks. Presently this clinking acquired an oddly regular pattern. One by one ninja started to look at their plates, puzzled. Then everyone's eyes snapped up when Jay suddenly gagged.

"What's with this water?!" he spluttered.

"And why is there a wooden dowel in this sausage link?" asked Nya.

"Why is this potato made of cardboard," added Cole.

Zane said nothing. He was busy fishing sour gummy worms out of his string beans, looking perplexed.

Lloyd gave a muffled snort, both hands clamped over his mouth. When the others looked to him, he caved and started to laugh.

"Whaaaaaaaat's going on here?" Cole narrowed his eyes. "What's the deal, wise guy?"

"The 'deal,' is an important lesson," said Wu blandly. Everyone looked to him, startled. "Misako and I requested for Lloyd to make some alterations to your dinner."

"What?!"

"You needed a reminder. As ninja, it is vital that you remain alert, prepared, and aware of your surroundings at all times. Over the day it became obvious that you were allowing your new phones to distract you. Just now you all spent altogether too long stabbing your forks at wood and cardboard—or completely missing that someone was pouring salt into your drink."

Jay made a muffled disgusted noise, eyeing his water glass woundedly.

"This time it was only harmless tampering with your dinner." Wu, already finished, picked up his plate and stood to leave. "Next time it may be your life. Bear that in mind."

Nothing was said. Silently everyone put their phones away and set to work fixing up their meals. Jay went to rinse his mouth and get a new glass of water.

Eventually though, Misako finished eating as well and left. Lloyd gulped as everyone immediately looked to him.

"Youuuuuuuuu little scab," said Cole.

"It wasn't my idea, I swear!" said Lloyd, throwing up his hands. "I mean, come on, I couldn't say no to the _Sensei._ He and Mom came up with all of it!"

"Ohhh, perfect!" said Jay. "We've just been had by a couple of old people."

There was a sulky silence.

"These are not disagreeable," said Zane out of nowhere, munching a gummy worm.

Nya snorted and started to laugh wearily. Lloyd muffled a sigh of relief as the others relaxed and chuckled, taking some gummy worms from the handful Zane offered.

"On the bright side, salt water makes a good disinfecting mouthwash!" said Jay. "But, uh, maybe after dinner, not during."

"You do realize he picked you for the salt because you're the most oblivious?" said Cole. "He had to do that _while_ you were sitting right there. And you didn't notice."

"Ohhhh, like you're in any shape to judge, Mr. Cardboard Hash Browns!"

Cole gave Jay an exasperated look while the others laughed.

"I gotta say, for a second there I thought you really were gonna eat the cardboard," giggled Lloyd.

"Whaddaya mean 'thought I was gonna'?" Cole grabbed his fork and knife. "Gimme the ketchup."

"Cole no."

"What are you trying to do?"

"We'll see who gets the last laugh," said Cole, sawing grimly at the cardboard. "This could be good. Extra fiber in the diet."

"Don't eat the cardboard potatoes!"

Amidst the continuing nonsense, Jay caught Nya's eye and sobered. She looked oddly quiet. He followed her gaze and saw that she was watching Kai, who was also sitting unusually quietly, pushing a few string bean seeds around on his plate. He must be feeling left out . . . of course, his phone wasn't working, he wouldn't have fallen for anything anyway. But either way nothing had been attempted. It was meant to be a statement. Jay groaned internally.

* * *

They spent the rest of the evening doing their best to ignore their phones, not wanting to give the Sensei any more ideas. Just before bed, though, Nya did a final check of the _Bounty's_ email.

"Hey guys," she called. "We got an email from Sylvia!"

"Oh no. Does she want another alien podcast?"

"Nah, she's just thanking us for the last one." As the others came over to listen, Nya read the email aloud. "'Hi ninja; just wanted to say thank you so much again for agreeing to speak on my podcast. It's already gotten more plays than all my other podcasts combined, and it's really raised interest in the other ones too. I think I might even be able to get the attention of some serious professionals. There might be a science mission to Arcturus in our future! Though I guess you guys wouldn't want to volunteer for a repeat visit, haha. Thanks again; I owe you all a ton, so if I can ever do anything for you, just ask. Sylvia Werther.' Awwww, well that's nice!"

"Man," said Cole, rubbing his head. "I never thought people would be using my name to make their stuff famous."

"I know! Isn't it the coolest?" grinned Jay.

"I dunno, honestly."

"Are you on your phones again?" Wu poked his head into the room.

"No Sensei! Just reading a quick email," said Nya hastily. "We're done! Going to bed."

Wu nodded and disappeared again.

"Jay." Nya caught the back of Jay's shirt as he headed off. "New email. You know what that means."

"Oh!" Jay brightened, then looked around cautiously. "What if Sensei catches us?"

"We'll have to be quiet," said Nya. "And even if he does, we're working to take down the Technicians. We can't get in trouble for that!"

They hustled themselves down to the control room, and Nya set to work hooking up her cell phone to the computer yet again.

"So, what do we do about Lloyd and Kai?" asked Jay as he waited. "I've never known them to stay mad at each other for this long. I've never known Lloyd to stay mad at _anyone_ for this long."

"Well, there's a first time for everything," said Nya. "He's probably entering his moody years just about now."

"I'll say," said Jay. "I already talked to him too, you know. He doesn't want to hear anything about it."

"Yeah, it seems to be making them both pretty miserable," said Nya, sighing. "But there's not much we can do. It's never a good idea to interfere in these things."

"I guess." Jay folded his arms. "I just hope this blows over fast. It's really a downer having people giving each other the evil eye in the background all the time."

Nya looked at him over her shoulder, one eyebrow quirked.

"What?" said Jay.

Nya's other eyebrow rose to join the first one. Jay looked at her blankly for a while before registering. He reddened.

"Maybe I'll just be quiet now."

Nya chuckled gently, turning to the phone code. She fell back in her chair a little and didn't say anything.

"Holy. Cow," said Jay, looking over her shoulder. "How much code _is_ that?"

"It must be at least a hundred junk fragments," said Nya, awed. She scrolled through the gigantic chunk of foreign code now stuffed into the normal code of her phone. "Some fragments repeat now, and there are tons I don't recognize!"

"It looks like my parents' junkyard in code form," said Jay. "Do you think it could do something?"

"Let's find out." Nya copy-pasted the entire gigantic mishmash into a compiler. She and Jay held their breaths as she hit "compile."

A whole minute later the compiler was still running, though, so they resumed breathing.

"Longest minute ever," joked Nya anxiously. Jay gave an equally strained chuckle. They were both a little scared of what they would find.

The computer suddenly gave a liquidy chirp as a text box appeared. Jay and Nya both jumped. That wasn't the standard format used on the _Bounty'_ s computer. INITIATE SCAN? read the text.

Jay and Nya looked at each other.

"Let me do this on my phone instead," said Nya. "I'd rather not blow out the _Bounty_ 's entire computer system."

It only took a few minutes of fiddling with Nya's phone to get the same textbox to pop up. Teeth clamped over lip, Nya punched "YES."

A little buffering-circle appeared. The two teenagers watched, their heads bumping lightly as they bent over the small phone screen.

FOUND: 1, a textbox suddenly announced. Then there was a mysterious jumble of letters and numbers—presumably the one thing the scan had found. A button next to the jumble asked ENGAGE?

The back of Jay's neck prickled. He felt like he was in some kind of spy movie, and this was the moment just before a jumpscare.

"Are we gonna push it?" he asked, his voice hushed. "What if it's something dangerous? What if it's a _missile?_ "

"Ehh. That's not any missile code I know," said Nya.

"Wait. You _know_ missile codes? How do you—Nya no!"

Nya had already pressed the ENGAGE button. She and Jay waited, motionless.

SUCCESS, chirped a new textbox, flashing a green checkmark. A second of silence.

Then somewhere nearby, a soft rattle.

They both stiffened. The sound came again, a sort of scuffling, scrabbling noise. It wasn't in the room, but it was definitely somewhere on the ship.

Jay and Nya's eyes locked. Something was _right here_. On their ship. Moving around. Controlled by Technician programming.

"We have to find it," whispered Nya.

They crept out into the hallway. They quickly realized the sound was related to Nya's phone—whenever she tilted it, the rattling came again. She kept angling the phone, her head cocked to listen, her eyes bright with concentration in the dark. Jay fought the urge to clutch onto her arm.

"It's the spare room," he whispered. Nya nodded.

Hearts thumping, they slowly turned the knob and cracked open the door. Jay thought about Zane's brainless shell lying in here only a few days ago, and instantly regretted it.

Nya pushed open the door far enough to step through. Nothing leaped out at them. The room was dark, and Nya groped for the lightswitch. The dirty light from the bare lightbulb on the ceiling didn't offer much comfort.

They stood close together, waiting. It was quiet. Hesitantly Nya tilted her phone.

The rattle seemed awfully loud now, right behind a stack of boxes. Jay grabbed for Nya's arm just as she grabbed for his.

"It's . . . it's our own ship," said Nya uncertainly. "There's nothing dangerous on it. We know everything in this spare room."

Jay nodded.

Holding hands tightly, they circled around behind the stack of boxes. Nya kept tilting her phone around and around, making the rattle carry on constantly. One last step, and they had a clear view.

A tiny green radio-controlled helicopter, its rotors tangled in a yo-yo string, was tumbling in bouncy circles on the floor. Jay relaxed, almost laughing—he remembered this helicopter, he'd bought it a few months ago to keep Lloyd busy after he sprained his ankle.

He turned to Nya, about to say something funny, but stopped when he saw her expression. She was looking from the helicopter to the phone and back again, her eyes wide.

"Fizzims," she whispered. "We're in trouble."


	75. Now Look at This Net, That We Just Found

**Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Heh, yeah, he hadn't yet hit his selfie-crazed phase. :P**

 **TheAmberShadow: Well, okay then! I guess once the EWW comes out you'll have to tell me if I missed anything. :)  
Yeah, I thought I heard there was gonna be Yang, but maybe that's the next season. And believe me, it's not the first time that a new season has matched up creepily with ideas I already had. XD  
Aww, nah** ** **—** it's really useful for them to have a better data plan! The kiddo's just making his contribution to the team. And PIXAL was getting jealous because Zane was paying so much attention to his phone and not to her. :P  
Yep; they had it lying around in the spare room after they all got bored of playing with it a few months back.  
Say, everything okay? You've been sounding a little distant lately. Could be just me, but I thought I'd ask. ^_^''  
**

 **Jens: A little. Maybe. Not going into specifics. ;)  
Heh, but did your friend get them all by accident? :P  
I know, I know. Too much other dang stuff going on in this story. I figured I'd better drag those characters back into the spotlight one way or the other. And yay! I always pick the titles carefully, so it's good to see the connection to each chapter works. ^_^  
Nah, he didn't really eat it.  
Again, too many other dang things happening in this story. I can't keep _everything_ on the front burner at once. XD  
Sure thing! And it has been dead, several times, but Nya always resuscitated it. :P  
**

 **Fire Oreo: He mostly just suffers because he has to keep asking Nya for repairs. XD And yeah, Jay may not know their exact passwords, but I'm sure with some patience he could guess them . . .  
If Cole ever does lay off the tortilla chips, he will most definitely find something else to tease Jay about.  
He probably has no idea those are even on his phone. He downloaded them accidentally. :P  
Huh, no idea! Probably some kind of heavy metal or smooth jazz or something. The aliens are fine! A little cranky that Jay won't let them play with his phone more, but fine.  
Yeah, Sensei Wu keeps setting Lloyd up against everyone else. XD Luckily for the kid, the others are less likely to try scragging him this time around . . . Although I can't promise he didn't still pay for it later. :P  
Nah, he wouldn't have eaten it; he was just fooling around. Heh, those two, make up? Never.  
**

 **BedazzleDewdrops/Kendra: Thanks for the review! By the way, is Kendra just your other name, or are you a different person from the "actual" BedazzleDewdrops? So I know if I should use both names. ^_^''**

 **Wowlookimhere: Hi there! Ah man, I totally know what you mean with the long fics being intimidating, so thanks so much for giving this one a try! ^_^ Yeah, I update every Tuesday. And I'm gonna keep doing that until late July, at least! And after that I'm not sure what's gonna happen.  
Heh, I happen to be very fond of their teenager-ness. Sure, I know they were teachers, but come on. We're talking about a universe where people shoot elements from their hands and use martial arts to fly, ghosts exist as transparent green entities, and magical crystals can transport you to alternate dimensions. And we're asking them to be realistic about the degrees you need to be a teacher?  
So yeah. It's fiction. In fiction little kids can save the universe and nobody ever grows older. And I actually really like that. So it's all teens for me. ^_^  
As you can see, I do reply to everyone! Or at least, everyone who guest reviews. Since I can't reply to those by PM like I do for logged-in users. :)  
Thanks again!  
**

 **Zaptrap: HOOOOOO yeah, I was not okay after that chapter either. Holy frick. XD But have you seen 49? BEST CHAPTER.  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Anonymous7: They were really checking email! Emails and text messages carry tiny pieces of "junk" code that the Technicians inserted into the regular code of many phones and computers. When someone sends a text or email, the receiving computer gets a copy of the junk code. The little bits can combine together that way. Now Nya's got a ton of fragments collected in her phone, and there's enough of them that they can take over the RC helicopter.  
Thanks muchly!**

 **Dr bug: I don't know if you'll see this, but thank you so much for the message! It's so cool to meet you, at least online. ^_^**

* * *

 **Sept 30**

 **7:05 AM**

 **Status conditions: Jay, Lloyd, Cole lightly wounded, Zane in minor disrepair**

* * *

The next morning Nya dragged everyone up early. She and Jay hadn't slept much.

"You wake us up in a panic for _this?_ " yawned Kai. Jay had untangled the yo-yo string from the radio helicopter and straightened out the rotors, and now he was piloting it in tight circles using Nya's phone.

"You remember this helicopter?" said Jay. "It had a remote control, right?"

"So you got a phone to control it instead," shrugged Kai. "Why'd you even do that?"

" _We_ didn't," said Nya. "The Technicians did."

". . . They're gonna take over Ninjago with RC helicopters?"

Cole, sensing Nya was getting exasperated, smacked Kai lightly in the head to shut him up.

"What happened, Nya? Should we be worried?"

"Very worried."

"Last night we got that email from Sylvia, remember?" said Jay. "And another from Mindy. The emails had a _lot_ of junk code fragments in them. We ended up with a giant glob of junk code in Nya's phone. We didn't do anything except activate it—and then it scanned the _Bounty_ , found this helicopter, and took control of it. I think I don't need to tell you that's not something smartphones are supposed to be able to do."

Some silence as the others digested this information.

"But it only controlled the helicopter," said Cole. "How dangerous can that be?"

"I'm guessing the code gets more powerful the more of it you collect," said Nya. "I got some texts from you guys and two emails, and I'm already able to control things that run on radio frequencies. More fragments, and maybe I could hack into number keypads. Some more—maybe smartphones and computers."

"And there might not be much on the _Bounty_ , but there are so many other things out there to control," said Jay. "Smart TVs. Home Wi-Fi."

"Newer video game systems," added Nya. "Security systems. Cars with built-in computers. Mainframes. Databases. Cloud storage."

"Satellites. Airport control towers. High-security government computer systems. Pretty. Much. Everything."

"And the Techs would control all of it."

A long silence.

"Well, this bites," said Kai at last. Cole tousled back his hair, looking overwhelmed.

"I think we should talk to Dr. Borg."

* * *

It wasn't easy setting up a meeting with the doctor. He was very busy, as usual, and the only quick way they could contact him was through the phone. They were paranoid that the Technicians controlled the phone lines too, so they didn't want to explicitly state that they had a serious technological emergency to discuss. At the same time, though, they had to somehow convince Borg that he had to drop everything _right now_ and meet with them.

Luckily, Borg was pretty sharp. He knew the ninja wouldn't just call him up and ask to meet today for some petty reason, no matter how casual they might sound.

"He said he'll see us at two," said Jay, hanging up. "I bet he'll have to miss a meeting or something for that. What a guy."

"Do you think he's gonna know any more about this than us, though?" said Lloyd.

"Oh, come on. You know he's a genius!" scoffed Jay.

"Clearly, so is this Silica person," said Kai, folding his arms.

"Relax! Dr. Borg is a match for anyone." Jay smiled anxiously. "I think."

"One thing concerns me, though," said Zane. "Dr. Borg's office is full of computers and other technology. When we go there, we migh—"

Suddenly his voice cut out. His eyes went dark, and he collapsed to the floor with a clatter.

"ZANE!" Horrified, the others dove to the Nindroid's side. He wasn't responding.

"What happened, what happened?" yelped Lloyd.

"I don't know! He just—"

"Oh my gosh, what if the Techs can _take over Nindroids?_ What if they've got him?! WHAT DO WE DO NOW—"

"It's me, it's me!" Nya yelled from the doorway, adding to the panicked uproar. "My fault!"

"Where am I?! What's happening?!" shouted Zane, suddenly sitting bolt upright.

"You're ALIVE!"

"What's going on in here?!" Now Cole had showed up in the doorway, Sensei Wu and Misako close behind him. The aliens were kicking up an awful fuss several rooms over.

"Stop, stop, everyone calm down!" Nya shouted, waving her hands. Slowly the chaos subsided. She groaned, pushing back her somewhat frazzled hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My fault. I thought when we were visiting Dr. Borg, he'd have all these computers in his office that could spy on us. So I was testing an EMP device that could knock them out temporarily, and it was . . . more powerful than I expected, clearly." She gave Zane an apologetic look. "Are you okay?"

"Quite fine, thank you," said Zane, rubbing his head. "How long was I unconscious?"

"Only a few seconds," said Kai. "Good grief sis, you scared us _stiff._ "

"I know, I'm sorryyyyyy," groaned Nya. "Ugh. At least we know the EMP generator works."

"Meep and Mopp don't seem to like it very much," said Lloyd. The aliens were still screeching furiously from the kitchen. "Maybe it reminds them of their ship crashing. That knocked out Zane too, remember?"

"Man." Jay got up to head to the kitchen. "I'll go see if I can calm them down."

* * *

Nya's EMP device was pretty bulky, so they again found themselves smuggling a camping backpack into Borg Industries.

"Gracious, this is quite the committee," said Dr. Borg when the entire posse came pouring out of the elevator. He was smiling, but there was a slight crease between his eyebrows. "So, what brings you here? You can speak freely, I've already shut off all my devices. I thought if you were being cautious over the phone, it wouldn't hurt to set your mind at ease over more, ah—advanced technology."

Jay smiled in admiration. Dr. Borg really did have a lot of trust in them—and foresight.

"If it's all right with you, Doctor," said Nya, taking the backpack from Cole, "I'd rather make completely sure. Not that I don't trust you, but—"

"Of course, of course," said Borg. He wheeled his wheelchair closer to examine the device Nya was unpacking. "That's quite the contraption you have there."

"Thanks. Built it this morning!" said Nya, fishing out the device's remote. "Okay, guys."

Lloyd and Jay took hold of Zane's arms. Nya flicked the device on, and Zane went limp.

"Heavens," said Borg, startled. "Is he all right?"

"He's fine," said Lloyd, trying to keep the floppy Nindroid upright. "Um—"

"Allow me." Dr. Borg dragged over a chair.

Once they'd gotten Zane comfortably situated, they got down to business.

"Sorry about that. We would have left Zane at home, but he said he could serve as a litmus test for the EMP generator," said Nya. "Now we'll know if it stops working."

"You're taking an awful lot of precautions." The crease between Borg's eyebrows deepened. "Tell me what's going on."

They told him, as best they could. Nya showed him a printout of the junk code mishmash.

"Is this as bad as we think it is?" she said.

"I'm afraid so." Dr. Borg studied the printout, his expression troubled. "This code certainly spreads through communication between different electronic devices. Emails, texts, perhaps even phone calls. There are still loose ends on this collection you have here—it could continue to grow. No doubt it would become even more powerful if it got larger."

"How powerful could it get?" asked Cole.

"At a low stage, it could be used as a keylogging or wiretapping program: it could steal information or spy on phone owners. As you've told me, it can also scan for nearby electronic devices and determine the best way to communicate with them—so even if a device does not have any malignant code in it, it could still come under the control of another device which does. Security cameras, for instance. Many modern CCTV cameras operate using radio frequencies, and this 'remote takeover' sequence could easily tap into those transmissions."

"So . . . essentially every security camera, phone camera, and webcam in Ninjago could become a Technician spy," said Nya.

"Precisely. And then . . . I fear there might be even worse possibilities . . . "

The doctor trailed off.

"Such as?" said Kai finally, sounding like he wished he didn't have to ask.

"Potentially this program could become unstoppable. It would turn all of Ninjago's technology into a 'zombie web,' if you will, and could even gain control over government computers—or the entire electrical grid." Dr. Borg pushed his glasses up on his nose nervously. "They could essentially hold all of Ninjago's technology hostage until their demands are met. Perhaps even threaten total blackout."

"Peachy," said Kai, rubbing his forehead. "Because we all _so_ enjoyed that the last time."

"But that's not so bad then, is it?" said Cole hopefully. "Ninjago's been in total blackout before. It survived."

"True," said Dr. Borg, pushing up his glasses again. "And granted, Ninjago is not as heavily dependent on 'the grid' as it was before. But electricity is still an absolutely indispensable part of modern life. The last time you put the power out, civilization nearly crumbled—and that was only over a few days. If these Technicians were to put the power out indefinitely—well, I don't like to think about it."

"So they still have a ton of bargaining power," said Cole.

"I'm afraid so."

"And also nearly unlimited access to spy on us," said Kai.

"And a scattered network of private computers and phones, which makes it impossible for us to destroy all the dangerous code," said Nya.

"And way more info on us than we have on them," said Jay.

"They do seem to hold all the cards, yes," said Borg quietly.

Nobody said anything for a bit. Everyone was thinking about the scale of what they were facing. All of Ninjago was about to lie at the mercy of a few deranged villains—and this time it wasn't the kind of problem that could be solved by punching the right army.

"What do we do?" said Jay at last.

"We should tell everyone," said Kai. "Let them all know an evil organization is messing with their phones and computers. That's something I'd want to know, for sure."

"But it could cause mass panic," said Nya. "It would be almost as bad as the Technicians actively taking the technology hostage. Then on top of that, the Technicians would know we're onto them, and they'd back out and disappear. We'd never be able to catch them. They'd wait around long enough to snipe us all off and come back."

Kai gave a disbelieving snort, surprised that his sister had managed to out-dark him.

"That's true," said Cole. "But we can't just hide this kind of information from everyone. They have a right to know."

"For the time being, I think we don't have any choice," said Dr. Borg. "If we take down the Technician threat first, the danger will be eliminated from the source. We can tell the people then."

"What about the government?" said Cole.

"Can't tell them either." Nya shook her head. "We can't be sure how they'd respond. The Ninjago Department of Defense is usually pretty big on making threats public knowledge, and I'm not sure we could convince them it's important to keep this secret."

"So . . . we have to work behind the government's back?" said Cole unhappily. "This feels wrong."

"I know. But we can't trust _anyone_."

The ninja looked at each other unhappily.

"Let's get this over with fast, then," said Cole. "Tell us what we can do, Dr. Borg."

"We have to stop using all technology, right?" said Kai.

"Actually, I would advise against that," said Borg. "It might lead to the same effect as telling the public about the malicious code. If you suddenly cease all use of technology, the Technicians will realize you're onto them. I have no doubt they've already been rooting around in your computers, so they would notice if you suddenly dropped offline."

"That's how they knew we were coming for them at Gisher!" blurted Lloyd. "They saw we had their files! They probably even saw which ones we were reading!"

"Maybe they even heard us talking about them." Cole looked sick. "Or _saw_ us."

"Holy guacamole." Jay's hands flew to his head. "What if they've seen the aliens?!"

A grim silence.

"Well . . . it's . . . not like they can do much with that information, right?" said Cole weakly. "I mean, what are they gonna say? 'Hi Ninjago, we're the evil organization tapping all your cameras, we're gonna tell you about the aliens the ninja are hiding'?"

"They could still leak the information some other way," said Nya. "But it's too late to undo that. Right now all we can do is hope that they _haven't_ seen the aliens. Hope hard."

"This is the worrrrrrst . . . " groaned Jay. "We can't just let them keep spying on us, but we can't make them stop spying on us either!"

"I'm afraid so," said Borg. "Forgoing technology would tip them off. Removing the malicious code would tip them off. Who knows—perhaps they happened to try watching _me_ at this very moment, and have noticed that all my devices are mysteriously off. It all depends on where they're looking right now, and we have no way of knowing."

"Ohh, wonderful," said Kai. "A Ninjago-wide game of Wink Murder."

"But then . . . what do we do?" said Lloyd. "Is there anything we _can_ do?"

"There may be something." Dr. Borg looked again at the printouts. "I would have to study this code a bit more to get an idea of what we're facing. I would also have to see if I can make some secure contacts with people I know. I'll get back to you by tomorrow morning at the latest. Meanwhile, will you begin constructing attack plans?"

"On it," said Nya.

"But how will we contact you?" said Cole. "I don't think we should be sending you emails, especially if we're talking about our plan to take down the Techs."

"Hmmm. Standard mail might be a bit slow . . . " The doctor flashed one of his crooked smiles. "I don't suppose Zane's falcon would be willing to play carrier pigeon."

The ninja went quiet. Jay glanced reflexively to Zane, who was luckily still out cold in the chair.

"Something I said?" asked Dr. Borg, frowning.

"The falcon was killed in the line of duty," said Jay. He cringed a little as soon as he'd said it. He'd thought it would be a respectful way to refer to the falcon's demise, but out loud it just sounded pretentious.

"Oh, I see." Dr. Borg also glanced back to Zane. "I'm sorry."

"On that topic, though," said Nya. "I know it's a really bad time to ask, but, uh . . . if we found the falcon's old blueprints, do you think you could help us upgrade them and build Zane a new falcon? I think he really misses it."

"Of course, gladly," said Dr. Borg. "As soon as we have this situation more fully under control."

"Right, right."

"I have an idea for communication, then," said Dr. Borg. He wheeled over to a cupboard and pulled out a box, which he handed to Cole.

"A drone?!" Despite the gravity of the situation Jay's eyes lit up like sparklers. "No way!"

"The latest model," said Dr. Borg. "Excellent battery life, top-notch maneuverability. The remote operates on a very unusual frequency, so I don't believe the Technicians will be able to hijack it too easily. Not many standard devices produce such a frequency."

"This is too cool," gushed Jay, plucking the box from Cole's hands so he could read the back.

"Would you be serious? We kind of have a national crisis here," said Cole. Still, he was smiling just a little. The mood in the room lightened marginally.

"Feel free to take it home, play around with it till you get used to the controls," said Dr. Borg. "Whenever you need to send me a message, just clip a note into its lockable carrying compartment, set the destination coordinates to HOME, and send it on its way. Send it over once you've got the hang of it, and I'll use it to send a message back to you."

"You're the greatest, Dr. Borg," said Jay earnestly.

With the meeting over, they turned off the EMP generator. Zane took a few seconds to pull himself together.

"Did you figure it out?" he asked sleepily.

"Oh, yeah." Kai steadied him on his feet. "We're all gonna play Wink Murder, and the winner gets Ninjago."

" . . . What?"

"We'll explain on the ride home."

On the way out of Borg Industries, Jay considered stopping by to visit Mindy, but quickly pushed that thought away. They had more important things to worry about right now. Besides, he wasn't sure he could trust Cole to behave himself.

He had never felt so nervous coming home before. He was suddenly sharply aware of every little bit of technology on the _Bounty_. All the security cameras. Computers. Their new smartphones. They had all agreed on the way home that they must take special pains to act natural and not leery of anything electronic, but it was _harrrrrrrrd._

Luckily Nya had already disconnected the security system and most spy-able devices earlier, breaks in the ship's wi-fi were commonplace by now, and Wu had conveniently given them a good reason not to look at their phones much. Jay looked at all his photos and videos of the aliens and cringed.

"We should keep busy," said Nya briskly. "Let's figure out this drone."

They were pretending that they'd gotten the drone themselves, for spying. As they unpacked the box, the others all tried to 'casually' drop comments about how useful this would be for scoping out Technician bases. Jay struggled not to slap his forehead. They were all _really_ bad actors.

The tension dropped a little as they got drawn into the drone unpacking.

"They say it can fly upside-down!" Lloyd was plunked on the floor reading the instruction manual. "And in winds up to 30 miles per hour!"

"Intelligent obstacle navigation, too," said Cole, reading over his shoulder. "Well, if it can do better than video game AI, I'll be happy."

"And the battery life on this thing is incredible," said Nya. "I wish the _Bounty_ would take notes."

"This is so awesome," said Jay for at least the tenth time, feasting his eyes on the drone's sleek black casing. "We should customize it!"

"Let's learn to fly it first," said Nya.

The controls were surprisingly intuitive, and they soon had the dog-sized device hovering around the room, its six helicopter rotors humming shrilly. At this point the aliens completely lost their minds.

"Meep no!" gasped Jay, yanking the alien back before he could attack. "That's dangerous!"

Mopp was stuck on the floor, but he screamed with bloodcurdling hatred and flopped about after the drone, glaring and thrashing about.

"What's gotten into them?" asked Zane, helping Jay restrain Meep.

"I dunno, but somebody turn that drone off!"

They finally landed the drone and managed to soothe the aliens. It took a lot of work to convince them not to tear the thing to pieces even after it stopped running.

"I guess they must not like anything else that hovers," said Cole, scratching his head.

To Jay's chagrin, he had to miss out on any further steering practice. The others made him lock the aliens in the spare room and stay with them to calm them down—not that they paid much attention to him. They just threw themselves at the wall closest to the drone and screeched bloody murder.

Once they were confident with the manual controls, they took the drone's included homing beacon and set it to "HOME 2," so it could find them when Borg sent it back. Then Cole sat down to write Borg a note. Jay left the aliens and went over to see about customizing the drone.

"Do we have any bright permanent paint?" he asked, as Lloyd rummaged through their fix-it kit. "Maybe enamel?"

"Nope. Did you find anything while you were in the spare room?"

"Polka-dot duct tape and a roll of stickers."

"Uhhh . . . " Lloyd looked at the items Jay held out and snorted. "Well, okay. We also do have some leftover glitter glue."

They set to work. Zane and Kai were helping too, and Jay found himself watching with uneasy fascination. Lloyd and Kai didn't exactly _ignore_ each other, and they didn't exactly give each other dirty looks. They were just silent and very, very . . . _very_ . . . cold. It was the creepiest.

Cole came in a while later and stopped when he saw the drone decorated in duct tape, glittery squiggles, and multicolored pony stickers.

"Ohhhh, for the love of . . . " He dragged a hand down his face. "What are you doing?!"

"Customizing our drone," said Jay, carefully trimming a bit of loose tape. "We've decided to name it Chorky. Chorky the Glitter Drone."

"Is it too much to ask for you guys to do even _one_ thing like professional, responsible adults?"

"Yes it is." Jay scowled, chucking a roll of duct tape in Cole's direction. "Why're you leaving us?"

"I dunno. Maybe because I don't wanna be around when Dr. Borg sees what you did to his drone," said Cole.

The others sobered.

"Wait. You think he'd mind?"

"He might," said Cole, arms folded. "It's kinda still his drone."

"Shooooooooot . . . " Kai tugged without much hope at some of the duct tape. "This may have been a mistake."

They added an apology to the end of Cole's note and sent the drone on its way. Jay watched as it whirred away from the _Bounty's_ deck, shrinking to a glittery spot in the sunset light.

"I hope Dr. Borg isn't too mad," he said. Cole laughed wearily.

"Let's just hope that's our most serious problem."

* * *

 **A/N: Apologies to Disney and Bad Lip Reading, don't sue me guys.**

 **In reality I think EMPs would actually be pretty damaging to electronic devices—probably fry them permanently. But I'm operating on Hardy Boys physics here, and the Hardy Boys can temporarily knock out cameras with EMPs.**

 **Hardy Boys physics are great stuff, y'know. If given a choice, make sure you live in their universe; it has the best physics. And the Hardy Boys.**


	76. Notice Me Sempai

**Just for the record, the chapter title has nnnnnothing to do with Yandere Simulator. None.**

 **Gonna be another somewhat talkie chapter** — **figuring out how to save Ninjago is a complex business. On the plus side, gonna have some Jay being Jay. And next chapter's gonna have vandalism. So that'll be fun.**

* * *

 **Kairocksrainbow: Yep, finally some action! Borg doesn't know how to build a falcon yet, but hopefully they'll find blueprints soon. And they need a customized drone to properly represent their ninja team! Not sure what kind of impression Chorky is gonna give, but yeah. :P**

 **Fire Oreo: Don't worry, Zane's probably fine! He's extremely complex and he has free will, he'd be very hard to hack.  
Heh, it depends on what you consider "soon." Me and my complete lack of concision. XD  
Cole is just no fun. We can hope that Dr. Borg is more fun, though. :P**

 **TheAmberShadow: Hey, as long as you're okay! Hope you enjoyed your vacation. :)  
Well, it kinda fits into canon. I mean, you've probably guessed that this is supposed to explain why Zane's falcon no longer had feathers by Season 5, but by now even I can't convince myself that ALL this crazy stuff happened between Seasons 4 and 5. XD  
Yeah, a bit of both I guess. Mostly they just think they should be the only things allowed to hover on this ship. :P  
The name was Jay's idea, of course. XD But I got it from the Bad Lip Reading of "High School Musical," where Troy Bolton is instead called Chorky. It's good fun.  
Yes, and yes! You caught it. ;)**

 **Kendra: I'll call you Kendra then! If that's okay. ^_^ Heh, yeah, it does have undertones of Rebooted, when you put it that way. Although unfortunately Silica's voice is not as cool as the Digital Overlord's. :P**

 **Anonymous7: Heh, actually no! I know next to nothing about coding. But I'm glad I fake it that well! ^_^''  
The name is from Bad Lip Reading, actually. High School Musical. "Hey, let's all yell Chorky's name!" "CHOR-KY!"  
Yep! Just a few chapters ago they had that fight at Yang's Tavern after Lloyd went into the Slither Pit, and they haven't been the same since.**

 **Anonymous. exe: _WHEN I SAY GO, BE READY TO THROW!_  
. . . Yes it is. :P  
Thanks for the review! Glad you've been enjoying. Angsty Lloyd? Oh, you bet. Cloudy with a high chance of angsty fish dinners.**

 **Jens: Ah, gotcha. ^_^  
Eep. :3  
We'll seeeeee . . . Thanks for the review!  
**

* * *

 **Oct 1**

 **7:01 AM**

 **Status conditions: Jay, Lloyd lightly wounded, Zane in minor disrepair**

* * *

The next morning Jay awoke to the aliens bouncing about on his head, chirping happily.

"Geeeez," he groaned, rubbing one eye. "I should've named you little monsters Ash and Dust. I'm always waking up to you."

Meep chirruped and tugged at Jay's pajama collar. He and Mopp were still celebrating yesterday's triumph. They were convinced they had chased that demon drone off the ship themselves. Jay chuckled drowsily and scratched between their eyes, glad that at least they were still carefree.

The morning was quiet. Everyone was still a little staggered by the enormity of the technological threat to Ninjago, but the initial shock had worn off. For now life continued as usual. Jay was already bent over a circuit board at the breakfast table, brows knit in concentration. Cole wandered his way in, sloshing coffee.

"Morning, dweeb," he yawned.

"Morning, doofus." Jay stuck out his tongue.

"Mornings with you guys are so uplifting," muttered Nya, still slouched on the tabletop with her own coffee mug.

"We try." Jay snuck a glance over at Lloyd and Kai, who were both eating their breakfasts without any kind of fuss or commentary. Nothing had changed between those two. Everyone noticed, including Misako and Sensei Wu.

Sighing, Jay scratched at his palm idly. His tattoo was still itching, although it didn't seem to be developing any serious infection. They'd gone through all that danger and drama to get these tattoos, and now they were stuck with no clue what to do with them. On top of that they had this new technological threat looming, and they weren't quite sure how big it was going to be but they knew it was bad. And they had no clue how to deal with that either. Then on top of _that_ , they still had to worry about Silica spying on them or Nash's crew trying to snipe them whenever they neared the city. On top of all _this_ , regular chores and training. And right at the top of this teetering heap of on-top-of's, they had rebuilding Zane's falcon and finishing their spaceship for the contest and angsting out over why Kai and Lloyd still weren't speaking.

Ninja life. It was enough to put you off your raisin bran.

Everyone stiffened violently when something heavy struck the window.

"They're sniping us!" barked Kai.

"No, dummy!" Jay jumped to his feet. "It's Chorky the Glitter Drone!"

He ran to open the window, and the drone whizzed in. Meep immediately came howling from the hallway, ready to wage infinite warfare. Jay tackled him and held him down until Nya managed to land the drone. Even after the rotors stopped spinning the alien growled resentfully from beneath Jay, glaring at the hovering intruder.

"Let's see if we've got a new note!" Nya popped open the drone's message box. Jay cringed, hoping the doctor wasn't too furious with them for vandalizing his probably-very-expensive drone.

"'Dear ninja,'" Nya read aloud. "'Never fear, I don't mind the "customization," as you call it. Although I have to complain just a little about your choice of materials. There is glitter all over my office.'"

"Whoops." Jay laughed nervously.

"Nice going, artistes," smirked Cole.

"'But on to serious matters,'" continued Nya, and everyone snapped to attention. "'I fear the situation is just as bad as we imagined. There is too much and too sensitive information to send by this fashion, so I have taken the day off so we can meet to speak in private. Just follow the drone to find me.'"

"Hoooo boy," said Jay bleakly. When an overbooked business mogul like Dr. Borg took an unplanned day off, you knew things were hairy.

They set Chorky the Glitter Drone to HOME and piloted the _Bounty_ after it. It must look rather comical, Jay thought: a gigantic flying pirate ship tagging obediently behind a small glittery hovercraft. Meep and Mopp saw nothing funny about the situation, though. They were rage.

After a long while Chorky suddenly started to descend.

"Here?" said Nya, bewildered. "We're miles away from any civilization!"

"But look, down there!" Cole pointed over the _Bounty's_ railing to where Chorky was heading. Down amongst the trees, they spotted a glint of metal and a tiny waving figure.

"How did he get all the way out here?" asked Nya.

They dropped anchor and slid down to join the doctor. He was flushed and somewhat winded, but beaming. He was also wearing what looked like a new model of his old "scorpion" legs, more compact and rugged.

"Wonderful, you found me!" he said. "I thought it might be better to meet all the way out here. With no technology nearby, we won't have to use the EMP generator."

"Much appreciated," said Zane earnestly. He didn't like being left out of the conversation.

"Did you walk all the way out here?" asked Nya.

"More or less, yes. I'd been looking for an excuse to test these new all-terrain legs anyway—they seem to be working splendidly! Ah, it's so nice to be out in nature again." Borg mopped at his forehead with a handkerchief. "If a little strenuous. The legs are largely self-propelled, I made them very low-tech to avoid any more . . . unwelcome takeovers." He gave his usual little nervous laugh.

"Hey, lemme get you a drink," offered Jay, sparking his dragon.

"Bring down that jug of iced tea, we can all have some," called Nya. "Actually, Dr. Borg, did you have lunch?"

"To be honest, no."

A few quick dragon runs back to the _Bounty_ , and soon they were all settled on a blanket, munching sandwiches and leftover potato salad. And discussing how to avert the doom of Ninjago on the side.

"I did some calculations extrapolating the code you showed me," said Dr. Borg. "I found something interesting. As we know, the code grows more powerful as more of it collects. However, in order to do the most severe damage, the Technicians would need to amass a truly enormous cluster of code—far more than could fit in your average phone or even a personal computer."

"But how do we know they'd even _want_ to build a cluster that big?" asked Kai. "Maybe they just want small ones that take over people's devices."

"It's possible, and that would certainly be damaging enough on its own," said Dr. Borg. "But the code you showed me has an awful lot of 'sticky ends.' It certainly has the ability to form clusters of millions, and I imagine they would want to use that capability to its full advantage."

"But where would they put the cluster?" asked Cole. "If it doesn't fit on a computer."

"The next step up—a _network_ of computers," said Borg. "A data warehouse, a cloud storage center. Something like that."

"So . . . basically a giant building full of computers?" Kai looked a little uneasy just at the thought of it. That was an awful lot of things that could blow up if he touched them.

"Exactly. And may I point out, even in today's fairly digital world, buildings of this sort are not exactly commonplace . . . "

"So then, we have a lead!" Nya's eyes lit up. "We have to find the data warehouse where they're going to store their massive code cluster! Once we take that down, the whole project falls apart, right?"

"Well, only the most dangerous part of it. But it's a start," said Borg.

"Woohoo! Then we're halfway home!" cheered Jay. "Let's find that warehouse and blow the roof off!"

"Woah, woah guys, easy!" Cole held up his hands. "Let's not get excited just yet. We're making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe the Technicians don't even have a warehouse yet—maybe they're waiting for their code to get better settled in people's personal devices. And I mean, I know they have some pretty powerful business partners, but enough to buy or rent an entire data warehouse? That must be a lot."

"Yeah," said Kai. "Or maybe they've figured out some crazy totally different way to store their massive . . . code yarnball, thing."

"And even if they do have a data warehouse, finding and identifying it will not be easy," admitted Zane.

"And then if and when we do find it, getting in is gonna be the worst hassle of our _lives._ " Cole folded his arms unhappily. "That would be their most important base, the location they can't afford to lose. Think what kind of security the place must have!"

Jay suddenly broke into an enormous grin.

"I'm scared," said Kai, noticing. "Jay, what're you thinking?"

"About the kind of security they must have." Still grinning like a maniac, Jay pulled off his glove. "You think it might be the kind of security where you need two people and a barcode to get in? . . . "

* * *

They finished lunch in a delirious state of optimistic panic. They had a target now. Sort of. Kind of. Every warehouse or warehouse-like space in Ninjago. Close enough!

To their surprise, Dr. Borg was probably the most excited of all. He animatedly explained what kind of external features they should look for to spot a warehouse that might be full of computers, and promised he would start running a database search of large buildings himself.

"Would it be okay if we used Chorky?" asked Nya.  
"Er—I beg your pardon?"

"Oh." Nya blushed, and Jay fought the urge to cover his eyes. "Uh, the boys named the drone."

"Chorky the Glitter Drone," added Cole unhelpfully. Jay shot him a death glare. There went any hope of Borg ever taking him seriously.

The doctor only laughed, however.

"Apt name. Certainly, you may use it to its full advantage. However, I must warn you that there are multiple airspace restrictions on drones, such as areas near airports. There are many 'no-drone zones' in New Ninjago City, and—er—'Chorky' is programmed to automatically stay out of those areas. There are also many legal complexities to taking aerial photographs, so I'm not sure how much use this little drone will be for spying."

"So that means we have to examine these warehouses in person?" said Kai. "That's a lot of wandering around in the city. Unprotected. Surrounded by security cameras probably working a zombie shift for the Techs."

"True," said Dr. Borg, rubbing his chin. "And if they see you're paying particular attention to warehouses, they will know you're onto them."

"And I can testify that their silencers are very good," said Zane bleakly.

"So . . . what do we do?" asked Jay. "Could we hire someone else to look at warehouses? Maybe send different people every time?"

"No, we need to drag as few people as possible into this," said Cole. "I mean, we're not even telling the government."

"What about the EMP generator?" Nya sat up straighter, excited. "We could use it to temporarily shut down all electrical devices in a small area—I'd have to boost the signal on our current one, of course—but then they wouldn't be able to spy on us!"

"It's a good idea," said Borg. "But I fear it might give you away just as much as hacked security cameras, if not more so. Normally there would be a risk that a Technician happened to be watching a hacked camera and spotted you approaching a warehouse. But in this case, it's quite likely that the Technicians would be monitoring _some_ device in the area of power outage, and would notice the incident. Eventually they would start to notice that all the power outages happened around warehouses."

"Huh. I guess cutting power to the entire city wouldn't be an option, huh?" said Cole.

"That might be a bit excessive."

"What if we obfuscated?" said Zane.

"Come again?"

"As I recall, Kai, you called avoiding the Technicians' surveillance of the city similar to 'Wink Murder.' If I understand correctly, this is a game where all the players must look around at each other, and one player can 'murder' the others by winking at them. The others must try to guess the identity of the murderer."

"Yeahhhhh . . . so?"

"In this game, it is important to the murderer that nobody sees him winking. To avoid making himself obvious, he must make sure to look at many players _without_ winking, correct?"

"That does help. Still not seeing your point, though."

"We could muddy the signal," said Zane. "Instead of only taking down the power when we're on a mission to a warehouse, we could take the power down in random small patches of New Ninjago City. That way, the Technicians would not understand what causes these scattered power outages, and they would be less likely to notice that some of them are by warehouses."

"Excellent! I think you have something there," said Borg. "I have some knowledge of Ninjago's electrical layout, so I could tell you which utility poles to knock down to create small outages. Provided you do not get caught, the news will probably start broadcasting the rise of mysterious electrical vandals, which will throw suspicion off of you nicely."

"Woah. We're gonna be vandals?" said Cole. "Is there, uh, maybe some other option?"

"Well, you could also use a vehicle," said Dr. Borg. "You could outfit it with an EMP generator and make sweeps through the city, temporarily knocking out the power along various streets. Could you outfit the DB Xpress that way?"

"It got run over by a truck," said Nya ruefully.

"Goodness." Dr. Borg blinked.

"Yeahhhh, the Techs have really been kicking our tails," said Kai. "About time we turned that around."

"I'd agree." Borg took himself another helping of potato salad. "Tell you what. Since you can't tell the government what you're doing, I'll help you procure a new vehicle."

There was a chorus of objections.

"We couldn't possibly ask—"

"That's too much Dr. Borg—"

"You have Borg Industries to run—"

"No, no, no." Dr. Borg waved his fork at them. "I have the means, and I plan to use them. If you object that strongly, I can make it a loan instead of a grant."

"Dr. Borg—"

"Shush. Borg Industries is decentralized enough that it doesn't need my full attention. I'm not going to sit on my hands and fuss over new gadget designs when I could be helping Ninjago. Besides." He sobered. "It was my technology and my arrogance that put Ninjago in danger once, and nearly cost you your friend." He nodded slightly towards Zane, who dropped his gaze shyly. "And the technological revolution I helped to bring about is putting Ninjago in danger again. This time, I want to be a stronger force for good. Please, let me help in any way I can."

"We appreciate it more than we can say," said Cole quietly. "But you should know, we're getting into some pretty dangerous stuff here. I mean, really dangerous. The Technicians don't mess around, especially Nash's percent of 'em. Kai's constantly waiting for snipers."

"Not _constantly_ ," huffed Kai.

Dr. Borg was already waving them aside, scoffing.

"I developed a taste for danger after that incident with the over-ambitious screensaver. I'm in."

The ninja exchanged uncertain looks, wondering if they could accept the doctor's generosity and potentially bring him into the same danger they all faced. For the safety of Ninjago, though . . .

"We can't thank you enough," said Nya at last.

"Think nothing of it. Consider it my thanks for this delightful lunch." Dr. Borg squinted up through the trees at the sunlight, smiling. "I haven't had a chance to be out in nature and enjoy the company of bright young minds in far too long. A picnic is just what I needed."

With the discussion finished, they started to pack up the blanket and dishes and leftover food.

"We can give you a ride back to the city, Dr. Borg," offered Nya.

"Much appreciated." The doctor stood and stretched his mechanical legs, one at a time. "To be honest I don't think I could make it all the way back."

Repositioning the legs carefully, he bent to help pick up some of the dishes. Jay stepped over and held out a box for him to put them in. The lightning ninja shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, looking for something to say.

"Thanks so much for all your help, Dr. Borg," he ventured at last.

"Think nothing of it, my boy," said Borg. He leaned over to Jay conspiratorially. "To tell you the truth, I'm rather enjoying this excitement. You remember, I once told you with a name like mine my career in technology was predetermined? Well, when I was a boy, rotting my brains out over countless engineering textbooks so I could be an inventor, I used to dream that I'd grow up to have adventures instead. Be a superhero, or—heh—even a ninja. This is quite the dream come true for me!"

"Did you really dream of that?" Jay laughed shyly. "I've had a lot of adventures, but I've . . . always dreamed of being an inventor."

"Well, Fate's dealt us both a rather appealing hand this time, hasn't it?" said Borg, clapping him on the shoulder. "I get to have my adventures, and you get to put your inventing skills to good use. I'm sure you do your team a great service."

"Awww, I d-dunno," stammered Jay, blushing. He felt like he was going to burst into fireworks any minute now. What kind of a day even _was_ this? Not only did he get to chat and work closely with his biggest hero, they outright had a picnic lunch together and shared their childhood dreams and stuff. Him and _the_ Dr. Borg. What was his life?!

* * *

The aliens were deeply offended to see that the ninja were bringing Chorky onto the ship again. They were not quiet about it.

"Oh my." Dr. Borg took a step back as Meep whizzed by, howling. "What's this?"

"They, uh, don't like Chorky a lot." Jay blushed, holding Meep back before he could rip the drone's rotors off. "It's—n-nothing personal, I'm sure . . . uh . . . "

"No, I'm glad to know this." Dr. Borg chuckled. "I'll have to keep it in mind before I release the drone to the broader public. 'Tested very negatively with alien focus group.'" He reached down to pick up Mopp, who had turned his attention from the drone to the doctor. "Hello, little friend. How's the leg?"

"It's doing pretty good," said Jay, as Mopp cooed and leaned into Borg's petting. "It's not growing back or anything, but it's closed off and healed. He pretty much doesn't need the bandage anymore."

Meep, seeing that Mopp was getting attention, broke off from telling Jay how the presence of this drone amounted to betrayal most foul. He went over to Borg instead and bumped against his shoulder, coaxing for his own share of love.

"I think they remember me," said Borg, impressed.

"Oh yeah, they have the best memory," said Jay. "And they're really intuitive. They can tell when someone is sad, and they do this purring thing that can calm you down in no time. And they understand English amazingly, and I swear they're learning to speak it too, and—"

"Jayyyyy, Jay." Kai nudged him and gave Dr. Borg an apologetic smile. "You don't want to get him started on the aliens, sir."

"They're his official kids," agreed Cole. "He will not ever stop."

"No, that's all right," said Borg. "This is alien life, for mercy's sake. I want to hear as much as I possibly can." He turned to Jay. "Pray continue. If you don't mind, that is?"

Jay could physically feel himself grow an inch or two taller. He saw Kai and Cole leaving from the corner of his eye, and he was pretty sure he heard Cole whisper "I swear he has _literal_ stars in his eyes!", but he paid them absolutely no mind.

The aliens were happy to stay with Borg for the entire trip back to the city, which Jay thought was the most obvious sign of intelligence the critters had shown yet. He talked almost non-stop, telling Dr. Borg all the smart and funny things they did, and although he was constantly aware that he really _did_ sound like a proud father, he didn't care. Dr. Borg didn't once lose interest. He asked lots of questions and petted the aliens as much as they wanted and shook Jay's hand as he left. Clearly the best guy in all of the universe. Clearly.

After they had dropped Dr. Borg off, Jay immediately turned and gave the others a ferocious look, daring them to make any smart comments. They didn't look too intimidated.

"Let me guess, you're gonna be ranting all night about Dr. Borg?" grinned Cole. A few of the others muffled chuckles.

"Hmph. Nope!" Jay folded his arms. "I'm totally cool. Chill and hip. Relaxed as it gets."

"Ohhhh, so hobnobbing with famous technology moguls is getting to be old news now, huh?" Kai pretended to yawn. "Such a bore."

"Oh, laugh all you want." Jay waved them all off. "Sure he's really smart, but he's a human being like the rest of us. He's just a very personable guy."

It was only later that Nya got the full earful in private. They were supposed to be having one of their fanfiction sessions, but instead Jay was bubbling on at three words per second about Borg. Nya listened patiently, amused. She found it cute when Jay got excited over stuff, and besides, it distracted him from that new chapter on one of Aura Seafoam's stories that he kept wanting to read to her.

* * *

 **Capslock** : Hey, update. Just picked out another half-dozen crewmembers for tattoo codes. It's a little excessive, because we're not gonna need that many workers until the katamari goes live, but we can't exactly tattoo them all the morning of the go-live. We need 'em ready in advance. For now I'm sending them on rotating shifts through Base Prime so they can get used to the layout.

 **Silica:** Awesome. Thanks.

 **Capslock:** News on your end?

 **Silica:** Nope, none. Last of the code is written and plugged. Computers for the katamari starting to arrive. Home life sucks as usual, but you don't wanna hear about that.

 **Capslock:** And the ninja?

 **Silica:** Oh, I don't like that part of it. It's quiet.

 **Silica:** Too quiet.

 **Capslock:** Meh. You know what, I think we misjudged on that hostage situation.

 **Capslock:** As long as we were holding the Nindroid's brain hostage, they were going to keep fighting to get it back. But now that they've got it safe, I bet they're thinking twice about putting themselves in danger again. We've scared them off after all.

 **Silica:** You're an optimistic guy, Cappie.

 **Capslock:** It's a living. Cheer up, we're heading for the home stretch.

 **Silica:** Don't jinx it Cap, don't jinx it...

 **Bluescreen:** Hey, what's this I hear about new tattoo codes? Cap, if you picked all my best international agents for that shtick again, I'll shank you.

 **Capslock:** Oh, zip it. Four of them were from Silica's crew, not yours, and I made sure the other two weren't due to peddle your stupid drugs in Metalonia or whatever. Happy?

 **Bluescreen:** No. I also need a replacement. I have this one guy whining all the time that he's supposed to get his tattoo but he can't because his partner's dead.

 **Capslock:** Oh for #$%'s sake, did you kill ANOTHER tattooed guy? Can you just NOT? That's like the third time I've had to find a new partner for someone.

 **Bluescreen:** I can just kill off the other half of the pair. That'd solve the problem too.

 **Capslock:** Sicko. Fine, whatever, I'll pick out a replacement. What's the other guy's code?

 **Bluescreen:** Damned if I know, you ask him. I'll send him your way.

 **Capslock:** Don't send him to my house dammit, I've got my girlfriend over!

 **Bluescreen:** Ech. If she sees too much, there's ways to deal with that too.

 **Capslock:** Shut the #$% up, and stay THE #$% away from her. She's not involved in this.

 **Bluescreen:** And if you want her safe it better stay that way.


	77. This is Fine

**TheAmberShadow: Goodness! Lots of cousins.  
It's one of the perks of the job. Or was it pitfalls? :P  
Borg is really fun, there's no denying. ^_^  
Nope, Mopp is still ground-bound, poor little fella.  
Well, only if half of Ninjago City tries to get in his way. As long as they keep their distance they're fine. :P  
Oh my. I'd better remember not to do any comics about punching, then. ;) Heh, cool!**

 **Fire Oreo: Heh, I like the term "midnight and a half." Thanks!  
Chorky annoys them on a whole bunch of levels. :P  
Yeah, Mopp's probably never gonna fly again. He is pretty happy though, as long as he's got Jay to carry him in his hoodie, or at least Meep to help pull him around a little. And not being able to whiz around as much has made him learn more!  
It's only a matter of time**— **CapsLock is about to replace Eycho, who was one of the 854 tattoo pair.  
Man, it's gonna be a fun time once I do reveal Silica. :3**

 **Kendra: Heh, I'll pass it on to Dr. Borg. ;)  
Oooooh, what would be his Marvel superhero name? Or would he be a supervillain?  
I had not thought of that! You know, it's probably not likely. There are so many possible barcodes out there, it would have to be a wild coincidence for any of the Technician tattoos to match any grocery-store item at all. But Jay can dream. :)**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Jay's cute when he's all hero-worshippy. ^_^'' Thanks for the review!**

 **Zaptrap: No worries! Thanks for the review now. ^_^**

 **Jens: Thanks! Well, vandalism is purposely damaging somebody else's property. Breaking windows, slashing car tires, smashing lawn ornaments, graffiti, stuff like that. It was named after a barbarian tribe called the Vandals, who apparently smashed things more than your average barbarian tribe. :P  
Awww. Well, don't lose that excitement! The world needs more of it. ^_^  
Even if it actually _exploded_ , Kai would probably be okay, being the Master of Fire and stuff. He'd probably prefer the explosion, it would look cooler. And thus make the others even more jealous. XD  
These guys are always popping into each other's conversations. Depends who's online when!**

 **monranr: Whooooooooooo somebody caught the reference! I'm happy now. :3  
Hehe, thank you!**

* * *

 **Oct 2**

 **7:44 AM**

 **Status conditions: Jay, Lloyd lightly wounded, Zane in minor disrepair**

* * *

First thing in the morning, Nya and Zane went out to the city, hoping to get Zane fancied up a little and track down a car. The others took the _Bounty_ on a country patrol loop, although Kai had been flamingly nervous about leaving those two alone in a city crawling with Technicians. He made them promise to call in every hour, and Nya, despite all her eye-rolling, obliged.

Meanwhile the others did their best to train. It went uneventfully until they tried to switch sparring partners and Lloyd got paired with Kai. They both stepped back and stood still.

"Really, you guys?" Cole rolled his eyes. "Come on, this has gone on long enough. I bet you can't even remember what you were angry about!"

"No, we do," said Lloyd evenly. "He's mad because I went into the Slither Pit."

"Yeah. And he's mad because I pulled him out of the Slither Pit and yelled at him," said Kai.

"And also Hombrito's," said Lloyd.

"Right, that." Kai tipped his hand as if he'd just been corrected on today's date.

"You two need to calm down," said Sensei Wu. "You both know the complexity and danger of the task facing us. We cannot afford cracks in the team's unity."

"Oh, it won't affect our performance, Sensei," said Kai at once.

"Nothing's changed," agreed Lloyd.

"The team's gonna function just as well as before."

"We're just not going to speak while we're doing it."

Sensei Wu's beard lengthened a bit with displeasure. He gave Kai and Lloyd a long, hard look. They looked back innocently, their expressions free of rancor.

Just then the phone rang.

"Oh, that's Nya! 'scuse me!" Kai bolted from the room without waiting for permission. Lloyd gave his uncle a respectful nod and began training on the equipment, alone.

Cole and Jay discussed the situation in low tones over lunch.

"These two take 'agree to disagree' to a whole new level," said Jay. "You think we should try an intervention?"

"I think we should," said Cole, frowning at the plate of leftovers he was eating. "Sensei Wu's right. We can't have the team fractured when things are this tense. What if they refuse to work together on maneuvers or don't save each other from danger?"

"I mean, I think they would still save each other," said Jay. "We did. But heck, it's just getting really old having them sulking around all the time. I know Zane's pretty unhappy about it. Heck, even the aliens are getting stressed."

Mopp gave a world-weary _choooooooo_ of agreement, slouched on the tabletop.

"Well, if anyone would know about long arguments, it's us," said Cole wryly. "What do you think would have gotten us to shut up, back then?"

"I dunno. Probably nothing. Lloyd tried to get us to stop, remember? And his dad. And even Kai. Nothing stuck."

"Yeah . . . " Cole scratched between Mopp's eyes thoughtfully. "In the TV shows people always make up if they go through danger together, but that didn't work for us."

"Nope. What if we forced them to talk it out?"

"Nah. Forced apologies never ended well."

"Okayyy, what if we talked to them separately? Or got Zane to talk to them? Lloyd's all determined to be his big brother, I doubt he could hold up if he knew he was making Zane depressed."

"You'd be surprised." Cole shook his head woefully. "Zane's already talked to Lloyd, and Lloyd pretty much just blew him off."

"That kid's been getting weird lately."

"I know. So . . . what if we got them to forget they were mad somehow? Engineered some kinda mayhem?"

"Ooooh, I could go for some mayhem." Jay leaned on his elbows, interested. "Whatcha got in mind?"

"Whatever it is, I'd reconsider."

Jay and Cole both jumped, whirling to the door. Kai was leaning one elbow against the doorframe.

"Nya called," he said. "She wants to give us some instructions before we meet her to see the new car."

He gave them a knowing look and disappeared. Jay and Cole looked at each other and groaned.

* * *

Nya said the car would need some serious overhauling before they could use it for EMP generation. They needed to get a head start on the localized power outages, though, so Nya sent them on a quick detour. They found themselves about a mile from the edge of New Ninjago City.

"All clear!" shouted Lloyd from the top of a utility pole. "If I see someone, you get about five seconds' warning!"

The others wasted no time. Jay took a running start and jumped at Cole, who boosted him up into the air. Jay reached and just barely managed to snatch the lower electrical wire strung between utility poles. The cable creaked and pulled tight as the blue ninja swung on it. His palms tingled from the voltage.

"Slice 'er up!" he called down to Kai. The red ninja sent a pair of sai spinning up at the cable. Tightened as it was by Jay's weight, it sliced cleanly. Blue sparks showered through the air as Jay dropped to the ground.

"Nice! That's two streets down for a couple of hours."

"Car's coming!" yelped Lloyd from his perch.

"ACK!"

Jay dove amidst the fountains of sparks to snatch Kai's sais—they couldn't afford to leave that kind of evidence lying around. Then everyone tore full-speed for a nearby stand of rock formations so they could hide. They'd walked all the way out here to avoid drawing attention with their big flashy dragons, and they weren't about to blow their cover _now._

"Hooo!" Cole swiped at his forehead once they'd gotten to a safe distance. "Well hurray, we're vandals now."

"See Lloyd, this is why you become a ninja," grinned Jay. "If you become a villain you hafta work hard on your plots and you have no friends and you constantly have us annoying good guys trying to stop you from wrecking things. But if you're a ninja, you get to vandalize stuff all the time and everyone says you're a great guy!"

"For Pete's sake Jay, don't give him ideas." Cole laughed. Lloyd only gave a lopsided smile, saying nothing.

They walked out to the appointed parking garage. They would have been in high spirits, only Kai was being a downer, constantly glancing over his shoulder with a tense expression.

"Come on, Kai, it's broad daylight!" said Cole. "And we're in the middle of Fourth Avenue, in civvies. Nobody's gonna snipe us now."

"You'd be surprised." Kai glanced warily at a doorway. "I'll be glad when we have this car and we can travel through the city fast and hidden."

"I wonder what kind of car it's gonna be," said Jay. "I hope it's at least a little cool."

"What you need is a minivan," said Cole. "It'd complete the dad look."

"Oh, shush, you."

They reached the garage. As they approached, a silvery form slid over the railing on the second level and dropped down to meet them.

"Woah-ho, Zane! Looking good!" Jay examined the Nindroid's new plating. "Not as shiny as I'd hoped, though."

"We didn't want to make a scene." Nya leaned over the second-story railing, waving. "Apparently the buffing machine tickles, and he didn't want me shutting off sensation to his panels in front of random mechanics. We can polish him up at home."

"Yeahhhhh, I reckon we can . . . "

Zane caught the look Jay was giving him and sighed.

"I sense I have miscalculated."

"So where's the car, sis?" Kai called up.

"On the fifth floor. The garage was fuller earlier today, we had to park all the way up there. Besides, it's safer."

The ninja started to clamber up the outside of the garage, not feeling like finding the stairwell inside.

"Is it cool?" called Jay. "Please say it's at least a little cool!"

"Ahhhh, sorry." Nya sighed, keeping pace with the ninja as they climbed. "I wasn't about to say anything, because how rude would that be, but Dr. Borg is at least a decade behind inflation. The loan was pretty small. I had to get a used car, and it's . . . pretty crummy."

"Oh noooooo." Kai groaned. "Sis . . . "

"Come on, don't tell me you'd go to Dr. Borg and ask for more money." Nya clambered ahead. Jay hung his head a little, disappointed. Just his luck, they were probably stuck with a rusty old sedan with a missing bumper and mismatched doors. Or FSM forbid, an actual minivan.

They hopped over the railing, into the strained yellowish light of the parking garage interior. The level was empty, except for a single car parked off in one corner. Jay's heartbeat sped up a little, but then he realized that must not be it; it was a beautiful low-slung silvery sports car.

"So . . . where's the car?" Kai was looking around too. "Don't tell me someone stole it."

"Nope." Nya sighed again. "That one over there is ours."

The ninja surveyed the sports car.

"This is a joke, right?" said Cole at last.

"I know, I know." Nya pushed back her hair. "It was cheap for a reason. I'm gonna have to completely redo what's under the hood, and I'm sure a ton of other things need fixing or replacing, but it's the best we could aff—"

"Are you _kidding?_ This is amazing!"

Nya watched, bemused, as the others circled around the car excitedly.

"I mean, you'd never hear me saying I don't appreciate a cool car," she said at last. "But that is _not_ a cool car."

"It's a 1993 Basilisk, for crying out loud!"

"So? It doesn't do anything special, it barely succeeds at being a car, and it's definitely _not_ a comfortable ride." Nya folded her arms, raising her eyes heavenwards. "Men and their status symbols!"

* * *

They got to work on outfitting the car right away. Nya and Jay overhauled the engine block and tried to figure out how to stop the oil from leaking, while the others worked on ripping out the backseats and trunk divider.

"So we're just gonna have a giant empty space in the back?" said Kai, poking his head out the window.

"Sort of. I need the floor free so I can hook the EMP generator to the rear axle. If we need to carry more than one passenger, they'll have to ride without seatbelts." Nya pulled herself from beneath the car, wiping oil from her forehead. "Just another reason this orange crate sucks."

"It does _not_." Kai patted the car's side reverently. "She's gorgeous."

"And incontinent," muttered Nya, grabbing a wrench and sticking her head under the hood.

"Gosh Nya. The last time you were this set against someone, I had to stop reading _Donnegan on Planet Zeebo_ in the middle of a chapter," said Jay. "I thought you saved this kind of hate for fanfictions."

"There's enough hate in my heart for both of them," said Nya from beneath the hood. "Look at this turkey. The dashboard is scratched. The battery dies at the first excuse. She's so old that the radio has one of those anti-theft systems, and when she last broke down it activated and now the radio doesn't work. The automatic windows also don't work. The AC smells like something died in it. Something probably _did._ The only good thing about all this is that she's so old that absolutely nothing inside her involves a computer. The Techs can't touch her. Otherwise, she's a creaking hulk."

"But she's still gorgeous," said Kai. Nya pulled her head from underneath the hood long enough to stick out her tongue.

* * *

They worked late into the night, then stopped on the way home to disconnect a transformer.

"Once we get the car working, I'm thinking we should operate more by night," said Nya. "During the day we're probably disrupting business hours and stuff."

"We're the worst," sighed Cole.

They were heading for the city park, where there would be enough room to spark their dragons. Kai was peering every which way with his usual suspicion, now multiplied by the fact that the streets were dark and fairly empty.

"Let's move fast," he said tersely. "Come on."

His nerves rubbed off onto everyone else a little. The others grew quieter and started paying more attention to their surroundings.

Just as they called up their dragons, Zane's head shot up, his eyes widening. Jay thought he heard something too: over the swish of elemental energy and the grumbling of dragons, a soft _k'chack!_

A second after they took off, Jay felt something whiz by his ear. His heartbeat seized up, and his dragon flashed beneath him, almost disappearing. Before he could shout a warning, Zane suddenly cried out in pain. His dragon vanished, sending him crashing down to the grass below.

"Zane!" Everyone whirled their dragons around. Seconds later Lloyd's dragon gave a strangled scream and vanished too.

"They're firing at us!" barked Kai. "Get them!"

The park transformed into a welter of flailing wings and whirling colored light. Dragons screamed, dimming with fear or blazing up with adrenaline. Cole and Jay dove to rescue the two fallen ninja, while Kai nosedived towards the bushes nearby, wings flaring.

"Get on, get on!" Jay struggled to keep his dragon solid as he reached for Zane's hands. The Nindroid looked dazed and terrified, but he had just enough presence of mind to reach in return and snatch Jay and Nya's hands. They swung him up onto the dragon.

Kai's dragon was rearing and pitching, its glowing head thrashing back and forth, a dark form clutched between its teeth. Finally it tossed the struggling man back into the bushes and leaped in after him, scrabbling furiously among the leaves, searching for any more snipers. It was probably rather uncomfortable for Kai having all these twigs scratching at his soul, but he didn't seem to be paying much attention.

Meanwhile Jay pulled desperately on his dragon's reins, struggling to hold it together.

"I can't hold all three of us!" he gasped.

"Kai!" shouted Nya. "Hey KAI!"

The red dragon's head finally shot up, at the same instant Kai's did. He wavered for a moment, then wheeled around and flew over to Jay.

"I've got him stunned, let's go!" he shouted.

"On it!" Nya slid off Jay's dragon and landed on Kai's below. Steadying his own mount, Jay focused on gaining altitude as fast as possible, clutching onto Zane's half-conscious form. The dragon rocked steadily up and down beneath them, each beat of its wings pumping them a notch higher.

"Get going before more of them show up!" Kai's dragon bolted past in a trail of red mist. Slapping the reins, Jay shot after him.

They didn't slow down till they were far over the Badlands, skimming over dark, empty desert. Jay adjusted his grip on Zane, who was silent but shaking.

"Easy, buddy," he murmured. "We're almost home."

Zane nodded mutely. Jay held on a little tighter.

* * *

They reached the _Bounty_ without further incident, although it took a little searching—it had been drifting ever since they left it.

"What happened?" asked Misako at once, seeing there were only three dragons.

"Ambush," said Kai, landing. "I don't think we have any direct injuries, but Zane and Lloyd's dragons got hit."

Jay glanced up, a little heartened. It had gotten to the point that just hearing Kai say Lloyd's name that casually was a good sign.

Could have wished for better circumstances, though.

"Let's look at you guys." Cole was already steadying Lloyd, looking into his eyes. "Are you okay? Where were you hit?"

"Just grazed the wing." Lloyd pried him off, smiling wanly. "I mostly just panicked like a dweeb."

"I was shot through the foot," said Zane. "My dragon's foot, that is."

Neither Zane nor Lloyd could spark their dragons at the moment. Everyone was tired and shaken and anxious; Zane hadn't cooked dinner since he'd been out all day, so they heated up some frozen pizzas and French fries and had that. They really should have all gone to bed, but instead they stayed up playing outdated trivia. Zane was good at trivia, so he was soon looking a lot calmer. Lloyd had gone back to normal almost the minute he got inside.

"We should check over your dragons before bed," said Cole at last. "Hey Lloyd, where ya going?"

"I'm sleepy," said Lloyd, smiling apologetically. "And it was just a nick anyway, it healed in no time. I feel fine."

"You sure?"

"Sure." Lloyd was already heading for the bunkroom.

"Ah, ah! Kiddo." Cole tapped him on the shoulder.

"What?" Lloyd half-turned warily. He was just in time for Cole to haul him into a quick, rough hug.

"Aw Cole, I'm fiiiiiiine."

"Just in case." Cole let go and shoved him gently. "Fine then, get going. Fishy dreams."

"You too." Lloyd rolled his eyes good-naturedly as he left. Kai was rolling his eyes rather less good-naturedly, which Jay thought was a bit excessive. The kid had nearly been shot.

Zane's dragon had made a full recovery, aside from a few patchy scales where the wound had been. The beast knocked its head boisterously against Cole as he tried to examine its leg.

"Yeah, you're fine," said Cole, chuckling. "You got lucky there, Frosty. Wouldn't want to mess up that nice new plating before you even wore it for twenty-four hours."

"Maybe I could get some new plating pre-polished," said Zane drily, glancing towards Jay. The blue ninja scoffed.

"Aw geez, let me have my fun."

* * *

Jay awoke from a nightmare, panting and rigid. He stared at the dark ceiling for a moment, then relaxed. Nobody was attacking him. Nobody was dead. Meep half-woke and squirmed under his arm.

"You up?" whispered a voice. Jay rolled over and hung his head over the edge of the bunk. Cole waved from below.

"You too, huh?"

"Mmm." Jay pushed Meep aside a little, getting himself more comfortable. His head snapped up, however, when he heard a low murmur from nearby.

"Whassat?" Cole yawned.

It seemed to be Lloyd. He was fidgeting in his sleep and making garbled, unintelligible noises.

"What's going on? Is he okay?" Cole woke up more fully. "That doesn't sound right."

Lloyd began to talk more loudly. He was speaking at a normal daytime volume by now, but the words still had a strange slurred quality, like he was talking with a bunch of marbles in his mouth. Jay felt the hair rising on the back of his neck. There was something really really creepy about what he was hearing. Meep whimpered by his ear.

"What is he _doing?_ " Cole pushed himself up. "What the heck is he saying?"

"I-I dunno."

"I think I better wake him up." Cole swung his legs off his bunk.

"No, wait!" Jay reached down to hold him back. He had suddenly realized why this panicked feeling was so familiar. "I've heard him do this before! He gets really violent if you try to wake him!"

"What?" Cole blinked, then looked back to Lloyd and shuddered. "I don't care, I'm waking him. This is giving me the creeps."

"Noooo, wait!"

Lloyd's voice had risen a little above normal by now, and he sounded desperate. Finally his pitch shifted like he was ending a sentence. His breath became fast and shallow, as if he was waiting tensely. Then he jolted and sat upright with a strangled yelp.

Jay and Cole immediately threw themselves back down, hoping Lloyd hadn't seen them. Jay peered over with one eye, his skin still crawling. Lloyd's eyes were wide and panicked in the dark, his breath ragged and gulping.

Lloyd didn't seem aware that the others were awake. He panted for a moment, raking his hands through his hair. He brought one hand up to his mouth and tugged, and something popped out with an unpleasant click. Jay was seized by terror. Did the kid just _freaking pull out his own teeth_ —

After a moment though, he realized it must be something else. Lloyd was drying it off on his pajama shirt, and then he slipped it into a little box. No wonder his speech had been garbled. But why was he keeping something in his mouth at night?

Lloyd gave a shaky sigh as he stuffed the box under his mattress. After a moment his gaze flicked across the room. Jay cringed, expecting Lloyd to notice that he and Cole were awake—but Lloyd was specifically looking at Kai. He sat quietly for a moment, as if searching or waiting for something. Or trying to make up his mind.

After a long moment, he gave another sigh. Rolling out of bed, he trudged out of the room, rubbing one eye. The door clicked open and shut behind him.

"What was all _that?_ " whispered Cole at last.

"I don't know! It was totally freaky!"

Cole slipped out of bed, went over to Lloyd's mattress, and fished out the little box. Jay craned his neck over from his bunk to see.

"It's . . . just some kind of plastic thing," said Cole. "I don't get it."

"Think we should ask him about this?" asked Jay.

"Yeah." Cole put the box back. "Tomorrow. In private."

"Why not now?"

"He's probably still shook-up," said Cole. "And I don't think he'd be too happy to know we heard that."

"Oh." Jay subsided. "We need to think of some . . . cunning way to break it."

"Exactly."

Jay shook out a final shudder and lay back down. If he was going to get any more sleep tonight, he'd better find something extremely relaxing to think about.


	78. Civil War

**Could they even have Captain America in Ninjago, tho** —

 **By the way, by the way! The inspiration for the car's sound effects is the glorious Fisker Karma, a car that makes spaceship noises to compensate for its dangerously quiet motor. There's links on my profile if you wanna hear. I'm tellin' you about this now, because at the end of the chapter I'm not sure who's gonna be interested.**

 **Also the chapter buffer is like nonexistent now because there are so many things I still have to fix in the next few chapters ahhhhhhh** —

* * *

 **Jens: The kid is a mess. He'd probably say he's fine, though. He's always fine. EVERYTHING IS FINE. *stuffs traumas under the bed*  
I do like older cars myself. ^_^''  
** **The spot is related to the curse! And Lloyd's other issues. It's basically the soul-dragon version of scale rot. As to whether it's healing, gosh, don't ask me! I'm not forthcoming. :P  
Lucky Cole is still in charge, or the poor kiddo would have even more on his mind. I'll refer him to your care, Dr. Jens. ;)  
Great! ^_^ Thanks for the review.**

 **Fire Oreo: They're a sulky bunch! Kai is too proud to be the first to apologize, and he feels he was in the right because _why_ the heck would Lloyd go into a Slither Pit? That's objectively crazy. And Lloyd is just . . . well, nobody knows what _his_ deal is.  
It kind of still is vandalism**— **they're still destroying other people's stuff without permission. But at least their motivations are pure. ^_^''  
Getting shot in the soul is basically emotional pain. Depending on where and how your dragon gets hurt, it can feel like losing a game, getting a bad grade, being insulted, getting in a fight with a friend, losing a loved one**— **basically anything that makes you sad or shaken. That's why doing something pleasant or getting love from others helps a soul dragon heal. ^_^  
Nah, he could have summoned his dragon. That was actually kind of the problem . . .  
It doesn't help that he's mumbling the spell to open the Cursed Realm. Nasty dark magic. Not pleasant to listen to.  
Mumbling about cakes, though**— **that I can get behind. I'm sure Cole approves too. XD  
**

 **TheAmberShadow: Noted! I'll keep that in mind if I ever need someone punched in a comic. XD  
Ah, if Kai hadn't interrupted, they'd probably have decided to start a food fight during dinner and see if that didn't snap them out of grouch mode.  
Everyone's agreeing with Nya! I guess I should have expected that, since most fanfiction readers are girls. ^_^'' **

**Kendra: It would definitely have "fire" in it! Or should I say, "fi-yaaaaaaa." :P I do like Nightfire!  
Awww. I hope that's not your own drawings. ^_^''  
Thanks for the review! **

**Anonymous7: Heh, thanks for the review! Believe me, I'm forgetting parts of my own story by now. XD  
Oh yeah, that day was the high point of Jay's week.  
It's Ninjago. Gotta have them vehicles! :P  
Well, depends on who you ask. If you ask Lloyd, he's fit as a fiddle . . .**

 **Zaptrap: Thanks for the review! Heh, "this is fine" literally, or "this is fine" like the meme? ^_^''  
Yep, aggressive Lloydfish. His natural savagery is surfacing. :P  
Nuuuuu, don't shoot the poor Jay-bean's dragon! D:  
Well, we'll see who has the spotlight by the end of this chapter. ;)  
** **I know, right? Freaking J'avi!**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine~ ]:3 Mmmm, fruit-flavored ninja! Kai's definitely strawberry, but I hope Nya's not cherry. FSM preserve us all from artificial cherry flavoring. :P  
Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Oct 3**

 **7:30 AM**

 **Status conditions: Jay lightly wounded**

* * *

 **BlueScreen:** Hey, I'm gonna need another recruit for the 404 tattoo pair.

 **CapsLock:** ARE

 **CapsLock:** YOU

 **CapsLock:** SERIOUS

 **CapsLock:** How many of your crew members do you even KILL?

 **Bluescreen:** He's not one of mine, idiot. He's one of yours. He was on patrol and spotted the ninja, decided to snipe at them, but the #$%ing idiot didn't even kill one. He's got to go.

 **CapsLock:** You have NO authority to discipline Technicians not from your own crew! Let alone kill them!

 **BlueScreen:** Which is why I'm being nice and giving you advance notice. Now you've got eh, maybe a couple days to find a new tattoo candidate before I root the little swine out of hiding.

 **CapsLock:** Leave him alone, and that is a freaking order.

 **BlueScreen:** No.

 **CapsLock:** I swear, when all of this is over . . .

 **Silica (private):** Pssst, Cap. Who's the guy with Nash after him?

 **CapsLock (private):** 404 pair is either Mack Kearling or a snake called Veronica. I guess it'd be Mack.

 **Silica (private):** Okay. If you know any ways to keep the idiot safe, do it.

 **Capslock (private):** On it. Honestly I don't even know where Mack is right now, he must be in hiding. But if I find him I'll help squirrel him away somehow.

 **Silica (private):** Great. I'll reach out with my feelers too. The best hiding places are often the ones that have security cameras guarding them. Gimme a description in case I spot him.

 **CapsLock (private):** I'll pull it up. Heh. We rig Ninjago with an illegal spy network, and the first thing we do with it is try to protect people. From one of our own commanders.

 **Silica (private):** Yep. Just one big, happy, totally functional family. That's us. Blergh.

 **Silica (private):** Huh. The power in the East End is down. Weird.

* * *

Lloyd was at breakfast before either of them that morning. Jay wondered if he'd even gone back to bed last night. As he'd been lying awake he'd gotten the idea to ask Misako if she knew about any sleeptalking habits of Lloyd's, but it turned out she'd left last evening to a distant library, looking for scrolls about aliens and ancient languages. There was no cell service there, they wouldn't be able to reach her. They didn't get any chances to talk to Lloyd during the morning either—everyone wanted to get right back to work on their car.

After last night's scare they were all jumpy. Instead of walking to the parking garage, they eased the _Bounty_ farther into the city than they normally took it and hovered right over the garage. Jay and Kai went out on a quick power-outage run, knocking out a few fishing shacks by the city's dockside.

"I wish we had somewhere else to knock the power out," grumbled Kai. "There are warehouses right nearby, we'll be taking down the power around here again pretty soon."

"You think we could go check the warehouses now?" asked Jay.

"Nah. This outage doesn't reach them, and they're bound to have a lot of security cameras around." Kai sighed. "Soon."

Jay flexed his palm, feeling the tattoo still itching faintly beneath his glove. Somewhere around here, maybe, possibly, there was a warehouse whose doors would open for him and Kai.

Honestly he didn't know how Kai managed to be so patient.

By afternoon they had finished up the car. The back was indeed a giant empty space, with a metal case about the size of a microwave in the center. Inside was the EMP generator, hooked to the rear axle.

"All we're missing is the 1.21 gigawatts," said Jay, perching on the car's spoiler and swinging his legs. "The speed of the generator's rotation depends on the speed of the car. It won't rotate fast enough to create EMPs unless the car is going pretty fast—which is good, because we don't want this baby to knock out the power _every_ time we drive it."

"How fast do you hafta go to get the EMPs?" asked Cole.

"No idea." Jay popped open the trunk and hopped in. "Time to test it out."

"Who gets to drive?" asked Kai eagerly.

"Count me out." Nya scoffed. "Zane too. He'd pass out once the car hit the right speed. Kinnnnnda don't want that happening behind the wheel."

"You mean I will never be able to drive it?" Zane looked disappointed.

"You can if you stay below the critical speed," said Cole, patting his shoulder. "You can't use it for business, but you can still take it for joyrides if you want."

"I'm all up for joyrides," grinned Kai. "We're gonna turn a lot of heads."

"Boys," muttered Nya.

The rest of them played rock-paper-clamp. Kai beat Cole, Lloyd Jay. The two winners turned to each other and immediately glared.

"Come onnnnn, you guys," groaned Cole.

Kai and Lloyd showed no signs of coming on. After a moment Nya gave an irritated huff.

"If you're going to be like that, Jay can drive."

"Awww, yeah!"

"Hey, no fair!" Kai looked up indignantly.

"You snooze, you lose," said Nya, tossing the keys to Jay.

"Not cool, sis." Kai glared. Lloyd only shook his head and turned away angrily.

"Here we go," sang Jay. He swung into the driver's seat, getting used to the strange shape. The seats were very low and tilted back, so your knees were higher than your waist and your legs were practically stretched out in front of you. It made getting in and out a little weird, but it was definitely very sports-car-y. Jay wasn't complaining. He turned the key, and the car's engine coughed and hacked for a second. Finally it staggered to life.

"Smooth," deadpanned Nya. "Purrs like a cat."

"Oh, come on." Jay carefully put the car in reverse and backed it up. As soon as it started to move it gave a long, deep _vwooooOOOOOOOOOoooo_ sound. The pitch rose slowly, then peaked and slid back down, tapering off. When Jay stopped backing up the car, the noise stopped. When he started to carefully drive forward in a broad circle, the noise started up again. It sounded kind of like someone running a _very_ obnoxious vacuum cleaner up and down a hall.

"What is that?" asked Cole. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope. That's the EMP generator," said Nya.

"You mean it's going to make that noise every time we drive it? There's no way to disconnect it?"

"Nope."

"Boy." Cole laughed wryly. "I hope none of those Technicians are car experts, because I don't think that's a noise any normal car makes. Even when it's malfunctioning."

"Just another reason it's a dumb box of bolts," grumbled Nya. "Let's just hope it does the one thing it's supposed to."

* * *

They went out into the desert, tailed by the _Bounty_. Cole got shotgun, and Kai and Zane rode in the back. Nya balanced on the ship's railing holding a radar gun, Lloyd slouched beside her. The aliens were locked in the spare room, just in case.

"Road clear?" called Jay over the walkie-talkie Nya had fastened to the dashboard.

"Clear for miles in either direction," Nya's voice rustled back. "Get a feel for what speed it takes to make Zane pass out, then try to hit that speed while you're near the _Bounty_. I'll get a precise read on it."

"Ten-four." Jay licked his lips, excited. He was beyond chuffed to be the first to drive this thing for real. He just hoped it worked.

As Jay eased a foot onto the gas pedal, the EMP generator resumed its usual pulsing _vwooOOOOooom, vwooOOOOooom, vwoooOOOOooom._ Jay kept pressing the accelerator, watching the speedometer needle slowly drift upwards. The generator eased into a brisker _wvom-vwom-vwom-vwom_ , and the car vibrated slightly. They were going a little above thirty, but it felt faster.

"I hope this thing doesn't blow up," said Kai over the noise, although he sounded more excited than actually worried.

They hit forty. Then forty-five. The EMP generator's song suddenly morphed into a steady _VWOOOOOOOOOOOO_ , and everyone glanced to Zane—but the Nindroid was still awake and alert.

"We're comin' in, Nya!" Jay called over the walkie-talkie. "Stand by! We're going forty-nine, and I don't think it's working!"

"Keep speeding up!" said Nya. "I've got the radar gun on y—"

The walkie-talkie went dead. Zane slumped against Kai.

"We got it! We got it!" Jay yelled into the walkie-talkie, then realized Nya couldn't hear him.

"Fifty-six! I think it was fifty-six." Cole was grinning from ear to ear, caught up in the moment. Jay, bubbling with excitement himself, tapped the brakes. They dropped back down to forty-five, and Zane slowly woke up.

"It worked!" he said, then put a hand to his head. "I have a headache."

They parked beneath the _Bounty_ , chattering excitedly.

"Did you get the speed? Didja? It worked!" cheered Jay.

"I did! The radar gun died at fifty-five point five!" Nya shouted down.

"You mean the EMPs reached all the way up there?!"

"Yeah! They were strong enough to buzz the ship and give the aliens heart attacks." Nya shook her head. "I may have to tone down the range a little, or we'll knock out half the city."

"Man, no wonder Zane has a headache."

They messed around with the car for another hour, whizzing back and forth along the desert road. Zane got tired of passing out, so he stayed on the _Bounty_ , trying to soothe the aliens. Lloyd and Kai were dead set against both being in the car at the same time, but they soon caved—everyone wanted a turn driving it. Even riding in the back, bouncing around with no seatbelts, was too fun. Nya fine-tuned the EMP generator's range and tested if the effects always started at the same speed. They didn't—the EMPs kicked in at anywhere from fifty to sixty miles per hour.

"I don't like this." Nya folded her arms.

"Ohhh, come on!" Kai was driving now, and he glanced back to Nya with an exasperated smile. "You outfitted a freaking car to perform electrical magic, and you're grumpy about a little inaccuracy?"

"Precision, not accuracy," said Nya automatically. "And precision is important! You might not always have Zane around to check if the EMPs are actually working."

"It would be nice to have some kind of indicator," said Cole. "Say! What if we played the—radio . . . " He laughed sheepishly. "Right. Forgot that wasn't working."

"Music is a good idea, though," said Jay. "I've got an idea."

They fetched an old boom box from the _Bounty_ and bolted it to the divider between the front seats. It was so old that it only took cassette tapes, and they didn't have any of those. They had to drive around the city for quite a bit before they found a record-swap store that sold cassettes. Cole came out with an entire hatbox full.

"This is childhood, Lloyd," he said, waving one of the little plastic boxes. "I bet you don't even know how to load one of these, do ya?"

"I'll figure it out," said Lloyd, rolling his eyes. He was a little snippy. Just because he agreed to be in the same car as Kai didn't mean he was cheerful about it.

Meanwhile the owner of the record-swap store stood in the doorway, eyeing their car covetously.

"Nice ride," he said.

"Thanks," said several of the ninja simultaneously. Nya got a few amused looks. As they drove away, she huffed and folded her arms.

"It's still a dumb car."

As they drove back, Kai tested the car's max speed, which was . . . fast, to say the least.

"That was awesome!" cheered Jay as they parked in the Samurai X cave and piled out. "Sorry Nya, but this has got to be one of our coolest vehicles ever."

"You know, we should name it." Kai leaned back against the driver's side door. "All our other vehicles had names."

"Ooooh, you're right!"

"Just call it an orange crate," said Nya, rolling her eyes.

"Nooo, no, it has to be something with the EMPs. Uhh . . . Quasar?"

"Ugh, leave your Starfarer lingo out of this please. How about Screamer, after the noise it makes?"

"That makes it sound like something out of a horror movie."

"Sounds about right," offered Nya.

"Nyaaaaaa. Ooh, what about E-M-Piranha?"

"That's both horror-movie _and_ dumb."

"Is not! It's fierce! Piranhas are fierce!"

"How about E-M-Panther?"

"How about lemon."

"E-M-Poltergeist."

"Gas guzzler."

"E-M-Penguin?"

"How is a penguin scary?!"

"Well, I was going more for elegant . . . "

"Dude, have you seen a penguin walking? Like, ever?"

"I've got it!" Cole snapped his fingers suddenly. "Emperor! That starts with EMP!"

"Yeah, that's good!" Jay raised his hand in support. "Only, she's a girl. So . . . "

"Empress," said Kai. He grinned. "Yeah. That has a nice ring to it."

"The royal family has really let itself go," remarked Nya, although she was smiling along with everyone else. "Okay. Can we all stop gushing about this car and go home now? We didn't even have lunch."

"Okay, okay. Sensei's probably gonna want us to train." Cole glanced over to the nearby parked _Bounty_ , then back to the newly-christened Empress. "But tonight, we're going on our first warehouse hunt."

"Aw right." Kai flexed his tattooed hand, his eyes bright with anticipation. "About time. Let's see how those Technicians like dealing with royalty."

* * *

The aliens were done. Just done. After the constant barrage of EMPs coming from below for half the day, they didn't want anything to do with anyone ever again. They were even sulky with Jay. He petted them soothingly and did his best to explain that this was important and they needed those EMPs, but they still refused to come out of the kitchen. They sat in the sink, one alien per basin, and glared at anyone who came in. Jay at last gave up, hoping they would come around soon.

Despite the lack of lunch, the ninja and Nya only got to eat a few quick bites. Sensei Wu did indeed want them to train. He was at least a little understanding, though, because he took it easy on them, assigning the shortest set of each kata.

Cole sought out Jay as a sparring partner. This was unusual—usually they hated sparring with each other, because their fighting styles were completely mismatched. Jay was quick and nimble, flickering here and there with a rapid succession of small, stinging nunchuk blows. Cole was a bulldozer of lumbering force, with a giant heavy scythe. It was hard for him to land a hit on a lightfooted target like Jay—but when he did, it usually didn't end too well for the lightning master.

Today, though, they jumped at the chance for a semi-private conversation.

"We still need to talk to Lloyd," murmured Cole. "I haven't had a chance to get him alone all day."

"I know, me neither," said Jay. "But I've figured out how we can ask him tactfully. I can say I was playing hide-and-seek with the aliens and found his weird plastic thingy, and act like I'm curious about it. That way he doesn't have to know we heard him last night."

"Why lie? He might as well know we heard him." Cole swiped his scythe ineffectually. "Either way, let's try to get him alone tonight, after training but before we take the Empress out."

"Yeah. Grab him by the shirt and drag him off if you have to," said Jay. "I wanna know what all that creepy stuff last night was."

"Me too—ow." Cole shook his wrist after a nunchuk blow. "While we're at it, maybe we can try talking to him again about Kai."

Jay glanced over to Lloyd, then raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe we won't have to."

Cole passed up the chance to nail Jay with his scythe to look surreptitiously over his shoulder. Kai and Lloyd had voluntarily picked each other as sparring partners. The earth ninja cringed.

"I don't think we should be too happy about this, Jay."

Jay got a better look at their expressions and gulped.

Kai and Lloyd fell at each other with a savagery that really didn't belong in sparring practice. They were both training with katana at the moment, and the ring of blade against blade rose above all the other battle sounds in the room. Slowly the other sparring pairs began to taper off, watching. Wu gripped his staff in disapproval.

 _Clang! Shhak!_ Lloyd briefly locked blades with Kai, then forced his hand aside, scraping the edge of Kai's katana with the crosspiece of his own. Sparks flew. Lloyd had a bleeding slash across his cheek, but he didn't seem to notice. While Kai's blade was diverted, he brought up his own and drove the point at Kai's chest, forcing the red ninja to jerk away and swipe desperately to parry. Seething, Kai fell back, katana poised, searching for a gap in Lloyd's defenses.

Lloyd was doing the same. After a second they dove at each other again, blades flashing. Proper form had long since been thrown to the winds—they were more or less just trying to hack each other to bits in the most inelegant way possible. Nobody else was sparring anymore. They had the room's full attention.

Finally the two opponents miscalculated, both striking full-force at the same time. Their blades locked, hilt-to-hilt. They strained against each others' weight, both unable to pull back, heat crackling in their glares.

"Enough!" rapped Sensei Wu. "Fall back."

They didn't. Frowning, Sensei Wu stepped forward and slid his staff deftly between the two crossed swords, flicking them apart. Kai and Lloyd both seemed to come out of a trance, stepping back and glancing apologetically to their master.

"Please occupy yourselves otherwise," said Wu crisply. He looked around. "The rest of you—!"

Everyone went back to their sparring, while Kai and Lloyd went to train against the equipment. Wu only waited for the others to end their matches before calling a halt.

"That's enough training for today," he said. "You are excused."

Everyone relaxed and headed for the door, eager to grab dinner before they took the Empress out.

"Except you two!"

Kai and Lloyd turned back, silent questions in their eyes.

"If you have enough energy to waste on petty hatred," said Wu, "then you clearly have too much. Make your peace now, or we shall see about burning off that excess energy."

Kai and Lloyd stood stock-still, looking at the Sensei quietly. They were clearly not down for the first option. Wu looked from one to the other and sighed.

"So be it. Take up staffs."

The other ninja had ostensibly left, knowing that the Sensei wouldn't want them hanging around. Still, every now and then one of them would sneak over to peek through the door.

It dragged on for an hour. Wu put Kai and Lloyd through every kind of fighting technique they knew, cycling through every weapon they were trained in, finally bringing it down to hand-to-hand combat. Most of the time they tied. Once in a while one of them would win, slamming the other to the floor or pinning a blade against his throat. Wu always called on them to start again. He knew better than to let the matter end with a display of dominance.

"What is he trying to do?" whispered Jay, nudging Cole aside for a better view. "Run them to exhaustion?"

"I guess he's hoping they'll get so tired they'll give up on being angry," said Cole.

"There's no way this can end well." Nya shook her head. "Pitting them against each other _more_ isn't gonna convince them to make up."

"I think he kinda doesn't know what else to do about this," said Cole. "I know I don't."

"And hey, it worked for us." Jay glanced at him.

"Yeah, but this is my brother we're talking about." Nya watched the two fighters with pursed lips. "Never knew Lloyd was that stubborn, though."

Kai and Lloyd broke apart briefly, pulling to opposite sides of the room to size each other up. They were both soaked with sweat, spotted with blood, their shoulders heaving as they struggled for air. Lloyd's hair was a ragged mess; Kai had picked up a black eye. The fury burning in the air when their gazes met hadn't subsided at _all._

"I can't watch this," groaned Nya, heading off.

They clashed again. Jay had to agree it was pretty painful to watch—they were both much too exhausted to maintain their form, and their technique was sliding steadily down from the precise, fluid motions of martial arts to the jagged haymakers of a bar brawl. They left stupidly easy openings in their defenses, which luckily didn't matter because they were getting stupidly bad at landing any hits.

"Enough!" rumbled Wu at last, slamming the end of his staff down on the floor. "Fall back!"

The fight continued.

"Kai. Lloyd." There was a sharp edge to Wu's voice. "That's an order."

Still no effect. The two ninja broke apart, staggering slightly, only to hurl themselves at each other again. Jay was the only one still watching, and he gripped the doorframe in terrified anticipation. This was it. They had taken matters into their own hands. However this fight ended, it was going to settle the score.

He just prayed it would end as well as that Tournament battle did.

Kai and Lloyd seemed to have tapped into some hidden reserves of energy. The match devolved into a whirl of green and red, which soon ended up tumbling around on the floor, breaths whistling. Neither was able to gain the upper hand. Kai nearly got Lloyd pinned beneath him, and Jay tensed, thinking this was it—but Lloyd gave a furious growl and hurled Kai off. As Lloyd scrambled up, Kai rolled to his feet, stumbled, and dropped into a defensive stance. For the briefest second their eyes met from across the room, fury darkening their features—then a ball of fire suddenly burst to life in Kai's palm.

Jay clamped his hands over his mouth. Using powers for an indoor battle was strictly forbidden. Kai couldn't have anything good in mind.

The Sensei also stiffened and started forward.

"Kai!—"

The intervention never happened. The second he saw the flames in Kai's hand, Lloyd went up in a blaze of energy. Whirling pale-green globes appeared around both his hands, and he hurled one straight into Kai's chest.

It was no practice shot. Kai slammed back against the wall, his head cracking into the wood. He stumbled forward, barely conscious, but didn't even have time to hit the floor before Lloyd's second blast spun him into the wall again.

"LLOYD!" shouted Jay, horrified.

Lloyd's feet were braced wide, his hands fixed in front of him, again glowing with energy. Something dark flickered in his eyes as he looked at Kai's still form. Shivering, the fire ninja slowly started to pull himself up on one elbow.

Lloyd's eyes slid shut.

Jay had skidded a half-pace into the room and then frozen with indecision, rocking between either ninja. He didn't know if he should tackle Lloyd or go to help Kai. Finally he slid to his knees at the red ninja's side. Kai was smoking slightly, leftover crackles of green energy sparking off his clothes. He struggled to push himself up, his eyes hazy.

"Shhh, easy Kai, no," murmured Jay, putting a soothing hand on his shoulder. "Don't move. I gotcha."

His head snapped around to check on Lloyd, worried that another shot was coming. The green ninja was still pulsing with energy, enough to hold off anyone who tried to attack him. His head was down, his eyes were shut, and above the whine of dancing power Jay heard a low murmur.

For the longest moment the world seemed to fall still. Nothing moved except for the strands of green light whipping around Lloyd's body. In the eerie quivering glow filling the room, Lloyd's whisper seemed oddly loud. With every word the temperature seemed to drop.

Then a crystalline indigo stain bloomed across the wall.

Jay pulled Kai off the floor and clutched him for dear life, his eyes shut tight. It was _cold_. He could feel a wave of darkness burst from the flickering indigo stain, wrapping possessively around him and Kai, pulling them closer. He heard distant screams from somewhere beyond, a chorus of millions of voices howling. Tormented. Furious. Hungry. They were coming.

"Lloyd!"

Sensei Wu's shout cut through the whine of energy and the whistle of dark magic and the barrage of distant screams. Jay's eyes cracked open just in time to see Sensei Wu swinging his staff, breaking the whirl of green power, letting Cole barge into the room and tackle Lloyd to the floor. Lloyd struggled underneath him, shouting desperately. Then Wu brought the end of his staff down with a crack, and Lloyd fell back, limp.

A spine-twisting _vweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!_ , a final whoosh of cold, and suddenly everything fell silent. Warmth returned to the air. Jay checked and sighed in relief when he saw Kai was still here.

Cole stood up, blood dripping from his lip, and looked around grimly.

"Anyone care to tell me what just happened?"


	79. The One With the Depressed-Looking Bear

**Zaptrap: Heh, thanks for the review! Glad you liked the intensity. Well, at first Kai and Lloyd were technically having proper sparring matches, so nobody felt the need to intervene. Then when Sensei told them to stop fighting and they refused, only Jay was watching, and he didn't expect them to try** ** _kill_** **each other. And THEN after things got real, Lloyd was surrounded by green power and it would be dangerous even to get near him. So yeah. ^_^''**

 **Daedalus-demands: Well, yeah, but . . . Captain _America?_ Ninjago is a fictional continent on a fictional planet. They probably don't have America. ^_^''**

 **TheAmberShadow: Yes, unfortunately, he was aware! Although not necessarily in control.  
Heh, yeah, you're not done till you've named the thing. The aliens and Nya should form a committee to take this car down. :P  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Kendra: Dannnnng, I musta screwed something up. You're not the first person to ask me that. T_T  
Anyways, Lloyd was mad because Kai made a big scene dragging him out of that Slither Pit. He resents being treated like a kid, y'know? Plus Kai said a couple things he maybe shouldn't have, just afterwards. And Kai's mostly mad at Lloyd for being freaking _crazy_ enough to go into a Slither Pit (look who's talking, right?) and scaring him like that. He really doesn't want his little brother to make all of his mistakes.  
So the fight started there, and then instead of getting over it they both started to sulk. ****They haven't been speaking for days.** **And the more everyone tried to calm them down the angrier at each other they got.  
That clear it up? ^_^''  
Aw, well, I don't _really_ get a chapter out every week. I'm writing a few chapters ahead of the stuff that I actually post. So if some weeks I don't actually write a whole chapter, I still have a little "safety net" of pre-written stuff. Some weeks I manage to write more than a full chapter, so that keeps it balanced. Or it should. Lately I've been falling behind. :S  
**

 **Anonymous7: Yep. The spell's been taking over pretty bad, these days Lloyd feels an urge to say it at the slightest excuse. Plus . . . well, the first time Lloyd used that spell, it was a _trade_ . . . and he'd kind of like to trade back . . . if you know what I mean . . . He certainly would never consciously admit to wanting to trade Kai for his dad, but the thought's somewhere in the back of his head.  
Yeah, looks like lots of people name their cars. ^_^'' Cute! Hadn't thought of naming by license plate.  
Heh, the fun thing about fanfiction is that it has more time for conversations. The show has to keep the plot cracking. ^_^''  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Fire Oreo: It was bound to escalate eventually! Lloyd's . . . a little off, right now.  
Pitting them against each other was a reallllly bad idea on Wu's part. It just put them into openly aggressive mode. As usual everything is Wu's fault. :P  
He didn't fully open it! There was, like, still a screen door in front of it. Basically. The Cursed Realm equivalent of a screen door. :P  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Jens: Heh. Sorry for freaking you out, Dr. Jens. ^_^''  
Yep! Remember the convenience store, when he started spazzing out weirdly? The spell's been worming into his conscious state for quite a while.  
Those two are still gonna have a few issues before things get better. :/  
Yeah, I have bad associations from cherry-flavored cough medicine. :P I do like the strawberry, though!  
**

 **Kairocksrainbow: What did I do? Well, I had Lloyd slam Kai into a wall and then attempt to Curse him. Does that about cover it? ;)  
Hehe, that's a much better idea than Wu's. You keep a good grip on those two until they promise to be nice to each other.  
They really are best friends, though. Things just got . . . _very_ out of hand lately.  
Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Oct 3**

 **9:59 PM**

 **Status conditions: Good grief, I don't know**

* * *

Needless to say, their outing with the Empress was postponed. Lloyd woke up just as Kai came back from getting his broken wrist set.

"So. Some explanations?" said Cole, arms folded. Lloyd looked around, dazed. Everyone was there, looking at him. His gaze landed on Kai.

"I didn't tell them anything," said Kai. "I figured you should be around."

Lloyd shifted. He looked at Kai's casted wrist for a moment and seemed about to say something, but no words came. Then he looked mutely to Sensei Wu, pleading with his eyes. The Sensei shook his head. Accepting that this was his problem now, Lloyd took a deep breath and drew up his knees, wrapping his arms around them.

"So I've been opening the Cursed Realm . . . "

"For _real?_ That was the actual Cursed Realm?!" Jay yelped. His head spun. He had been literally an arm's length away from that portal. A word more from Lloyd, and Kai might have been sucked forever into that black screaming abyss. Gosh knows, Jay might have been dragged with him.

"WHY in all that's consecrated—" began Cole.

"I don't _know._ " Lloyd shook his head despairingly. "I don't know!"

"What do you _mean_ you don't know?! You just 'accidentally' started rattling off the Cursed Realm spell?"

"It was in my sleep!"

Cole subsided.

In bits and pieces Lloyd explained. How a month ago he'd started talking in his sleep, reciting the spell. The mouthguard. Gradually trying harder and harder to say the spell, getting violent if anyone tried to interrupt him.

"Oh my gosh. That's what you were trying to say in the tunnels too, wasn't it?" said Jay. "You nearly Cursed us back there and I didn't even know it!"

"I'm sorry," said Lloyd softly.

"And when you got all spazzed out in the convenience store—was that the spell too?"

"Y-yeah. I . . . there were so many Technicians, and all I could think was that Cursing them would solve the problem really fast. I-it's been getting to the point that I _want_ to say it. Even when I'm awake. All the time, sometimes."

"And you didn't tell us?!" demanded Cole. "You're running around with compulsions to Curse us all, trying to open demon realms while we're sleeping, and you thought this wasn't something we needed to know? And Kai _agreed_ with you? I can't believe the _both_ of you!"

"It got away from me," said Lloyd into his knees. "At first we thought the mouthguard would solve the problem. Then when it didn't stop right away, I thought maybe it would take a few days."

"And I kept _telling_ you to talk to Sensei," said Kai.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just, I kept thinking, just a little longer, maybe it'll go away on its own. But instead it only got worse . . . "

"As I said it would," said Wu. He looked uncharacteristically exhausted. "I warned about the dangers of dark magic. This is partly my fault—I should have been more proactive about making sure the spell was not taking over. I should not have stood aside and assumed nothing was wrong just because I was not hearing anything about it."

"It's not your fault, Sensei," said Lloyd softly.

"But . . . hey," said Jay. Seeing Lloyd this miserable was starting to get to him. "It's not like you wanted any of this, right? You didn't mean to start sleeptalking. You didn't mean to let the spell get more powerful."

"Whether he meant to or not, it still has," said Wu. "It will be much harder to get rid of now. The darkness has put down many strong roots."

"I'm turning evil?" Lloyd looked up.

Jay felt his stomach drop out. This explained way too much. The increasing moodiness, the grudges. His refusal to forgive Kai after the Slither Pit incident. Just now his attempt to _kill_ Kai. Their littlest brother was _turning into a monster._

"I . . . do not think the damage is irreversible, just yet," said Wu slowly. "In your heart you are still the same person. But you have been through some . . . traumatic experiences recently. Your dragon has also been damaged directly. All of this has doubtless weakened you against the spell's power."

"Your dragon," said Cole, his eyes growing wide. "I _knew_ those black scales weren't there before!"

"Yeah, it's . . . it's been changing." Lloyd shrank into himself with shame.

"When?!"

"For a while now."

"How did we not see it?"

"I flew towards the back. Sometimes I skipped out on using my dragon, when I could. I didn't wanna say anything . . . "

"You've been really determined to keep this under wraps, haven't you?" said Nya.

Lloyd dropped his gaze to the floor. A bit of silence.

"Well. The dragon should give us a pretty good idea of how you're doing," said Cole at last. "Feel like showing us, kiddo?"

Honestly speaking Lloyd looked like he'd rather undergo frontal lobotomy, but he set his teeth and nodded.

"I'll try."

* * *

They went out on the deck. Lloyd tried again and again to summon his dragon. Each time he could only produce a smattering of green sparks, and occasionally the ghostly outline of some wings. They always instantly fizzled out.

"Focus," said Wu firmly. "Block out everything else. Overcome your fear."

Lloyd shut his eyes, taking a huge gulp of air. Finally he managed to drag his mount into existence, boosting off the deck onto its back.

It only lasted for a second before Lloyd opened his eyes and caught the others' gazes. Immediately the dragon vanished again, dropping him to the boards.

It lasted just long enough for the others to get a good look, though. Jay swallowed, stunned. The dragon was bowed and rheumatic, shedding great patches of rotten black scales. Its eyes were cloudy and sunken, its wings skeletal, the frills around its head ragged. Glowing clear fluid dripped from a gaping puncture passing straight through its neck.

All in all the creature had looked like it couldn't decide whether it should flop over dead right now, or go star in a zombie movie first. And that was Lloyd's _soul_.

Lloyd sat up slowly, black charred scales still fluttering down around him, dissolving into twists of sparkling light. He looked around at the others, his expression empty. The gulf between him and them had just become gapingly obvious, and half of him seemed to be asking silently if he could still come back. If he could still be accepted back. The other half—more unsettling—was begging to just let him go.

"First Spinjitzu Master unpreceded," said Cole at last.

"I'm sorry." It must have been the sixth time at least Lloyd had said it. He climbed to his feet, his eyes fixed on the deck. At length Sensei Wu stepped forward and held out his hand, calling Lloyd forward.

"Let's go inside. We have our work cut out for us."

* * *

Although it was an unhealthy hour of the night, nobody went to bed. They all settled in the living room, for the most part silent. Jay watched Lloyd sympathetically. He did a very good "trapped animal" impression.

"So is this it?" he said, his voice hollow. "Am I gonna be evil?"

"I do not think you're too far gone yet," said Wu. "But we must stop you from saying the spell again. A few more times and it may indeed become irreversible. We must also work on rebuilding your defenses."

"Defenses?" Jay tilted his head.

"The strength of the mind and soul to stand against evil," said Wu. "These are weakened by the darker passions—anger, guilt, sadness, shame, violent thoughts. Everyone experiences these things, but not everyone is contending with a powerful evil spell at the same time. Dark passions weaken your spirit, making room for the spell. As the spell takes root, it drives you to more anger, more guilt. The cycle continues."

"And judging by the state of your dragon," said Cole quietly, "it's been going on for some time."

"Exactly." Wu fixed Lloyd with a level gaze. "We can no longer afford to beat around the bush. You must tell us what is bothering you."

"Nothin's bothering me," muttered Lloyd.

"Ah, ah!" Cole held up one hand. "Kiddo. Look. You spent all this time saying you were fine when you had an evil spell taking over. You said the Technicians only _nicked_ your dragon when they shot it straight through the throat. If we're gonna help you, we're gonna need honesty."

Lloyd flinched. He folded his legs, looking recalcitrant.

"Well?" coaxed Zane. Lloyd visibly tried to pull some words together, then shook his head despairingly.

"Do we have to talk about it _now?_ "

Most eyes turned to Wu. He hesitated.

"No," he said at last. "Perhaps now is not the best time."

"But Sensei—" began Cole.

"We will absolutely talk about this later," said Wu. "But right now we are all tired and shaken. That is not a good state to be in when discussing matters this delicate. We have all had a trying evening; for now it will be enough to calm down and get some rest."

"But—" Cole tried again.

"Cole," said Wu. "Come with me a minute."

He took the earth ninja off into the hallway, where they had a murmured conversation behind the closed door. Jay caught some snatches of "we must not make him feel smothered or trapped, it will only make matters worse" and "he's not dangerous, is he?" Zane, who could doubtless hear the conversation perfectly, was sitting with a canted head and a pained expression. The others hung about in silence. Lloyd stared at the floor as if mentally ordering it to swallow him.

At last the tension and distant mumbling started to wear down Jay's nerves. He stood up.

"Tell you what, I'll make hot chocolate."

He got no replies, but he went off into the kitchen anyway. He began to gather mugs, heat water, and spoon out cocoa powder.

" _Ipp._ " Jay started slightly as Mopp surfaced from the left basin of the sink, looking like a deer in the headlights. The alien made a subdued whining noise. Jay winced.

"Tension getting you down, huh buddy?" he murmured, stepping over to rub the alien's head. "We're gonna sort everything out. Don't worry, 'kay?"

Mopp purred cautiously, relaxing ever so slightly and leaning into Jay's hand. Jay kept stroking him. He wondered where Meep was hiding. Poor critters, they were always so sensitive to a toxic atmosphere.

The kettle started to whistle. Jay turned around and jumped again when he saw Kai at the counter, finishing the cocoa powder distribution. His jaw was tight. Jay eyed him uneasily. All throughout their previous conversation Kai had been sitting off to one side, motionless and stony-faced. If he was still holding a grudge against Lloyd even _now_ , Jay wasn't sure if he wanted to sympathize with him or deck him.

After all, Lloyd did just try to kill him. And worse. For the time being Jay held his tongue.

Kai didn't say anything either, except to growl under his breath when his casted left wrist interfered with pouring hot water over the cocoa powder. He stirred the various mugs in silence.

"You okay?" said Jay at last, picking up a spoon and sidling over to help.

Kai only grunted. From the sink Mopp made a disdainful noise. His opinion of Kai was low, and growing steadily lower.

"It wasn't his own choice, you know," said Jay carefully. "He wasn't controlling what he did."

Kai set down the cocoa tin a little more forcefully than necessary. Jay twitched, frustrated. Yes, he could see Kai's side of it, but they had enough crises on their hands without Kai adding his moods to the mix. Couldn't he see that? For once could he put aside his selfishness?

Before Jay could say anything, though, Kai took a deep breath and let it out.

"How much of this is my fault?" he said quietly.

Jay stared. That was not what he'd been expecting.

Kai fiddled mindlessly with a spoon, his eyes fixed on the handle of the nearest mug.

"You heard what Sensei said. The spell moves in deeper if he's angry and stuff."

"I . . . " Jay searched for words. "You—"

"I mean, the other day in the mines, you said I was thinking about myself too much and not everything was my fault," said Kai. "But this _is_ my fault, isn't it? I got him angry back at Yang's Tavern. I let the fight keep going for days. He was fine just a little while ago, wasn't he? The spell took over this much because of _me._ "

"I . . . I don't think it's _all_ your fault," said Jay hesitantly. "I mean, like Sensei said, it's a cycle. For sure the spell gained ground because he was angry, but he was also angry because of the spell. You know Lloyd isn't the type to go into a Slither Pit, normally. And he doesn't usually hold grudges."

"I know. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of that, waiting for him to give in first." Kai rubbed his face with both hands. "I shouldn't have kept his sleeptalking under wraps. I probably wrecked up even more stuff back at that stupid Slither Pit. Even now, he wouldn't have used his element if I hadn't first."

Jay considered. Usually he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, but right now he wanted to take a little more care with his words.

"Well," he said at last. "Maybe you did wreck some stuff up. Not all, but definitely a little. So then, now it's your job to fix it."

"How, Einstein?" A flash of Kai's usual sarcasm reappeared.

"I don't know. Patch things up with Lloyd, for starters."

"Agh. I should." Kai sighed, reaching for the milk. "But like Sensei said, we're all shook up right now. I'd probably just freak him out."

"Maybe not tonight," agreed Jay. "But soon. Don't let him think you're even angrier with him now."

"I know, I know." Kai sighed again. "I'll have to do this right. I need to think of something."

"You do that. I'm here for consultation." Jay carefully picked up four mugs, two in either hand. "For now, mind giving me a hand?"

Kai nodded and picked up the two remaining mugs with his free right hand. He gave his left wrist a grimace and followed Jay into the living room.

The others were still sitting quietly. Cole was back. Sensei Wu had left, probably realizing his pupils could relax better if they weren't under their teacher's eye. Nya was showing Lloyd a video on her phone. Judging by the music, it must have been a cat video or some other cute funny stuff. Lloyd was still stiff, but he was smiling just a little, carefully, as if he wasn't sure he had permission.

"Drink up," said Jay, handing around the cocoa. Everyone tucked in gratefully. Jay eyed Lloyd over the rim of his mug, watching as he sipped gingerly at the sweet, milky liquid. He still looked tense.

"So," said Cole at last. "Anything else on your mind?"

"L-like what?" Lloyd got even tenser. Nya shot Cole a warning look.

"Easy." Cole waved a hand soothingly. "Just, you know. If there's anything that's bothering you, you can tell us. We want to help."

"Nothing comes to mind," mumbled Lloyd.

Cole let out a long breath through his nose. Lloyd stared down into his cocoa, cowed but resolute. Jay was reminded of a Stone Warrior; everything you threw at him went "clunk" and fell uselessly to the floor.

"No secrets between brothers," said Cole at last, softly.

"And sister." Nya scooted closer, tucking her legs underneath herself.

"I dunno." Lloyd sounded tired. "You know about the spell. You know about my dragon. I've been spilling my guts all evening already."

"True," said Cole. "Fair point."

"Does anyone else have any secrets?" said Zane. "That might make it fairer."

"Yeah, let's go for that," said Cole.

Some hemming and hawing.

"Um . . . " Jay swallowed. "I have one."

Five pairs of interested eyes turned to him. He swallowed again.

"You have to promise not to get mad."

"Those are the rules," sighed Cole, settling back. "Spill."

"Soooo . . . the aliens." Jay twisted his hands together, wishing he had Meep or Mopp here with him for backup. Then again, maybe it was good they weren't around. "You remember back when we got out of the mines, and we were in that Technician base, and I fought Nash? Well, Meep helped me out. And something was . . . weird."

"What do you mean?"

"He looked _different._ He was bigger, and his shape changed. Even his voice was different. It was like . . . like he'd leveled up or something."

"Holy cow," said Kai.

"There's nothing dangerous about them!" Jay bristled up automatically. Then he remembered himself and struggled to reel in his tone. "He did it to help me. He was stronger in that form, he pushed down a bunch of huge data towers on Nash's head. Then he got out of my sight really fast, and the next I saw him he was normal again."

"Okay," said Cole. "I have to say, I'm a little creeped-out now."

"Yeah, if—" Kai started to say something, then abruptly snapped his mouth shut. Somehow Jay knew he'd been about to bring up the elemental sickness, and how aliens this weird _must_ have had something to do with it.

But he didn't. Jay felt a shot of gratitude. The last thing Lloyd needed to deal with now was another fight, and Kai was trying. He was trying really hard.

"Seriously Jay," said Nya. "The next time the aliens do something weird, tell us, okay? This is important. We can't gamble when we're dealing with extraterrestrial life."

"Sorry," mumbled Jay. He was glad the room was pretty dim. He felt safer confessing this stuff. "I just . . . there was a lot going on at the time . . . And I kinda worried you guys would freak out . . . "

"Is it really that terrifying even if we do freak out?" said Cole wearily. "Because so far everyone has been keeping some pretty insane secrets just to avoid it."

"Yeah, next someone's gonna confess to a murder," said Kai drily.

"Oh, is that your big secret then?" Cole snarked back. Kai huffed.

"Naw. I think I only have one secret now, and that was something I just learned an hour ago." He held up his splinted wrist. Lloyd looked away.

"While I was getting this sucker," said Kai, "the doctor saw my barcode tattoo. He asked me about it—and get this, he said, 'is this some kind of new fashion thing? I've been seeing these around lately.''

"He's seen other people with barcodes?" Jay straightened up eagerly. "Where? Who?"

"Other patients, apparently," sighed Kai. "The doc couldn't tell me a thing. Sworn to patient privacy, y'know? But at least that means we have another lead. There must be a lot of people with these tattoos! While we're checking out the warehouses, we can also pick some trustworthy people and ask if they've seen barcode hands lately. Heck, we could even ask the police—it's not knowledge we've gotta keep secret. Pretty great, right?"

"Really great!" said Cole. "That's actually a good secret for a change."

"Awesome. Well, who's next?" said Jay, sprawling back comfortably on the floor. Now that he had his own confessions off his chest, he felt much better. And admittedly a little eager to see what the others were harboring.

"I . . . sorta have one, I guess?" said Nya.

"Ooh!" Jay sat back up. "Is this about which wire you cut?"

"What—ohh, come on, no."

"It's been driving me crazy! I wanna know!"

"It was both wires." Nya rolled her eyes good-naturedly, while Jay gave a disappointed sigh and flopped back again. "Anyway. My secret is, uh . . . Well, you guys know how Jay and I read a lot of Starfarer fanfictions?"

"Uh-oh," said Kai jokingly.

"Tell me this isn't about shipping DonniFria," said Jay from the floor.

"Gesundheit," said Cole.

"It's not about ships." Nya groaned. "Are you guys gonna let me get this over with?"

"Sorry, sorry."

"Well, so there's this one author I really don't like," said Nya. "Aura Seafoam?"

"Oh yeah. I heard you griping about her a couple of times," said Kai.

"She gripes about her ALL the time," grumbled Jay. "On this one point I will never agree. She's pretty good."

"See, that's why it's awkward," said Nya. "She's, uh . . . me."

"WHAT?!" Jay sat up so fast he nearly pulled something. "YOU'RE HER?"

"I didn't want anyone to know I wrote fanfiction," groaned Nya, smiling embarrassedly. "So I kept it under wraps, and then you tried reading it and I kept thinking 'oh man, did I really write that, this line sounds so _stupid_ out loud,' and it was just really awkward overall. So I had to get you to stop reading it somehow."

"I can't believe this!" Jay had his hands clamped over his mouth, his eyes wide. "Oh my gosh, _you_ wrote _Six Weeks In the Fuschian Galaxy_? And _Dark Seas_? OH MY GOSH, _you_ wrote that freaking scene where they—"

"Jay!" interrupted Nya, laughing. "Stoppit!"

"I can't belieeeeeve this! This is so cool!" Jay flopped back yet again, grinning at the ceiling. "I should have known those metaphors about two-stroke engines couldn't come from just anyone!"

"Geez." Nya covered her face, although whether to hide her blush or her amusement wasn't clear.

"Well, that was an interesting one," said Cole. "For Jay, I guess."

"Hey, I'm interested too." Kai gave a significant smile. "Maybe I might get into fanfiction after all."

"Aw great, just what I need, my big brother snooping through my space soap operas," groaned Nya. "I regret this already."

Kai ruffled her hair gently, chuckling. They were all feeling better by now—even Lloyd was smiling as he listened, relieved to no longer be the center of attention.

"Okay, so who else has secrets?" said Jay, drumming his heels against the sofa.

"You're enjoying this a little too much," grinned Nya. Jay grinned back.

"Cooooooooole?"

"Yeah, you were the one who started this whole secret-spewing thing," said Kai.

"Geeeeeez. Okay, okay. Um." Cole threw his head back, studying the ceiling as he thought. "Uhhh . . . myyyyy . . . favorite color is actually orange?"

Cries of disapproval.

"You call that a secret?!"

"Yeesh." Cole shook his head. "Ummmm . . . I don't actually hate barbershop music and acappella as much as I say I do? I mean, mostly for nostalgic reasons, but you know."

"That baaaaarely counts." Jay folded his arms. "We have serious secrets here, Dirtclod. You are not contributing your fair share to this discussion."

"Well, what can I do? Maybe I'm just a very open person," said Cole, grinning and folding his arms as well.

"Or maybe you're hiding something really horrific." Jay narrowed his eyes in mock suspicion.

The conversation veered off into a good-natured squabble about whether or not Cole was secretly breeding Starteeth in his sock drawer. Then they decided to turn on the TV, keeping the volume low to avoid disturbing Sensei. Everyone settled down a little more comfortably, wordlessly agreeing to spend the night here. Jay fetched the aliens, who were relieved at the decreasing tension and thus willing to forgive the EMPs from earlier today. Cole glanced to Lloyd.

"Y'know, just in case, the mouthguard might be a good idea," he said, with his usual mix of directness and gentleness. He didn't make things awkward, but he kept it quiet and unaccusatory. Lloyd flinched, inevitably, but it was still the least painful way the conversation could have happened. He nodded and went to fetch the device.

"We'll keep you from starting though, don't worry," said Cole as Lloyd put it on.

"How?" asked Lloyd indistinctly, giving him a hopeless look.

"I . . . ah, I dunno. But we will. Somehow. Don't worry." Cole spread his hands. "We have to. It's not like you can quit sleeping."

Jay caught an eyebrow twitch from Lloyd that he didn't like the meaning of.

As they were all half-watching whatever weird movie was on at this hour of night, Zane poked his head over the arm of the sofa. Jay was nested underneath it, festooned in aliens.

"Mmm?" murmured Jay, peering up at him drowsily.

"I am once again confused," whispered Zane. "First I was told I was hugging people too much and it was awkward. Then when I tried to be less awkward everyone wanted to hug me again. I thought this time I should just ask."

"Okay, shoot." Jay yawned.

"Do you think it would be a good idea to hug Lloyd now?"

"Sure, give it a try," Jay whispered back. "See if he likes it."

"All right." Zane disappeared back onto the sofa. Jay yawned again, trying through sticky eyelids to watch the movie. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice grumbled that it was awfully stupid falling asleep when they didn't know how to prevent Lloyd from saying the spell. He was about to have a serious mental discussion with this voice, but then he fell asleep and the discussion never happened.


	80. Nobody Expects the Lloydfish Inquisition

**. . . Or this chapter, I reckon!**

 **Hey fellas. I figured I'd post a random Friday chapter, for a bunch of reasons.**

 **One of them: just wanted to clear up some confusion, 'specially for guest reviewers. The author's note that used to be at the end of the last chapter was directed at the ninja, not at you guys. I thought I could get away without directly addressing the ninja, since I'd started the note by talking to Nya, but I guess not. Sorry about that. ^_^''**

 **Anyways. The regular update next Tuesday is still happening! I'll have to start a faster posting schedule eventually anyway. Get more of these chapters churned out before school starts.**

* * *

 **Kairocksrainbow: I'm all for it! They need teh cuddlez. Hmmm, worried about Kai and Lloyd?  
Thanks for the review!**

 **Anonymous7: Yeah, things'll really get fun if and when Kai realizes** ** _why_** **Lloyd wanted to banish him. :/  
Thiiiiiis story is getting too long. Truly. XD But thanks! And yeah, I'd say we're definitely at least halfway through. Lengthwise, anyway. I really hope I don't reach 160 chapters. XD As to action/plot-wise, hopefully that's more than half done too! Hopefully I can start being more efficient about making important plot things happen, dang me. :P**

 **TheAmberShadow: They better figure something out! Can't afford this kid going evil.  
I hear that some people just feel proud when they hear their work being read out loud. But I don't know who or where those people are. XD  
That's a good way of putting it. XD Hmm, I don't know Zane's! But I bet they have something to do with PIXAL. :3  
Hehe . . . then I hope you have a fourth-wall-breaking sledgehammer handy . . . **

**Jens: It's probably a good idea to make things less tense, yeah, but at least while writing it I felt a little awkward. After something like that happened, it felt kinda odd for them to just sit around and chat about fluffy secrets instead of doing something concrete about Lloyd's condition.  
Kai's got his annoying moments, but he knows when to buckle down and admit he's screwed up.  
Ah, heh. I was toying with the idea of having Cole secretly be married (long story), but I threw that one out eventually.  
Well, in this case Chekhov was a writer guy. He invented this writing rule called "Chekhov's gun": if you mention in Act 1 of the play that there's a gun on the table, somebody better be firing that gun in Act 2. In general, if you mention it, it better be important to the story. So since Nya kept bringing up Aura Seafoam . . .  
Heh, no, not green, sorry. I was thinking of the "Confession Bear" meme, since the last chapter had a lot of confessions. ^_^''  
He'd have to be pretty dead inside not to appreciate a Zane hug. But when you put it that way, he _is_ pretty dead inside . . . :S  
Sensei's secrets? Oh, he probably has too many to count. XD**

 **Kendra: Great! ^_^  
Fanfic writing within a fanfic . . . It's the fanfic Inception! XP  
All the darkest secrets. XD Thanks for the review!**

 **Anonymous .exe: Heh, really? Was that an actual non-fiction book, or sci-fi or something? I don't think I'd like the idea of being barcoded too much m'self. ^_^'' Especially if it was for ID purposes or something** — **the Technician "access" barcodes are plenty creepy enough for me already. :)  
Cool idea! But unfortunately, "clean" magic like a plant-growing spell can't really crowd out dark magic. There isn't really "good" magic that opposes "dark" magic. The best you can get is neutral. So you have to get your positivity and niceness from somewhere other than magic.**

 **Zaptrap: Yep. Lloydfish are not fun when injured. :(  
It was a little long, yeah! I've done ones about this long before, but not often.  
Ohhh, I less than three Voltron Legendary Defender! Teh awesomez. ^_^**

* * *

 **Oct 4**

 **2:12 AM**

 **Status conditions: Jay lightly wounded, Kai with broken wrist, Lloyd in questionable condition**

* * *

Jay awoke at some point and couldn't figure out where he was. Eventually he realized he'd fallen asleep under the arm of the sofa. The TV was still flickering and mumbling to itself, but he could hear the others snoring or breathing slowly in sleep.

Yawning, he wriggled out from under the sofa arm, looking for the remote. He sat up to look for it on the sofa, thinking everyone was asleep, but suddenly found himself looking Lloyd in the eye. He jumped, startled. Then he mentally smacked himself. Lloyd was gonna think he was scared of him or something.

"Why're you up?" he whispered, trying to sound casual. Lloyd popped out his mouthguard and shrugged.

"Just am."

"You look sleepy . . . "

"Hm." Lloyd carefully untangled himself from Zane, who was keeping an arm wrapped around him. Standing up, he headed to the kitchen. Jay yawned again, tracked down the remote, and shut off the TV.

Scooping up Mopp, he headed to the kitchen as well to put the alien back in the water. He found Lloyd there, gingerly sipping at a large mug of something. He was wearing an odd expression.

"Lloyd, what are you—ohh frick, that's not coffee, is it? Stop that!"

"I need to stay awake." The mug was still almost full to the brim, but Lloyd's hands were already twitching. "I have to."

"Are you nuts? You can't just not sleep forever!"

"I will if I have to."

"You will _die_."

Lloyd didn't say anything. Jay let out a long sigh and went to plop Mopp into the sink. Then he stepped over to Lloyd. Peering into the mug, he wrinkled his nose.

"Ew. Lloyd, you do know you're not supposed to put the grounds _in_ the coffee?"

Lloyd gave him a blank look. Shaking his head, Jay placed one hand on Lloyd's shoulder and with the other hand gently pried the coffee mug out of Lloyd's grip.

"No more, li'l buddy. You're already hyped."

Lloyd shrank from his touch a little. Jay bit his lip as he put the coffee mug aside. What was he supposed to do? Lloyd probably thought he was nervous being here with him. And he _was_ nervous—but only nervous he'd do something wrong. He was all too familiar with the flash of hurt in someone's eyes after his blabbering mouth said something it shouldn't. Now that he'd caught a glimpse of how fragile Lloyd was, he'd never forgive himself if he hurt him even more.

"Hello?" Zane appeared in the doorway, blinking sleepily. Jay tried not to sigh in relief. With two people here he would have less opportunities to screw the situation up.

"Your heartrate is elevated," said Zane, frowning.

"D-don't scan me." Lloyd drew back.

"Sorry." Zane also took a step back. There was an awkward silence.

"Well, I . . . guess you're not sleeping," said Jay at last. "What do you say we go out for a night ride?"

It was a short dragon flight to the Samurai X cave. Lloyd didn't even try to summon his dragon; he just rode behind Zane.

"This'll be good," said Jay as they unlocked the Empress. "Nighttime is the best for power outages, but the Technicians might notice if all the outages were before our bedtimes. A couple of outages in the early AM will really confuse 'em."

Lloyd nodded silently, climbing into the open back of the Empress. Zane obviously wasn't an option to drive, so Jay hopped behind the wheel.

"Hey Lloyd, toss us a tape," he said. "We need backing."

"Which one do you want?" Lloyd rummaged listlessly through the hatbox.

"Random, random." Jay took the proffered tape and twirled it corner-down on his finger. "You know, we're gonna need a system to spice this up. Let's say, random tape every time. Put the tape aside after use. _No_ switching tapes, no matter how terrible they are."

"Some of these are really terrible," said Lloyd. Jay grinned.

"I know."

To his delight, Lloyd gave a small smile.

"You sure you wanna risk getting stuck with the collected works of Frank the Fire Truck?"

"Ah, I like a little gambling." Jay flicked open the tape box. "I'll push my luck that Cole will be driving at the time."

Lloyd snorted. Jay set up the tape, which turned out to be folk music.

"Eghhhhhh." He grimaced. "Well, could be worse."

They set out for the city at a cruise, the _vwoooom, vwooooom, vwoooom_ of the generator sounding hollow in the desert night. Jay attempted to sing along with the folk music, in exaggerated meowing tones. As they neared the outskirts of the city, he picked up speed until the music cut off and Zane passed out.

"Straight down Main Street," he said, tightening his hands on the wheel. "Quick hook down O'Sullivan."

They whooshed into the city, generator whining. Jay's eyes grew wide as streetlights and neon signs winked out in front of them, leading the way with a wave of sudden darkness. It was incredible to watch.

He was so enthralled that he almost forgot to turn into O'Sullivan Avenue. At the last moment he yanked on the wheel, dragging the Empress into a two-wheeled turn without dropping speed at all. The lights continued to snuff out before them until they were back outside the city, weaving between rock formations. Jay slowed down, and Zane slowly began to stir.

"That was awesome," said the blue ninja at last.

"I wish Zane could have seen it," said Lloyd.

Jay glanced back at him, heartened. Lloyd was at least alert and interested, looking back with unsettled fascination at the darkened patches of city behind them. Also still twitching from the caffeine.

"So it worked?" Zane rubbed one eye.

"Beautifully. We're in the clear."

"So are we going home?" asked Lloyd.

"Hmmm . . . " Jay squinted at a spot of light up ahead—a familiar gas station. "Nah. Not just yet."

* * *

The gas station had a 24-hour mini-mart. Zane offered to go in and fetch some snacks. Lloyd asked for an energy drink, at which Zane gave him a dubious look but didn't refuse.

Jay and Lloyd sat in silence after the Nindroid left. It started to rain gently, speckling the windshield with sparkling droplets. Jay had forgotten to be awkward. He was happily lost in thought, picturing the wave of darkness that had trailed them through the city. It was too freakin' cinematic.

"Jay?" said Lloyd suddenly.

"Uh?" The blue ninja started out of his thoughts. "Oh. What's up?"

Lloyd was leaning in from the back, his elbows resting on the front seat divider. He searched for words a moment, clearly uncomfortable.

"What . . . what do I do about Kai?"

"Huh?" Jay's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yeah." Lloyd fiddled with the sleeve of his gi. "I . . . How do I even start?"

Jay shifted uneasily. What was this, Bring All Your Problems to Jay Day? He was pretty sure he wasn't the best qualified person to give advice.

"I, uh . . . I think you should just talk to him," he said slowly. The pattering rain wove between his words. "You know, sort of patch things up? He's . . . I don't think he's too mad."

He wondered if he should bring up that Kai blamed _himself_ more than he did Lloyd. But maybe that wasn't something Kai wanted known? Arrrgh.

Meanwhile Lloyd gave him a disbelieving look.

"Not too mad? I tried to _kill_ him. I was—was trying to send him to the Cursed Realm. Over a stupid argument." His eyes dropped to his hands. "What if I hurt him again? What if I hurt someone else?"

"We're gonna stop you wayyyy before we have a chance to find that out, buddy."

"But what if it's already too late? This has been going on forever." Lloyd's fingers dug into the faded vinyl of the seat divider, his shoulders twitching faintly from the last traces of caffeine. "I'm _turning evil._ M-maybe I'm evil already. How do we know I'm not?"

Jay took a deep breath, searching for presence of mind.

"Well . . . what makes you think you're turning evil?"

He prayed it was something he could easily shoot down.

"Uh, this evening doesn't suggest anything to you?"

Jay shrugged.

"Not really. I mean, it's definitely not a good thing that you tried to kill Kai, but honestly speaking we try to kill each other all the time. Cole got hypnotized by a Hypnobrai once and turned against us. Nya got possessed by Dark Matter. Heck, we all did for a while there." He shuddered slightly—that was not a good memory.

"But that's not—"

"Hey, hey." Jay interrupted. "Didn't I hear something about Kai trying to kill _you_ with Chen's staff, back on that island? And you barely even brought it up afterwards."

"That was different," said Lloyd. "It wasn't his fault."

"And it's yours how?"

"With him it was just because he was holding the staff. With me, the spell is _part_ of me now. It's changing the way I act every day. You know what I was doing that night we thought Zane was dead?"

"Uhh—"

"Breaking windows."

"Ohh." Jay cringed. He _knew_ Kai was being too optimistic about where Lloyd had disappeared to! "Uhh . . . what windows, exactly?"

"The old factory north of town," said Lloyd, his chin on his hands.

"Oh." Jay relaxed. "Geez! You had me going for a second. The factory's not so bad, it's been abandoned forever. Heck, I didn't know it even had whole windows left to break."

"Still." Lloyd sank lower over the seat divider. "It's not a good sign. There's been a whole lot of not-good signs."

Jay studied him uneasily. He knew the symptoms of self-pity _all_ too well, thank you very much, and he knew that sitting around contemplating his own horribleness wasn't going to do Lloyd any good. Best to nip it in the bud.

"Hmm, bad signs like what?" he said, keeping his tone casual. "We're gonna need specific symptoms here. Have you been experiencing glowing red eyes? Compulsion to build unnecessarily complicated death traps? Episodes of maniacal cackling?"

Lloyd gave him the "are you _serious?_ " look.

"So you did some semi-vandal stuff," said Jay. "Got caught up in an evil spell, _which_ we are going to shut down, allow me to point out. Nothing this team hasn't handled before."

"But I've been acting different," said Lloyd. "I noticed it just as much as you guys, you know. I've been way too moody lately. I get angry over nothing. I stay angry too long. I was lying about the spell and my dragon. I've gotten way more reckless, way more stubborn, I say stuff I don't mean. And you know, the past few days, the aliens suddenly started avoiding me. They _know_."

"Huh." Jay looked out into the rainy night, mulling this over. "So you're basically Kai."

Lloyd looked at him blankly.

"Hey, dabble in drug dealing and run around constantly telling everyone you're the greatest, and you might even get to his level." Jay gave him a lopsided smile. "Because we all know Kai is like the final boss of evil. Amirite?"

"I . . . " Lloyd still seemed stuck on that first part. Jay rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"You can stop beating yourself up. There's people who are like this all the time. Heck, for the longest time we thought you were just getting to _that_ stage of teenager. And I mean, I know we teens are scary, but not _that_ scary. So relax, okay? We're still cool."

"You're not mad about last evening?" said Lloyd softly.

"A little freaked, but not mad. Not unless you plan to do it again."

"Or the Slither Pit?"

"Same."

A moment of silence.

"How about that the nightmares are my fault?"

"Wh-what?!"

"I just now realized that. It makes sense. Kai says the dark language is really scary to listen to, I'm reciting it every night, triggering dark magic—no wonder everyone is getting bad dreams. You know how Nya's always had less nightmares? That makes sense too. Because she's not in our room."

Now Jay was the one startled into silence. Holy cow. _Lloyd_. Behind all _that._ All the times he'd woken up panicked, breath locked in his throat. All the gory visions he couldn't shake in the morning, all the nights he wished he didn't have to fall asleep. That one dream with the—

Yipes. Admittedly it was hard not to be a little sore about that one.

But after a second he looked at Lloyd and saw him waiting for an answer. He seemed to be auditioning for World's Most Unconvincing I'm-Not-Worried Face. Mostly he just looked terrified. Geez. Did he really think this one extra thing would suddenly get him kicked off the team?

"Nah." Jay sighed, giving him a tired smile. "Still cool."

"You . . . sure?"

"Uh, _yeah_." Jay whapped his forehead gently. "Do we look like the kind of team who gives up on people? Really? We have a long history of kicking people out or something? Get with the program, pal."

Lloyd gave a hesitant chuckle.

"And for the record, I'm willing to bet some money I don't have that the others aren't super-mad either," said Jay, leaning back against the seat divider and propping his feet against the door.

"Except Kai." Lloyd grimaced.

"Nah, nah." Jay shook his head. "Just talk to him, okay? Tell him you're sorry, and, just . . . it'll be fine. Trust me. Okay?"

Lloyd hesitated, then gave him a small, grateful smile.

The rain turned from a drizzle to a steady pour. Zane came back with lukewarm hot dogs and some drinks, including the requested energy drink for Lloyd. They all used the seat divider as a table. Lloyd took careful sips of the caffeine-laced fizz, monitoring how many it took to get his hands jittering again.

"You cannot keep this up forever." Zane watched him with concern.

"I'll k-keep it up as long as I need to," said Lloyd grimly.

Jay munched his hot dog in silence. He hoped he'd handled that conversation all right. Doing two hard things right in twenty-four hours would have to be some kind of record.

Something cold struck his scalp. Starting, he turned to look up at the corner of the windshield. A silvery pouch of water gathered at the seam between the glass and the roof. A drop broke away and plopped onto Jay's nose.

"Great." He sighed. "The roof leaks."

* * *

That morning the others awoke a little stiff and disoriented. There was a lot of dismay once they got the drift that Lloyd hadn't slept at all last night.

"That is _not_ the solution, Lloyd," said Cole, as the green ninja sat sullenly guarding a mug of coffee. "The spell is supposed to get stronger when you're angry, right? How cranky does an all-nighter make a person?!"

"I'll be o-okay." Lloyd pulled the mug a little closer. As the others ate breakfast, Jay filled them in on last night's run with the Empress. Nya was ironically glad to hear that the car at least worked, but Jay was much more sanguine, enthusiastically describing how cool everything was. He left out the part about the leaky roof.

"Okay, so we'll do the warehouse run tonight," said Cole. "Nya, you said you'd found a good place?"

"Yeah, there's a stretch of road that has a whole ton of different warehouses alongside it. We can knock them all out in one go, and there's even room to park the lemon demon nearby while we search them."

"Empress," corrected Jay.

"Empress of the lemons."

"Nooooooo. Stop."

Lloyd, listening idly to the others' planning, reached to pull Mopp across the table so he could pet him. He didn't even get a chance to touch Mopp before the alien gave a sharp yelp and shied away. Lloyd yanked his hand back, while Mopp bunched himself up and growled.

"Mopp!" Jay broke off his tiff with Nya, aghast. Lloyd tentatively edged his hand closer again, at which the pitch of Mopp's growl rose slightly.

"Mopp, no!" said Jay. "Come on, you know Lloyd's okay!" He gave the younger ninja an apologetic look.

"It's fine," said Lloyd, waving a hand. Mopp pulled himself across the table to be closer to Jay, still growling under his breath and eyeing Lloyd suspiciously. Jay shook his head reproachfully at the alien.

"It's fine," said Lloyd again. " _I'm_ fine. Stop worrying guys, I'm okay now. All set for training."

"Actually, about that." Kai cleared his throat and looked to Sensei Wu. "Permission to skip training today, Sensei?"

"Yes, I was going to bring that up. It might be better if you wait for your wrist to set a bit—"

"No, it's not that," said Kai. He reddened, realizing he'd interrupted. "I-I mean—I just thought today would be a good day to return those crutches the Serpentine loaned me, back when my ankle was sprained. And I thought while I was going down there, we could go find Eycho's brother like we promised."

Sensei Wu blinked. He looked between Kai and Lloyd. Lloyd was looking at his cereal, silent, but Kai met the Sensei's gaze levelly, hopefully.

"Lloyd, would you want to go?" said Wu.

"Yes please," said Lloyd quietly.

Wu looked at Kai again. The Sensei seemed to be asking something with his eyes, and he must have gotten a decent answer, because after a moment he nodded.

"Very well. You are both excused for the day, once you complete your usual chores."

Jay found Kai as he did the breakfast dishes.

"You're an idiot," he said.

"What?" Kai gave him a depressed look. "Come on. I said I needed to think of something."

"And the first thing you thought of was 'hey, let's remind the kid of that one really traumatic thing where a guy died horrifically while we also thought Zane was dead.' Yeah, that'll calm him right down!"

"Ugh." Kai's shoulders slumped. "I hadn't thought of it that way . . . I thought it might make him feel better to have closure, you know?"

"By seeing how the news devastates Eycho's brother?"

"Arrrrrrgh." Kai pulled a hand down his face. "Okay. I'm bad at this."

"You're horrible." Jay folded his arms.

"Well . . . Lloyd agreed to it . . . " Kai sighed. "Now what do I do?"

He looked pretty lost. Jay relented. He did realize he should be giving Kai more credit, being so eager to make things right when they really weren't all his fault. Honestly he wasn't sure he'd be this big about it himself.

"Hey, how about Skales Junior?" he said. "You can go visit him, then find an excuse for Lloyd to stay there while you go find Eycho's brother. You can still talk on the way there and back, and stuff."

"Yeah, that could work." Kai looked tired already. "That was the other main reason—so I'd have a chance to . . . you know, sort of talk with him alone a little."

"That's more like it," said Jay. "There. You can salvage the situation."

"I hope so," mumbled Kai.

Jay looked him over. He was so subdued, so humble; patiently figuring out how to handle dishes with his casted wrist. Nothing like the Kai they were all used to. He probably still thought Lloyd wanted him gone. Without thinking Jay leaned in and wrapped his arms around him.

"What?" Kai looked up. "Jay, I seriously don't get you some—" He broke off. Then he put down the plate he was washing and half-turned to return the hug.

"Thanks. I . . . didn't know I needed that," he mumbled, pulling away.

"You're gonna do fine." Jay shook him lightly. "Relax. You're a great brother. You're always good at knowing what to say. You probably know Lloyd better than any of us, he trusted you with the whole curse secret, right? You've got this." He almost added that Lloyd was more than ready for a reconciliation, but stopped himself. He didn't know for _sure_ how Lloyd was going to react, and he didn't want to get Kai's hopes up.

Meanwhile Kai chuckled and gave Jay a light "oh, go on" shove.

"I can't do fine if I never get out of the kitchen. Lemme finish these dishes."

"I'll take over," offered Jay.

"No way. I need to show this stupid cast who's boss."

"Fiiiine." Jay shook his head. "At least let me dry."


	81. U Mad?

**somerandomguy: Heh, fair point. Well, Kai is the one who screws stuff up the most often, any way you slice it. He's a hot mess. And Jay is the one who we're "following" most often in this story, so we get to see the most scenes of him and Kai sorting stuff out. The others are definitely helping Kai too, but we don't get to see their point of view as much.** **  
Thanks for the review! Glad you're enjoying. And yes, it's definitely getting less light! It's gonna be dark towards the end. Very dark.**

 **anonymouse: I'm glad you think so! I always worry I have too much narrative. ^_^**

 **TheAmberShadow: Well thanks! Hmm, no hammer? Well, how about six packs of gum and a box of dryer sheets? I'm told that also works wonders on fourth walls. ;P  
Yeah, it may not be his fault, but that never stopped anyone from feeling guilty. He's got an overactive conscience.  
You never know! Strange things, elemental sicknesses.  
Hopefully not too wrong! Even I'm getting tired of these poor ninja-beans being miserable. XD**

 **Kairocksrainbow: MOAR CUDDLES. YESH. :3  
Ooh, Jay's gonna appreciate the nickname Bluetooth. Very tech.**

 **Jens: Heh, thanks! Well, better not give your age (not safe on the interwubs), but for the record Jay's 17. At least here. ^_^'' And yep, he's one of the more emotional ninja himself, so he's good for talking about feels and stuff.  
It's kind of like you had a piece of paper with a bright colorful pattern on it, and then you took a large paintbrush and swiped black ink across it. :3  
Thanks, you're very sweet. ^_^  
Heh, a green teddy bear, you mean? For some reason when you mentioned a green bear I just thought of the Gummy Bear song. XD  
As far as I've planned, he honestly doesn't have one. He lives a boring life. :P But now I'm kinda tempted to go through with it after all . . .**

 **Kendra: Maybe it's National Bring All Your Problems AND a Doughnut to Jay Day! :D Now I want doughnuts . . .  
Thanks!  
No, we just sell lemonade, but it's cold and it's fresh and it's all homemade. Can I get you a glass? :3**

 **Fire Oreo: No worries! Take your time. ^_^ Yeah, it mostly is his father. Plus the spell is dark magic; just saying it does nasty things to you.  
You're onto something there! There's also something else that needs to happen for Meep to transform, but we haven't gotten there yet. :3  
Haha, I don't think the scene was anything TOO scandalous. It was more likely to be some gruesome interstellar surgery scene than hot romance, this being Nya. :P  
Honestly as far as I've planned, I don't have a secret for Cole. ^_^'' Think I should go through with the old one?  
Hehe, you're not wrong. Zane's hard to write, man. XD  
Thanks!**

 **Anonymous7: Cool. ^_^ Yeah, certainly not consciously.  
It's always complicated when stuff like this happens in a family. Here's this person you thought you knew inside and out, and suddenly it turns out you didn't know them at all. Been there.  
Thanks muchly!**

 **Zaptrap: Thanks! Yeah, the update schedule might get a little erratic from here onwards. Definitely always on Tuesdays, but maybe some random extra days too. :)**

 **KikaKatTOI: Urge . . . to quote . . . Dr. Saunders . . . _so strong right now_**

* * *

 **Oct 4**

 **12: 49 PM**

 **Status conditions: Jay lightly wounded, Kai with broken wrist, and I'm not making any definitive statements on anyone else**

* * *

The trip to the snake kingdom was awkward. Kai and Lloyd left the Empress parked in a city garage, ready for a run in the evening. They didn't talk to each other, but it was a less sullen silence than the one before. Lloyd quietly helped out with the crutches, which were difficult for Kai to carry down the ladder into the sewers—especially since one wrist was casted and his fingers weren't quite fully mobile.

When they got into the artificial sunlight of the snake kingdom, everyone mostly ignored them. There seemed to be an odd tension all around, but Lloyd assumed he was just imagining it because of the silence between him and Kai. He kept trying to think of something to say, but he couldn't. He didn't dare try to act normal. He didn't want to start any drama. There seemed to be no way out, and he was already starting to regret that he'd agreed to come along. This was going to be miserable.

When they went to the medical supply cave to return the crutches, nobody answered their knock. Kai scratched his head, then glanced to Lloyd and shrugged. They sat down on either side of the door, leaning back against the cavern wall to wait.

It was silent for a while more. Lloyd didn't look Kai's way, but every now and then he could hear the red ninja draw in his breath oddly. It took a while for him to realize that this was the "about to say something difficult" breath. Never made it fully to words, though. Blimey but they were miserable.

Eventually Kai pulled out his phone and began to write a text to someone. Lloyd's own phone buzzed in his pocket. Relieved at a distraction from all this angst, he pulled it out and checked the screen.

 _Are you still mad?_

Lloyd registered a double-take. He looked to his right, and yes, Kai did have his own phone, and he was very pointedly looking away. Waiting. Lloyd looked between him and the text message a few times. Now that he thought about it, he _still_ couldn't force words off his tongue, but . . .

He took another look at the text message. Guilt twisted at his inside. Clamping his tongue between his teeth, he started to type.

 _Are you kidding me? You didn't do anything wrong. I should be asking you._

He didn't look up after sending the message, scared to see Kai's reaction. He could hear him typing.

 _So you're not mad?_

His heart melted. What did he ever do to deserve this kind of friend?

 _Kai, seriously_. He fired off a text and kept typing furiously, sentence by sentence. _What do I have to be mad about? You're the one with a broken wrist. You're the one who nearly got Cursed._

He was typing more, but suddenly a voice sounded right above his head.

"Hey, what're you doing here?"

Lloyd and Kai both jumped and looked up. Somewhere in the back of his mind Lloyd realized with dismay that Wu would soon be rigging his dinner too, at this rate.

A Fangpyre stood over them, carrying a large black bag. Lloyd recognized her as one of Shleena's medical apprentices. She was looking oddly at them both, particularly Lloyd, who was flushed and rattled.

"Hi. We wanted to return these," said Kai, getting up and holding out the crutches. The snake looked him over, seemingly wondering if the reason for crutches was also the reason for the casted wrist, and why in the world he had a black eye.

"Thanks," she said at last. "I'll put these away."

As she unlocked the door, Lloyd studied her hurried, anxious motions, but didn't comment. He was still thrown off from the text conversation, chagrined that he'd been interrupted in the middle of it. He wanted to get out and keep typing.

"Is something going on?" Kai asked.

The apprentice nodded distractedly.

"The king and queen's egg is finally hatching."

"Oh man. Is everything okay?"

"Sssssso far." The apprentice gave them a tight smile, vanishing into the supply room. Her voice echoed from within. "It is rather late, though, and the hatchling is taking his time chipping out. It is a nationally important event, so everyone is very anxious."

"I thought things seemed tense down here," said Kai. To Lloyd's dismay, he stepped into the supply room and began to help the apprentice gather up supplies into the black bag. After a moment Lloyd bit back a frustrated sigh and began to help too.

"Skales Junior isn't too scared, is he?" asked Kai, reaching for a basin on a high shelf.

"No, I think he's staying with an aunt," said the apprentice, from deep within the bag. "Could you grab that disinfectant, please?"

Lloyd fetched the indicated bottle, trying not to look as irritated as he felt. Even as he stewed, another part of him wondered guiltily if the spell was making him this impatient. Normally he'd be the first one to lend a hand. But geez, they'd been mid-conversation, he really wanted to explain things to Kai, properly and completely. This was preventing him.

They finished loading up the bag and headed for the door.

"Say, do you know someone who could help us find a snake?" asked Kai. "We need to find a guy's brother."

The apprentice locked the door, looking as distracted as ever.

"Yes, yes. You can talk to the record keeper. He is two caves over."

"Thanks," said Kai. "Hey, best wishes for the little prince."

As soon as the apprentice scurried off, Lloyd pulled out his phone and started to type again. Before he could even send, though, a message from Kai popped up.

 _Chill._ And then a moment later, _What gives? It's usually not my job to be Mr. Personality._

Lloyd cringed. So his irritation had been showing.

 _I'm sorry,_ he typed. _We were in the middle of talking._

 _Agh, might have to wait a little longer,_ said Kai.

Sure enough, they were already at the record-keeper's cave. They talked to the record-keeper, an elderly snake with unusual spectacles. He pawed through a giant volume of names (the most recent of fourteen) and found Eycho's brother, whose name was Cobber. Apparently he lived farther back in the cavern, in a little house. Kai and Lloyd set out there in turn.

Lloyd was grateful for the long walk. A nice uninterrupted stretch of time to talk.

Or rather, type.

He already had a message from Kai: _You sure you want to do this? It's not gonna be fun._

 _No, I want to meet him,_ Lloyd wrote back.

 _You're not gonna freak out or anything? I'm not out to make things worse._

Lloyd stifled an irritated huff.

 _Relax_ he typed back. _I'm fine._

 _That's what you always say._

 _Well, I am fine!_ Lloyd typed furiously. _You don't need to worry. Nobody needs to worry. What do I need to do to convince you I'm fine?_

 _Why are you so determined to be fine?_

 _Because I am!_ Lloyd scowled at his phone. _It's no use making a big fuss when there's nothing wrong. Everyone's acting like I'm the one they should worry about. The biggest problem we have is that I might be dangerous to you guys._

Kai didn't reply. Lloyd bit his lip, worried that he'd been too harsh. He started to type another message, this one with a less vehement tone.

"Lamppost," said Kai suddenly.

"Huh?" Lloyd lifted his head, startled to hear Kai speaking out loud. He was just in time to walk into one of the sunlight lanterns.

He backpedaled, flustered. Surreptitiously he looked around to see if anyone had seen that. Nobody seemed to be around. Next he glanced to Kai, only to find him already walking on. Lloyd felt oddly chagrined. If Kai didn't even have a smile or a smart comment, things were definitely not cool between them yet. What was he supposed to do now?

"You okay?" said Kai from up ahead.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lloyd put away his phone, sighing.

They made the rest of the trip to Cobber's house in relative silence, both literal and text. Eycho's brother lived in a little hut, rather than a cave in the chamber wall. Kai looked at the building, then back to Lloyd.

"I'm _fine_ ," said Lloyd. "Let's do this."

Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice was piping _you don't know what you're getting yourself intooooo_ , because how in the world was Cobber going to react to the news? It was going to be painful. Lloyd worried he was only going to make things worse, in his current mood. But it was too late to back out now—even if only because he'd lose face, after insisting so hard that he wanted to come along.

Taking a deep breath, Kai knocked on the door. There was some shuffling around inside, but nobody answered. Kai knocked again.

"Hello? Cobber?"

After a moment the door creaked open. A slitted yellow eye peeked through.

"How do you know my name?"

"We asked the record-keeper." Kai took a step back to show he wouldn't force the matter. "It's about Eycho."

The door opened all the way, and Lloyd started at the scowl contorting the snake's face.

"I don't want to hear anything about it," he growled. "Get out of here."

"Woah, woah—we're not with the slobber trade," said Kai, holding up his hands.

"I don't care. Nothing to do with it is any of my business," snapped Cobber.

"Was," said Kai quietly, before the snake could continue. "That's what we came about. Your brother. Uhm. He . . . we saw him . . . get . . . "

As Kai stammered, realization dawned on Cobber's face. For a second his eyes went wide and Lloyd could see the pain of impact—but only for a second. Then his expression turned hard again.

"Dead?" he said tersely.

"Y-yeah." Kai lowered his gaze. "He said to tell you—"

"Save your breath." Cobber took a step back. "He's been dead to me for a long time."

The door slammed.

Lloyd blinked in shock between the door and Kai. The fire ninja hesitated, then tried to knock again. When he got no answer, he shook his head and turned away. Lloyd followed.

"He's _serious?_ " he said, disbelieving. "He doesn't care?"

"Ah, I probably should have warned you," said Kai, watching the ground. "It's pretty common. Other snakes don't like the slobber trade much. Especially Venomari, 'cos it gives them a bad name, y'know? They often kick out snakes who join the trade. Lock them out of society and everything."

"But it's his _brother!_ "

"I know. Still happens. I knew a lot of snakes whose families just completely disowned them." Kai twitched back one corner of his mouth in an attempt at a smile. "I was lucky."

Lloyd was quiet. He thought about Kai's confession only a month ago. No wonder he'd been so scared—he'd seen what happened to others who joined the trade. Try as he might, though, he couldn't imagine the team ever disowning Kai. Even for that.

"Don't worry about it," said Kai awkwardly after a moment. "We told his brother, like we promised. I'm—I'm sure he does care, he just doesn't want anyone to think he's sympathizing with the slobber trade. You know?"

"Yeah." Lloyd sank his hands into his pockets. They walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Kinda puts it all in perspective, huh?" ventured Kai. "I mean, at least we're . . . you know . . . "

"I'm sorry," said Lloyd softly. Kai looked at him silently.

"About the Slither Pit," continued Lloyd. "And the fight. And . . . last night. And everything."

Kai shrugged, sighing. When he spoke Lloyd could barely hear him.

"I wish I could bring your dad back, kiddo."

"N-no, it's not that!" Lloyd's head snapped up. "I—I wasn't trying to—"

"You were, though," said Kai. "But I get where you're coming from."

" _No_ ," said Lloyd vehemently. His breath caught at the mention of his dad. Kai watched him with a mix of sympathy and unease.

"You okay? . . . "

"G—Gimme a sec." Lloyd focused on breathing evenly. He was absolutely _not_ going to let this conversation devolve into tears. He'd been a wreck enough over the past day or two; he'd already proved that he was dangerous and untrustworthy and a liar. He was _not_ going to add "crybaby" to the list of his failures.

"Lloyd . . . "

Lloyd chose not to answer. Teeth gritted, he focused on the path ahead, willing it to stop blurring. He was going to be fine. He was going to be perfectly sober. He was going to be an adult about this.

After a while his eyes stopped burning, and it got easier to breathe. He waited for Kai to look the other way before surreptitiously brushing one sleeve under his nose. That had been too close.

"You okay?" Kai asked again, eyeing him.

"I'm—" Lloyd cleared his throat. "Fine."

Kai gave a heavy sigh.

"Well I _am!_ "

Kai shook his head silently, frustrated. Lloyd felt irritation clamp onto him as well. He was _too_ fine. Why did everyone have to insist he wasn't?

Now the silence was a little tense again. Lloyd missed texting. It had been so much easier when he could hide his tone. And backspace.

For a long time they were quiet. They were already nearing the entrance to the snake kingdom when there was a sudden squeal from nearby.

"Uncle Lloyyyyyd! Uncle Kai!"

They both looked up, brightening. Skales Junior was bounding across the grass, waving furiously.

"HAI! Why didencha say you were coming?" he cried, tackle-hugging Lloyd. "Were you gonna visit? My baby brother is hatching!"

"We heard." Lloyd found himself smiling. "And we wanted to visit, but we didn't know where to find you. Good thing you found us instead!"

"Yeah! Come meet Aunt Jessa!" Junior clambered up onto Lloyd's back without waiting for an invitation. "Wow, your hair is _really_ long now."

Aunt Jessa lived in a little house right nearby, and she urged Kai and Lloyd to stay for tea. Junior chattered at them both as they waited for the tea to brew, telling them all about the chaos associated with the egg's hatching.

"Mama and Daddy are really 'xcited," he said, helping himself to a handful of cricket tea cakes. "They say they're gonna be calm again once the egg hatches, though. They'll prolly have more time to play after that."

"I hope so," said Kai, smiling a little ironically. He knew how things went once you got a little sibling.

"And I'm not even scared!" Junior puffed up his chest. "I'm gonna be a good big brother." Still munching on the tea cakes, he eyed Kai curiously.

"Whysha arm all wrapped up?"

"Uhm. Just . . . " Kai floundered. "Stuff."

"Huh?"

"Got a . . . little banged up during training, that's all," said Kai. Lloyd fixed his eyes on the edge of the tabletop, wishing the ceiling would fall in and end him. What was he going to say if Junior found out what he'd done?

Junior tilted his head this way and that, scrutinizing the cast.

"Why're you guys acting so weird?" he asked, absent-mindedly taking another handful of tea cakes even as he squinted from ninja to ninja. "You've got somethin' under your tongue."

"What's that mean?" Kai looked up, suddenly curious. Lloyd also twitched. Natanka had said that about _him_ , hadn't she?

Junior launched into a complex and rather incoherent explanation, which only shrouded the phrase in more mystery. From the kitchenette Aunt Jessa laughed.

"It means you have a sssssecret."

"Ohhhh." Kai blinked, processing. "Wait. It was about the—" He caught Lloyd's panicked expression and stopped short. "About the, the thing. Last night. Oh my gosh. We didn't see that for weeks and she figured it out after seeing you for like _two minutes?_ What is she?!"

"Who?" Junior huffed, annoyed at all the evasion and pronouns. "Tell meeeeee!"

"A Venomari we met," said Kai.

"Was it her who broke your arm?"

"No, uh—no. Definitely not."

"Did you fall?"

"Not exactly."

"Did Uncle Cole hitcha?"

"Nah, nah."

Lloyd swallowed, feeling sick. Kai was covering for him, covering so hard. And he didn't deserve it. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't set this straight. He just hoped he didn't end up being a bad example for this kid.

"I-it was me," he said. "My fault."

"Yeah, accidentally happened while training," said Kai, giving him a sharp look. Lloyd avoided his gaze.

"What happened?" Junior's eyes grew wide. "Didja have a fight? Didja beat him up? Was it bad?"

Lloyd stewed.

"Yeah," he said at last. "Pretty bad."

Junior plunked down on the floor, awed by these intrigues. He looked from ninja to ninja as if expecting a death battle to break out any minute now.

"So it was pretty bad, huh?" He clearly wanted the gory details.

"I guess you could say that." Kai gave none of the gory details. Junior made a little disappointed noise.

The silence stretched on for a bit. Junior tilted his head, noticing how uncomfortable the two ninja were now.

"You still mad or somfin'?"

"No . . . "

"Why were you fightin'?"

"Training Junior, just training," said Kai, with just the tiniest hint of edge to his voice. From the kitchen Aunt Jessa looked up sharply, although Lloyd wasn't sure if it was at Kai's tone or Junior's prying.

"Hrrmmm." Junior looked at both ninja, fed up. "You _said_ you still love each other even when you're angry!"

"Whaa—" Kai started. "I did not—"

"Yeah you _did!_ You did say that!" Junior was indignant.

"N-not in so many words," Kai mumbled. It looked like the ceiling had a new petitioner to fall in right now.

"You _did_ say that." Kai had sunk his head into his hands, so Junior turned his scandalized gaze to Lloyd now. "Does that mean it's not true?"

Lloyd froze. For a second he stared at the snakelet blankly. The answer suddenly seemed way too complicated. He thought of what Kai had said way back in the mine tunnels. Of Cobber, not caring how or why his brother died. Even his own father and uncle. The bonds of family weren't as unbreakable as people liked to think, were they? What if the answer was no?

"Uncle Lloyd?" Junior was waiting uneasily for an answer. "Uhm?"

Lloyd started, snapping back into the real world. Before he could pull words together, Kai cut in.

"You'll have to cut him some slack," he told Junior. "He's been walking into lampposts."

Lloyd, having recovered from one loop, was immediately thrown in for another. By the time he'd processed what Kai meant, Kai had already started telling Junior about the perils of texting while walking, and then he started showing him his smartphone. For someone who didn't like kids, Kai sure knew how to distract them.

Lloyd slumped a little, both relieved and frustrated. On one hand he almost wished he could have answered properly, because it'd be a good indirect way of assuring Kai he'd never consciously intended to hurt him. On the other hand, yeesh, talk about awkward questions.

Plus he didn't know the other side of it. He didn't want to put words in Kai's mouth.

Now he _really_ wished they'd answered properly.

Still, Kai skilfully kept the conversation on other topics all throughout their visit. Jessa soon handed around the tea, and they chatted with her for quite a while, learning a lot of juicy gossip about Skales, her brother. Apparently snakes tended to have large families, and Skales was the youngest of _twenty-five_ siblings. Possibly for the first time, Lloyd felt like being the youngest of six might not be so bad.

In the end they wound up helping Jessa prepare some dinner, although they were scared that meant they'd have to actually eat it too. Raw marinated steak wasn't really their thing.

Salvation came in the form of a text from Nya. In terms as vague and pronoun-laden as possible, for security, she told Kai that it was time to get the Empress ready. Relieved, both ninja thanked Jessa, said their goodbyes, and headed for the hills.

"You be nice to your little brother, all right?" said Kai, as they said a final goodbye to Junior.

"I will!" Junior gave the ninja a stern look. "And no more fighting."

"Heh, no, none," Kai agreed.

"You never said if it was true or not," continued Junior reproachfully. "You were dishtracktin me with the phone and stuff."

"Dang." Kai grimaced. "Sharp kid."

"That's what grown-ups do when they're makin' stuff up." Junior scowled knowingly.

"Woah now, I—"

"He's not making anything up," interrupted Lloyd quietly. "It's true. Always."

Junior squinted at him, then looked to Kai for confirmation. Kai seemed to be contemplating if he should go back into Jessa's house and keep hoping for that roof collapse, but at Junior's questioning look he shrugged awkwardly and nodded.

"Okay then. Thass good," said Junior, satisfied. He glomped them both a final time and scampered back to the house.

Kai was muttering something unintelligible as they turned to leave. Lloyd caught his eye and gave a tiny sarcastic smile.

"You don't have to look so _relieved_."

"Yeah, well." Kai, still discombobulated, visibly took a second to dig up a retort. "You don't have to walk into lampposts either. And yet."

Lloyd faked a glare, caught between frustration and amusement. Kai fake-glared back, smirking, then chuckled and sank his hands into his pockets.

"Ugh. Sharp kid, though. I almost wish we could stick around to see the new one once he's hatched."

Lloyd shrugged, relieved that they were chatting casually again. Keep it to light topics. This was good.

"They probably have enough chaos going on. And they probably wouldn't want us barging in on their big moment, you know?"

"Barging in?" Kai feigned offense. "Hel _lo_ , we are very important uncles! We oughta be right near the front of the line to see him."

"Even in front of the twenty-four blood uncles and aunts?" grinned Lloyd.

"Thirty-three if you count Selma's side of the family," retorted Kai. "And we should at _least_ be in front of crazy Uncle Jooski, who tried to hypnotize a broom."

Lloyd laughed. It felt so good to be joking again. He was glad he'd managed to pull himself together back there, before meeting Junior, or they would probably both still be a miserable mess right now. There were definitely benefits to tying your feelings in a sack and drowning them.

* * *

 **A/N: Lloyd no**

 **You're doing it wrong**

 **Junior's learned to say "uncle" correctly, tho! Ey, they grow up so fast . . .**


	82. In The Distance, Sirens

**Buckle up, fellas, it's gonna be a long one!**

* * *

 **Zaptrap: Thanks for the review! Heh, gotta love some angst in the morning, eh?  
Yay, petting Lloydfish! Always a good use of your time. :3  
I like to call Kai Koi too. XD**

 **TheAmberShadow: Went pretty decently, yep! And I guess they don't know what they're going to name the little'un yet. Or how many they're going to have! Since they're the royal family, they may decide to have fewer kids so there's less squabbling for the throne once they grow up.  
Heh, focusing on snakes isn't such a bad thing! Lloyd and Kai aren't really getting anywhere major right now anyway. :P  
**

 **Kendra: He's at least doing a better job at acting happy. :S  
Nope, they name them after they hatch! With male snakelets in the royal family, the first-born is generally named after the dad, with Junior, III, IV, and so on. Females are named after the mother, in an alternating pattern of matching the beginning and end of the mother's name. So for example, Emily has daughter Emmaline, has daughter Coraline, has daughter Corina, has daughter Josefina . . .  
For Aslan! :3**

 **Ninjagorulz: Well hi there! Glad you're still enjoying. ^_^ Heh, no, I don't think I'd call it that. He's not just grouchy, he's actually becoming a bad person. Grouchiness is just a symptom of that.  
Heh, Junior is just pretty sharp. He knows when someone's changing the subject too quickly.  
Appreciated! Life is rougher than a rusty cheese grater right now, but I'm slogging on through.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Yes indeedy, he's hatching! And things are improving slightly with the two gummy bears. XD  
Awwwww, thank you for the kind words! That's high praise. ^_^**

 **Jens: They're workin' on it, yep! ^_^  
Especially snake kids; they grow three times as fast.  
Yep. Like Wu guessed, Lloyd's subconsciously wishing he could perform the same ritual he used to swap Garmadon for the Anacondrai generals. Only this time, swap himself or whoever else comes handy for Garmadon.  
Buuuuut Lloyd doesn't wanna talk about it. Not about his dad, not about the spell, not about Anacondrai, nothin'. He's a brick wall.  
Haha, no, it was actually one of the juicy bits of gossip Aunt Jessa told them. Skales' fourth-oldest brother is slightly batty. :P**

 **KikaKatTOI: Nahh. Kai can have his difficult moments, but the others love him too much to ever dream of getting rid of him. He's unswervingly loyal, the most protective of his family, an excellent older brother to Lloyd, Nya, Jay, and under some technicalities Zane, knowledgeable about their most dangerous enemy (Nash), and highly skilled with a variety of weapons and fighting styles. For starters. ^_^**

* * *

 **Oct 4**

 **6:15 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist**

* * *

When they got aboveground, evening was already approaching. They hurried to the garage with the Empress and powered up the walkie-talkie.

"Breaker breaker, do you read me?" said Kai.

"Kai, please don't talk like a trucker." You could almost hear Nya rolling her eyes. "So, I assume things went well?"

"Hm?" Kai's eyes widened for a second. "Oh, uh, yeah. We . . . found the guy, anyway. 's done."

"Huh." Lloyd could hear how curious Nya was, but she didn't ask any questions. "So, you guys ready for those warehouses?"

Lloyd raised his eyebrows, surprised at the lack of cross-examination. Nobody was even suggesting that he should be left out of the mission.

"Yeah, we're ready . . . What's the plan?"

Jay broke in this time.

"We've decided for sure it's going to be the warehouse complex in the southwest end. You know the one? Near the water treatment plant?"

"Yeah, got it," said Kai. "Hey. We won't knock out the water plant when we do this, will we?"

"Not if you stick to the plan," said Nya. "Let me give you the route."

She began to rattle off streets and instructions. Kai listened with his eyes closed, one hand sketching in front of him as if he were drawing on an invisible wall. Meanwhile Lloyd went around to the back and disconnected the license plate lights, just in case. Nya was mapping them through alleyways and quiet industrial streets, but at this time of evening there was still a chance they might meet a few people.

"You're giving me a headache, sis," grumbled Kai.

"You hush. Stick to the plan, you hear? I don't wanna hear you've sailed off taking random streets," said Nya.

"Never even crossed my mind," said Kai blandly.

"Liar." Jay snorted, rustling the mike. "Lloyd, you keep him in line, all right? We need to time this perfectly. Kai, do you have your hand?"

"Uhh, what?"

"Do not forget to bring your hand." Jay was audibly keeping a straight face. "In case we find the right warehouse and want to test our barcodes."

"Ha, ha." Kai rolled his eyes. "No, I left my hand in my other suit."

Jay gave an exaggerated gasp.

"How could you?"

"All right Jay, all right. We're done. See you in a few." Kai ended the transmission and snorted. He put the car into gear and cruised down to the designated start point, a secluded corner a few blocks away. They idled the engine, waiting for the _Bounty's_ start signal. Lloyd's heart was already thumping a little with adrenaline. He snuck a cautious glance at Kai, wondering if he was excited too.

If he was, he didn't show it. He was leaning back with his knees resting against the steering wheel.

"'ey, we need to put on some music," he said.

"Oh, right." Lloyd fished blindly into the hatbox and popped in a tape. It turned out to be the soundtrack to some very obscure (and rightfully so) musical. Kai made a face.

"Next tape."

"Sorry, can't." Lloyd spread his hands. "Random tape, no switching. That's the system."

"Does _everything_ have to have rules?"

Lloyd chuckled at the martyred look Kai gave him.

"Relax. We won't have to listen to this for long."

"I hope not." Kai cringed as the leading lady hit a particularly unnecessary note. "I might get violent."

Lloyd twitched involuntarily. He knew Kai was joking, but the wording made him nervous. They were just sitting here in a parked car, after all. No one else around. Plenty of reasons for Kai to contemplate vengeance. He quickly pushed the thought away, telling himself it was ridiculous, but he couldn't help feeling a little on-edge now. Shaking his head, he tried hard to think of something else.

"So, uh . . . think we'll find the right warehouse tonight?" he ventured.

"Eh, that'd be too easy." Kai sighed, thumping his head back against the headrest.

"Ah." Lloyd twitched one foot awkwardly. Mercifully, Kai kept talking.

"Honestly we're kinda gambling that there even _is_ a warehouse. And that the tattoos actually do access it. We _better_ be on the right track, though. I went to enough trouble for this stupid thing." He tugged off his glove and waggled his tattooed hand.

"Can I . . . uh, can I see it?" Lloyd offered a cautious smile. "I never got a good look."

"Not much to look at." Kai held up his palm, then jokingly moved it too close to Lloyd's eyes, forcing him to lean back. He smiled back wryly as he put his glove back on. "You didn't miss much."

"I-it wasn't that." Lloyd reddened. "I mean, I was pretty sure whatever the Technicians wanted with a tattoo parlor would be bad. But I thought I could get a tattoo of my own while I was there, you know?"

"Heh. Like this?"

Kai tugged aside the collar of his shirt, bringing it down to his arm. Right at the curve of his shoulder was a dark patch of ink.

"I _knew_ it," said Lloyd, breaking into a grin.

"Don't tell Nya. I'm serious. I've even sworn _Jay_ to secrecy."

Nodding, Lloyd examined the tattoo. It was a tiny flame symbol (of course) with three small parallel lines underneath it.

"What are those?" he asked. "Are you actually The Third, or something?"

"No. These are everyone I have to avenge."

"Snap."

"Uh-huh." Kai tapped at each of the lines in turn. "Pug. Eycho. The third line is kind of a combo of nearly-Zane, that truck driver, and maybe Natanka. I hope not Natanka." He studied the tattoo grimly. "I'm also hoping I don't need to add any more lines."

"Man." Lloyd sighed enviously. "See, this is why I wanted to go in there."

"What, and get a tattoo? Your mom would kill you. And then she'd kill _me_."

"I guess." Lloyd sat back, resigned. "Still. I got in trouble anyway, I wish I had something permanent to show for it."

"You probably have a page in the Slither Pit records," said Kai drily.

"Anonymously," said Lloyd, equally drily.

"So I should hope." Kai's tone could have killed a cactus. He pulled back one corner of his mouth, sizing Lloyd up. "Say. What was your fight name, anyway? Hairball of Doom?"

"Real funny."

"No, but seriously, what was it? They made you pick one, right?"

"Ah, yeah . . . Back in Darkley's they made us come up with our future supervillain names, so I just went with that."

"Holy crow." Kai snorted. "And that would be?"

"Ahh, I was seven years old when I came up with it . . . "

"Which is why I've gotta hear this. Spit it out."

Lloyd sighed.

"Fine. Blood Splasher, okay?"

" . . . You know, I was expecting something stupid and cute."

"By Darkley's standards, that _was_ stupid and cute."

Kai muttered something, and Lloyd was about to say "what was that?", but suddenly Jay's voice cut in through the walkie-talkie.

"We're in position, guys! Go!"

"Aw right!" Kai sat up and turned up the music. The generator kicked into action, eagerly singing _vwoooOOOoom, vwoooOOOoom, vwoooOOOOoom_ as they began to speed up _._ Lloyd gripped the door handle with anticipation.

They arced through the city, chasing a wave of darkness. As they whizzed past a long stretch of giant low-slung buildings, floodlights and streetlights winked out around them.

"This is _wicked!_ " said Kai, grinning from ear to ear.

"Turn here, turn here!" Lloyd waved frantically.

"All right, all right, all right!" Kai yanked the wheel around. They looped through a few backstreets and returned to the warehouse sector. Kai skidded the Empress into hiding behind a shed, and he and Lloyd hopped out.

"There's the _Bounty!_ " said Kai, pointing. High above, a glowing red spot hovered against the dark sky. "Oh man, and there's the guys!"

A couple of dark figures were free-falling from the sky. Lloyd caught his breath at the speed they fell. He'd never seen it from a distance. It looked really dangerous.

The ground was getting extremely close for them. Lloyd's insides clenched tighter and tighter. They were going to—

—No, nope, wait. At the last moment, three glowing dragons bloomed in the dark, wings spread to slow their riders' descent. They must have purposely been waiting for the last moment, so they wouldn't be seen from a distance. All of them landed safely inside the warehouse park.

Lloyd hadn't even finished his sigh of relief when Kai suddenly grabbed him. Lloyd gave a startled yelp as Kai wrapped him in a tight grip, yanked him off his feet—a whirl of red light, and gravity seemed to flip—and then suddenly they were over the barbed-wire fence, inside the compound. Kai disintegrated his dragon and let Lloyd go.

"Gimme a warning next time!" sputtered Lloyd, stumbling.

"Yeah, because you'd totally have not raised a fuss," said Kai, already heading to join the others. Lloyd followed, irked. Kai had a point. Even though his own dragon might not even be working and he'd certainly be reluctant for Kai to see its decrepit state, he'd probably have put up a fight for the sake of his pride.

The others hurried over to join them, breathless.

"Hey, nice job! It's dark as Cole's heart out here," said Jay, then ducked Cole's swipe at his head.

"Woah, nobody said this was gonna be a costume party," said Kai, looking around. Nobody was wearing ninja gear—they were all dressed in the oddest of civilian clothes. Jay was wearing his ridiculous purple robes from Yang's Tavern.

"Disguises!" Jay tossed two bundles of clothes at Kai and Lloyd. "Just in case."

"Awesome." Kai slipped on a ragged jacket, popping up the hood. Meanwhile Lloyd admired the others' disguises, stopping at Nya's. She'd done her hair up in twin ponytails. It wasn't nearly long enough to do this properly, but she forced the matter.

"Wow, sis." Kai laughed. "You—"

"Ah, ah!" Nya held up a hand. "Let me guess. This is either about me needing a dye job and a baseball bat, or about belonging in a music video for 'Hey Mickey'."

"Heh." Kai grinned. "Both true, but actually, I was just gonna say you looked pretty cute."

"Awww." Nya smiled.

"I knowwwwwww, doesn't she?" Jay sounded like he'd been presented with a basket of glitter-coated anime kittens. "I can't get over it."

"You two are definitely not going on the same search team," said Cole.

"Aw, no fair!"

"We're not even _having_ search teams, so."

Lloyd laughed softly at the others' banter. He loved how far from the center of attention he was right now. The others really did trust him to be all right, even after the insanity of last night, and he was determined to make their faith in him worthwhile.

"Come on guys, let's get to work," said Nya, laughing as well. "The power's only gonna be out for an hour or two, and simpler devices turn on sooner. We have over twenty warehouses to cover in that amount of time."

"Let's do this," said Kai.

"Remember, check for refrigeration units, sealed doorways, fan banks—anything that suggests the inside is being kept cold," said Nya. "Send a text if you find anything promising. Also text when you're done searching. Remember to keep them coded. We'll regroup here."

There was a chorus of "got it"s.

"Good luck." Cole held up a hand. "Put 'em up!"

They all stuck their hands into the center of the circle, then swung them up with a soft cheer of "Ninjaaaa, go!" Everyone was grinning, eyes bright with excitement.

They scattered through the dark, merging with the shadows. Lloyd scrambled up onto a warehouse roof and perched at the edge in what Jay called "the superhero crouch." He squinted across the park, watching the others' movements. You wouldn't see them if you didn't know where to look. Stealthy forms slipped from warehouse to shed, shed to shipping crate, working in a smoothly coordinated formation, aware enough of each others' movements to avoid both overlap and omission.

He flicked his glance over his own set of warehouses. He hadn't mentioned anything to the others—he would get sidelined so fast he'd get whiplash—but the spell made it hard to focus sometimes. It was like having a song stuck in your head, but always being somewhere you couldn't sing. Every now and then it would just pop into the back of his mind, nagging to be spoken. It had been doing that more and more lately.

Now, though, he wasn't thinking about the spell at all. The dark whispering voices were shoved far to the back of his mind, creating room for him to scan his surroundings. Despite the sleepless night, he felt alert and ready for anything. Every little sound seemed louder, every scuffle in the dark more obvious.

Slipping down the side of the wall, he dashed for the next warehouse.

Some distance away, Jay skimmed among the shadows, alert. They may have knocked out the power, but this park was doubtless _crawling_ with night watchmen. They were probably distracted by the power outage, but no sense giving them anything else to worry about. Ninja were considerate like that.

The fourth warehouse he checked had giant metal boxes fastened out back. Refrigerators. Jay crept closer, checking if the doorways had any special security setup. Like a barcode scanner, for instance.

From several feet away he heard a muffled _yip yip, arroo!_ Recognizing the check-in bark, he replied quickly. Within seconds Kai came loping over.

"Worst. Planning. Ever," he groaned. "Guess what else died along with all the lights around here? My phone!"

"Oooooh." Jay grimaced. "Hadn't thought of that."

"Yeah. I'm gonna have to stick with you from now on," said Kai. "I hope Lloyd finds someone to team up with."

"Well for now, we've got this!" said Jay.

They crept up to the warehouse door, peering at the handle and doorframe. Jay examined the metal keypad under the doorknob.

"It just looks like a regular security measure," said Kai.

"Hmmm, but how do we know the scanner isn't _inside?_ " whispered Jay. "Maybe it's like the third layer of security! Or maybe you have to enter a code just to reveal the scanner!"

"Oh, well that's just—" Kai suddenly froze, his eyes going wide. In the silence Jay heard approaching footsteps.

Without a second's hesitation both ninja hurled themselves away from the door, spidering right up the wall. Jay clung to the siding, holding his breath, as a night watchman walked below them, grumbling oaths. He seemed ticked that everything from his flashlight to his walkie-talkie had suddenly quit on him.

Jay heard a soft grunt from Kai, barely audible. He looked up and started when he realized Kai could only support himself with one hand, since the other was casted. Hastily Jay reached over and pushed against Kai's shoulder, helping him stay close to the wall.

Down below, the guard tried to enter a security code on the keypad, only to find _that_ was dead too. Cursing up a storm, the watchman headed off somewhere. Probably to look for a working phone so he could call his boss.

"Hey, that means all the alarms are off too!" whispered Jay. He and Kai dropped back down to the door. Jay wriggled a judicious bolt of electricity into it, and the lock whirred open.

"Gotta love modern technology," he grinned over his shoulder. "Can't do this with an old manual lock."

He and Kai slipped indoors, pushing through a curtain of heavy plastic strips keeping the cold inside. The place was full of boxed fruit.

"Nope," said Kai. "Next warehouse."

They didn't find any more promising locations, not until the very end. One warehouse had a bank of fans. The doors didn't have electric keypads this time, so they climbed up the back and pulled a vent flap out of the wall. Kai poked his head in, holding up a handful of flame.

"Just furniture," he said, disappointed.

They dropped back to the ground, and Jay pulled out his phone, about to text the others that they were done. He already had texts from Zane and Nya reporting the same, although it looked more like a conversation about a late-night taco run. They had a pretty good code worked out.

On the way back they met Cole.

"No luck," he said.

"Us too." Jay sighed. He looked up at the sound of distant barking. "Hey, someone's signaling."

They listened for a moment. The barking seemed to be drawing closer.

"Uhh, guys?" said Jay. "There is _one_ other security measure that doesn't go down when the electricity does . . . "

Kai and Cole looked at each other.

"Uh-oh."

A dark four-legged form suddenly burst around the corner of the nearest warehouse. It was a Doberman Pinscher, but to Jay it looked about the size of a horse. It bounded towards them, barking madly.

"Go go go!" yelped Kai. They took off at a run, the dog close on their heels. Jay yelped as hot, sharp teeth snapped closed right by his leg. It had to be the one that had just healed, too.

"Hey! Have some'a this!" shouted Cole, throwing something. The dog skidded, then veered, sniffing at the object Cole had thrown. As the ninja hurled themselves up the side of a warehouse, they could hear slobbery munching sounds down below.

"What was that?" asked Kai, once they were all clinging to the edge of the warehouse roof.

"I had a pack of peanut-butter crackers in my pocket," said Cole breathlessly.

"Ahh, yes." Jay kicked his feet, trying to clamber onto the roof. "Important Life Lesson #564: You are not as tasty as a pack of crackers."

"Honestly I'm not sure how I feel about that," said Kai.

They climbed onto the roof and pattered carefully across to the opposite side of the warehouse, hoping they could get a head start on the dog.

"Remember, don't use Spinjitzu!" said Cole. "A guard might see us."

"Aww man, we've gotta outrun Pinchy on foot?!"

"No other choice. I don't have any more crackers."

The three of them leaped down from the edge of the warehouse, rolled, and ran. Behind them "Pinchy" caught onto the trick and set out after them, yapping.

"We're almost there!" said Jay, as they neared the rendezvous point.

"Quick, up here!" shouted a familiar voice. Zane stood atop a shipping crate, waving his arms.

Just as the ninja scrambled up to join him, a new disaster began: in the distance police sirens began wailing, and flashing blue-and-red lights glinted among the buildings.

"Snap, they know we're here!" wailed Jay. "Where's Nya and Lloyd?!"

"There!" cried Kai, pointing. Two small figures were tearing towards them, pursued by two more dogs. Meanwhile the police were already skidding up to the complex gates, which a security guard was already pulling open.

"They're coming in here, whaddawedo, whaddawedo?!" yelped Jay.

Lloyd and Nya scrambled up next to them, Nya missing the corner of her jacket. They all hustled onto the roof of an adjacent warehouse just as a police car came growling by, lights flashing.

"They're spreading out! They're sure to find us any minute now!" said Jay, as the dogs continued to circle and yap below.

"I have an idea. Quickly, to the other side of the warehouse!" Zane took off across the roof. The others followed. To their consternation, Zane jumped right over the edge and waved for the others to follow him onto the ground.

"Zane!" hissed Jay as they joined him. "What are you—"

Without warning the deafening wail of a police siren sprang right into their midst. Everyone jumped and looked around frantically, only to realize that the sound was coming from _Zane._

"Ohhh, I get it!" shouted Kai, holding his ears. "They'll think we're another police car and won't come here!"

"To the gates! While they're still open!" hollered Cole.

They set off at a run, Zane still cycling through an assortment of siren noises. They were halfway to the gates when someone shouted "Hey! There they are!"

Now they really poured on the speed. Weaving between skidding police cars and dodging dogs, they pounded out the gate and headed for the shed where Kai had parked the Empress.

"Tell me it's not locked, tell me it's not locked!" Nya shouted.

"You know I'm not that responsible, sis!"

Yanking open the trunk and both doors, they piled willy-nilly into the back. Kai slammed on the gas and skidded the car sideways around the shed, wheels screaming, before taking off into the city. Everyone was tossed and jumbled about as Kai frantically turned corners, sometimes even in places where there _weren't_ any corners. Jay was pretty sure that they spun three-sixty at least once.

"Steering, Kai, have you heard of it?!" Cole shouted, clinging to the EMP generator.

"Steering is for wimps!" Kai shouted back, grinning deliriously.

One way or another, they somehow made it out of the city without severe damage. They might've knocked over a recycling bin or two.

"I think we're safe," said Nya, once they got out onto the open highway. "Is everyone all right?"

Various dizzy affirmations. The others began to untangle themselves and get upright.

"I didn't know you could do that, Zane!" said Jay.

"It's a new feature." Zane smiled shyly. "After PIXAL got so acquainted with my sound effects speakers, we started discussing how I don't use them very much. Then we found and downloaded some sound effects we thought might be useful—including police sirens."

"Too cool," said Jay enviously. "What else ya got?"

"Fire and ambulance sirens, alarm bells, gunshots, various dog barks, various electronic sound effects, and an unconvincing explosion," said Zane. "Among others."

"Unconvincing explosion?" Jay snorted.

"Well, I just wanted an explosion," said Zane. "But it sounds rather artificial."

"Let's hear it."

"Oh, I don't know—"

"Pleeeeease?"

"C'mon, play it!"

"Do it, do it!"

"Play it, Zane!"

"Hey, kiddies, don't make me turn this car around!" Kai called jokingly over the noise, and got a smack in the head for his wit. "Heyyy, watch it, I'm drivin' here!"

Gradually the laughter and adrenaline-powered chaos wound down. Lloyd flopped back against the thrumming EMP generator, suddenly drained. An enormous yawn snuck up from his lungs. He was approaching forty-eight hours without sleep.

"Hoooo boy." Cole yawned as well. "So, one warehouse park down, a bunch more to go."

"I just hope nobody noticed there were six of us," said Kai.

"With five guys and a girl," agreed Nya.

"One of whom can mysteriously play siren noises," said Zane, rubbing his head.

"But not unconvincing explosions," said Jay, smacking his arm playfully. "We're gonna have to keep a tight eye on the news tomorrow. Maybe think up a good alibi."

"So, what now?" asked Cole. "Do we head home?"

"You guys go," said Kai. "It's not worth it for me to park in the Samurai X cave. I'll make a loop through the desert and head back to the city in an hour or two, knock out the power on the southeast end this time. Keep the coppers guessing."

"Youuuuuu just wanna drive this car some more," teased Cole.

"Okay, so I do." Kai grinned. "Sue me."

"I might," said Jay. "I wanna go home."

"Give me a second," said Kai. "I'll find an emergency pull-off and stop. Then you can get out and fly back to the _Bounty_."

"Hey, why wait?" Cole popped open the trunk, letting in the roar of passing air.

"See you back at home!" he called, then bailed from the back of the car. His dragon sprang to life just in time, letting him skim over the asphalt. For a second he kept pace with the car, casting a dull golden-green glow over the interior. When Zane jumped after him, the two dragons zigzagged around each other, skirted the roadside trees, and took off into the sky, receding into glowing dots.

"Nya~?" said Jay.

"Ready." Nya laughed, scooting towards the back of the car. Jay wrapped his arms around her tightly and stood up. Before the wind and the car's motion could bowl them over, they were already airborne on Jay's dragon. It rolled once and took off after the others.

Lloyd looked up at the trunk door, bobbing fluidly in the breeze. Then he looked to Kai. The red ninja shrugged graciously.

"You can go."

Lloyd looked between him and the door again, torn. The thought of being alone in the silence with Kai was still a little awkward, despite everything. But on the other hand, he really didn't feel confident jumping out the back of a car doing forty-five.

"Ehh . . . not sure my dragon would spark," he said at last. Kai shrugged again, equally graciously.

"You can stay." He nodded towards the back. "Only, close the hatch."

Lloyd pulled the trunk door shut, then clambered into the passenger seat and buckled himself in.

"Morphic Village three clicks ahead," said Kai, his eyes on the road. "Get comfortable."

Lloyd settled back. He let out a sigh, feeling the last bits of adrenaline drain away. The forty-eight hours without sleep reactivated in earnest, and he covered another yawn. He'd have to ask about stopping for coffee at some point. But first he had to figure out a way to bring it up without sounding awkward. And man, his brain was not running at full speed right now . . .

He yawned again, rubbing his eyes. As the glowing white stripes between lanes flowed under the car in an endless stream, the boom box softly wailed a depressing showtune, and the EMP generator hummed a steady _vwom-vwom-vwom-vwom_ , the villages all seemed to blend into one jumbled haze, drifting past the windshield.

* * *

Lloyd jerked awake as the car rolled to a halt on the shoulder.

"W-was I asleep?!"

"Dozing," said Kai dismissively, his eyes fixed on the dashboard. "You missed the city run."

Lloyd rubbed one eye, looking around. They seemed to be in the middle of the desert. Dark sand stretched in every direction. The Samurai X cave was nowhere in sight.

"Why'd we stop?" he asked, confused.

Kai said nothing, putting on the parking brake.

"Kai?" Lloyd found himself swallowing uneasily. Why would they stop in the middle of nowhere? Why was Kai's expression so tight? He looked almost angry.

"Everything okay?" he asked carefully. Kai shut off the music and turned to him for the first time. His expression twitched.

"What're you looking at me like that for?" he asked.

"L-looking like what?" Lloyd started inadvertently. Had his anxiety been showing on his face?

It must have been. Kai gave him a disappointed look.

"You're _scared_ to be alone with me?"

"No! Come on, no way."

"After all this, you are honestly entertaining the idea that I dragged you out here for revenge," said Kai, unmoved. "You think I'm that low."

"I'm telling you, no! Geez! I mean come on, if I'd expect anyone to be scared it's you, a-after—what I—" Lloyd faltered. "Yesterday . . . "

Kai snorted and turned away. Lloyd groaned internally. They'd been doing so well, dangit. They'd had a pretty civil day together in the snake kingdom. He'd almost been ready to believe that whole incident last night was patched up. Why'd he have to go ruin it with stupid paranoia? Kai had been so understanding after Lloyd put him in so much danger, and this was the thanks he got? He'd never forgive him now.

"Kai, come on," he ventured at last.

Silence.

"Please? I was just confused, I swear. I wasn't scared."

Still silence.

"I . . . " Lloyd sighed. "Look. I just—I know we've all been kind of pretending it wasn't really a big deal, last night. But it was. I tried to Curse you. It's . . . it's not okay, what I did. And I just . . . maybe it's the spell talking, but I can't believe you wouldn't be mad at me. You _should_ be. So I just . . . kinda . . . assume you are. It's a reflex. I'm sorry."

He waited helplessly, biting his lip. It hurt, just talking to the back of Kai's head. Why wouldn't he just _say_ something? Anything. Even something angry.

Eventually Kai gave a terse sigh. He still didn't look Lloyd's way.

"You know what, you're right. Maybe you should be scared of me."

"W-wait, what?"

"I mean, after all." Kai finally looked up, an odd smile on his face. "Great talk today, but I never actually said I forgave you, did I?"

"Uhhh—"

"And that's because I didn't."

Lloyd's insides went cold. He blinked mutely at Kai. That smile was dangerous. What had he gotten himself into?

"Hey. You're . . . joking, right?"

Kai shook his head, still smiling.

"They always say forgiveness is great and all." He clicked off his seatbelt. "But revenge is more fun!"

He half-lunged across the broad seat divider, aiming for Lloyd's throat. In the split-second before contact Lloyd was caught between two reflexes. The first was to let ninja training take over and knock Kai back; the second reflex reined in the first. Either because he couldn't bring himself to hurt Kai again, or because in some sick corner of his mind he felt like he deserved whatever he was about to get.

Luckily the second reflex turned out to be correct, because Kai was feinting anyway. Ignoring the half-block Lloyd snapped up to shield his neck, he dove for Lloyd's ribs and started to tickle him.

"H-hey!" Startled, Lloyd gave an inadvertent snort, squirming and snatching for Kai's hands. Kai evaded deftly. Sputtering, Lloyd backed into the corner between the seat and the door, trying to curl in on himself. A breathless snatch of laughter snuck past his gritted teeth, and once he started laughing he couldn't stop. Kai's smirk widened into a grin.

"I should be scared of you, huh? Ohhh, you're _real_ scary." He scribbled his fingers furiously into Lloyd's stomach, laughing himself as his little brother squealed for mercy. "Go on, tell me to be scared of you now, tough guy."

"You—should!" gasped Lloyd. Giving up on fighting Kai off, he instead started tickling him in return. Kai yelped and yanked back.

"Don't even think about it!"

"Oh, you wish!" Lloyd went in for the kill. Kai beat a hasty retreat to his own side of the car, tumbling back against the door. His elbow banged against the car's horn, which promptly emitted an agonized bleating sound more suitable to a wounded yak. It scared them both stiff.

Lloyd recovered from his shock and collapsed back into laughter. After a second Kai joined in. The small interior of the car rang with laughter for a few moments.

"I—can't—breathe," gasped Lloyd.

"Easy." Kai chuckled, wiping his eyes. "Come on. You're done."

Lloyd took a deep breath and finally managed to sober up. Sighing, he offered Kai a dizzy smile. The red ninja grinned back. They were quiet for a moment, still catching their breaths.

"Hey," said Kai at last. "I didn't really scare you, did I?"

"Only for a second." Lloyd flicked his glance away, still a little ashamed.

"Well, at least you're honest." Kai settled back and wiggled the brake pedal with one foot. "But let's get one thing straight. You know I would never hurt you on purpose, right?"

"I . . . yeah, I know." Lloyd squirmed at the warmth filling his insides. "I wouldn't hurt you either."

"'course." Kai hummed and began digging in his pockets, searching for something. Lloyd sat in contented silence for a while, fighting off the urge to yawn. That so-called doze hadn't done him any good at all.

"So . . . that's not why you stopped here though, is it?" he said at last.

"Not exactly." Kai gave him a rueful grin. "Fact is—" he turned the ignition key, and the engine made a strangled hacking sound "—we're out of gas."

"Ohh, for—" Lloyd snorted and started to laugh all over again.

"Sure, hardy har har," grumbled Kai good-naturedly, finally locating his phone. "Just wait till Nya hears this. She is gonna wring my neck. Then she'll wring the car's neck." He looked up and shook his head bemusedly as Lloyd's laughter slid into a slightly hysterical pitch. "Boyyyyy, you need some serious sleep, kid."

"I do not," insisted Lloyd, twirling a finger giddily at the ceiling. "I'm— _never_ sleepin'."

"Okay, for real, you're losing it. Get in the back. We've got a blanket in the emergency kit. It'll be a while before the others get here, get some shut-eye."

"I don't have my mouthguard." Lloyd had sobered up again, but that just meant he could better feel sleep pressing heavily against his eyeballs. It was steadily getting harder to think of anything except how heavenly it would be to curl up in a ball and sleep for days. But that wasn't a risk he could take, especially without anything to stop him from completing the spell.

"You'll be fine without it," said Kai.

Lloyd gave him a dubious look.

"Trust me. I've figured out the system," said Kai, waving a hand dismissively. "I'll explain it later. For now, sleep."

Lloyd hesitated, but by now the thought was just too tempting. Clambering into the back of the car, he fished out the blanket and lay down. He had just enough time to sigh drowsily before his eyes slid shut.

Kai called up the _Bounty_ in low tones, cringing at the smart comments he got and the future ones he would doubtless get once the others arrived with a fuel canister. He really should have been paying better attention to the gas meter—he was lucky they hadn't been stranded in the middle of the city, where Technicians could easily scope them out.

Once he was sure the others had the Empress's location, he hung up and climbed back next to Lloyd. The green ninja was in deep sleep, the blanket half-thrown over him. Kai shook his head and pulled it properly up to his shoulder, then fluffed up Lloyd's ever-growing blond mop. It ruffled far over his forehead, nearly over his eyes. Lloyd stirred and smiled in his sleep.

"Yeah, you're terrifying," said Kai, smirking. "Truly."

He settled down with his back against Lloyd's, keeping watch on the desert and waiting for the others to arrive.


	83. They Said I Could Be Anything

**'ello 'ello 'ello, guv'na! We're here for another early update . . . Heh, too bad I had to pick Fridays for the bonus day. I'm competing with at least two greats on a regular Friday schedule here.**

* * *

 **Zaptrap: Thanks for the review! Heh, sorry; maybe "bring snacks" would have been a better length warning. XD  
Hey, Lloyd was the only one who saw Kai back at that Slither Pit. He's got a genuinely scary side. Not when he's dealing with his family, though. ^_^  
Awesome, wauuu~ ;)**

 **TheAmberShadow: Heh, he mostly lost points for lack of subtlety. It's so obviously struggling to sound as scary as possible. A truly cultured villain will have a name that is elegant, restrained, yet still makes mortals' skin crawl. But that's a lot to ask of a seven-year-old. :P  
Like they say, he'd leave his own head behind if it wasn't fastened on. :B  
He made up the number. :)  
It's like a regular explosion, but played through really bad speakers. Honestly it probably sounds closer to a toilet flushing. :P  
Kai's savagery is legendary. He's not to be trifled with. ;)**

 **Kendra: Aw, thanks! Very sweet of you to say. ^_^  
I'm sure he's fun to watch. Just wait till Wu gets the idea to use him as an alarm clock. Nobody's ever sleeping late again. XD**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks for the review! Fellow homeschooler, huh? *high five* So, do you miss homeschooling, or do you like regular school better?  
Heh, thanks! And yes, the little baby snakey will show up later!  
I do like some doom and gloom now and then, but happy's always my cup of tea. ^_^ Ech, trust Kai to be nice in the most annoying way possible. :P Seriously though, Lloyd needed a reminder that he wasn't some horrible soulless monster, and Kai was happy to oblige.  
And yeah, all the ninja should have their names verbed. I know for sure I Jay regularly. :P  
Thanks for the heads-up! Appreciated. ^_^  
**

 **Jens: Hehe, thanks! Hope he doesn't start playing the Weekend Whip, that'd give them away in no time. XD  
Exactly. The kid needs a reality check before he becomes a little too convinced of his own scariness. :P  
It is by Darkley's standards. :P A professional villain would probably think, "heh, clearly a silly little kid trying to sound as scary and mean as possible." Proper villains gotta have classy names.  
Well, he can't exactly ask his parents! And yeah, Kai will be lucky if Jay manages to keep his mouth shut. XD But no, Jay doesn't have any tattoo other than his barcode. He's a good boy.**

 **Fire Oreo: Hiiiii there! Thanks for the review. ^_^  
Okay, okay, I won't marry off Cole. XD And yeah, texting is usually a pretty good bargain when it comes to this kind of stuff. Hopefully once Lloyd gets past his worst angst stages he'll be back to his old self.  
A lot. XD  
Crying would do this poor sap some good, honestly. He hasn't once since Garmadon was banished.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the fluffies. And Nya's hair. ^_^**

* * *

 **Oct 5**

 **7:55 AM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist**

* * *

Lloyd awoke in sunlight, disoriented. Where was he?

After a moment he realized he was sitting on the sofa on the _Bounty_ , and the new question became, how did he get here?

After a second he realized that Jay was flopped back next to him, half-snoring with his chin on his chest. His shoulder rubbed slightly against Lloyd's with every breath.

"Well hey, look who's up." Kai wandered into the room with a glass of orange juice. "Morning, O terrifying one."

"Oh, shut up," said Lloyd drowsily. Kai laughed and reached over the sofa back to ruffle up Lloyd's hair roughly, ignoring his sleep-fogged attempts to swat him away. Jay stirred and awoke as well, yawning.

"How did I get here?" asked Lloyd, once he'd finally pried Kai off.

"The same way everyone else does, I guess," said Kai. "I don't think you hatched."

"Stahhhhhp."

"You walked here." Jay rubbed one eye, grinning. "You don't remember? We got you onto the _Bounty_ and you opened your eyes and were talking and everything. Admittedly not the most sparkling conversation, but you seemed awake."

"I must've been sleepwalking, 'cos I don't remember a thing," mumbled Lloyd. He blinked, still groggy. "And I didn't try to say the spell?"

"Nope." Kai propped his elbows smugly on the back of the sofa. "Told you I'd figured out the system."

"How's it work?"

Jay and Kai exchanged awkward grins.

"You're not gonna like it."

"This is the safety of us and all of Ninjago we're talking about," said Lloyd. "Liking it is my last problem."

"Well, okay." Kai gave him a wry smile. "You never sleeptalk if you're sleeping next to someone."

" . . . What?"

Kai started counting off on his fingers.

"Your mom was with you that one time I was telling you about the slobber trade. On the first night in the mines you had the aliens with you. On the elevator out of the mines you were next to me. When we were trying to fix Zane you were next to me. After we got Zane back you slept next to him. All those times, you didn't wear a mouthguard, and you didn't say a word. You were next to me or Jay all last night, and you also didn't say a word."

"Oh." Lloyd rubbed his head.

"It probably keeps you from starting," said Kai, shrugging. "You feel through your sleep that someone else is there to stop you. Or something."

"Huh." Lloyd was still processing slowly. Despite the gravity of the situation Jay was tempted to laugh at the younger ninja's shifting expressions. He was clearly aware of the consequences here.

At last Lloyd looked up.

"Sooooooo, does that mean Ninjago can be safe, but I don't have to drink coffee anymore?"

"Well yeah, I guess."

"I'm good then."

Jay gave up and laughed.

"Should've known," sighed Kai, amused. "You little dweeb."

"Look who's tal—" Lloyd exclaimed indignantly as Kai dumped the last of his orange juice over his head. As Kai bolted for the kitchen, Lloyd scrambled off the sofa and promptly stumbled, nearly pitching forward. One of his feet had fallen asleep.

"Wow," he grumbled, catching his balance. After a moment he figured out a manageable limp and headed for the kitchen at a dangerous pace. Jay shook his head, chuckling to himself. Right now it was pretty easy to believe they'd have Lloyd fixed up in no time. Dark magic be darned.

* * *

Lloyd and Kai were absolutely brutal to each other all day. Jay honestly couldn't tell if they were making up for the time they'd lost while they were sulking, or if they were honestly intending to cause each other harm. It got to the point that Cole asked them if they could tone it down, because the teasing was getting too intense for the others.

And that was saying a lot, coming from Cole.

They kept the TV on, monitoring if there were any news reports about last night's warehouse fiasco. Nya combed the websites of all of Ninjago City's newspapers.

Finally, during the noon news, Cole excitedly called the others into the living room.

"It's on! They're gonna talk about last night!"

Everyone crowded in, jockeying for room on the sofa. Sensei Wu watched with interest from the back.

"Reports are coming in about a mysterious rash of vandalism, power outages, and possible thievery!" announced Gayle Gossip. "Over the past three days, Ninjago City has experienced mysterious localized power outages. Most of these incidents have been traced to cases of vandalism, targeting power lines and other electrical infrastructure."

"We're horrible people . . . " groaned Cole. The others shushed him.

"But last night, the situation escalated," intoned Gayle Gossip. "Night watchmen at this very warehouse complex reported a mysterious power outage, affecting not only standard electrical devices, but even battery-powered devices like flashlights! As the watchmen struggled to make sense of the situation, the warehouses were infiltrated by at least ten to fourteen ruffians!"

"Ten to FOURTEEN?!" A whoop of disbelief went up.

"The group of hoodlums snooped around the warehouses, doubtless trying to break in and effect a robbery," continued Gayle. "They finally fled at the arrival of police vehicles. Searches proved ineffective. Eyewitnesses describe the group of thugs as shabbily dressed—"

"Well, that's true," said Kai.

"—many of them heavyset—"

"Benefit of wearing heavy jackets," remarked Jay.

"—with at least two females."

"Wait, TWO?!" There was another mini-squall of amazement.

"Lloyd, it's you! The other one's you!"

"One of the females had double ponytails—"

"Your hair's finally gotten THAT long!"

"—While the other wore some sort of purple dress."

"Wait, purple dress?!"

"It's YOU!"

"THOSE WERE PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE ROBES!" Jay hollered over the others' laughter. What with all the uproar they missed some of the newscast, but it was mostly just Gayle telling viewers where to call if they spotted any of the suspects. From the back of the room Sensei Wu shook his head wearily. Barely noon, and he already had a headache. It was going to be one of _those_ days.

"Shhhh, guys, shhh! Shut up!" Nya finally insisted. They quieted down to hear the end of the newscast.

"In the meantime, Ninjago is left to wonder: Who were these mysterious thugs? Are they causing the power outages, or only using them for their looting benefit? Does any of this have to do with the electronics thefts and the mysterious "Technicians"? And most importantly—will our faithful ninja rise to the occasion? I'm Gayle Gossip, reporting live. Back to you, Hank."

The news switched to some story about a grocery store fire. The ninja put up a final bit of commotion, still roughhousing exuberantly.

"Ten to fourteen thugs! Thank youuuuuuu, eyewitness reports!" Jay blew an exaggerated kiss at the television. "Mwah."

"I bet it was the night watchmen," said Nya. "They didn't want to get in trouble for all that weird stuff happening last night, so they tried to spin a more exciting story."

"Aw, have a little faith in humanity," said Jay. "We were probably really confusing, running between the police cars like that. And it was really dark! It's amazing they got as much as they did."

"Well, either way, at least we don't have to worry about anyone figuring out it was us," said Cole. "The only thing we have to worry about now is—"

Abruptly the _Bounty'_ s phone rang.

"That," sighed Cole.

The rest of the day was spent wrangling the media. The landline was ringing off the hook, emails were pouring in, and a few particularly intrepid reporters somehow got hold of the ninjas' _cell_ numbers. Which made Nya angry, because she suspected someone had been careless about keeping to their "private network." Everyone denied sending any external messages, though.

Cole and Zane, the best at keeping straight faces, went down to be interviewed. They did a truly admirable job—most of the stuff they told the reporters was actually _true_. Yes, they definitely had a strong suspicion these power outages were connected to the Technicians. (If you counted that they were an effort to take the Technicians down.) Sure, they were gonna find these thugs and put a stop to the outages. (Once they found the dang warehouse they were looking for.)

"I'm taking you in, pal!" announced Cole, once he and Zane returned to the ship. "You warehouse looter. I promised to arrest you."

"Noooo, free me! I was framed!" protested Jay.

"Shush, you. You have the right to remain silent," said Cole.

"Settle down, all of you," said Wu. "Misako should be arriving soon, and I'm sure she has a great deal on her mind."

"W-wait, you told my mom?" Lloyd looked dismayed.

"Was this something you planned to hide from her?" said Wu.

"No, no! I just . . . I didn't know so soon . . . " mumbled Lloyd. "She's gonna freak out."

"No more than she needs to," said Wu. "Your mother is a self-possessed woman."

Still, once Misako arrived, the others tactfully disappeared, giving her and Lloyd some space.

"Mom, I'm fine," Lloyd assured, for at least the tenth time. "It was just a fluke. Kind of a low point, y'know? I'm doing way better now."

"Are you sure?" Misako kept her firm grip on his shoulders.

"Well . . . I haven't looked at my dragon lately . . . "

They checked. Lloyd had a little difficulty summoning his dragon, but once he pulled it up it stayed strong.

"Hey," said Cole. "That's still a lot of black scales."

Jay had to agree. The dragon was looking much healthier in general—the wound in its neck had healed, and it stood firmly upright with bright, clear eyes—but there were still giant patches of rotting scales all along its sides. Actually it almost seemed like there were more of them now.

"Gosh, I don't know." Lloyd studied his mount, bemused. "I guess we can't really expect it to heal overnight, right?"

The dragon shied away, making an alarmed woofing sound, as Misako reached up to feel one of the patches of dark flaking scales.

"N-no, sorry," said Lloyd, smiling down at her apologetically.

"Do they hurt?" asked Cole, reaching for a black patch himself. He yanked his hand back again as the dragon outright snapped at him. "Geez, Lloyd!"

"I'm not controlling it." Lloyd recalled his dragon, landing on his feet. He brushed off dissolving black scales, looking a little miffed. "Just—I'm sure they'll go away. Soon. No worries. I'm good to go."

"I still wish I'd known about this sooner," sighed Misako.

"Sorry, Mom." Lloyd sighed as well. "I didn't want you to worry." He looked up at Misako, who was definitely worrying now. His expression softened.

"Hey, Mom, relax. I'm gonna be okay, I swear." He took her gently by both hands. "Say, you know what, how about dinner? Anywhere you like. Just us. We can talk a little, we'll sort everything out."

He watched his mother's face, coaxing with his eyes. Misako composed herself and squeezed his hands, offering a thin smile.

"That sounds wonderful."

"And I promise I won't roll my eyes no matter what awkward questions you ask," added Lloyd. Misako chuckled and wrapped her arms around him.

"This kid," said Jay under his breath, jabbing a finger in mock judgment. "Just lookit him, would you?"

"Disgusting," agreed Cole, straight-faced. "That spell's completely wasted on him. Five weeks of dark magic and he's still the sweetest little dweeb ever to roam Ninjago."

* * *

Lloyd going out to dinner with Misako actually served as a good alibi.

"I know this is supposed to be a sorta private, peaceful night," said Nya, scribbling down the action plan. "But if you could attract just a _teeny_ bit of attention, that would be awesome. Then somewhere between 8 and 9, we'll give you a call about the power outage and you can make a big deal about rushing off to stop the looting. Sound good?"

"Sure."

"I'll lurk around the police station," said Kai. "Chat up the cops, ask them if they've seen any tattooed hands, maybe slow them down a little if someone sics them on you guys."

"Right. But you make a big deal about catching the looters too," said Nya. "Zane, you're staying on the _Bounty_ to coordinate all the teams, 'kay? That way we don't have to worry about keeping you awake while we knock out the power."

"Understood."

"Jay, Cole, and I are the strike squad," said Nya. "We've got a small warehouse park to the east of the city. There aren't any good parking spots in the area, so I'll stay with the four-wheeled disaster—"

"Empress."

"—And keep circling," said Nya. "We barely escaped last time, we need better getaway tactics. Jay, Cole, wear easy disguises. If you get detected, hide, lose the disguises, then pretend you've just arrived to take down the looters. All good?"

"You've really got this planned out," said Jay admiringly.

"That's my job." Nya handed around index cards with everyone's instructions, just in case. "Let's go."

As they split in their respective directions, Kai pulled Lloyd aside.

"Hey. The black scales—"

"It's nothing," said Lloyd immediately. Kai gave him a _must you interrupt?_ look, and Lloyd grinned sheepishly.

"Well, they're not because of me, are they?" resumed Kai. He gave an awkward shrug. "I, well—you know. If I've been too rough with ya or anything—"

"No, no! Heck no!" Lloyd waved his hands. "This is good. This is normal. Normal is good."

"Rotting scales aren't normal, kiddo."

"I don't mean the scales. Just—" Lloyd sighed. "I'm sick of everyone treating me like something's wrong."

"Something _is_ wrong."

"It . . . no it's not."

"Are you serious?"

Lloyd opened his mouth, then closed it again and gave a long sigh. For a second he shifted from foot to foot, waiting for Kai to give up and let him go. The red ninja continued to look at him expectantly.

Finally Lloyd shook his head and turned away.

"I—I've gotta get going."

He heard Kai muffling a sigh behind him.

"Well, have fun with your mom."

"Yeah, have . . . fun with the police?" Lloyd rolled his eyes at himself and disappeared.

* * *

The warehouse run was a disaster. It rained the entire time. The park was old and run-down, with most of the warehouses empty. Some of them didn't even have paving around them, so Jay and Cole had to perform insane maneuvers to check them without leaving footprints in the mud. Jay nearly fell through a roof.

Then their cell phones were still out by the time they wanted to call the others, so they had to sit around and wait a half-hour before they could make the call. Kai, Lloyd, and Zane were supposed to fly in on their dragons, but it turned out dragons absolutely did not work in the rain. Kai had to catch a ride with the police, the Empress nearly got seen when they arrived, and they all wasted more than an hour combing the neighborhood because the police wanted to catch looters who weren't there. Zane and Lloyd stumbled in towards the end, panting and worn-out after getting there on foot.

All in all, it was the worst.

"When we find these Technicians, I'm gonna knock them into next week," groaned Kai, once they finally convinced the police to quit and go home. They were piled into the back of the Empress, their damp clothing unpleasantly sticky.

"Do we have to do this again tomorrow?" said Jay plaintively, leaning against a wheel well.

Cole, jaw tight, put the Empress into gear a little more roughly than he needed to. Normally he'd be pretty excited about finally getting a chance to drive, but now he was soaked and exhausted and frustrated and tired of everyone's whining. Especially Jay's. Also the driver's seat was wet because of the leaking roof.

"Hey, slow down," said Nya. "This witchcar has bad traction."

Cole gave a muffled growl.

"Seriously Cole, we're gonna wipe out." Nya's glance flicked to the road, and her eyes went wide. "Look out for the—!"

Too late. The Empress plowed nose-first through an enormous puddle. Water gushed past all the windows, hiding the outdoors behind a flurry of white. Several of the others cried "woah!"

Then the engine died.

The car choked to a stop and skidded off the road, sinking into the muddy roadside. Cole smacked his forehead against the steering wheel with a groan.

"Ohhhhhhh, just wonderful!" wailed Jay. "Good going, dirtclod!"

"Shut up, Jay," said Cole into the steering wheel. "Shut. Up."

A bit of angry silence.

"We have to hide the car," sighed Nya.

It was a laborious process. It took them forever to drag the heavy vehicle out of the mud and shove it behind a utility shed. Nya said it would take a forever more for the engine to drain.

They couldn't wait inside the car because they'd get the interior all muddy, but they couldn't just leave it unsupervised either. They trudged to a nearby supermarket and piled under the shopping cart shack. Not like it made a ton of difference, since they were all soaked anyway, but at least they weren't being pelted with more cold droplets.

"I hate _everything_ ," said Jay, sliding down in the corner of the shack.

"I must say as well, do we have to do this again tomorrow?" agreed Zane.

Cole only gave a long sigh. For a while no one said anything. The rain drummed on the roof of the shack.

"I'm gonna see if the store is open," said Lloyd, standing up.

As he trudged off through the rain, the others looked at each other, expressions guilty.

"I forgot. We probably shouldn't be giving him extra grief right now," mumbled Cole.

"He's fine," said Kai. He shrugged at the scandalized looks he got. "You know what I mean. He's always fine."

"He did seem to blow off the bad scales a little too fast," said Cole.

"And in general, he does seem to insist upon being fine regardless of his actual condition," agreed Zane.

"I'm ready to start a drinking game." Kai settled back into the corner of the shopping cart shack, folding his arms. "Every time Lloyd says he's fine, take a drink. You'll be under the table in no time."

"You're underaged," said Cole.

"Yeah, but you get my point."

"Well, we can't nag him," said Nya. "It just makes him edgy. We'll have to keep an eye on him and hope he'll have the sense to speak up if anything else is wrong."

Lloyd eventually returned with a plastic bag.

"They were closing in fifteen minutes. I grabbed some stuff." He looked around at the others. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing," said Cole.

Lloyd squinted suspiciously, but handed around some assorted snack foods.

"How are you doing?" asked Zane carefully.

"Who, me?" Lloyd shrugged. "I'm okay."

Kai exchanged a glum look with Jay and tossed back an imaginary shot.

* * *

Once the Empress's engine finally drained, they put her away quickly and went home. A hot shower and clean bed felt even nicer than usual.

"Tired, huh little guys?" Jay sighed, scratching between Mopp's eyes. "I knowwwww, nobody plays with you anymore. I promise I'll hang out with you soon, okay?"

Mopp purred reproachfully.

"I know, I know." Jay leaned on the edge of the sink, yawning. "Poor kiddos. All the stress and evil drones, no playtime . . . Life's rough, huh?"

He tilted Meep back a little, scrutinizing the alien's eyes. He looked pretty listless. Poor critters. They probably really were depressed, considering the heavy atmosphere and lack of positive attention these days.

"Heyyyy," he said, scooping Mopp out of the water and shaking him off gently. "You can stay with me tonight. But let's go visit Lloyd first, huh?"

Meep trailed at his shoulder as he headed for the living room. Cole and Lloyd were establishing nests of blankets on the sofa, preparing for the increasingly chilly nights. Kai was leaning on the back, idly tossing their pillows onto the floor whenever they picked them up.

"Looks cozy," said Jay. "Maybe I should join you."

"Not a chance," said Cole. "Go 'way. No room."

"Oh please. The sofa fits like, five."

"Yeah, but you hug things in your sleep."

"I do _not!_ "

"Yeah you do." Cole yawned. "Anything that touches you is not going to get away until you wake up. You're like the freaking Venus flytrap of sleeping."

"Lies, lies, lies," growled Jay.

"No, he's right," said Kai.

"You wake up every morning hugging Meep, don't you?" Lloyd looked up.

"I-I—"

"And we've run experiments," said Kai. "Seriously, you grab anything we let near you. Pillows, stuffed animals, live animals, tea kettles, vacuum cleaners—you'd probably hug a potted cactus if we gave you one. But we didn't. We're nice like that."

"Also, we didn't have a potted cactus," added Cole.

"Well yeah, that too."

" _Why_ did no one tell me this?!" sputtered Jay.

"We thought you knew." Cole yawned again. "Is this a big deal or something? I wanna sleep."

"You're a liar." Jay glared, but didn't pursue the matter. He looked to Lloyd and immediately forgot his annoyance. "Heyyyyyy! How's that!"

Lloyd, grinning, was carefully stroking Meep's back. The alien seemed a tiny bit skittish, but wasn't resisting the attention.

"Well, that's more like it," said Jay. "I knew it was just a fluke."

"Aww, he's lonely," said Lloyd, scratching gently behind Meep's eyes. "We're running around all day training and driving the Empress and chasing Technicians."

"Well, if he wants to stay with you tonight, you can have him," said Jay. "I'm taking Mopp."

"Don't squeeze him too hard when you inevitably start hugging him," said Cole, from somewhere inside his blanket nest.

"Liar," retorted Jay. He took Mopp and swept off.

"Better wear your mouthguard anyway," mumbled Cole. "Just in case Kai's wrong."

"Who, me? Wrong?" Kai scoffed. "Are those even words in the same language?"

Lloyd gave a small snort of laughter and popped in the mouthguard. Meep settled comfortably on his lap, nestling into the fluffy depths of a comforter, and Lloyd petted him gratefully.

"Yayyyyy, the slime creatures from outer space like you again," said Kai, half-sarcastic. "All's right with the world."

"It's not my fault they don't like _you_ ," said Lloyd around the mouthguard. "You have to be nice to them."

"Bleh. I'd rather have some class." Kai brushed Lloyd's hair down into his eyes and headed off down the hall. "G'night, Terrifying One."

Lloyd huffed, untangling his arms from their nice warm blanket nest so he could get his hair back into order.

* * *

Cole fell asleep easily—they were used to sleeping on bare rock if they needed to, sitting up on a sofa was no problem—but woke up again in the middle of the night.

"Are you okay?" someone murmured next to him. He blinked in that direction. Lloyd was awake, the glow of his phone screen lighting up his face.

"What are you doing up?" Cole mumbled.

"My sleep patterns are a mess after the last few nights," said Lloyd. "I couldn't sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yes, geez. I was just starting to get sleepy now," sighed Lloyd. "Why are _you_ up? You just now kinda choked and woke up."

"Oh. Uh, nightmare." Cole yawned. "The usual."

"Wait, what?" Lloyd started. "You had a nightmare?"

"Yeah . . . "

"But . . . I was awake," said Lloyd. "I was here playing on my phone."

"Yeah, so?"

"I thought I was causing the nightmares. With the spell."

"Oh." Cole blinked groggily, processing. "Wow. That makes sense."

"But . . . you just now had a nightmare anyway? You're sure?" said Lloyd.

"You don't hafta sound so eager," grumbled Cole.

"S-sorry." Lloyd ducked his head sheepishly. "You, uh . . . you okay?"

"As okay as you always are," said Cole, giving him an ironic look. Lloyd huffed.

His phone screen blinked out as they sat. Meep made small sleepy fidgeting noises from somewhere inside Lloyd's blankets.

"So . . . what are your nightmares about?" asked Lloyd eventually.

"Ah, a lot of stuff," said Cole, throwing his head back. "Falling, dying. Dying of falling. You guys getting hurt . . . " He hesitated. "A . . . a lot of them still about my dad."

"Really? Me too," said Lloyd.

"Woah, really?" Cole looked up. "I thought you and your dad got along pretty well."

"Ohh." Lloyd started. "I, uh—sorry. No. I was thinking of something else."

"Oh . . . "

Lloyd shook his head hastily.

"N-never mind, this wasn't about me. So, uh—yours are . . . "

"Nothing much." Cole shrugged awkwardly. "I mean, I guess I shouldn't complain. I—"

"You at least _have_ a dad to have nightmares about, I know, I know." Lloyd waved in dismissal. "C'mon. That's not how it works. You can complain if you want to."

Cole gave him an odd look for a moment, then shook his head.

"Nah, no. I'm fine."

"But—"

"No, seriously. It's not worth talking about. I'm okay."

"I think I'm starting to see why you guys hate that . . . " muttered Lloyd.

"And I think I'm starting to see why you do it." Cole gave a rueful grin.

Lloyd huffed, settling back.

"Fine, be that way. I'm fine too."

He heard Cole snort, half amused, half irritated.

"Well, I am," he insisted, glaring.

"That's good then. It means I can go back to sleep."

"Hey—"

"G'night, Green Machine."

Lloyd weighed his options. He already regretted shutting the conversation down so hard. After a few seconds he glanced to Cole, wondering if he could broach a safer topic, sort of smooth things over. Cole seemed to already be asleep, though.

"Well, fine," muttered Lloyd, flopping back. Meep grumbled under the blankets, and Lloyd petted him absent-mindedly. Honestly, it was probably a good thing Cole had gone back to sleep. The less said, the better.

* * *

 **Silica:** Geez, the power's gone down AGAIN. This is getting weird.

 **Capslock:** I know, it was in my part of town last night.

 **Capslock:** Do you think it's the ninja? They were running around in the park in the middle of the night a few days ago, you know.

 **Silica:** Pff, no. You heard the news, it's mostly vandalism and looting. Those squeaky-clean kids aren't gonna stoop to that. Besides, I was nosing around in their phones after that big looting run that got on the news. They were out getting freaking tacos. The heroes of Ninjago.

 **Capslock:** Heh. Still.

 **Silica:** It was a real treasure hunt in there. They have some really stupid apps, and their ringtones are the absolute weirdest. One of their phones is a total mess code-wise, I think it must have blown up or something.

 **Capslock:** Well, they are ninja. Maybe they deal with explosives.

 **Silica:** And one of them used to have a ton of photos and then deleted them. I can only find traces left over, and I'm reallllllly tempted to do a deep-level sweep to dig them out. Must have been pretty fancy stuff, if you know what I mean~

 **Capslock:** Oh my gosh, Sil, nooooo. Don't do it. XD

 **Silica:** Ohhh, I wouldn't put them up in _public_ or anything. Personal use only.

 **Capslock:** Sil!

 **Silica:** I'm kidding, I'm kiddiiiiing. Yeesh.

 **Capslock:** You're in a good mood.

 **Silica:** Heh, a little. I'm actually pretty happy about the outages. I mean, it's a hassle, especially since I'm always worried it'll go down in my neighborhood next. But at least it's gonna keep the ninja busy! The katamari's started rolling already, I'm actually starting to think we can make it.

 **Capslock:** Yeah. Even Blue seems to have chilled out. He's busy looking for Mack, I guess.

 **Capslock (private):** Hey. Wait. You don't think Blue is up to anything behind our backs, do you? You don't think HE could be behind the power outages?

 **Silica (private):** #$%. I dunno. Doesn't really seem like his style, does it?

 **Capslock (private):** I don't know. I'm getting paranoid.

 **Silica (private):** Damn. Good feeling's gone.

 **Capslock (private):** I mean, I haven't heard anything from Blue lately . . . about Mack or about anything else . . . Everything is really quiet. Too quiet.

 **Silica (private):** Ughhhh. You really are the worst.


	84. So I Became a Looter

**Zaptrap: Next thing you know they'll be turning on each other outta suspicion. :P  
Heh, thanks! And the other story is "Sea of Misfortune" by TombRaiderNinja. Grand High Master of AUs and general awesomeness. :)  
Noooooo kidding?! That's awesome! Cool. :)**

 **Zoodirektor: Thank you! Nice to hear from you again. This time I'll give you a baleen whale instead of a hai. ;)  
Well, there's a bunch of different factors. There are whispered stories that back in the old days, some tribes resorted to Pythor's methods . . . But they certainly never do that now.  
The main restraining factor is the low female-to-male ratio in Serpentine society. It can range from one female per ten males to one female per _twenty-five._ Conveniently, Serpentine don't seem to be a particularly horny species. There's an oddly high number of snakes who simply aren't interested in reproducing. But then those few snakes who do start a family really get busy. It's possible that Serpentine evolved so that their "drive" only activates _after_ they've found a spouse, which prevents the males from killing each other fighting over the scarce females. With their long lifespan (and long fertility), it's better for them to wait around for the next opportunity instead of breaking their necks over every girl they see.**  
 **For the record, though, Skales' family was particularly prolific. The average number is ten or twelve kids.  
**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks for the review! They really have an uneven distribution of talking in this team. XD  
He spent most of his life not trusting anyone. Even after he became a core member of the team, he was saddled with all the heavy Green Ninja responsibilities. It's a double dose; as a kid he learned showing weakness is dangerous, and as a teen he learned that everyone depends on him to give them hope. So what are they gonna do if he's not hopeful? He can't afford to not be fine.  
Yeah, there do seem to be a lot of homeschoolers on here! I wonder if homeschoolers just have more free time, or if they like writing more.  
That's great! Glad you're enjoying it.  
Grade school through high school. ^_^**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Heh, fluffies of all kinds are my favorite to write, so I've had practice. ^_^''**

 **TheAmberShadow: Who knows! Maybe they'd want to trick the bad guys into thinking a closet was a bathroom so they wouldn't come in, or something. :P  
Eyewitness reports. Whatcha gonna do? ^_^''  
Well, at least she hasn't done it yet! Maybe she won't.  
Thanks for the review!**

 **KikaKatTOI: Sooooo . . . you're saying if a human isn't very useful, they should be disposed of? Eeeeeeyikes. o.O**

 **Kendra: No worries! Hope things are settling down for you. ^_^ Thanks for the review!  
Yeah, we will! Provided I ever get that far, at the rate this story is going. X'D But I do have the aliens' backstory all figured out and everything! Nope, they're not related to the Technicians. The Techs know nothing about 'em. :)**

 **Jens: Thanks for the review! Good catch; it'll prevent him from saying the spell, but on its own it won't cure him.  
It really was a respectable robe. At least, so Jay thinks. XD Well, if he brushed it back it would be to his shoulders by now. He usually wears it piled atop his head, but when it gets messy it's nearly shoulder-length.  
Well, Lou used to be. :/ Actually the conversation between Cole and Lloyd was originally different, I changed it at the last moment. I'll put the expanded version in "Backstage with Jay" soon. The short version is, the nightmares are bad, but they're only force of habit. Whenever he's stressed his dreams automatically go back to "I'm gonna disappoint my dad!" mode, even though he and Lou are cool now.  
It doesn't take a whole ton of trauma. Not physical violence or anything. Just having a parent who's controlling and unforgiving (*cough*Lou*coughcough*) can cause it.  
Thanks for letting me know! Aw man, but that means we might not get to talk again . . . I have to ditch FFN in a month and a half. :S Just in case this is our last exchange, take care, okay? ^_^'' Good luck with the stuff that'll be keeping you busy! **

* * *

**Oct 6**

 **8:12 AM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist**

* * *

"'ey, wake up," said Jay, knocking on Cole's head. "You are so late it's not even funny."

"I don' care," mumbled Cole, burrowing further under the blankets. After a moment he poked his head out again. "Wait. Where's Lloyd?"

"He woke up on time, duh," said Jay. "He's sparring on the deck. With Kai."

"With Kai? Good grief!" Cole was on his feet so fast the blanket flew off the sofa.

It was the first time Kai and Lloyd had sparred together since the _incident_ , and nobody had expected them to go back to combat so soon. You'd think they'd both be a little jittery about it, after what happened last time. Zane was already peeking around the door to the outside, watching the glint of weapons in the morning sun. Nya was out on the deck, training against equipment and beyond obviously eyeing the sparring pair.

They honestly didn't seem to be having any trouble. Both were using swords, slashing and parrying smoothly. Jay had been in enough battles that he was able to read when someone was fighting scared, and this wasn't it. After a few strokes Lloyd disarmed Kai and drove him back against the ship's railing. His blade jabbed for Kai's throat, stopped just short of drawing blood, and held there just long enough to verify that he'd won the match. Kai swore under his breath, grinning, as Lloyd drew back. Lloyd grinned in return and flicked his hair out of his eyes. Then he looked around and saw the others in the doorway. He raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

The others hastily scattered from the doorframe, trying to look nonchalant. They must have failed, because Kai said something quietly and Lloyd laughed. Before Jay could offer an irritated "we're standing right here, you know," Kai abruptly changed tacks, snatched Lloyd's training sword, and tossed it to Jay, hilt-first.

"Hey!" Lloyd went to get his sword back. Jay held it away and tossed it to Zane. The Nindroid looked torn for a minute, but before he could pull any wet-blanket moves like returning the sword, Cole quickly relieved him of it. They baited Lloyd around the deck for a while. Nya rolled her eyes a little, but didn't try to intervene. She could see Lloyd was laughing too, and she knew the others had a pretty good sense (for guys, anyway) of when someone minded and when they didn't. Picking on Lloyd was their way of saying they were glad he was feeling better.

Eventually Lloyd gave up chasing the sword and instead tackled Jay to the deck.

"I'm done. Gimme the sword or Jay gets it."

"Ehh." Cole thought about it, then shrugged. "Do we need Jay that much?"

Jay yelped indignantly.

"Oh, shush," said Cole. "What's Lloyd gonna do to you anyway, huh?"

"Hey, take the kid seriously," said Kai. "He's real scary."

Lloyd snorted and looked up, about to retort, but Jay took the opportunity to toss him off. Before Lloyd could recover, Cole grabbed him by one leg and hoisted him upside-down, forcing him into a handstand.

"Ohhh, let me go." Lloyd attempted half-heartedly to kick loose.

"Say please," teased Cole.

"Forget it."

Cole laughed and let him go anyway. Lloyd tumbled easily and sat up, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I get no respect," he huffed.

"Aw, give us a break." Jay, still sprawled on the deck, reached over to ruffle Lloyd's hair. "How are we supposed ta take you seriously when we all remember you being so tiny we could carry you?"

"So small," agreed Cole, plunking down next to them and offering Lloyd his sword. Lloyd made a show of snatching it back grumpily, then held it for all of three seconds before tossing it aside.

"I kinda miss those days, honestly," said Kai, joining the others on the deck. "He was an okay little brat."

"I thought you said you hated kids," said Cole.

"Well, fine, so I do. But hypothetically, you know?"

"You know, somebody ought to tell Skylor about that before she makes any commitment," said Lloyd, smirking.

"Ohhhhhh, you tell her what you want," retorted Kai. "I'm gonna—"

"Skylor!" Jay suddenly sat up straight. "That's it!"

"What's it?" asked Nya.

"We were looking for people to ask about tattooed hands, right?" said Jay. "Skylor probably gets a ton of customers! Even regulars! We can ask her!"

"Oooh, good lead!" Cole perked up. "You should call her, Kai."

"Ah." Kai flopped back onto the deck. "You call her."

"Woah, woah, what's this now?" said Cole. "Kai, not wanting to call Skyyyyylor?"

"Yep."

"Oh, for Pete's sake," said Jay. "This isn't about that whole 'putting her in danger' thing, is it?"

"Well, so what if it is." Kai scowled up at the clouds. "You saw how it is out there. We were getting sniped at a few nights ago. Nash wants our blood."

"Way to kill the mood, Kai," grumbled Nya.

"Yeah, yeah. But I've got to keep Skylor out of this mess," said Kai. "Besides, she's got her entire noodle company to run. She doesn't have time to stress out over me and my psycho rivals. So that's how it's gotta be. Don't make this any harder, 'kay?"

"Geez." Cole shook his head sympathetically. "When did you two break up? We didn't even hear about it."

"That's because we haven't, yet," said Kai. He sighed. "I should probably do that, instead of just giving her the silent treatment. Maybe I _will_ call her."

"Don't even think about it," said Lloyd.

The others turned to him, surprised at the vehemence of his tone. He looked at Kai sternly.

"You know Skylor isn't scared of danger. Remember all the stunts she pulled at Chen's Island? She was giving you a run for your money there."

"Yeah, but—"

"Ah, ah! I'm not finished!" Lloyd held up one hand. "I get that you want to keep her safe. Sure, great. And you're right about her having a lot on her mind—but honestly, you don't even know the half of it. She's barely holding herself together right now. Her noodle company's about to fold. She's running the Ninjago City location all on her own. She's got lawsuits and inspections coming in on every side. Nobody wants to eat at her place anymore. Nothing but bad news."

"Hey, how do you know—"

"And I mean, I bet she doesn't need any more bad stuff happening," continued Lloyd. "She's overworked and lonely and broke. She has no clue where her future is going. She's convinced you wouldn't want to date a 'crazy restaurant lady' anyway. But sure! Break up with her _now!_ "

He finished, scowling fiercely. There was a bit of silence. Jay held his breath, wondering how Kai would react to being told off like that.

"Wow," said Kai at last. "Okayyyyy then."

"I get what you're aiming for," said Lloyd. He was back to his usual mild tone. "But now's not the best time, you know? If you really need to keep her safe that badly, at least don't _actively_ break up with her. Wait a little."

"Okay, okay." Kai got to his feet, sighing. "I'll call her."

After all that, he ended up with an answering machine.

"She's not there?" said Lloyd.

"Nope," said Kai. "I left a message asking if she's seen any people with tattooed hands. We'll work stuff out after she calls back."

"So, if she has seen anyone, are we gonna go down there?" said Jay.

"I guess so." Kai rubbed the back of his head. "I mean . . . it _would_ be kind of nice to see her again. And if things are as bad as you say, I guess she could use some moral support."

"So you're not breaking up with her?" said Lloyd.

"Well, I won't say anything about it for now. But _not_ because of you," said Kai. "I run my own life, thanks a lot."

"Surrrrre."

"And by the way, I'd like to know why you're so interested in our relationship anyway," said Kai. He jabbed a finger at Lloyd's chest in playful warning. "You have a lot of knowledge about her situation, and I dunno where you got it. If you've been making moves on her behind my back, we're gonna have _problems_ , y'know what I mean?"

"Nahhhhh, no way!" Lloyd waved his hands. "Not like that! Come on, I'm too young for her anyway."

"I'd say so." Kai snorted, satisfied. After a moment he blinked. "Wait. You're not _that_ much younger than me. Are you saying _I'm_ too young for her?"

"Nah, nah, you guys are fine." Lloyd made a hasty exit. After a second he poked his head back through the door. " . . . I mean, if that's what you're into."

Kai made a lunge, and Lloyd vanished like the southern wind.

"Cheeky blonds," muttered Kai. "I _really_ miss when he was small enough to chase down."

* * *

They were a little jittery heading out on the warehouse run that evening. Everyone was worried that it would be just as miserable as last night, but nobody wanted to complain or sound like a whiner. So everyone did their best to be perky and optimistic and psyched.

"Who knows, it could be today," said Cole. "We might find the right warehouse."

"That's what everyone's been saying," said Jay, batting lightly at one of Meep's tentacles. He'd set aside some time today especially to play with the aliens. He'd been a little worried at first, because they seemed rather listless, but after a few minutes of attention they perked right up. He couldn't stop feeling guilty about how starved for attention the poor critters had been lately.

"Sorry guys, you're gonna have to hang with Misako or Sensei for a while again," he said, standing up. "We have to go out and do ninja stuff. This is all gonna be over soon, okay? We'll play all the time after that."

They were still testing out all the different possible scouting combinations, so that night they did the warehouse run in pairs. Jay clawed and scratched until he got paired with Nya.

He got a strange feeling of deja vu as they started their run. The warehouse complex was similar to the one last night, small and shabby—although luckily not _as_ shabby. The same thick layer of clouds hung low over the city, tinted an eerie orange by the lights. Again luckily, it wasn't actively raining.

Tonight was probably going to go better, Jay told himself. If nothing else, because he was with Nya.

They checked a couple of warehouses without incident. One of them had fans in the back and looked fairly new, but turned out to be empty. Rows of bare shelves collected dust, festooned with cobwebs. Jay shivered.

"Pretty creepy, huh?" he murmured to Nya. "Guess we should keep going."

He turned around and started when he saw Nya's face. She was standing stock-still, her eyes wide in the dark.

"Jay," she whispered. "I smell blood."

Jay's stomach lurched. He had noticed a strange metallic scent in the air, but he'd assumed it was just shelves rusting or something. He didn't have enough experience with large amounts of blood to know what it smelled like.

"You're sure?" he whispered. "What does it mean?"

"Something or somebody is hurt in here. Or something died." Nya's eyes flicked around the giant space. "It . . . it could just be some wounded animal. But whatever it is, I think we should make sure."

"No kidding," murmured Jay. As they slipped outside again, he pulled out his phone. Tonight's code was about looking for looters.

 _Hey guys_ , he texted. _I found a chunk of city with the power out. Get over here, we need to search it._

Which got the message across, clearly enough, that the others were supposed to gather.

The other two pairs arrived, expressions hopeful.

"You found the right one?" whispered Zane eagerly.

"Not really." Jay grimaced. "Just that the inside of the warehouse smells like blood."

" _What?_ "

"Yeah," whispered Nya. "It's empty, but something has definitely been bleeding in there."

"Okay, that . . . sounds like the setup to a horror movie . . . " said Cole.

"I know, right?" Jay laughed weakly.

"Well, we've got to search the place," said Kai. "And we don't have much time."

"Please don't say we have to split up!"

"Sorry."

"Okay." Jay groaned. "This _really_ sounds like the setup to a horror movie."

"Relaaax," said Kai. "You're a big tough ninja with weapons. And whatever it is, it's either injured or dead. How much trouble could it give you?"

"Oh, not much," said Jay as they crept into the warehouse. "What worries me more is the thing that injured it."

"You're real comforting, Jay," grumbled Cole.

They scattered, weapons drawn. Jay shuddered at the sheets of fluttering cobwebs hanging from the empty shelves, and the sound of rats scuttering away. These were the moments in ninja life he could really do without.

Kai was alternating between focusing intensely on his surroundings because who _knew_ what was in here, and completely ignoring his surroundings because Nya was off on the other side of the warehouse and who _knew_ what was in here.

Lloyd cruised down an aisle of rusty shelves, his heart thumping. The metallic smell was strong here. He noticed some dark smears on the floor. Oh FSM. Was that blood? It was too dark to see the color . . . he couldn't turn on an energy globe for light, he'd give himself away . . .

He followed the dark markings into an alcove, a little nook where they probably used to park forklifts or something. After a second he registered the sound of breathing. Which would've been okay, only it wasn't his own breathing. He lifted his gaze from the floor and found himself looking down the barrel of a rifle.

"Don't move," rasped a voice.

Lloyd stayed frozen in place, his hand tight around the hilt of his katana. On the other end of the gun lay a man, sprawled in the corner. He clearly couldn't even sit up straight. The end of the rifle danced as his hands shook.

"Put down the sword," he croaked. "Slowly. Quietly."

Lloyd hesitated.

"Do it," the man growled.

"And what?" said Lloyd slowly. "My friends will hear if you shoot."

"Not gonna make much difference to you by then," grunted the man.

Lloyd still held onto his katana. His heart was racing, and his brain was running on overdrive, but at the same time he felt oddly calm and in-control. The usual annoying dark sectors were chanting "Curse him! Curse him!", but he kicked that thought aside firmly. No more dark magic. Besides, people freaked out when they heard that spell. He'd just get himself shot.

He studied his opponent. Even in the dark, he could see that the man's clothes were crusted with blood. He looked starved and dehydrated. Who _was_ this? Why was he lying wounded in an empty warehouse, with a gun?

"Hey, come on," he said, holding up his free hand. "Look. Put down the gun and I won't hurt you. I swear. My friends and I can help you."

The man snorted hysterically, the muzzle of his gun bobbing.

"As if, punk. You're just here to finish the job."

"Finish the job? . . . " Lloyd blinked.

"Put down the sword!"

"You put down the gun first," said Lloyd. "Come on. If you do shoot me, my friends will come and take you down. Save yourself the beating. Give up and I won't hurt you."

"Put down the damn sword." The man's voice cracked. "Or I'll blow you into little chunks."

"Okay. Okay. Relax, don't shoot," said Lloyd. He began to slowly lower his katana to the floor, crouching so he could put it down noiselessly. Before he was completely down, though, he suddenly whipped out one hand, grabbed the gun by the muzzle, and rammed it back. The butt end cracked into the man's chin. His head snapped back, and his hands slipped loose. Lloyd crouched there for a moment, still holding the gun by the muzzle.

"Phew . . . " he muttered at last.

* * *

The others gathered by the warehouse door.

"Nothing in my sector," said Cole.

"Nothing in mine either," said Kai.

"I found a guy," said Lloyd, trotting in. "And this."

There were some muffled exclamations of amazement as the others caught sight of the rifle Lloyd was carrying gingerly. Kai gave a dismayed cry and snatched it from his hands.

"Put on the safety!" he hissed.

"Oh. Sorry." Lloyd watched as Kai locked the gun down, taking note. "You should come see the guy I took it from, though. I didn't want to move him, he's hurt pretty bad."

They hurried after Lloyd, bewildered. Now that there was no more reason for stealth, they turned on their elemental lights.

"Oh, holy cow," murmured Jay. "What happened to this guy?"

"I have no clue. He looks like he's been lying here for days," said Lloyd. "We should probably get him to a hospital."

"Do you think he's a homeless guy?" asked Cole.

"I doubt a homeless person would possess a gun," said Zane. "And it doesn't explain where he got these injuries."

"And these are unbelievable injuries," added Nya, her brow furrowed. She carefully pulled back the blood-stiffened shreds of the man's shirt. "Look at this. Giant gauges, all parallel, all over his torso. It's like . . . "

"A bite mark." Zane traced the arc of wounds with one finger. "As if he had been in the jaws of some giant animal."

Kai suddenly twitched.

"Oh."

Everyone turned to look at him, surprised at the heaviness of that one word.

"This, uh . . . " Kai gulped. "Mayyyy be the guy who shot at us. Back in the city park."

There was a chorus of equally horrified _oh_ s.

"He did say something about me finishing the job," said Lloyd thinly.

"Crud." Kai crouched down next to Nya, taking in the damage. "Yeah. This is the guy."

"You wrecked him up this bad?" said Jay, unnerved.

"I didn't realize." Conflicting emotions flitted across Kai's face as he looked at the man's state. "I mean, geez. He was trying to kill us. I did the first thing I could think of to stop him."

"You also impaled him on a branch," said Nya. "Apparently."

Kai winced.

"I didn't mean to."

"Well, talking won't help him now. Let's get him to a hospital," said Cole.

"No, we can't," said Kai.

"Are you serious? We can't just—"

"No, listen!" Kai cut in sharply. "Why do you think he's lying here in a warehouse starving to death?"

The others exchanged glances.

"He's hiding," said Kai. "His mission was to kill us, and he failed. There's no way Nash would let him live after that. If we take him to a hospital, Nash will root him out in no time, just like he did that truck driver."

"But we can't just leave him," said Cole. "But . . . if we take him home . . . "

"Then his first idea will probably be to win back favor by killing us all." Kai grimaced. "Yep."

Grim silence as the others considered their options.

"But we _can't_ just leave him," said Nya at last.

"Right." Cole tugged at his hair. "Okay. Between the hospital and the _Bounty_ , I think our place might be the lesser evil."

"I agree," said Zane. "Nash will not know he is there. We can take away all his weapons, and if necessary restrain him. There are six of us, plus Sensei and Misako. We can handle one prisoner. I think Nya and I will be able to effect proper medical treatment."

"Definitely." Nya cast a critical eye over some of the more serious injuries. "I've handled worse."

"All right, then it's settled. Looks like our warehouse run is getting cut short tonight." Cole crouched down next to the unconscious man. "Safe to move him?"

Zane did a quick scan.

"Yes. Only, be careful to avoid that stick. I do not believe it's damaged anything internal, but that could change."

Cole nodded and began to carefully work his hands underneath the injured man, lifting him into his arms. Meanwhile, Jay pulled out his phone and began to text Wu and Misako's shared phone.

 _Been searching the place with the power outage_ , he typed. _No looters, but we found this really messed-up stray dog. Kai swears it's rabid, but we're bringing it over anyway. See if we can get a little beef broth into it._

He waited, wondering if he'd been clear enough. Wu and Misako knew about the code, but would they figure out that they were coming in with a prisoner?

It took a while for the reply to arrive, since the older set didn't type as fast.

 _Gr8. Will get smthg 2 keep it in when u get here. jic. Will tell Wu_

Jay squinted for a while before figuring out the letters stood for "just in case."

"Your mom," he said, holding the phone out. Lloyd faked a grimace.

"Yeah. That's my mom."

Meanwhile Cole adjusted his hold on the man, who was now slung sidewise in his arms.

"Let's go fast," he said. "I don't know how long till he wakes up."

"Or how long before Nash finds him," muttered Jay. "Knowing our luck, he'll pop up right _now_."

"Man, he's light, though," murmured Cole. "We'll have to get some fluids into him pronto."

Kai gave a clipped sigh as he walked with the others. His gaze occasionally slid towards the injured man Cole carried, then immediately flickered away again.

"Hey, relax," murmured Lloyd, catching up to him. "We'll fix him up."

"Mm." Kai looked away. "Didn't . . . didn't realize a dragon made out of light would leave actual tooth marks. I mean, he was attacking us, I would probably do it again, I just—" He sank his hands into his pockets, shrugging helplessly. His voice dropped. "I almost killed him."

"Hey. I know the feeling." Lloyd offered him a rueful smile. "He'll be fine. And he'll be way safer with us than hiding on his own."

"I just hope _we'll_ be safe," muttered Kai. They paused by the warehouse doors as Jay and Zane scouted ahead, checking that they'd have clear passage back to the Empress.

"We can handle him," said Lloyd. "Heck. I bet he could even tell us some useful information."

"Woahhhh woah woah, no," said Kai immediately. "You stop right there. This isn't gonna be one of those happy anime cases where the bad guy sees how nice the good guys are and decides to switch sides. This guy worked for Nash. _Willingly_ , since he's a human and can't produce slobber. He tried to snipe us back there. Someone this messed-up doesn't change just because you treat him nice."

"I'm not so sure," said Lloyd. "It's worth a try."

"Lloyyyyyyd. You're gonna get yourself killed," said Kai. "Stay away from this guy, okay? Don't trust him. Don't try to make friends."

"All right, all right," said Lloyd. "I'll only see if I can get him to slip up. No friends. Just subtle interrogation."

Kai shook his head unhappily, but Lloyd's expression was firm. Finally the red ninja sighed and made an "I'll be watching you" gesture.

"You haven't met a cold man yet, kiddo. We'll see how much you get out of him."

"Yeah." Lloyd glanced at the man's hand, which had lolled off his chest when Cole resumed walking. "I guess we'll see."

He smiled slightly. Across the man's palm was a familiar barcode tattoo.

* * *

 **A/N: By the bye, Lloyd knows this much about Skylor's situation because he stopped by Chen's for lunch a few weeks back and talked with her. It was in "Backstage with Jay." ^_^''**

 **Speaking of which, I might be posting an "alternate" scene there pretty soon. I got a bunch of questions about something I changed in the previous chapter, so I'll put up the alternate longer version to explain it better.**


	85. He Needs Some Milk

**TheAmberShadow: Heh, it's hard for me to make a comparison there. I know crazy tycoons and technology thieves exist in this world, but if I saw a walking skeleton it would take a long time for me to get over that. XD  
Haha, you'd be surprised! They've found in studies that people only use that stereotypical "text speak" when they're new and uncomfortable with texting. And it takes longer for older folks to get used to anything new. So Misako is still stuck in "awkward early texter" phase. I can tell you this does happen in real life too. :P  
Thanks! And thanks for the reviews on Backstage too. Heh, I'm grouchily resigned to the whole "Cliff Gordon" thing, but given the slightest excuse to kick him out of the picture, I totally would.  
Heh, that would be something! Although he's met Silica in person a few times, so he knows she's not his girlfriend. ^_^''  
**

 **Anonymous7: You're too sweet. ^_^''  
Heh, I do actually like how the show handled Jaya in Season 7. Before that, not so much. I think Nya started to genuinely like Jay back by the end of Skybound, and it's been a pretty sweet pairing since then.  
As to within this story, they're both in love. They're not, like, _insanely_ crazy with love, but a little bit twitterpated. They like to hang out together. Cuddles and kisses. :3  
Kai and Skylor are a mess. XD They are both super-interested in each other and would love nothing more than to be a couple, but they're both worried that they make terrible romantic partners right now. Skylor is insanely busy with her failing noodle business. Kai is being pursued by a psycho snake man. So they're both like, "Man, I bet the other person wouldn't want to date a trainwreck like me anyway . . . " So that's fun. :P  
Kai's gonna see to it that nobody lets down their guard around this guy. ;)**

 **Zaptrap: "SUMMON PRINCE LOTOR." Hee hee. Maybe that's why Lloyd's growing his hair out, so he can have fabulous Lotor hair.  
It does seem to have veered a bit more into Lloyd's territory for a bit, huh? Well, it'll switch to an ensemble cast soon enough. Gradually we'll even work our way back to Jay. :P  
Thanks for the review!**

 **KikaKatTOI: Wellllll, I don't like to apply calculus to human life. And there's the whole butterfly effect thing** **. And wait, why are we having this conversation again? . . . I mean, you show up out of the blue, bashing Kai, and no matter how I reply you just keep on insisting Kai's useless and nobody would care if he was gone. I'm confused. Is this a troll attempt, or do you just really hate Kai, or . . . ?  
**

 **Jens: Yayyyy! Hi there!  
Oh dear. Ded? Should I send the reviving kittens? ;)  
Well, at least it was almost and not actually. ^_^''  
Ya, it's the new school. I've got to be very 'sponsible when I start there. Eep.  
Awwwwwwww. Thank you so much for the kind words! That means a lot. Say hi to Fire Oreo for me!**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Heh, some barcode pair out there is missing a member right now. :P  
We'll see about Skylor! Glad you liked the warehouse.**

 **Zoodirektor: Thank you! And awesome! Then how about a right whale this time? (Although thinking about it, since you're a _zoo_ director, I guess I should start thinking about land animals. XD)  
I figured that would be the next question! They do have a general sense that it would be good to get a mate, but it's kind of the same feeling we humans have about getting an education or succeeding in life. It's not really driven by any powerful primal urges. In light of that, Serpentine tend to choose their partners for emotional companionship and intellectual compatibility, not raw physical attraction. It works out fantastically; the ancient Serpentine tongue doesn't even _have_ a word for "divorce."  
I'm not sure how it is in the show! But in my headcanon, yes, they can interbreed. Nash is part Constrictai, even though he's mostly Venomari. In the days when the tribes were enemies you almost never saw interbreeding, but now that they're getting along it's becoming increasingly common.**

 **Fire Oreo: Thank you so much! I totally understand, Jens mentioned you guys were off somewhere with no Wi-Fi. :)  
Yeah, it's the new school. For now I'm saying that I'm quitting for good, because I have no idea how much free time I'll have in school, and I don't want to say that I'll come back when I might not. But if I can, then I will! I'm definitely gonna miss you too . . .  
Awwww. You trust Kai that much? Well, I'm sure he appreciates that. ^_^  
Hope you're enjoying your holiday!**

* * *

 **Oct 6**

 **9:58 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board**

* * *

"Oh my goodness," gasped Misako when the ninja returned. "What happened?"

The ninja tried to explain while they set up the cot in the hallway. Cole shifted from foot to foot, unwilling to put his charge down before they had a proper place for him. Meep circled him, churring uneasily.

"Easy, little guy. I thought you liked visi—gahhh." Jay stumbled on something squishy. Mopp screeched indignantly from underfoot.

"What are you doing out here? Geez!" Sighing, Jay scooped the alien off the floor before he got trampled and let him cling to his head. Right now he didn't have time to put him in the kitchen or even get his hoodie.

"I'll get the bandages," he said, heading off for the pantry.

"Get something to fasten him down with too, just in case," called Kai.

"Come on, we can handle this guy," said Cole. "One guy. Eight of us. We've got all the weapons. What chance does he stand?"

"Well, we'd just be fighting to keep him here," said Lloyd. "Based on how he reacted to me, he'd be fighting for his life."

"Huh. Point."

Soon they had the man laid out on the cot. Cole had just barely set him down before his eyelids fluttered.

"Oh shoot, he's waking up," said Kai. "Get ready to—"

Their prisoner was already off the cot and careening down the hall.

"Woah! Get him!"

The man dodged, stumbling, lurching from wall to wall. Somehow he always managed to just barely evade their grasp. It didn't help that they were hesitant about handling him too roughly, what with his injuries.

"Hey, woah! We're not gonna hurt you!" Cole shouted after him. Cursing, the man grabbed an umbrella from the hall corner and plowed for the kitchen.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" muttered Kai as they headed after him. The aliens were both screeching in the distance, sensing that something wasn't right.

"Don't let him get the knives!" yelped Nya.

Too late. Their captive had yanked open every drawer he came across, and was already braced in the corner brandishing a steak knife.

"Oh geez, oh come on," groaned Kai. The ninja fanned out from the doorway, figuring out how to take the guy down. Before they could make a move, Meep suddenly came roaring in from the living room.

"No!" yelled Cole. He was about to say more, but the words froze on his lips. Meep was different. He was larger, sleeker, longer, a different shape. He was also hurling himself with murderous intent at the prisoner's head.

"What's happening?!" gasped Lloyd as the man and alien went down in a whirl of blue and rust. Black ink spattered across the floor. The steak knife flashed, and Meep's screaming climbed an octave. The tangle fell apart, Meep sprawling across the floor with a sickly wet slopping noise. Clear fluid gushed from his side.

"Meep!" yelped Lloyd. From the direction of the pantry came a second scream, and Mopp came flailing out, tentacles thrashing. He had also leveled up. Meep wailed faintly from the floor, liquid still pulsing from his wound every time he moved. Cole was retching. The prisoner was scrambling for the door, dripping ink, barely standing, tripping over Mopp as the alien tangled himself around his legs with bloodthirsty fury. The ninja and Nya and Wu and Misako were trying to figure out who to jump on first. It was chaos.

"He's getting away!" cried Lloyd, looking up from Meep's side to see the prisoner kick Mopp aside and stumble for the door. Before anyone could catch up to him he was gone.

"Oh, screw him," muttered Kai. Without further comment he threw open the kitchen window and dove out. Zane and Nya, the only ones still with some presence of mind, hurried out after their escapee.

Out on the deck, the wounded man staggered, cursing with every step. He was barely walking, and he had no idea where he was going beyond the edge of this deck, but he sure as hell wasn't staying here. He could hear someone dashing out behind him. He summoned the last of his strength and began to gallop, teeth gritted, his eyes fixed on the railing at the deck's edge. Almost there. Almost there.

He snuck a glance back and grinned when he saw his pursuers were still much too far behind. When he turned back to the railing, he found himself face-to-face with a massive dragon. Its scales blazed with searing red light, glowing foam dripping from its fangs. With a strangled yelp the man threw himself back, falling onto his elbows to avoid a collision. Gasping, he scrabbled backwards, his eyes fixed on the slathering beast in front of him.

"This look familiar?" said Kai.

The dragon lunged its head forward, knocking the man further back, and roared hoarsely into his face, displaying rows of sharp teeth and a burning red throat. With a weak yelp the man seemed to crumple into himself, shielding his head with his arms as the glowing teeth snapped and flickered inches from his flesh.

Nya and Zane had time by now to lunge in and grab him by the arms. He was limp, shaking; his head lolled and his eyes drifted back.

"That's enough, Kai," said Nya sharply. "He's barely got enough blood in him to live, you don't have to scare him the rest of the way to death."

Kai recalled his dragon and landed on the deck, shrugging. Remorse was low on his list of priorities right now.

* * *

Back in the kitchen everyone was slowly recovering. Jay came stumbling out of the pantry, looking dazed, and fell to his knees at Meep's side. Mopp was crying anxiously over his brother already, nuzzling against him with small, encouraging bumps. Lloyd was trying to hold the wound closed.

"I-it's not too bad," he said shakily. "I think. It's not huge. It's just a puncture, not a slice."

"He's seen the aliens, though," said Jay. "We're hooped."

"Now we _really_ can't afford to let him escape," said Lloyd.

Meep gave a wavering " _eeeeeeeee,_ " looking up at Jay with tired eyes. The alien shuddered all over. Jay and Lloyd watched with alarm as Meep seemed to go into a convulsion, tentacles writhing. It was hard to describe how it happened; it was hard to even place a finger on _what_ happened. He just seemed to collapse, like a time-lapse of a melting snowman. Within a few seconds he was back to his normal size and shape. Jay looked around and found Mopp had reverted as well, without once breaking from his encouraging nuzzles. Turning back to Meep, he ran a thumb gently over the wound in his side. It was smaller now. Barely moist.

Giving a deep sigh of relief, Jay sat back on his feet, grimacing when he realized his hands were in a pool of ink and alien blood. At least the worst crisis seemed to be over.

"You're okay," whispered Lloyd, stroking Meep soothingly. "You're okay."

"I thought you said this guy could barely move." Cole's strained voice filtered across the kitchen.

"When I found him he couldn't." Lloyd shrugged. "Must have been adrenaline. He thought we were going to kill him."

Cole gave a disapproving groan, letting his forehead thunk to his knees. He looked pasty.

"You okay?" asked Lloyd. Cole groaned still more disapprovingly.

"Hoo boy." Jay scooted across the kitchen floor and crouched next to Cole, making a "give me" gesture. "Come on. Gimme your wrists."

Cole moved hesitantly.

"This'll help," said Jay. He turned Cole's palms up and pressed his fingers to either wrist, just below the heel of the hand. "'ere. How's that?"

Cole grunted.

"Stupid alien blood," he muttered at last, then added a couple more unintelligible things. He was clearly still queasy. And furious about it.

Kai and Zane came in, carrying the unconscious prisoner between them. Kai was muttering grouchily all the while.

"Everyone okay in here?" asked Nya, as the other two carried the man off down the hall.

"We're getting there," said Jay. "Meep's gonna be okay. I think."

Kai came back, still muttering.

"Nya, are you feeling up to bandaging this guy tonight?" he asked. "Some of his wounds re-opened."

"Yeah, I've got him," sighed Nya. "Where's Zane? I'm leaving the stick up to him."

Kai nodded in agreement, looking over the battered disarray in the kitchen. He tilted his head at Jay and Cole.

"What're you doing?"

"It's a thing for nausea," said Jay. "Learned it from Little Scouts."

"You were in Little Scouts?" said Kai.

"Well, no. But I started looking into some of the stuff they learn." Jay snuck a glance over his shoulder at Nya. "I had motivations."

"Hey, I'm 'kay now." Cole shook him off. He gave a half-nod that passed for thanks and gingerly pushed himself to his feet. "Is everyone else okay?"

"I think so," said Kai.

"Even Meep's doing better," said Lloyd. The alien sprang up from the floor, bobbing a little erratically, but still able to fly.

"Ah, ah!" Lloyd grabbed hastily at Meep's leg before he could shoot off in pursuit of the captured Technician. "Easy! You can't beat him up, okay?"

Meep growled, squirming and glaring at the door where the Technician had been taken.

"So, you were right about that transformation thing," said Cole. "Man. That was totally weird."

"Yeah." Jay rocked from his heels to his toes for a second, plucking up his courage. "Uhh, I should maybe mention—I was there when Mopp was leveling up, and . . . "

"Yeah?" The others looked at him expectantly. "What did it look like?"

"I didn't get to see it," said Jay. "He was behind me. But, uh . . . "

"Whaaaat, Jay?"

"Well, since you said I wasn't supposed to keep secrets about this." Jay shrugged, a little sulky. "Just, while he was leveling up, I suddenly felt really weird and dizzy. That's why I didn't come out after him. I was so spazzed-out I had to stop and lean on a wall for a minute."

"Great," said Kai. "Just what we need. Aliens giving off weird rays or something every time they level up. You sure your brain isn't dripping out through your ears now?"

"No more than it usually does," said Jay sardonically.

"Seriously though, Jay," said Cole. "That's kinda worrisome."

"Well . . . hey. Whatever it is, we don't have to worry about it much," said Jay. "It only happens when you're close to an alien that's leveling up. And they don't level up much at all."

"He might be doing it more now, though," said Lloyd anxiously. He was still clutching Meep, who wriggled and hissed. Mopp was flopping across the kitchen floor growling what appeared to be the theme from _Jaws_. Jay moved to stop him.

"They reallllllly don't seem to like that guy," said Lloyd. "Maybe they sense he wants to hurt us."

"I hope they're not this stressed-out like this all the time he's here, though," said Jay.

"And I hope the guy doesn't break out again and stab someone else," said Cole.

Kai sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I hope bringing this guy here at all wasn't a mistake."

* * *

They pulled another late night. Nya cleaned and bandaged their captive's wounds as best she could, then left Zane to extract the stick. He was well-suited for the job: his hands were infinitely steady, gentle, easy to sterilize. Still, the man woke up as Zane worked.

From the hallway, Jay shivered at the muffled cries of pain coming from the spare room. Misako was holding the prisoner down. She was facing the open door, and Jay could see her silvery hair glinting in the bright lights they'd lit, her expression drawn but resolute. Zane was working quickly, talking all the while in a soothing sing-song.

"Please remain calm. This shouldn't take much longer, and it will prevent you from further injury and infection. Focus on my voice, all right? I will continue speaking."

Turning away, Jay leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom. Nya was inside, washing her hands. He looked sympathetically over her tired expression, slumped shoulders. He still thought she was beautiful, even now.

"Sleepy?" he asked gently.

"A little." Nya gave him a weary smile. "I think the guy's gonna be all right, though."

"I don't know how we're gonna keep Meep and Mopp away from him," said Jay. He winced as angry squealing and battering came from the closet, where they'd temporarily quarantined the aliens.

"I can't calm them down," sighed Lloyd, also appearing in the bathroom door.

"'s okay. For now they'll just have to wear themselves out," said Nya.

Kai appeared and squeezed between Jay and Lloyd to get into the bathroom. He dropped a handful of something onto the floor, ground it to powder beneath his heel, then filled a glass of water and dumped it atop the powder.

"What're you doing?" asked Jay, bewildered.

"I went through his clothes," said Kai. "The guy's a walking pharmacy."

"He takes a lot of medicine?" Jay tilted his head. "Are you sure we should take that away from him?"

Kai looked at him for a moment, then rolled his eyes and began mopping up the powdery slop on the floor with a hand towel.

"Not medicine, poison," said Lloyd. "In case he got captured and knew he'd be interrogated."

Jay twitched, unnerved. How did Lloyd know this stuff?

"Wait. You mean he'd take it _himself?_ "

"Welcome to the real world, Jay," said Kai, although he was looking at Lloyd with a bit of surprise himself. "We're dealing with a professional here. Nash's crew doesn't take chances."

"That's . . . messed-up." Jay shuddered. "Did you get all of it?"

"Yeah, and did you check his skin?" said Lloyd. "They can sew a pill underneath it."

" _What?_ " Jay looked at him in disbelief all over again.

"Nah, he doesn't have that," said Kai. ". . . Anymore."

"Ooookay, I'm done," said Jay. "I'm gone."

He went off to try soothing the aliens again. Down the hall he could hear Zane explaining the operation of an internal combustion engine, keeping up a steady stream of patter to distract his half-conscious patient from the procedure. Somewhat nearer he heard Kai, Nya, and Lloyd discussing in low tones in the bathroom.

"You can probably give up now, Lloyd," Kai was saying. "If the guy carries poison to avoid spilling under torture, he's definitely not gonna give you any answers without it."

"I can still ask," said Lloyd. "After he's calmed down a little. Learned to trust us."

Kai rolled his eyes so hard you could nearly hear them creaking.

"I don't get you. One minute you have creepy amounts of knowledge about how the dark side operates. The next minute, _this_."

"I've seen both sides," said Lloyd. "I know messed-up stuff exists. But just because it exists, that doesn't mean good can't win." He half-smiled. "It worked on me, didn't it?"

Kai snorted, rolling his eyes again.

"We're dealing with a totally different caliber here. I say if we're gonna interrogate him, start by threatening to withhold food and water and see if that doesn't get him to talk."

"Kai!" gasped Nya.

"I'm not saying we should actually _do_ it!" Kai held up his hands. "Just give him good reason to _believe_ we will. _Before_ he gets the idea that we're a bunch of merciful saps. You can be as nice to him as you want after we've checked if we can't pry anything out of him."

"Not. A. Chance," said Nya, scowling. "I can't believe you. That guy is barely alive from dehydration, and you want to use that against him? Forget about it. We are gonna treat our prisoner like a freaking human being, thank you very much."

"Hm." Kai shook his head in pity. "Ohhhkay, but be careful, sis. He's not gonna give you the same courtesy."

"Exactly," said Nya. "That's the point. Or do you want to operate on his level?"

Kai twitched, his expression shifting. After a moment he shook his head and strode out of the bathroom.

"Some advice for your future," he said, passing Jay in the hallway. "Don't argue with my sister. You'll lose."

* * *

Zane finished the extraction and managed to tip a little saltwater down the prisoner's throat before he passed out again.

"He should be all right," the Nindroid announced. "Miraculously the stick did not damage any internal organs, even with his subsequent exertion."

"The next miracle will be if the aliens don't take him apart," sighed Nya. She and Jay had taken Meep and Mopp out of the closet and were trying in vain to calm or distract them. Kai groaned.

"Are they gonna keep screaming all night?"

"I'm . . . sure they'll settle down eventually," said Nya helplessly.

Kai groaned again. For a while they all sat there and contemplated how miserably exhausted they all were.

"Heyyyyy," said Cole suddenly. "Do you think Skylor called back?"

In the chaos they'd completely forgotten to check the answering machine. Sure enough, a message from Skylor was there.

 _Hey ninja. Long time no see!_ she chirped. _Color me intrigued. I do actually have just the customers you're looking for!_

"Oh boy!" cheered Jay.

 _Call me back as soon as you can,_ continued Skylor. _Any time before midnight is fine. I'll give you the scoop_.

"Before midnight?" Kai glanced at the clock. "Gah!"

He snatched up the receiver and started to dial.

"I hope it's not too late, we're only a few minutes short . . . " he mumbled.

"Put it on speakerphone!" insisted Lloyd.

Someone picked up on the other end of the line.

"Skylor?" Kai's eyes brightened like triple-stage lightbulbs. Jay shook his head bemusedly. The fire ninja changed attitudes faster than a mood ring could report them.

"Put it on speakerphone!" said Lloyd again, jostling Kai's arm. Kai shoved him back lightly, but complied.

"What are you doing up so late?" he asked. "We didn't call too late, did we?"

"No, you're actually perfect," said Skylor. "I just now finished up with the evening dishes."

"Oh man." Kai tilted his head. "Uhh—"

"But about those tattoos! This is really exciting!" Skylor rattled on. "I actually have a whole crew of customers who come in regularly, and they all have tattoos just like the ones you told me about. I was always really curious about them, but I never asked."

"Can we see these guys?" asked Jay eagerly. The others were exchanging excited glances.

"Sure, you can come tomorrow if you want. They've been coming in for breakfast pretty much every day since it started."

"Wait, _breakfast?_ " Cole leaned over the table. "Since when does Chen's House of Noodles serve breakfast?"

"Since a couple weeks ago," said Skylor, chuckling. "I thought it might drum up business. I'll admit the only regulars are those tattoo guys, but it does seem to be doing a little better than the afternoon shift."

"Hey, wait, hold on," said Kai. He was frowning. "Don't tell me you work during the breakfast shift too."

"Sure. Seven to ten."

"After staying up till midnight washing dishes?!"

"Eh, I catch a nap before the lunch shift starts."

Kai looked around at the others with an "are you hearing what I'm hearing?" expression. At last he turned back to the phone.

"Say, Skylor," he said. "How would you feel about getting some extra help tomorrow morning?"


	86. First World Problems

**Happy 4th of July, to those in the US! ^_^**

* * *

 **KikaKatTOI: 's fine, relax, relax. No worries, I'm not uncomfortable in the slightest; just curious. ^_^**

 **Jens: Olor; for a second there I thought you were going to say that Kai was proposing _marriage_ to Skylor. Not just yet! XD  
Oh my! Are your funerals always this interesting? XD  
That's for sure. Lloyd's an old soul in a young body . . . or was that a young soul in an old body . . . **

**Fire Oreo: Haha, well, _somebody's_ gotta sleep next to Lloyd, anyway. It's all part of my evil master plan to get Lloyd as many cuddles as possible. I am merciless. He will suffer ALL the cuddles! Mwahahaaa. :P  
I love all the dweebs too. That's why I torment them with cuddles. :3  
Yeah, they're getting along okay right now, but when Cole was a kid and constantly under pressure from his dad, it screwed with stuff in his head. :/  
Aw, thanks very much. ^_^  
He was the cutest little brat, yep. And he is indeed convincing! Half of his job as Green Ninja is to give inspiring speeches. :P  
Well, she does treat most of the team's injuries. Mostly though, it's because . . . uhh . . . 'cos she's a girl. Woman. *coughs* You know.  
**

 **Zaptrap: WAAAAAAT? Season three is in August?! HOLY COW!  
But yes indeed, they are zero-chill aliens. And man, would I ever love that. XD Thanks for the review!**

 **TheAmberShadow: Yep. They can sense the guy has violent intentions, and they don't like it.  
Can't blame you there! Kai's a little scary at times.  
It's pretty amazing she's lasted as long as she has. Those ninja are gonna give her a well-needed break, anyway!  
** **Thanks for the review!**

 **Anonymous7: Yeah, Kai is in major panic mode. He's starting to be as disaster-oriented as Jay. :P  
Heh, thanks! It comes and goes. For a few days everything's chill, and I sit there going "hoo boy, here it comes." And then there are a bunch of days that take time off the end of my life. And then the cycle restarts. :P  
Oooh, I appreciate the offer! I will be looking forward to that. :3**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Yep! Like the antelopes of the southern plains.  
Well, on the bright side, there aren't many dishes to wash. But the bright side is also the dark side, because few dishes means few customers. :/  
Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Oct 7**

 **5:45 AM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board; Meep lightly wounded**

* * *

The ninja didn't get a ton of sleep themselves that night. They had to wake up early to make arrangements for their prisoner.

"Are you _sure_ you're gonna be safe this way?" asked Cole, not for the first time.

"We are old, Cole, not weak," said Sensei Wu, wearily amused.

"But you saw what he was doing yesterday! All eight of us couldn't handle him!"

"He was functioning on the last desperate reservoirs of his strength. Now he is completely drained, and it will probably be quite a while before he can even move again. Besides, Misako and I will be able to contact you at the first hint of danger. The _Bounty_ will be floating directly above you, so even if he gets off the ship and onto the ground, you will easily be able to chase him down. Besides all of that, he is tied to the bed."

"Well . . . I guess," said Cole. "But I'd still feel better if we had a _little_ more security."

"Say, I know," said Jay. "Chorky the Glitter Drone!"

It only took a few minutes to configure the drone to send its video feed to Jay's smartphone.

"Now we can keep an eye on this guy all the time we're down at Skylor's," said Jay. "I can just park Chorky in the corner here."

"No, don't film _him_ ," said Nya. "The Technicians might be watching our phone transmissions. They'd see we have one of their crew. Film the doorway to the spare room, that way we can see if he tries to get out."

Meep and Mopp screeched angrily from the bunkroom as Jay positioned the drone. The whirring of rotors also woke their prisoner. He stirred, groaning.

"Oh great, he's up," groaned Kai. "Everyone brace."

They gathered in and around the doorway, watching cautiously. The man rocked his head from side to side, taking in his surroundings with cloudy eyes. He seemed confused, but not tense.

"Hey," said Lloyd, stepping into the room. The man started and snapped his gaze to the ninja. His eyes flickered from one to another.

"How're you doing?" asked Lloyd, fetching a cup of water.

The man continued to watch them silently.

"Okay, let's tell you the short version," said Kai, folding his arms. "You saw us in the park and tried to kill us. With two of us you nearly succeeded. Key word, 'nearly.' Knowing your boss would be ticked that you failed, you crawled off to hide. We found you, took you here, and fixed you up. Against our better judgment."

Nya twitched, but said nothing.

"So now you're up here, where Nash can't get you," said Kai. "Your injuries have been treated and we're gonna feed you. Again against our better judgment, we're not gonna torture you to learn Technician secrets. But considering how things stand, I think the _least_ you owe us is an answer to civil questions."

The man gave a hoarse, creaking laugh and told Kai some things he could do with his time. The red ninja ducked his head, irked.

"You're real effective, Kai," said Lloyd. He tapped lightly on the man's shoulder. "Can you sit up a little?"

The man eyed him dubiously. His gaze lingered on the glass of water in Lloyd's hand. After a moment he began to shift slowly, sliding his elbows back to support himself. He wasn't tied across the chest—instead his wrists were bound with a cloth "chain" that passed underneath the cot, giving him a little freedom of movement. He was able to prop up on his elbows and drink, although Lloyd had to hold the glass. After draining the glass in three glugs, the man fell back and glared around at everyone, still sullen.

"We'll look into getting you some soup or something later," said Jay. "Right now we're not sure if your insides are okay. You kind of had a stick going through you."

"No, really. I hadn't noticed."

"Wise guy." Jay grinned. "Say. What's your name?"

The man glared at him silently.

"You better tell us one," said Jay. "Or we'll pick one for you. The most horrible and disgusting name we can think of. Like Clarence."

"Heyyyyy, I had an uncle called Clarence," said Cole.

"Oh man." Jay put a hand to his heart. "You have my sympathy."

"Shut up. That was my best uncle." Cole swiped at his head.

Meanwhile the prisoner was squinting at them as if he doubted they were fully sane. He probably did.

"I guess if you won't tell us your name, you're not gonna tell us anything about that tattoo, huh?" said Loyd. He tried to ignore Kai rolling his eyes.

Around this time, Meep somehow got out of quarantine, skidded to a brief halt next to Chorky, then decided the prisoner was more evil and must be destroyed first.

"Meep no!" Jay tackled the alien from midair, then cringed, remembering he was wounded. Luckily the injury seemed to be healing already, and it no longer bled.

Meanwhile Clarence, or whatever else he was going to be called, lifted his head to gawk at the growling alien. He swore.

"I thought I was hallucinating," he muttered. "They're actual damn animals."

"Yeah, and we're so overjoyed that you've seen them," muttered Kai. "Honestly if we had any sense we'd bump you off just for that."

Nya twitched again, but still didn't say anything. She went over to help Jay drag Meep out of the room. Considering that he was hovering in midair and didn't have anything to brace against, he was surprisingly hard to move.

"You better be good, okay Clarence?" said Jay over his shoulder. "Since you've seen 'em, then yes, these are genuine certified aliens. Get on their bad side and they'll turn your brain to scrambled eggs."

"That's not the aliens, that's Jay," amended Cole. "But yeah. Stay on their good side. If nothing else they might bleed on ya."

"Clarence" glared at them bemusedly for a second, then lay back, shaking his head.

"The hell is this. Freaking nest of maniacs."

"And the public knows nothing," called Jay over his shoulder. "Hey guys, come on, we have to get going before Skylor opens. Byyyye, Clarence!"

" _Jay_." Kai stomped after the blue ninja, glaring. "Way to let him know we're leaving this place unprotected!"

"You hush, Kai." Nya joined them in the hallway. "You're horrible. Where did you learn to play Bad Cop, anyway? It was all I could do not to smack you."

"I didn't hear you complaining," said Kai.

"Well _yeah_ , not in front of him," said Nya. "We can't let him see that we disagree on how to treat him. That's dangerous."

"Huh." Kai gave her an impressed look. Nya gave him an exasperated look right back.

"Listen. You're the one who nearly killed him, don't add insult to injury. Okay?"

"I _know_ that," said Kai. "I'm not saying we should hurt him. I keep saying that. But you don't know Nash's crew like I do. They only respond to threats and curses. If we go too easy on him, he'll figure out how to worm his way into our brains, lull us into a false sense of security, and kill us all." He glanced back down the hall. "Oh great. Now Lloyd's alone with him."

"Knock it off, Kai." Cole pulled him back. "Lloyd's not stupid. None of us are. We all know to be careful around this guy, so stop thinking you're the only one who has a working brain."

Meanwhile in the spare room, Lloyd took a final look at their prisoner. He was glaring at the ceiling in sullen silence. Admittedly the hard line of his jaw and the grim light in his eye did not give the impression of a malleable man.

"Well . . . we'll come back and give you something to eat before noon," said Lloyd. "Later, uh . . . Clarence?"

A pause.

"It's Mack," grunted the man. Lloyd's eyebrows shot up, but after a second he smiled.

"Okay then. Mack. Got it."

The others were still squabbling in hushed tones as Lloyd trotted past.

"Mack," he said.

The argument paused for a moment.

"Huh?"

Lloyd, however, had already trotted smugly on.

* * *

They fluttered their dragons down to the former Master Chen's, landing on a nearby roof. As they approached the shop, they saw that the moving sign out front was frozen still, and the usual annoying music was gone. Skylor was polishing the glass in the front door. When they called to her, she peered out at them and her whole face lit up.

"Heyyyy, guys!" She opened the door and ushered them in. "How are you all?" She looked at Kai. "What happened to your arm?!"

"Ahhh . . . stuff." Kai was blushing already. "Roughhousing."

"Hooo boy." Skylor raised her eyebrows.

"I-I can still work fine." Kai was barely putting words together. You wouldn't have recognized him from the steely-eyed barking terror from less than half an hour ago. "It doesn't . . . yeah. I'm good."

Jay caught Nya giving him a significant look and shaking her head. He nodded in glum agreement. Kai was avoiding Skylor's eyes, clearly trying to hide how happy he was to see her again. He better not act so cold that he turned her away. They would have to keep an eye on those two.

"So hey, are you guys sure you want to do this?" said Skylor. "I mean, I already told you, I can't pay you—"

"Actually, hold up," said Nya. "Before we start, sorry, can we ask just one more teeny favor? You can totally say no."

"What's the favor?" said Skylor. "And does it have something to do with those backpacks?"

They took her into the back room and showed her the aliens. She was utterly blown away.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone," said Jay. "It's really important."

"I won't," murmured Skylor. She was stroking between Mopp's eyes, pausing occasionally to gently study his amputated tentacle. She couldn't take her eyes off the little squishy creatures. "I can't believe this. Real live aliens. Right here in my noodle shop. This is . . . wow."

"We wouldn't show them to just anyone," said Jay. He snuck a peek at the fire ninja. "Kai said we could trust you, though."

"Well gosh. Thanks for the vote of confidence." Skylor grinned at Kai. "If it's so important to keep them secret, though, why'd you bring them? I'm guessing it wasn't just to show me."

"Not exactly," admitted Jay. "We were wondering if we could keep them here while we worked. If we left them at home they'd take stuff apart or attack Chorky."

"Chorky?" Skylor snorted. "Is that another alien?"

"Naw, it's our drone."

"You have a drone?"

"Well, it's not exactly _our_ drone," admitted Jay. "But we're using it to fight the baddies. And either way, we couldn't ask Misako and Sensei Wu to look after them, they have enough on their minds looking after the prisoner—"

"You have a _prisoner?_ " Skylor laughed. "Okay, I can see why you guys are willing to work for free in a noodle shop. With the kind of life you live, this must seem like a vacation."

"You bet," grinned Cole. "Especially since there's noodles."

"Sorry pal, no noodles right now. This is the breakfast shift."

"You have hash browns?" said Cole.

"Sure."

"Works for me!"

Skylor laughed.

"I'm already glad you guys are here."

"So, show us what to do," said Nya. "We're all yours."

"Okay, so you know how this place works," said Skylor, showing them around the kitchen. "There's a conveyor belt with booths by it, and there's also a bunch of tables and booths that need to be serviced by roller skate. I could use cooks, a cashier, skate servers, dishwashers—anything you guys are willing to do is fine."

"Great!" said Jay. "But first, two restrictions. Cole can't be a cook. Kai can't work on skates."

"Very funny," said Cole and Kai simultaneously.

They were still laughing and squabbling over job arrangements when the bell over the front door jingled. Everyone scattered to their respective roles eagerly. The aliens were placed in the large industrial sink in the kitchen with strict orders to be quiet. They obliged, examining their new surroundings with soft warbles of discovery. Meanwhile Zane and Nya took up cooking, Jay and Lloyd put on skates to help Skylor wait tables, Kai took over as cashier, and Cole got stuck as dishwasher.

It was just one customer, though. She came wandering into the restaurant looking a little shy.

"Hi Miss," said Kai. "New here?"

The girl registered a double-take. She looked Kai up and down, then stammered something. Kai smoothly explained how the restaurant worked, and the girl sat down at a table. Skylor was moving to take her order when Lloyd darted out in front of her, nearly tripping over his skates.

"Excited much?" teased Jay when Lloyd returned.

"This is gonna be really fun! I've always wanted to try this," grinned Lloyd. He glanced over his shoulder. "The girl looked at me kinda weird, though. And now she's on her phone acting jittery."

Zane got started on the breakfast order. Everyone else kind of stood around for a while. One other customer came in.

"Little . . . little slow, huh?" said Cole. Skylor gave him a tight smile.

"That's how it is these days."

"Ah man." Cole grimaced sympathetically. "At that rate, how do you—"

Just then the bell above the door rang wildly, and a trio of girls came plowing in.

"Eff ess em!" one of them squealed. "It's true!"

Kai grinned, almost visibly acquiring an anime sweatdrop.

"Hi ladies . . . "

From the kitchen the rest of the crew exchanged glances.

"I have a feeling something's starting," whispered Jay.

Something did start. Within half an hour the restaurant was so packed that Kai had to start putting people on a waitlist. Lloyd switched to helping in the kitchen, while Skylor and Jay waited tables so fast their skate wheels heated up.

"Hoooo!" Jay slammed to a stop against the pickup window. "We've become a ninja café! Gimme 29 Zane, bacon with fried eggs."

"Scrambled," corrected Zane. "And remember, that table is decaf."

"Whoops, y'right! Thanks!" Jay scooped up the correct tray. "Love ya, Zane."

He dodged a swat from Nya's spatula and skidded out into the dining hall, plates jingling wildly. A while later he rematerialized with some empty dishes to wash.

"What am I supposed to do with all this food?" demanded Cole, looking at the piles of half-filled plates surrounding the sink.

"Throw it out over there," said Skylor, skating by.

"Throw it _out?_ "

"Yeah, 'fraid so." Skylor swiped a sleeve over her forehead. "People don't finish their food. Especially with the conveyor belt—they get excited and grab everything they see. Believe me, I don't like the waste either, but that's just how restaurants run."

"I—this—oh, for fizzim's sake!" Cole slapped his palms down on the counter. "No way. No how. If they don't eat it, I will."

"Cole, you don't know where that food's been!"

"Yeah, but I know where it'll be in a minute." Cole grabbed the nearest plate.

"Cole, hun, you can't—" began Skylor, but stopped when the others shook their heads.

"Don't try to get between Cole and food," said Jay. "It won't be pretty."

As Cole began to inhale the leftover contents of plates before dumping them into the soapy dishwater, Meep and Mopp watched from the adjacent basin, interested. The practice of eating had always puzzled them, and they were curious about this strange new variation upon it.

Out front things were still hopping. Jay put all his best skate stunts to use, weaving around customers and juggling more trays than really should have been possible. Executing a tidy kick turn, he slid back into an alcove and pulled out his phone for just a second. The door on the video feed was still shut. Wu was sitting in a chair nearby, reading a book as he kept guard. All good. Back to work.

"Jayyyy!" As he passed by, a little kid reached from a booth, grasping at his shirt with syrup-sticky hands.

"Woah!" Jay barely managed to catch his tray before it tipped. "Hey there, kiddo. Heh, need some more syrup?"

"Do the wightning!" demanded the kid, flapping his hands. His mom cast Jay an apologetic smile.

"Ohhh, the lightning?" Jay set down the tray and pretended to think hard. "Hmmm. Um. Huh." He made abstract shazam gestures at a saltshaker, looking progressively more concerned when nothing happened. The toddler's face fell.

"Hm, you know what?" said Jay. "I think I didn't have my breakfast this morning. Got anything?"

The toddler immediately held up a soggy half of a waffle.

"Toss." Jay deftly caught the waffle between his teeth. Still chewing, he made a big show of warming up his hands. Then he unleashed a bright plasma-ball of lightning that shot across the table and knocked over the sugar. The kid squealed, clapping.

"You know what they say, never skip breakfast." Jay winked, snatched up his tray, and whirled onwards. He nearly bowled straight into Skylor.

"Yipes!" Once again he just barely saved the tray from falling.

"Are you serious?" Skylor hissed over her shoulder as she dished out cups of coffee. "Stealing food from customers! Children!"

"Us hardworking waiters gotta eat too, you know!" Jay swerved around Skylor and continued, skating backwards. "Have mercy, mistress of griddlecakes!"

"How do your teammates stand you?" she called after him jokingly.

Jay laughed, darting to fetch another tray. He had an uneasy feeling that he'd be cringing at himself by tomorrow, but right now he was just having too much fun. The noise, the attention, the fast-paced action—this was almost as good as show biz.

"Got some more for ya!" he called, sliding into the kitchen with a tray of used dishes. "Are you seriously still eating these?"

"You bet!" Cole took the tray resolutely. "Getting a little sick of eggs, though."

Jay shook his head at him, paused to pat Mopp, then grabbed two more orders and headed for the door. Nya, Zane, and Lloyd were still cooking up a storm. He skirted Skylor coming back with still more empties. Yeesh, Cole had his work cut out for him . . .

As the blue ninja darted from table to table, there was a call of "Jay!" Kai beckoned urgently from the cash register. Jay hesitated, knowing he still had a few tables to check on, but at last scooted over.

"Make it fast, Kai, I have a flop two, three orders of cluck and grunt, and a table that needs dirty water."

Kai had already opened his mouth to start talking, but now he left it like that for a moment and looked at Jay blankly.

"Diner lingo. Passing interest." Jay waved him off. "Well? Did you see the guys we're looking for?"

"Not yet," said Kai. "But there's a problem. I'm running out of room in the cash register."

"That is a very nice problem to have."

"I know, I know." Kai allowed himself a chuckle. "But I don't know what to do with the money. Can you ask Skylor if she has a safe or something?"

"Hey, you ask her." Jay grinned. "Nobody's coming in right now anyway. Do it."

"No, come on."

"Doooooo iiiiiiit. You need to talk to her."

"She's busy . . . " mumbled Kai.

"She'd be just as busy if it was me talking!"

"Ugh." Kai ducked his head. "Just . . . no. I can't. Everything's so chaotic right now, and . . . and she's so happy . . . I'll say something I regret. I just know it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know I promised not to break up with her just now," said Kai. "But I'm also not gonna try to _push_ the relationship. She hasn't said anything about it herself. I'm not gonna say anything either. We can talk when . . . when all of this is over. When things are safe. But not now."

"But—"

"Besides, she's a busy woman." Kai glanced away. "You know. Maybe she's not interested."

Jay dragged a hand down his face, sighing deeply.

"All right, Romeo." He pointed at the kitchen door. "March."

"No."

"I'll drag you there myself!" Jay scowled. "I'll make a scene!"

Kai glared at him for a moment. Then he gave a deep sigh of his own and headed for the back door. Nodding with satisfaction, Jay pulled out his phone again and checked the video feed. Wu's head was sunk to his chest, his book on the floor. Jay squinted in concern, trying to figure out if the Sensei had just fallen asleep or maybe been knocked unconscious. After a moment though, Misako walked by and disappeared into the spare room. Jay smiled. All still good.

He skated into the back. Kai was shifting from foot to foot in the hallway by the kitchen, looking unhappy.

"Didja talk to her?" asked Jay.

"Not yet . . . she's out waiting tables," mumbled Kai.

Jay shook his head and went to deliver a few more trays. As he returned, he saw Skylor going in ahead of him. Grinning, he hung back a little, giving Kai a chance to flag her down.

When he poked his head back in, however, Kai was still waiting in the hallway. Lloyd was nearby, holding an ice pack to his hand.

"You okay?" asked Jay.

"Ah, just a little burn," said Lloyd. "I came out here to catch a breather. It's getting _hot_ in there."

Jay clicked his tongue sympathetically, then turned to Kai.

"What are ya doing?!" he whispered fiercely, pointing into the kitchen. "She's right in there! She passed you! Why did you not talk to her?"

Kai shrugged helplessly.

"Oh, you are not serious. _You_ of all people shy, over a stupid cash register! Get over there. Right now."

"Yeah, get it done. I'm getting nervous just watching you." Lloyd jabbed the ice pack lightly into the back of Kai's neck. Kai jumped away and glared at him, then edged half-heartedly into the doorway and assessed the situation. Skylor was arguing good-naturedly with Cole, who still seemed to be eating all the leftovers that came his way. After a moment she skated back, laughing over something, and scooped up two trays to deliver.

"I . . . no, she's still too busy." Kai backed out of the doorway. "We're closing soon anyway. I'll just keep the extra money in my belt until then."

Jay sighed, but nodded in concession and turned to skate away. Then without warning he whirled around and gave Kai a shove, pushing him through the kitchen door. There was a yelp and an explosion of smashing dishware.

"Oh SNAP." Jay skittered backwards, his hands clamped over his mouth.

"Why did you DO that?!" Lloyd whisper-shouted.

"I meant to just get them face-to-face!" Jay held his head. "I am so dead!"

He and Lloyd plucked up the courage to peek through the doorway. Kai and Skylor were trying to extricate themselves from each other and a welter of bacon, bewildered and stammering. Kai more so.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so—I didn't—a-are you—"

Skylor blinked up at him for a moment, then started to shake with silent laughter.

"I-I . . . " Kai had frozen, his hands still planted by Skylor's shoulders, miso dripping from his hair. Skylor caught her breath and sighed, giving him a wry smile. They had some kind of quick silent exchange, then Skylor propped up on her elbows and Kai sank in the rest of the way. The whole thing about holding back from the relationship seemed to be . . . _very_ far from his mind right now . . .

"Wow." Jay tilted his head, fascinated.

"Eww. I'm out of here." Lloyd pulled off his apron and headed out. "Back to waitering."

Kai and Skylor seemed to be winding down, so Jay figured he'd better make himself scarce. He was just heading out to check tables when Lloyd suddenly came staggering back, one skate off and one skate on.

"They're here! They're here!" he gasped.

"What—OH!" Jay had completely forgotten they were here to look for tattooed people. "Oh my gosh. Did they see you?"

"I don't think so." Lloyd hopped on one foot, kicking off his skate. "Oh my gosh, I was starting to worry that they'd see the crowds in here and decide not to come!"

"Oh, uh . . . yeah, me too," said Jay.

"We need to get a good look!" Lloyd plowed into the kitchen, skirting Kai and Skylor cleaning up the mess on the floor, and began to run around telling everyone that their targets had arrived.

"Zane, it has to be you! You can take their pictures secretly!" Jay grabbed the Nindroid and began to steer him towards the door.

"W-wait, I'm still in my apron! I don't have skates!"

"Then take it off! Put them on!"

Meep and Mopp, attracted by the chaos, screeched excitedly from the sink.

"Shhhhh!" hissed Jay, waving them down.

Soon Zane was skating out with an order pad. He'd never skated before, but luckily he picked it up within four seconds. Perks of being a Nindroid. He stopped by a different table to keep up appearances, then skimmed over to the large table with six people, most of them dressed in blue overalls. The other ninja watched from the back room, tense. They couldn't hear Zane's conversation above all the chatter.

"Can I take your order?" Zane was asking pleasantly. He gave no indication that he had particular interest in these customers.

"Thanks, we'll have the—" One of the characters started, realizing this wasn't Skylor. "Heyyyyyy. Aren't you one'a those—"

"A ninja, yes," said Zane. "We agreed to help out in this restaurant today, as part of a . . . promotional deal."

"Huh. That explains the crowds," grunted the man.

A long line of people was gathering by the cash register, waiting to pay for their meals. Kai was a mess, so Lloyd hurried out to take over. A few people were also waiting to come in, but it was past ten so the breakfast shift was officially over. Lloyd poked his head out to say hi, at least.

The tattoo people ate quickly. Then they got up, paid Lloyd, and headed out the door. Lloyd acted like he wasn't giving them a second thought, but after they left he turned to the back room with a "what _now?_ " expression.

"Do we follow them? Do we? You saw what a hurry they were in!" whispered Jay. "They're probably going to start work at their barcode place! They'll lead us right to it!"

"But we can't just leave Skylor with all this work!" hissed Kai.

"Split!" said Nya. "Jay, Zane, Cole, you guys go. You have the best land dragons. Do NOT let them see they're following you, or we are all doomed. The rest of us will stay here and help Skylor."

"Look after the aliens for me!" said Jay. He yanked off his skates, grabbed Cole by the arm, and started to drag him out of the kitchen.

"But there are still leftovers!" protested Cole indistinctly.

Jay let go of his arm and gave him a _seriously?_ look. Cole sighed.

"Yeahhhh, I couldn't eat any more anyway."

"Thought so." Jay took him by the arm again. "Come on!"

"Good luck!" Skylor shouted after them. "And you'd better bring back my aprons!"

* * *

 **A/N: Cor. This is almost as bad as the time I tried to weaponize the convenience store. Can't be helped, tho; I've been looking forward to this scene for like a year by now. I haven't had this much fun writing in ages.**

 **Thanks again for the reviews! As always, you guys have been incredibly generous. ^_^''**


	87. The Rent is Too Damn High

**Kairocksrainbow: Sorry, nope, Kai will continue to freak intensely. Unless distracted by a Skylor. :P  
Happy Jay is so much fun to write, seriously. The silly little bean. :3  
Thanks, and glad you enjoyed! ^_^**

 **TheAmberShadow: Whoo! Well, happy belated birthday, then!  
Kai is not so easily convinced. He's a suspicious bloke. :P Uncle Clarence was pretty great, really! He had a farm, and he'd let Cole pet all the baby animals and swim in the fish pond. Had a rope swing and everything.  
Yeah, she really needed the profit boost, too. So yeah! Everyone wins!  
When it comes to love, nothing is simple! :B  
Hehe, nah, he should be okay. You know why Cole's the Black Ninja? 'cos he's a black hole. He absorbs everything in sight and is essentially unaffected. And nobody knows where it all goes. :P  
** **Thanks for the review!**

 **Zaptrap: Haha, cool! Hope you enjoyed the party. Fireworks and everything, huh? Neat.  
Thanks! Believe me, I look forward to Tuesdays just as much. ^_^'' I'm always eager to post the next chapter.**

 **RandomDragon: Hi there! Thanks very much. :)  
Ooh, interesting! So, are you planning to post it here on FFN?  
Heh, unfortunately it's not legal to have pet Lloydfish, in large part because they're so rare. Highly endangered species. :P We're all very privileged, however, to be able to watch the show and observe the Lloydfish in his native habitat. They may classify Ninjago as adventure/comedy, but it's secretly a nature documentary. About Lloydfish. :P**

 **Zoodirektor: Oh, I think I don't have a left whale . . . how about an ambidextrous whale? :P  
I don't know about higher, but they do have some peculiar mating habits. Some species do! Real-life snake mating can be pretty strange, and lizards get even weirder.  
I think Clancee must be descended from tribes that don't even exist. XD  
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed. ^_^**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks very much! Haha, I'm not sure how to arrange a ninja kidnap. I guess you'd have to start by being a villain? :P  
Mack's a hard man! But we'll see. :)  
Skylor is a pretty cool operator overall. She kinda goes through life like a casual observer, so chaos makes her amused instead of stressed.  
Kai did! And Lloyd. That first girl who came into the shop recognized them as ninja and posted their location on social media.  
They mayyyyyy have some trouble falling asleep tonight . . .**

 **Fire Oreo: Thanks for the review! Heh, Lloyd is a sweetie. As to the aliens, I'm starting to think they just don't like anyone with a K in their name. Kai, Chorky, Mack . . . wonder how they feel about Misako. :P**

* * *

 **Oct 7**

 **10:14 AM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board; Meep lightly wounded**

* * *

The three hunting ninja tore out of the noodle shop. The street all around was empty, save for a few pedestrians. The ninja scattered in three directions, looking all around.

"They couldn't have gotten that far on foot!" said Jay. "Where'd they go?"

"They must have taken a car," said Zane.

"Oh great, we've lost them already!" Jay stamped his feet angrily.

"Not yet we haven't. Guys, stop stamping. Hold still a sec." Cole dropped to one knee and placed his hands on the asphalt. Knitting his brows, he concentrated hard, reading the vibrations traveling through the ground.

"I've got it," he announced. "Van with six people. Windows open, missing a hubcap, purple paint job. License plate LK3D17."

"Are you _serious?_ " Jay and Zane stared. "How do you do that?!"

Cole grinned and pointed to a tiny parking lot nearby. Their targets were just climbing into the van in question.

"Youuu—" Jay aimed a light punch at Cole's head. Cole dodged, laughing, and scrambled to his feet.

"Get back! They'll see us."

They fell back into the shadows under a shop awning as the van roared away. As soon as it drew out of sight, they spawned their land dragons—a special variation on the usual soul dragon, smaller, four-legged, wingless, and nimble on solid ground. They required more concentration than regular dragons and weren't really as helpful as flight, so they didn't see much use—except in situations like this. A giant glowing dragon in the sky would be noticed in an instant.

"Split up! See if you can flank the van, but make sure you don't get into its line of sight!" shouted Cole. With eager shrieks, the three dragons bounded off down three different alleyways.

* * *

The others were a little antsy about staying behind, but they had a lot to keep them busy. Lloyd went back to the _Bounty_ to bring Mack some food. Nya tactfully took over the cash register as the last few breakfast customers drifted out. This left Kai and Skylor to handle cleaning up the dishes. It always took an oddly long time for Skylor to drop off a tray of empties in the kitchen, but that was the whole point.

"I still can't wrap my head around this whole aliens thing." Skylor was tossing a sponge back and forth with Meep. "Honestly, when I pictured extraterrestrial life, this was not what I had in mind. It's so cool that you get to keep them on your ship and everything. Pet aliens!"

"Yeah, well, don't let Jay hear you calling them pets." Kai chuckled. "He thinks they're his kids."

"They're that smart?" Skylor poked Mopp in the nose, cooing. "Hiii, sweetie. You like that sponge?"

Mopp splashed, pleased with the attention. Skylor laughed fondly.

"I bet you take real good care of 'em too, huh?" she said, smiling at Kai. The red ninja started.

"I, uh—"

"He's a good daddy too, isn't he?" continued Skylor, addressing the aliens. "Such a nice ninja."

"Uhhh . . . yeah, sure . . . " mumbled Kai.

He could have sworn Mopp narrowed his eyes at him sarcastically. But if the alien had any smart comments on the matter, he kept them to himself.

* * *

Lloyd found the _Bounty_ quite peaceful, especially after the chaos of the noodle shop.

"Hi Mom. Everything go okay?"

"Very quiet," said Misako. "Wu and I changed some of Mack's bandages, and he seems to be healing quite well, considering." She squinted and brushed at Lloyd's hair. "What is . . . "

"Oh, uh, pancake batter." Lloyd laughed sheepishly. "I forgot and rubbed my head."

"I hope you were wearing a hair net."

"Moooooom, that's for long hair."

Misako raised her eyebrows silently.

"Not you too." Lloyd shook his head at her, grinning. "Okay, but anyway. I wanna get this soup to Mack while it's still warm. It's miso. Good for recovering after injury, right?"

Misako nodded, her smile a little strained.

"Be careful, Lloyd."

"C'mon Mom, I fight whole crowds of these guys while they're loose and armed. I don't think I have to worry about a single guy tied to a bed."

"That may very well be when they're the most dangerous," said Misako. "When you think he's helpless, he can more easily find holes in your defenses. Don't let down your guard."

"I won't."

Heading down the hall, Lloyd poked his head into the spare room.

"Hi," he said, seeing that Mack was awake. "Brought you some soup!"

Mack glared at him silently.

"C'mon, you need to get some protein." Lloyd held out the cup. Mack squinted at it, his mouth twitching with repressed longing. He must be starving.

"Hm. You know . . . " Lloyd weighed his options for a moment. He knew what it felt like to be held captive. It happened to him more than he'd like. If it were him, he knew he'd really resent not being able to eat and drink for himself.

"Say," he said at last. "If I untied your hands, do you think you'd be able to sit up on your own?"

He gave no hint that safety had anything to do with this. Mack studied him keenly.

"Sure," he grunted at last.

Lloyd nodded, drawing in his breath. This was risky. It wasn't a completely insane move, since Mack's legs were still securely bound to the foot of the cot and he wouldn't be able to untie them in front of Lloyd. But it was still a gamble, and one Lloyd hoped he wouldn't regret. This wasn't just naive sympathy, he told himself. Gestures like this, little displays of trust and compassion, were the only way they could hope to win Mack as an ally.

Still, he played his cards right. Rather than untying the cloth rope passing underneath the cot, he pulled out his dagger and sliced it. It made a clean _shp!_ sound right by Mack's ear. The prisoner laughed hoarsely.

"Manipulative little demon, aren't you?"

Lloyd stepped back, chagrined. Mack had seen through his display of weaponry. Forcing an unconcerned face, he held out the cup of soup.

"When you're ready."

Slowly, teeth gritted, grunting at each movement, Mack pushed himself to a sitting position. His bandages creaked against each other.

Lloyd watched silently. It flitted through his mind that this was a man who had no problem with murder. When he handed over the cup of lukewarm soup, his fingers brushed lightly against Mack's and a slight chill shot up his spine.

He thought he did a pretty good job of looking relaxed, though. He watched as Mack drank.

"You know," he said, as something occurred to him. "We're about to break into you guys' stronghold."

Mack quirked one eyebrow, barely glancing over the rim of the mug.

"My friends are out tracking _your_ friends right now," said Lloyd. "We're gonna break right into your main central. You know. _The_ main central. With the barcode access."

The shift in Mack's expression was almost imperceptible, but his pupils dilated. Lloyd allowed himself a smirk.

"So, are you an A or a B?"

Mack scowled.

"Ah, it's okay. We're not going to the trouble of hunting down your tattoo partner anyway. We've got the barcodes. We're as good as in."

Mack gave one of his harsh, humorless laughs.

"You go on thinking that. For a second there I thought you actually knew what you were talking about."  
"Oh?" Lloyd raised his eyebrows innocently. Maybe he could get Mack to spill what other security measures they might face.

Mack only grinned wickedly and said nothing. Lloyd allowed himself a mental _huh._ Tough nut to crack.

* * *

Jay didn't see Cole and Zane till they were right on top of him, which was just the way he liked it. It meant they'd been doing a good job keeping themselves hidden. The three of them recalled their dragons and ducked into a copse of trees.

"They pulled in over there," said Cole, pointing down into a nearby valley. Among the gently rolling hills and clumps of bracken stood a little white house and a large grey barn. The whole thing looked run-down, but highly residential.

"Geez. All this way for nothing." Jay sighed. "I hope they don't plan to hang around in that house for too long. Maybe they just stopped in to visit their Auntie Sue before going to work."

"They _can't_ all have come here for no reason," said Cole. "Maybe it's a Technician meeting house. Or . . . an entrance to their secret tunnels!"

Abruptly he dropped to one knee and began to feel at the ground again.

"Tsh, right. We're not falling for that one again," said Jay.

"No, this time I'm serious. Hold still." Cole, his eyes squeezed shut, was thumping the knuckles of one hand while feeling with the palm of the other. "I can send tiny earthquakes through the ground to feel what's underneath us. Only . . . something must be . . . " He fell silent, thumping some more. He seemed to be having some difficulties.

After a moment he opened his eyes and broke into a disbelieving grin.

"There's a cave underneath us. And it's _huge._ "

"This is the place?" whispered Zane, eyes wide.

"This is the place."

* * *

Skylor hadn't brought in a batch of dishes for almost twenty minutes. She and Kai were leaning on the edge of the sink, chatting comfortably, shoulder to shoulder. Meep and Mopp threw spoons about irresponsibly.

"So, you guys have your hands pretty full with this Technician thing, huh?" said Skylor. "Man. I thought _I_ was busy."

"No, you have it way crazier than us," said Kai. "I can't imagine running this whole place by myself."

"Well, it's a little exhausting, sure," said Skylor. "But a lot less exciting."

"Exciting isn't exactly the word I'd use . . . " Kai was quiet for a moment. "Thing is, Skylor, it's dangerous. Really dangerous. Not just dangerous to _be_ a ninja, but dangerous even to know one."

"Angry enemies?" said Skylor.

"Angry is an understatement." Kai swished a spatula through the soapy water in the sink, watching bubbles trail behind it. "And I've . . . done some questionable stuff in the past."

"Join the club," Skylor said. Kai managed a half-smile.

"Thing is, I know some of the people after us. They're _ruthless_. They don't hesitate to come after the ones we care about. Honestly, it's probably not safe for them to think you're a particularly good friend to us. Especially to me."

"What are you saying?" Skylor's inquisitive eyes lifted to search his face. He swallowed.

"Not . . . not much, I guess. Just . . . well, to be honest I wasn't sure if it was safe for us to even—stay in touch, you know?" He concentrated on the spatula. "Just, if you don't want to take that kind of risk—hanging around with me—I would totally understand."

"You want to break up?" One thing about Skylor, she didn't mince words.

"I . . . " Kai sighed. "I don't _want_ to. But I would understand if you did. To keep you safe."

"Heh. Funny story," said Skylor. "I was going to ask you the same thing. If _you_ wanted to break up. To stay safe."

"What?" Kai gave her a bemused smile. "Don't tell me you've got a psycho drug dealer after you."

"Nothing that dramatic." She chuckled. "But look at this place. Look at _me_. I'm a crazy broke noodle lady. Not exactly glamorous."

"Ah . . . " Kai smiled hesitantly. "Still looks pretty good to me."

Skylor nudged against him, smiling. For a bit they were quiet. Meep took the spatula from Kai and attempted to flip Mopp out of the sink.

"Soooo," said Skylor. "Neither of us wants to break up, but both of us agree it would be better for the other person if we _do_ break up."

"That seems to be the case, yeah," said Kai.

More silence.

"But both of us are waiting for the other one to wanna break up, right?" said Kai.

"Right." Skylor grinned. "So that means no?"

"I think that means no." Kai smiled back. "If you're really okay with my wrecked-up past and psycho rivals."

"As long as you're okay with _my_ wrecked-up past and time-consuming money pit."

"Hmm. Do I get a discount on the sriracha noodles?"

"Youuuuu gold digger." Skylor nudged against him again. Kai laughed softly and wrapped an arm around her, while she rested her head on his shoulder. They were just progressing into a proper snuggle when there was a pointed "ah-hem" from the hallway. They both jumped apart, blushing.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything." Nya poked her head into the kitchen, her face as blankly innocent as a new calendar. "But I've run out of things to do out front, so I'm gonna have to start carrying dishes back here."

"Oh no! I'm sorry, Nya." Skylor hastily pushed back from the sink. She looked at the clock and groaned. "Oh my gosh. I'll be right out to help you."

"It's fine," said Nya. She handed Skylor a tray and a knowing smile. "We need to get together for lunch sometime. We can get to know each other better, and I can give you the scoop."

"Sounds good." Skylor grinned and darted out into the dining hall to start gathering plates.

"'The scoop'?" Kai gave his sister a dubious look.

"You know just what I mean," smirked Nya. "You may wanna start being nice to me."

"Who, me? I'm always nice to you."

Nya laughed and abruptly wrapped Kai up in a quick hug.

"I'm happy for you, big bro," she murmured.

"Aw, how much have you heard?" Kai laughed sheepishly.

"Plenty enough." Nya picked up a sponge Mopp had thrown and handed it to Kai. "Now let's get to work. You get dish duty, brother dear."

* * *

As Mack finished his soup, Lloyd checked his phone. He'd received texts from both Jay and Kai urging him to get back to the noodle shop—in the former case because there was big news, in the latter because help was needed with the dishes.

"I've gotta get going," he told Mack. "You feeling okay?"

"Peachy," grunted Mack.

Lloyd took the mug and considered the situation. He had to tie Mack back down now, but he would have to fetch a new rope first. Should he get Misako or Wu to guard the prisoner? It would probably be the safer thing to do.

For a while Lloyd calculated how far away the ropes were stored and how fast Mack could conceivably untie himself. He was still calculating when he noticed that Mack was slowly lowering himself back down, giving small labored pants as the wounds on his back spiked. Lloyd raised an eyebrow, surprised, but ducked out to snatch the ropes. When he returned, he had little trouble fastening Mack's wrists under the bed again. He wasn't exactly helpful, but he didn't actively resist.

"You know," remarked Lloyd casually. "Now that you know we aren't gonna kill ya, you pretty much have more reason to stay here than to escape."

Mack flicked him a calculating glance. Lloyd stifled a smile. He knew full well that Mack had motivations to escape—to kill them. But Mack didn't need to know he knew. It would be much better if he thought they were _that_ naïve.

"How would you feel about a deal?" he continued. "You said my friends couldn't track down your secret base. I just got a text saying they did. If we can prove to you that we've got the names and photos of your six barcode friends, and have accurately found your secret base—will you fill in the blanks?"

Mack gave him a condescending smile.

"We'll figure it out ourselves anyway," said Lloyd. "But you could make it that much easier. In return for us saving you."

Mack continued to grin.

"Yeah, well." Lloyd turned to the door. "Think about it."

* * *

When Jay, Cole, and Zane arrived back at Chen's House of Noodles, everyone else was frantically scrambling to finish the breakfast dishes before the lunch shift started. The newcomers hurried to help, but Jay made it difficult to work by constantly spouting off excited news.

"It was so cool! They have these giant vents everywhere, all covered up with bushes and stuff! And the barn! It looked all old, but it was actually brand-new! They're gonna park all their cars in there! There were only a few today, but there is still sooooo much space in there, it's gonna be insane!"

"So now all we have to do is take out those six folks who come here for breakfast, put on some half-decent disguises, and take their place," said Kai.

"Exactly! We'll be in there in no time! Oh my gosh guys, WE'RE DOING THIS!" Jay flapped his arms excitedly. Meep and Mopp screamed, picking up on his enthusiasm.

"Jay, come on, we have ten minutes to get all the rest of these dishes," said Nya. "And we have to start heating up the fryers for the lunch shift!"

"Speaking of the lunch shift," said Zane, peeking out into the front of the restaurant. A fair number of people were already standing outside, waiting for the doors to open.

"Oh boy." Skylor peeked out as well. "Looks like nobody got the message that you guys wouldn't be here after breakfast."

The ninja looked at each other.

"You mean it's gonna be that crowded again?"

"Ahh, it's fine." Skylor waved. "Far be it from me to complain about getting more customers."

"But you'll never be able to handle that many by yourself!"

"Ah, come on guys," said Skylor. "I really appreciate the help, but if you stay now you'll probably end up having to stay for the dinner shift too."

"Yep, guess so." Cole brushed off his apron and tightened the strings. "Looks like we're here for the long haul."

* * *

The rest of the day went by in chaos. The ninja swapped between cooking, serving, and dishwashing as the moment demanded; Kai even tried on skates for a little while. A very little while.

"Cole, you are _not_ eating all the lunch leftovers too," said Nya.

"Like heck I am." Cole took a plate of fried rice. "I've worked off breakfast already."

Nya shook her head, sighing.

"Here, save the egg rolls and finger foods for the rest of us. At least we know nobody's been biting into those."

It was so busy that nobody had time to go up and bring Mack some food. Misako came down to fetch some instead.

"Hello?" She poked her head in through the back door.

"Woah, Mom!" Lloyd came stumbling by on roller skates, balancing a tray of plates. "Hi! Sorry I couldn't come up. We've got a ton of leftovers, you can grab Mack some wonton!"

"All right, all right." Misako squinted at him. "Lloyd, you _still_ have pancake batter in your hair?"

"Ack, no, that's dumpling batter now. Shhh, Mom!" Lloyd waved his free hand urgently. "Kai's already threatening to dunk me in the sink."

"Do I hear an invitation?" Kai's voice drifted from the kitchen.

"No!" Lloyd shouted back over his shoulder. "I'll clobber you with this tray!"

He turned back to Misako, grinning, but started when Jay hoarsely shouted "order up!" through the pickup window.

"Oh, I've gotta get going! Sorry Mom!"

He pecked her on the cheek and scrambled off. Misako shook her head after him, smiling.

"Misako?" Kai appeared in the doorway with a take-out container full of broth and dumplings. "Heard you wanted some wonton."

Misako nodded and took the soup.

"My son stays _out_ of the sink, young man." She gave Kai a mock glare. "Are we clear?"

"Yes _ma'am_." Kai held up his hands in surrender. Misako chuckled, her gaze flitting down the hall where Lloyd had vanished.

"He seems to be doing a lot better, doesn't he?" said Kai, noticing.

"He does." Misako smiled. "I know you all are there for him."

"We try." Kai shrugged sheepishly, shifting in the doorframe.

"Order up!" Misako and Kai both winced. Jay was losing his voice proper by now.

"I guess I'd better get out of your way," said Misako. "Don't work too hard now, all right?"

* * *

One other interesting thing happened that afternoon. The dinner shift was just starting, and Lloyd was skating out to take a few orders. He noticed an elderly lady standing by the door, wringing her hands and looking around as if she'd lost something. Jay was just going over to see if she needed any help.

Lloyd turned back to work, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed Jay and the lady talking. She was pointing at him. Jay looked confused, but trotted over to Lloyd.

"Hey skatefish," he said. "That lady over there wants to talk to you. She says you can answer a question for her."

Lloyd raised an eyebrow and snuck a glance back at the lady. She was still standing by the door, hunched over her hands and smiling blandly.

"You think it's safe?"

Jay shrugged.

"It's an old lady. I don't think the Technicians hire those. Besides, I'll sorta hang back and keep an eye on you. Anything goes wrong, you signal, okay?"

Lloyd nodded and skated over.

"Hi ma'am. You wanted to talk to—"

"Lloyd!" Beaming, the woman grabbed his hand and clasped it in both of hers. "Ahh, it's been too long since I've seen you."

"I—wh-what?" Lloyd stared. "How do you know my—"

"Ahh, and on skates again," continued the lady, unfazed. "Aw. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were permanently attached to 'em."

"I'm sorry, wait, who are y—"

"No time! Quick, take this." The lady was already pressing a small piece of stiff paper into Lloyd's palm. "No need to answer right now, but keep it in mind! Don't you forget! And tell Skylor and the other ninja."

"Wha . . . How do you know about the . . . " Lloyd glanced down at the piece of paper, which seemed to be a business card of some sort. "I don't understand, what do you—"

He looked up just in time to see the lady slipping out the door. A twist of purple light rolled off her shoulders. Lloyd started, his eyes widening.

"H-hey, wait!"

He shot to the door and leaned out into the street. He was just in time to see a glint of purple hair vanish around the corner. For a second he tensed to go after her, but then he relaxed again, resigned. He had to stay here.

"I saw that! That was Chamille, wasn't it?" said Jay from behind him.

"I—I think so." Lloyd turned back, bewildered.

"Man, your girlfriend really isn't into long talks."

"She's not my girlfriend!" said Lloyd automatically.

Jay smirked, but turned his attention to the piece of paper in Lloyd's hand.

"What'd she give you?"

Lloyd held it out so they could both read it.

"YOU'RE INVITED," it read in flowery script. "The first reunion of the Elemental Masters. Date TBA. Location TBA. Start thinking about your RSVP and stay tuned for more info." In small print at at the bottom was an asterisk: "Hopefully this time we can hang out without having to fight killer snakes."

"A reunion? Awesome!" said Jay. "We should totally go."

"Let's hope we can finish off the Technicians before then," said Lloyd.

"Sure we can! Heck, it'll be a great way to celebrate saving Ninjago. Again." Jay darted off to start telling the others the news. Lloyd looked a few times between the invitation and the front door where Chamille had disappeared. Then he shook his head and tucked the invitation away in his pocket.

* * *

 **A/N: I wanted to end this chapter on a cliffhanger, but that would've made this chapter awkwardly long and the next chapter awkwardly short. Well, we'll just have some action next time, I guess!**

 **Argh. We're definitely going to get past 100 chapters here. Sooooo far past 100 chapters. What is concision. T_T**


	88. Say Hello To Our Little Friend

**Ta-daaaaaa! Friday! *Vanishes in a cloud of smoke***

* * *

 **Kairocksrainbow: No worries, that's cool! I don't mind if people like or dislike certain pairings, 'long as we're all being mellow here. :)  
Thanks very much! I do my best. ^_^''**

 **TheAmberShadow: Heh, I was wondering if that would come up. Good catch. Gosh only knows how much he ate that time, though. ;)  
They have their innocent and adorable moments! But Lloyd the most, certainly.  
If only it were that easy. Unfortunately when Jay loses his voice, he doesn't go silent; he just continues talking in this weird creaky cockatoo whisper.** **It's enough to give you chills. :P  
Lloyd's hair is also a black hole! But only for various batters. :B  
Very true. XD They must be very frazzled people.**

 **Jens: Whee! Thanks for the review. :3  
Oh yeah, Mack needs to be punched. These smug-grinning people are fiends.  
I do like wonton too! Miso, eh, it's not my favorite, but it's not bad either. Oh wow, though, wasn't expecting that question. Uh . . . not too much, I guess? ^_^'' I know little bits and pieces about Chinese food (like, not actual Chinese food, Chinese-American food), and woks and sushi and stir-fry and miso for breakfast and eating each course separately and such. Nothing in-depth, though. ^_^''  
That's what the TBA was about, I can't pin down how long it'll actually be. :P  
Lloyd could totally use a grandma, though. :)  
Aww, man. Well thanks! I'll definitely be looking forward to that. ^_^**

 **Zaptrap: Well, it's not for a long while, but I thought I'd introduce it. ^_^''  
Arrrrrgh, it is long. It's like one of those cartoon gags where you think someone has a small piece of paper and it suddenly unfolds into a twenty-foot scroll. X'D  
Thanks very much for the review! :)**

 **Anonymous7: Well . . . in a way, yeah. ^_^''  
I wish I knew where the portal was. I'd go down there and tell these kids to move the plot along. XD  
Aw, no, Kai and Lloyd didn't do anything on purpose. It's just that the girl recognized they were ninja, and they didn't realize she was posting about them on social media. ^_^''  
They probably could use some help from the other EMs, but they don't even know where they all are, so it would take a while to track them down. They do an excellent job hiding, considering nobody knew about them till season 4. :P  
Thanks for the review!**

 **RandomDragon: Sounds like a plan! And yeah, makes sense. Happy writing to you, then. :)  
Ooh, so you're good at battle scenes, huh? Nice. Those are always my sticking point.  
Watching Lloydfish documentaries is indeed fun. :3 And you were gonna tell me something about Kai and his voice actor? . . .**

* * *

 **Oct 7**

 **10:01 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board; Meep lightly wounded**

* * *

It was ten PM when the last customer finally drifted out. Skylor skated up to the door and flipped over the OPEN sign.

"Annnd we are officially closed for the night!" she announced. She turned around and chuckled when she saw that all the ninja and Nya had collapsed onto the floor, panting wearily.

"I thought ninja were supposed to have endurance," she grinned, hands on her hips.

"Forget it." Cole swiped a hand wearily in her direction. "You're way tougher than us."

"Ah, not really." Skylor flopped down next to Kai. "Believe me, I'm just as exhausted as you. If not more."

For a second they lay there, catching their breaths. Kai snaked his arm under Skylor's shoulders, and she cuddled against him subtly.

"Still have to do dishes . . . " sighed Nya at last, staring at the ceiling.

"How about we eat our own dinner first?" said Cole. "We have a _ton_ of leftovers."

Soon enough all seven of them were crammed around a table, munching egg rolls and noodles. The conversation had turned to things Skylor could do to improve business—short of permanently hiring the ninja.

"See, I've been thinking about ditching the conveyor belt," she said, waving her chopsticks. "It's not bad profit-wise, since customers have to pay for their food whether they eat it or not. But it does waste a lot of food, and that also means more work for me cooking it."

"The conveyor belt's kinda central to the brand image, though," said Cole. "No other place has those."

"Exactly. The restaurant industry is very competitive—you would not want to sacrifice a key differentiating factor," said Zane.

"Hmm. I guess so," said Skylor. "But honestly, maybe it's time I started differentiating myself with something else."

"Like a different theme?" said Nya. "Different food?"

"Maybe. A location change would probably be best," said Skylor. "Maybe even change the name, start all over. But the catch-22 is, to earn more money by changing locations, I'd need to _have_ enough money to buy or rent a new location. Not happening right now."

"The breakfast shift seems to be attracting some attention," said Zane. "Perhaps some inexpensive advertising might help."

"Hmm, like flyers?" Skylor bit into an egg roll. "I'll have to look into that."

"What about offering more desserts?" Cole licked his lips. "I bet some cake would really boost business."

"Cole, you showing up every day won't boost business _that_ much," said Jay.

"Whaaaa? What makes you think it'd be _me?_ " Cole feigned wide-eyed innocence. The others laughed.

"No, but seriously," said Nya. "Cupcakes are 'in' these days. Maybe a cupcake store?"

"Believe me, I'd love to." Skylor laughed. "But with the kind of clientele I get these days, I'd probably get further selling brass knuckles."

"You get roughs?" Kai looked concerned.

"Ehh, nothing I can't handle." Skylor snorted. "Huh. Maybe that should be my next promotional offer. Win a cage fight, eat free."

"Oh, for Pete's sake," said Kai.

"I volunteer!" Lloyd raised a hand. "They can fight me."

"What is wrong with everyone today?!"

Amidst the laughter and progressively stranger business suggestions, Zane suddenly stiffened. His head lifted and his eyes brightened. Lloyd was the first to notice.

"What's up, Zane?"

"Someone is outside."

Kai dropped his chopsticks, cutting himself off mid-oath.

"We've been here all day."

There was an audible intake of breath as everyone else registered at once. All of Ninjago City probably knew they were in Skylor's noodle shop today. And what Ninjago City new, Nash knew.

"We need to leave." Jay's voice caught.

"No use! Our ship is parked right overhead! He already knows!" Kai covered his face. "How could we be so _stupid?_ "

"Then we'll have to face him." Cole stood up, jaw tight. "About time we quit running away."

"Not in my noodle shop! I don't want a bloodbath in here! And I definitely don't want any of you hurt," hissed Skylor. "Get out the back door."

"No, we can't, we can't!" Kai shook his head furiously. "If he knows you let us escape he'll kill you!"

"Then take me with you!"

"He'll burn your shop down!"

Skylor swore. She looked around for a moment, biting her lip, one fist thudding lightly against the tabletop. Then she grabbed Kai and Cole by one sleeve each.

"Listen to me . . . "

* * *

It was quiet outside for a while. Eventually there was some soft scrabbling and clicking at the door. Someone was picking the lock.

Skylor stepped up to the door.

"What do you think you're doing?"

The reptilian head perked up lazily. Three yellow eyes blinked through the glass.

"I mean, go on ahead, but . . . " Skylor gestured up at a security camera in the corner. Nash flicked his glance to it for a moment, then took his hands off the door. Skylor opened it and looked blandly at the snake, who certainly wasn't running like you'd expect a burglar to do when he saw a camera.

"Can I help you?" she asked with exaggerated solicitude.

"Ninja," rasped Nash.

"Yeah, they were here for the day," said Skylor. "They left a little while ago."

Nash's eyes narrowed. Skylor swallowed inadvertently and squared her shoulders. Overcompensating for the urge to shrink away. He knew that, too. She could tell by the way his gaze flitted to her neck.

"Sorry, the promotion ended an hour ago," she continued, her voice steady. "Were you hoping to meet them? I might be able to set up another event in the future."

"They're still in your store," said Nash. "Let me in."

"Ex _cuse_ me?" Skylor raised her eyebrows. "I can't just let people in at all hours, buddy. Besides, they're not here."

From overhead there was a sudden rumble. Nash's slitted yellow pupils flicked upwards and searched. The _Bounty_ had just powered up its rocket boosters. Glowing yellow and orange against the night sky, it began to pull away from the noodle shop, gaining altitude.

Nash tracked it with his eyes for a moment. Then he looked back to Skylor. She shrugged.

"Yeah, sorry. You a friend of theirs? I thought they seemed kind of sketchy. They hang out with burglars, huh?"

"Let me in," said Nash again. He was familiar with this overly casual tone, the exaggerated body language. People acted like that when they wanted to hide their sudden unexplained anxiety.

" _Listen_ , what do you think you're—" Skylor gasped as Nash shoved her aside. "Hey, get out of my shop!"

"Shaddup," grated Nash. He began to stride among the tables and booths, angling his scaly head to peer into all the crevices. His tongue flickered out sharply.

"Hey, you can't go in there! Get back here! HEY!" Skylor headed angrily after the snake as he approached the back doors. "Listen punk, I'll call the police—"

Nash whirled around and snapped his teeth in warning, drops of venom splashing off his fangs. Skylor backpedaled with a muffled yelp.

"O-okay, I've—you—"

Nash took another step towards her, and she backed into the doorframe, shaking. Yanking open the door, she took off down the street.

With a snort of dissatisfaction, Nash slipped into the back room and prowled around the kitchen. He would have to hurry, now that the idiot proprietor had gone to summon help. He could deal with anything short of three packed police cars, but it was better not to create unnecessary stir and get the police any _more_ determined to track him down. Besides, he had six more shipments to check tonight, plus the continuing search for Natanka and Mack, so he'd rather not waste time stabbing law enforcement officers tonight.

The kitchen was rank with the smell of grease and burned food. Some sweat as well. Nash's tongue shivered in and out. They had been here. But now they were gone.

Cursing, he turned over a cart full of dishes and headed out.

* * *

Meanwhile, Skylor hadn't even run three steps before a glowing red dragon came screaming from the sky and swept her off the street.

"Oh my god Kai, oh my god," she gasped into his chest. Her fingers were driving into the back of his shirt and his were tangled in her hair and overall it was a wonder he even managed to find his way to the _Bounty_. The others flanked them on the way back. Under Skylor's orders, they had texted Wu and Misako to fly the _Bounty_ away without them, to give the illusion that they were already gone. While Skylor talked to Nash, the ninja had crept out the back door with the sleeping aliens, climbed over the building, and waited on the roof. Skylor had ordered them to wait until she pretended to run away, but they'd been ready to dive in if they heard any violence. Not that anyone had much liked the plan.

They caught up to the _Bounty_ quickly. Kai's dragon dissolved as he and Skylor crashed to the deck.

"Are you okay? Are you okay?" everyone was asking, but neither Skylor nor Kai heard a word of it. They were a little too wrapped-up in each other right now.

"I can't believe you, I am _never_ letting you do anything like that ever again," gasped Kai. "First Spinjitzu Master. The minute you walked away I realized he was going to kill you—"

"I knew what I was doing, don't you doubt me," mumbled Skylor dizzily. "Oh geez, Kai. His eyes, I can't even—"

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry, Sky. I'm so sorry."

"Ick. Let me know when they're done," muttered Lloyd, heading inside.

Skylor and Kai finally pulled themselves together a little.

"I can't believe we were so careless," groaned Kai, plunking down at the mess hall table. "What were we thinking? Letting the entire town know we were there, hanging around till all hours, parking our ship right overhead." He looked up at Skylor, grimacing. "So now he knows for sure you're with us. You do not even know what a mess you're in now. I think we just cost you your noodle business . . . "

"Actually, I think I might be okay." Skylor gratefully took the mug of tea Zane offered her. "I think I have him pretty convinced that I don't know you guys, and you were just there for a promotional offer. I mean, he wouldn't pick on some random shop owner you guys did a publicity stunt with, right?"

"I . . . don't know." Kai rubbed the side of his hand uneasily. "With him, honestly, there's no telling."

"Well, I guess I'll be working on pins and needles for the next few days," sighed Skylor. "Oh well. It'll help me wake up in the morning."

"You're not honestly going back there?"

"Sure I am. I didn't let one crazy snake man ruin my life, I'm not about to let another one finish the job." Skylor flashed a grin over her tea, but sobered soon afterwards. "Ugh. I think I'll close up for the next day or two, though."

"Please," said Jay.

"Heh. Gives me some more time to clean up after today, too."

"We'll help," offered Nya. "We can all go down together tomorrow."

"And hey. Do you want to stay with us in the meantime?" said Cole. "I mean, you sleep in the apartment over the shop, right? I don't think _I'd_ want to go back there after what just happened."

"That would be great. Thanks so much."

"We're so sorry that it had to end like this," said Zane softly.

"It's fine, it's fine." Skylor waved him off, even though she was still rubbing one eye tiredly with her other hand. She looked around at the mess hall, smiling a little. "Wow. I'm still kinda taking it in. Here I am, slogging away at the same boring restaurant chores, day after day. Suddenly I end up here with you guys, and there's aliens, and hostages, and psycho snake men, and drones."

"Glitter drones," corrected Jay.

"And spaceships made of Tinkertoys." Kai smiled a little.

"Ah, ah! Kai, this is no time for blasphemy. You shush."

"Am I missing something?" Skylor looked between Kai and Jay, smiling bemusedly.

"Pretty much what it sounds like," said Cole. "It's made of Tinkertoys."

" _Shush!_ No more!"

"We also have a car that creates power outages," continued Cole, unruffled.

"Wait, what?" Skylor's attention snapped to him.

"Our very own Empress," said Cole. "It gives off EMPs that knock out everything electronic for like half a mile."

"Only twenty meters," corrected Nya. "But yeah."

Skylor looked around at each ninja in turn. She seemed to be assessing if they were screwing with her. At length she broke into a grin.

"Show me."

* * *

Sensei Wu allowed them all to sleep in the next morning. They'd all been getting way too little sleep lately.

"So, how was the girls' night out?" asked Kai, just a little bitterly. What with Mack on the cot, they hadn't had a thing to offer Skylor to sleep on. In the end she, Nya, and Misako all took sleeping bags and went down to sleep in the Samurai X cave.

"Oh, it was great," grinned Nya. "We stayed up till four AM baking snickerdoodles and painting our nails and giggling over gossip."

Kai raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, so we passed out instantly." Nya gave him a playful nudge. "And your girlfriend snores."

"I do _not_." Skylor elbowed Nya jokingly on the way past. It was clear the truth was somewhere in between Nya's two reports, because she and Skylor seemed to be besties already.

"So, what's the plan for today?" said Jay, grabbing a cereal bowl. "Oh. Somebody better feed Mack."

"I already brought him some oatmeal," said Zane.

"And the term is, 'bring Mack some food'," said Nya, leveling a finger at Jay. "He is not a dog."

Jay shrugged. He wasn't quite as ruthless as Kai, but he did kind of feel they owed this guy only the most basic human decency.

"We need to review what we found out yesterday and start planning our attack on the Technicians' main base," said Cole. "Lloyd, if you can get anything out of Mack, now would be a nice time."

"I think I might be able to," said Lloyd coolly. Kai gave an amused snort. Lloyd looked superciliously back, as if he had the situation ever so much under control, but Jay thought he saw a little flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. Poor kid, he was trying.

"First things first, though," said Nya. "We've gotta help Skylor clean up her shop."

"Oh, no, that's fine—"

"Hey, we're not letting you go down there alone," said Nya. "Besides, we messed it up, we better help clean it."

As they were preparing to head down to the noodle shop, Lloyd pulled Zane aside.

"Say Zane," he said under his breath. "Um, you have pictures of those tattooed guys from yesterday, right?"

"Of course," said Zane.

"And you can find out their names, right?"

"I think so, yes," said Zane. "I have been working on it since yesterday—some of them are giving me a little trouble, but I think I should be able to make fairly definite statements on all of their names."

"Ah, phew." Lloyd sighed with relief and gave Zane a smile.

"I assume this is something other than just forwarding our mission?" said Zane. "Your tone suggests it."

"Kinda." Lloyd looked around furtively, then leaned in. "I told Mack we had the photos _and_ names of his coworkers, so it would really hurt my cred if we didn't."

"Hurt your cred?"

"Yeah, I just—" Lloyd rubbed his head distractedly. "I've been bluffing. I was trying to work him into telling us some secrets, you know?"

"I see." Zane considered this for a while. "You know, he asked about you this morning."

"Really?" Lloyd looked startled.

"Yes. He wasn't . . . exactly complimentary . . . "

"Figures," snorted Lloyd.

"But he did mention he had some matters to discuss with you."

"No way, really?" Lloyd's eyes lit up. "I knew it! I knew I was making headway!"

"I certainly hope so," said Zane. "Mack's help in our mission would be invaluable, and if anyone can secure it I expect it would be you."

"Thanks." Lloyd smiled. "So can I count on you to be on my side in this?"

"Of course."

As they were turning to head out, Zane cleared his throat lightly.

"Err—is now a proper time for hugging?"

Lloyd blinked, registering, then thought about it for a second.

"Well, in general terms—ehh." He gave a "so-so" hand wiggle.

"Oh," said Zane, disheartened.

"Fist bump is good, though." Lloyd grinned, holding up his fist. "That's it."

"I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of this," sighed Zane.

"You're fine, buddy. You'll get there."

* * *

 **A/N: Gahhhh. Happen, things! Happen faster! *pokes plot with broomstick***

 **For the record, Skylor's security cameras don't even record. Like the moving sign, she usually keeps them off to save on electricity. Not that Nash needs to know.**

 **Also for the record, Jay still insisted on sticking with the "random tape, no switching" system when they took Skylor out in the Empress. Kai was not overjoyed. Luckily they just ended up with some boring garage band. :P**


	89. Tell Me About It

**RandomDragon: Well, that's an honor! Thanks. ^_^  
No kidding?! That is epic. Woah. And here I thought voice-acting for Ninjago must already feel like a big deal. Imagine being in Frozen!  
Ooh, sounds cool! Do I need to use a YouTube account to request?  
If Nash knew, he might actually be a little less angry about that than he is about the ninja beating him. In his own twisted way, he's got a kind of respect for women. They're nimbler. He's always had a harder time skewering them. :/**

 **Anonymous7: Well, that's good! And yeah, that's still the plan. Yeah, provided I ever do get around to that EM reunion, there should be at least a little Lloydille going on. :3  
Thanks for the review!**

 **TheAmberShadow: I'm sure Skylor has some duct tape in the supply closet. :P  
Golden rule, Jay. Don't mess with it.  
In some ways they might be better off if Mack doesn't cooperate at all. That way they won't have to second-guess whether he's telling the truth or not.  
Poor old Nindroid. Thanks for the review!**

 **Zoodirektor: Thanks for both reviews! Heh, okay, I'll look into shipping that ambidextrous whale over. ;)  
Thank goodness, too! If parasites were intellectual we'd have worse problems. :P  
I do hear a lot of theories that he's a human who got bitten by a Fangpyre!  
They're Serpetine, they better get some use out of those fancy tongues. :)**

 **Fire Oreo: So's Kai! And Lloyd's still technically ten, where romance is concerned. ;)  
Hey, being easily amused is a very nice problem to have. :) Thanks for the review!**

 **Zaptrap: Nash approves of hitting couches. Or of hitting anything, really. ;) And he is very persistent!**

* * *

 **Oct 8**

 **2:24 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board**

* * *

After spending a large chunk of the day sweeping up smashed china and scrubbing grease, the ninja and Skylor returned to the _Bounty_ tired and smelling of cleaning fluid.

"Okay, Mack the Knife," said Jay. "You seemed to handle soup and soft foods just fine, so we're stepping you up to sandwiches."

Mack grunted. He waited for Jay to untie his hands and pushed himself up fairly easily.

"You feeling better?" said Nya. She checked over some of Mack's injuries as he ate. "Yeah, you're healing pretty well. Think you'd feel up to walking around?"

Mack's gaze snapped up to her. Jay watched the briefest flash of shiftiness flit through his eyes, before he hastily ducked his head to hide it.

"Sure . . . " he muttered.

As Jay and Nya helped him out of bed, Meep came skittering into the room. He saw Mack and started to hiss like a burst safety valve, coiling himself up as if preparing to strike.

"Meep, nooooo," said Jay firmly. "No. Nnnno."

Meep snarled some more, but at least refrained from causing Mack injury. He hovered directly behind the man's head at all times, watching him closely.

Meanwhile, Kai was in the control room telling everyone else what was what.

"Remember, we have to at least _look_ competent in front of him," he said. "No mushy stuff. No messing around. Don't let him see any weakness."

"Awww, you're starting to sound like Cole," sighed Lloyd.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Kai and Cole simultaneously. They exchanged an irritated look, then Kai took the lead again.

"I'm not saying you have to be stiff or serious. But we have to let Mack see that we're professionals. Act like . . . " He searched for words. "Pretend like everyone else in the room is a huge jerk and you low-key hate them."

"Pretend?" Lloyd grinned.

"Shut up," snapped Kai. The others started, taken aback by his tone.

"That was a test run!" Kai waved his hands. "That was how we're gonna have to do it, see?"

"Oh, surrrre. Yell at the kid, why don't you," said Cole.

"No, seriously, I didn't mean it like that—"

"It's fine, it's fine!" Lloyd chipped in. "I get it."

"Argh. Should've given you a warning. Sorry." Kai rubbed his face, already shaking his head in dismay. "Ohhhh man. This is gonna go terribly."

Skylor was shaking her head too, muffling a grin. After a few seconds the sound of Jay's ceaseless chatter drifted down the hall, accompanied by a shuffling step. Jay and Nya came scooching in, supporting Mack between them..

"Hey, you're just in time for the briefing," said Lloyd.

Mack settled gingerly into a chair, scowling at all and sundry.

"Feel free to jump in at any time," said Lloyd mildly. "If you have anything to add."

Mack gave him a particularly bitter scowl. Kai squinted, distrustful.

"All right Zane, spit it out," he said, using his "I'm dealing with a bad guy" voice. Zane, to his credit, didn't even flinch.

"The base is roughly two clicks west-southwest of the city," he said. "The entrance is disguised as an old farm building, with a mockup barn serving as a garage."

"There's an underground cave at least ten meters deep and three hundred meters long and wide," said Cole. "Basically an underground warehouse. It may or may not have separate rooms or connect to the tunnel system. I do know it's way too large and straight-edged to be natural."

"And there's a ton of electrical activity down there! I could feel it!" Jay bounced excitedly in his seat. Kai cringed and shot him a glare, which went completely unnoticed.

"Plus there were tons of hidden vents! They had them disguised under bushes and ferns just like in the movies. You could feel warm air puffing up through them!"

"But it was very dry," said Zane. "I imagine even in cold weather it would not create steam. This suggests very tight climate control—the sort needed to keep computers operational."

"So we're just about certain this is the place," said Nya, arms folded.

"You betcha." Jay rubbed his hands gleefully. "We are so in business."

Kai was looking harrowed. Skylor looked like she couldn't decide whether to take his side or laugh.

"Mack, anything to contribute?" asked Cole with exaggerated pleasantness. The prisoner slouched, his mouth pursed with suppressed fury.

"Suit yourself." Cole grunted. "Well then. On to the next part of the plan. Zane?"

"On it." Zane began to fasten wires to his head so he could display on the _Bounty'_ s main computer screen. Meanwhile Jay continued to bounce happily.

"Everything's coming together, guys! Can you believe it? This is the real deal! The final stretch!"

Kai twitched. Expression blankly casual, he pulled out his phone and rattled off a text. Jay started when his phone buzzed.

 _Sober UP already,_ Kai had texted. _Act tough in front of Mack!_

Jay made a face and texted back some objections, but Kai shot them down so firmly that he started to think maybe he should comply. He stuck out his tongue when Mack wasn't looking, though. Kai returned the sentiment.

The computer beeped. A collection of six photographs blinked onto the screen, candid, but crisp and focused.

"Whoo. Nice shots, Zane!" said Jay, without thinking. Beside him Kai gritted his teeth.

"These six individuals are our gateway into the Technician base," said Zane, shuffling the pictures. "We do have the barcode that presumably unlocks the base doors. However, to carry out a successful operation, we should disguise ourselves as full-time workers in the base. Hence these six."

"You have their names?" asked Lloyd, sneaking Zane the briefest of hopeful glances.

"Absolutely. Along with quite a bit of background information." The images on the screen flickered and dropped out, replaced with a larger resolution of just one photograph.

"Adam Wayne," said Zane, casually tossing the name up in digital text. "Age twenty-nine. 5-foot-8. 169 pounds. Married and divorced. Criminal record shows two convictions for petty theft and a DUI."

Jay peeked at Mack. The man's expression was unreadable. Jay's best guess was either disbelief or anger. Good signs. It meant Zane was right.

"Kathy . . . Zywotnik." Zane hesitated, but then pronounced the name with confidence. Jay smirked. Internet lookup for sure.

"Age thirty-three. 5-foot-2. 132 pounds. Single. Clean criminal record, although there are unsubstantiated rumors that she dealt with the slobber trade and-or a black market ring. Significant limp."

By now even Kai looked like he was having a hard time not complimenting the Nindroid on his search skills. Still, he continued to sit in ostensibly bored silence as Zane breezed through two more entries.

"Marco Dumas." The Nindroid switched to a photo of a man with a wild black beard. Jay snorted inadvertantly, and from the corner of his eye he saw Lloyd shudder with silent laughter. Zane glanced at them sidewise, but continued.

"Age thirty-five. 5-foot . . . nine . . . " He looked around at the others, who were finding it progressively harder not to crack up. "Have I said something amiss?"

"Uhm—pretty sure—pretty sure that's not how it's pronounced, Zane," choked Cole. That tore it; the others collapsed into laughter. Zane tilted his head, confused and beleaguered.

"With an 'oom,' Zane, 'oom,'" said Nya. "Come on. Say it your way a few times."

Zane's eyes flicked back and forth as he recited in his head. Eventually he blinked in understanding.

"Oh." He forced a chuckle. "I see. Uhm, apologies."

Lloyd and Nya were both looking uncomfortable now that they'd calmed down. They looked despairingly to Kai. He looked away for a moment, trying to ignore them. At last he heaved a sigh.

"No, it's fine, Zane," he said, giving the Nindroid a rueful smile. "Relax."

"Names are hard." Lloyd dove for it like a starved dog to a steak. "I mean, look at 'Sean.' It's crazy that they don't pronounce it 'seen.' I didn't know that for the longest time."

"Pff, you think that's something?" Jay scoffed. "I was twelve when I found out that H-U-G-H was pronounced 'hue' and not 'huh.' Ma about had the hysterics."

"How were you figuring that would work?" grinned Cole. "So if you were meeting someone new, you'd just shake their hand and say 'So you're Huh, huh?'"

The others were still laughing. Zane was smiling genuinely now, gratitude clear in his eyes. Kai was looking resigned, but smiling too. Their credibility in front of Mack was shot, but screw that, they couldn't just leave the poor Nindroid miserable.

"Hey Mack, careful," said Jay. "You judge us any harder and you might sprain something."

Mack was scowling in disgust. Ignoring him, the ninja turned back to the remaining photo briefings.

"Soooo," said Cole when the briefing was over. "Maaaack?"

The man tightened his jaw and looked away. Lloyd tried to hide his disappointment—and ignore the others' significant glances.

"Well fine. We'll go on," said Cole. "Stop us whenever you have something to add."

Mack snorted.

"So, six of them," said Jay. "Six of us."

"I'm about the same height as that T.J. guy," said Kai. "And his hair's the same color as mine. I could go as him."

"And you have to be Marco, Cole! You have to!" Jay resumed bouncing. " _You'll have a beard!_ "

"Ohhhh no. Forget it. Not that guy."

"You have tooooooooo!"

"I can go as Kathy," said Nya. "But, uh . . . you know . . . "

"What?" said Kai.

"Well, there's two girls."

"Ohhh. Snap."

Zane flicked to the photograph of the other woman, Elina Teake. Fluffy brown hair almost to her shoulders, pretty short build, expression much too earnest, given her trade. As if by command, everyone's gaze shifted to Lloyd.

"What?" he said. "Me?"

"You _are_ about her height . . . " said Cole.

"And your hair is definitely the same length . . . " said Kai.

Lloyd brushed back his hair with one hand, feeling how far down it went. Definitely almost to the shoulders.

"But . . . I don't know if I . . . uhhh . . . "

"If it's figure you're worried about, it looks like they all wear overalls," said Kai. "And she's got . . . ehh . . . a pretty young figure, let's put it." He glanced sheepishly to Skylor, then turned back to Lloyd. "Either way, you'd be wearing the same stuff if you disguised yourself as a guy. So basically the only different factor is having a girl's name."

Lloyd sucked in his lower lip, weighing his options. He looked at Elina's picture and felt at his hair again. After a moment he gave the others a cautious look.

"No smart comments?"

The others crossed their hearts solemnly. Jay had to be elbowed first.

"Well . . . " Lloyd sighed. "Okay."

* * *

That afternoon Cole, Kai, and Zane spent a great deal of time bent over a table with Skylor, plotting how they would switch themselves out with the "breakfast club," as Cole called it. Jay felt kind of left out. Not that he enjoyed planning in the slightest, but just on principle. He distracted himself by attempting to calm the aliens, who still hated Mack with all their hearts and wanted his spleen for a burnt sacrifice. Meep followed at the man's shoulder at all times, communicating back to the kitchen with angry chirps. He and Mopp seemed to be monitoring the situation between them, and at the first sign of suspicious activity they would both scream. With guard dogs like this, the ninja decided it was safe to let Mack wander the ship on his own.

"I mean, you can try to escape," Kai told him drily. "But we're almost a mile up. I think it'd kind of defeat the purpose of hiding injured in a warehouse for days."

Mack wasn't super mobile. He mostly sat in the spare room, scowling, but he would occasionally get up and limp through the ship, peering into all the rooms. He knew better than to approach the kitchen, but he cast a covetous look at the weapon room.

He looked either way down the hall. Nobody was there. He glanced back at Meep, who was tense but not in scream mode. Then he began to edge towards the armory door. Meep still didn't react.

Exulting at his luck, Mack headed for the doorknob. There was a doormat on the floor, but he didn't pay it much mind—until he stepped on it and there was a sharp salvo of _bang!_ s. Alarmed, Meep began to screech, and from the kitchen Mopp did likewise. Jay came skidding around the corner, nearly sliding into the wall.

"Aha! I knew the security system would work! Jay the genius strikes again!" He sobered into a stern glare and pulled out his nunchucks. "Step away from that door, bud."

"The hell is this?" growled Mack, still recovering from a mini-heart attack.

"Party poppers." Jay kicked lightly at the doormat, which gave off a few extra bangs. "There's a couple more layers of security beyond that, each of them equally fiendishly clever." He gave his best modest grin. "So don't even try."

Mack offered him some choice opinions and began to limp away. A couple of the others had been attracted by the noise, and now they began to disperse, shaking their heads. Nya came forward, however.

"'bout time I changed your bandages," she told Mack. It was not a suggestion. Mack eyed her resentfully, but began to limp towards the spare room.

"I'll help!" Lloyd came sliding in from the kitchen, munching a toaster pastry. He appeared in the doorway of the spare room, then looked down at his hand and realized he no longer had a toaster pastry.

"JAY, you gimme that back!" He vanished momentarily, and returned with pastry. Shoving it into his mouth, he stepped up to watch Nya carefully unwrapping Mack's bandages. Then he wiped his sticky hands off on his gi and moved to help.

"So," he said casually. "D'you have a family?"

Mack gave him a scornful look.

"Yes, I _am_ trying to talk you up," said Lloyd. "What else am I supposed to say? 'Tell us Technician secrets'? That's clearly not working."

Mack chuffed and wagged his head, unimpressed.

"So, no family?" said Lloyd at last.

"Naw."

"Why'd you join the Technicians?"

Mack tossed his head again.

"Hold still," scolded Nya. Lloyd searched for another topic.

"Did you . . . huh. Did you know a snake called Natanka?"

Mack raised an eyebrow.

"Venomari. Two eyes, pink scales in front. Heavy accent. Curses a lot." Lloyd chuckled. "Seen her around?"

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing much. Just wondering." Lloyd kicked at a spare curtain rod, smiling distantly. "We met her for a while. She risked a lot to help us."

"Don't know her," grunted Mack.

"Mm." Lloyd took a deep breath. "Okay . . . how about Eycho?"

Mack started.

"You knew him?" Nya looked up keenly. Lloyd could tell her heartrate had skipped up just as fast as his.

"Not really, no," said Mack. His eyes shifted back and forth as he considered how much he should tell.

"But you . . . recognize him," said Lloyd carefully.

"Eh." Mack flipped over his tattooed palm. "He was going to be my partner. Next thing I know I'm being assigned a new one." He shrugged. "Chief probably offed him."

"Yeah. Yeah he did." Lloyd looked away. "We . . . we saw him get stabbed. Kai and I. It was over nothing, just—"

"Ahh, that's how the chief works," interrupted Mack, scoffing. "Stabbed, huh? Maggot. He had it easy."

"I wouldn't call it easy," said Lloyd tightly.

"Oh, you wouldn't?" Mack chuckled. "You know what, tell me something, smarty. What happens to me after I cough up the information you want?"

"If—if you're thinking we'd kill you after that—" began Lloyd indignantly.

"Pff, naw. I've seen enough of you pansies to know you wouldn't kill me," said Mack. "You'd do worse. You'd drop me off somewhere in Ninjago, 'you're freeee, go be happy!', and then at the first opportunity the Chief catches me and kills me slowly. Slowwwwwwwly." He grinned joylessly. "Do you know what venom death is like? Blood coming out of every opening in your body. Your insides slowly melting, burning like acid. No hope of a cure. Nothing to do but beg for death to come faster."

"I . . . " Lloyd groped for words.

"Do you know how long it takes?" Mack was enjoying this. "Hours. Your entire body turns black and blue. Your lungs fill with blood. Your vision turns red. Your mind slips away, from the outside in. Only the most primitive centers left—the ones for pain."

"Shut up, okay?" Lloyd cut in with unusual sharpness. "We—we wouldn't do that to you. We wouldn't just leave you to Nash."

"Then what? You're gonna keep me forever?"

"N—no, no." Lloyd shook his head hard. "See, that's why we have to win. We're going to get rid of Nash. We'll put him away where he can't hurt anyone. Then you can go free without worrying."

"Or any chance of ever getting a job," said Mack drily.

"Th—that much is your own problem," said Lloyd. He slumped a little when Mack laughed.

Nya finished up the bandages and shooed Lloyd out.

"You ignore him," she said in a fierce whisper once they were out in the hall. "Don't let him get to you."

"I'm not," mumbled Lloyd. "I'm fine."

"Hey. Don't feel bad," said Nya, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Everyone expected this guy not to talk. Nobody's gonna hold it over your head."

"I guess." Lloyd glanced back to the spare room, then headed off down the hall with a determined expression. Nya muffled a sigh. She began to understand how Kai felt whenever _she_ wore that face.

* * *

By evening the plan was set. Skylor stayed over for dinner. Zane hadn't had much time to cook, so the others helped him toss together a self-serve taco buffet. Mack was invited too, but he didn't eat much. He sat over a dish of ground beef, watching the proceedings with an expression similar to that of a trout. Only angrier.

After dinner, against Kai's urging, Skylor insisted that she go back to her apartment. She wanted to start running on a normal schedule again tomorrow, which meant waking up early to heat up the fryers. She promised to call at the first hint of suspicious activity, and Kai was openly admirous of her nerve, but the whole affair still made him angsty and depressed. To cheer him up, Jay and Lloyd pulled him into the spare room for an upgrade.

"The hell are you doing," grumbled Mack, watching them from his cot.

"What's it look like?" said Jay. "We're fastening knives to Kai's cast."

They were, in fact, attempting to bolt some curved blades to the outside edge of Kai's arm. A la Batman. Mack gave an amused grunt.

"Thought ninja were supposed to be agile. What'd you do, trip on the stairs?"

"What, this?" Kai looked down at his cast, then shrugged. "Nah. I got him angry." He jerked a thumb back at Lloyd.

"Yeah, stay on his good side." Jay jumped in. "He's a creature of unparalleled savagery."

Mack's glance flicked to Lloyd, who was looking away.

"Heck, we're all pretty savage." Jay looked down at the polka-dotted duct tape he was wrapping around Kai's cast. "I mean, this is just a sign of our ruthlessly psychopathic tendencies. We go out and crack people's skulls for our job, and then we go home and do arts and crafts."

"Ohh, for the love of Mike, Jay," muttered Kai.

"You shush. Remember, I'm ruthlessly psychopathic, and I'm the one with the duct tape."

"Oh, and what are you gonna do with it, tape a—ow, Jay, ow! _Geez!_ Of all the low—"

Hissing, Kai set to work detaching a strip of tape from his hair.

"Ack. Sorry, wasn't aiming for the hair," said Jay sheepishly.

Mack shook his head silently.

After they got Kai's blades properly fastened, they tested them by throwing boxes at him. The blades were pretty useless, but Kai did manage to impale a box or two, so they were all pretty pleased with their efforts.

Still, the moment Lloyd noticed Kai alone he flagged him down.

" _Kai._ "

"What?"

"What the heck was all that about? With the—with the cast."

"Oh, that. Well geez, you know it was nothin' personal, right?"

Lloyd gave him a dubious look.

"Seriously! I was just backing you up." Kai spread his hands. "Never hurts for Mack to think you're dangerous, right? It'll get you some respect."

"I know, just . . . " Lloyd shook his head, unable to pin down what exactly bothered him about this. Kai sighed.

"What. Should I not joke?"

"Maybe not about _that_ ," mumbled Lloyd. He felt stupid asking. Kai only shrugged and tossed up his hands in concession.

"Fine, fine. If you say so. Staying off the topic."

"Thanks." Lloyd gave him a faint smile. Kai rolled his eyes at him good-naturedly and turned to head down the hall.

"Wait, Kai," said Lloyd suddenly. "Is it—uh—is it true there's no cure for a Venomari bite?"

"Well . . . sort of," said Kai. "There's antivenin. But it's really rare, because they have to pull it out of dead Venomari. Like organ donations, you know?" He eyed Lloyd suspiciously. "How come you're asking?"

Lloyd shrugged. Kai made an irritated noise.

"Mack, huh. He didn't go into details or anything, did he?"

"Uhh—" Lloyd scrabbled. Kai made an even more irritated noise.

"Great. Say what you like, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be hanging around that guy right now. You've got enough trouble—"

"Whaaaat, because of the spell? I'm _fine!_ " Lloyd scowled.

"You _just now_ asked me not to joke about it."

"That's different!" Lloyd bristled, miffed that this was already being used against him.

"I still don't think you should hang out alone—"

"I wasn't even alone! Nya was—" Lloyd cut himself off, gulping. Kai's expression darkened.

"He was talking about venom death in front of Nya?"

Lloyd sighed, well and truly painted into a corner.

"I've just about had enough of this guy." Kai cast a poisonous glance at the spare room door. Then he turned away. "Ugh. I should probably talk to her."

"She's fine," said Lloyd sulkily.

"Yeah, considering what you call 'fine,' now I'm really worried," muttered Kai. Lloyd opened his mouth to snap back, but gave up and turned to head in his own direction.

"Hey." Kai looked back. "Oh great, you're going to hang out with him _again?_ "

"I've got to tie him up for the night, all right?" said Lloyd. He pushed into the spare room without waiting for an answer.

"Gotta tie you up again, Mack," he said. He wasn't in the mood to beat around the bush.

Mack grunted. Lloyd caught sight of his expression and came to a screeching halt.

"What?" he said cautiously. "Hey. Whatever you might have heard—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard enough." Mack continued to scrutinize him, his brows knitted. His mouth twitched. "Don't get much respect, do you?"

Lloyd tensed instantly. This sounded like the prelude to a hoodwink. He calculated for a second.

"Why do you care?" he said at last.

"I mean, what are you, sixteen?" Mack seemed to not have heard the question.

"I . . . well, physically sixteen, yeah."

"Physically."

"Yeah. Mentally, I don't know. Anywhere from eleven upwards. I think it varies from topic to topic." Lloyd laughed shortly at the look Mack gave him. "It's a long story."

"But you're the youngest, right?"

Lloyd couldn't figure out what all this was about. Their ages were more or less public knowledge, so it wasn't like he'd risk much by replying.

"Almost the youngest." He couldn't resist a proud smile. "Zane's sort of younger than me."

"How the hell do you mean sort of—"

"Well, he's also the oldest."

Mack stared at him for a moment. Then he shook his head and began to massage the bridge of his nose, laughing wearily.

"So these are the so-called protectors of Ninjago. Damn. The entire continent is in the hands of a bunch of lunatic teenagers."

"Well, for lunatic teenagers, we do a pretty good job," said Lloyd tartly. "At least now you know exactly how embarrassing it's gonna be when you lose."

"No kidding. No wonder the chief's this mad." Mack snorted. "Believe me, kid, when the chief's angry, heads way older and wiser than yours tend to get separated from their shoulders."

"That's what they tell me." Lloyd folded his arms. Geez, this was shaping up to be a pretty terrible day. No luck getting Mack to talk, he got stuck disguising as a girl, all that creepy stuff about venom death, the whole squirmy affair with the cast, he almost had a fight with Kai again, and now to cap it off Mack suddenly showed a weird interest in mocking him and his teammates.

"Frigging lunatic teenagers." Mack shook his head again.

"Did you start this conversation just to tell me that?" said Lloyd wearily.

"Naw, naw." Sighing, Mack sat back and gave Lloyd a dry grin. "All right, kid. I said this morning I wanted to talk to you . . . "

Lloyd's insides jumped wildly. He did his best to look cool and noncommittal.

"Oh. Yeah?"

"Siddown." Mack waved at the nearest box. "I'll tell you about Base Zero."

* * *

 **Silica:** HOLY FRICK CAPPS

 **Silica (private):** THEY HAVE MACK

 **Capslock (private):** WHAT

 **Capslock (private):** WHO?

 **Silica (private):** The ninja! I was just trawling through their phones, and I saw a message that said "look tough in front of Mack." THEY FRIGGING HAVE MACK.

 **Capslock (private):** Ohhhhhh, damn. How did they do that?!

 **Silica (private):** Search me! What do we do now?

 **Capslock (private):** Well . . . I don't know about you, but I don't think we can risk an attack on their main base just to get Mack back. Did they mention what they'd do to him?

 **Silica (private):** Well, nobody's been researching torture methods lately. You think he'd talk without it?

 **Capslock (private):** Nahhhh, no way. He's one of Blue's crew. Let me tell you, I deal with those guys every day. You could feed them inch by inch to the rats and they wouldn't talk.

 **Silica (private):** Well #$%&. As long as he doesn't squeal we'll be fine, and now we don't have to worry about saving him from Blue!

 **Capslock (private):** Excellent mole, too. Stay alert in case he tries to send us a message.

 **Silica (private):** Will do. This is awesommmmme . . .

 **Bluescreen:** Hey, what's all this holy fricking about? None of this would be for Cap's ears only, eh?

 **Silica:** No, Mr. Psycho. I'm just reporting that the katamari is already almost 85% done. You interested?

 **Bluescreen:** Couldn't care less. Just tell me when you've got Ninjago all wrapped up nice, and pay me my dues.

 **Silica:** Thought so.

 **Silica (private):** Haaaaaaaaaaa.

 **Capslock (private):** Ha. Man, if he knew what we do behind his back . . .

 **Capslock (private):** Say, is the katamari really at 85%?

 **Silica (private):** Sure is. We'll be ready to activate in three days, tops. We are SO CLOSE, Caps. I can't even. We're actually gonna do this.


	90. The More You Know

**Okayyyy, I am nervous as frick about this chapter. I just know some stuff in it is gonna have to be changed later. I have so little idea what I'm doing right now, it's not even legit. X'D**

 **In other news! Seen that Season 8 preview from the San Diego Comic Con? Holy soup.**

* * *

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for both reviews!  
Skylor's a cool operator! And yeah, she and Nya should get along swimmingly.  
** **Them's who has the long hair, pays for the long hair. :B  
Aw, thanks very much! Heh, after Season 5 there was no going back. Kai's a highly trained older brother, and Lloyd is a surprisingly easy target. :P Their personalities are really fun to work with too. Kai's usually all savage and gritty and cynical, Lloyd is borderline naïve. They balance each other out nicely.**

 **TheAmberShadow: Heh; I think she was probably rattling off pronunciation guides and giving him exasperated looks. But she probably gave him a virtual hug later.  
Not that the others need to know. ;)  
They're lunatic teenagers with an unswerving sense of responsibility, crazy amounts of courage, and mad ninja skillz, so it works out pretty well. :)  
Oh man, you're right. If they had just stuck to calling him Clarence this whole thing could have been avoided. XD  
Yep! Cutting it close, these ninja. Thanks for the review!  
**

 **RandomDragon: Oh. Do you link to a profile or something to give credit?  
It's fine by me! But thanks for the warning. I know some people do object to that sorta thing.  
Oooooooooh. A laser would be way more effective, but the downside would be that he couldn't look like Batman. Decisions, decisions! :P  
*GASP* I hadn't realized that! They're fish buddies!**

 **Zoodirektor: Sure thing! His name is Chester. He doesn't like sharks, though, so you'll probably want to keep him in a tank on the other side of the aquarium. And don't let the guests shout "hai!" at him. :P  
They wouldn't?  
Thanks! ^_^'' Well, he doesn't have any plans just now, I think. He was just a little creeped-out by Mack's description of venom death and wondered if it really was that hopeless once you got bit.**

 **Zaptrap: That's fine! Hope camp was fun. :) Thanks for the review!**

 **wowlookimhere: Eep! I remember you! Oh my gosh, thanks for the amazing epic-length review. :3 And you're welcome!  
Hehe, I love the Katamari Damacy soundtrack, although I've never played the game. Best study music ever. But nah, since the rolling ball in the game is called a "katamari," that's what they call the growing ball of code the Technicians are gathering too. Silica's a video game nerd. :)  
Ohh yeah, I saw that sneak peek! And my reaction was exactly the same as yours. Right down to not recognizing Lloyd at first. For the longest time I was sitting there going, "Huh. Somebody else has green Spinjitzu!" XD  
And yes, the animation was beautiful! Such a gorgeous city. And I still can't get over that shot where the six burglar folks flip over the passing train. Too cool. "Sons of Garmadon" is like the most epic title ever, too.  
But yeahhhhhh, I'm sort of fluffed up and hissing distrustfully at the character redesign. I was okay with changing the characters for the movie, since it's separate from the show, but now they're dragging the designs over into the show too. That's not fair. The show was here first.  
Man, I'm honored! Thank you. ^_^'' And you should totally go for those fanfics! I think you'd be good at them. :)  
** **Well, it's not just you, me, and your sister. I know for fact Skylark Starflower is just as riled as we are. We're all gonna have to sit here and be riled together, I guess.  
And joke. We can always joke. I already have at least four different ways to annoy the new Lloyd. :B**

* * *

 **Oct 8**

 **10:11 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board**

* * *

"Okay, so you guessed right. It's the main base," said Mack, scrawling a rough blueprint. Lloyd had convinced him to give the briefing in front of everyone. "And we do have computers in there. Well, more like a computer farm. Cloud storage. Massive amounts of data, yadda yadda yadda."

"I'm guessing that's not Granny's recipes you're storing," said Cole.

"Lemme guess," added Nya. "Massive ball of junk code fragments collected from phones and computers all over Ninjago?"

"Yeah." Mack looked resentfully down at his blueprint. "Officially they call it a katamari."

"Oh, that makes sense!" said Jay.

"It does?" said Cole.

"Yeah! They roll up code into a giant lump, like you roll up a katamari." Jay looked around at the others' blank expressions and huffed. "You guys don't play enough cool games."

"Whatever," said Kai impatiently. "That's not important. What's important is how we can get in there and break it."

"Yeah, yeah." Mack eyed them all, flipping the pencil in his hand. "You do realize I'm selling out my chief and my entire organization here."

"Some chief," said Kai tersely. "Some organization."

"Don't worry. You're doing the right thing," said Lloyd. Mack rolled his eyes at him.

"Whatever. So, getting in. I can't help you much with those disguises, I only know two of those guys you saw. I do know Brett wears hoodies to work a lot—he's always whining it's too cold down in the base. So that might help for him." He jabbed the pencil at Zane.

"Good point," said Nya. "Brett had a beard too. Between that, long sleeves, a little makeup, and a popped-up hood, we should have no problem hiding that Zane's shiny."

"Mm. So, you have the barcodes," said Mack. "But that won't help you. There are four other layers of security. Starting with, there are cameras all over the old farmhouse. Someone's always watching them."

"Well, that's what the disguises are for," said Cole.

"Then there's an elevator built right through the house's cellar." Mack tapped at his blueprint. "You have to stick in your ID card, and then it'll ask you for a passcode. They do change it regularly, but last I heard it's 6499. Then once you get underground, there's a door pretty soon. It doesn't open unless you have an authorized fingerprint. Index finger."

"Oooh." Cole frowned. "That puts a kink in it."

"Well, are the systems linked?" said Nya. Mack raised an eyebrow at her.

"Does it have to be the same person every time," she clarified. "Does the system know that this ID card goes with this fingerprint goes with this barcode? Will it freak out if they don't match?"

"Ahhh . . . I don't think so." Mack scratched his chin. "I'm pretty sure I've been on shifts where one person opened the first door and different people used their barcode."

"Awesome, then we can still do this," said Lloyd. "When we catch the breakfast club, we can just make wax imprints of their pointers. Then we can make fake fingerprints."

"Awful smart, aren't we?" Mack grinned at him sarcastically. "Okay, clever kids. Next security measure is a retina scanner. Beat that one."

"Easy," said Jay. "Do we take their left or right eyeballs?"

" _Jay._ "

"Well, I'm not just gonna say we're giving up . . . "

"We won't have to," said Zane. "I can get a scan of the breakfast club's retinas. Then I can accurately transfer the image onto a marble or other clear curved surface."

"Awesome," said Cole. "We're cracking this place open like a nut. So, I'm guessing the barcodes are last?"

"Yeah, they are. You'll have to use your own, the tattoos are real precise. They follow the curve of the hand and stuff. If you try to copy them from the 'breakfast club's' hands, they won't work."

"Got it. Anything else we should know?"

"Not really. Once you get past the barcode scanner, you'll be in Base Zero. Giant underground room full of stolen computers, hooked together to make a data bank. Destroy those and the katamari's lost. We spent almost a year gathering enough computers to hold it, so once you get that done you're set for a bunch of months."

"Say, that reminds me," said Jay. "What _is_ the katamari for? What are you gonna control?"

"Don't look at me," said Mack. "I'm just one of the workers. They don't tell me this stuff."

"Oh, come on," said Cole. "You must've heard something. Not even some rumors floating around the ranks? Or, how did they recruit new members? They can't exactly say, 'hey, sign up for our criminal organization, we'll do undefined criminal things.' They must have mentioned what's in it for you."

"Ah, I used to be one of the electronics deliverymen, then I just got shunted over to the next project," said Mack. He shrugged sullenly, avoiding meeting anyone's eyes. "I think they just told new recruits something about controlling Ninjago and getting a share of profits. No specifics."

"Okay then," said Cole. "Well, we know they're out to take over _something_ , and that's enough for us. Once we take out the . . . cat-whatever-it-is . . . "

"Katamari," said Jay indignantly.

"Sure, cut a Mary, whatever. Once we get that, their main plot will be foiled. Then we can concentrate on finding and catching the bosses themselves."

"I'd worry more about one of my bosses finding _you_ ," said Mack.

"Does Nash hang around in Base Zero a lot?" said Cole.

Mack glowered at him silently.

"Thought not," said Cole. "We're good."

As the others dispersed to start planning, Lloyd stepped over and put a hand on Mack's shoulder.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"Get out of here," muttered Mack, swatting him off.

"Hey, come on. See, I told you—we're not killing you, and we're not kicking you out."

Mack shook his head, glaring down at the blueprint he'd just drawn.

"Don't thank me. You're all just going to get yourselves killed down there."

"Yeah, well." Lloyd gave him an exasperated smile. "We'll see."

* * *

The next morning they were up early again.

"Why is she not picking up, why is she not picking up . . . " mumbled Kai, pressing the phone much too hard to his ear.

"Re _lax_ , Kai." Jay sighed. "She has all of our personal numbers. If she was in any danger, she'd let us know."

"Then why is she not picking up?"

"Because she's busy, duh."

Kai opened his mouth to argue further, but suddenly the line clicked.

"Hello?" Skylor's slightly breathless voice came through.

"Oh man, Sky!" Kai tried not to sigh with relief. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, hotshot." Skylor laughed fondly. "I'm just really busy."

To his credit, Kai ignored Jay making "ha ha, told you so" faces. The others gathered close around him so they could listen in.

"I've gotta say, you guys really gave me a boost." You could hear Skylor's smile. "Before I opened this morning, there were so many customers waiting outside that I put a 'Sorry, No Ninja Today' sign in the window. And they're _still_ coming in droves!"

"They must have liked the food," said Cole. "That's awesome."

"The sign is a good idea too," said Nya. "Not only will it keep your customer numbers manageable, it'll throw off you-know-who and the breakfast club."

"Oh yeah, speaking of the breakfast club!" Skylor grew animated. "They just came in here a while ago!"

"Oh my gosh. Could we come and ca—uhhh, meet them now?"

"I don't know, they usually eat really fast," said Skylor. "You can try, but I think they'll be gone before you can get here."

"Nah, I think we can make it," said Kai.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, we're in your backyard."

Silence on the line. After a few seconds the backdoor opened and Skylor stuck her head out. She broke into a grin when she saw the ninja.

"Hi there!" Jay waved cheesily.

"I should report you for trespassing." Skylor was still grinning. "All right. Let's get the plan going."

The breakfast club left only a few minutes later.

"Come on, let's step on it," said the driver impatiently, sliding behind the wheel. "It'll be harder and harder to find parking these days. Word on the streets is, Silica's switching us to full staff tomorrow, 'cos from 90% upwards it's gonna need just as much maintenance as the finished thing."

"You're almost at 90%? Man, we're working on a tighter schedule than we thought!"

The man stiffened at the unfamiliar voice. Before he could whirl around, Cole was already leaning between the front seats, reaching over the guy's shoulder to hold a dagger to his throat.

"Nice and easy," he said. "Hands off the wheel. That's right."

Meanwhile the van's passengers had opened the doors only to find ninja piling out of them. There was a brief but highly motivated scuffle.

"Phew! This one nearly got away," panted Lloyd, dragging back a struggling T.J. "Let's get these guys out of the street."

Three of the six Technicians were unconscious, and the ninja quickly tied the others up.

"If you don't make noise, we won't hafta gag you," said Jay, wiping his forehead. "Deal?"

They loaded everyone into the van and drove a small distance away, before anyone noticed some shady kidnapping business going on in the parking lot. As Cole drove, the others were already getting to work.

"Okay guys, we realize this is morally gray and almost definitely illegal," said Jay, rolling Brett over. "But relax, we're not gonna hurtcha. Think of it as a dentist visit, huh? About as long, and just about as uncomfortable." He leaned back as Brett tried to spit in his face. "Not super mannerly, are we?"

Zane was already scanning retinas, gently holding the Technicians' eyes open.

"Just a very brief pulse of light," he warned, and flashed a quick picture. He frowned, analyzing his results. "Could someone please help me hold them steady while I'm photographing?"

Lloyd came over to help. They got quickly through the first two conscious Technicians, but on the third one Zane suddenly seemed to lock up. The Technician, one of the two women, was looking at Zane with the strangest expression. Anger and some fear, understandably, but also a strangely searching look, as if she knew what Zane would do and was waiting for it.

Meanwhile Zane was moving tensely, his eyes flicking back and forth. When he reached out to hold the woman's eye open, he acted like he expected her to burn him.

"What's wrong, Zane?" asked Lloyd. He looked the woman over. He recognized her as Elina Teake, the woman he'd be disguising as.

"Nothing, nothing at all," said Zane hastily. The woman's gaze lifted to bore into his. Instead of taking a scan of her retina, Zane pulled back and looked away.

"Do you two . . . know each other?" Lloyd was still bewildered.

"In a way." Zane gave him a look almost like guilt. "She was one of the team that stole my neural drive."

" _What?_ " Lloyd sputtered. "How did you not mention this?!"

"I . . . didn't think it was relevant."

" _Not relevant?_ "

"Shhhh!" Zane waved a hand, pleading for silence, and glanced furtively over his shoulder. "Don't tell Kai."

Lloyd closed his mouth obediently, knowing what Zane meant. He looked with wide eyes at Elina, who had her head bowed stubbornly, glaring at him from the corner of her eye. Daring him to enact vengeance. How had he not realized this before? This was the woman with the taser in that desperate photograph Zane had taken. Oh gosh. This must be rough on Zane.

There was a moment of tense silence.

"I wish I could tell you I'm not angry," said Zane quietly. "But I . . . don't know if I can."

"I don't want your forgiveness," growled the woman.

"If PIXAL has her way, you certainly won't get it," said Zane ruefully. Lloyd smiled a little, thinking about the kind of commentary Zane's companion must be offering right now. No wonder he looked so distracted.

He watched the Nindroid's face as he searched for words. He wanted to jump in himself, tell Elina how much grief she'd caused them all, how she'd nearly cost them their brother. But he held off. This was Zane's confrontation, not his.

"I promise we won't harm you," said Zane at last. "We have a friend who owns an abandoned island far offshore. We'll drop you off there, with enough food and water to last until we come back. You'll be able to undo each other's bonds, if you work together."

Elina glared at him silently. The Technicians in general seemed to be great folks for haughty silence.

"It's not personal," said Zane. "We just need to do this, for Ninjago. I . . . guess you were only following orders too."

Elina searched his face. After a moment she gave a sardonic half-smile.

"You fought well," she said. "I was impressed."

Zane blinked.

"Uhh—thank you." After a moment he ventured a shy smile back. "Maybe once this is over, we can meet on better terms."

"I wish I could tell you good luck," said Elina. "But I don't know if I can."

Zane chuckled in understanding. After a moment his smile twitched into a grimace, and his eyes went distant for a second.

"PIXAL, _stop_ it. That's excessive."

Lloyd laughed. The van was just now pulling into the harbor, rumbling past jetties and cranes. It rolled out onto a long pier where a ferry was bobbing. A hooded figure leaned on the railing, chewing on a straw. It would have looked rather foreboding if the hood hadn't been bright orange.

"Howdy, strangers. Nice van."

Kai poked his head out the window, grinning.

"Hey thanks, stranger. Nice ferry."

As they watched the ferry chugging away (listing slightly, as it still leaked a little after being sunk), Zane muffled a sigh. Lloyd squeezed his shoulder.

"How d'you feel about that?"

"I have no idea." Zane gave him a hopeless look. "I . . . part of me wanted to—to complain. To say something angry. But that felt so wrong, I couldn't do it. But when I tried to tell her I wasn't angry, I couldn't do that either. I couldn't bear to say nothing, but everything I tried to say felt wrong." He sighed. "Human emotions are further beyond my grasp than I thought."

"Are you kidding me?" Lloyd socked his arm gently. "This is as human as it gets."

"It's supposed to be like this?" Zane looked dismayed.

"Yep. All the time."

" . . . I'm reconsidering my priorities."

* * *

Now that they had the breakfast club's ID cards and a much better idea of what they looked like, they got earnestly to work on supplies and disguises.

"You know what I love about being a ninja?" said Jay, coming in with his arms full of bags. "You get to go to the craft store and say, 'excuse me, I really like these clear plastic ornaments. Do you have any that are just about the size of eyeballs?'"

"Please tell me you didn't actually say that," said Nya.

"He did actually say that," said Kai wearily. He'd been along with Jay.

"Hey, not to kill the mood—" began Cole.

"Too late! It's gone." Jay sighed.

"Listen, guys. We need to get a little serious here." Cole folded his arms.

"Awww, not this again!"

"Don't leave us!"

"Guys, no. Listen to me." Cole held up a hand for silence. "Tomorrow we're going straight into the heart of Technician territory. With any luck, it'll be the last attack we have to make against them. But let's try to make sure it's not the last attack we make against _anyone_."

Seeing that he had the others' sober attention now, he continued.

"Right now is the moment we can least afford to slip up. Don't send _any_ texts, emails, or phone messages that might give away what we're doing. Don't take pictures of our disguises. If you have anything you need to do, get it done, just in case. But if you have any goodbyes, say them in person."

"Um?" Jay raised a hand hesitantly. "So, does that mean I can't film us while we're preparing?"

"No way. They'd know the whole plan the minute some Technician happened to dig through our phones."

"What if I used the camcorder?" said Jay. "Even if they could control that remotely using our phones, they couldn't see what it recorded unless they had the tape. Right?"

"I . . . guess so." Cole shrugged. "If you're really that determined."

The ship jittered with excitement all day. Jay trotted about filming it all. Every second something different seemed to be happening: Zane was painting retinas onto plastic ornaments, Kai was writing a note to send to Dr. Borg through Chorky, Lloyd was dyeing his hair, Cole was rotating his false beard around and around trying to figure out where the top and front were.

"Do I have to wear this?" he asked for at least the sixth time.

"Absolutely." Jay muffled his laughter. "I can't wait to see this."

"You laugh and I'll kill you, Jay."

"Oh, I'm scared. Mr. Dumas-with-an-oom." Jay made a face and turned to go film elsewhere. "Also, you've got it on backwards."

Cole made a dismayed noise and started rotating the beard some more.

There were lots of more mundane things happening too. Kai threw together an early dinner of pork ribs, Mack maintained a sullen silence, the aliens zipped around alternating between contagious hyperactivity and rage at Mack and Chorky. Lloyd wandered around the ship helping Wu and Misako look for the senior phone, which they kept misplacing. Nya checked emails.

"There's another one from Mindy," she told Jay.

"Is she asking about the spaceship _again?_ " Jay groaned and lowered the camera, his filming mood killed. "This is worse than the collection agency!"

"Aw, relax, Jay. It's nice that she's interested."

"I guess." Jay sighed. "I'm just mad about it myself. How long's it been since we worked on that thing, weeks?"

"I know, it's been forever. But hey—in a day or two we might have all the time in the world. We can just hang around, relax, and work on our spaceship all we want."

"Sounds good." Jay smiled ruefully. "But, uh—the spaceship sounds great, but d'you have any plans for . . . you know, _other_ things?"

"Sure," said Nya. "The spare room really needs tidying."

"You know what I mean," said Jay.

"Hmm?" Nya raised her eyebrows innocently. "Ohh, you're right! The ship's boosters are due for a tuneup."

"Nyaaaaa."

"And Sylvia just sent us a new issue of her alien podcast," said Nya, jerking a thumb at the computer screen. "Looks like things have really taken off for her. Can't wait to listen to that, huh?"

"Okay, fine." Jay sighed and turned to leave. "You win."

"Hey, hold on!" He heard Nya hop up from her chair and patter across the room, and the next second she was tugging him back by the shirt. "Aw, come on Jay, don't get mad."

"I'm not mad," said Jay. Which was true, really; he was used to people messing with him. Didn't mean he was going to stick around for it, though.

"I was just kidding." Nya smiled contritely. "I'm as excited as you are, trust me. As soon as this is over I promise we can go out on a date."

"Heh." Jay blushed, then ventured a smile of his own. "At the grocery store?"

"Oh, I don't know. I was thinking a nice laundromat . . . Maybe the Department of Motor Vehicles . . . You know, stand in line for a while?"

They both laughed. Jay held out his free arm, and Nya scooted in for a quick kiss.

"No, but really. Somewhere cool," she said, winking. "We just need to get out of this in one piece."

* * *

Lloyd had to keep his hair wrapped up in a towel for an hour so the dye could sink in. He passed the time playing video games with Zane. The Nindroid had gotten quite good.

"I regret everything I ever taught you," sighed Lloyd, tossing aside the controller after losing for the fourth time.

"Care to make that an even five out of five?" said Zane.

"Including wisecracking!" Lloyd swiped lightly at the Nindroid. "Ugh, no. Four is enough."

"Come on, one more. I might let you win."

" _Let_ me win?" Lloyd huffed, picking up the controller again. "Just you wait."

While they were playing, Mack came stumping by, tailed by Meep as usual. He limped into the living room and sat down on the sofa, expression sullen. He was a little out of breath—his wounds must still be giving him more trouble than he'd bargained for. Meep turned his attention away from the prisoner for a little while, distracted by the flashing motion on the TV screen.

Lloyd exclaimed in irritation as Zane won again. He gave the Nindroid an irritated look.

"I said _might_ ," said Zane.

Lloyd glared harder.

"Six out of six? . . . "

" _No._ " Lloyd shook his head, laughing in spite of himself, and looked back to Mack. "Hey, do you want a turn?"

Mack rolled his eyes.

"Come onnn." said Lloyd. "I need to sit still another fifteen minutes anyway, and I'm not playing with _him_ anymore." He jerked a thumb at Zane, who blinked uncertainly, then ventured a teasing smile.

Mack squinted at the controller Lloyd held out. After a long moment he reached out and took it, none too eagerly. Half-heartedly he flicked some of the controls, watching their results on-screen.

"Stuff's changed since I was a kid," he remarked.

"I'll go easy on you." Lloyd started up a new game. "I'm pretty good at teaching video games by now."

For a while things were quiet, except for the sounds of the game and an occasional word of advice from Lloyd. Mack wasn't really putting his heart into playing, but he seemed to at least not resent it.

"Good round," said Lloyd after they finished. For a while they were quiet as they waited for the next round to start up.

"Thanks again for helping us out," said Lloyd at last.

"I'm telling you. You're all gonna die."

Lloyd glanced back with a half-smile. He wondered if Mack was just saying that to make himself feel better about selling out the Technicians.

"Kai still can't believe it," he said. "He's been asking all day how I got you to talk."

"Yeah?" Mack snorted. "Congratulations on your conquest."

"It's not like _that_." Lloyd rolled his eyes. "I didn't get you to talk in the first place. You decided to tell us on your own." He chuckled. "Not like I'm telling Kai that, though."

"Oh yeah? So what _do_ you tell him?"

Lloyd grinned.

"Nothing."

Mack shook his head, clearly still dismayed at the grade of protectors Ninjago was stuck with. Still, when Lloyd turned back to the TV to keep playing, he caught a glimpse of Mack's reflection. He could have sworn there was a hint of a dry smile.


	91. Bad Advice Duck

**ARGH. Things are about to get really dodgy here. I have less than a week left, officially, and things are really hectic in RL right now.**

* * *

 **LiaLia15: You know, I'm gonna reply here for a change. Does the app let you see the PMs I send you?  
Thanks! Heh, well . . .  
Hey, she was just doing it 'cos her bosses told her to! :P  
It's really hard to have hobbies when you're a ninja. XD  
Staying alive is always one of their top goals! They don't exactly have a spotless record there, though. *eyes Zane*  
Just the characters, I think. It seems to be set pretty far into the future or something. But yeah. They may claim they're changing the show's looks to please fans coming over from the movie, but I'm willing to bet 80% of the folks seeing the movie will be show fans already. They're overestimating how many people are gonna care about seeing some "Ninjago movie" if they're not already Ninjago fans.  
Plus, heck. If some people DO become new fans because of the movie, they're not gonna be able to understand what's happening wayyyy over here in Season 8. They're gonna have to go back and watch the first seven seasons. With the original designs.**

 **TheAmberShadow: Haha, she wasn't suggesting _thaaaaat_ much. But Zane's a softie, he thinks even mild incitations to vengeance are excessive.  
He doesn't exactly come in like a wrecking ball, but the end result is usually the same. :P  
Oh, thanks for the heads-up! Safe trip. :) Thanks for the review!**

 **RandomDragon: Oh, I see. Well, could you put ShinyShiny9 as the channel name? I'm sort of a channel. On FFN. ^_^'' As to the request, hmmm . . . couldja maybe draw Acronix? :3  
Ooh, grumpfish! A bottom-feeding species. They are unusually aggressive and absolutely cannot be kept with any other fish. :P  
Well, I'm sure the ninja would prefer that variant of venom! Insanity's gotta be at least marginally better than slow painful death.  
Thanks for the review! Good luck with your writing. :)**

 **Jens: It's fine! I totally understand being busy. ^_^''  
They're a resourceful bunch! Mack better know the security system inside-out, though. He has to get through it himself to get to work. :P  
Awwww. ^_^''  
Oh yeah, she and Jay would totally nerd out together. I already know that she has the most in common with Jay.  
It's still guzzling gas, but Nya stops to refuel oftener. Right now she doesn't have time to troubleshoot.  
We're all going! Hope you've brought snacks. :P  
Thanks for the review! Hmmm, I'll see if I can hunt down a Mary to cut. I think I could manage that. :B**

 **Fire Oreo: Well, not so much about the chapter; more about the facts in it. Some of them might need changing. ^_^'' But thanks!  
Jay finds it hard to take things seriously. And in turn the others find it hard to take him seriously. :P  
It's fine! Thanks. :)**

 **Zaptrap: Oooooh. I'm that easy to see through, huh? :3**

 **Anonymous7: GAK, 90. It's time to stop. XD It's fine, though! And thanks. :)  
Heh, Jay can't wait to see everyone. He's just sad he doesn't get to take photos of their disguises.  
Not sure who started the "don't leave us" thing! They all just started saying it at Cole when he started being too boringly mature. :P  
Nah, I don't mind rambling! I appreciate hearing what folks think. :)  
Arrrgh, I know, right? Some of us fans have stayed loyal to this show for more than five years, sticking it out through every plot twist, following these characters as they grew. And now it's suddenly more important to cater to the newbies coming in from the movie? Booooooo. Plus like I said to the other gal, I don't know if the Ninjago movie is even gonna attract that many _new_ fans. And even if they do, they're _still_ gonna have to watch 7 seasons and a TV special with the original character designs. Season 8 hardly makes a difference, in that light.**

 **Kairocksrainbow: Thanks for the review! Yeah, I heard something about the "face rigs" being the same, but I kinda feel like that'll look even weirder, what with the new hair. :P Really nice animation though, yeah!**

 **Zoodirektor: I know, I know, neither do I. But hypothetically . . . ^_^''  
Well yeah, but humans have lasted a pretty long time, and they've taken over the planet. Wouldn't an intelligent parasite do the same? (I mean, the way things go sometimes, I'm ready to call humans a species of intelligent parasites themselves. :P)  
Thanks for the review!**

* * *

 **Oct 9**

 **6:30 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; prisoner on board**

* * *

By that evening they were well established. Cole gathered them around the mess hall table. Most of the long-lasting aspects of their disguises were already set: Nya had a fake scar across her cheek, Cole had some theater putty holding one eye into a squint, and Jay was proudly sporting a henna tattoo on his temple. Lloyd came stomping in last, brushing back his newly brunette hair. Nya had carefully painted on a small mole Elina had on her cheek, as well as darkening his eyebrows. He didn't look overjoyed about any of this.

"I'll be glad when this is over," he sighed, plopping down next to Jay and trying to be invisible.

"Hey, relax," said Kai. "You look fine."

" _Not_ what I wanted to hear."

"I see your point." Kai grinned.

"Smart comments aside," said Jay. "Your hair is _long_."

Lloyd rolled his eyes. When the conversation turned elsewhere, he shot Zane a questioning look. The Nindroid was looking elsewhere and didn't notice.

"So, we're all set for tomorrow," said Cole. "All that's left is to run a quick recon mission to figure out how to approach the place."

Mack had been gnawing on a barbecued rib before this, but now he looked up.

"Y're going out?"

"Yeah, just a quick run in the Empress," said Cole. "Half of us haven't even seen this place before. We need to know just what we're dealing with."

Mack chewed slowly on his mouthful of pork, studying the ninja keenly.

"Tell ya what, I'll go with you," he said.

"Woah, really?" Everyone's attention switched to him.

"Are you feeling up to it?" asked Cole. "We might be sneaking around in the woods and stuff."

"Ah, I'm fine," scoffed Mack. "Easier than sticking around here with _them._ " He gestured his rib at Mopp, who was bunched up on the table staring at him unblinkingly.

The ninja exchanged looks. Taking Mack along would indeed be safer than leaving him here—for him, for the aliens, and for Misako and Wu. They wouldn't have to worry about any funny business while they were out. And an insider's tour of the property would certainly come in handy.

"If you're sure you could handle it," said Cole at last. "We'd really like that."

Mack grunted. For the rest of dinner he sat silently sucking the last of the meat and sauce off his rib. Occasionally Jay noticed his eyes lifting to search the ninjas' faces.

* * *

They were oddly sober as they headed down to the Samurai X cave to pick up the Empress. Mack limped gamely along with them, his gait uneven but swift. Cole was puffing and spitting grumpily every few seconds. The fake beard did not agree with him.

Lloyd glanced over at Zane and smiled in spite of himself. The Nindroid was already wearing his disguise like the rest of them—face paint and a sandy red beard with matching eyebrows. He was wearing a dark-blue hoodie too, and had his hands sunk lackadaisically into the pockets, contrasting with the earnest expression just behind the beard.

"Hey Zane," said Lloyd under his breath. "I'm not scaring you, am I?"

"What?"

"I mean, looking like Elina." Lloyd smiled apologetically. "Y'know. I'm not really thrilled about disguising as the person who helped take you down."

"No, it's fine," said Zane. "A . . . little off-putting at first, perhaps, but I am getting used to it."

Lloyd raised an eyebrow skeptically. He was a bad liar himself, but he was good at catching other bad liars, and Zane was one of the worst.

"I'm not gonna hurtcha," he said. Zane half-shrugged, as if it hadn't occurred to him. Lloyd sighed, but didn't push the matter.

"Say Lloyd, why do you keep jerking your head?" said Jay. "You okay?"

"Jerking my head?"

"Yeah, like just now. You sorta jerked your chin up really fast."

"Oh . . . " Lloyd smiled awkwardly. "I, uh, think that's force of habit. Usually I do that to keep my hair out of my eyes, but now that it's brushed back I . . . yeah."

"Oh, great. Now it's becoming a tic," said Jay. "I'll say it again, kiddo. Your hair is _long_."

"Guys, now's not the time," said Cole from the front. He spat his beard out of his mouth again.

Once they were in the Empress, Lloyd got dibs on driving. He picked the car up to a swift clip and circled around the edges of Ninjago City, knocking out a few streets.

"Hopefully this is the last time we'll have to do this," said Cole.

"I don't know what you mean by 'hopefully'," said Jay, watching the lights blink out around them. "I'm gonna miss this show."

Mack grunted. They were all sitting in a ring with their backs to the EMP generator so they could fit five people into the back of the car, and he was jammed in between Jay and Zane. Zane was snoozing comfortably, his hood draped over his eyes.

"So Mack, now that we're at EMP speed," said Cole. "There's something we should tell you. This isn't really a reconnaissance mission."

"Yeah. It's the real deal," said Jay. "We're breaking in. Right now. Tonight."

Mack raised his eyebrows impassively.

"Sorry we had to keep you in the dark," said Cole. "But we weren't sure if the Technicians hadn't tapped the _Bounty_ one way or another. Just in case they were eavesdropping, we made it sound like we were planning the heist for tomorrow."

"Huh." Mack continued not to care much in either direction. "Wouldn't have guessed."

"Yeah. We couldn't even make a big deal about saying goodbye, or they'd catch on," said Jay. He swallowed hastily before his voice could catch. He was a little scared about that arrangement. It felt so wrong to walk out with only a casual "bye, see ya later," when you were heading out on an incredibly dangerous mission and you weren't entirely sure you'd be coming back. He could hear Lloyd clearing his throat from the front seat too, probably thinking about the lukewarm farewell he'd given Misako. She understood, of course. They'd probably exchanged enough with their eyes alone. Still, Jay felt a little guilty that he'd snuck off to hug the aliens goodbye earlier. Just a little.

"So, that kinda affects you too, Mack," said Nya, twisting around from the passenger seat. "You've signed up for a lot more walking—and maybe running—than you might've been expecting. And we aren't exactly ready to leave you alone in the car while we're gone."

"Nothing personal," said Jay. "Just caution."

Mack grunted again.

"So, are you still up to it?" said Nya.

"Whatever, yeah," said Mack. "I'm fine. Get it over with."

The conversation dropped off after that. They sat in silence, watching dark trees zip by the windows. Jay glanced around at his teammates' faces, unfamiliar in their disguises. Everyone looked so grim. His own heart was beating double-time at the thought of the night ahead. Still, he had to smile at how different everyone looked.

"Man, aren't we all tense?" he ventured to joke. "Feels like I'm riding with a bunch of strangers."

Some half-hearted chuckles. Cole spat out a mouthful of his beard.

The road began to rise and dip. They'd slowed down by now, and Zane was starting to stir sleepily.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"I think we're getting close to Base Zero," said Cole. "Is this the right way, Mack?"

"Uh-huh," grunted Mack. "But don't tell me you plan to park in the garage."

"Well, no," said Cole. "We'll have to pull off somewhere else."

"Driveway's there," said Mack, jerking a thumb out the window. Everyone craned their necks to catch a glimpse as they drove past. All they saw was a boring little gravel side road, surrounded by dense overgrowth. It looked disappointingly like any other private driveway—right down to the mailbox. Jay wondered what kind of mail the Technicians got.

Lloyd drove a little further, then nosedived the car into a ditch by the road. They pulled some bushes over it and left it. Some of them wriggled into overalls or put on wigs to complete their disguises—they'd held off on as much as they could to avoid making Mack suspicious.

They trekked double-file through the dark woods, keeping a respectful distance between themselves and the driveway. Mack walked between Cole and Kai, his jaw sticking out sullenly. Some night creatures called out softly. Late crickets trilled. Every now and then the group would hear a crackle of gravel and the rumbling of a motor, and red and white lights would twinkle distantly through the trees. Jay shivered excitedly every time. Those were Technicians. So close. So unsuspecting.

He hoped unsuspecting, anyway.

From the front, Nya held out her arms for a halt.

"The woods end just ahead," she whispered.

They gathered at the edge of the trees, peering down into the dale with the little farm. Some dim lights glowed from inside the farmhouse's first floor. As the ninja watched, the double doors of the barn squeaked open and clicked shut, while a pair of dark figures ambled towards the farmhouse. They disappeared through the front door.

"Let's give them plenty of time to get in ahead of us," whispered Cole. "We'll make a dash for it when the coast is clear."

The wait was agonizing. For good measure a second car showed up, and they had to wait for that crew to get ahead of them too. Jay started to worry the staff arrived in fifteen-minute increments.

After that, though, nobody arrived for a long time. Cole signaled to move out. They all shot across the lawn, then slowed to a casual stroll once they reached the pathway between the garage and house. The front door wasn't locked. Jay could've sworn his heart was knocking against his tonsils as they stepped inside.

It was a really boring hallway. Stark empty, a dirty wood floor, ugly bland wallpaper peeling off the walls. Something creaked in a nearby room, and everyone nearly had a heart attack. Except Mack, who walked on calmly.

One by one the ninja followed. From the corner of his eye Jay saw someone sitting in an adjoining room, hunched over a desk, his back to the hallway. Jay gulped. Too close, wayyyyyy too close. This guy better not decide to get up and chat with the newcomers.

They reached the end of the hall. There was a door that looked like it should lead to a coat closet, only there was a keypad and a blinking "down" button next to it. Cole slotted in the ID card he'd lifted off Marco Dumas.

"Let's hope they haven't changed the access code," he mumbled, punching in 6499. The keypad beeped irately.

"Shoot."

"Let me," whispered Jay. Stepping forward, he pressed a finger to either side of the keypad, willing his heart to stop buzzing in his ears so he could concentrate.

"Quit twitchin'," groused Mack under his breath. "People stand in front of the elevator all the time. It takes forever to get up the shaft."

Cole nodded slightly, keeping his gaze fixed casually ahead. Everyone tried to look chill. And to not sneak glances at the security cameras aimed at the elevator door.

The adrenaline sped up Jay's senses, and he pulled out the passcode in only a few seconds. It had been changed to 8453. The elevator made a horrific grinding, groaning noise as it approached. Finally something crashed behind the door.

"It's ready," said Mack.

Cole pulled open the closet door, and behold, there was an elevator. A round one, no less. The seven of them squeezed into the dimly-lit cylinder.

"You can relax," said Mack as a pair of pneumatic doors slid closed, covering the closet door. "There's no cameras in here."

Kai was about to say something, but at that moment the elevator started to move.

It went sideways.

Or at least, it felt that way. Everyone had been subconsciously bracing for a straight downwards drop, like with normal elevators. Instead, this one started to rotate, making a nasty screeching noise. Everyone keeled over like a handful of pickup sticks.

"What's happening?" yelped Jay.

"Geez, chill," said Mack, rolling his eyes. He was the only one still standing, one hand blandly braced against the wall. "Our elevator turns like a screw instead'a going straight up and down. Slow as hell, but it saves on energy. And the need for good brakes."

Mack clearly wasn't lying about the brakes bit, because the elevator spun faster and faster as it descended. Jay was starting to feel a significant amount of centrifugal force by the time they reached the bottom. With a bump, the spinning stopped.

"Mannn . . . " groaned Cole dizzily. "Now I know how lettuce feels in a salad spinner."

The pneumatic doors crashed open. The ninja peered out at a surprisingly lofty cavern, its high arched ceiling ribbed with stone furrows. A concrete walkway led away from the elevator. The whole thing was surprisingly brightly-lit, with lights similar to a supermarket's.

"No cameras here either," said Mack, stepping out. "Silica placed all her bets on the aboveground part. 'sides, we didn't have time to set up a wired camera system, and wireless doesn't work through all this rock."

Jay paused to pull a few wires out of the elevator's control panel.

"Now we don't have to worry about more Technicians coming in behind us," he explained to Mack. "Nobody's getting down this way."

"You're also not going back up," said Mack.

"Eh, I can fix it pretty fast if we need it." Jay shrugged. He just hoped he wouldn't have to do that under pressure.

Meanwhile, Kai tilted his head.

"What's that sound?" he said. "That weird roaring. That's not the computers, is it? It almost sounds like . . . a train? The ocean?"

"I do smell water," said Nya. "That algae smell."

"Uh-huh. You'll see in a sec." Mack limped ahead. The ninja trotted after him, keeping alert to their surroundings.

"You doing okay?" said Lloyd, noticing that Mack was hunching slightly over his wounds. "Are you sure you'll be able to make it?"

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Mack. For a few steps they were silent.

"So. If the blue kid can hack everything anyway," said Mack, "how come you had to take the others' info to get past the security systems?"

"Ah, he can only hack stuff after he's practiced," said Lloyd. "He's tried a lot of keypads. Retina scanners, not so much."

"Huh."

The sound of water was unmistakable now. A rushing, thundering note cut through the duller rumble in the background.

"Is there a _waterfall_ in here?" Jay had to legitimately raise his voice a little to be heard.

"Actually, there is."

Mack's timing was good. At exactly that moment they stepped around a corner, and there on their right was an underground waterfall.

The concrete pathway continued, with some railings added on either side. To the right of it was a sheer stone wall, about twenty feet away from the path's edge. Water spurted from just below the ceiling, tumbling down past the path in frothing white folds. On the left of the path was a yawning abyss, tapering from supermarket-lit to dusky to pitch black. Water roared from somewhere deep below.

". . . Okay," said Jay after a minute. "You guys went a little overboard on the lobby fountain."

"This waterfall is not natural," said Zane, gazing up at the torrent with as much interest as anybody. "It hasn't worn away the wall where it exits."

"You got it, Ironsides." Mack leaned against a railing, catching his breath. "What, you thought we carved a giant underground warehouse by hand? Get the hell out. This place used to be a huge cavern carved by an underground stream. Silica just found a few Constrictai to straighten out the edges a bit, put up some walls. Then we redirected the stream up over the ceiling."

"Ingenious," murmured Zane. "The water flowing overhead must help to cool the warehouse. I expect it is also being used for hydroelectric power?"

"Right again." Mack grunted. "It's not like we could keep a giant power drain in the middle of nowhere a secret."

"Truly remarkable," said Zane.

"Understatement of the week," said Jay.

They paused to look at the waterfall for a while. It was a little risky stopping—some Technicians might walk by here on their way out—but Mack was still short of breath, so they figured they'd better wait anyway.

The path by the waterfall was wet with mist. Jay leaned on the slickery railing, reaching out as far as he could. He couldn't quite touch the foaming water, but he felt a thick curtain of spray brush his fingers.

"Ew. It's actually really warm," he said.

"Not surprising, considering they use it as a heat sink," said Kai. "Hey, don't lean so far."

Reflexively Jay looked down. The abyss wasn't nearly as deep on this side of the path—he could easily see to the bottom. It was gently sloping, scattered with smooth flat rocks. The waterfall shattered among them, churned, and passed underneath the walkway in a raging stream. Not a pleasant drop.

"We should get going," said Cole, after they'd all had themselves a good long look. "This is cool and all, but we won't get to enjoy it much if the Technicians catch us."

Jay shook himself, startled. For a while he'd been so mesmerized by the water he'd forgotten the mission. Nya looked around.

"Uh, where's Mack?"

Everyone started and looked around frantically.

"Hey, over there!" Jay pointed further down the path. "Where're you going?!"

Mack was hightailing it down the path with a lurching gallop, clearly bent on getting out of dodge.

"Get back here!" The ninja launched after him. Jay shot ahead of the others, caught up to Mack easily, and tackled him down to the path. Something flew from Mack's hand and cartwheeled across the concrete, out of his grasp. Snarling, he bucked Jay off and dove for the object, but Jay was already diving for it too. A brief scuffle, then Jay rolled out onto his back.

"Hey, guys!" He paused to bunny-kick Mack, who was hurtling at him. "I found the senior phone."

"Ohhhhhhhhh—" Kai sounded like he wanted to add a noun but couldn't choose which one.

"Yeah." Jay grinned tightly. He wasn't sure if he was triumphant or disappointed. He waited till Cole and Kai were holding Mack back by the arms before checking the phone's screen. "Yep, it's the senior one. Oooooh, and here are some texts going out to a number we do not know. In progress: 'Change of plans the ninja are attacking tonight ACT NOW.'"

A bit of silence. After a moment Lloyd gave Mack a look of the deepest possible disappointment.

"I bet actual money on you . . . "

"Oh, is that your worst problem?" Mack's voice was a breathless, uneven growl. His wounds must not be doing him any favors.

"I'd say so. That was more than two thousand ken," said Lloyd. Jay had to give him props. He must be dizzy with betrayal right now, but he was playing it so cool you'd actually believe he only cared about the bet.

"No, but seriously, we do have worse problems." Cole tugged Mack back as he struggled. "He's told Nash we're coming in early. The mission's shot."

"No it isn't!" Jay waved the phone. "He never got to hit 'Send.' We're still in the clear! I . . . think." He began to scroll through earlier texts. "Oh man, guys, listen to this! 'Chief, it's Mack. I've got hold of one of the ninjas' phones. They're planning to attack Base Zero on the tenth.' And now another one: 'I fed them the wrong info. When they're held up in the security system, your squads can pick them off. They should get stuck at the thumb scanner'—thumb?!"

"So not index finger," said Cole. "Man. Good thing we took casts of _all_ their fingers."

Mack's head snapped up. Jay nodded blandly and looked back to the phone. "So. 'Thumb scanner, but if they get past that they'll also be held up at the iris scanner—'"

"Great, got those too," said Nya.

"'—and the voice recog.'"

"Covered," said Zane in Brett's voice.

Mack had stopped struggling, his face a mixture of chagrin and amazement.

"Well, don't look so surprised," said Cole. "We also took their palm prints."

"And detailed scans of their faces," said Zane.

"And snips of hair in case there was a DNA test," said Nya.

"And honestly, we let you believe our mission was tomorrow for a _reason_ ," said Jay.

"Yeah . . . we didn't trust you very much." Kai gave Mack a viciously sweet smile. "Nothing personal."

Mack snarled.

"Great, we've got the upper hand now!" said Nya. "We know the real security measures, and nobody knows we're in early. Really our only problem now is what to do with Mack."

Mack made some progress towards solving this problem for them. Yanking hard, he tore himself free of Kai's grip, slammed Cole aside, and dove for Jay. He snatched the phone out of Jay's hands and rolled, already scrabbling to activate the screen.

"No, don't let him!—" yelped Kai. Jay lunged after the man, his feet splashing on the wet concrete as they passed the waterfall. Just as his fingers brushed the phone's case, Mack jabbed "Send." Then, almost in the same motion, he grabbed Jay's arm, swung him around, and pitched him into the railing. Jay teetered for a second, metal digging into the small of his back. Then Mack shoved him over the edge.

* * *

 **A/N: So. I'm not sure how things are gonna go from here on out. I have maybe one more chapter already written. I can try to churn out a few more in the upcoming days and post them on a completely random schedule. After that . . . good question. What would you guys say if I posted a complete synopsis of the rest of the plot? And then tried to keep writing it properly in the meantime.**


	92. Name, Quest, Favorite Color

***Pokes head cautiously through doorway* 'Allo?**

 ***Withdraws hastily***

 ***Several minutes later a chapter clatters down the chimney***

* * *

 **Jens: 'fraid so. He's a hard man to sway. :/  
Yeah, a synopsis is basically like a summary! I'm hoping to finish the story properly somehow, sometime, but for now I'd put up a summary juuuust in case. ^_^''  
Thanks for the reviews! See ya. ^_^  
**

 **RandomDragon: Thanks so much! It's awesome. :3  
Well, they are bottom-feeders. :P And their grumpfish instincts tend more towards devouring Lloydfish than to playing nicely with them.  
Whoooohoooo! Writing "flow" is the best ever thing. :3  
Nice! Some good characterization there. :) Haha, I know the feeling of wanting to work multiple stories at once . . . been there.  
Thanks for the review! And the one on Backstage with Jay, too. It's a cool request! And I do enjoy writing Kai and Nya sibling fluff. But I don't think I'm taking requests right now**— **heck, I still haven't gotten around to a bunch of requests from months ago. Kinda swamped. Sorry. ^_^''**

 **Zaptrap: Yep! Definitely pumping out at least one more chapter (this one), and definitely a summary! But you don't have to read it if you'd rather wait for proper chapters. ^_^''  
Thanks very much! Sorry about the delay.**

 **OliviaTheDragon: Thanks for the reviews! Well, not myself, but I have ancestors who are. :) Heh, is it the brothers or Junior who are more hyped? :P**

 **BlazeraptorGirl: Thanks for the review! Huh, you can delete sent texts? Didn't know that . . . Either way though, Nash is probably siting right by his phone at all times now, he's not missing that one. :/**

 **awesomeness2.053: Thanks very much!**

 **Zoodirektor: ^_^  
Evolutionarily, probably nothing special, sure. But we did kinda take over the planet and develop technology to exploit it and learn to domesticate other animals and stuff. Even if the intelligent parasites only lasted a short time on an evolutionary scale, they'd probably still be pretty dang successful while they were around. So going back to the original point, I think we'd still have worse problems. :P  
**

 **Anonymous7: Thanks for the review! Oh yeah, Cole is always annoyed by it. He just can't figure out what the others are getting at, though. XD  
That's fine! I know lots of folks who are.  
Since the first season. ^_^ I almost dropped out by the end of Season 2, but Rebooted dragged me back in. :P  
Summer was already over for me at that point, and it's reallllllly over now. XD But thanks for asking!**

 **Kairocksrainbow: I don't know, he's a very daring guy. :P  
Heh, as you can see, I did. I'm what, a month late now? X'D  
As Helen Murray once said, "Please don't ask me to relax. It's only the tension that's holding me together." :P But thanks!**

* * *

 **Oct 9**

 **8:33 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist; Jay under a large waterfall**

* * *

For a second the frothing white of the falls filled up Jay's entire field of vision. Then suddenly a warm, flexible, incredibly heavy weight slammed into every inch of him. Everything went surprisingly quiet. It was gray, then black, then white, then gray again, and he had absolutely no sense of up or down. He didn't really register the lack of air. He didn't really register anything. Hazily he realized he was probably about to die.

Everything went dark for a little while. After a bit his surroundings seemed to change. Everything seemed less heavy, and someone was shaking his shoulder violently.

"Jay, wake up! Wake up! Hey! This isn't funny! Wake _up!_ "

Hmm. When Cole sounded that worried you knew something serious was going on. Might want to check on that. After a moment of figuring out where exactly his eyes were located, Jay managed to crack his eyelids open. He blinked groggily up at the dark blur he supposed was Cole.

"Oh, phew." The earth ninja finally stopped trying to detach his shoulder. "There you are."

Jay opened his mouth to reply, but water started coming out instead of words, and then it just kept coming, and everything burned and he wanted so desperately to take a breath but every time he tried his lungs would constrict more instead and he'd retch more water, and overall he was very miserable for a while. Cole pushed him over so he could prop himself up on his hands.

At last Jay's insides stopped convulsing and he was able to take a shuddering, choking gasp of air. To his immense relief his breathing resumed, although punctuated by coughs and spurts of water. It felt like his lungs were full of gravel. Eventually the coughs tapered off as well.

"Okay now?" Cole patted his shoulder. Jay gave an exhausted groan and flopped down onto his stomach, still wheezing.

"Hey, you're fine. Relax and breathe."

Jay coughed resentfully. He felt mortified at creating such a scene. Nearly drowning was so uncool.

"Nothing broken?" said Cole. "That was some drop."

Jay eyed the waterfall woozily. He was on the stony bank right now, just under the concrete pathway, but the mist from the falls was still washing over him with a gross warm prickly sensation. Boiling white foam slammed onto the rocks and leaped in every direction. Had he really been in _there?_ He was surprised he hadn't splattered just like the water.

"I know you're probably not feeling too great," said Cole, "but we should get going as soon as we can. The others are out chasing Mack, but even if they catch him, the text's already been sent. The Technicians know we're here."

"I'm sorry," said Jay hoarsely.

"It's not your fault." Cole didn't sound _angry_ , exactly . . . but you could tell it was a lot of effort. They'd been so careful. They'd prepared so intensely. They'd come so _close_. Now here they were, right on the Technicians' doorstep, and they had to turn around and run like kittens meeting a German Shepherd. All because they—especially Jay—hadn't been able to catch Mack just a _little_ sooner.

Honestly he wouldn't have blamed Cole for being angry with him. He was pretty furious with himself.

They started to climb back up the cord from Cole's grappling hook. The wire rope was slippery with mist, so it was slow going. They'd only gone a few feet when an unfamiliar head poked over the railing far above. Jay had a mini-heart attack, thinking they'd been discovered, but then he realized it was just Kai in disguise.

"Hey, you're okay!" he shouted down, waving.

"Yeah. You catch Mack?" Cole shouted back.

"No!"

Jay sighed.

Once they got back onto the pathway, Nya latched onto Jay and set to work crushing his already-bruised ribs—not that he had any objections.

"I can't believe you survived that," said Lloyd. "We saw you washing ashore, but we weren't sure if . . . "

"Well," rasped Jay, "I'm definitely the cleanest I'm ever gonna be."

"Ya think? Holy cow, your hair dye is bleeding," said Kai.

Jay lifted one hand (as best he could around Nya) and felt at his hair. It came away stained with brunette dye. He raised his eyebrows. That stuff wasn't supposed to come off with _soap_.

"I guess I should be glad it didn't go all the way and take off my hair, huh?" He laughed weakly. "No sign of Mack?"

"Nah." Kai shook his head regretfully. "He ran deeper into the passage, so we thought we could catch him at the first security door, but it turns out there's this giant chamber just up ahead. The path goes straight across, but there are lots of caves and tunnels branching off on either side. He must have disappeared into one of those."

A moment of regretful silence.

"Well." Lloyd pushed back his mist-dampened hair. "This was a mistake."

Jay shifted from foot to foot, wondering if he should say something. Part of him wanted to brush the whole incident aside as insignificant. Something felt wrong about just letting a trusting innocent Lloydfish become a cynic. On one hand he had to agree with Kai, it was probably a lot safer for Lloyd and all those around him, but . . .

"You okay?" he said at last, because he figured that was at least a start.

"You're asking _me?_ " Lloyd gave him a disbelieving smile.

"Ah, you know." Jay shrugged, trying to wick dripping hair dye away from his eyes. "Getting tossed down waterfalls is kinda in my job description. I guess. But, y'know, you staked a lot on that Mack guy. I guess that's gotta hurt."

"Who, me?" Lloyd forced a laugh. "Sure. I've got an ache about the size of two thousand ken."

Kai rolled his eyes.

"I'm not about to ask you to pay up."

"But I—"

"Forget it. You've been through enough."

"I . . . " Lloyd searched for words for a second, then shook his head and turned away. "Okay, let's save that for later. We have to get out of here. They might not be able to get down the elevator, but they could still send out the Technicians who are inside the warehouse right now."

Reluctantly they turned to leave. Cole bent to pick up the senior phone, which was lying abandoned in a puddle of water.

"Guess Sensei and Misako are gonna want this back," he mumbled. "Ugh, it's all wet. Is it busted?" Wiping off the screen with one hand, he tried to turn the device on. It seemed to still be working fine. Ruefully Cole glanced at the screen, where the text messenger was still open. Then his eyes went wide. After a second he broke into a huge grin.

"Uh, you guys? . . . We're under a ceiling of solid rock."

"Don't remind me," said Jay. "So?"

" _So,_ there's no signal! The message didn't send!"

"Say _what?!_ "

Never before had a lack of cell signal led to this much enthusiastic positivity.

"No no no, hold on, this is too good to be true." Kai took the phone to have a look himself. "How's this work? Mack's been here before, wouldn't he know there wasn't any service?"

"There might be pockets of it," said Cole. "The message might send if we get into a spot with signal. We've gotta figure out some way to keep that from—"

Kai had already flicked out a sai, twirled it deftly around one hand, and rammed it straight through the phone. The others started at the crunch of circuitboards and tempered glass. Kai dragged the phone off the blade with an ugly screeching noise, then casually tossed it into the waterfall.

"Moving on?" he said blandly.

"Geez, Kai. Misako and Sensei mighta needed that phone."

Kai rolled his eyes and struck off down the pathway, deeper into Base Zero. The others skittered after him. In the adjoining cave everyone looked around surreptitiously, checking if Mack wasn't lurking somewhere just off the path, but they reached the next security door without incident.

"Well, let's see how this goes." Kai pulled out the fake thumbprints and carefully fitted one to the scanner. Without hesitation the device chimed amiably, and the metal doors scraped open.

"Awesome." Kai grinned.

The next door was only a few yards ahead. This was the iris scanner. It also opened without issue.

"This is almost too easy!" exulted Jay as they plowed onwards.

"Who's complaining?" said Cole.

"Let us not get too excited," said Zane. "I am a little uncertain about my ability to match the Technicians' voices. I didn't have the largest sample size to base my imitation upon, and my speakers do not perfectly emulate a human voice."

"Relaaaax, Zane," said Jay. "You sound just like 'em."

Hesitantly Zane stepped up to the voice scanner. It was a small LED screen with a microphone and speaker below it. A phrase was printed on the screen for Zane to repeat. He studied it, then made a small throat-clearing sound, preparing himself. Jay chuckled softly, wondering if Zane actually needed to clear his throat or if he just made the sound to feel more human.

"Passcode," said Zane, his voice sounding completely alien. "Forty-four, robes, twenty-six, omega."

Everyone jumped when the scanner made an angry buzzing sound. There was a sudden _k'chack!_ , and Zane leaped back as something small and hard crashed against his titanium shell. There were several more metallic pings as a hail of small objects showered from the walls.

"What, what's happening?!" yelped Jay. Zane looked around, bewildered and a little shellshocked. Finally he blinked down at the streams of green fluid dribbling down his arms and front.

"This is . . . venom."

"Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine, of course. But I don't think anyone else in this position would be . . . "

"That was close," agreed Kai faintly.

"Indeed." Zane crouched to pick up a tiny syringe-like object. "Look at these. They are designed to be fired like bullets. An incorrect security signature must trigger their release from up there." He nodded at some devices bolted to the walls on either side of the door. Among all the other mechanisms involved in the scanner and the (rather primitive) door operation, the venom guns had escaped the ninjas' attention.

"How are you so calm?!" sputtered Jay. "That is VENOM! They were shooting to kill! Kai and Nya were operating those other doors, and if anything had gone wrong, that would have been THEM!"

"Well aware of that, Jay," said Kai tightly.

"They might not have had a chance to install the venom darts on all of the doors yet," said Zane. "And there is a chance you might have escaped alive either way. Look at this syringe, it still has venom in it. This one is empty, but it did not spill venom onto my arm. It's unsurprising that the design is imperfect—after all, they have attempted to design a syringe that does not discharge its contents upon being fired, but is still sensitive enough to inject a victim upon impact. I estimate a success rate of only about 30%."

"Oh, great, that's so comforting," said Kai. "I'll be sure to stand as close as possible the next time I'm entering probably-faulty security info."

"That may not become a problem," said Zane. "We may not get past _this_ door."

They all paused and looked soberly at the metal doorway, which was still very tightly closed.

"I could break it," offered Cole. Normally he might've had patience for something a little more subtle, but not right now.

"No, lemme," said Jay. He edged cautiously up to the doorway and began to poke at the voice recognition module. "Ohhh, man. This is complex."

Everyone stood around for a while, shifting from foot to foot. Jay kept tapping and sliding his fingers along the edges of the device. There were way too many electrical signatures inside it, and they weren't in any kind of familiar pattern.

"I'm getting there," said Jay awkwardly, glancing over his shoulder. "Gimme some time."

"Ahhh, I'm done with this." Cole took a few steps back and wound up to charge at the door.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Cole, you'll only—" began Jay. Cole was already barreling headlong at the doorway. Just as he was about to hit it, it opened. There were two Technicians standing just behind it, but they didn't stay standing for long.

"Phew!" After a brief row, Cole sat up and rubbed at his head. "Well, that works too."

The doors had closed again, but they were all on the correct side now. They pulled the two downed Technicians off to the side where they could rest comfortably but hopefully not attract any attention. Then they headed on to the next door, the final one with the barcode scanner. Silently Zane pointed up at the venom guns installed in the walls. Jay gulped.

"Well." Kai looked from one venom gun to the other, then shrugged resignedly. "It's not like we can turn back now." He looked to Jay, nodding for him to step up to the scanner.

"Ugh . . . " Jay fidgeted back a tiny bit, rubbing his elbow. "L-lemme work up to it."

Kai rolled his eyes, but complied. He waited, arms folded, as Jay eyed the venom guns and carefully inched closer, working up the nerve to remain at an ever-smaller distance from the wall. The others waited as well.

"Straighten yourselves up," said Nya, adjusting her overall straps. "We can't afford to look like we've been through a brawl."

"But we _have_. Several," said Lloyd.

"Still can't afford it," said Nya. "If we look scruffy we might attract unwanted attention."

"What about us?" said Jay, pointing to himself and Cole. "We're soaking. People are going to look at us weird, and then someone will come over to ask what happened to us, and then they'll see we're—" Abruptly he performed a U-turn and started heading the other way. "Nope, nope, we should go."

Cole caught him by the back of the collar and tugged him back, sighing.

"Get back here, Jay. You and I can go do something out of sight instead of posing as Technicians."

"But—"

"The rest of you guys, split into pairs too," said Cole. "It'll be easier to keep track of each other, since our phones won't work."

"Nya's with me," said Kai at once.

Nya opened her mouth, looking irritated, but Cole cut in smoothly.

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Nya, you're good at keeping him in line, right?"

"Oh. Sure." Nya subsided, mollified, but now _Kai_ looked irritated. Jay stifled a smile, forgetting his anxiety for a moment. He had to give Cole points for quick thinking in drama avoidance.

"All right, we're set then," said Cole. "Jay, Kai, come on, before anyone else comes through these doors."

"Geeeeez . . . " Jay looked miserably up at the venom guns, their muzzles staring back at him like dark soulless eyes. He'd already nearly died once today. He felt like that ought to be the federal limit or something. Cole pushed him lightly from behind.

"G'wan. They won't go off unless your code is wrong. And it's probably not wrong."

"Did you have to say 'probably,'" muttered Jay. He really, really, really wanted to put up more resistance, but he was already aware that this wasn't a very good show in front of Nya and he could do without getting the guys fed up with him too. Sighing, he edged up next to Kai.

"Hey, you were the one who was so eager to use these barcodes," said the fire ninja, tugging him into position.

"At the grocery store," said Jay bitterly. "Where the self-checkout machine will not use deadly force."

"You don't know. It might reject your coupons." Kai gave up trying to drag Jay's arm up next to his own. "Jay, cooperate or this machine will for _sure_ shoot us both. I don't want to die any more than you do."

Setting his teeth, Jay held up his hand next to Kai's and carefully aligned their palms. He hoped his hand wasn't shaking as much as he thought it was.

"Okay, don't mess up the alignment," said Kai tightly. "Readyyyyy . . . go."

Jay hastened to keep his hand properly positioned as they reached for the glinting red mist of the scanning laser. He could feel all his muscles tighten as he waited for a rejection buzz and the bite of a hypodermic needle. He wanted to close his eyes, but heaven knew he kind of needed to see what he was doing.

A bar of red light flooded his and Kai's fingertips. As they slid their palms fully under the scanner, their entire hands were drenched in a morbid scarlet, the barcode lines standing out like dark scars. Jay watched numbly, enthralled.

 _Beep._

Everyone started violently. The doors gave a pained screech and started to scrape open.

"Phhhhew." Jay felt a little better when he heard Kai giving an identical sigh of relief from next to him.

"Hey." Nya laughed shakily. "It works."

Jay would have liked to just stand still for a bit and feel his non-essential biological systems restarting, but Cole was already pushing him from behind again.

"Go, go! That door won't stay open forever!"

It ended up being really close. Cole was the last to dive between the screeching metal panels, and they closed on the pant cuff of his overalls. He tugged fiercely for a second and finally ripped free, stumbling backwards into Kai.

"Easy," whispered Kai urgently, steadying him. "We're in."

Everyone turned their attention from the door to their surroundings. Jay felt himself break into an amazed grin. There was a giant white room in front of them, packed with row upon row of towering metal shelves. The ceiling, crisscrossed with steel rafters and cooling ducts, was easily thirty feet up. Somewhere among the shelves handcarts rumbled. The whole thing could just as well have been a wholesale warehouse store.

"Hooo boy." Cole glanced from one side of the room to the other, then at the six of them. "We've got our work cut out for us."

* * *

 **A/N: Gah. Sorry about the delay, guys! Summary of remaining story is gonna go up . . . sometime. The actual story, who knows when? I'll see what I can do.**

 **Thanks so much again to everyone who's been reading this! Hope you had a good summer, and good luck with school or work or whatever else you have going on in life. :)**


	93. Snooping As Usual

***Attempts to write summary of remaining story***

 ***Hand slips***

 ***Hand slips a lot***

 **Have a chapter, fellas. ^_^**

* * *

 **Oct 9**

 **9:53 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist, situation generally perilous**

* * *

"This is awesome," murmured Jay, breathing in deeply. He and Cole had climbed up into the giant room's rafters to avoid being seen while they scoped the place out. For now they were watching the other four dispersing in two pairs, trying to look like respectable Technicians. Jay wondered how they were going to communicate the plan to everyone even after they came up with it.

Still, right now he was in no mood to worry. Below the shelves were packed with electronics, most of them laptops and larger. Power lights blinked everywhere. The room hummed with a low chorus from thousands of cooling fans, and every now and then a burst of warm, silicon-scented air would puff into the rafters. You might as well have plunked him into a world made of ice cream and peppermint frosting.

Cole seemed much less blissed-out. He had spent the last few minutes ripping off his beard, since he no longer needed it. Now he was already twitching and shifting impatiently, glancing around as he tried to figure out their next step.

"We need to get moving," he whispered. "This place is huge, and we don't have much time before—"

Abruptly a deafening noise split the air around them. It was a melodic three-note jingle, a kind of pleasant _do-re-do!_ , but it was so loud the rafters vibrated beneath Jay's feet.

 _Unit Six, Four, Four, A,_ blared an indistinct female voice. _Please report to Aisle, 8, for: replacement. Repeat, please report to Aisle, 8, for: replacement._

The speakers cut out with a pop. Jay and Cole took a moment to sort themselves out.

"Woah," said Jay at last. "Just like at the hardware store."

"What the heck was that?" demanded Cole, peering resentfully down at the speaker fastened just below them.

"Like I said, at the hardware store. Havencha ever been to one?" Jay waved down at the shelves below. "They're telling the workers where to go."

"And do _what?_ " said Cole, still rubbing one ear.

"Replace stuff, obviously." Jay rolled his eyes. "Probably dead computers."

"All those people?" Cole looked down at the knots and islets of workers. "How fast do computers die?"

"What, in here? They probably drop like flies. I mean, just _look_ at them."

Cole raised an eyebrow, then peered down at the shelves crammed with warm molded plastic. After a good long moment of searching he looked back up at Jay again, his eyebrow raised even higher.

"Well, look. Nothing homemade is ever as efficient as the real deal." Jay settled down on a large cooling pipe, trying his best not to sound _too_ condescending. He was already enjoying being the expert here. "I mean, these computers were designed to write school papers and play Magic Mariner, and instead they're being forced to act as a supercomputer database monster. They're hotwired together like zombie Christmas lights. They're probably on the electrical equivalent of a stomach tube. Of course they're dying left and right! They're in _agony_ down there."

"They're machines, Jay," groaned Cole.

"Oh, ya think?" Jay folded his arms. "They're probably sentient."

Cole's head snapped up.

"Wait, _what?!_ "

"You force-rig enough processing power, who knows what could happen." Jay tried to meet Cole's wide-eyed stare solemnly, but eventually he couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from twitching.

"Well, okay, so it's a possibility. A small one."

Cole looked at him for a moment longer, then gave a long-suffering sigh and opened his mouth to say something. Before he could start, another deafening _do-re-do!_ scared the teeth out of them both.

 _Unit Two, Eight, Nine, B. Please report to Aisle, 14. Repeat, please report to Aisle, 14._

They both pulled themselves together again. Cole resumed glaring.

"Would you quit playing games?" he whispered irately. "I have enough on my mind without worrying that we're about to kill a sentient being!"

Jay held up his hands placatingly.

"Okay, okay, so that's really low on our list of worries right now."

"Thank you," grumbled Cole. He leaned on his elbows for a while, watching the Technicians moving around below. His eyes roved sharply as he mentally tested various plans. Jay squirmed beside him, impatient. They had limited time here. It couldn't possibly be too long before someone noticed the elevator wasn't working, or found those guys they'd knocked out. Or Mack could even right now be contacting Silica. Or _Nash_.

"Okay, so here's the plan," Cole said at last. "We find the others and tell them to start sabotaging. They keep posing as workers fixing the computers, but actually they're breaking them. Meanwhile you and I can sneak around knocking out computers ourselves. If the system is really as creaky as you make it sound, it should break down before anyone notices what we're doing, right?"

"Not a chance," said Jay immediately. Cole blinked, looking a little disappointed with how fast his plan had been shot down.

"They really are strung up like Christmas lights, you know," said Jay. "One bulb goes out, the others stay lit. When a computer dies, the ones around it probably take over its job until someone replaces it. We'd have to kill hundreds of computers before it started overloading."

"Crud," muttered Cole.

"Also, those messages," said Jay. Conveniently another _do-re-do!_ went off in that moment, rattling the rafter bolts.

 _Unit two, eight, five, B. Please report to Aisle, Twenty, for: fuse check. Repeat, please report to Aisle, Twenty._

Cole and Jay held their ears until the artificial voice was finished. Shaking out his ringing head, Jay pointed down at the speaker.

"They're telling people exactly where to find the broken computers," he said. "Which means, any time a computer stops working—"

"—They know about it," finished Cole, sighing. For a moment they were both quiet, thinking.

"Hey, one question," said Cole suddenly. " _Who_ knows about it?"

Jay raised his eyebrows.

"Well, I guess whoever must be monitoring the—" He broke into a grin. "Ohhhhhh."

"You don't think they'd have a computer program doing that, right?" said Cole.

"Not too likely." Jay was still grinning.

"Well then, I think it's time this place had a few layoffs." Cole started to climb along the nearest cooling pipe. "Let's go find the control room."

"Hah," said Jay, falling in behind him. "I told you hooking together more processing power could get you places!"

"Yeah?" Cole snorted amusedly. "How many of us would it take to get sentient?"

* * *

 **Silica:** Hey Cap?

 **Silica:** Cap.

 **Silica:** CAP.

 **Silica:** Cap, you're #$%ing me, right? You are NOT already asleep at this hour.

 **CapsLock:** HOly FSM woman wht is it? I'm lseping.

 **Silica:** You are the lamest. Anyway, I just got a message from one of the crew. The elevator's not working.

 **CapsLock:** You wok me up for that? #$% you.

 **Silica:** Cool it, geez.

 **Silica:** You remember how Blue's been all dodgy and edgy and lurking around Base Zero lately trying to install stuff? I think he suspects a ninja attack.

 **CapsLock:** And you think that's why the elevator's broken? It's not like it's never broken before.

 **Silica:** I knowww, but this time might be different!

 **CapsLock:** Ugh. Well, what do you want me to do about it?

 **Silica:** Not go back to sleep. I'm monitoring the base right now. If anything weird happens, we've gotta do something.

* * *

Lloyd and Zane cast nervous glances at each other. They weren't too worried about staying in a pair, since lots of the other people in the building were also wandering around in twos. Their main problem right now was knowing what to do. So far they had been pacing through the aisles trying to look like they had somewhere important to go, but soon enough they were gonna run out of aisles. They had to look busy.

The room rang with another automated order from overhead. Zane half-listened.

"It seems the main task of all these Technicians is to maintain these computers," he said. "We should do the same. I have seen some of them checking wiring, while others seem to be removing and replacing computers that no longer function."

"I . . . don't know how to do that," said Lloyd. He smiled grimly. "Guess I'll have to fake it till I make it."

They found a random aisle and began to work down one side. Lloyd gingerly pulled out tangles of wires from in between computers, while Zane examined the crude connections between stripped ends.

"Do you actually know what you're doing?" asked Lloyd, watching with interest as Zane paused to twist together two loose wires.

"Somewhat," said Zane.

"Huh. I'm with you, Kai's with Nya, and Cole's with Jay. Every pair has someone who knows technology," said Lloyd. "Guess we picked the right way to split up."

"I suppose so, yes," said Zane absently.

"What. You're not still scared of me, are you?"

"No, no." Zane glanced over his shoulder as a Technician passed them by. "I have . . . much bigger things to worry about."

"Heh." Lloyd turned his head to hide his face. "Point."

"I hope Jay and Cole are having better luck than we are," said Zane.

* * *

Finding the control room was proving to be tricky. Cole and Jay tried following the wiring of the speaker system, but it was hooked and cross-linked in all kinds of peculiar ways, so it mostly just led them in circles. There were doors in the walls in some places, but there were usually too many people around to try getting through. Finally they found a large pair of doors off to the back of the warehouse, fairly out of sight.

"No columns around here," said Cole morosely. "Feel like jumping twenty feet down onto concrete?"

"Eh, sounds fun, but I'll pass," said Jay.

They dropped onto a shelf top, parkoured down the side, and landed back-to-back, scoping in either direction.

"Phew," Jay whispered over his shoulder. "Looks like the coast is—"

Cole grabbed him by the arm and hurled them both into the depths of the nearest shelf. Luckily this one was full of boxes, not computers, so it didn't make too much noise and there was plenty to hide behind. They waited, breaths held, as a couple of Technicians walked by with a handcart of computers. To Jay's chagrin, the repair seemed to be taking place in _this_ aisle.

Cole tugged silently on the shoulder of his gi. When Jay turned, he pointed towards the back of the shelf—or its lack of a back. You could see right through to the next aisle.

 _It's empty,_ mouthed Cole.

Carefully they picked their way over to the other aisle, careful not to shift a single box. Then they did a final check and dove into the open. Keeping to whatever scanty shadows were available, they swung around the end of the shelf and plunged towards the double doors. Jay had always hated the low-slung "stealth tumble"; no matter how much he practiced he always felt like he was about to smash his head into the ground. Never had yet, though.

The doors had no handles, so they were able to just barge in without pausing. Cole rolled smoothly to his feet first, braced for a room possibly full of Technicians.

The place was empty, though. And dark, lit only by a few half-hearted bluish lights set into the bare rock walls. Jay caught his breath. Here there wasn't an electronics smell—instead it was the now-familiar scent of water. A dull, steady rumble filled the air, which was damp and slimy. So was the floor.

"Woah." Cole pointed. "This is where they redirect the creek."

There was something like a giant garage door set into the far wall. Made of rough wooden beams and thick metal trusses, it vibrated continually from the force of the moving water pooling behind it. Jay and Cole stepped up to study it for a moment. Jay laid a hand against the damp wood, feeling it trembling and straining. On the other side he could hear . . . underwater. That was really the only word for it. It sounded like sitting at the bottom of an aquarium.

"Stupid creek," he muttered, and kicked at one of the giant bolts near the base of the gate. "That's for falling on me."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you . . . " said Cole. At Jay's questioning look, he pointed up at the seam where the gate met the ceiling. Every second a new gush of water droplets would spurt out from a random point. Jay stepped aside as one particular spout came showering down nearby.

"Well, there is an entire creek flowing up there," he said, shrugging.

"Yeah, but that's where it'll have some of the _least_ pressure. If it leaks there, the whole gate is probably pretty shoddy."

As if in agreement the floodgate gave a threatening groan. Both ninja backed away a little.

"Huh." After a moment Jay laughed half-heartedly. "So that's why they call it a 'creek'."

Cole shook his head as if asking the universe what he'd ever done to deserve this.

"Let's . . . let's just keep looking for that control room. It looks like there's some doors over there, let's try those. At least we won't have to go back into the main room."

"Wait, wait, no! I have an idea!" said Jay. He pointed at the ceiling, which was covered with an upside-down city of machinery and metal boxes. "Look at all that stuff. They must have their hydroelectric power plant up there, and all their maintenance systems."

"And you want to take out the power?" said Cole, looking skeptical. "I mean, just from experience, that's never been a good long-term fix. And they'll know we're here. And we'll be stuck in the dark. And—"

"No, geez!" interrupted Jay. "Not the power. I'm gonna take out their cooling system!"

"Seriously?" Cole sounded beyond underwhelmed. He watched as Jay scrabbled up a support post and started to dig amongst the machinery. "We're here to defeat these guys, not make them uncomfortable. Are we really gonna waste time knocking out their AC?"

"It's not just an AC, genius," retorted Jay, already tugging at some paneling. "Didn't you feel how much hot and cold air was circulating around out there? All those computers produce heat like crazy. If the cooling system goes down, they'll start to overheat and crash much faster! It'll be easier for us to overload the system."

"I . . . guess that makes sense?" Cole scratched his head, then craned his neck to look at Jay again. "Are you sure that's gonna make enough difference to be worth the extra time?"

"Aw, please. Who's the expert here?" Jay looked down long enough to roll his eyes, then turned back to the cooling unit, digging through the tangled wires and jagged metal inside. His heart sank. Clearly this unit was hooked in series with a bunch of other machinery. Before he could disable it, he would have to carefully check where all the connections led, to make sure he didn't also disable something more noticeable—or kill the power completely. Maybe this really wasn't worth the time.

He darted a glance down at Cole. He'd look pretty stupid if he backed out now. And this was a warehouse full of electronics, for crying out loud. If he couldn't be the expert here, where _could_ he be the expert?

But then, the others were out there waiting. Time was ticking. What if he was wrong? What if the recent brush with death had pumped him so full of adrenaline his judgment was clouded? What if he got them all killed?

Well, but that was a bit overdramatic, wasn't it?

 _Wasn't_ it?

Teeth set, he got back to work. Gotta focus. Gotta hurry. This was no time to panic.

Cole waited below, looking bored. For a while he wandered around the room, examining the lamps and converters built into the walls, the giant chains and winches that held up the dam gate. Eventually he just stationed himself beneath Jay and watched him, arms folded, foot tapping.

"Anytime this week, Jay?" he called. "Look, can I at least help or something?"

"Nuh-uh, stay out of it," said Jay. "These are very delicate procedures that need to be entrusted to an expert."

That said, he resumed bashing at some pump units with a broken pipe.

Cole sighed, shaking his head.

"Okay, have it your way, rocket surgeon. I'm gonna go look around behind the other doors, okay?"

Jay bit his tongue on an angry comment. It wouldn't be fair to snap at Cole for not trusting his electronics expertise when he had so little faith in it himself.

"Yeah, whatever, sure," he groused, sticking his hand between the trembling fins of a cooling grille. "Just don't go meeting any new friends out there."

Cole grunted something that Jay didn't hear. After a few minutes he heard a door click shut, though. Letting out a frustrated breath through his nose, he kept working.

* * *

 **Silica:** CAP THEY'RE IN

 **CapsLock:** No way. How do you know?

 **Silica:** I was comparing timestamps for all the different security doors. There's one set of entries where all the gates were accessed, but Gate 3 just wasn't! They skipped straight to Gate 4!

 **CapsLock:** Ohhh, for the love of the FSM's wife. Some workers probably just piggybacked off another group walking out.

 **Silica:** You know that's not allowed.

 **CapsLock:** And _you_ know people forget that kind of stuff. You're reading too much into this.

 **Silica:** Caaaaaaaap, come on! This is serious! Are you gonna just do nothing while our main stronghold gets a ninja infestation?

 **CapsLock:** What do you want me to do, send Blue over with a flyswatter?

 **Silica:** Nah, leave the psycho out of it. Just stay on your toes, all right? I'm monitoring every stat I have home access to. I'll let you know when I find more proof.

 **CapsLock:** Clearly I am not getting any sleep tonight.

* * *

"This sucks!" whispered Kai. "We could be here all night. How are we gonna know when the attack's starting? I say we start sabotaging stuff right now."

"Kai, cool your jets," sighed Nya. "You know we can't just start smashing things."

"Oh, trust me, I can." Kai eyed the nearest bank of computers.

"Kai, if you go rogue, they're gonna catch us," said Nya. "What do you think happens to the others if the Technicians know we're here too soon?"

She really did know how to keep him in line.

Kai sank his hands into his overalls pockets, huffing, and glared askance at some passing workers.

"There's gotta be _something_ we can do. We might as well be Technicians ourselves, considering what we've done so far!"

"Keep it down," murmured Nya. "And relax. I'm sure Cole and Jay will find a way to coordinate our attack."

"By next spring, maybe," muttered Kai. He looked over at Nya and tilted his head. "Why do you keep checking your phone? There's no signal down here."

"We can't be sure of that," said Nya. "There might be pockets of weak signal, since Mack was trying to text. If I can find them, we'll be able to call for help if we need it."

"Huh." Kai peered at Nya's phone with new interest. "Now that's useful. Hey, lemme grab mine, I'll do the next few aisles to save up your battery."

* * *

Jay was sweating, and it was getting up his nose. This was a peculiar kind of problem to have, but it got a little less peculiar when you considered that he was hanging upside-down. He'd yanked loose a thick cable and wrapped it around his leg so he could have both hands free and access difficult panels. Clearly these machines hadn't been installed with easy servicing—or disassembly—in mind. This would all be so much easier if he could actually _see_ half of what he was doing.

Still, he was making progress. Swiping a sleeve over his upper lip and dabbing it under his eyes, he reached for the next tangle of wires. Almost had the system figured out. He spared a glance for the floodgate, which had again launched a salvo of strained creaking noises. It sounded just like the _Bounty_ during a heavy storm.

"Hey rocket surgeon." A familiar voice sounded from below. Inadvertantly Jay felt a little relieved. Even if he and Cole weren't getting along so great right now, it was nice not to be alone in here with a barely-contained creek and a horde of enemies in the next room.

"Woah." Cole laughed when he saw Jay's position. "You lost a fight with an air conditioner?"

"Ohhh—just get over here so I can drop a pipe on your head." Jay glared at him half-heartedly. "Since you _asked_ , I have everything figured out already. Turns out they have multiple cooling units, so it's taking a little longer, but I should be done in a few minutes. What'd _you_ do in the meantime, single-handedly take down the entire base?"

"Wise guy." Cole took a swig of something. Jay registered a double-take.

"Is that soda?"

"Yeah. I found their break room. Looks like they don't use it much, but it's a really nice break room. Has a vending machine and everything." Cole took another swig.

"You stole their soda?!" Jay twisted himself around to face Cole better, albeit still upside-down. "Have you no shame?"

"I didn't steal it, geez. I bought it like you buy anything out of a vending machine."

"You paid money to the _Technicians_ for soda?! You really do have no shame!"

Cole rolled his eyes.

"Well, I was thinking about getting one for you too, but now I'm glad I didn't."

Jay stuck out his tongue and swung back to work. As he glanced from one cooling unit to another, mentally calculating which connections he needed to sever, a thought suddenly struck him.

"Heyyyyyy, you know what, gimme that," he said, reaching down for Cole's soda.

"Uhh, no." Cole held it pointedly out of reach.

"Gimme!" insisted Jay, windmilling his arms over his head in an attempt to reach down far enough. Cole took a few steps away, still holding the soda as far off as possible.

"Come on Jay, are you serious? You don't want to swap spit."

"I don't care about spit!"

"You don't even know what's _in_ my spit. You could get mono!"

"Pfff, yeah right." Jay stopped windmilling long enough to give Cole a dry look. "Where are _you_ gonna get mono?"

"I could get mono if I wanted to!" Cole glared for a moment, then paused, processing, then slapped his forehead. "Look, Jay, just no. You can't drink my soda."

"I don't wanna drink it." Jay rolled his eyes. "I was gonna pour it on the wiring in here."

Cole looked at him for a moment, then sighed wearily and tossed the bottle up.

"You coulda said so."

Jay caught the soda and shook it absent-mindedly, judging where he needed to apply it.

"You know, a couple extras would be nice." He looked down to Cole. "Feel like grabbing, eh, maybe three more of these? I'll spring for a few." He dug into his pockets, which promptly spilled all their contents. Cole backpedaled as coins came showering down from overhead.

"You're a real hassle, Sparkplug," he groaned, trying to find where the change had fallen in the dim light. "Oh, great. You're set to buy about half of a soda."

"The rest of my money got lost in the waterfall!" Jay called after him.

"Surrrrrre it did." Cole disappeared through one of the side doors. After a while he reemerged, carrying three sodas.

"You bought half a soda, I bought one and a half, and the third one I stole. Just to tick you off in every possible way," he announced.

"You seriously do have no shame." Jay held out his arms. "Toss me 'em."

Sighing, Cole complied, flipped the bottles up to ceiling height. Jay snatched them out of midair and immediately tossed them to their proper places atop various cooling units.

"Annnd one, and two, and three, and the fourth one's for me." He ensured the bottle was upright relative to the floor rather than to himself, then cracked it open and took a swig. He'd swallowed food while hanging upside-down before, so he was pretty confident this would work.

It kinda didn't. The soda went about three-quarters of the way to his stomach, then switched directions and drained straight into his sinuses. For the second time in two hours his airway was filled with fluid, and this time it was also carbonated and fairly acidic. He gagged, thrashed furiously for a second, then managed to writhe upright so he could clear his nose properly.

"Jay." Cole watched him wearily. "Why do you do these things to yourself."

Jay ignored him in favor of catching his breath. Now that he was upright he realized just how much the blood had gone to his head while working. He thought maybe he'd better stay upright from now on.

It really was quick work after that, luckily. Jay tossed a shuriken through each of the bottles, sending gushes of foamy soda dribbling down into the thrumming AC units. One by one they went up in showers of sparks and plumes of electric-scented smoke. Experimentally Jay wiggled some electricity through the unrelated machinery nearby, and was delighted to find that it was still working perfectly.

"Hah!" he crowed. Letting go of the cable, he landed next to Cole and dusted off his hands, beaming. "The entire cooling system is shot. I'm betting the place is gonna reach critical temperature in two hours. And as a bonus, the AC probably did all their dehumidifying too, so now they're gonna be dealing with the moisture from that!" He jerked a thumb at the creek gate. "We've totally got a leg up on them now."

"Feels more like we're way behind," grumbled Cole. "But if you say so."

"Hmph. Remember, I'm the expert here." Jay straightened his gi superciliously. Sighing, Cole turned towards one of the doors.

"How about we get back to the original plan, huh Sparky? I think I know where their control booth is. Let's crash it."

"Sounds good!" Jay swigged down the last of his soda and trotted after Cole. At the last moment he paused to look back at the ceiling. The cooling units were still giving off occasional bursts of sparks, isolated islands of dead machinery among the smoothly functioning whole. Jay smiled, feeling a wash of pride. Not a bad job, if he did say so himself. He _did_ know what he was doing here after all.

* * *

"Thanks for coming," said Silica, glancing up from a computer monitor. CapsLock grunted and collapsed into a ratty armchair.

"Well, I was awake anyway. I guess tracking a base invasion is kind of exciting . . . " He yawned and blinked grumpily across the dim room. "You're lucky my girlfriend wasn't over tonight."

"Heh." Silica glanced over her shoulder, half-smiling. "As long as she doesn't find out you're here, huh? . . . "

CapsLock only grunted. Silica's smile twitched, and she turned back to her computer with something like a shrug.

"Anyways. Settle down, get comfy, grab some chips." She gestured across the room. Presumably chips existed somewhere out there. CapsLock didn't get up.

"Have you actually found anything?" he said, stifling another enormous yawn.

"Not yet. I'm looking through every stat I can." Silica clicked through screen after screen. "I dunno. If you were a ninja breaking into our base, what would you attack first?"

"Man, I _love_ your focused approach." CapsLock massaged his eyelids. "Iiii dunno. Whatever. Take out the power, I guess?"

"Nah, they already tried that last year with the Digital Overlord." Silica leaned back in her swivel chair, making the hinged neck squeak viciously. "It only stopped him temporarily, and in the end it cost 'em Zane. I doubt they'd want to go that route again."

"Hm. Full-out attack on the workers?" mumbled CapsLock.

"Nnnnnn. They're not shy about taking on huge numbers of opponents, but historically they've only done it after sneaking has failed."

"You know way too much about these guys." Cap had his hand plastered over his face by now, his eyes closed.

"Oh, get out of here. They're our biggest threat. There's no such thing as knowing too much about them!"

"There's a line between that and being a stalker fangirl," drawled Cap, not opening his eyes. Silica made an affronted choking noise.

"Now youuuuuu just listen here—"

"I mean, where do you get all this info? Obsessively reading news articles about them?"

"Again. Research into their strategies. Their weaknesses." Silica was still facing the computer screen, but she was looking through it rather than at it, focused on the developing argument.

"And tracking them on social media and fansites doesn't count as stalking?"

"Also info gathering! Their fans know things!"

"Mmm-hm." Cap snorted. "I bet you'd never hound them with unsolicited emails, either."

Silica's cheeks turned pink.

"That's for the katamari. And it seeded their computer with our spy software."

"Uh-huh." Cap yawned again. "So which one's your crush, fangirl?"

"Shut uuuuuuup." Silica spun her chair around, caught between a glare and a delighted grin. "Absolutely no crushes involved! Get that right out of your head."

"Bet it's Jay. He's a techie too, isn't he?" said Cap lazily.

"No _way._ Besides, every fansite in the world has been flipping out over how much he and Nya are seen together lately. He's clearly taken." Silica flopped back, her arms folded. "All the cute guys are taken."

She glared sidewise at Cap, who didn't open his eyes. After a moment she spun her chair around to face the computer again.

"Egh, anyway. I swear, no crushes. But they _are_ a lot of fun to stalk. I feel like a fly on the wall, I know how the whole team functions. They're _tight_. And just, man, really disgustingly sweet kids overall. Especially that little squirt Lloyd. Definitely my favorite. Sho kyoot."

"Dear FSM, that's the Green Savior of Ninjago," said Cap, laughing sleepily. "Are you _allowed_ to call him cute?"

"Heh. You should hear the fansites," said Silica. "You should hear the fansites about his _hair_. There is literally a sideblog somewhere out there, on the interwubs, devoted entirely to conversation about how and why Lloyd's growing his hair so long."

"Oh yeah?" Cap gave an amused snort. "Well, you're the fly on the wall. Why is he?"

"The other ninja don't know either." Silica laughed. "Which is wild, because it's pretty obvious. It's the—" She stiffened. "I found it!"

"Mmmm?" Cap half-opened his eyes.

"They're in! They're in! Look at this!" Silica stabbed the computer screen with her finger. "The temperature's rising!"

Cap heaved himself up from the armchair and tottered over. Leaning over Silica's shoulder, he squinted at the wiggly line indicating thermostat readings from the base. There did seem to be a slight uptick in the last few minutes.

"Ehhh. You sure that's not random?" he said, still skeptical.

"No, just wait, just wait," said Silica. After a few seconds, a new data point popped up. This one was again a little higher than the last.

"Hmmm." CapsLock tousled his hair, more alert now. "So they took out the cooling system? That's . . . kinda weird, don't you think?"

"Oh, sure, definitely. I doubt that was their whole plan." Silica laced her fingers together and turned her palms out, cracking her knuckles, then hunched over the keyboard and began to type furiously. "They're up to something else, believe me. We just have to keep watching till we find it."

* * *

 **A/N: **Cole has made a deeply personal decision not to get mono, and he'd thank you to not judge him for it****

 ** **Heh. Ahhh man, it's been a while. It's nice to get back to the old stomping grounds. Non-stomping coffee just isn't the same. :P****

 ** **So how're you fellas doing? Anyone still out there?****


	94. While I Play Unfitting Music

**Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom! It's a new year, you guys. Grab your clubs, grab your pitchforks. We can take it. **Hope you had a good New Year's Eve!****

 **But holy cats, you guys, **I wasn't expecting that much of a response to that last chapter. ^_^'' Thanks so much to everyone for being so kind with your reviews! I wish I could reply to them, but that's really not an option, things being what they are these days. :S****

 **I think I did see a couple of questions, though? . . . ** ** **Quick answers: I'm doing survivably, thanks; yes, there will be more of Silica!; school's treating me rough but not too rough; people theorize about Lloyd's hair because he's technically a celebrity, while Silica has guessed his secret because she stalks the ninja a ton and has observed Lloyd from an outside perspective; can't let you guys in on it just yet though, sorry; nah, you don't sound like a psy****** chopath and yes I do miss you all, actually; and yes, you're welcome to a Cole hug. Cole hugs all around, for those interested. :)**

 **And the chapter is here! It should be two chapters. Length-wise it could even be three. And yet!**

* * *

 **Oct 9**

 **11:20 PM**

 **Status conditions: Kai with broken wrist, situation generally perilous**

* * *

"This one's a storage room," whispered Cole, pointing as he led Jay down the quiet hall. "I think that one's a broom closet. And farther down there's a bathroom."

Jay was only half-listening, taking in his surroundings. The hallway was finished, unlike the dam room, but it was only with dingy bare plaster. The lighting left something to be desired. To make it all even more uncomfortable, it was a really _long_ hall, running the full length of the warehouse and turning a corner at the end.

"And this is an exit," continued Cole.

Jay snapped out of his thoughts.

"Wait, _what?_ "

Cole gestured grandly at a door. Jay opened it and found himself faced with a ladder. Tilting his head back to follow the length upwards, he saw a scrap of dark sky high above, like a reverse light at the end of a tunnel. He stared at it for a moment, surprised at his complete lack of desire to go up there. Not to get aboveground. Not to escape this nest of Technicians. He was actually pretty cool with being down here, pretty confident he could handle this situation. That was big news, for him.

"Anyway," Cole was saying just behind him. "The control room is way over there. Got a plan, expert?"

"Ahh . . . " Jay pulled his head out of the escape hatch and shut the door. "I'll think of something."

As they headed onwards, Jay noticed a strange track running up the wall on either side.

"What's that?" he whispered, pointing.

"A door," Cole whispered back. He pointed up at the ceiling. There was a deep, wide slot up there, presumably holding a pretty hefty slide-down door.

"I think this is supposed to be a safety measure," continued Cole. "If the dam fails, they can lower these gates to keep the water from flooding the escape route. There are like three of these in this hallway. There was a big one above the double doors to the dam room, too, to protect the computers. Didn't you notice?"

" . . . S-sure," said Jay hastily. Must not have been fast enough, though, because he heard Cole muffle a snort. Huffing, he looked up and down the hall, trying to see where the doors were. Then he looked at the control room. Then back towards the dam room. Slowly the gears of inspiration began to grind. He could feel the corners of his mouth gradually tracking upwards.

"I've got it!" He sailed past Cole and headed straight for the control room. "I've got the perfect plan!"

"Wait, what?" Cole hastened to catch up, looking anxious. "Oh no. I'm sorry I asked."

Jay ignored him, already sizing up the control room door. There was a keypad lock. Behind the door he could hear someone moving around, a chair creaking. He began to very softly run electricity through the lock, searching for the access code.

"We're in!" He grinned as the keypad bent to his will. "Let's rave."

When they threw open the door, two Technicians whirled around, one of them cursing in surprise. The other had his hand on a tabletop microphone, apparently about to start a special announcement.

"Move move move!" barked Cole, plowing past Jay to tackle the first worker. "Don't let them call for help!"

The other worker was already reaching for the button that activated the PA system—and quite possibly an alarm network too—but Jay hurled an arc of electricity that sent the guy toppling and twitching from his chair. The mike spun across the desk. Jay caught it just as it fell off the edge and deftly clonked the worker over the head with it, knocking him cold. Cole had made short work of his opponent too.

"They didn't sound the alert?" he asked, slightly breathless.

"Nuh-uh." Jay straightened up and looked around the room. The place had three walls stacked to the ceiling with strange equipment. Buttons and switches and blinking lights _everywhere_. It looked like the very best set straight out of _Starfarer_ , only it was also fully functional. And now it was all his.

Hopping over the guy he'd just downed, Jay plopped into the vacated swivel chair and spun to face the nearest switchboard.

"Okay, gimme a sec to figure this system out. Then I'll shut the security gates and let them know we've gained control!"

"Wait, _what?_ No! Are you crazy?" Cole grabbed Jay's wrist before he could touch anything. "The whole point is that they _don't_ know we're here. The others are still out there! Do you want to sic an entire base of Technicians onto them?"

"Yeah!" Jay grinned.

Cole stared at him, unnerved.

"Relaaaaaaax." Jay shook off Cole's grip. "The others are gonna be totally safe, _and_ they'll have peace of mind to start wrecking computers. I've got it all figured out!"

Cole didn't break his stare.

"What?" Jay tilted his head winningly. "Don't you trust me?"

Still saying nothing, Cole looked around the room, visibly assessing if Jay's sanity might be lurking in a corner somewhere. At last he sighed.

"Well, what do _I_ do, meanwhile?"

Jay blinked, then quickly turned to the switchboard to hide his smile. He knew full well how crazy he sounded right now, so Cole's trust was much appreciated. Still, not like Cole needed to know that.

"I dunno," he said casually. "You could tie up these guys we knocked out, I guess. Put 'em in the break room where they can't bother us, or something?"

He could feel a little burst of irritation from Cole at being bossed around, but that was just icing on the cake, really. As Cole hunted up some extension cords to use as rope, Jay studied the array of buttons, dials, and sliders. He grinned as the entire system mapped itself out in his mind, components and connections clicking smoothly into place. It was just as chimeric as everything else in the building, but it was straightforward, and there were _so_ many functions. If power corrupts, he was about to become hecka corrupted.

Cole returned from putting the Technicians in the break room. He stopped and stared all over again when he saw Jay busily stacking crates full of CDs and sparkplugs up to the ceiling.

"You could push this thing over, right?" said Jay, gesturing at the stack. Cole blinked at him for a moment.

"Sure," he said at last, resigned.

* * *

Back in the towering aisles of the warehouse, workers everywhere glanced up slightly as the melodic _do-re-do!_ alert rang out.

 _Unit Eight, Five, Four, A,_ harped the artificial female voice.

Kai stiffened. That was him. His brow furrowed slightly as he waited for the order.

 _Please report to Aisle, 5._

Kai cast Nya a reluctant look, but turned to comply. Someone in Aisle 5 might notice if nobody showed up.

 _Repeat, please report to Aisle, 10._ The choke of static indicated the announcement was over.

Kai stopped, looking up at the ceiling. He could've sworn the earlier line had said _five . . ._ He snuck a glance over to Nya and found that she also looked puzzled.

 _Do-Re-Do!_ chimed the radio again.

 _Unit Eight, Five, Four, A. Please report to Aisle, 10._

Kai shook his head, but headed more confidently in that direction.

 _Repeat, please report to Aisle, 9._

Kai and Nya stared at each other, bewildered.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lloyd and Zane were also listening with puzzlement to the inconsistent orders being directed at Kai's number.

"You think it's a glitch?" murmured Lloyd, keeping a cautious eye on several workers farther down the aisle. "Or . . . "

 _Do-Re-Do!_

 _Attention, all units. Attention, all units. Please put: one. Hand on your heads, and: Turn around, in: A circle._

Despite the grocery-store self-checkout inflection, it was surprisingly convincing. Lloyd fought back a smile when he saw that some of the workers down the aisle were actually complying. A few others were staring at the ceiling suspiciously, though. He turned to Zane and nearly lost it completely when he found the Nindroid was in the midst of turning around, one hand dutifully atop his head.

"Zane, it's Jay and Cole! They must've broken into the control booth." Lloyd struggled to keep the laughter out of his voice. "You don't have to listen to them."

"Are you sure?" said Zane. "I thought it might be a test of the workers' obedience and reaction times."

"Yeah, well." Lloyd chuckled fondly. "I think you'd have passed."

 _Do-Re-Do!_

 _Attention: Live Announcement. Attention: Live Announcement._

There was a crackle of a microphone switching on, then some thumping. Everyone looked to the heavens—well, the ceiling—in silent anticipation. Abruptly there was a crash of music that probably blew out at least a couple of the building's speakers.

"—NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND, DESERT YOU!—"

Uproar broke out in the aisles. Lloyd slumped forward against a shelf, burying his face in his arms and shuddering with barely suppressed laughter. He was aware it could majorly blow his cover, but he couldn't help himself.

"I see they did break into the control booth," admitted Zane, looking gravely up at the ceiling.

"Can somebody make Jay _stop?_ " For good measure Cole's weary voice forced itself over the music. "I hate this song."

* * *

Back in the control booth, Jay was doing his level best to outshout the music blasting from the central computer.

"Helloooooo, Techies! So glad to be here tonight! I'm your DJ for today. Forecast for the evening is pleasantly warm, and we've got some fantastic entertainment lined up for—Kai no, don't touch that—!"

Cole shoved over the stack of crates Jay had prepared. They went over with a crash. He and Jay went about trying to make enough noise for six people, with Jay shouting to random teammates all the while. At last, once they started to get hoarse, Jay shut off the mike and left the music playing.

"Wooooooooooo-hoooooooooo!" He kicked off from the control panel and sailed the swivel chair backwards across the room. Finding a set of switches, he set the emergency doors to close. He could hear three dramatic slams out in the hallway as the doors crashed into place.

"That went _awesomely!_ " He kicked back in the chair, linking his hands behind his neck. Cole shook his head.

"I really hope this plan works, Jay. If they don't believe that we're all in this control room, our friends are about to get into a _lot_ of trouble."

Jay twitched, feeling a momentary stab of panic. After a second though, he managed to shrug it off. It was gonna be fine. He knew what he was doing.

Somewhere out in the hallway he heard a thud. Then another. Gradually it built up to a steady hailstorm of thuds, like a whole bunch of people hammering against the first emergency door. Coincidentally, that's probably what it was. Jay and Cole both cocked their heads, listening. After a moment Jay gave a crooked smile.

"We're good."

* * *

In the warehouse, Kai and Nya listened confusedly at their names being called over the speaker system as if they were somewhere else entirely. Down the aisle, someone shouted, "They're in the control room! Get them!" Technicians began to run, some of them dashing past the siblings. Realizing they'd better not draw attention, they both began to run too. At the end of the aisle, when no one was looking, they dove under a shelf to hide. They watched Technicians' feet clattering by.

"I think I get it!" whispered Kai. "Jay's drawing the Technicians' fire so we can start trashing the place."

"And playing music to drown out the noise we make!" said Nya, her eyes bright. "I knew he'd think of something!"

"You're pretty sure it wasn't Cole's idea, huh?" said Kai innocently. Nya, realizing he was baiting her, glared half-heartedly. He grinned back.

Once they no longer heard any Technicians running nearby, they whisked out of hiding. They'd barely made it a few feet down the aisle before they ran into two Technicians coming around the end. All four parties immediately sprang to attack.

" _What_ the—" yelped Kai as his opponent flawlessly blocked him. He looked up. "Oh. Heh. Nice save, Zane."

Nearby Nya and Lloyd broke out of a deadlock, laughing.

"We should get to work!" said Lloyd. "We should probably each take a different aisle. Don't waste time unplugging the computers—destroy them as fast as you can."

"But be careful not to get electrocuted," said Zane. "I sense vast amounts of electricity running through these shelves."

"Hmmmm. So does that mean stabbing a metal weapon into these suckers is a bad idea?" Kai looked disappointed. "This is gonna be less fun than I thought."

"Sometimes you really creep me out, brother," muttered Nya.

They scattered and began to run down the aisles, yanking computers off shelves.

* * *

Back in the control booth, Jay pulled up the mike again.

"All right Techies, for our next number, we're going to treat you to a collection of the very finest meme music, selected from the choicest memes. If you could all just hammer along with the beat out there?"

"Why meme music, Jay," groaned Cole, after the mike had shut off. "Why."

Jay shrugged, sliding his chair to the nearest computer screen.

"I wanted something fun. What would _you_ play, a tragic opera?"

Ignoring Cole's grumbling, he began to rifle through security camera feeds, typing and clicking swiftly. Without warning he exclaimed in satisfaction and yanked another switch. Far off, through several walls, and almost lost behind the music and battering of Technicians, there was a dull slam.

"That was the big security door, the one between the dam room and the main warehouse," he told Cole. "I closed it off before any Technicians got the idea to head back into the aisles. They're all trapped in the dam room now."

"What if they see the door's down and decide to break it?"

"Nahhh, they won't," said Jay. "They still think we're all in here, you know? They're gonna be focusing on the small security gate in the hallway."

"Annnnd if they break down the small one? . . . " said Cole.

"Well, there's . . . a second gate?" Jay rubbed his head uneasily. Being trapped in this small room with a huge horde of Technicians breaking in would _not_ be fun. After a second he shook his head hard and pointed at a nearby panel packed with green light-up buttons. "Hey, come on. See those lights? I think each one marks a shelf that has a dead computer. See, the others are working on it!"

Cole watched the panel for a while. A few green lights switched on, but not many. Outside the Technicians continued to batter against the emergency gate, their efforts taking on a steadier, more synchronized quality.

"I think they're gonna get to us first," said Cole.

"Ohhhhh . . . Would you quit being such a downer?" Jay huffed, scruffing up his hair, and turned to the nearest control panel. "Fine. I'll see what I can do."

"You do that," said Cole. "But first, one other thing."

"Mm?" Jay looked up suspiciously.

"Can you _please_ change the music?"

* * *

Jay's choice of soundtrack wasn't really earning accolades out in the trenches, either.

"Is that seriously the only music he could come up with?" groaned Kai. Nearby Lloyd dropped out of his Spinjitzu tornado, shedding mangled computers every which way.

"What, what's wrong with it?"

"It completely kills any cool factor this mission could have had." Kai grabbed a random desktop and hefted it across the aisle. "He could at least play hard rock or something, and then it'd be like a montage. Or a music video."

"You could still pretend it's a music video." Lloyd grinned. "A really strange one."

"No thanks," grumbled Kai.

From overhead the music suddenly cut out again.

"All _right_ , so judging by the complete lack of tempo in your hammering, you Technicians don't seem to like meme music very much. Fine. If you're that picky, we're switching it to the greatest rock hits of the 80's and 90's—"

"That's more like it," muttered Kai.

"—As rendered by sixty-four floppy drives and a sawed-off scanner."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Kai threw his hands into the air and stomped off. Lloyd chuckled, but had to wince himself at the jagged electronic music that ensued.

* * *

Meanwhile, Silica was running out of curse words. She had the equivalent of Jay's green-light panel open in one window, and was typing furiously in the other.

"I can't believe they got to destroying computers already! What did they _do?_ Of all the—"

"So . . . It's all over, isn't it?" CapsLock was watching over her shoulder, his face blank as he watched one green light after another coming to life. "They're in there destroying the katamari. There's no way we can stop them in time. It's as good as finished."

"No! Not by a long shot!" gritted Silica. "I can still stop them before they do any more damage. I just need to get control of the system!"

"What do you mean, get control of it? You can _see_ it! The readouts are right there!" CapsLock pointed angrily at the dead-computer tracker. "How do you _not_ have control of it?"

"You can see sports results, does that mean you control which team wins?" snapped Silica. "Look, I purposely designed Base Zero's computer system so there was _no_ outside access. If there was a link that let me control it from outside, it would be too easy for anyone else to exploit that link. But now that means I have to force an outside connection, which also means hacking through a _lot_ of security measures."

"Is that even possible?" CapsLock eyed her with cautious hope.

"It better be." Silica took a moment to flop back in her chair, raking both her hands through her hair and letting out a long breath. "I mean, the good news is, I programmed this thing. I know every line of the code. The bad news is, I programmed this thing. If it _has_ any weak spots, I'm the last one to notice."

"Well, do it." CapsLock grimaced as another green light blinked on. "They're not taking their time."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it." Silica let out another stressed breath and leaned forward to resume typing. "Let me see what I can do. And get off my back, Cap, you're not helping."

"Should I call Blue?" said CapsLock, stepping back. "Send him over?"

Silica froze, her eyes fixed on her hands. After a minute she ducked her head and began to type again.

"Call him."

* * *

Back in the control room of Base Zero, Cole was holding CD cases over his ears, while Jay kicked back in his swivel chair warbling along to the floppy drive music. Outside the Technician hammering seemed to be tapering off. Eventually it seemed to stop entirely. Jay was just sitting up, wondering what had happened, when there suddenly came a wall-shaking _WHOOMPH._ A pause, then another _WHOOMPH._ Then another. Apparently the Technicians had acquired some sort of battering ram.

Jay listened, watching a stray coffee mug jiggling up and down with every new thud.

"Who is it?" he called ironically.

 _WHOOMPH._

"They're going to get in, Jay," said Cole, pulling the CD cases from his ears.

"They're not going to get in." Jay set his teeth stubbornly.

"Jay." Cole's voice was bleak.

"It's fine, it's fine, it's _fine_ , okay?!" Jay burst out. He tried to glare at Cole, but found the earth ninja's quietly grim expression too much to handle. He looked away again.

For a few moments he stared at the panel of green lights, willing them to switch on faster. There was silence except for the thuds from the hallway and the thin tremolo of the sawed-off scanner.

Suddenly a different tremolo began. Jay and Cole both started violently. It sounded just like a phone ringing.

Jay turned to the source of the noise. There was a switchboard set up nearby, with a phone and a row of lights indicating different lines. One of them was flickering in sync with the ringing noise. Who the heck was _phoning_ them?

Jay and Cole looked at each other for a few more rings. The Technicians bashed at the door a few more times. The sound was starting to change, as if the door was weakening.

Gulping, Jay slowly reached out and picked up the phone.

"Uhhh . . . hello?"

"Jay, if you don't play some decent music, I _swear_ to the FSM—"

"Kai!" Jay laughed with relief. "How the heck?"

"There are phones built into some of these shelves. I guess so the workers can report problems or something. But as I was _saying_ , there's a limit to how much—"

"Wait, really? That's awesome! We can communicate!"

"Well let me communicate you this," said Kai. "If I hear _one_ more floppy drive song—"

"Geeeeez, fine, I'll put on something else, yer lordship." Jay rolled his eyes. "But listen, Kai. You guys need to speed it up, and I mean by a LOT."

"We're going as fast as we can," said Kai. "Do you know how many computers are in here?!"

"I can make some guesses, yeah," sighed Jay. He winced as an ominous splintering noise came from down the hallway. "But Cole and I are holed up in the control room, and the Technicians are breaking down security doors to get at us. If you don't finish soon, we are gonna be really, really hooped."

Kai muttered an oath. Jay could almost see him looking around the aisles, calculating how many more computers were left.

"But these phones are good news!" he hastened to add. "I have a plan."

"Is it better than the current one, because this one kinda sucks," said Kai. Jay scowled and took care not to look in Cole's direction.

"No, this will speed things up," he said as patiently as he could. "I can shut off power to some of the shelving units, so it'll be safe for you guys to use weapons on them. You can wreck just a couple of computers. Ask Zane and Nya to reroute the wiring. Then you can phone in and tell me which units are ready, so I can turn the power back on. Then the whole aisle will short-circuit!"

"We get to use weapons?" Kai sounded awfully pleased with this. "Sign me up."

"Awesome!" Jay was already fumbling with switches, working out what went where. "What are the nearest shelving units _not_ holding the phone you're using right now?"

"Ummm, 25, 27, 42 through 44."

"Great! Power to all of those is now down." Jay flicked a bunch of switches. "Try it out!"

"Got it. I'll call you back. Play some Eternal Hangnail or something, wouldja?"

The phone clicked. Jay made a face, unenamored with the request for heavy metal, but began to search through music videos online.

"I know there was an airhorn remix of that group somewhere . . . "

In the hallway the thumping continued. It didn't sound any closer than before, so Jay could only guess the first door hadn't fully given way just yet. Before he could even put on the next piece of music, the phone rang again.

"Got it!" Kai's breathless voice came through. "Try 25."

Jay flicked the switch. Over the phone he heard a faint fizzing noise, nearly drowned out by Kai's whoop of amazement. In the background he heard the others cheering too.

"That was _awesome!_ It went up like it was full of fireworks!" Kai shouted. Jay held the phone away from his ear, laughing.

"Awesome! I just had a whole bunch of green lights turn on at once here."

"Green lights?"

"Never mind, never mind. Step it up, guys!"

"On it! Heading for the next shelf! Hang in there you two."

The phone slammed. Jay hung up as well, grinning delightedly at the swathe of newly-lit failure lights. This was at least a tenfold speed increase. All of a sudden he felt like their success was assured again.

"Huh." Cole folded his arms. "Well, your plans still kinda suck, but at least you're good at improving them on the fly."

Jay grinned at him and put on the airhorn remix of Eternal Hangnail.

* * *

CapsLock was pacing in endless infinity loops. Silica had cracked a computer mouse from gripping it so hard, and was now going around the room cursing and looking for a new one. The air was thick with desperation as more and more green lights blinked on. Still Silica couldn't get through.

Looking for some kind of distraction, CapsLock pulled out his phone.

"What the hell—" He began to flick through texts, eyes wide. "Sil, I have a million texts from the crew down there!"

"What?" Silica snapped around to face him. "What do they say? Is there anything we could use?"

CapsLock began to piece together the narrative, sent to him in several different formats by the Technicians trapped in the dam room, or backed up behind the disabled elevator. The latter group was significantly more jittery, because Nash would soon be joining them and he probably wasn't feeling too mellow. Silica gnawed on her thumb, occasionally rushing Cap along when he started repeating himself.

"So they're about to break down the first security door," she said at last.

"Yeah, but they say it's taking them forever. They probably couldn't get to the control booth, or into the main warehouse, before the ninja finish destroying _everything_."

Silica let out a long, slow breath through her nose. She stared at the green failure lights. An entire column of them blazed to life as she watched. Her eyes hardened.

"First door, huh?" she said. "Text them back, Cappie. New plan."

* * *

Jay was on an adrenaline high the likes of which he'd rarely seen. The control room was in chaos. He cycled with blinding speed between turning shelves on, turning shelves off, picking up phone calls telling him which of those to do when, monitoring the failure lights, and handling the music.

"Jay, can you turn off shelves 30 through 40?"

"Roger."

"One through five are ready to blow!"

"Ten-four, stand by for fireworks!"

"Shut off the frigging airhorns, will you?!"

"The answer is no!"

Jay put the phone on hold with three different lines blinking, careened his swivel chair across the room, flipped switches wildly in every direction, leaned way back to put on the next song—also an airhorn remix—then rapped out a few more confirmations over the phone lines and finally threw himself back in his chair, hands folded behind his head, for a few seconds' triumphant break. The next instant he found himself sprawled on the floor—swivel chairs were treacherous like that.

"Dude, what was _that?_ " Cole was laughing helplessly.

"Ohhh . . . take a hike, Dirtclod," muttered Jay, picking himself up. Geez. Could he not even be cool for ten minutes uninterrupted?

The phone rang again. Jay looked between it and the music, which had just ended, then made up his mind and dove to put on a new song first.

"Not another airhorn remix," warned Cole. "Just put on something normal, would you?"

"Fiiiiiiiine. Frank the Fire Truck theme song extended version, coming up."

"DON'T YOU DARE—"

Jay was already starting up the video, which naturally began with fire truck noises.

"So help me, Jay, I'm gonna hurt you—"

Jay ducked under Cole's fist and darted to the phone, which was still ringing.

"You've gotta be kidding, Jay!" was the first thing Lloyd said.

"I know, nostalgia, right?" Jay glanced up, then ducked again. "And hey, Lloyd? Could you please tell Cole that if he kills me, this entire project is gonna grind to a halt and we'll all be trapped down here?" He glared at Cole significantly as he said this.

"Are you making this a _hostage_ situation?" Lloyd sounded incredulous.

"Oh, please. Let's just call it an abuse of power." Jay swallowed a laugh, pretending to ignore Cole seething in baffled fury beside him. He knew he was probably going to pay dearly for his fun when this was all over, but for now this was too good to resist.

"Okay. Okay." Lloyd sounded like he didn't know what to do with his life anymore. "Can you just—Shelves 30 through 35 are ready to blow."

"On it, pal." Jay moved to hang up, then looked at Cole and handed him the phone instead. "You're the operator now, Dirtclod, I can't do everything myself."

He sailed off to explode some more shelves, singing along to the Frank's theme at the top of his lungs. Cole rested his face against a stack of transformers. On the other end of the line he could hear Lloyd laughing wearily, lost for other options.

* * *

In the aisles, Kai was ready to cut a man. (And he had a pretty specific idea of which one, too.) Swinging his katana grouchily through a row of computers, he wiped his forehead and turned to locate the others. Lloyd was slicing up computers farther down the aisle, while Zane and Nya swiftly pulled out other computers' innards and twisted them together in fatal ways.

"We need to speed this up," Kai shouted over the music.

"Are you kidding? How are we supposed to go any faster than this? We're blowing out an entire shelving unit every twenty seconds or so," said Nya.

"Kai does have a point," said Zane. "Jay and Cole are still trapped in a perilous situation, and it would be advisable to get them out of it as soon as possible. Getting _ourselves_ out of here would not be remiss either."

"Also, the sooner we end this the sooner we can get away from this _music_." Kai looked at the ceiling as if he'd like to set it on fire.

They threw themselves at Shelf 50, the first in a row of ten shelves. Instead of attacking the computers, they began to hack away at the lower support beams with whatever weapons they had. Zane fetched ropes; Nya clambered up the side of the shelf and into the rafters, drawing the ropes up to create pulleys. Once the shelf's supports were weakened, the four of them climbed up into the rafters and began to drag two at a rope, trying to topple Shelf 50.

"I can feel it swaying! Pull harder!" panted Nya. They all threw themselves against the ropes again. Shelf 50 creaked violently, but still somehow clung to its center of gravity.

"Looks like we need to give it some help." Kai somehow managed to tie off the rope he and Lloyd were sharing. Ignoring Nya shouting objections after him, he skipped his way through the rafters, heading for Shelf 50. When he drew level with it he dropped to its top, hoping his weight would help it overbalance. Again the shelf groaned and shifted, and this time some computers slid out and smashed on the floor. But no matter how far Kai leaned or how much he tried to jounce up and down, he couldn't quite tip the scales. After all, compared to the entire huge shelf he was a featherweight.

"Hey Kai, wait up!" Lloyd dropped down next to him. Yet another groan. The shelf swayed beneath their feet, slowly bending its weakened support beams. The two ninja took a moment to familiarize themselves with the unsteady surface. Then they began to throw their weight from one side of the shelf to the other, purposely syncing with its rocking motion. The shelf rocked harder and harder, creaking and cracking. Finally there was a horrific grinding and a metallic snap, and the entire shelf began to keel ponderously over. Obviously it carried Kai and Lloyd with it. When it struck the shelf next to it, the impact hurled the two ninja onto the next shelftop, and nearly beyond it.

As they struggled to regain their footing, the next shelf began to creak and lean in turn. The entire row of shelves became a giant set of dominos, at first in super-slow motion, but gradually speeding up as each shelf absorbed momentum from several previous. Kai and Lloyd jumped to the next shelf with each impact, struggling to stay ahead of the toppling wave of wreckage. Geysers of sparks gushed up in their wake; the groans of stressed metal, the scraping of concrete, and the smashing of glass and plastic were _deafening_. You might as well have thrown several cargo ships full of fine china down the world's largest set of stairs.

The domino effect was almost at Shelf 59. After that there was an extra-wide aisle before Shelf 60, and it looked like 59 was going to fall all the way to the floor unobstructed. That was not a good place for ninja to go.

"We're about to run out of—" began Lloyd. Suddenly there was a flash of motion overhead, and Zane swung from a rafter by his knees, stretching out a hand. Lloyd made an extra-long leap and caught it, his feet swinging in empty space as the shelf toppled out from underneath him, glass shards jingling.

Meanwhile Nya was similarly reaching to catch Kai—but instead, he _kept going_.

"Kai no!" Nya nearly tumbled from the rafters, staring after her brother in horror. "Kai YOU'RE GONNA—"

Shelf 59 began to topple, Kai still atop it. It was definitely making it all the way to the ground. The three teenagers in the rafters watched in frozen terror, certain that Kai was about to be mangled in unspeakable ways.

As the shelf began to fall, Kai absorbed as much of its momentum as he could and jumped for all he was worth. It was a pretty spectacular leap, but there was no _chance_ he'd make it to the top of Shelf 60. Instead he slammed into its side, and although the impact must have been incredible, he somehow managed to grab onto the metal and cling, halfway up.

The chaos wasn't over just yet, though. As Kai shook his head, pulling himself together, Shelf 60 suddenly, unexpectedly began to lean—towards him. Shelf 59 had just _barely_ grazed its base, just enough to essentially kick the feet out from underneath it. Now 60 was fixing to fall on top of 59—with Kai somewhere in between.

Kai registered that he was in a lousy place. As the shelf continued to tip inevitably over, he scrambled up its side with blinding speed, dodging computers sliding out of their spots. Somehow he made it to the shelftop, but it was already almost 45 degrees from the floor, and it seemed the only way to go was still down into the welter of jagged wreckage.

Luckily Shelf 60 kicked the feet out from under Shelf 61. Now a bizarre reverse-domino effect began, and Kai _somehow_ managed to stay ahead of death with this too—even though he was now running against the shelves' momentum. Every subsequent jump seemed more and more impossible.

"He's gonna die." Nya had her hands clamped over her mouth. "He's gonna die, he's gonna die, he's gonna—"

Once again Kai ran out of shelves. Now there was nowhere to go but into the wall. On the last shelf Kai faltered, swiveled his head around, then abruptly made another furious leap. Somehow, just barely, he managed to catch hold of a rafter overhead. He swung violently from both hands as the last of the shelves self-destructed below him, sparking and spewing shrapnel.

"WHOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!" His voice drifted faintly across the warehouse and grumbling of wreckage. He ripped off his ninja mask and waved it above his head triumphantly.

"And all of this on a broken wrist." Nya sank her face into her hands, exhausted with the family fate had assigned her.

"Geez." Lloyd looked jealous. "That was pretty cool."

"I'm gonna kill him," muttered Nya.

"On the topic of destroying computers, however, this was highly effective!" said Zane. "If we repeat this with one more row of shelves our job will be complete."

"Great," said Nya. "Let's go. But first I swear I'm tying Kai to a rafter."

* * *

In the control room, Jay was apprised to the situation. He watched with giddy satisfaction as row after row of failure lights snapped on, one after another, like the Ferris wheel lights at Mega Monster Amusement Park.

"We're doing it! We're doing it! We're almost there!" he whooped, spinning around and around in his chair.

"Jay." Cole sounded anything but enthused. "It's too quiet."

"What?" Jay snapped to a halt, laughing. "Well, if you really feel that way I guess I could do something about that—"

"No, Jay. I'm serious. Listen."

Cocking an eyebrow, Jay listened. Frank the Fire Truck's theme was just ending, and other than that he didn't notice anything unusual. Sure there were no more phone calls, but the others were busy now. The Technicians' hammering had stopped, but—

Wait.

"Woah." Jay raised his eyebrows. "Did the Techies all just give up?"

Cole gave him a withering look.

"The emergency exit, Jay. It was between the first and second emergency doors. They must have broken down the first door, but then instead of breaking down the second one to get at us, they all just . . . left."

"Huh," said Jay, scratching his head. "Weird."

"Weird?" said Cole incredulously. "Worse than weird, Jay. I don't like it."

"Pshhh. So they all decided we were too much trouble and they'd rather go home." Jay waved him off. He glanced to the panel of failure lights and broke into a grin when he saw the last few unlit lights had started to come alive, column by column. "Besides, look at that! We're done! The last computers are going down. Whatever those Techies are trying to pull, it won't matter, 'cos we're gonna be outta here within five—"

The room went supremely dark.

Cole and Jay both yelled in shock. Jay flailed, thrown off-balance and nearly toppling the swivel chair again. He pulled himself together, his heart still convulsing fitfully instead of beating. His head spun from the sudden total lack of visual input.

"What's happening?" Cole's voice sliced through the darkness. "What is it?"

"I—I—" Jay fumbled through the dark, feeling for switches, slapping random buttons, praying in vain for a response. Nothing.

Suddenly a single computer screen blazed to life, directly in front of his face. The onslaught of deep blue light momentarily blinded him. Gasping, he scrabbled for the keyboard, trying to type. When he lifted his eyes to the screen, his heart stopped.

 _Hello, Jay._

He stared, numb.

 _I won't lie, I'm impressed. Your little gang really knows how to trash a girl's dreams._

"What's happening?" Cole whispered behind him, his voice shaking.

 _In case you're wondering, yes, the power's out all over. But don't worry, I'll turn it back on._

The typing stopped. The text cursor jumped two rows and paused, blinking. Jay stared at it, hearing every beat of his heart, hearing every breath rushing into his lungs. The darkness remained.

 _But just one thing before you go, guys._

Another two lines.

 _I mean, fair's fair. You guys just broke a LOT of my stuff. I'll have to ask you to pay for it._

Two lines. A pause.

 _With your lives, if that's okay._


	95. Everything Is On Fire

**Oct 10**

 **2:45 AM**

 **Status conditions: FRICK**

* * *

The lights snapped on again. A deafening blast of music accompanied them, not anything that Jay had selected. Yelping, Jay grabbed for the keyboard again. Nothing responded. All the computers were on, but none of them would take any input.

"What's going on _now?_ " shouted Cole over the noise. "Do something!"

"I'm trying!" Jay cringed at the music, which was decidedly sinister. Sounded like the final boss of a horror video game. Lovely.

The lights flickered violently. Off in the distance Jay thought he heard a sizzling noise. What was happening to the others out there? If only he could get hold of a security camera feed—

"We've got to take down these security doors!" said Cole, already heading out of the control room. "We can get the others and escape through the back like the Technicians did!"

"No, Cole, wait!" Jay started up to follow him, but came up short when the phone suddenly rang. He hesitated, heart pounding. Then he snatched up the phone, not caring if it was a Technican boss or not.

"Jay! Cole! Are you there? What's happening?!" Lloyd's voice came through. Jay's breath seized at his little brother's tone—it was the sharp, crackling bark that meant he was taking charge, but also that he would be full-on panicking, if he had the luxury of time and irresponsibility.

"Silica has control of the building!" Jay gripped the receiver. "What's happ—"

"The place is full of traps! All the lights are out!" Lloyd coughed. "There was this huge electrical surge and a ton of the shelves caught fire!"

"What the—guys, you need to get out of there now!"

"We can't, the door's on fire!"

"Find a side door—"

"Those are on fire too!"

"Where the heck is Kai?!"

" _He's_ on fire!"

" _What?!_ " Jay howled. On the other end of the line, Lloyd looked over his shoulder to a mass of burning shelves. Kai was a dark silhouette storming back and forth through the inferno, cursing bloody murder and trying to clear out a safe, trap-free zone for them to shelter in. The cuffs of his overalls were indeed in flames, but that seemed to be extremely low on his list of concerns.

"Lloyd. Lloyd listen, listen." Jay paced fitfully in the limited range of the phone's cord. "Head to the back of the warehouse. Cole and I are gonna—"

The phone line suddenly burst into static. Far, far away, distorted and faint, he could hear Lloyd shouting his name. Then the static swelled over that too. Gradually it gave way to a deep, sinister laugh. Gritting his teeth, Jay slammed the phone back onto the hook. He didn't have time to be creeped out, he had to save the others.

He headed for the hallway and nearly plowed into Cole, who was coming back the other way. His jaw was tight.

"Anything?" he rapped.

"Lloyd phoned, I tried to tell him to meet us in the back room, there's traps and fire, Silica took the phone line, I don't know if he heard me, they're—" Jay broke off as Cole seized his arm.

"You need to open the door," he said, hauling Jay down the hall. The second security door (or first, from their direction) was still immobile in their path. There were a few dents in it, and Jay noticed Cole looked more disheveled than he had a minute ago. Ramming straight against things was clearly still his method of choice.

Jay fumbled for an electrical connection, feeling desperately for the circuitry that could lift the door. His hands were shaking; he couldn't stop thinking about the others, trapped among fire and death traps. It was his fault they were in danger. _Nya._ He'd put _her_ in danger. He couldn't focus, couldn't think, the glowing mental map of wires just wouldn't appear—

Cole's hand landed on his shoulder.

"Chill, Jay. Just focus. Find it."

Jay drew in a slow breath and shut his eyes, struggling to sort himself out. All that stuff he always heard about contagious calmness was total bunk. Although, the knowledge that Cole could squeeze dents into a solid metal bar and might tighten his grip if angered probably helped. Somewhat.

At long last he found the circuit. He shot it full of electricity, and the door screeched upwards in its tracks. Immediately there was a gurgling, sloshing noise, and a flood of cold water rushed over Jay's feet.

"Water?!" he yelped. "What's happening?"

Cole didn't even wait for the door to reach the halfway point before ducking under it, and Jay followed right after. The wreckage of the other security gate lay in front of them, along with a discarded battering ram. It was made out of a giant wooden beam of some sort.

"That must be a part of the dam." Jay looked uneasily at the water flowing around his ankles. "Is it broken?!"

"This doesn't look like an entire creek," said Cole, but his voice was tense.

They plowed on into the dam room. It was pitch-dark and fairly quiet—there was no music here, no death traps. However, there was also a very disturbing steady watery sound, like a mini-waterfall. That was ominous.

Jay stumbled towards the wall, feeling for one of the recessed lights. They were doubtless connected to a capacitor, so if he shot them full of lightning they'd shine for a while afterwards.

Soon the dam room was again lit with a sickly blue glow. The security gate blocking off the warehouse was still firmly down, but right now they had a more pressing problem.

"Dammit," said Cole. Jay was too shaken to even notice the pun. The dam holding back the creek was no longer at its full height—one side was drooping by at least half a foot. The creek behind it was creating so much pressure that the water wasn't even spilling over, but was instead spraying halfway across the dam room.

"So _that's_ where they got their battering ram," groaned Cole. Jay looked where he was pointing. There were two giant winches on the floor, one on either side of the room, both of them trailing heavy chains to the ceiling. The chains passed through twin pulleys, then fastened to the top of the dam gate. One of them was tight, the other was slack—that was the side of the dam that was sagging—and when Jay looked at either of the corresponding winches, he understood why. One of the winches had a familiar wooden beam jammed under its spokes, preventing it from turning; the other one had none. Its chain dangled slackly, swinging as creek water hit it.

For a second Jay could only stare, utterly overwhelmed at the insanity of this construction. The dam that prevented the Technicians' entire secret base from flooding—that kept their prized katamari from shorting out and possibly electrocuting everyone in the building—and they were propping it closed with _frigging doorstops_. What the actual heck. He was used to dealing with villains who boasted much better resources—supernatural powers, dark magic, armies of vicious fighters, mines of pure liquid evil, palaces with secret passages and factory dungeons. Now here was this insane organization, staffed with volunteers and mercenary drug dealers, stealing and force-wiring PCs for their ultimate weapon, basically constructing their main base out of tin cans and clothespins. He didn't know if that made them less or more terrifying.

He was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of Cole running. The capacitors had drained and the lights had gone out, but he could hear water splashing in the direction of the security gate. There was a violent thud.

"Sturdy," gritted Cole. Jay heard him backing up again.

"What are you doing?" he called. "Shouldn't we do something about the dam?"

"The others are out there trapped in a firestorm," Cole shouted over the rush of water. "Meanwhile we're in here about to drown. I feel like one of those problems might help with the other."

"But what if the dam totally breaks?"

"We'll worry about that _after_ we rescue the others!"

Nodding, Jay recharged the lights and scrambled up a support post, searching for the motor that must lift the security door. He cringed when he saw the remaining taut chain nearby, trembling from the strain of holding up the entire dam on its own. He could've sworn he could _see_ the links stretching.

Down below Cole was still ramming himself against the security door—probably just to feel like he was doing something. Teeth clamped over his lip, Jay finally located the motor. It was damp from creek spray, but he plugged it full of lightning anyway. Screeching, it began to run, dragging up the security gate garage-door style. Immediately the swinging doors to the warehouse flapped outward, letting a wave of water out and a wave of smoke and orange light in. The hot breeze was heavy with the acrid smell of burning electronics. Cole coughed.

"We've got to find the others!" he shouted up to Jay. "Do you have any idea where to look?"

"I told them to head to the back, but I don't know if Lloyd heard me," said Jay, dropping to the floor and casting the dam a final anxious look. "Maybe they'll see the water flooding out and realize we—"

He was interrupted by a tremulous metallic screeching sound. Something groaned and cracked.

"What was . . . "

Both of them turned to look with trepidation at the remaining functional winch. The weight of the dam was starting to rip it gradually out of the floor.

"That . . . doesn't look good . . . " said Jay thinly.

Cole looked between the winch and the warehouse a few times, then made up his mind. Just as he approached the winch, hoping to somehow ease the strain placed on it, the entire construction gave a violent lurch. The chain finally reached its limit and snapped, right by the winch. The geyser of water spurting over the dam top instantly became a broad, frothing deluge.

"No no NO!" yelped Jay. As the broken chain slithered up through the pulley, Cole lunged to snatch hold of the writhing links. He stumbled, skidding, then got his feet underneath him and dug in his heels. The dam gate groaned and jounced. Its descent slowed. Jay watched in horrified fascination as every inch Cole's feet slipped translated directly into an extra burst of water splashing over the dam's top.

Finally it creaked to a stop, hung askew, one side higher than the other. A broad waterfall was still gushing over it, but at least it wasn't opening any further. Cole opened his eyes slowly, panting, and looked the situation up and down. Then he glanced at Jay and gave a short huff of despairing amusement.

"Yay?"

"C-can you pull it back up?" asked Jay.

"Jay, if I even twitch a shoulder, this thing is gonna yank me off my feet and slam my head into the ceiling. That dam weighs wayyyyyy more than I do." Cole's voice was tight. His arms shook slightly.

"Oh shoot. I'll help!" Jay dashed over to the other, unspooled winch and grabbed the slack chain. He threw his entire weight against it, digging his feet hard into the floor. The chain tightened against his hands, vibrating from the rush of water over the dam.

"Heh, Jay." Cole smiled across at him. He was measuring out his breaths now, beads of sweat trickling down his temples. "No—'ffense buddy—but I really—can't tell the difference."

Jay blinked across at him for a moment. Then he scowled and dropped the chain. Cole managed a breathless laugh.

"s'fine, Sparky. Go find the others."

As if on cue, the warehouse doors suddenly burst all the way open, stirring up a hot draft. The rest of the invasion party stumbled in through a haze of smoke, coughing.

" _Guys!_ You're okay!" Jay's first impulse was to shoot over and tackle-hug them, but he skidded to a halt when he noticed Kai. He looked murdery.

" _Are_ you okay? Guys?" Jay settled for twitching anxiously at a safe distance, checking the others over. They were battered and sooty, Kai sporting some burns and Nya a bleeding shoulder. With a spike of panic, Jay noticed that Lloyd was barely standing, supported by Zane, his eyes unfocused.

"Wh-what—What happened?"

Kai finally deigned to look his way, but Jay quickly wished he hadn't. The contempt in his expression was like a physical slap. The red ninja turned back to Lloyd, whom Nya and Zane were attempting to bring around.

"Is he okay?" persisted Jay, too worried to care if he wasn't welcome.

"Some of the sleeping gas," said Nya briskly, as Lloyd finally groaned and stood on his own two feet, rubbing his eyes. "There's a lot of stuff going on out there. He'll be fine." She finally turned to look at the dam room, and her eyebrows shot up. "What's going on in _here?"_

Cole only blew out a resigned breath, too strained to speak.

"How can we help?" Nya was already rolling up her sleeves.

"I—uhh—we—" Jay scrabbled for some kind of plan.

"Get out," gritted Cole. He jerked his head slightly towards the hallway.

"Right!" said Jay, relieved. "There's an escape hatch back there!"

"But what about Cole? We cannot leave him here," said Zane. The earth ninja gave a dismissive growl.

"You guys go," said Jay, eager to make amends. "I'll stay and figure out some way to stabilize the chain, at least for a little while, so Cole can let go."

The others exchanged looks.

"If you're staying, we're staying," said Kai. His tone was more harsh than warm, but either way it brooked no denial. Cole rolled his eyes soulfully, and Jay had to agree.

"Guys, there's no point in you staying here where—"

"Are you going to fix that chain or not?"

Jay winced again. For a second he tried to think of something to say, but at last he only hung his head and turned away to start working. He clambered up to the ceiling again, hoping he could reconfigure the motor from the security door to lift the dam instead.

Down below he could hear the others asking Cole if he was all right and if there was anything they could do. He couldn't help a strange little stab of resentment. Yes, he knew he'd just spent a lot of time making himself annoying and basically _creating_ this mess, and yes, he knew Cole was doing something pretty incredible right now. But still. For a while there Jay'd had control of this entire base—why did no one ever think _his_ contributions were cool? All he ever got was people angry at him.

He looked despairingly through the motor circuitry, trying to figure something out. Suddenly it all seemed hopelessly complicated. Fantastic. They were all gonna die.

There was a scuffling nearby.

"Jay, can I help?"

He pulled his head out of the motor and found Nya perched nearby, watching him.

"I—I don't know." He pushed his sweaty hair back from his eyes. "I have no idea what to do."

She must have noticed something off in his face or his voice, because she squinted appraisingly.

"What's this for?" she asked at last, nodding at the motor.

"It—it lifted the security door. I thought I could get it to lift the dam instead." Jay tugged on a wire, trying to hide that his hands were shaking. "It's not configured right, there's no way we could hook the chain to it without tools or anything, I don't know what else to do, we—"

"Heyyyyyyyy. Shhhh." Nya motioned for him to tone it down. "Easy, Jay. Focus. We'll figure something out."

"Like _what_ —"

Nya clicked her tongue and gave his shoulder a light shake, wordlessly ordering him to snap out of it. When he stopped talking she quicky swiped the grease from his cheek and gave him a soft kiss, then moved to the other side of the motor to begin working herself. Jay let out a long breath, feeling his panic melting into a familiar slushy warmth.

"We'll have to invert it." Nya was already dragging wires out of the motor's insides. "We'll need more parts. Lloyd, stand under that waterfall until you're awake. Kai, Zane, get up here."

The dam room became a nest of feverish activity. Kai and Zane clambered amongst the ceiling machinery, ripping apart everything they could find. Lloyd soon recovered and joined them. Jay and Nya crammed the parts together into a ghastly outgrowth of the original motor, cross-hooking cogs and pistons. They were working so fast Jay couldn't even keep track of what he was doing. Sometimes he would look with bewilderment at a collection of gears, wondering where it had come from, only to realize he'd installed that himself.

Occasionally someone shouted down reassurance to Cole, not that it made a difference. The earth ninja had shut down all extraneous systems, channeling all his energy into holding up the dam, keeping them alive. Now that Jay's mini-sulk was over, he could again find it in him to appreciate Cole's efforts.

"Can anyone find a gear just a little bigger than this one?" he shouted hoarsely. The smoke from the next room burned his throat, and the rush of water, rumble of fire, and continuing creepy music were difficult to talk over.

"We need more wires too!" Nya stretched a tangle of wires as far as she could. "Lots more wires!"

Kai found the generators and began ripping them apart too. The creepy music finally cut out, along with all the other power in the entire base.

Now Lloyd kept busy lighting up the room with his green energy. Kai and Zane kept raiding. Jay and Nya hammered gears into place, cursing their lack of screwdrivers.

"Still need more wires!" Nya swiped away sweat with her sleeve. "Come on guys, hurry!'

"There aren't any more wires!" Kai shouted back. "We've torn up everything in this room."

Now there was a fresh source of panic. They checked over all the machinery again, tried to pull out the wall lights, even made some brief forays into the burning warehouse next door. Nothing usable came up.

"Maybe we can reconfigure the ones we already have." Teeth gritted, Jay rummaged through the unholy device he and Nya had built. "Give me a second, I'll try to find some unnecessary ones—"

"Take mine," said a voice by his ear.

Jay and Nya both turned to Zane, who was balanced on the nearest rafter. The Nindroid had already opened his arm compartment and was starting to detach the wiring inside. His wrist on that arm had already gone limp.

"Woah woah _woah,_ Zane, we can't just take your insides!" said Jay, appalled.

"I can get new wires put in later," said Zane. He tugged out a fistful of his own circuitry and held it out to them. "If we don't get out of here, there will not _be_ a later."

"Zane, no." Jay turned back to the motor resolutely. "That's just messed-up, we're not doing tha—"

"Shut up and take them!"

Jay nearly hit his head on the motor casing. He snapped around to stare at Zane. The Nindroid was still holding out the wires, although you could see he was internally undergoing the "did I actually just say that?!" process.

Jay squinted at him for a moment more, then shook his head and wagged a finger in mock censure.

"I don't know what Lloyd's been teaching you, but I'm gonna have words with him."

Zane broke into a smile. Shaking his head again, Jay took the wires, passed half of them to Nya, and began twisting them into the circuitry. He felt pretty squeamish about using his brother's insides to build an escape mechanism, but he could confront his guilt later. When they weren't all about to die.

Finally they completed construction. Feverishly they wound the remaining slack chain through the converted motor, praying that their screw-free efforts wouldn't fall apart under tension. Taking a deep breath, Jay ran some lightning through it.

The device groaned and made the full range of worrisome mechanical noises. Then, against all hope, the gears began to turn. The chain rattled and drew taut, everything shuddered and groaned, and then, miraculously, the dam began to lift.

"Can you feel a difference now, Cole?!" Jay hollered above the others' cheering.

Cole wasn't paying attention. He was still keeled over where he'd been standing, his sides heaving.

"You're all right, Cole." Zane padded over, crouched next to him, and put a soothing hand on his shoulder. "We're safe now. You did marvelously."

Cole opened his eyes blearily and tried to smile. He fixated on Zane's limp arm for a moment, with its panel still open. For a second he stared at it, but then he only closed his eyes again. It seemed it would be a while before he caught his breath.

"Don't lie there too long, Dirtclod." Jay slid down the nearest support post. "That device is _not_ gonna hold for long. We've gotta get out of here!"

"Lead us to the escape hatch, Jay," said Nya.

Kai bent to pull Cole up, intending to support or carry him. Opening one eye, Cole smacked his hand away and began the laborious process of heaving himself off the floor. In the end he did need Kai's help getting onto his feet, although he was able to more or less stand on his own after that.

"Come on, let's go!" Jay was already waving the others down the hallway.

They found the escape hatch and scrabbled eagerly up through the dark, knowing they were only inches away from freedom.

Only they weren't.

"Why doesn't it open?" Lloyd hammered at the ceiling, where the escape hatch should be. He lit a fistful of green light, found a handle, rattled it. Hammered again. Nothing.

Everyone's hearts simultaneously sank through the floor.

* * *

"It _must_ be functional!" Jay paced furiously, tugging at his hair. The dam was leaking less now, but his feet were still splashing through several inches of water as he walked. Cole, despite his exhaustion, was still up in the escape hatch trying to power through it. Kai was with him to make sure he didn't pass out or something. The others were holding counsel in the dam room.

"It must open!" Jay insisted. "That's how all the Technicians got out in the first place!"

"That explains it, then," said Lloyd glumly. "After they got out, they locked it behind them."

Jay sucked on his teeth. All that work assembling the reverse motor was going to be pointless if they were trapped in here anyway. The motor wasn't going to hold forever, either. Every now and then it made a dangerous crunching sound, and everyone would tense up.

He sucked in his breath.

"Hey," he said. "I'll go out through the front. Then I can go around and open the escape hatch from the outside."

"What, through the warehouse? It's all fire and acres of broken glass out there," said Nya.

"I am more resistant to that," put in Zane. "I could go."

"But you won't know how to fix the broken elevator!" said Jay. "And . . . and this is my fault. I should fix it."

"Jay . . . " began Nya, then shut her eyes and sighed. "We'll talk later, Jay. Are you sure you can make it?"

"Sure." Jay tried to smile bravely. "Don't worry about me. Worry about staying in here with that motor about to give out."

Time and experience had taught Jay nothing about keeping his big mouth shut. As soon as he was done speaking, the converted motor gave a particularly ominous crunch.

Jay's attention snapped up to the motor. To his horror, it was beginning to shift. Gravity had finally worn it down, and inch by inch it was bending, straining the shoddy connections he and Nya had made.

As the ninja watched, frozen, it gave a particularly violent shudder and bent several degrees all at once. There was a snapping sound. Everyone turned to the dam, their eyes widening. It was again sinking inexorably lower.

"We need to—" whispered Nya.

The motor groaned one last time. Then it gave way entirely, shattering into an explosion of gears and ripping wires.

The dam crashed all the way down. The creek, indifferent to human life, returned to its natural course.


	96. He Protec, But He Also ATAC

**?**

 **!**

 **Hi guys! Hoo, back again. Thank you so much for over 1,500 reviews! Gosh, this is incredible. ^_^'' Gonna keep this story slowly chugging!**

 **Oh, and I've been hearing that some folks didn't get a notification for the last chapter, because FFN was having a temper tantrum and throwing everything it saw into the screaming abyss. So if this chapter seems to start out of nowhere, that might be it. ^_^''**

* * *

 **Oct 10**

 **4:21 AM**

 **Status conditions: Unknown**

* * *

"Still nothing?" said CapsLock.

"Mmm." Silica clicked listlessly through a few windows. All the readouts were blank or flatlining. They had completely lost contact with Base Zero half an hour ago—they could only assume the fire had finally destroyed the power system.

"Should I tell the crew that they can stop guarding the exits?" said Cap.

"I don't know."

"I mean, it's beyond any chance they'd escape now, right?" said Cap.

Silica's head dipped slightly.

"Yeah, whatever. Call whoever you want."

CapsLock squinted at her dubiously, but said nothing. Pulling out his phone, he began to text various Technician sub-bosses.

"This is going to be hell," he grumbled between texts. "How long is it gonna take to steal an entire new katamari's worth of computers? Where are we gonna find another Base Zero?"

"I dunno." Silica's voice was muffled. She had folded her arms atop the table and buried her head in them. CapsLock eyed her again, but turned his attention away when his phone vibrated.

"FSM. Blue won't be satisfied until he goes in and finds the bodies."

Silica visibly shuddered.

"Whatever," she said into her arms. "Tell him he can do whatever."

"I'm glad you're giving your permission, because he didn't wait for it," said Cap.

No reply from Silica. Cap stared at her again.

"This isn't about the katamari, is it," he said. "It's not about our base."

"Can you just go away?"

"Get a hold of yourself, woman!" CapsLock shoved his phone back into his pocket, irritated. "You signed up for this. You _orchestrated_ this! How are we supposed to run this project with a leader who can't handle offing some teenage punks over long distance?"

"I didn't sign up to kill." Silica sat up, rubbing at her face. "I never signed up to kill."

"Should have occurred to you before you hired Blue," snapped CapsLock.

"I _know_ , I know!" Silica barked back. Her voice shook. "But I didn't know it would go this deep. I didn't know it would be this hard. I didn't know _I'd_ be killing them myself. How was I supposed to know that? And—they were just _kids_ , Nico, they were just _kids_ —They didn't even say goodbye to their—"

She broke off, choking. For a moment it was quiet.

"Pick a side, Sil." Cap's voice was hard. "You can't keep trying to keep a foot in both camps. Are you the leader of this outfit, or are you on their side?"

Silica kept her head down, silent.

"Great time to have a moral dilemma!" Cap growled. "You've already created a mess bigger than we can get out of. Do you want to go to jail? I sure as hell don't want to go to jail. And I'm not the one facing six murder charges."

"Just shut up, okay?" Silica's voice was thick with resignation. "I get it. I'm moving on. I can fix this. Just . . . just give me a moment, would you?"

Cap rolled his eyes, but let her be.

* * *

Jay's consciousness returned just in time. Lungs burning, he pushed himself off his stomach, yanking his head out of the water. By now he was so used to having fluid in his airway that he didn't even panic anymore. He just sat there resignedly snorting and spewing till he could breathe.

He looked around. He was out in the warehouse, and nobody else was in sight. It was something of a hellscape, lit only by fire. On one side loomed shelves full of gutted computers and surrounded by scattered wreckage. On the other side the shelves were overturned, crumpled atop each other, jagged beams sticking out like broken bones. Smoke drifted around everything, making the air seem gray and shimmery, shin-deep water gurgled fitfully around the wreckage, and flames still rippled over everything the water didn't reach.

Jay coughed again, this time from the smoke. It smelled awful.

"Guys?" he shouted, and began to slosh through the water. He had to find someone, anyone. They couldn't all have drowned, could they? No, no, no. They were tough. They were competent. More or less they could all swim. They were fine. No panicking. No.

"Guys!" He rotated as he walked, scanning for any sign of movement other than the flames. Then he nearly pitched over backwards as a _very_ insistent pain shot through his foot. As he stumbled, gasping, he saw the water around him turn a sinister thicker black. Blood. Broken glass. How could he have forgotten?! This place must be littered with it.

Gritting his teeth, he limped over to an overturned shelf and leaned on it. He began to gingerly work over his foot, feeling for the glass, gently easing it out. Impatiently he pressed at the wound, trying to stem the bleeding. He could barely see what he was doing at times—a particularly heavy bank of smoke had rolled in, and he couldn't stop coughing. It smelled like vinegar and paint thinner.

Then, inevitably, it got into his eyes. He'd had smoke in his eyes before, and it was never fun, but this was worse than anything he'd felt prior. His eyes smarted so badly he couldn't breathe for a second, and if he'd been holding anything at the moment he'd probably have put an eye out. He scrubbed furiously at his eyelids, tasting salt as tears streamed down his face. Were his eyeballs _melting?_ This was torture.

At long last the pain subsided to a faint, bearable burn. Sucking in a smoky breath, Jay heaved himself to his feet, chagrined. The others could be seriously hurt, or _worse_. They might need his help. And here he was, stalled by a little glass and smoke? What if—

Wait.

He'd thought his eyes were open. He tried again. They _were_ already open.

Why couldn't he see anything?

Gripped by panic, he felt at his face. It was wet, but his eyelids were there. When he closed his eyes he could feel the eyeballs behind the lids, still smarting, but _there_. He opened his eyes again. Still complete darkness.

No. Nonononono.

Panic was really setting in now. He lurched forward and grabbed at the overturned shelf for balance, panting. What could he do? Where could he go? There could be broken glass anywhere around here. He couldn't see it, he couldn't see the shelves or the wreckage or the fire. He couldn't see the _door_. He would die long before he ever got out of—

"Jay!" There was a familiar shout nearby, Lloyd's voice, laden with relief. For a second Jay's knees went weak with matching relief. He wasn't alone anymore.

Then terror seized him again.

"Don't come closer!" he shouted, turning blindly in the direction he'd heard Lloyd's voice. "The smoke—don't come!"

He heard sloshing footsteps in the distance, but then they stopped. He stumbled in the direction he'd heard them, coughing.

"Jay?" Lloyd's tense voice reappeared, guiding him. "Jay what's wrong?!"

The footsteps restarted, and abruptly Jay felt a hand catch his shoulder. Caught off-guard, he grabbed at Lloyd's arms for balance.

"I can't see," he croaked. "I can't see."

Lloyd didn't move for a second. Didn't speak.

"I'm sorry." Jay shook his head miserably.

"No, don't. It's not—" Lloyd drew in his breath. "It's okay. First we need to get out."

"But—"

"I'll lead you. Just follow." Lloyd's hand closed firmly around Jay's wrist. Jay felt and heard him walk past, tugging him around to continue onwards.

"The smoke—" he began.

"It's okay. It's clearing now."

"There's broken glass too."

"On it."

Lloyd shifted, and Jay heard the whine of green energy. Lloyd must be sweeping their path. As they moved, Jay also heard a strange hollow, clattering noise. It sounded like metal.

"Lloyd?" He stumbled. "What's that?"

A beat.

"Zane," said Lloyd shortly.

Jay froze. Without thinking he reached out. Where Lloyd's back should be, he felt smooth, cold metal.

"What happened?!"

"I don't know," said Lloyd. "He's totally out. His . . . his arm panel was still open."

Jay swallowed. If Zane had short circuited, he was as good as dead.

"Are his eyes open?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"No. Closed."

"Okay. Okay, that's good." Jay tried to calm down. "He might have just powered down _before_ the water got in. To prevent a short."

"Oh." Lloyd kept walking, but Jay felt a slight tremble shoot down his arm. He must not have known that was an option.

"It's gonna be okay, Lloyd," he said hoarsely. He couldn't believe he was saying that—here he was, blinded, bleeding, searing headache, absolutely no guarantee they could get out alive—but somehow he wanted to be reassuring.

Then a thought struck him.

"What about the others?" he rasped. "Are—are they—"

"I don't know," said Lloyd. "I checked everywhere I could. The creek is coming out of the dam room really hard, I couldn't get back in there. I—I tried to check if—if anyone . . . "

He trailed off, letting out a sharp breath. Jay fought back the sudden urge to retch. He'd been washed out through the doors himself, but the others might not have been so lucky. They might have been trapped against the walls of the dam room, pinned there by rushing water. Nya. Where had Nya been standing? He struggled to remember.

"We have to go back," he said his voice laced with panic. "We have to find her."

"The creek churns a lot in the dam room," said Lloyd quietly.

Meaning, she'd have been washed out by now. Dead or alive. Jay really did retch this time.

"It was also flooding the hall," continued Lloyd. "She might have been pushed into there instead. Then she could have climbed up the escape hatch with Cole and Kai."

Jay said nothing. He gripped tighter onto Lloyd's arm. They kept walking.

* * *

The sliding doors leading out of the warehouse were a charred mess. Water was already gushing through the weakened metal as the creek hungrily continued seeking its original course. Lloyd blasted the rest of the way through, creating an opening large enough for the three of them. The other doors—the ones they'd asked Mack about, the ones they'd prepared so hard to pass—were all open.

Water was everywhere. It seemed like the creek had turned into an ocean. It pushed at their shins as they walked, as if urging them to leave as fast as possible.

Jay stumbled mutely after Lloyd, his heart pounding. How long was this walk? How many doors were there?

He tensed as an all-too-familiar rushing noise drifted from up ahead. For a moment he was confused. That sounded like a waterfall, but now that the creek was no longer being forced over the warehouse, there shouldn't be a waterfall, should there?

"What's happening?" he asked.

"There's a new waterfall," said Lloyd, and coughed. "The water's running off the sides of that walkway that passed next to the old waterfall."

"Is it gonna suck us off?" asked Jay anxiously. Falling off that walkway once in his life was already too much.

"I think it's okay," said Lloyd. "Most of the railings are still—"

He broke off so abruptly that Jay knew something was wrong.

"Mack!"

"What? Where?" Jay gasped.

Mack was standing in the middle of the walkway. He was just at the edge of the creekwater—the point where the last of it drained into the chasm below, sluicing off one side of the walkway or the other. The last few inches of water straggled over his feet. He was haggard and unsteady, his clothes stained a rusty brown from his reopened wounds. Most importantly, though, he was holding one of venom guns that had been built into the walls.

"Mack?" said Lloyd. "What are you doing? Let us through."

Jay shivered. He had no clue what was happening, but it sounded bad.

Mack only raised the venom gun, wading a few steps into the creek so he could get within range.

"Mack, no," said Lloyd. "Put the gun down. You don't have to do this."

Mack's aim on them didn't falter.

"We've destroyed your base," said Lloyd. "We've destroyed everything the Technicians built. There's nothing left for you to gain. You don't have to do this anymore."

"That's what you think, punk." Mack's growl sliced through the whoosh of the waterfall under his feet. "My bosses are still out there. We can still bounce back. And I can still get in good with the chief—if I make the right moves."

His finger tightened on the gun trigger.

"Don't do this," said Lloyd, one final time. "Mack, come on. Come with us. You know we're not going to hurt you. You _know_. You could be safe."

For a moment only the noise of the waterfall. Jay waited, tense. Suddenly there was a clatter of metal, and without warning Zane's cold, heavy form pressed against him.

"Hold Zane," said Lloyd.

"What?!" Jay stumbled under the weight, clumsily trying to stand the Nindroid upright. "Lloyd? Lloyd, what's happening?!"

He heard an energy ball being charged and fired, then the _schak!_ of a katana being drawn. Water splashed as Lloyd lunged away from him.

"What are you doing?" Jay shouted helplessly.

Some distance away metal clanged. There was a sharp snapping sound—the venom gun firing, Jay realized with horror—but after that he heard Lloyd's katana strike metal again. Was he okay? Had the shot missed? What was happening?

He _hated_ not being able to help, but there was nothing he could do blind. He couldn't even take a step closer, one wrong move and he'd be sucked over the edge. He also felt a little bad because he was mayyyybe just a little bit using Zane as a shield, in case there were stray venom darts. But darts weren't a problem for the Nindroid, after all, and it's not like Jay had any other way to protect himself.

Out on the walkway, Lloyd levered himself off a creaking railing, struggling to find an opening. The first venom shot had indeed missed. Mack was readying for another. Attempts to strike the gun from his hands were failing. Energy balls at this range would be deadly. Lloyd's next strategy was to get in far enough to wound one or both of Mack's hands.

Mack's objectives were more long-term. The poor aim that had spared Zane and Lloyd way back in Ninjago City Park was hardly a factor at this range, and he took full advantage of the fact that Lloyd was hesitant to hit him.

He aimed for the chest, out of habit—really it didn't matter where he struck, as long as the syringe discharged. As Lloyd's katana snaked towards his wrist, straining to nip through his skin, Mack calmly pulled the trigger. A dart snapped from the unwieldy device's muzzle.

Lloyd's katana immediately sprang back and slashed, glinting in the green light of Lloyd's free hand. A spray of dark liquid and glass fragments arced in the blade's wake.

Cursing in disbelief, Mack fired again. Lloyd again sliced the dart out of midair. He did the same for the third. A pause as Mack tried to catch Lloyd off-guard. Then a fourth.

"What the hell _are_ you?!" Mack lowered the venom gun, his face furious. Lloyd only gave a grim smile, his katana poised to keep defending.

He did well not to lower his guard. Mack's next move was to swing the venom gun back and slam it towards Lloyd's head. Deftly Lloyd tilted back his katana, blocking, forcing the makeshift club to glance to the side. Mack immediately arced it around and swung from the side. Flailing and clubbing, he bore down with such fury that Lloyd had to retreat a few steps.

Lloyd lost patience. Increasing the twist of green light in his free fist, he hurled it underhand, hoping to clip the venom gun and not Mack himself. He caught the device square in the center, melting a sizzling dent into its side, then immediately ducked as Mack retaliated with an extra-furious swing.

The dodge should have worked out just fine, but Lloyd built it on false premises. He'd thought the railing next to the pathway was more firmly attached than it really was. While dodging he braced against it, and without warning it moved. Not enough to break away, or even put Lloyd in particular danger of falling—but enough to catch him off guard and force him to regain his balance. The second that took was a second too long. Mack slammed the venom gun into his head.

Lloyd hissed, more stunned than actually hurt. He meant to lunge at Mack again, but Mack was already ramming against him as hard as he could. The railing creaked and bent more. Lloyd teetered, snatched at air—then the railed groaned and swung upside-down off the edge of the walkway, flipping Lloyd with it.

At the last second he grabbed the railing, swinging over the abyss. The creek deluged down over his head, blinding him, dragging him downwards. Coughing, he struggled to keep his grip on the wet, slippery metal. He couldn't pull himself up against the weight of the pouring water. He couldn't breathe either. With every second he could feel his fingers slipping just a little more.

Unexpectedly, a vice grip snatched his wrist, and someone started dragging him upwards. Clutching for the railing and scrabbling with his feet, he did his best to help.

Finally the crash of water slipped away, and he felt himself burst into the open again. Someone gripped at his arms, keeping him more or less upright as he struggled for air. Spluttering, he opened his eyes, wondering how in the world Jay had managed to save him blind. It wasn't Jay, though.

"Mack?" Lloyd panted, blinking through dripping eyelashes. In between gasps for air he broke into a smile. "H—hey—"

"Save it, kid," said Mack. "I need to show the chief a body."

"Wha—"

Whatever breath Lloyd may have regained was knocked right back out as Mack punched him in the stomach. Before he could recover from that he took a second blow to the jaw. He lashed out in return, but he was off-balance and utterly winded; within seconds Mack had toppled him over and pinned him on his back, well under the rushing water of the creek.

Lloyd would barely have been able to breathe even standing up. His spasming lungs kept struggling to draw in, sucking in more and more water. Mack's knee dug into his stomach, his hands driving Lloyd's shoulders back to the concrete. _Air_ , for the love of—everything burned—his brain was starting to shut down—

Desperate, Lloyd yanked twin globes of energy into his fists. Dragging his hands up as far as they'd go, he let the energy balls explode, blowing Mack backwards. The weight atop him disappeared, but he didn't wait around; he knew it could come back almost instantly. Gasping, retching, he yanked himself upright and scrambled to his feet.

He wasn't even breathing yet, but he was already scanning for his opponent. Mack was . . . not there. Gone.

Eyes wide, Lloyd lurched towards the sagging railing. Clutching at one of the remaining sections, he leaned way over the edge, looking for signs of life. Nothing. No one there.

For a second he stared at the frothing streamers of white, rushing endlessly away into the abyss. Water spurted from his lungs with each breath, but he barely noticed. Mindlessly he pushed himself back, stumbled to his feet. He turned in a slow circle, searching in every direction. As if he'd find something if he just looked a little longer.

Still no one.

Something in his eyes finally died. Retching up a final mouthful of water, he hung his head, turned away, and trudged back to the start of the bridge. Jay was still standing there, clutching Zane.

"Who's there?" he called tensely. "Lloyd?"

"It's me," said Lloyd hoarsely.

"What happened? How'd you win? Where's Mack?" Jay felt purposefully towards Lloyd's voice, as if determined to check by touch if it was really him.

"It's fine," said Lloyd. "Give me Zane."

"Lloyd? . . . " Jay went still. "What's wrong?"

Before Lloyd could answer, a sudden noise cut them off. It was faint, almost hidden by the sound of rushing water, but unmistakable—a gunshot. It was coming from up ahead.

Lloyd was instantly back in action. He snatched Zane and grabbed Jay's wrist, dragging him back the way they'd come, away from the bridge.

"Lloyd, what are you doing? We can't go back to the warehouse!" protested Jay.

"They must have got through the elevator," said Lloyd. "We have to hide!"

"Hide _where_ —"

"Take a deep breath!"

" _WHAT_ —" Then Jay thought better of it and just obeyed. Just as he'd guessed, Lloyd dragged him down under the water. Cold, roaring pressure closed over their heads. Even though it made no difference either way, Jay shut his eyes. He could feel Zane's motionless form pressed next to him, Lloyd's hand between his shoulderblades keeping him down. This was crazy. How long would it take for the search party to pass them by? Were they really hidden, just because the water was moving? Were they far enough off the path? He braced, waiting for a bullet to plunge into his back.

Up above the water, nothing stirred. After a few seconds, a faint light shone from around the corner, from the direction of the elevator. Slowly the light brightened, bobbing purposefully.

Seconds later Nash came around the corner, at a brisk stride. He had a small flashlight in one hand and a shotgun in the other. He saw the water pouring off either side of the walkway, but he barely paid attention—just plowed right in. Flicking the flashlight in every direction, he stormed along the walkway and onwards towards the warehouse. Every now and then his tongue flickered out to check the air, but it was hopeless—all he could smell was smoke and water.

He passed through the first open security door. A few long, agonizing seconds later, Lloyd and Jay burst up into the air again, struggling not to gasp too loudly. Jay was almost too scared to breathe at all—one false move and Nash would hear them and turn right back around.

Lloyd didn't speak. He snatched up Zane's waterlogged form, grabbed Jay, and ran.

Jay stumbled after him, struggling to keep the pace. Any minute now. Any minute Nash would hear them and they would die. Every footstep sounded like a jet engine taking off to his water-filled ears.

Water sloshed around his legs. After only a few strides he felt it change direction, sucking hungrily to the left and right. Lloyd kept dragging him forwards. The water's force grew less, sank down past his shins, past his ankles, past his feet. Then suddenly he was running on dry ground, his wet feet slapping against concrete.

Lloyd changed direction, and Jay stumbled again. He realized they must be turning the corner to the elevator. A tiny, probably premature burst of relief shot through him. They were at least out of sight now. Out of the line of fire. Maybe it would even be harder to hear them.

Lloyd stopped, and Jay immediately panicked again. Had someone else come down the elevator? Of course! Of course they'd send down multiple people!

Lloyd again shoved Zane into his arms, again almost knocking him backwards.

"He's basically shot out the whole elevator roof," said Lloyd, his voice low. "Let me check if anyone's waiting for us up top."

Jay relaxed again. Marginally. He stood in silence, listening as Lloyd scrabbled up through the elevator ceiling. Zane's limp, heavy form dribbled water down his front. Grimacing, he shifted to carrying the Nindroid on his back, struggling not to clank too much. What was taking Lloyd so long?

Finally, he heard shuffling and pattering coming back down the elevator shaft. Judging by the lightness of the landing, it was Lloyd returning.

"No one's there," said Lloyd softly. "Hurry."

It was a struggle getting a blind ninja and a dead one up through the elevator roof, but luckily it was a brief one. Further in their favor, the corkscrew nature of the elevator meant that the shaft walls had a spiraling track built in, easy to climb. Jay's arms ached. Exhaustion was starting to roll over him, uninvited. He just wanted this chase to be over . . .

Finally he felt the edge of the shaft. Lloyd pulled him and Zane up, then dragged at Jay's arm again. Jay followed numbly. Dimly he was aware of the wooden floor under his feet—the hallway of the farmhouse. Oh, why was this part sticky and wet? . . . His foggy mind couldn't figure out why, but for some reason he shuddered, chilled.

Another brief pause as Lloyd peeked outside. The coast was clear here, too. The soft squeak of the door opening—then a welcome burst of cold, fresh night air.

"Where are we going?" Jay asked, still whispering. Lloyd was pulling him along with purpose, off the porch, across the grass.

"We should get out of sight of the house," said Lloyd tersely. "We also need to find the escape hatch the Technicians got out through. Maybe we can still open it from the outside."

Jay swallowed. Wouldn't it be too late? How could they hope to get to the backdoor before Nash did? What if they opened the hatch and found Nash waiting for them? What if everyone else had already drowned?

Lloyd's step faltered just the tiniest bit. He was checking the ground for tracks. Luckily the large horde of escaping Technicians had left a clear trail.

Jay struggled to keep Zane from sliding off his back as they plowed into the nearby woods. Twigs slapped at his face and underbrush clawed at his legs. He considered asking Lloyd if he could stop and wait here, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. He didn't want to leave the younger ninja to open that hatch alone.

"It's there." Lloyd was still whispering too, even though they must be well out of earshot of the farmhouse by now. He gave an anxious hiss. "There's a lock on it. Stay here."

Jay could hear him fumbling metal nearby.

"What if Nash is down there?" he whispered, fidgeting.

"I don't think he could get in there that fast. Maybe not at all," said Lloyd. "He'd have to get through the dam room first."

Jay bit his lip, nodding. He shivered at the thought of Nash sloshing through the darkness, just below their feet, slinking among the warehouse wreckage and looking for the bodies of his teammates. What if he _found_ them?

He heard a subdued fizz of green energy. Lloyd must be trying to burn the lock off. Restless, Jay shifted Zane to his arms again.

After a second he froze. He had just imagined that the ground had trembled beneath his feet.

No, wait. Now he was imagining it again.

No, three times was too much. He _wasn't_ imagining it. The ground really _was_ shaking.

"Lloyd?" His voice cracked. "Do you feel that?"

"Yeah." The fizzing had stopped. Jay could almost picture Lloyd looking around sharply, trying to figure out what was happening. Even though he couldn't see anything anyway, he found himself swiveling his head around, by force of habit.

Nearby, a portion of the forest floor suddenly started to heave. Cracks appeared in the loam. Leaves showered away in small rustling avalanches. Finally a giant portion of soft, damp earth simply lifted, like a crumbling trapdoor. It fell away, and Cole came scrabbling up out of the ground, caked in dirt almost past recognition. Panting, he reached down into the hole and dragged up Kai, then Nya.

"GUYS!" yelped Lloyd. All three of them started and whirled around.

"Lloyd, Jay! Oh my gosh, what happened to Zane? Are you okay?"

"We're fine. Zane's—Zane's maybe fine." Lloyd raked his hands through his hair, giddy with relief. "How did you—"

"We couldn't get through the trapdoor, so we dug." Cole shrugged, unfazed by the fact that they'd just crawled up out of the ground like zombies. He did look exhausted and shaken, though. So did Kai and Nya.

"You didn't see Nash?" said Lloyd. "He was heading down there. He passed us while we were heading out."

" _What?_ " Kai barked, going tense. "Oh, _great._ Okay, let's save the reunion for later. We've got to _move_."

They tried to spark their dragons. Kai succeeded. Cole was too worn-out. Lloyd failed. The others gave him questioning looks, but he only hung his head silently.

"Jay?" said Kai. "What are you waiting for?"

"I'm—" Jay gulped. "I couldn't. I can't see."

"You _what?_ "

"I got smoke in my eyes and went blind," said Jay thinly. The stabbing terror of realization hit him again. He was _blind_. He might live the rest of his life in darkness.

The others were silent. Finally Kai muttered an oath.

"It's not like we could fit the six of us on two dragons anyway. All right. Now we _really_ need to move. Where's the Empress?"

"It'll take too long to find it," said Cole. "And to get it out of the ditch. And it might not even be running. Can we walk?"

"Let's check the barn by the farmhouse," said Lloyd. "There might still be some Technicians' cars in there."

"Head back _towards_ the house? What if Nash is coming back out just then?" said Kai.

"He'll probably be looking for us for a pretty long time," said Cole. He glanced grimly at the makeshift tunnel they'd just climbed up through. "Unless he finds _that._ Let's get out of here."

They set out for the farmhouse at a swift lope. Lloyd again led Jay by the wrist, his grip tight with tension. Jay couldn't blame him. He was incredibly grateful that the others were all right, but he was nowhere near calming down just yet. Not until they were safely back home on the _Bounty_.

Heck, maybe not even then.

* * *

 **A/N: A thousand crimson curses. It should not take more than one chapter just to get out of this fricking base and go home. Good grief.**

 **On the bright side, I just recently learned that this story isn't even as long as the Lord of the Rings trilogy yet! To say nothing of Harry Potter. Now I feel better. ^_^**


	97. Oh Hi, Mark

**Hiiiiiiiii all! Chugging right along.**

 **Just gonna add in a quick thank-you to guest reviewers. Hi Zaptrap and Zoodirektor! It's been a while! ^_^ Guest who asked about creating a username, you can if you want to! It might be helpful if you think you'll be asking questions often, since it's easier to direct my answers to a unique name instead of one of several "Guest"s. ^_^'' Olivia, I did not know there was a cat with that name. XD Not intentional, but cool coincidence!**

* * *

 **Oct 10**

 **4:59 AM**

 **Status conditions: Zane inactive, Jay blind, Kai with first-degree burns, Nya lightly wounded, Cole running on empty, Lloyd questionable**

* * *

"We better not get there and find the barn's empty, Lloyd," said Cole as they powered through the woods.

"No, I just thought of something," said Nya. "Nash would have to get here in a car, right? As long as he's still inside Base Zero, the car will be here too!"

"'As long as'," said Kai bleakly. Jay muffled a growl. He was anxious enough _without_ Kai being his usual sunshiny self.

Soon they were in sight of the farmhouse again. They took a broad detour around it and cut the shortest possible path to the barn. Cole gingerly cracked open one of the large double doors, but it still made an awful screeching noise. Everyone cringed and looked around tensely.

Grimacing, Cole poked his head through the door. Then he pulled it back out with a much brighter expression.

"You were right, Nya!"

They all whisked into the barn and shut the door behind them. As soon as Kai saw the vehicle he gave a snort.

"An abduction van. Of course. I don't know what I was expecting."

It was indeed a plain white van. Nya shot to the driver's side.

"I guess it's too much to ask that he left the keys inside . . . " she muttered. "Yeah, no. _Dangit._ It's fine. It's fine. I can hotwire this."

"Let me help." Lloyd strode up next to her.

"You can hotwire?" Nya gave him a surprised look. He only nodded sharply.

"Well, okay then!" said Nya. "I'll work under the hood. You try the ignition."

Lloyd nodded again and swung into the driver's seat. Meanwhile the others piled into the back, dragging Zane and an off-balance Jay. He wrinkled his nose at the powerful moldy scent of Venomari venom filling the interior.

"Hurry up guys, wouldja?" said Cole uneasily. "We don't have all night."

"I'm trying, I'm trying," said Lloyd through his teeth. "Rrrrgh. Ms. Callivitzki, don't fail me now, I _aced_ in Elementary Carjacking—"

A few seconds later, the motor hacked and came screaming to life.

"Put it in neutral! Gun it! Gun it!" Nya yanked her head out from underneath the hood. "Don't hit the brakes, whatever you do, don't hit them!"

She scrambled to slam shut the hood and climb into the front passenger seat.

"How do I change gears if I can't hit the brakes?" asked Lloyd over the roar of the idling motor. "I don't want to strip the transmission."

"Give me a second," said Nya. "Maybe I can—"

She was interrupted by the familiar whine of hinges. The barn door slammed open, and Nash appeared in the entryway.

Lloyd's concerns for the transmission went straight to the Cursed Realm. The others' shouts were nearly drowned out by the agonized grinding of the gearbox as he slammed the van into Drive. Immediately it rocketed forward—straight through the barn wall, over a pine sapling, and out across the yard. Grass spurted beneath its wheels.

"Don't head for the woods, don't head for the woods!" hollered Nya. "We'll never drive through that!"

The van tilted violently, its back wheels sliding as Lloyd yanked it into a curve.

"Don't turn this hard either!" Kai yelled from the back. "If you make a tight circle you'll just bring us close to—"

Nash appeared in the van's headlights, dead ahead. There were various panicked screeches. Lloyd swerved wildly, nearly plowing them into a tree.

"What the heck did you swerve for?" Kai shouted in Lloyd's ear.

"Are you NUTS?" Lloyd snapped back, struggling to get them safely onto the gravel driveway.

"Listen, he could get hit by a _bus_ and walk away without a—"

Further debate was precluded by a bullet hole appearing in the van's ceiling. The bullet lodged into the floor, barely missing Cole's leg.

"He's on top! He's ON TOP OF THE VAN!"

Everyone stiffened in horror, watching the ceiling. If Nash kept firing through, they wouldn't last long.

No more shots came, however—Nash had presumably used up all his bullets shooting through the elevator roof. Instead a pair of fangs sank through the gash in the metal. Venom spurted from the tips, splattering wildly as the van bounced. Kai slammed his katana up against the fangs, but he didn't even chip them. They lazily tilted back, hooking the edge of the gash and pulling tight. Nash was aiming to tear a hole in the roof with his teeth.

"Get the _heck_ offa there!" Kai continued bashing at the fangs with everything heavy he could find inside the van. Jay, pressed into a corner with Zane's dead weight sprawled atop him, listened with alarm to the crashing and creaking and furious hissing.

"You're just helping him!" shouted Cole, exasperated. "You're weakening the ceiling!"

"You got a _better_ idea?"

Nobody noticed what was going on up front. Lloyd was still creating new definitions for "drive it like you stole it"—at least one wheel off the ground at all times. Nya was cranking down the passenger-side window.

"Keep driving!" she ordered, and climbed right out. Lloyd cast a dismayed glance after her, but then set his teeth, bent over the steering wheel, and kept on barreling along. He knew Nya had a head on her shoulders.

The roof of the van was slippery. Nya splayed her palms flat, trusting friction to keep her in place. Towards the back of the vehicle, Nash's hunched reptilian form stirred and uncurled, pulling away from the hole in the roof. He fixed his cold yellow eyes on her, trailing strands of green slime from his fangs.

Nya threw a tire iron at his head. His neck snapped aside deftly and his body followed in a sinuous wave, allowing the heavy object to hurtle past. In the same fluid motion he reared back, winding up to pounce to the front of the van and skewer Nya beneath his claws.

Nya was already in a defensive stance, but a fortuitous katana suddenly poked up through the roof of the van, through the very hole Nash had been enlarging. It would have plunged into his stomach, but he evaded again, twisting around the arcing blade. It bought a little time. While Nash's attention was on the katana, Nya took the opportunity to swing a wrench at his skull. He dodged that too, angled his head underneath it, and lunged, his teeth clacking shut a hairs' breadth from Nya's chest.

Down in the van, Kai was still probing furiously away with the katana.

"He's still up there! I can hear him thumping around!" he growled. Meanwhile Cole looked around, suddenly suspicious, wondering why Nash was no longer trying to chew through the roof. His gaze landed on the empty passenger seat up front.

His eyes widened. He didn't say anything to Kai, but instead scrambled up front, shot Lloyd a disbelieving look, and climbed out the passenger window himself.

He was just in time to see Nya connect her wrench pretty solidly with Nash's jaw. Then after _that_ he was just in time to shove her out of the way of Nash's canines. He nearly ended up perforated himself.

"Are you crazy?!" he shouted at her over the roar of gravel. Then he threw himself into a tumble as a switchblade smacked into the roof just where he'd been standing. He nearly rolled right off the edge of the van. Just when he'd recovered from that, the van got off the gravel driveway and onto the main road. Lloyd swung into a tire-shredding turn, but they were still going too fast—the van's right wheels overshot the asphalt and plowed into the soft shoulder. The entire vehicle bucked and swayed as Lloyd tried to get all four wheels back onto the road. The brawl on top was briefly paused as everyone hung on for dear life.

Nash recovered first. Teeth flashing, he went for Cole's throat. Nya lunged at him from the other side, yanking his switchblade out of the roof and slashing across the back of Nash's head. She only succeeded in making some scratches amongst the thickened scales and knobs of bone, but it was enough to draw Nash's attention. He twisted around, spraying a broad cone of venom as Nya dove out of the way. Before he could pursue her, Cole attacked in turn, ramming against him and socking him in the neck.

Nash decided to focus his attention on one opponent at a time. Twisting back around, he opened his jaws wide and hurled himself at Cole. The earth ninja tensed, throwing up one arm to shield himself. Nash's teeth, slick with venom, slammed closed over Cole's wrist.

There was a morbid crunch. Fabric shredded, and abruptly Nash's head swung away, as if something had broken free. He looked unprecedentedly startled for a second, the torn edge of Cole's sleeve dangling from his teeth. He lurched, splayed out for balance—and suddenly a low-hanging branch slammed into him, swiping him right off the van roof. He twisted like a cat and landed on the road on all fours, snarling.

"HA!" whooped Cole. "Not so tough after all, the chump!" He turned to his battle partner exultantly, then sobered. "Woah Nya."

Kai's sister was clutching onto the van's antenna, her jaw tight and her eyes shut. She was scraping venom off one side of her face.

"He got you, oh no." Cole tossed aside the stick he'd hidden in his sleeve and pushed out his arm, unharmed. He scooted across the van roof to steady Nya, looking her over with concern. "Hang on. Hang on, let's get you back inside the—"

Just at that moment Kai's head poked out the van window.

"ARE YOU BOTH CRAZY?"

Between Cole and Kai they managed to help Nya into the van. Jay listened tensely to the anxious chatter the others were exchanging, letting him pick up bits and pieces about the damage.

"Nya no, don't rub it, you're rubbing it in. Nya. Open your eyes, let me see. Oh _no_."

Nya swayed and groped for the van floor, her eyes unfocused. One was coated green. You could see her expression slowly becoming more and more horror-stricken as the venom took effect.

"Is she gonna be scared?" asked Cole. "Does it still happen if it's only one eye?"

Without warning Nya lashed out. Her blows were luckily slow and inaccurate from the skin venom, but there were a lot of them.

"Clearly, yes!" yelped Cole, getting back to a safe distance. Kai took his chances on staying close.

"Heyyy, you're okay. Easy. Easy. It's just a small dose. Focus on the sane eye." Kai gently wrangled his sister, trying to keep her calm. "Hey, put down the knife sis, okay?"

After nearly losing a finger he decided trying to take the switchblade from Nya wasn't worth it. She was clutching onto the handle with a white-knuckled grip, brandishing it at ready by her chest. It did seem to have a stabilizing effect on her.

"Stop _changing,_ " she growled, her voice slurred. Evidently she was hallucinating in only one eye, which meant she alternated between seeing normally and seeing—who knows what. The fear probably extended to both visuals, though.

"Close one eye," said Kai. "No, the _other_ eye! Ow, geez!"

Jay was still listening intently when he felt someone settle down next to him. Cole had retreated from the chaos, and had chosen to share the corner with Jay and Zane.

"Is she okay?" asked Jay.

"I guess," said Cole. "It's only one eye and some of her face. He didn't touch her otherwise."

"Lucky for him," growled Jay. Cole gave a soft snort of understanding.

"She's really good," he said. "She was the first one out there, and she really gave Nash a run for his money. We oughta bring her along more often."

Jay ducked his head, feeling the obligatory little stab of jealousy. Still, he let reason dictate this time. He didn't have to feel threatened just because Cole and Nya had fought together and Cole respected her prowess. If he hadn't been blinded it might just as well been him up there with her. Maybe.

"Okay, sis, you have absolutely no tolerance for slobber." Nearby, Kai continued in a soothing singsong, sighing as he tried to keep Nya from murdering anyone. "You hear me? Zero."

Cole sighed too.

"I hope we find the _Bounty_ soon."

* * *

Lloyd drove the van out to the desert. As time went by the others began to grow uneasy. The sun was going to rise soon, and it would be harder to find the _Bounty'_ s boosters against a bright sky.

Luckily, Cole soon spotted the pinpoint speck of orange flame. By now rested, he managed to summon his dragon to fetch the flying ship. It swung into a giant banking spiral, steadily lowering towards the van.

Once the ship was in range, Cole tossed down the anchor. With Jay blind, Nya half-crazed, and Zane unresponsive, riding up to the ship proved to be one of the riskiest parts of the entire night. Somehow they all made it up alive.

Aboard the ship, they found the corridors dark. Sensei Wu met them with a candle.

"What happened, Sensei?" For some reason Cole found himself whispering.

"The power went out again," said Wu. "Is everyone all right?"

"Not . . . not exactly," said Cole, sighing. "But the mission was . . . pretty much a success. And we're all here."

Kai muffled an oath, pulling Nya back before she could stomp down the hall and stab the Sensei.

"I see there is still work to be done," said Wu. "Come to the control room. Misako and I will do what we can for medical attention."

Without waiting to be asked, Lloyd took Jay's wrist and pulled him down the hall. Jay shuffled after him wearily, feeling exhaustion well and truly sinking in. He felt utterly empty, numb.

An eager chirp sounded by his ear, and he felt Meep tackle his head. He reached up to pet the purring alien, sighing. At least he was alive . . . That had to count for something. Maybe he'd feel accomplished for destroying the Technicians' headquarters tomorrow. Maybe.

* * *

Silica was typing listlessly, her eyes dull. Code scrolled up the screen. CapsLock was thrown back in his usual armchair, snoring bitterly. Never before in history had someone managed to convey that much bitterness through snoring.

"It might work out," said Silica, even though she probably wouldn't be heard. "I have some alternative coding I was—"

She jumped when CapsLocks' phone dinged. Cap snorted and wagged his head in his sleep, groping at air with one hand. Then his phone dinged again, and again, and again. Silica turned to watch with raised eyebrows as Cap came fully awake, slapping at his chest pocket. He fumbled out the still-dinging phone and squinted at it blearily.

"Iss Blue," he mumbled. With a sleep-sloppy swipe he opened the text messenger. Then his eyes went wide and he sat bolt upright, cursing.

" _They're alive!_ "

"What?!" Silica grabbed the edge of the table, similarly wide-eyed. " _Who?!_ '

"First Spinjitzu Master's seven-inch—" CapsLock got up and started pacing in rage, scrolling through the long string of furious text messages still pouring in from Nash. "Blue just fought the idiots. They all _escaped!_ "

"You're not serious." Silica stared. "The ninja? They're alive?!"

"Blue saw at least four of them. Eff ess em, they stole a van and escaped. Eff ess em _unpreceded_. I can't believe this. They trashed Base Zero and _escaped_. This is _it_ , if I see them I'm not waiting around for Blue to murder them—"

As CapsLock continued ranting, and the phone continued dinging, Silica slumped back in her swivel chair and sank her face into her hands. She was simultaneously in utter dismay and struggling with a bizarre fit of relieved laughter.

"Unbelievable." She finally managed to sober up, dragging her hands down her face. " _Unbelievable_. Are they _roaches?_ "

CapsLock, ignoring her, chucked his phone against the nearest wall. It finally stopped dinging.

"Now what? _Now_ what?" he demanded, rounding on Silica. " _What are you grinning about?!_ "

"Oh, shut up, Cappers," groaned Silica, sprawling back in her swivel chair and swiping one hand dismissively. While CapsLock fumed, she stared at the ceiling for a contemplative moment.

"Well," she said at last. "We're next."

Suddenly galvanized, she snapped to her feet. Powering across the room, she began to methodically scoop laptops and radio equipment into a cardboard box. CapsLock watched her with dismay.

"Dammit. _Dammit._ They can't find us that soon," he said. "Can they? I mean, just because they were in Base Zero doesn't mean they can trace you or me, does it?"

"Don't kid yourself!" Silica hunted down another box. "They got in there completely undetected. They got out again. They must have known _all_ our security measures. They absolutely had inside help."

"Mack?" ground out CapsLock.

"Who knows! Probably. But even if they _don't_ know who we are yet, I can guarantee you the police will start digging around the wreckage in Base Zero, and before you know it they'll find something that gives us away." Silica shoved a box of jumbled electronics into CapsLocks' hands. "Get busy. I've got a backup plan. But first we've gotta disappear."

* * *

 **A/N:Heh. I'm a little disappointed that it's mostly just action this chapter, but the length was good and it was a good place to stop. I guess that means we get to have the next chapter a little sooner! Hopefully. ^_^''**

 **Ahhh, back to mostly fluff and ninja home life for a while. I can't wait.**


End file.
